A Boy, Lost
by tangledhair
Summary: Things are heating up with the Order, and Harry is growing in power. Harry starts a dangerous romance with Malfoy just so he can feel like a "real" teenage boy. Rated for language and slash. COMPLETE
1. the Winter Parade

Author's notes: Hello, this is my first long-term fanfiction project. So I hope it goes okay. Those of you who will review, will you please keep in mind that my Harry Potter books are in storage very far away? What I mean is, if you see errors, like someone's name is wrong, or I give a house the wrong school colors, please let me know so I can correct it. I don't have anything here to reference.

Also, everyone go read Wintermoon2's Blast from the Past. It kind of inspired me to write a long-term story, and she's letting me borrow plot devices from it when I get stuck. It's not going to be anywhere near the same story though, so don't _even_ worry about getting redundant.

Thank you for reading!

X

XIX

XIXIX "The Winter Parade" XIXIX

Harry Potter waved his wand, adding a golden luster to the giant lion's head. Harry was working with the Gryffindor Quidditch team and a few other housemates to put the finishing touches on their float for the Quidditch Winter Parade that Hogwarts was holding this year. Each house was building a float for their team to ride before a school-wide assembly in the Quidditch field.

These floats were different from the ones Harry was used to, in the way that they actually did float, and the way that they shone with magic. He stood back to admire his work, when he heard an emphatic, "Brilliant!" ring out from behind him.

"Harry, that's great! Why didn't I think of that?!" shouted Ron Weasley, one of Harry's best friends, who like Harry was donning his Quidditch robes for the coming parade.

"Well, thinking was never really your strong suit, was it?" laughed another redhead.

"Shut up, Ginny."

"Ooh, good come back."

Harry smirked at the brother-sister argument. Such things were becoming a lot more commonplace now that Ron and Ginny were both on the Quidditch team. Their arguments were never mean-spirited, but they were quite frequent.

They weren't, however, nearly as annoying as Ron and Hermione Granger could get, thought Harry as he noticed his other best friend heading their way. The Gryffindor team excitedly crowded around her for the report.

"Did you see all the floats?" asked Ron.

"No, I couldn't find Slytherin's." A few of the team members moaned slightly. "But Hufflepuff's is no challenge. They've obviously put a lot of work into it, but there is no overall theme, so it looks kind of sporadic." She glanced over to the Griffyndor's float. "Ooh, nice glow. Anyway, Ravenclaw's is really sleek, though. Very sophisticated looking, but lacking in cheer if you ask me. So it's really only Slytherin's that could possibly be a challenge to us."

The best float in the parade would earn its house 100 points toward the House Cup. Gryffindor was already in the lead, after beating Ravenclaw and Slytherin in Quidditch. But Slytherin was a close second, having beaten Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.

"I wonder where they're keeping it," mused Harry.

"No telling. I looked everywhere except under the lake. I don't know how hard they're working on their float, but they're sure working hard to keep it a secret."

"Are you sure no one saw you?" asked Christopher Billings, the new beater from third year.

With only a trace of a smile, Hermione answered smoothly, "Of that, I am certain. I only wish we had thought to spy earlier." She glanced at Harry whose invisibility cloak she had borrowed for the task.

"Well, we're not Slytherins, are we?" said Ginny.

"Too right," said Ron. "Well, Cap'n, is there anything else this float needs?"

Harry looked at the giant lion, bathed in Gryffindor colors. Its mane was flowing like water, its teeth bared and claws extended. It looked ready to pounce. Words danced around it, singing, "The Gryffindor Lions Protect the House Cup!" Broom sticks and snitches sped around and around the lion in fine circles.

Ginny and Hermione had worked on a roar for the lion. They had kept it quiet during test runs so as to make it a surprise, but a simple charm would make it ring through the bleachers during the parade.

Harry smiled and shook his head. "I think it's spectacular, but like I keep saying, I've never seen a wizarding parade before. What do you guys think?"

The Quidditch team and the spattering of other Gryffindors who had not yet made their way to the Quidditch field tried to look at the float thoughtfully, but they just grinned. "It's great," they said. "Don't mess with perfection."

"I can't wait to see this parade," squealed Hermione. "I saw a small one over the summer when I went to visit Victor. There was an announcer who did not stop talking, but it was in Bulgarian, so I didn't understand a word!"

"Oh, did Vickie take you to a parade?" asked Ron with mock interest.

"Don't call him that!" shot Hermione.

"Why not? Vickie's so sweet, and soooo good-looking," he added sarcastically. He cupped his hands under his face and adopted a girly falsetto, "Why, I want to date him myself."

A few of the others laughed. Hermione just glared. "Ron, you're sixteen. Grow up, already."

Ron opened his mouth, but Harry cut him off before their bickering could go any farther. "All right," Harry said authoritatively, "You lot get to the parade- I want Gryffindor to have the best damn cheering section ever! And thanks for all your work. There is no way anyone's going to beat us today." The few who weren't on the Quidditch team turned toward the field. Harry thought that he saw Hermione grin and wink at them as they scampered off. He was just about to ask Ginny what they were up to, when he heard her murmur a swear word.

"What?"

"That's the Git's owl." She pointed up to a brown owl circling down toward them.

"Percy," muttered Ron, shaking his head. "What the hell does he want?"

Ginny held out her arm and Percy Weasley's owl landed deftly on it. Ron untied not one, but two letters from its feet. "One for each of us," he said dryly. The owl took off as they ripped open the parchment, grim looks on their faces. Harry looked from Ron to Ginny as they scowled down at the letters from their older brother.

"What a bloody arse!" snapped Ginny. She crumpled up the letter and shoved it into her robe. "I can't even look at this right now. I'll deal with it after we win Best Float in the Parade." She grinned at Harry, her eyes still dark, and made her way to the float with the rest of the team.

Harry looked at Ron. "What'd he have to say?"

"Same old, same old," said Ron, following Ginny's lead and shoving a crumpled letter of his own into his pocket. "It's not too late for me and Ginny to avoid getting drawn into your and Dumbledore's 'dangerous vigilante group', and that Fudge has everything under control so if we really want to help against You-Know-Who, we should join up with the ministry." He and Harry mounted their brooms to lead the float to their corner of the Quidditch field with the rest of the team. "Why can't he just admit he was wrong and say he's sorry for all the stupid shit he said?"

"Same reason Fudge can't, I suspect," said Harry.

Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic himself, had mounted a slander campaign against Harry and Professor Dumbledore last year, rather than believe them that Voldemort had returned to power. After seeing Voldemort for himself, Fudge stopped all legal action against Harry, Dumbledore, and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix, but in order to save face for a year of inaction, he still maintained to the media that the Order of the Phoenix were nothing but a vigilante group, and the wizarding community would be better put to support the Ministry of Magic than the Order. Harry was continually amazed by the lengths to which politics and pride could blind people to the truth.

The parade was about to begin. He shrugged off his thoughts about the ignorance of the people in power, and called out to Ron if he knew what Hermione and the others were up to.

"What do you mean?" Ron called back.

But before Harry could answer, sparks lit up the already darkening mid-afternoon winter sky. "Let's go!" he yelled. The team let up a roar of their own, and they led the float onto the field.

Hufflepuff's badger was indeed a sporadic cacophony of glitter, color, streamers and sparkles. It radiated with cheer, but it looked like every single person who worked on it had had their own vision in mind and set about decorating without discussing it with anyone else. The team soared around it in crazy spirals, sometimes narrowly missing each other.

Ravenclaw's eagle had a sleek blue-black shine to it. Its wings were spread, with an elegant banner flowing from wing to wing, proudly stating, "Ravenclaw is Number One." The team flew at its side, proud and refined.

But Harry's heart skipped a beat when he saw Slytherin's float. For a terrifying second, he thought they had led a real dragon onto the Quidditch field. It's wings flapped and its head moved from side to side, seemingly looking at the crowds, ready to attack. But then he noticed that the movements were too slow to be that of a real dragon.

As Harry heard the announcer say Slytherin, he shouted to Ginny, "NOW!" She muttered the incantation, and their own lion let out a roar so loud Harry thought his eardrums just might burst. But his plan worked. The crowd dropped their interest in the dragon float, and wildly applauded the huge lion whose fierce roar still echoed throughout the school grounds.

Then a group of Gryffindors, led by Hermione, released a bag of confetti colored red and gold. The other houses were also releasing confetti of their own colors, but Hermione had special ordered this confetti from Fred and George Weasley's joke shop. It spread all over the field, seeming to multiply every second. Soon it seemed the entire Quidditch field was bathed in red and gold.

Gryffindor won the Best Float in the Parade by a very narrow margin of staff votes. Slytherin was only one vote behind.

XIXIX

A great banquet followed the parade, and everyone ate heartily. There were two more weeks of school before winter break. It had actually been Ron's idea to have the parade two weeks before school let out. During a meeting of staff members, Head Girl and Boy, and the Prefects, Ron sensibly pointed out that if the parade followed the week of midterm exams, either no one would study because they were too busy working on the float, or else the floats would be shabby, because everyone would have been studying so hard.

Everyone in the meeting agreed, and now the student body was thoroughly enjoying a Friday of fun before they would really have to get to work on studying for their midterms.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team entered the banquet a few minutes late, to the cheers of the Gryffindor table, and boos of Slytherin. Harry, Ron and Ginny slid into the seats that Hermione, Neville Longbottom, and Seamus Finnigan were saving them. Seamus kissed Ginny lightly on the cheek. Hermione raised an eyebrow at Ginny, who pretended not to notice. Hermione whispered very softly into Harry's ear that Ginny said she was going to break up with Seamus a week ago. Harry also raised an eyebrow at Ginny. This time she shrugged and stuck her hands in her pockets.

"Damn," she said. "I forgot all about this." She pulled out Percy's crumpled letter.

"What's that?" asked Hermione.

"The Git wrote us again, trying to protect us from Harry's Vigilantes," said Ron.

"Really?" asked Neville incredulously. "Are the blokes at the Ministry still on about that?"

"They're fools, is what they are," piped in Seamus. "More'n half of the school is ready to join the Order of the Phoenix and follow Dumbledore's lead against You-Know-Who. Fudge doesn't have that sort of following here. He's a bloody fool not to embrace Dumbledore."

Ron nodded his head and gestured emphatically with his fork. "The Order's out there putting their lives on the line... the least Fudge and that Git could do is say, 'Oh, we're sorry. We were wrong. Thank you for all you're doing.'"

"We shouldn't be talking about this," said Hermione in her 'let's be sensible' voice. "Dumbledore says that so long as they're against V- Voldemort, they're on our side. We shouldn't join in their petty bickering. That's all politics. It's nothing personal against the Order."

"Yeah, well, when my brother-the-Git writes me saying that my parents are out of their minds to fight against that dark son of a bitch, What's-His-Name, it's personal to me."

Ginny could not bring herself to start calling Voldemort by his name, but did take to the more mocking 'What's-His-Name,' rather than the fear inspired 'You-Know-Who'. It always made Harry smile to hear it.

He let the others continue their debate about the Order and the Ministry, but in his silence, his own mood grew fouler. He had told Ron and Hermione about the prophecy he heard in Dumbledore's office six months ago that said he was the only one who could conquer Voldemort, but he hadn't told them the actual wording. He thought that the prophecy left something to be desired. Specifically, he wanted a sentence that clearly said he would be the victor. Instead, the words "neither can live" weighed heavily on him.

Further contributing to his foul mood was the memory of Sirius Black. He first heard the prophecy only a few hours after his godfather's death. The ominous words not only reminded him of the future that lay before him, but also the loss that lay behind.

It couldn't have been past 5:00, but the ceiling of the Great Hall revealed a pitch-black night sky. Harry was glad when his group got up from the table to head back to the common room. He was now in an awful mood, and didn't want to be around people. Last year, his friends complained about how he was constantly ready to fight them. One thing that losing Sirius had taught him was how much he really needed and depended on his friends. He didn't want to push them away with his bad moods, so he found it was best to be alone when one hit him. They usually understood, and let him have his space. They were there if he wanted to talk.

A crowd at the Great Hall entrance slowed them. Harry kept his head down, avoiding eye contact, avoiding conversation, avoiding any interaction. But then he felt someone shove up against him, and heard a familiar snide drawl.

"Watch it, Potter," spat Draco Malfoy who, as always, was flanked by his large and menacing cronies, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

"Sod off, Malfoy," said Hermione from Harry's side. She was apparently trying to keep Harry from having to deal with him right now, for which Harry was grateful. She knew him well.

"Stuff it, you filthy mudblood!"

Harry was looking down, so he saw when Malfoy moved to grab his wand. He was not about to let that arrogant prick hurt anyone he cared about. In a flash, his own wand was out. The crowd pressed forward, in, and away. Panic and confusion spread as the two dueled, shouting curses back and forth. Somehow, in the moving crowd, they both were able to dodge each other's curses. But others weren't so lucky.

Ten seconds couldn't have passed since they first pulled out their wands. But as Professor McGonagall stepped angrily between them, Harry saw that six people had been innocent victims of their duel, including Crabbe, Goyle, Seamus, Neville, and two Ravenclaw second years. Harry was furious and ashamed. He never should have engaged in a duel with so many people around.

Professor McGonagall ordered some of the surrounding students to help the wounded to the infirmary. Then she grabbed Harry and Malfoy by their robe collars, and dragged them to the front of the Hall.

"This behavior has got to stop! Look at you! Neither of you with so much as a boil on your nose, and sending SIX PEOPLE to the infirmary! 20 points from each house! And you will both serve a detention next week!"

"But we've got to study for exams next week," argued Malfoy in a defiant drawl.

"Very well, you'll both serve a detention tonight! You are to clean up the Quidditch field. And don't even think about reporting back to me until every speck of confetti has been cleared away!"

Malfoy glared from Harry to Professor McGonagall. But Harry just stared at his feet. He deserved this, after all. "Yes ma'am," he said, and turned to go.

"Stop!" They both turned back to her. "Give me your wands. I will _not _have you dueling while serving detention."

"But-"

"No buts, Mr. Malfoy. I'll return your wand when the field is clean."

Malfoy stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds, but then they handed over their wands.

They had to stop at Filch's office to get garbage bags, which Malfoy had never even heard of before. Filch was overjoyed that two students were in trouble and would have to clean the field for him—and without magic, at that! His snide taunting did nothing to ease either of their moods.

They walked down to the field in silence, glaring at each other through the cold.

"Bloody hell!" said Malfoy when they got to the field. "This is going to take all night."

Harry just glared at him, thinking that at least the field was big enough for them to be able to avoid each other for however long this detention did last.

Harry was pulling out a garbage bag so he could get to work, when Malfoy spat, "Give me one of those rubbish sacks, Potter." The word 'Potter' was full of venom when Malfoy said it.

Harry tried to ignore him. 'Just get through the night,' he thought.

But Malfoy stepped into Harry's face, and grabbed the bags out of his hands. "I said, give me those!"

Harry snatched them back without a word. Malfoy grabbed them again and Harry shoved him. Anger flashed in Malfoy's cool blue eyes. He dropped the bags. "Who the hell do you think you are?" He shoved Harry back.

Harry looked away. 'I'm not going to fight him. This field is huge. We can avoid a fight.'

"I'm a MALFOY, Potter. What are you?" He shoved him again. "You're just a pathetic little orpha-"

But he didn't get to finish his insult, because Harry's fist was pounding into his jaw. Malfoy staggered back. For a second, the sixteen-year-olds just looked at each other, not really knowing what to do. But then Malfoy lunged at him, and the two tumbled to the ground, flailing against each other. They were a rolling mess of fists and elbows and knees, punching and kicking each other in the face, chest, stomach, legs, and arms—anywhere they could reach. They screamed curses and grunted, letting out all of the rage that had accumulated between them for the past six years.

Neither of them knew how long they fought before they simply lay on the ground, gasping deep the cold winter air into heaving chests that burned with each breath. They were worn out and covered with blood and bruises. Harry's nose had been bleeding, but it seemed to have stopped now. He wiped some of the clotted blood away and laughed. He felt... relieved, like all of his stress was washed away in the fight. He couldn't even remember the last time he felt so calm.

"What are you laughing at?" asked Malfoy, lying next to him.

"I don't know. My nose was bleeding and I thought it was funny." He looked over at Malfoy, who rolled his eyes. But then he started to laugh too.

They lay there for a few minutes laughing. Then Harry pulled himself into a sitting position. His whole torso hurt. "You okay, Malfoy?"

"Yeah, I think so," he said, pulling himself up. "You?"

"Yeah." Harry looked down and noticed that his robe was torn in three places. He looked back to Malfoy to tell him this, but only saw the blood on his face. Malfoy was trying to wipe blood out of his eye. A gash in his forehead was still bleeding pretty heavily. "Man, are you sure you're okay?" said Harry, alarmed.

"It was bleeding off to the side when I was laying down. I thought it had stopped, actually. It's really burning my eye."

Harry ripped off a section of the sleeve of his robe, and wadded it up.

"What are you doing? You'll ruin it!"

"Oh hell, Malfoy. It's already ruined." Harry smirked at him. "You have to put pressure on it, or it will keep bleeding."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's something muggles do when they bleed." He handed Malfoy the wad of cloth. "If you press this against your cut, the blood will clot faster." Malfoy looked at him blankly. "It'll stop bleeding. That way you won't have to go to McGonagall and tell her we've been fighting and you need to go the infirmary to be healed with magic."

"Okay," said Malfoy, unconvinced. He pushed the cloth against his forehead. "Regardless, though, I need both hands to pick up this confetti, so I might as well go in for extra punishment and get to the infirmary."

"No you don't," said Harry. He tore a longer strip of his robe, and tied it around Malfoy's head, holding the wad of cloth firmly in place.

"Potter! That's ingenious. Where do you come up with these things?"

Harry just laughed and stood up. "Come on, we'd best get started then." He offered Malfoy a hand up. They grabbed a couple of garbage bags and started to pick up the confetti.

"I don't get it," said Malfoy, after awhile.

"What?"

"In six years we've done nothing but fight, and now suddenly, I don't hate you anymore."

Harry laughed. "Me neither. Weird, huh?"

"No, I mean, really. What's going on?"

"Well, I've seen in muggle movies that sometimes guys have to fight to become friends. I don't really get it either."

They continued their conversation as they cleaned for the next six hours. They talked about their classes and Quidditch, about girls they liked and teachers they hated. As they walked to Professor McGonagall's office, Malfoy said, "You know Potter, you're not that bad."

"Neither are you."

Professor McGonagall's eyes widened in horror and fury when she saw the state of the two sixth years at her door. "Have you two been fighting?!" she demanded.

They shook their heads.

"No, I fell," said Harry.

"Me too."

They were both shaking with the laughter they were holding in. Professor McGonagall stared at them, dumbfounded. She handed them their wands back, and said, "Mr. Malfoy, you need to report to the infirmary to take care of that cut on your forehead. Mr. Potter, you may return to your room."

"Thank you and good night," said Harry with a smile. He and Malfoy broke into laughter as they turned and walked down the hall.

At the end of the hall, they turned off in separate directions.

"Later, Potter."

"Later, Malfoy."

Professor McGonagall's jaw dropped as she looked after them down the hall. "For the love of Merlin, what is happening here?"

XIXIX

XIX

X


	2. Going Home to the Black House

X

XIX

XIXIX "Going Home to the Black House" XIXIX

"Merlin's beard, Harry! Are you okay?"

The Gryffindor common room was still in full party swing when Harry finally made it back that night. He was in such a good mood that he had forgotten that he was bruised and bloodied, wearing torn robes. His housemates swarmed around him, already planning their revenge before Harry even opened his mouth.

"I can make his head grow twice as big as normal."

"His head's big enough as it is. I just found this one hex where you can't go to the bathroom at all!"

"Ew! Why don't we give him the runs before his potions exam next week!"

"Or we could blind him!"

"No!" yelled Harry.

"Just temporarily..."

"No, no. Guys, look. No retaliation for this. We got into a fight, but everything's cool between us now. So, just don't worry about it."

"What do you mean 'everything's cool between you now'?" asked Hermione, looking like she didn't understand what that string of words meant.

"Just that. We got into a fight, and then we talked. And now everything's fine. So leave him alone."

"Harry," said Ron, "I hate to state the obvious, but you're talking about DRACO MALFOY here, not some guy from Hufflepuff. Things do NOT become 'cool' between you and Draco Malfoy."

"I'm not saying you have to like him, or even that you have to believe me that he's not that bad a guy. I'm just saying, don't retaliate for this. This is not a big deal."

"Harry, you have a black eye. Your nose is bloody. This is a big deal," said Ginny, as though that settled the matter.

"Oh, wait, I get it!" said Ron. "He's in the infirmary, isn't he?"

Harry shrugged and grinned, because after all, he was. And this admission might get them to drop the subject long enough for him to go clean up. "As a matter of fact..." he began coyly.

"I knew it!" shouted Ron. "Guys, leave Malfoy alone for this. Harry already put him in the infirmary, and if we go after him further, then we're just being arses. Right?"

The room agreed that Malfoy had probably already gotten what he deserved, so Harry went upstairs to shower.

The subject was dropped until the next day, when Harry and Malfoy casually exchanged waves hello in the Great Hall during breakfast. Word had somehow already gotten around the entire school about their fight, but a truce between them was far juicier news. It seemed to Harry as though people couldn't think about anything else, especially among the Gryffindors.

"So, what, are you really friends now, after all—I mean, after... everything?!" Hermione simply could not wrap her mind around the idea.

"Well, no. I mean, he's not my friend like you're my friend. But I don't think we're enemies anymore. I mean, 'Mione, we talked for _hours_ during detention. Normal conversation, too. No insults. No arguments. Just like he was some guy I hardly know who I was serving detention with."

"But he's not just some guy, Harry," interjected Ron angrily. "He's Malfoy. He's the guy who tried to get Hagrid fired. And who teamed up with Umbridge to get you kicked out of school last year. And who called Hermione a m... a mu... a _you-know-what_, just yesterday!"

Harry had to concede that point. "You're right. You're both right. Malfoy has always been a little snot to everyone. And we've always hated each other. But it's like, when we fought we kind of got it out of our system or something. I'm not saying I'm going to go hang out with him instead of you two, I'm just saying..." He cast about for the right words.

"What are you saying, Harry?" asked Hermione doubtfully.

Harry sighed. What was he saying? "Plenty of people want to kill me. I'm not going to go out of my way to keep enemies. I have enough. If Malfoy drops off that list, I'm fine with it. I'm willing to let the past go."

Ron and Hermione exchanged a long look before nodding.

"I guess that makes sense, mate," said Ron.

"Just be careful, Harry."

XIXIX

The three walked into the Potions' dungeon Monday afternoon, and made their way to some seats in the middle of the room. They had decided that that was a fair compromise, since Hermione insisted on always sitting in the front, and Ron and Harry found that Professor Snape picked on them far less when they hid in the back.

As they readied their cauldrons, Malfoy walked in, flanked as always by Crabbe and Goyle.

"Hey, Malfoy," said Harry, glancing up from his desk.

"Hey, Potter."

The four words were a simple enough gesture, but the room grew quiet for a second, and then exploded in whispers and murmurs. Harry looked back up and around the room, startled by the reaction. Malfoy just smirked, apparently pleased to be center of attention. He moved to his seat without looking at Harry again. Crabbe and Goyle, however, glared menacingly at him, cracking their knuckles.

Harry was about to ask Hermione and Ron why they thought Crabbe and Goyle were still being such pricks, when he noticed that they were both glaring at Malfoy. He smiled to himself. 'Maybe we're not so different after all.'

Potions was less bad than normal. Snape still picked on Harry and Ron, but at least Malfoy wasn't adding to the problems. Harry received no jeers, no silent insults or threats. He thought he could manage Snape okay so long as he and Malfoy were no longer enemies.

Even Ron noticed. As they left the dungeon, he said to Harry, "I'm not saying I trust him, because I don't, but you're right about things being better without Malfoy being a prick all the time."

XIXIX

The next two weeks passed in a tornado of academic stress, studies, and tests. People stopped talking about Harry and Malfoy so much, mainly because there was not much to talk about. Their civility turned out to be a lot less interesting to talk about than when they were fighting in the halls all the time. For Harry's part, he didn't think about it very much after the first few days, suddenly being buried under seeming miles of parchment.

His last exam for the fall term was Divination with Firenze, a centaur who used to live in the Forbidden Forest. The Gryffindor and Slytherin class sat out in the hall outside the classroom that was magically transformed to look like the night sky. One by one, they went in to read the movements of the stars and planets, and divine major world events from them.

Harry and Ron found Divination to be a nearly impossible subject. Firenze's teachings were enigmatic at best. He often explained vague meanings behind planetary alignments, but then contradicted those vague meanings with other vague meanings. Harry and Ron spent their last few minutes pouring over their notes, trying to assign various vague meanings to Mars' alignment with Saturn, or Pluto, or Earth.

He didn't notice Malfoy enter or leave the classroom for his exam. But he did look up when the Slytherin said to the waiting Crabbe and Goyle, "Of course I passed. I just looked up and said, 'Oh, I clearly see major changes ahead, but I don't know what they are, because Mars is so bright.'"

Harry laughed. Malfoy looked down at him with a friendly smirk. "That's great, Malfoy. Do you mind if I use that?"

Malfoy shrugged. "Suit yourself, Potter. I'm heading out now, but I'll see you after break, okay?"

"Sure. Later, Malfoy."

"Later, Potter."

And then he smiled. Harry must have smiled back, but really couldn't say for sure, because at that moment, his thoughts scattered. It was the first time Malfoy had openly smiled at Harry without blood on his face, and Harry was startled. He really did look like someone Harry could be friends with.

He could definitely be friends with Malfoy.

XIXIX

Remus Lupin greeted Harry with a hug in the Black house, which served as the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Harry was glad Professor Lupin was there. He hated coming to this house, his inheritance. It reminded him too much of his godfather. Harry couldn't look around the house without remembering the dark objects that once adorned the walls as symbols of Sirius' dysfunctional upbringing.

Sirius grew up as a good wizard in a dark family that cut him off when he was a teenager. Harry and Sirius shared a bond over their horrible childhoods. Harry hated being witness to it again and again, every time he came "home."

Lupin released Harry and smiled broadly at him. "How are you doing? How were your exams? Are you hungry? Do you want some tea?"

Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Fine. Hard. No. Yes."

Lupin looked up, mentally scrolling through the questions he had asked Harry. "Tea? You want tea?"

"That would be lovely."

Harry set his bags down on the drawing room floor, and placed the portkey Dumbledore had conjured up on the end table. With Voldemort and the Death Eaters at large, the Order never allowed Harry to travel alone anywhere. He went by portkey or floo powder from the Order's headquarters to the Weasley's house, to Diagon Alley. When he had to go anywhere else, he was accompanied by a large group of Order members.

But into the kitchen, Lupin served as Harry's only guide. Lupin slung his arm over Harry's shoulder in a fatherly way. Harry was not yet sure how he felt about Lupin falling into this role in his life. An orphan from age one, the only real father-figure Harry had ever had was Sirius, who he had so recently lost.

Sirius.

"I know it's hard," said Lupin quietly after he filled the kettle. "I miss him too."

Harry looked down. He must have been showing some of his hurt. He suddenly didn't want tea anymore.

"Do you mind if we have tea late? I'd kind of like to take a nap."

"No problem, Harry. I'm here if you need anything."

Harry headed out into the hall and then upstairs to his room. Lupin stood in the kitchen, staring at the door after Harry, feeling helpless, and wondering if he would ever get through.

XIXIX

Harry lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling and feeling awful in his house. In Sirius' house. It would always be Sirius' house to Harry. The midterm exams were over, but the stress of study was still with him. He was glad to be at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. He didn't feel quite right unless he knew what was going on outside, in the war. But why did the headquarters have to be here?

Harry's shoulders hurt from the tension of anxiety, of loss. The last time he felt like this, he had gotten into a fistfight with Malfoy. He imagined Sirius laughing as he told him about the fight, and tears came to his eyes. He rolled face down in his bed and sobbed into his pillow.

He cried until he fell asleep, thinking about Sirius, thinking about Professor Lupin, thinking about Malfoy.

XIXIX

He was standing on the Quidditch field in his robes, ready for a game. The stands were full of cheering crowds. Sirius stood behind him, rubbing his shoulders, readying him for the game, giving him words of encouragement.

Harry looked up and saw Malfoy in his Slytherin robes standing on the other side of the field. He was holding the snitch in his hand, showing it to the crowds.

"Go get him," said Sirius, with a slight push.

Harry walked forward, as did Malfoy. The crowd was screaming all around them. Harry looked back to Sirius for encouragement, but Sirius was gone. Suddenly, Harry felt all alone. The crowd went silent. Malfoy was standing in front of him, holding the snitch. Harry was so mad at him for having the snitch.

But then Malfoy lifted his hand high above his head, and let the snitch slip through his fingers. Harry watched it fly away, to be lost in the sky. He looked back down to Malfoy who was smiling. He had a beautiful, open smile. Harry wanted to reach out and touch his face. Harry wanted to...

Everything turned dark, and Malfoy was on the ground, writhing in pain. Harry wanted to stop, but his wand continued to point at the screaming Slytherin. He opened his mouth and let out a vicious, high-pitched laugh, and felt a searing, white-hot pain shoot across his forehead.

Harry was screaming and banging his head against the wall when Lupin grabbed him.

"Harry. Harry! Wake up. Oh, Merlin, wake up!" Lupin dragged him away from the wall and into his arms. "It's okay. You're safe. Please wake up."

He rocked the shaking sixteen-year-old, holding his flailing limbs tight. Harry tried to turn away, but Lupin held him close. Even when Harry retched, and threw up on his chest, he held Harry close.

Eventually, the shaking turned to trembles. Harry looked up, seeming to hardly notice the vomit between them. "Voldemort was torturing him."

"Who, Harry?"

"Malfoy," he said weakly.

"Lucius?"

"Draco." Tears began to stream down his face. He winced suddenly, reached up and grabbed his scar. And still, Lupin held him. The pain seemed to subside, but it had reopened old wounds. Harry again began to cry, but this time, he was not alone.

XIXIX

Cleaned up several hours later, Harry quietly made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He was greeted by the friendly faces of Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, Angelina Johnson, and Professor Lupin.

"All right, Harry?" asked Angelina, clapping him on the back. Angelina had been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team for years with Harry. Shortly after she graduated last year, she joined the Order, and was now one of their most active recruiting members. She was smart and charismatic, and played Quidditch for the Chuddley Cannons, which meant that she traveled often and had a sparkling reputation with young potential Order members.

Harry smiled weakly and nodded. "You?"

"I'm great. We won our last game, and you know, I think we got a shot at the World Cup this year!"

"Good one. Will you get me tickets?"

"Box seats." Angelina nudged his side.

Tonks jumped over and gave Harry a short, squeezing hug. Today she had long, blue dreadlocks and a septum piercing. "Nice nose ring," said Harry.

"Ah, I wanted to try something different. Do you really like it?"

Harry cocked his head and squinted. "You know, I do."

He slid into a seat next to Mad-Eye Moody, who shook his hand and gruffly said, "Hello, Potter, doing well this evening?"

"Been better, actually. My scar was hurting earlier."

Moody nodded seriously. "Albus and Snape are still working on that. They'll figure something out."

"I doubt Snape is trying too hard," mumbled Harry. They had never been on good terms, but things had gotten decidedly worse between them since last year when Harry sneaked into some of Snape's memories in a pensieve.

"You know he's trying," said Lupin calmly as he placed a pot of hot stew on the table before them. He was looking down at Harry with concerned eyes. "Are you okay?"

Harry nodded, but it was a lie.

"Good," said Tonks enthusiastically. "Dumbledore wants you to work on Defense Against the Dark Arts while you're here over the break, seeing as how there's no teacher at Hogwarts this year."

"Harry doesn't need a teacher," said Angelina defiantly. "He was teaching _us_ last year."

"You can never learn enough," said Moody. "Plus, we don't want him to fall out of practice."

Harry looked at Lupin and shrugged. "Whatever."

Moody and Lupin exchanged glances. Harry pretended not to notice, but his mood darkened further. Even after everything, the Order pushed him to the sidelines. Now he would spend the next three weeks practicing spells against allies rather than enemies. They would probably have nightly conversations about him after he went to bed, talking about how he "wasn't ready yet" to be out there fighting.

Harry tried to pull into himself during dinner, but Lupin wouldn't have it. He drilled Harry about everything going on at Hogwarts—all of his classes, all of his teachers, all of his friends. Harry carefully avoided bringing up his truce with Malfoy. He didn't want to think about him right now. He kept seeing flashes of that lovely smile turning into horrific screams. He felt sick again. He hardly ate.

Despite Lupin's protests, he returned to his room after dinner. He was unpacking his belongings when he heard an angry murmur of voices downstairs. He opened his door almost silently, and strained his ears to hear what was happening. He wished that he still had a pair of Fred and George's extendible ears, but there was nothing to be done about that now. As it was, he only caught catches of the conversation in the drawing room.

"Surely Potter knows better..." barked Moody. Harry scowled. Already, they were talking about him behind his back.

A steady murmur that sounded like Snape's sneering voice interrupted him. He spoke in such a controlled low tone that Harry couldn't make out a single word.

"I think that might better come from you," stated Lupin angrily.

Another murmur from Snape, followed by a jumble of voices. The few words Harry made out included, "Draco Malfoy" and "death wish." So, that's what this was about. Snape must have been at the Death Eater meeting with Malfoy.

Harry's heart suddenly dropped into his stomach. Malfoy couldn't have been tortured because of him, could he? He stepped back into his room. He didn't want to know any more. He backed against the wall with his eyes squeezed shut.

Then he heard a soft knock on the door.

"Harry?"

It was Lupin. Harry kept his eyes shut. He heard Lupin rush forward.

"You're so pale, what happened? Did you have another vision?" Lupin's laid his hands gently on Harry's shoulders. Harry shook his head. "What is it?"

In barely a whisper, Harry said, "It was because of me, wasn't it?"

Lupin sighed heavily. "Then you heard? I was just coming to get you. I didn't think we should be having that conversation without you."

Harry opened his eyes and looked at Lupin. He meant it. "Is Snape still down there?"

"Yes, Professor Snape is still downstairs."

"I'm not going. I know enough."

"Harry—"

"No."

He walked over to his desk and sat with his back to the door. Presently, Lupin walked out. Harry put his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands. This was too much. He wasn't even friends with the guy. They hardly even spoke. Again, he saw Malfoy's smile. He felt his heart tighten. It wasn't fair.

He heard footsteps nearing his room and looked up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a black shadow enter and his heart skipped as, for one heart-wrenching moment, he thought his godfather was behind him.

But he turned to see the cold, pale face of Professor Severus Snape.

"Mr. Potter," he sneered, "I had noticed that you and young Mr. Malfoy had called a sort of... truce... at Hogwarts. But it has recently come to my attention that perhaps your relationship is something... more?"

Harry looked at him, genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?" he spat.

Snape calmly raised an eyebrow and looked to the doorway where Lupin and Moody were standing. Lupin stared hard at Harry, studying his features. "It's not true," he said to Snape, still looking at Harry.

Snape returned his gaze to Harry. "Regardless, Mr. Potter, you would be wise to know that young Mr. Malfoy is not someone who can be trusted. He only acts to his own benefit, and that includes actions both toward the light and the dark side. You are advised not to let him... seduce you into thinking otherwise."

He regarded Harry for a moment more, and then turned abruptly and strode out the door. His footsteps receded, but Harry did not hear his voice again. Tonks and Angelina must have left. Moody and Lupin both stepped into the room.

"Potter," said Moody. "Perhaps you deserve an explanation."

"Uh, I think I got that," said Harry snidely.

"Harry!" said Lupin. "It's not that—"

"Look, can I just be alone right now?" Lupin and Moody were quiet. Harry knew he was scowling, so he tried not to look at either of them. He wasn't mad at them. How could he let them know that right now? "We'll start training tomorrow, okay? I just need some time right now."

He lay awake late into the night, thinking about Malfoy. All those years of being enemies, of hating him... Fighting with him on the Quidditch pitch... Malfoy smiling at him just this afternoon... Malfoy smiling... Malfoy writhing in pain... Because of Harry... Writhing in pain because he was attracted to Harry.

XIXIX

Harry spent the next day, and every other day of the break except Christmas, studying Defense Against the Dark Arts with Lupin, Tonks, and Moody. Despite all he knew, he realized quickly that Moody was right—there was so much left to learn. He threw himself into these study and practice sessions, in part as a distraction from the memories of Sirius that lived in the house.

At night, various members of the Order would gather at the house and work on strategy for their battles against the Death Eaters. They were compiling a list of probable and definite Death Eaters—people to watch and to watch out for. This was often disheartening work. Even as the Order's membership grew, the Death Eaters ranks similarly grew in number.

The Order's members would spend long hours debating ways to contain and reveal Death Eaters, and ways to protect the wizarding and muggle publics. Often these debates would lead to long tangents of complaint against the Ministry of Magic for their lack of help to the Order, but someone would always remind the bitter group of Dumbledore's words that the Ministry was all politics, and so long as it remained against Voldemort, the Order was to continue to support it. No one liked these reminders, but everyone would grumble agreement.

On Christmas day, Harry and Professor Lupin made their way by floo powder to the Burrow to spend the day celebrating with the Weasleys. Hermione was spending the holiday with muggle relatives, which Ron, Ginny, and Harry were all disappointed about. Mr. Weasley hinted quietly to Harry that he had attempted to get an invitation to spend the holiday with Hermione's family so he could learn more about how muggles spent the holiday, but Mrs. Weasley would have nothing of it.

Fred and George came with a bag of brilliant gag-gifts. Mrs. Weasley scolded them for bringing such dangerous items to the Burrow, until she opened a package containing the black velvet cloak they had bought her. She pulled them into a tight embrace, gushing over how proud she was of them. Bill and Charlie Weasley were also at the Burrow to celebrate the holiday. Harry enjoyed talking with them about their adventures with work and with the Order in far countries. He hardly noticed Percy's absence, except for the few unopened gifts that sat hopeful of his arrival.

Harry realized as he left that night that that was the first full day he had been happy since he could remember. Even returning to his godfather's house didn't seem that bad. As Lupin slung his arm over Harry's shoulder and led him up to his bedroom for the night, Harry felt truly lucky. Between Lupin and the Weasleys, Harry felt like he had a family.

His mood remained somewhat lifted throughout the rest of the holidays, through the training, through the Order meetings—even the Order meetings Snape attended. He made up his mind before the break ended that he would have to talk to Malfoy as soon as possible upon returning to Hogwarts.

That chance came the morning after his return. The students were spilling into the Great Hall for breakfast, when Harry found himself walking not six feet from the Slytherin.

"Oi! Malfoy!" he called. He pushed his way through the crowd toward him, to be greeted with the old sneer.

"Sod off, Potter," he spat.

Harry looked at him, bewildered.

"I said, SOD OFF, you bloody prick!" Malfoy turned and made his way into the Great Hall, leaving Harry alone in the crowd, feeling like he had been slapped.

XIXIX

XIX

X

Author's note:

Cailin Malafe- Thank you! Please keep reading!

HPSlashfan4evr- Thank you! I'm trying to do something a little different than most Harry/Draco fics. Let me know if it continues to go okay.

Headphonetherapy- Thank you! And don't worry- plenty of angst to come. And I'll try to avoid the Astronomy Tower, just for you ;)


	3. Psychological Warfare

X

XIX

XIXIX "Psychological Warfare" XIXIX

By the end of the first week after winter break, Harry began to notice graffiti magicked onto the bathroom walls. The handwriting was never the same, but the message was.

_Harry Potter killed Cedric Diggory._

Students who tried found it exceedingly difficult to cover or erase the message, so it was often followed by responses stating that only an idiot would believe that; only an idiot would deny that You-Know-Who had returned.

Coinciding with the appearance of this graffiti was the new fad amongst the Slytherins of whispering "Cedric Diggory" whenever they saw Harry, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Ignore them, mate," said Ron, in an uncharacteristically calm reaction. "No one believes it. They're just trying to get to you."

It was working.

Harry began having nightmares again of the night Cedric died. He saw the green flash, and then Cedric dropped. He was bound, and then watched as his own blood participated in the resurrection of Voldemort.

After reliving this horrific event every night in fitful sleep, Harry never felt rested. He moved through the halls of Hogwarts in a consistently bad mood. He developed dark circles under his eyes so that he looked like he was scowling even when he wasn't.

"What gives, Harry? You look like the walking dead." Ginny sat down next to him in the Great Hall one day at lunch, dropping her books with a heavy thud on the seat next to her.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"If you're fine, then I'm Wanda the Wonderful. Come on, you can tell me. What's going on?"

Harry looked down at his untouched plate. He wasn't eating much lately either.

"He's upset that Malfoy's still a twit," said Hermione matter-of-factly, as she slid into the seat across from Harry.

Harry looked up angrily at her.

"You're not really?" asked Ginny, like she couldn't believe it.

"No, I'm not really," said Harry, glaring at Hermione.

"Yes you are, Harry. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You got your hopes up that the truce would last, because you're a decent person and you were willing to uphold it. But Malfoy's just not. There's nothing to be done about it."

"She's right, Harry. If you let yourself be disappointed every time Malfoy acts like an arse, you might as well just kill yourself now, rather than suffer a lifetime of depression." She and Hermione laughed. Harry faked a smile.

"But regardless, you need to eat more," said Ginny. "I don't know how you live, since you never seem to ingest any sustenance."

"And Ron tells me you're not sleeping either," said Hermione.

"Oh, does Ron tell you that now?!" demanded Harry.

"Yes, Ron told me—but everyone knows. You wake your roommates up at night with your nightmares, you know."

"Did you ever consider just getting a dreamless sleep potion?"

Harry threw up his hands. "Hey, what IS this?! Have you two appointed yourselves my new mothers or something?! I mean, give me a break!" He pushed his plate away and made to stand up.

"Harry, sit!" commanded Hermione.

"Or you're grounded!" added Ginny.

Then they burst into a fit of giggles. Harry slumped his shoulders and looked from one to the other, utterly bewildered.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," said Ron, clapping Harry on the back. "What's up with them?" he asked, motioning to the two giggling girls.

Harry shook his head. "No idea." Ron sat down on Harry's other side and looked up at Harry expectantly. Harry shrugged and sat back down.

Ron was still filling his plate when Professor McGonagall swept up to the table. "Mr. Weasley, Ms. Weasley, will you come with me to the Headmaster's office?" She looked troubled, and immediately the group's faces fell to anxiety. "And I suspect you two should come as well," she said to Harry and Hermione.

The four stood up from their unfinished meal and followed their Head of House to Professor Dumbledore's office in a cold silence.

Harry's heart was heavy within him. It felt like lead, beating slow, pounding in his ears. Something must have happened to someone, and the fact that Ron and Ginny were asked for first signified to Harry that it was one of the Weasleys.

They stood in front of a stone gargoyle while Professor McGonagall mumbled "Gummy Worms". The gargoyle swung aside to reveal the stairs to the Headmaster's office. The few seconds it took to mount the staircase seemed to Harry to last a lifetime.

"Please, have a seat," suggested Professor Dumbledore to the deathly quiet Gryffindors. "No one is hurt," he added.

The group let out a collective sigh, and each chose a squashy chair to sit in.

Dumbledore regarded them gravely. "But I am afraid that I have disturbing news. The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes shop on Diagon Alley was attacked and destroyed in the night. The Dark Mark was in the sky above it this morning. No one was hurt in the attack, since Diagon Alley was pretty well closed down, but I'm afraid your brothers' shop has been obliterated."

Ginny looked at Ron with a pained face. "Poor Fred and George. That shop was their dream."

"Why would they do that?" Ron shook his head. "Well, they're not going to keep the Weasleys down. Fred and George have to have enough in the bank to be able to rebuild."

Ginny agreed. "In a few weeks, it will be like nothing ever happened. Those dark sons of bitches wasted their time—oh, sorry, Professors." Ginny looked down, flushing bright red.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I'm sorry," he said with a smile, "But I don't speak French." Professor McGonagall, however, looked stern once again.

Harry was relieved that the news was no worse than it was, but something was troubling him that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Hermione spoke up. "Professor Dumbledore, sir? Why _did_ they do it? I mean, I'm thankful that was all they did, but destructive vandalism really isn't the Death Eater's, uh, style."

That was it. Harry turned to Dumbledore expectantly.

Dumbledore was grave once again. "That is very astute of you, Ms. Granger. And I'm afraid you have good reason to ask." He looked at Harry sadly for a moment before continuing. "A message was left among the ruins of the shop." He paused again, not wanting to say it aloud.

"What was it?" asked Ginny quietly.

"'For you, Harry Potter.' "

XIXIX

Harry felt as though someone was reaching into his chest and calmly squeezing his heart. There was pain all day long now—a mental pain that manifested itself physically. He was always tired. He was always nauseous. His body always ached. And his chest always hurt.

Several days after the attack at Diagon Alley, Angelina Johnson was attacked after a game. Angelina was caught off-guard, being in a semi-crowded area. She was not killed, and in fact, a crowd of very protective fans drove off her attackers. But she did spend four days in St. Mungo's Recovery Ward.

Again, a Dark Mark tainted the sky over the site of the attack, but this time, the words 'For you, Harry Potter' were in the sky with the mark. The picture of the Dark Mark with the message for Harry was splattered all over the Daily Prophet.

Even while she was in St. Mungo's, Angelina released a statement that she was good friends with Harry and supported him fully, especially if "those Death Eater morons" were going to attempt to defame him by placing his name next to that "disgusting symbol of idiocy."

Chuddley Cannons fans from all over similarly came out in support of Harry.

A week later, Oliver Wood was attacked. Two days later, Katie Bell. Each time the Dark Mark and the message marked the site of the attack.

Harry realized immediately that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were going after anyone who was at all close to Harry, and who was within their reach. Dumbledore protected the students at Hogwarts, so Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, as well as the rest of his classmates, were safe. However, graduated friends and members of the Order were now apparently at a higher risk of attack.

Because they knew Harry.

Harry requested that Professor Dumbledore assign members of the Order to guard Hermione's parents at all times. They were both muggles, and would not be able to protect themselves at all during an attack. It would be pretty low of the Death Eaters to go after them, but they had a history of attacking muggles, so Harry didn't put it past them. Dumbledore responded with a twinkling smile that it had already been taken care of.

Harry wondered if it would bother Hermione if he told her this, or relieve her. He opted to say nothing, figuring she was a very intelligent person, and may in fact have been the one to originally suggest it. If so, she had probably opted not to tell Harry so as not to hurt his feelings.

For Hermione's part, she took it upon herself to resurrect the DA, even though (or perhaps especially because) Defense Against the Dark Arts had been temporarily removed from the course requirements of Hogwarts.

Cornelius Fudge, with the aid of one Percy Weasley, had managed to pass legislation through the Ministry that the Defense Against the Dark Arts class would be suspended indefinitely while a Ministry Task Force reviewed the potential danger of the class. After reinstating Dumbledore as Headmaster last year, Fudge pulled Ministry control out of Hogwarts in all ways except this one.

Of the five Defense professors Harry had had in five years, two had been secret supporters of Voldemort, one had been a professional liar, one had been an ineffective teacher/spy planted by Fudge himself, and one, the only decent Defense teacher to date, had been Professor Lupin, a werewolf. Fudge was determined to discover if this class was a dangerous tool used by Death Eaters to get their hands on the students of Hogwarts. He was also determined to ensure that Dumbledore knew that, as Minister of Magic, Fudge had the upper hand.

The DA was Dumbledore's Army, a previously secret club founded last year when Fudge's spy threatened to ruin her students' chances of ever attaining Defense O.W.L.S. or N.E.W.T.S. by being such a dreadfully inept teacher. Harry taught the group Defense Against the Dark Arts, since he was the student with the most personal experience in the field.

Harry was not sure he wanted to again take on the extra pressure of ensuring that the 54 students who had expressed interest were trained for a fight against Death Eaters. But the way he saw, it needed to be done, and there was no one else available for the job.

At the first meeting, they decided to meet once during the week, and once on the weekend if possible. They reviewed a few simple defensive spells, but Harry spent most of the first day correcting wand work and explaining the mechanics of a good defensive stance during a duel.

He kept thinking of the night last year that he led members of the DA into a fight against full-grown Death Eaters. As he watched Hermione review the disarming spell, he remembered her lying on the floor. He remembered fearing she was dead. He remembered Sirius coming to his rescue. He remembered chasing Bellatrix LaStrange straight into Lord Voldemort. He remembered Dumbledore's showdown with Voldemort. He remembered Sirius falling through the curtain.

Harry found that holding the memories at bay so he could focus on the class was exceedingly exhausting.

As he left the Room of Requirement with the other members of the DA, Harry noticed a group of first year Slytherins huddled together down the hall. They looked harmless enough, but when Harry saw them, he had a very bad feeling. Exhausted as he was, he hardly slept that night.

XIXIX

The next day Harry walked into Divination with the full intention of lying down in the classroom-turned-night-forest and sleeping through Firenze's lecture. This would be easy to do without Firenze noticing, because as soon as his class began, he always looked up at the "sky", and didn't look back down again until the bell rang.

But just as Harry was beginning to get comfortable, he heard a most odious whispered drawl from about ten feet away. "Psst. Hey, Potter. Potter!"

A muffled chuckle told Harry that Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson were in on whatever Malfoy had to say to Harry. He kept his eyes closed, hoping he looked like he was already asleep so that Malfoy would just leave him alone.

"Potter!" Malfoy hissed. "Potter, wake up! I have a message for you—Christopher Billings says that he has something... For you, Harry Potter."

'Shit, shit, shit,' thought Harry. 'It can't have started here, too.'

His blood ran cold, knowing that some Slytherins, possibly even sixth year Malfoy, had attacked the third year Gryffindor who was both on the Quidditch team and a new member of the DA. Harry tried to hold in his trembling, tried to keep Malfoy from knowing he had gotten to him—in _any_ way.

He lay with his eyes closed all during Divination class, neither sleeping nor absorbing any of Firenze's ambiguous words. As soon as the bell rang, he yawned and stood up groggily, pretending for Malfoy's sake to have been asleep the whole time. But when he stepped out into the hall, he pulled Ron aside.

"We've got to find Christopher," he said. "The Slytherins have attacked him."

Ron and Harry hurried through the halls, gathering more and more DA members in their search party as the minutes passed. Someone finally found him in the corner of an abandoned classroom of the North Tower. He was unconscious and covered with painful lacerations. His wand had been snapped.

XIXIX

Madam Pomfrey said Christopher would be okay, but he would need to stay in the infirmary for a day or two. Harry visited him as soon as he was conscious again, with a large bundle of pastries from the house elves in the kitchen.

"Who was it?" he asked the bedridden Christopher.

"Harry, I really don't know. I was walking to class. I thought I was alone in the hall, but then I heard a voice behind me and I felt my skin opening up all over me. The pain was awful. I... I don't remember anything after that."

"You didn't fight back? But your wand was snapped."

Christopher shook his head angrily. "They must have done it after I passed out."

Harry was shaking with outrage. He didn't want to, but he had to say it. "Christopher, this was because of me, you know. I'll understand if you want to resign from the team and from the DA." He couldn't even look Christopher in the eye as he said it.

But Christopher would have no part of that. "Harry, Quidditch is my life. And as far as the DA goes—this is exactly why I need it. You're not kicking me out, are you?!"

Harry looked at the boy sitting in the hospital bed with pink streaks across his face where new skin was growing. His fists were clenched and his face determined. Harry had to smile. "Of course not, Christopher. I just meant—"

"Forget what you meant. I'm not dropping out and that's final!"

Madam Pomfrey rushed in to see what all the commotion was, and commenced with shooing Harry out so that Christopher could rest. Harry let her, but not before leaning over to Christopher and whispering to him that he had asked Dobby, a House Elf friend of his, to pay a visit to Christopher and make sure he had everything he wanted while he recovered. Christopher smiled and said slyly, "See? You're worth keeping as a friend."

XIXIX

"They attacked him from behind?!" screamed Ron in the Gryffindor common room. "And THEN snapped his wand?!

Outraged voices called for blood. The Slytherins were not going to get away with this.

Harry sat back and quietly stewed while the entire Gryffindor House minus one debated over what needed to be done to avenge Christopher. It was only a matter of time before the conversation turned back to him.

This _was_ because of him, after all.

He sat angrily, listening to the crowd scream its indignation. He prepared his defense for when the time came for him to speak again. He prepared to offer his blessing to anyone who wanted out—out of the DA, out of any association with Harry at all. He prepared for when all of the fury boiling in the room turned on him.

But he never got a chance to express all the things he was prepared to express.

"Why Christopher, anyway?" shouted out a third year. "He doesn't have any enemies—not even in Slytherin."

"They're trying to get to Harry," said Neville. "It's the same as that Dark Mark crap that's been going on." There were murmurs of assent. Harry silently cursed Neville for being the one to bring up his name.

"Well, if they were trying to get Harry, they have really bad aim," said Ginny. A few people laughed. Harry was glad to hear Ginny try to diffuse the situation for him.

"It doesn't matter the reason they attacked Christopher," said Colin Creevy, sticking up for Harry, whom he adored. "They attacked him, and we need to get them back!" His words were greeted by yells of agreement. Harry thought for a second that he might be off the hook after all. Then Hermione stepped forward and said the last thing he would ever expect her to say.

"But it DOES matter the reason," she stated firmly, quieting the room. Harry's heart began to pound. "It matters for several reasons. Firstly, if Christopher was attacked because of someone's vendetta against Harry, then it's even worse than if his own enemies attacked him. And the fact that the vendetta is probably an offshoot of—let's face it—_Lord Voldemort's_," almost everyone winced or groaned at the name, "Makes it a million times worse!"

"These guys are sucking up to their Death Eater parents with this attack!" shouted someone in the back. The Gryffindors roared in anger.

"But another thing," yelled Hermione over the crowd as the volume slowly died back down. "If they attacked Christopher to get to Harry, then we have every reason to believe that more attacks will occur against anyone who is associated with Harry." The volume in the room rose again. Hermione yelled over them. "That's the Quidditch team, the members of the DA, and EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM!"

Voices trailed off as everyone in Harry's House looked at each other, realizing they were all potential targets.

"We can be fairly sure," continued Hermione, "That Christopher was attacked by a person, or people, older than himself. I don't mean to offend any of the younger Gryffindors, but the curse he was hit with is fairly sophisticated and requires a stronger amount of magic than any third year could have." The room murmured their agreement. "If the attacks continue, no one should expect a fair fight. This means that no member of Gryffindor House should be alone until this is sorted out. And, I think Harry will agree, members of the Quidditch team and the DA may want to be especially careful for now."

The Gryffindors looked around at each other, talking, planning on who would walk with whom where. Ron yelled over the crowd, "And in the meantime, we need to figure out who the bastards were that attacked Christopher!"

"And what we're going to do to them," someone else yelled.

"For that part, Ron, I think you and I should cover our ears," said Hermione.

"Why?"

"We're prefects. We shouldn't know if people in our House are planning on attacking other students."

"Um, in that case, maybe you should also close your eyes so that you don't know if I'm involved or not."

"Well then, maybe you should, too," said Hermione with a sly grin.

Neither of them did.

Harry stood up and hugged Hermione long and hard. Ron and Ginny both tried to pretend they weren't watching.

XIXIX

Word of the planned precautions spread to the rest of the DA before breakfast the next morning. It was Saturday, and many of the Gryffindors and other members of the DA spent the morning searching the site of Christopher's attack for clues, and pumping Slytherins for information about who perpetrated the attack.

The morning's efforts produced no leads. The Slytherins were all tight-lipped about the attack. They each feigned ignorance. Harry was disappointed, although he hadn't expected more.

Throughout the day, three more DA members were attacked—two Gryffindors and one Hufflepuff. Each one was attacked from behind while they were alone. By the DA meeting on Sunday afternoon, not a single member of Gryffindor House or the DA could be found alone in the halls.

The meeting began on a sour note. People were angry that their friends were being attacked. They were angry that no one knew for sure who was attacking them. Harry couldn't blame them for this. He was angry too.

"We _know_ Malfoy's behind it, even if he's not the one doing it—we need to get him!"

"That's impossible—he's always surrounded by his Slytherin toadies. We should just start attacking Slytherins at random, the way they're attacking DA members at random."

"That would make us no better than them," said Hermione.

"Well they started this fight, and I'm sick of being the 'better man' here," yelled Seamus.

"And I'm sick of walking around the halls in groups, like I'm afraid to be alone," said Ernie MacMillan haughtily. "We shouldn't have to be afraid here—we're at Hogwarts!"

"Don't think of it as a show of fear," said Ginny. "This is a show of strength. No one can beat us. The DA's too strong! And we're sticking together!" A few yells of agreement rang out.

Harry stood before them. "In the meantime, there are too many people here for me to teach as a single group. Especially now that we've got wee little Death Eaters roaming the halls," A few people laughed at his mocking tone, "We've got to raise the speed and intensity of our training. I want every third year in this room to be able to put up a fight against any sixth or seventh year low enough to attack them."

He split them into nine groups of six—holding a place for Christopher when he returned—and assigned a veteran member of the DA to lead each group. He gave his instructions to the entire group, and then walked around, monitoring their progress, but relying heavily on the group leaders to give more personal instructions to each dueling pair.

Training was going much faster than Thursday night, when Harry had tried to monitor and correct all 54 members by himself. The group was quickly mastering the silencing charm they started the night with. Harry was working with Ron's group when he noticed that the room seemed to go quiet all at once, rather than fading in and out. He looked up to see Professor Dumbledore standing in the doorway with a very grave look on his face.

"Good afternoon, sir," said Harry, walking forward.

"Excuse the interruption. Harry, may I speak with you?"

"Of course." He turned back to the DA. "Continue to work on the silencing charms while I'm gone." He followed Dumbledore into the empty hallway and closed the door behind him. "What's wrong?" he asked, deciding to get right to the point.

"Harry, Remus Lupin was attacked this morning while on duty for the Order. He's alive, but he's in very serious condition at St. Mungo's."

"I understand, sir."

They spoke for several minutes more, but Harry couldn't remember anything beyond those three words. He felt hollow inside—a shell of a person. "I understand, sir" kept echoing through him.

I understand, sir, that Lupin took on this risk to work with the Order.

I understand, sir, that the healers at St. Mungo's are doing everything they can for him.

I understand, sir, that you're here for me.

Did they talk about those things? Harry couldn't remember. He was blank. He showed no emotion.

I understand, sir, that I may lose my third father in this lifetime.

Harry kept repeating this in his head. And he _couldn't_ understand.

When he came to, he was sitting on his bed and Ginny was talking to him.

"Harry? Are you okay?"

_Blank. He felt nothing._ "Why aren't you at the meeting?"

"Harry, that was two hours ago. Everyone's at dinner now. I came to check on you."

_Empty. He was hollow._ "I'm fine. Go to dinner."

"What's wrong?" She sat on the bed next to him and studied his face. "Who is it?"

_Shell. He was alone._ "Professor Lupin." Tears began to stream down his face. He didn't notice them. "They don't know if he's going to make it."

"Oh, Harry," whispered Ginny. She wiped the tears away with her fingertips. Harry turned to her. She wrapped her arms around him and he curled into her, his head on her shoulder. And he cried.

I understand, sir, that I may lose my third father in this lifetime.

XIXIX

XIX

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Author's note: Sorry for the cliffhanger. The chapter told me it wanted to end here. I had to respect its wishes, even though I had had different plans. And thank you for reading! I really thought my only readers would be my friends who were reading to be polite. I appreciate your Draco's being Draco. You know how it is. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Marilyn,MyBitterness- Hope it gets better! Thanks for the sodomy, and for reading ;)

HPSlashfan4evr- Thanks for coming back! I hope you continue to enjoy it. I want to get things very intense. Happy reading!


	4. An Oath Bound in Blood

A/N: I fixed a few misspelled names. I know it's a minor problem, but I'm anal, what can I say? Please continue to scout out errors for me, since I don't have my HP books with me and can't reference them myself. More at the end of the chapter. Enjoy!

X

XIX

XIXIX "An Oath Bound With Blood" XIXIX

Harry was open.

He was a swirling mess of anger and grief and helplessness and fear.

He wished he could push everyone away. He wished he could shut himself down. He wished he could turn it all off, or at the very least, take a break from everything for a day.

He sat at breakfast amongst his quiet and grave-faced friends, staring at his plate, wishing he could eat. Stress played itself out in Harry's body as restlessness and nausea. Lack of sleep and proper diet made him weaker, more susceptible to stress. This couldn't last. Harry was nearing his breaking point.

If for only a day everything would cease to exist... if for only a day he could be just a normal sixteen year old, with normal worries... if for only a day he could not care about the world around him... then, maybe, he would be ready to face the reality of the life of Harry Potter.

As it was, he walked into the Great Hall this morning to the sound of Slytherins whispering, "Cedric Diggory". The owl post had brought no news from Lupin. The front page of the Daily Prophet showed another picture of the Dark Mark with the message, "For you, Harry Potter," above the site of Lupin's attack. And, Harry realized with a swear, he had not finished his Potions homework.

Harry rested his head in his hands, his elbows on the table. Ginny placed her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. "I'm fine," he growled.

"Harry, just shirk off Potions today," said Ron. "Snape's going to find some way to give you detention anyway. You may as well earn it by catching up on some sleep."

Harry smirked at the appealing idea, but then shook his head. "No, I gotta do something. This waiting is horrible."

"You'd rather go to Potions?" asked Hermione, disbelievingly.

"You'd rather I cut class?" asked Harry, mockingly.

"Well, no, I—" Hermione narrowed her eyes, looking at Harry's weakening form. "Well, yes, actually. I think you should cut class." Ron's jaw dropped. Hermione ignored him. "Really, Harry, you have to take care of yourself."

_There's too much else for me to take care of._

"I said I was fine."

He got up to head to Potions. His friends jumped up to follow him. Within seconds, a knot of DA members were also with him. This happened often now. Harry noticed they all had looks of pride on their faces. Apparently, they had taken Ginny's words to heart and were showing off the DA's strength. Ginny was a good leader, he thought. The DA had several good leaders.

The group slowly dropped off by twos and threes as people made their way to their own classes. Finally, Harry, Hermione, and Ron rounded the corner to the dungeons corridor. A few Slytherins were already waiting outside the classroom. They began whispering "Cedric Diggory" as soon as they saw Harry.

Harry saw Malfoy look up gleefully, and he turned away. 'I'm not really here today,' he thought. 'I'm shirking off class, and then came anyway, just for a distraction. It doesn't matter what Malfoy or Snape do because I'm not really here.'

He was beginning to calm with thoughts of non-existence, but then a slow drawl made its way through to his consciousness.

"... they're dangerous. Personally, I think all werewolves ought to be exterminated." Hermione and Ron were both holding onto Harry, who had clenched his fists and was struggling toward Malfoy. He could feel his blood running hot. He could taste it.

Malfoy looked at him and continued. "But we shouldn't just kill them. That's too good for them. We should put them in pins first, and slowly torture them to death."

Harry saw red and broke free from his companions, completely unaware of what he was doing. He tackled Malfoy, slamming him onto the cold stone floor, pounding his fists into the Slytherin. Crabbe and Goyle both tried to grab Harry away from their leader, but Harry reared back and socked them both in the face. They fell back, startled and bloodied. Malfoy took the opportunity caused by the break in his attack. When Harry turned back to him, he was ready. He decked Harry in the face with all his might. Harry fell backward and Malfoy rolled on top of him. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the Gryffindor, opened his mouth and—

"POTTER! MALFOY!"

The two looked up from their brawl, jolted by the impossibly loud shout from the Potions Master. Professor Snape swooped down on them, fury in his eyes. Behind him stood Professor Dumbledore.

"What is the meaning of this?" yelled Snape.

"Professor, he attacked me!" whined Malfoy.

Harry looked up at him. Malfoy was still on top of him, holding him down with one hand, pointing his wand at Harry's face with the other. He could use this to his advantage.

"_I_ attacked _you_?"

Malfoy flushed and lowered his wand quickly. He untangled himself from Harry and stood up. Harry remained on the floor, doing his best to look hurt.

"He attacked Crabbe and Goyle, too!" shouted Malfoy, realizing how pathetic he looked and sounded, standing between the two largest sixth years, and claiming the skinny boy laying wounded on the floor had attacked and overcome the three of them.

"I see," said Snape with a sneer. "Misters Crabbe and Goyle, go the infirmary to take care of your injuries. Mr. Potter, twenty points from Gryffindor and a detention for starting fights in the hallways." Dumbledore cleared his throat just slightly. Snape sneered, and paused for only a moment before continuing, "And Mr. Malfoy, a detention for you as well."

Malfoy was seething as he stalked off toward the infirmary. Snape ushered the class into the dungeon, except for Harry, whom Dumbledore held aside.

"Yes, Professor?" Harry stared at his feet. The fight and the accompanying adrenaline rush had temporarily distracted Harry from his greater worries. Expecting to be lectured on fighting, he was greatly surprised when Dumbledore spoke.

"He's going to be okay, Harry."

"Who, sir?" Malfoy? Harry looked up in confusion.

"Remus Lupin," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. Harry felt a rush of emotion as everything came back to him. Relief washed over him as he realized what Dumbledore was saying to him. "He'll be in St. Mungo's for quite awhile, but he is expected to fully recover."

Harry slumped back against the wall, taken by exhaustion.

"Harry, are you okay?"

Harry nodded. "Just tired, sir."

"Of course. Why don't you take the morning off to catch up on some sleep." Harry looked up at Dumbledore's twinkling eyes that were studying his own. "But perhaps you should stop by the infirmary to see Poppy first."

Harry nodded, and walked away. But as tired as he was, he opted to skip the infirmary, and headed straight to his dormitory.

XIXIX

Harry was shaken awake. "Come on, mate, wake up."

Harry looked around groggily. "Hnn? What? What time is it?"

"Dinnertime," said Ron. Harry sat upright.

"What?"

"We couldn't wake you at lunch, so we made an executive decision that you should skip all of your classes for the day," said Ron happily.

"But—" Harry reached for his glasses.

"Don't worry. Hagrid and McGonagall both pretended not to notice you were gone. I wanted to let you sleep longer, but Hermione and Ginny made me come wake you for dinner." He cut Harry a look. "I have to warn you, though, they're cooking up some scheme to make you eat tonight. I don't think it'll be painful or anything, but..."

Harry rubbed his stomach. It let out a soft growl. "Thanks, mate. But I don't think that'll be a problem tonight... Did you hear about Lupin?"

Ron grinned. "Yeah, it's great, huh? Hagrid told us before class started. He reckons Dumbledore might let you visit him this weekend."

They made their way down to the Great Hall, and found places saved for them. Ginny and Hermione had saved a seat for Harry between them. As a joke, Ron tried to take it. They both glared at him until he backed away and sat next to Dean. Harry fought back a laugh. He sat down and declared, "Merlin, I'm starving!" and began to load his plate. The girls at his sides watched him, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Harry broke out laughing.

"Alright, Harry?" Christopher Billings slid into the seat across from him.

"Christopher! I didn't think you were ever going to get out!"

"Me neither. On Friday, Madam Pomfrey said I'd be there a day or two. This afternoon, I finally had to demand she let me leave." He paused and narrowed his eyes at Harry. "Did you really bust up Malfoy, Crabbe, _and_ Goyle?!"

Harry laughed again. At the time, he was just reacting in anger, but when put that way, it sounded so... cool... and satisfying.

Christopher laughed and slammed his hand on the table. "Oh that's great! You should have seen them—whining like babies, they were. But, man, are they pissed at you!"

"Speaking of which," said Hermione, "Snape says your detention is tonight."

Harry groaned, but then shrugged. "Whatever. I'm not going to let even _that_ ruin my mood."

XIXIX

That night, Harry made his way down to Snape's dungeon classroom with Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Ginny at his side.

Malfoy was waiting outside the classroom with Crabbe and Goyle.

The two groups stood glaring at each other from opposite ends of the hall until Snape strode around the corner, robes billowing.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," he said, "Detention is not a social event. Potter and Malfoy, in my classroom! The rest of you, back to the dormitories!" The Gryffindors lagged a moment. "Now!" he barked.

Harry had a feeling his friends were only a hallway away. Hermione had assured them (although Ron fervently disagreed) that no harm would come to Harry while he was in detention with Snape, but they could not be sure about his trips to and from, so the group appointed themselves to accompany Harry.

Harry smiled to himself as he looked from Malfoy's sneering face, to Snape's sneering face. Everything seemed so comical all of the sudden.

"Find something amusing, Mr. Potter?" asked Snape coldly.

"No sir," Harry responded, trying to pull the smile back inside.

"Indeed. Your punishment is to inventory my supply closet. I am running low on numerous ingredients, as well as completed potions that I keep in store. You two are to make note of which ingredients, as well as which completed potions need to be restocked. You will also make note of the ingredients for each completed potion I need. You may use your text books for reference..." Snape looked at Harry impatiently. "Am I correct in assuming that your friends neglected to tell you to bring your current and past Potions text books with you to detention?" Harry nodded. "Very well. An additional fifteen points from Gryffindor, and you may share Mr. Malfoy's books."

Harry could sense Malfoy smirking next to him. He held Snape's eye in defiance, a smile playing in his own eye. He dropped his Occlumency shields for a moment. 'Lupin's okay,' he thought. 'You can't break me.' Harry was sure he saw Snape catch the thought.

"I'll be in my office if you have any questions. Detention is over when you are finished with your task." With that, he stalked out of the room.

"What are you smiling at?" spat Malfoy.

"Nothing. Just in a good mood." Malfoy glared at him. Harry smiled even bigger. He felt like laughing at the guy. "Shall we?"

Malfoy's eyes flickered uncertainly as Harry stood grinning like a fool. But then he seemed to strengthen his resolve of hatred. He walked to the storeroom, knocking Harry with his shoulder.

Harry wanted to laugh. This whole 'smiling' thing was really bugging Malfoy. The way he figured it, he now had a moral obligation to smile for as long as detention lasted.

He went into the storeroom, a big grin on his face. Malfoy was looking over the shelves to determine where to start. Harry stood smiling next to him. Malfoy glared up at him and muttered something, but Harry was too busy enjoying himself to catch it.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Harry asked, grinning.

"I said, you start over there on the top shelf," snarled Malfoy.

Harry beamed. "Okay!"

He walked over to one side of the storeroom, Malfoy the other. It was a small room—no bigger than a large walk-in closet. There were five rows of shelves. The top shelf was a few inches over Harry's line of sight. When he reached up to inventory the wolfsbane, his robe rattled a few bottles on lower shelves.

He stepped out of the supply closet and pulled his robe over his head. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt underneath. He felt his t-shirt slide up his back as he pulled his robe off. When he turned around, Malfoy was watching him.

"Taking you clothes off for me, Potter?" he asked, with a devilishly sly smirk.

Harry's smile faltered for a second.

"Oh, so _that's_ what this is about," said Malfoy knowingly.

Harry gave him a smug smirk. "Quit talking out of your arse, Malfoy." He walked back into the storeroom and reached up to inventory the top shelf. He didn't hear Malfoy move at all, so he looked over his shoulder.

Malfoy was looking him up and down, appraising him. He caught Harry's eye. "Where's your smile now, Potter?" he asked smoothly.

Harry wanted to grin at him, regain the upper hand, but Malfoy was walking toward him, dripping with seductive poison. Harry turned around and faced the blonde, who stepped into his space. They were breathing the same air. Harry could feel Malfoy's body heat. Malfoy leaned forward and whispered into Harry's ear.

"Well, Potter, it seems I finally know what you want from me..." Harry moved his head away slightly. "Why you're always watching me..." Harry could feel Malfoy's breath in his ear, on his neck. "Why you're always... coming... to me, looking for a fight." He turned slightly so that he brushed up against Harry, pulled back just enough to look him in the eye. "Is this what you want, Potter?" he whispered in a slow, seductive drawl.

Harry's heart was pounding. He didn't know what to do. His mind was telling him that Malfoy was a prat, but his body was telling him something entirely different.

He felt Malfoy's right hand touch his left hip and snake its way under his shirt. The touch startled Harry, who jerked, swinging his left shoulder back into the shelf behind him. One of the jars toppled forward, its top falling to the floor with the small sound of breaking glass. The contents of the bottle emptied, several drops landing on their arms.

Both of the boys stared at the drops of clear potion on their arms for a moment, horror-struck. Harry half expected his arm to melt away.

With sudden motion, Malfoy grabbed a rag nearby and wiped the potion from his arm. "What is it?!" he demanded.

"I don't know!" said Harry, taking the rag and wiping his own arm clean.

They looked to the shelf, careful not to step in the spilled liquid, or touch any more of it until they knew what it was.

"Oh shit," said Malfoy.

"What?"

"Veritaserum."

"But we didn't drink any!"

"It seeps through the skin. Its effects will be muted, but we might tell each other anything!"

They stared at each other, wide-eyed, as it soaked in who it was they might spill their secrets to.

Harry might tell Malfoy anything. Malfoy might tell him anything.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why did you break our truce after winter break?" Harry gasped. He hadn't meant to ask that question out loud.

"My father and the Dark Lord tortured me for befriending their enemy." Malfoy slapped his hand over his mouth.

"How did they know?"

"How do you think?! Crabbe and Goyle told them!"

Harry looked at Malfoy with serious concern. "I'm sorry. I had wanted to talk to you about that, but you told me to sod off."

"You wanted to tal—How did you know about it?" asked Malfoy angrily.

"I saw it happen in a dream." 'And then Snape confirmed it,' thought Harry. Well at least he had a little control over what he said out loud.

"I thought Snape was supposed to have fixed that by now," said Malfoy. Then he slapped both hands over his mouth.

"How did you know about _that_?" asked Harry.

"Mhie hahzzrr tuhll ee affr a dheff eerr mheetn," said Malfoy through his hands. Harry tried act like he hadn't understood that Malfoy said, 'My father told me after a Death Eater meeting.' Knowing full well that Snape was a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, he didn't think if would be a good idea for he, Harry Potter, to ever have reason to "suspect" Snape might be a Death Eater. Things would just get too complicated.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then something clicked in Harry's brain. "Wait, did you say your _father_ tortured you too?" Malfoy nodded, both hands still firmly over his mouth. "But... he's your father!"

Harry was indignant.

Malfoy shrugged.

"You mean that wasn't even the first time?!" Harry was almost yelling.

Malfoy shook his head. Harry regarded him, breathing heavily in his anger. Malfoy looked scared. Of what? What Malfoy had just said? Of Harry?

Harry realized he had his fists clenched and that he was scowling at the blonde. Actually, he was scowling at Malfoy's father, but he was looking at Malfoy while he did so. He opened his hands and softened his demeanor.

"It's not always because of me, is it?"

Malfoy shook his head and lowered his hands enough to say, "No... not always."

_'Just sometimes'_ seemed to echo unspoken in the room. Harry hung his head, and then looked up at Malfoy. "Look, I'm really sorry about that." Had he meant to say that? Harry couldn't tell at the moment.

Malfoy glared again. "What do you care, Potter?"

Harry focused. This guy had hurt him too much. "About you, personally? Not a whole lot, actually." Malfoy winced. "But I sympathize with your situation. Growing up with the Dursleys was hell on earth. My cousin and his friends would beat me almost daily. My aunt and uncle would lock me in a cupboard, and in fact, the cupboard was my bedroom until I was eleven... and I'm going to stop talking now."

"They locked me in the dungeon for days, Potter. They did Crucio and Imperio on me until I couldn't stand it. They said they'd kill me if I ever slipped again."

"Shit, Malfoy. How can you support Voldemort when he does things like that?"

"Voldemort's a mudblood who couldn't even overcome that fool of a wizard Dumbledore. I don't support him—I stay alive." Malfoy was shaking with anger. Harry couldn't tell if he was angry that he had admitted those things, or that Harry would ever have thought otherwise.

Harry was still trying to figure out just that when Malfoy caught him off guard. "Did the prophecy say that you are the only one who can bring down the Dark Lord?"

"Yes." Shit. The Order had gone to great lengths to ensure that Voldemort never knew what exactly the prophecy said. And Harry had just handed the information to Malfoy.

Malfoy smirked. "Now we both have secrets to keep."

Harry glared at him. "What are you playing at, Malfoy?"

"I can't have you telling people about my family, and especially not about my views of Voldemort. You can't have me confirm the words of the prophecy to the Dark Lord. So, from where I'm standing, there's only one solution to this dilemma."

"Which is?"

"A binding magical oath. We make an oath to keep secret this whole conversation and then seal it with our blood. I don't think even Voldemort could break that."

Harry looked at him. "You realize that he might try."

"Don't worry, Potter. I don't think he can."

"I'm not worried for me. As far as I know, he's already working on the belief that I'm the only one who can kill him. What the hell does it matter to me if he knows for sure?"

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want you to be—" Harry caught himself before he said too much. "I don't want _anyone_ to be tortured for me, if I can help it."

"Yeah, that's noble and all, but it's going to happen to me anyway." Harry felt an ache in his heart. He remembered his dream of Malfoy writhing on the floor in agony.

"I can't let you repeat those things I said, Potter," stated Malfoy, calmly, but firmly.

"Then let's make the oath."

XIXIX

They cleaned up the veritaserum and inventoried the store room. And once again, they talked. In their oath, they swore that they would never repeat to another person what the other had said during detention that night. Neither knew how long it would be until the veritaserum wore off completely, so they decided it was best to keep secret the entire detention, just in case.

With the oath behind them, Harry found that the pressure was off to maintain any pretenses with Malfoy. They talked about growing up in cold houses with families that didn't act like families. They talked about how Malfoy had secretly wished his father would stay in Azkaban when he was arrested last year, "But they'll never keep a Malfoy in prison." They talked about the history of the war, and the people who had been killed on both sides. They talked about Voldemort and his followers, who Malfoy swore were "okay really. It's not about good and evil. It's about power. Power, and fear." And they talked about each other, and how they could never be friends, "because I would chose to be _alive_ than to be friends with Harry Potter, any day."

And Harry couldn't argue with that.

He found his friends waiting for him around the corner, and they walked back up to Gryffindor tower without incident. Harry told them what he had to do for detention, and Hermione swore that Snape never said anything about his Potions textbooks. Harry said it was okay, that it wasn't really that bad, because the detention had kept him and Malfoy too busy to bother each other, but it really wore him out.

Harry laid in bed that night thinking about his conversation with Malfoy. At some point, his thoughts slipped into dreams. He was talking with Malfoy in the storeroom, but sometimes it was the Quidditch field, and sometimes it was the hallway outside Snape's classroom.

"It isn't always because of me, is it?" he asked.

Malfoy shook his head. "No... not always."

_Just sometimes._

"Look, I'm really sorry about that."

"What do you care?!" Malfoy decks him, and then roles on top of him. They're in the hallway fighting again. Malfoy pulls out his wand and aims it at Harry.

"It isn't always because of me, is it?"

"No... not always."

_Just sometimes._

"I'm really sorry about that."

"What do you care?!" Malfoy decks him and roles on top of him.

"I lied, Malfoy... I do ca—"

"I would chose to be _alive_ than to be friends with Harry Potter, any day."

Harry couldn't blame him.

"It isn't always because of me, is it?"

Malfoy decks him and roles on top of him. "Is this what you want, Potter?" he whispers in a slow, seductive drawl.

Harry reaches up to him. "I'm really sorry about that."

Malfoy smiles at him. They're standing on the Quidditch pitch, and then lying in the hall.

Malfoy roles on top of him. "Is this what you want, Potter?"

Harry reaches up to him, pulls him down.

"Yes."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N:

Marilyn,MyBitterness: Does that answer your question?

Schnuff: Thanks, please keep reading!

HPSlashfan4evr: Thanks for the compliment. Please, continue to enjoy!

See, Remus is okay. Everyone, thank you for coming back, and new readers, welcome! Please review. Thanks for your support!

Peace, kati


	5. Avoiding a Witch Hunt

A/N: Late disclaimer: I own everything in this story, because I am J.K. Rowling, ghostwriting for tangledhair. I decided I wanted to do a Harry/Draco slash, but I knew they wouldn't let me print it, so here I am at !

Damn it! Who am I kidding?! I own nothing! It's all hers!

(more at the end)

X

XIX

XIXIX "Avoiding a Witch Hunt" XIXIX

"Harry?"

Harry was sitting with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione in the library. He looked up from his book to find Luna Lovegood standing above him. She was looking around the room, as though wondering where she was, and why there were so many books. She always had a dreamy look in her eye, and Harry made a point to admire her for that. He smiled.

"Yes, Luna?"

"All these books and nobody ever bothers to read about the Giant Cricket Snakes of Transylvania," she said absently, to no one in particular. Harry's friends started to snicker. Harry glared at them.

"What are those?" he asked Luna with a friendly smile.

Luna's eyes widened as she looked at Harry. "They're a rare species of snake that have huge cricket legs that they use to pounce on their prey from long distances. My father tells me that sightings are getting closer and closer to England, and that everyone should wear a pink hat whenever they go outside."

Ginny scoffed and went back to her reading. Ron stared at the Ravenclaw in amazement, with his mouth hung open. Hermione opened her mouth to argue, but Harry kicked her under the table and asked, "Why a pink hat?"

"They jump to attack so they see their prey from above, and of course they don't like pink very much." Luna rolled her eyes, stating the obvious.

"Oh, of course," said Hermione sarcastically.

Ginny muffled her laughter. Harry nudged her angrily.

"Well, thanks for the warning, Luna." She looked around the room, lost in thought again. "Was... there something you wanted to ask?"

"Do you think the Room of Requirement will expand to accept more students?"

Harry shrugged. "Now that you mention it, it does seem bigger than it was last year."

"Good," she said, and wandered away.

Everyone stared after her except Harry, who promptly went back to reading as though nothing had happened.

"That girl is—" Ron began.

"—very nice, and a friend of mine," finished Harry without looking up.

"But she is a bit strange," said Ginny condescendingly.

Harry closed his book and regarded his friends quietly, a protective anger flowing though his blood. "She fought with us against Death Eaters last year. She didn't have a personal stake in the battle, but she went anyway. She deserves our respect."

He packed up his book bag. He was sick of people making fun of Luna because she was unusual. It even went so far that people stole her things and hid them from her. Ever since he found that out, he had made a point to be nothing but friendly to her.

"Harry, I didn't mean—" said Ginny, but Harry stood up and walked out of the library.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Hermione.

"Dunno," said Ron. "Maybe he's got a crush on her."

Ginny packed up her bag quickly and ran after Harry. She didn't get very far before she nearly tumbled over him. He was bent over the unconscious form of Luna Lovegood. Her skin was red and she was trembling.

"Ginny!" he pleaded. "Help me get her to the infirmary."

XIXIX

Word was out at school that members of the DA were being targeted for attack. That night, Harry expected far fewer members to show up at their meeting/training session. But a strange thing happened. The DA members had shown such camaraderie and "strength" by binding together that more people than ever wanted to join. Sixty-seven people were in the Room of Requirement when Harry began the lesson. He divided the new people into each group and explained the types and uses of shielding charms before they broke into their small groups to practice.

"Was this what Luna was talking about?" asked Hermione when Harry made his way to her group. Ten of the thirteen new members were from Ravenclaw. But even with the added bodies, everyone still fit quite comfortably in the Room of Requirement.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Harry dully.

"Did she see who it was?"

"No. She thinks they were hiding behind one of the statues in the hall. We've got to do something about this, 'Mione."

"I know. But unless we catch them in the act, I don't see how we're going to have any proof of who's doing it."

Harry cursed himself. He had talked to Malfoy under the influence of veritaserum for hours and it never once occurred to him to ask who it was that was attacking DA members. Not that he could have told anyone about it if he had asked. Maybe he could get that information from Malfoy if they talked again. But how could he talk to Malfoy again?

He was distracted throughout the DA meeting, thinking about this.

By morning, word was out at school that Harry Potter had a crush on Luna Lovegood, proven by how upset he was about her attack, proven by how distracted he was at the DA meeting. She awoke from her sleep in the infirmary to find her bed surrounded by candies and cards with best wishes from other members of the DA, none of whom would ever pick on her again.

XIXIX

Ginny walked Harry to the Hogwarts gates Saturday morning, where Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody waited.

"Wotcher, Harry!" called Tonks, as she saw the two students approaching.

Moody clapped Harry roughly on the shoulder in a slightly painful, but apparently friendly gesture. "Potter, how are you holding up?"

Harry shrugged. "How are we going?"

"We're taking the Knight Bus," said Tonks over her shoulder. She had gone to hug Ginny hello and was currently entertaining the redhead by changing her nose. "When do you need to be back?"

"Um, I have Quidditch practice after dinner. I don't really _need_ to be back until then."

"And your team will wait for you if your visit runs long," said Ginny to Harry. Then she dropped her voice and said to Tonks, "But if he's going to miss dinner, make sure he eats, okay?"

"I heard that!" Harry said accusingly.

Ginny grinned and bounced over to him. "Boy do you hate it when people care about you!" She flung her arms around his shoulders. "Give Professor Lupin this hug, okay?"

"Um, okay," said Harry awkwardly. When he turned to watch Moody flag down the Knight Bus, Tonks raised an eyebrow at Ginny, who smiled with a shrug.

There was a loud _pop_ and a double-decker bus appeared out of nowhere. The three loaded on, and with another loud _pop_, Ginny was left alone.

XIXIX

Lupin was asleep in his bed in the Recovery Ward of St. Mungo's when Harry walked in. Sitting by his bed were Bill Weasley and a very lovely young French woman with long silver hair that Harry recognized as Fleur Delacour.

Bill jumped up and extended his hand. "Harry! How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," said Harry automatically.

"Oo are very brave," gushed Fleur, much to Harry's embarrassment. "I 'ave been so afraid with zees attacks coming more and more. But I know I 'ave to join zee Ordair. We must all fight zis, zis—Dark Lord," she spat. "We must all stand behind zee great Harry Pottair."

Harry was flushed bright red at this point. Bill couldn't help but laugh. He loved the effect his half-veela girlfriend had on men, himself included.

Tonks came to the rescue of the embarrassed Harry by asking, "How's Remus?"

"Recovering," said Bill. "Slowly, but—he's getting better."

Harry went to sit in a chair beside his bed. "Is he going to wake up?"

In response to Harry's question, Lupin stirred. He blearily opened his eyes and smiled widely at the sight of Harry. He made to sit up, but winced in pain.

Harry immediately leaned forward in concern. "Are you okay? What can I do? Do you need anything?"

Lupin let out a weak, but genuine, laugh. "Yes, nothing, no. Well," he said as an afterthought, "If you could help me sit up, maybe prop me up against some pillows, I would have an easier time talking to you."

Harry promptly did so, as gently as he could. He was pained to see Lupin as weak as he was, but relieved he was still alive. "What happened, anyway?"

Lupin looked like he would rather not talk about it, so Harry immediately tried to change the subject, but Lupin waved him off. "No, no, I'll tell you everything. I made it through," he sighed, "And what doesn't kill us..."

"Lands us in St. Mungo's for a few weeks," finished Bill with a grin. Lupin smiled too.

"I was on a reconnaissance mission with Mundungus Fletcher, trying to locate what we think might have been a meeting place for Death Eaters who are working within the Ministry. Mundungus was supposed to be keeping watch while I checked it out. We had a series of signals worked out. But on his watch, he decided to slip himself a drink or two," said Lupin warily, "and meanwhile, a small group of Death Eaters in full shroud slipped by him." He shook his head. "He signaled me only just in time—almost too late. I dodged an Avada Kedavra, but was hit with a stunning spell and four Crucios, that somehow locked me into the spell. They apparently thought I fell from the Avada Kedavra because they sent up the Dark Mark and disapparated."

"What do you mean you were locked into the spell?" asked Harry, feeling nauseous.

"I mean, the wizards disappeared, but the pain didn't."

"But that's impossible!"

"I know. It was hours before the Healers could take it off." Lupin closed his eyes. Harry took his hand and squeezed it.

"So they've done something with the Cruciatus Curse to make it even worse? Merlin's beard! Only a Death Eater..."

"No kidding, Harry," said Tonks. "After so many hours under the spell, Remus' body was in a right state. It would take a powerful bit of magic to do what they did to a man as healthy as Remus. I mean, the combined force of four spells..." she trailed off.

"When I get my hands on Mundungus Fletcher," growled Moody.

"You'll do nothing to him at all," said Lupin. Harry looked at him in surprise. Lupin sighed, his eyes dark. "He's resigned from the Order and withdrawn in shame. Much as I would like to throttle the unreliable drunk, I'm sure he's punishing himself far worse than I ever could."

Bill shook his head. "You've got to be about a billion times more forgiving than me, Remus. I am amazed." Fleur agreed, and kissed Lupin on the forehead for it. Lupin flushed and looked at Harry.

"So, ahem, Harry, how have you been holding up?"

Harry scrunched up his face. _You're the one in the hospital._

"I'm fine," he said.

Lupin regarded Harry for a moment. He opened his mouth, but then seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. Harry looked up and realized everyone was watching him. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"So, what about the Death Eaters that did this?" he asked.

"They were in full shroud," said Moody. "We didn't get an ID on a single one of them."

"Do you have any suspicions?"

"Of course we have suspicions," said Bill. "And we suspect that they were all members of the Ministry. We just don't have enough evidence yet to prove it."

Harry opened his mouth and then closed it with a wry smile.

"What?" asked Lupin.

"I was just going to say, 'Why don't we go to Fudge with the evidence we have?' But of course, he'd never listen to us." The group laughed cynically.

"It's not just that," said Lupin. "One of Voldemort's greatest powers is his ability to divide people. The Ministry's already against us." Tonks cleared her throat. "Well, of course not everyone, Tonks, but so long as Fudge is the Minister he _will_ keep the Ministry from working with the Order. Now if we went in there and started accusing Ministry workers with insufficient evidence, it would cause chaos."

"Half the Ministry would ban together against the Order," said Tonks.

"And the other half would engage in, well, a 'witch hunt', accusing anyone of being a Death Eater for the slightest of reasons," agreed Harry. He had some experience with this recently.

"People have a hard enough time trusting each other as it is, and things haven't yet gotten as bad as they were the last time Voldemort was in power. If we can maintain some semblance of unity in the wizarding community, perhaps things never will."

Harry noticed that Bill scowled when Lupin mentioned unity. Fleur put a sympathetic hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. "'E will come around," she said sweetly.

Bill nodded, but barely concealed how upset he was. "Remus, we've got to get back."

"Of course, Bill. Thanks for coming to visit."

Bill patted Lupin's shoulder and said his goodbyes. Then he and Fleur left. Harry stared after them. "What—?"

"We think one of the Death Eaters that attacked Lupin is in Percy's department," supplied Tonks gently.

"In his department?" barked Moody. "Shares an office with the boy."

"Have they told him?!" asked Harry, alarmed.

"You know how things are with Percy right now," said Lupin. "He wouldn't believe us if we told him."

"Probably make a point to be friendly with the guy," said Tonks darkly.

"But we have to warn him," said Harry.

"It's no use right now, Harry," said Lupin.

Harry looked down. He didn't much like Percy after the way he had acted the past year, but he didn't want him to be in danger. Oh, Merlin— "Do Ron and Ginny know?"

Lupin shook his head. "I don't think Molly and Arthur told them."

Harry put his head in his hands. All these secrets...

Moody cleared his throat. Harry looked up. "Potter, we've got to get going. But we'll be back around four o'clock to pick you up, alright?" Harry nodded and the two Aurors left him alone with Lupin.

"Truthfully, Harry, how have you been?"

"I'm alright."

"Harry..." said Lupin warningly.

Harry avoided his eye. "I was really worried about you."

"But I'm okay. Tell me what else is going on." Harry shrugged, like there was nothing else. "I hear you've restarted Dumbledore's Army," said Lupin with an encouraging smile.

"That was Hermione, really, and anyway, now—"

"Now, what?"

"Well, it's kind of like what's going on with the Ministry. The DA is being targeted for attack in the halls, but we can't prove who it is, and we're trying to avoid a witch hunt, but half the group wants to just go ahead and start attacking Slytherins no matter if we have proof or not, and there's all this graffiti in the bathrooms about me killing Cedric, and the Slytherins are always saying his name whenever they see me, and then there's all this Dark-Mark-For-You-Harry-Potter shit, and my class load is killing me this year, and then there's this..." _crush on Malfoy_.

Harry shook his head in frustration and anger. He hadn't meant to let everything out like that. He felt weak, but when he looked up to Lupin, he was nodding seriously, and with sympathy.

"What are you doing about the DA?"

"Pretty much the same thing they advise to deal with the Death Eaters. No one in the DA's ever alone if we can help it. We're working on shielding charms now. They're really improving quickly now that I've got them divided into smaller groups and appointed more leaders. What?"

Lupin was smiling. "Nothing, it just sounds like Dumbledore's Army really is becoming one."

Harry considered this, and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

"What about the graffiti and the name-calling?"

"That's not going to stop. I just try to ignore it."

Lupin narrowed his eyes, but nodded. "And as far as the Dark Mark goes—you do know that there is not an intelligent witch or wizard out there who is going to turn against you because Voldemort says so, right?"

Harry smirked. "I guess so."

"I mean it, Harry. People seem to be of the mindset of 'Why won't they just leave him alone?' They're on your side. And I think they'll stand behind you when the time comes."

Harry looked away quickly. It was the closest they had come to discussing the prophecy since Harry had heard it last year. He wasn't ready, and he didn't want to talk about it until he was.

Lupin let the matter drop for the time being. "In the meantime, who do you have a crush on?"

Harry looked up at him, slack-jawed. He hadn't said anything about it. How did he know?

Lupin laughed. "I thought so. Come on, out with it."

"It's just someone at school." Harry could feel himself reddening.

"Who?"

"I don't know. It's kind of a complicated situation."

"Mm-hmm?"

"I don't think I'm ready to talk about it."

Lupin smiled. "Well, I'm here when you are."

They talked on into the afternoon. Harry went down to the cafeteria at lunchtime and got them some stoat sandwiches. Afterwards, the Healers had to take Lupin out for a little magical therapy. Lupin came back groaning. He said he knew it was good for him, but damn did it hurt.

At 4:00, Mad-Eye Moody walked in followed by Tonks, who was whispering something into Arthur Weasley's ear. Mr. Weasley was grinning.

"Remus! How are you feeling today?" asked Mr. Weasley.

"You know, every day a bit better," said Lupin.

"And Harry," he beamed, "How are you holding up?" Harry rolled his eyes. Why did everyone keep asking him that?

"I'm fine."

"Good. How's everyone else? How's Ginny?"

"She's fine," said Harry, oblivious to the looks the adults were trading. Tonks winked at Lupin, who thought he might now understand the "complicated situation" Harry had been talking about.

XIXIX

Quidditch practice was going well that night. Harry felt he had finally hit his stride as Captain of the Gryffindor team. He had to keep a fine balance, watching his team practice, and practicing himself by looking for the snitch. The Hufflepuff game was coming up in a matter of weeks, so the team was practicing harder than ever. It would be their last game of the year, and if they won, they were a shoo-in for the House Cup.

Usually when they practiced alone they would only release one bludger, but today they had both. It was a grueling practice, but the team was doing quite well with it.

Harry was zooming around in search of the snitch when he saw Ron reaching out to save the quaffle from scoring his left hoop. With his concentration on Ginny and the quaffle she was shooting toward him, he failed to notice the bludger flying straight for him. Christopher, the nearest beater, almost made it, but not quite.

Ron took the bludger in the shoulder, and spun sharply toward the earth, clutching his broom, and the quaffle. In his pain, he only managed to regain control of his broom just before landing. He hit the ground with a thud.

Harry sped to the ground with the rest of the team. Ron was in a heap, curled up around the quaffle, holding his shoulder.

"I caught it," he said weakly with a smile.

"Ron, you goof! Are you okay?" Ginny looked like she didn't know if she should hit him or take him to the infirmary.

"I'm okay. My shoulder's a little bunged up, though." He looked up at Harry, dazedly.

"We should probably call it a night anyway," said Harry. "Good job tonight, guys. Round up the bludgers and hit the showers. I'll get the snitch and—"

Swoosh!

The team looked up to see a streak of green overhead. Harry saw Malfoy reach out his hand and catch the snitch. He swerved around and headed back toward the other end of the field, where the Slytherin team was waiting for him. He dismounted his broom lightly, and the group strode toward the Gryffindors.

Harry took a deep breath.

Here it comes—the personification of all of his problems. Malfoy was the son of Death Eaters, the leader of Slytherin, as conniving as the worst of the politicians in the Ministry, and the schizophrenic bane of Harry's fantasies. In detention, he had been such a funny and intelligent and attractive person. Harry dreamed about that Malfoy every night now. And that Malfoy frustrated Harry to no end when he found himself having to deal with this Malfoy—the sneering, self-centered prick who delighted in making Harry's life miserable. Harry glared at him. Here it comes.

As they drew near, Malfoy held out the snitch in a taunting manner. "All this time out here, and you still couldn't find this thing?" he jeered.

Harry looked around quizzically. "What's that I hear?" He made a quick motion, as though grabbing the snitch out of the air right next to his head, reminding Malfoy of a time he had been too busy laughing at Harry during a game to notice the snitch was right by his ear.

Malfoy flushed, changed his tactic. "What's wrong with your keeper? Did the _poor_ bastard fall off his broom again?" The Slytherins snickered behind him. "This is the sorriest excuse for a team I've ever seen."

"We beat you, rich boy," said Ginny scathingly.

"No you didn't," drawled the blonde. "Professor Snape seems to be of the mind that someone put a hex on our chasers' brooms before the game with Gryffindor. We've called a rematch due to potential cheating. Now clear off the field, and let a real team practice."

"You can't do that!" said Ginny, stepping forward with her hands clenched into fists. Harry grabbed her and pulled her back.

Malfoy jerked his broom back behind him. "Stay away from my broom, you cheater!"

"Oh, sod off, Malfoy!"

"Potter, I'd tell that Weasel girl to shut up if I were you," Malfoy warned, motioning toward Ginny with the snitch.

Harry drew himself up, readying himself for a fight. But then he saw the snitch in Malfoy's hand. In a flash, he saw his dream of Malfoy on the field, holding the snitch, then smiling, and then writhing on the ground. Maybe Malfoy really didn't have a choice. But Harry did. He could get out of this without a fight.

He took a menacing step toward Malfoy. The Slytherin team leaned in, ready to pounce. Then Harry turned back to Ginny and said, "Shut up, Weasel girl!"

The Gryffindors regarded him for a second before bursting out laughing.

Malfoy was fuming. Harry went to Ron to help him to the infirmary. The Slytherins were calling the Gryffindors every name they could think of. Harry just waved and they kept walking, and kept laughing.

XIXIX

After his shower, Harry slumped into a chair in the common room with some homework. He was hardly paying attention to it, though. His thoughts were on Malfoy. He felt pretty good about mocking the guy, and while that was better than slugging him, he still wished for something else.

He stared at his book, thinking about the conversation they had had in the storeroom that night. He thought about Malfoy moving in on him, breathing on his neck. He thought about Malfoy smiling at him, and Malfoy going out of his way to be a total prat to Harry every day this week. He thought about Malfoy reaching under his shirt.

"Whatcha working on?" asked Ginny as she sat down in the chair next to Harry.

"Transfiguration," said Harry. Then he looked at his book. "Oh, no, I mean Potions."

Ginny laughed. "Come on, it's Saturday. Put that away."

"She's right, mate," said Ron, who had just gotten back from the infirmary. "You're going to turn into Hermione."

On cue, they heard a gleefully shrill "EEEeee!" coming from the stairs to the girls dormitories.

"What the—?"

Hermione bounded down the stairs with a piece of parchment in her hand. "Guys! I just got a letter from Victor! He's decided to join the Order!"

"That's great!" squealed Ginny.

"Yeah, great," mumbled Ron.

"He's coming to meet with Dumbledore on Valentine's Day weekend—he wants to know if he can see me."

"It's a Hogsmeade weekend!" squealed Ginny.

"Yeah, great," mumbled Ron.

"I have to go write him back!" And with that, Hermione bounded away.

Ron slammed his hand on the armrest of his chair. "Great! Hogsmeade with Vickie!" He got up and stalked out of the room.

Ginny rolled her eyes at Harry, who just shrugged and turned back to his book. He could understand how Ron was feeling. Malfoy's girlfriend Pansy Parkinson was always draping herself all over him. She wasn't right for him. She was completely lacking in personality. She wasn't even that good looking. Well, she kind of was, but she was still wrong for him.

"So," said Ginny, "Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

Harry furrowed his brow. "I don't know if Ron's going to want to go as a group," he said. "I mean, for safety's sake, I guess we should. They're as likely to attack someone at Hogsmeade as they are here..."

He looked up at Ginny, who was staring at him like he was extremely dimwitted. Harry shrugged, "Well, it's true. I'm gonna go check on Ron." He closed his book and headed upstairs.

Behind him, Ginny grabbed her hair in fists and fell over in her seat groaning, "Merlin's beard! That boy is impossible!"

Pavarti Patil looked over and smirked sympathetically. "No kidding. You remember the Triwizard Christmas Dance?"

Upstairs, Harry found that Ron had closed the curtains around his bed. He lay down on his own bed, drawing the curtains around him.

He stared up into the darkness and waited for his schizophrenic fantasy—Malfoy.

Here it comes.

XIXIX

XIX

X

Marilyn,MyBitterness- Well I'm glad you liked my answer! Thanks for coming back!

Wintermoon2- Thank you! And thank you for reading! And thank you for the tip on HP lexicon! Much appreciation, all around!

Kearie- Thanks for reading! Hopefully, you're talking about my poetic tendency toward sentence fragments, and not just things that I've missed. I am trying to clean fragments out of my stories for the most part, but sometimes they just work better. But please, point out the nit-picks, because as I have mentioned, I'm anal. ;)

Fantasy101- Thank you, and thank you for reading!

Fyre- Brilliant, eh? Oh my, flattery will get you everywhere! Thanks for reading, I do hope you continue to enjoy it!


	6. Hogsmeade With Vickie

A/N:

Kristin: Come on, girl. Chapter 6 is up. Put your head between your knees. Deeeeep breath. Deeeeep breath. :P

X

XIX

XIXIX "Hogsmeade With Vickie" XIXIX

"I was beginnin' ter think yeh'd forgotten 'bout me," said Hagrid as he opened the door to his house Thursday afternoon.

"Hagrid, we see you in class all the time," said Ginny, affronted.

"Oh, an' tha's the same as comin' ter visit, eh?" The group of Gryffindors looked at their feet guiltily. Hagrid smiled. "Well, come on in, then. I'll put the kettle on."

When they sat down, Fang ran over and put his head in Harry's lap. Harry laughed and rubbed Hagrid's giant boarhound behind the ears.

"So, Harry, how yeh been holdin' up?"

Harry rolled his eyes. That sure seemed to be the question of the week. "Fine."

Hagrid nodded. "Yeh look better, tha's fer sure."

"Yeah, now that he's started eating again," said Ginny. Harry cut her a look.

"And sleeping," agreed Ron. Then, noticing a glare from Harry, he said, "No offense, mate, but you were keeping us all up with those nightmares. Worse than Neville's snoring, even."

Ron then did an impression of Neville's snores that made everyone laugh.

It was true that Harry was eating and sleeping better. Lupin was recovering quickly at St. Mungo's, one of the teachers had apparently found a way to keep the bathroom walls graffiti-free, and the Slytherins were getting bored with their whispers, now that they didn't seem to be affecting Harry anymore. Keeping rested and well-fed seemed to be doing wonders for Harry's stress immunity.

"And I hear tha' Victor Krum has joined the Order," said Hagrid. "And tha' he's comin' ter meet with Dumbledore this weekend." Ron scowled into his teacup. "Are you goin' ter see 'em on Valentine's Day, Hermione?"

Hermione blushed, smiling, and said, "I'll see him on Saturday at Hogsmeade."

"Good, good. Now, who wants summat to eat? I got some pumpkin pastries."

The group politely declined, each one of them having had ample experience with Hagrid's cooking.

Hagrid looked slightly crestfallen. "Oh, come on—I bough' way too many at Honeydukes the other day."

Amazingly, upon hearing that the pumpkin pastries were from Honeydukes, the teens promptly realized that they were hungry after all. They ate their way through all of Hagrid's pumpkin pastries during their visit while Hagrid told them about how Grawp, his half-brother, was doing in the forest. He had stopped pulling up trees, but the Centaurs still didn't like him much. Dumbledore had helped Hagrid make peace with the Centaurs last summer, but their relations were still strained because of a certain Giant that lived among them.

When they left to head to dinner, they noticed a slight figure standing by the side of the lake alone. He had a camera with him, so the group recognized him immediately.

"Colin!" groaned Hermione. "What's he doing alone? No DA member..." she trailed off, realizing what exactly he was doing.

He was taking pictures of the lake view, but had somehow gotten the giant squid to _pose_ for the shots! It would raise and lower its tentacles as Colin called for. The four Gryffindors had to just stare for a moment.

Harry broke the silence, saying, "Ginny, can you go keep watch for him until he comes in for dinner?" She nodded and took off. "Guys..." Harry turned to his two best friends on Earth. "I, uh, have something to... ask. Well, not really to ask, but to say... I mean—"

"Harry, just say it," said Hermione with a slight grin. She was watching Ginny run down toward the lake, and had the strangest feeling that Harry had something to say about Ron's sister.

"Well, it's about Ginny," said Harry. Hermione's grin widened.

"What's about Ginny?" asked Ron, still captivated by Colin's effect on the giant squid.

"Isn't it obvious, Ron?" asked Hermione, just a bit impatiently.

Harry brightened. "You mean, you already knew?"

"Of course," she said.

"And you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"Well, I guess not mad—I just thought you two might be jealous, or offended, or something..."

"Hold on, mate," Ron interjected. "What are you talking about exactly?"

"About Ginny helping me lead the DA."

Hermione did a double take. "What?"

"I mean, um..." Harry was really nervous that he would say the wrong thing here. "You're both great wizards, but well, Ginny is too. And she really has a commanding presence with the group, and she's already like a leader among them—I mean, take the whole 'strength in numbers thing'—and I could really use help now that there are so many people—"

"Slow down, mate," said Ron. "Are you saying that you want Ginny..."

"To be your... second in command?" finished Hermione.

Harry looked at his feet. "Yeah...?"

There were a few seconds of silence before Harry looked back up at his friends. Hermione was gaping at him. Ron had a confused look on his face and was looking toward the lake at his baby sister.

'Shit, they're mad,' thought Harry.

Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to regain her composure. Finally, she managed to say out loud, "I think she's perfect!"

Harry brightened at her acceptance. "Really?"

"Yeah!" Hermione exclaimed, still looking bewildered.

"Yeah, I hadn't thought of it before," said Ron, still looking at Ginny, "But she is really powerful, and damn, half the school adores her." He shrugged, as though none of that had ever occurred to him before.

Harry was relieved, but he had to ask just to make sure, "You mean you're not mad that I didn't ask either of you?"

"Nah," said Hermione, trying really hard to act nonchalant.

"Harry, you know with school, and Quidditch, and being prefect, I really don't think I could take any more responsibility," said Ron.

Harry laughed. He was so relieved; he just laughed.

He asked Ginny to help him lead the DA when she came in to dinner with Colin. She agreed immediately, and then got onto Harry for not eating enough dinner.

"Ginny," he whined. "I had five pumpkin pastries at Hagrid's this afternoon."

She conceded the point, and actually, didn't eat much herself.

That night, 11 new people joined the DA. Harry divided the DA into two overall groups of 38 and 40. He subdivided each group into four groups of eight or ten, each led by a veteran DA member. He and Ginny explained the spells and hexes they would be working on that evening to their respective groups. The groups then broke into their subgroups, and then into pairs to practice. Harry and Ginny walked among them to offer further instruction to the groups and the individuals.

It was the most successful DA meeting to date.

XIXIX

Harry awoke the next morning, Valentine's Day, to find his bed decorated with pink paper hearts, each one containing a picture of his own face.

"Oh no," he groaned sleepily.

Ron sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He took one look at Harry's bed and fell over laughing. "Oh Merlin, Harry! I think Dobby's got a crush on you!"

"Shut up, Ron," said Harry, trying to rip down the hearts. "He's just... got an overdeveloped sense of gratitude, is all."

"No!" said Ron, still rolling on his bed laughing. "Don't take them down. Guys! Wake up! You gotta see this!"

Dean, Neville, and Seamus all grumbled from being ripped from their sleep so suddenly, but got over it quickly as they watched Harry do battle with the hearts. Dobby had apparently done some sort of magic on them so that they could not be taken down.

Harry's room mates offered suggestions through their laughter about how to remove the offending hearts, but none of them got out of their own bed to help. Watching was far more entertaining.

In the end, the boys headed to breakfast, consoling Harry that Dobby would probably only keep the hearts up for Valentine's Day.

"And anyway," said Ron, "That's not a bad picture of you. And pink's definitely your color." The boys exploded in laughter. Harry just shook his head.

When they got to their table in the Great Hall, Harry noticed a single white rose was lying on the table in front of the place he normally sat during breakfast.

'It can't be for me,' he thought. But then he saw a piece of sealed parchment attached to it that clearly read, "For you, Harry Potter."

Harry's friends were all staring, wondering who had left the rose for Harry. Harry shrugged. He certainly hadn't been expecting anything from anyone.

"Well, open it," said Ginny, just a little snappishly.

Harry did so, and quickly read through the short note.

_"I am haunted by phantom kisses,_

stolen hours, the feel of your flesh.

Perhaps at our next rendezvous

we can have more."  
  
Harry turned bright red. He knew that handwriting, or at least, he thought he did. After six years at this school, they had been paired up in class more than once. He had seen class notes, written assignments, even homework. But was this actually the same handwriting, or did Harry just want to believe it?

He looked up and across the hall to the Slytherin table, and saw a very beautiful and seductive smile waiting for him. They held eye contact for a second or two, no more. Harry was then certain beyond doubt that Malfoy had left him this note, this rose.

"Who's it from?" Hermione's voice shattered Harry's thoughts.

"Ah—I don't know," said Harry lamely.

He looked back to the Slytherin table. Malfoy was still smiling that same smile, but he wasn't looking at Harry any longer. He was looking at his girlfriend. He was looking around the table. He was glancing around the hall now and again.

Harry looked at the note once more, and then shoved it into his pocket, swearing to himself. He _didn't_ know that that was Malfoy's handwriting. He _didn't_ know that Malfoy had even consciously looked at him, much less smiled at him.

"Come on, you can tell us," urged Ginny.

"I said I don't know," said Harry, a little too loudly. Ginny jumped. Harry looked at her and groaned. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

But the flutter of owl's wings overhead called everyone's attention upward. And then, much to Harry's horror, owl after owl made its way down to their table, dropping piles of letters in front of Harry. They were addressed from all over the world.

Some of the handwriting appeared to be from adult witches, but most of the lettering was the very girlie bubbling of pre-teen witches. They were addressed to "My Valentine, Harry Potter," to "The Boy Who Lives From the Girl Who Loves Him," and to "The Boy Who Stole My Heart."

Harry panicked and, blushing furiously, tried to shove all the letters into his book bag, hoping beyond hope that no one would notice the hundreds of owls that were swarming down to his table.

His friends just sat back and laughed. Harry looked at them pleadingly, so they began shoving the letters into their bags as well, to help him carry them upstairs. The Great Hall was buzzing with snickers that Harry just knew were directed at him. He must look like a real clown trying to hide all of this.

And the owls kept coming.

Finally, Harry threw up his hands in exasperation and groaned, "What IS this?!" The letters were piling high. It was so ridiculous that even he had to sit back and laugh.

But then a sneering voice called out across the hall, "Hey Potter—is this from your new fan club? Imagine! All of this... _For you, Harry Potter_!" The Slytherin table laughed snidely, and something clicked in Harry's head.

The parchment with the rose said "For you, Harry Potter." Maybe it was from Malfoy after all. Maybe this was just some sick game of his.

Harry was furious, and confused, and hurt. And then Parvati Patil gasped and rushed over to him.

"Harry! You're not going to believe this!" she shrieked.

"What now?!"

She laid down a copy of Teen Witch Weekly on the table. A picture of him from last year smiled back up at him with the headline:

_The Boy Who Lived, To Become A Heart-Throb!_

_—article by Rita Skeeter_

"Oh no!" said Harry desperately. "Hermione, I thought you had contained her!"

Hermione snatched up the magazine and quickly read through the article, with Ginny, Neville, and Dean reading over her shoulder. They started out grinning, but the further they read, the harder they laughed.

Finally, Hermione choked out, "Harry, I'm sorry, but it's really not a bad article."

"What?!" Harry was incredulous.

"She's right," said Neville, who was laughing so hard he almost fell out of his chair. "She's painted you as the hottest Savior of the Wizarding World there ever was!"

Ginny, who was sitting on Hermione's other side, had folded her arms on the table and was laughing into them, tears streaming down her face.

Dean, who had been standing behind Hermione, was doubled over laughing until he was hyperventilating. "Oh, Harry... you... oh, man... fan club..."

"WHAT?!" Harry snatched the magazine back from Hermione. It was true. Rita Skeeter had started a Harry Potter Fan Club. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Ron looked over his shoulder, grinned at Harry, and said, "I bet Dobby's the president."

The table exploded in laughter once more. Harry just sat there, wide-eyed and helpless.

XIXIX

The rest of the day was an embarrassing sort of awful, which, Harry reasoned, was a much better sort of awful than, say, the 'waiting to hear if Lupin was going to recover' sort of awful. So he put up with the friendly taunting from his friends, the DA members, the Quidditch team, his House, and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw Houses as well. He put up with the dreamy eyes that the younger witches in the school were now showering upon him. He even put up with the snide remarks and mocking baby voices the Slytherins were now using to humiliate him regarding the fan club.

And he tried really hard to put up with the seductive looks Malfoy threw him when nobody else was watching, in between the far more common sneers and jeers. But, truth be told, he found those mixed signals from Malfoy far more upsetting than the whole fan club business.

That night, Hermione somehow convinced Harry that it would be a good idea to write Rita Skeeter and thank her for the positive article, and ask her politely to please deal with all fan club mail herself, since it was very distracting to have it arrive at school. Even a few minutes after the conversation, Harry couldn't quite remember _why_ he had agreed to that, but knew that it had something to do with how Rita Skeeter really was trying to help Harry's reputation in the wizarding world, and that after her ruining a year of his life, and then Hermione ruining a year of _her_ life, and then them working together to both revive her career and give Harry the chance to tell the world about how he really did witness Voldemort's return, that they really should try to continue to work together. She said she had a feeling it would be important.

Harry stared at the blank parchment and shook his head as Ginny sat down next to him in the common room.

"How does she do it?" he wondered aloud.

"How does who do what?"

"How does Hermione convince people of things so easily?" Ginny laughed. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to this woman."

Ginny leaned in. "I'll write the letter for you, if you want."

Harry looked at her, surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm better with words than you are anyway," she said slyly.

Harry laughed. "You know, I'd take offense to that, if it weren't true."

Ginny pulled the parchment over to her. "Now, you, go get some sleep. I want you rested up for our day at Hogsmeade."

Harry stretched. "Thanks, Gin. Who all's coming with us tomorrow?"

"Just Hermione and Victor. Ron didn't want to go with us, with Victor around, so he's going with Neville and Dean."

"What about Seamus?" asked Harry.

"Oh, he and Parvati are, you know..."

Harry was shocked. "You two broke up?"

Now Ginny was shocked. "Yeah, Harry, like two months ago!"

Harry shook his head. "Always the last to know. Are you okay with it?"

Ginny nodded, gaping at how thick he was.

"Well, goodnight, Ginny. I'll see you tomorrow." He got up, and called over his shoulder, "And thanks for doing the letter for me." He disappeared up the stairs.

Ginny slapped her hand to her forehead. "He. Has. No. I-. Dea." She looked down at the blank parchment and groaned, and then banged her head on the table.

XIXIX

Harry woke up Saturday morning, greatly relieved to see that Dobby had taken down his Valentine's decorations overnight. He met up with Ginny and Hermione, and the three made their way out of Hogwarts. When they passed the gate, he noticed Luna Lovegood walking by herself. She was wearing a huge pink hat and was looking all around in the sky.

"Alright, Luna?" called Harry. She looked over at him as though she barely recognized him. Then her eyes widened.

"Where are your hats?!" she demanded.

The three of them smiled. Harry said, "Oh no, I completely forgot!"

Luna was looking back up at the sky. "You've got to be more careful," she said. "The Giant Cricket Snakes may already be within jumping distance."

Harry noticed she was alone. "Who are you going to Hogsmeade with?"

"Myself," she said, contentedly.

"Why don't you come with us?" he asked. "That way your hat can protect us all." Hermione and Ginny were gaping at him. He became annoyed as he misread their looks. "You're always welcome with us," he stated definitively.

Ginny raised her eyebrows in amazement and gave Hermione a very meaningful look. It was lost on Harry, who was walking a little ahead of them with Luna.

Victor was waiting for them outside the Three Broomsticks. Hermione gave him a big hug. She was grinning from ear to ear. She introduced him to Ginny and Luna. He shook hands with Harry, saying that they should talk soon about what the Death Eaters were doing in Eastern Europe.

"But not today," Hermione cut in. "Today we are going to take a break from all of that and enjoy ourselves."

Ginny agreed and took Harry by the arm and pulled him into the Three Broomsticks. Luna followed them.

"Her-mo-ninny," said Victor, "Do you mind if ve sit alone? I vould like a vord vith you."

"Sure," said Hermione. She motioned to Ginny that they were going to go sit in the corner. Ginny led Harry and Luna to a free table against the opposite wall.

Harry looked to the door in time to see Malfoy walking in with Pansy on his arm. He took her to a table not too far from where Hermione and Victor were sitting, deep in conversation. Malfoy headed to the bar.

Harry offered to go get their drinks.

He stood next to Malfoy at the bar, unsure of what he should say, if anything. Malfoy looked at him blankly, and then over to Pansy. Once he saw that she was deeply absorbed in eavesdropping into Hermione and Victor's conversation, he turned back to Harry, and turned on the charm.

"Hey Potter," he said smoothly. "I believe we have some unfinished business. When am I going to get you alone again?"

Harry's heart was thudding in his chest as he looked at the suggestive smile leaning toward him. "Don't know, Malfoy," he said, his voice cracking just a bit. Malfoy looked pleased, aroused by a nervous Harry Potter. Harry cleared his throat. "Maybe when you stop being such a prick," he said, a little more smoothly.

Malfoy mimed hurt feelings. "Not fair, Potter," he pouted. "You know my situation. And anyway—"

He glanced back over to Pansy, and then sneered suddenly. He nodded toward Harry's table. "A threesome, huh? Can't say I agree with your taste—that wacko Ravenclaw, and... My, my, that Weasel girl sure does get around. Never thought you'd go for the slutty type," he said snidely. He dropped some coins on the counter and walked off with two butterbeers.

Harry looked after him for a second, and then turned back to the bar. He felt like he had just been kicked in the stomach. He ordered his drinks, and stared at the counter, fuming. This back-and-forth attitude Malfoy had was driving him crazy. Harry paid, and then picked up the butterbeers. The bottles rattled and he realized he was shaking. He took a deep breath and walked back to his table.

Luna was telling Ginny everything she would ever want to know about the Giant Cricket Snakes of Transylvania. Harry set their drinks down and Ginny looked up.

"Harry! What's wrong?" Harry shook his head and glanced over his shoulder toward Malfoy's table. He opened his mouth, but Ginny cut him off. "Oh no!"

Harry sat down with his back to the wall and immediately saw what she was referring to. Victor was patting Hermione on the shoulder. She was crying. "Oh no," he echoed.

The three stared in sympathetic sadness as Victor apparently broke up with Hermione. Through the murmur of the crowded room, they clearly heard a female laughing snidely. Hermione and Victor looked over and glared. Harry followed their eyes to see Pansy and Malfoy openly laughing at Hermione's heartache.

Harry clenched his fists, shaking again, and watched a guilty looking Victor Krum lead a heartbroken looking Hermione outside. Then he looked back to Malfoy, who was looking straight at him, his smile seductive and snide at the same time.

Ginny looked from the door, to Luna, to Harry, and said, "Well, this day's a bust. I'm gonna go check on Hermione." She got up and left.

Harry was still watching Malfoy. He had his arm around his girlfriend, who was still laughing at the door. Malfoy licked his lips, giving Harry his very best bedroom eyes. He mouthed "Watch" at Harry, and reached up and turned his girlfriend's face back to his, breathing her in, kissing her passionately. All the while, his seductive eyes were on Harry.

Harry couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding. His fists were clenched. His eyes were glued to Malfoy's. He was angry and hurt. He was confused, because as pissed off as he was at Malfoy at this moment, he wanted to be the one over there with him.

Luna grabbed Harry's shoulder and gently turned him toward her. Harry jumped slightly. He had forgotten she was there. She leaned in to him, saying sweetly, "Harry, don't let him get to you." Harry's eyes widened for a moment, but Luna just smiled. She leaned in closer, right into his face. "He's playing power games with your emotions. Don't worry," she said, "Your secret is safe with me."

She closed the gap between them and kissed him very gently and lovingly on the mouth. After a few moments, she pulled back slightly. "That was so he doesn't think he has the upper hand," she said. Harry smiled at her, truly thankful that she was there. "Now, you can kiss me again if you want, to make it look convincing, but do it with your eyes closed or else he'll know it's for him."

Harry nodded with his eyes. Luna reached up and wrapped her hand around Harry's neck, pulling him back in. Harry took her in his arms, running his hands up her back and into her hair. Her pink hat fell off, but neither of them paid it any mind, as their mouths opened and their tongues caressed each other passionately.

"Wow," Harry breathed, as they pulled away.

"Don't look at him," Luna warned, staring deep into his eyes. "Take me by the hand, and lead me out the door."

Harry smiled at her and complied. After a few steps, Luna pulled him back to their table, blushing, and grabbed her forgotten hat.

Harry marveled at her, wide-eyed. She had to be the best actress he had ever seen.

She replaced her hat and smiled shyly up at him. Harry grinned back.

He chanced a glance around the Three Broomsticks as they left, and noted that Malfoy was still going through the motions of making out with Pansy, and was still watching Harry, failing to mask an unusual look in his eyes. Harry didn't let his glance linger long enough to figure out if it was a look of hurt or jealously.

About halfway down the block, Harry suddenly stopped walking and turned to Luna. He took her in his arms and swung her around happily.

"You are the best witch in the whole world!" he said, hugging her tight. "Luna, I—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," she said, pushing him back. She had a dreamy, if not bewildered, look in her eyes. "That's as far as it goes. No offense, Harry, but you're really not my type. We're JUST FRIENDS."

Harry laughed. He was going to say 'Luna, I owe you,' but realized Luna must have thought he was about to profess his love.

He tried to look a little sad, and said, "I understand."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N:

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: Thank you! And Happy New Year to you!

Wildvictoria-: Thank you. I thought he would kind of have to act that way, yeah?

Fantasy 101: Thanks for coming back! And, have patience, all in good time.

Chekiita: No! That would be so uncharacteristic. He couldn't possibly! And no, I don't enjoy giving Harry a hard time. These are just the steps they have to go through to get through the story. Thanks for reading!

Wintermoon2: Wild, huh? But he's got to use his brains if he's going to manage Malfoy. And mocking him is definitely got to hurt that arrogant pretty-boy!

Marilyn,MyBitterness: Ooh... I anxiously await that story. Thanks for coming back!


	7. Controlling the Dream

X

XIX

XIXIX "Controlling the Dream" XIXIX

Harry passed the rest of the day with Luna at Hogsmeade. They both decided to spend the money they had brought with them on sweets and spell books for Hermione. While she had made it a practice to keep mostly quiet about her relationship with Victor, they had been together for nearly two years, and Harry knew she was going to take this break-up hard.

He and Luna parted ways as they entered the Great Hall for dinner. She gave Harry her gifts for Hermione, and went to sit at the Ravenclaw table. Harry went to the Gryffindor table, feeling uncomfortably warm.

He slid into the seat next to Ron, who was dripping with sweat. Neville and Dean looked similarly overheated.

"Why's it so hot in here?" he asked.

"Dunno," said Dean.

Neville ran his hand through his short hair, which contorted into sweaty spikes sticking out at all angles. "Granted it's still cold outside," he said, "But this heat is unbelievable. I wonder what the house elves are thinking!"

Ron grimaced and looked up at Harry. "Hermione better not have led them in revolution."

"Where is Hermione, anyway?" asked Harry.

"Up in her room," said Ginny, joining the table.

"Is she okay?"

Ginny shook her head. "She's really upset about it. That... that... _ooh_!" Ginny looked really pissed, trying to come up with the appropriate insult to assign to Victor.

"Upset about what?!" asked Ron, suddenly concerned, his outstretched hand wrapped around a bread roll, frozen midway between the bread basket and his plate.

"Victor broke up with her today," said Harry.

"He—WHAT?!" asked Ron furiously.

"Met someone new," said Ginny with a scowl. "And anyway, the 'long distance thing just isn't vorking out'!" she spat, miming Victor's accent in distaste.

"I'm gonna kill him!" yelled Ron, slamming his fist on the table, bread squeezed in between his knuckles. "Is he still here? I'm gonna KILL HIM!"

Ginny scoffed at her older brother. "I thought you'd be happy about it!"

Ron rounded on her. "HAPPY?! Happy that that bloody, Bulgarian arse—?" His face was beet red and he was shaking, casting about for words through his anger. He threw the thoroughly crushed bread roll on the table, placed his hands on either side of his plate and pushed himself up menacingly, his anger radiating from him. The rest of the table sat back in alarm.

"Nobody. Hurts. Hermione." His voice was cold fury, his eyes blazing. "He didn't deserve her."

He stormed out of the Great Hall.

The table stared after him in stunned silence. They had all seen Ron's temper before, but never like that.

After a few minutes, they slowly began to load up their plates. Harry felt too hot to eat, but Ginny still looked quite angry, and he didn't want her to turn on him after seeing Ron's outburst. Apparently, it WAS true what they say about redheads.

Conversation slowly started back up at the table, but Harry didn't join in. The heat was getting to him. He was thinking back over everything that had happened today, and he felt a little dizzy. After awhile, he began to get the uncomfortable feeling that someone was watching him. He looked up, and sure enough, a certain blonde Slytherin was glaring at him.

He thought about Malfoy kissing his girlfriend while eyeing Harry, and he felt sick to his stomach. He was about to excuse himself from the table, when he heard Neville say, "Oh yeah!" Harry looked at him.

"Harry, is it true that you were making out with Luna Lovegood at the Three Broomsticks today?" he asked with a friendly, knowing smile.

Ginny dropped her fork with a clatter, and Harry turned red. He hadn't considered that his friends would hear about it; he had only thought about how it would affect Malfoy. He looked up at the Great Hall ceiling, already darkening with the evening sky. It was too hot in there. He had to get out.

"Yeah," he said simply. Then he gathered up Hermione's gifts and headed to the common room.

It was even hotter in Gryffindor Tower. He said "Fawkes" to the portrait of the fat lady and entered the common room to the sight of Ron pacing back and forth at the bottom of the stairway to the girls' dormitories.

Harry regarded him silently, all of Hermione's gifts piled in his arms. Ron noticed him, but kept pacing.

"She won't come down," he said, presumably to Harry, but without looking at him. "She won't come down, and I can't go up there because of that damn spell that turns the stairs into a slide. The walls even get slick, so I can't use them to brace myself. She yelled at me to go away when I called to her. She's not coming down." Ron kept pacing.

"She just needs some time," said Harry sympathetically.

"Time?!" Ron stopped his pacing and looked at him incredulously. He walked straight up to Harry and stared him in the eye. "Harry, she's my best friend." He looked at Harry pleadingly. "I—Harry, I love her." He shook his head and went back to pacing at the bottom of the stairs. "She's not coming down."

Harry stood in the heat for a few minutes, watching Ron pace, muttering about how Hermione wouldn't come downstairs. When a couple of first year girls came back from dinner, Harry grabbed them and asked them to deliver the gifts to Hermione.

Then he left.

XIXIX

Harry didn't care that he was walking alone or that nobody knew where he was. He needed to clear his head, and that certainly wasn't going to happen if he had half the DA following him around.

The castle was too hot, so Harry made his way outside into the brisk February air for a walk around the lake. The cold wind against his face helped him shake his dizziness, but his thoughts were still weighing him down.

What had happened to the trio? Hermione was heartbroken. Ron seemed to have snapped. And Harry was nursing an all-too-dysfunctional crush on his longtime rival.

And what the hell was up with Malfoy anyway? They hate each other for years. Then they're friends. Then they're enemies again, but Malfoy keeps trying to seduce him when no one's looking...

Harry pulled his hair, groaning.

Was there really something between them, or was it just a game? Harry thought about the note he had received yesterday morning.

_'haunted by phantom kisses'_

He felt the same way. He just couldn't be sure that Malfoy really did as well.

His chest was hurting; his stomach was upset. He shook his head and reprimanded himself. "Merlin, Harry! You're acting like a lovesick puppy!"

He looked up and stopped short. He was almost within reach of the Whomping Willow. He glanced around, a tornado of confused emotions rushing up to meet him.

_This is where I was when my hope of living with Sirius died. That's where we were standing when the full moon came out, and Lupin changed, and Wormtail got away. That's where I was standing when the Dementor almost sucked out my soul. That was where I stood when I conjured the Patronus and saved myself from the kiss. Sirius lay there._

"Sirius," Harry whispered out loud. He fought back the tears, and kept walking, knowing where he needed to go.

He settled himself under the beech tree by the lake, still trying to hold it all in. This was going to hurt, but he had to do it.

_This is where my father sat. Sirius was there. Lupin was there. Wormtail was there. My mother was over there._

Harry choked.

_Snape... Snape was there. My father was playing with a snitch, showing off for my mother. Sirius was bored. Snape was minding his own business._

And Harry replayed it all in his head. He needed an anchor right now. He needed his parents. This memory was the only memory he had that contained all four of his parents—Sirius, Lupin, and James and Lily Potter. This stolen memory.

Harry had seen it all in Snape's pensieve last year. This was Snape's memory of how Harry's fathers had tormented him when they were all students at Hogwarts. Harry replayed it in his head.

__

James and Sirius taunting the young Severus Snape. Lupin looking the other way. Wormtail egging them on. Lily Evans trying to stand up for Snape, even though Snape called her a mudblood. _He recalled how much his mother seemed to hate his father at the time, and watched the memory of her walk away._ _His father and Sirius redoubled their efforts to publicly humiliate Snape._

Could he have ever done that to Malfoy?

__

Snape pulled him out of the pensieve, threw Harry across the dungeon classroom, and for the first time, Harry didn't hate him.  
  
Harry was trembling.

_This is where my father sat. Lupin was there. My mother was over there. Sirius was—_

Sirius.

Harry laid back, shivering in the cold and in the memories.

"Can you still hear me?" he asked. "I could sure use some guidance now."

XIXIX

It was late when Harry finally returned to Gryffindor Tower. He was so cold he was numb all over. He was an absolute mess emotionally. As he had laid out in the cold, reliving hard memories, and exhausting himself in the process, he had actually tried to call Sirius to him. The later it got, the more he believed that he could do it, if he just tried hard enough.

But Sirius never came.

There were only two people in the common room when he made his way through. One was Ron, asleep in a chair next to the stairs to the girls' dormitory. The other was Ginny, asleep in a chair _blocking _the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

The emotionally beat-up Harry wanted to laugh, except he didn't quite get the humor of the situation. He figured Ron was waiting for Hermione, and no amount of convincing would get him to move until he saw her. Ginny must have been waiting for Ron, worried about her brother. She might go to bed, but regardless, she would have to move before Harry could.

He shook her gently on the shoulder. "Ginny," he said softly. "Ginny, it's late—go to bed."

She stirred a bit, opened her eyes. When she saw Harry, she sat up quickly. Harry stood up, rubbing the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Where have you been? What time is it?" asked Ginny, standing up.

"It's late," said Harry. He leaned over and absently pushed the chair to the side. "Ginny, just go to bed. Ron will be okay."

"Harry!" She sounded tired and exasperated, like she didn't know how much more she could take. Harry looked at her, too much of a mess to wonder how much more of _what_.

All he could think to do was put his hand on her shoulder as a sign of friendly support. "He'll be okay," he repeated. "Go get some sleep."

Ginny shook her head and then looked at Harry with hard, penetrating eyes. "Harry, I need you to tell me the truth," she said.

Harry just wanted to lie down in his bed. He nodded. "Okay."

"Are you going out with Luna?" she asked, almost angrily.

Harry was shaken by her tone of voice, and was startled by her question. Not knowing how else to answer, he just said, "I don't think so, Ginny."

He turned to go upstairs, but Ginny grabbed his arm and yanked him back around. Her eyes were burning.

"Serious?" she demanded.

Harry saw the anger in her eye, felt the violence with which she had turned him back around. He heard the spiteful way she said his godfather's name, and was too much of a mess right then to understand what was really happening.

Fury welled up within him. He threw his arm up, breaking out of her grasp. He stepped into her face and intoned threateningly, "Don't you EVER talk bad about him. Do you understand?!"

He was shaking again as he turned and walked up the stairs.

Harry pulled out a pair of pajamas, and changed in the dark. Neville was snoring loudly. As his eyes adjusted, he saw that all of his roommates were lying on top of their covers in their underwear. One of the windows was open in an attempt to relieve the indoor heat.

Harry's skin was burning as he began to thaw out. His body was still cold to the touch. He climbed under his blankets and stared up into the darkness. His emotions were whirling fiercely through him, making him feel like his body was actually spinning around in circles.

A hurricane of thoughts slammed their way through him. _Malfoy... His father... His mother... Lupin... Sirius...  
_  
His face was wet. He was crying. He was sweating. He kicked off his blankets.

He replayed Snape's memory over again.

He pulled off his shirt.

Sirius, where are you?

He was standing by the beech tree on the lakefront. He looked around him, surprised to be there. Hadn't he already gone to bed?

"Harry."

Harry turned around and saw his godfather standing behind him.

"Sirius," he whispered, grief rushing over him. He began to collapse, but Sirius caught him up in a tight embrace.

"Harry, I've missed you," he said. "Oh, Harry. I'm so sorry."

Harry was crying. He could feel Sirius holding him. This wasn't a dream. Sirius was really there. Harry clung to him. "I did it," he whispered. "You're really here."

"Harry, listen to me," said Sirius urgently. "You need to be strong now."

Harry shook his head. He felt like a crumpled piece of parchment. Sirius could be strong for him. Harry no longer had it in him.

Sirius shook him. "No! Harry. Harry, listen to me. I need you to be strong now. Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I had to leave you. I'm sorry that it has to be you, but Harry, it's you. You have to be strong tonight. Everything depends on you being strong tonight."

Harry was holding on, but Sirius was slipping from his grasp. 'No!' thought Harry. 'I can hold on. I have to be strong, and I can hold on.'

But Sirius was fading away. _Be strong, Harry_.

Snape was kneeling before him. "My Lord," he said.

Harry flicked his wand and Snape was naked, his robes lying on the floor off to the side.

"I expect more from my servants," Harry said coldly.

"My Lord?" Snape asked.

"My other, more _faithful _servants tell me the Potter boy was out of Hogwarts—_alone_. Away from Dumbledore, away from his pesky friends! He was completely unprotected save for a nearly dead werewolf!" He was boiling with rage at Snape's failure. He was so close to the boy at Hogwarts, and yet he failed to notify his master of this unique opportunity to have someone rid the world of that blasted boy once and for all!

Harry recognized that he was in Voldemort's head. He could hear his thoughts. If only he could just get a bit deeper...

Rage overcame him. He flicked his wand again and Snape flew up to the ceiling, suspended by magic. He was struggling to keep his features neutral, but Harry could see the fear in his eyes. It pleased him. The wizard was doing no good at Hogwarts. Dumbledore didn't trust him enough to let him know the location of the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. He had no idea where they hid the boy when he was away from that bloody school. And he somehow failed to gather the information that the boy would be alone for an entire day!

His fury was so complete he could taste blood. He moved his wand in a slashing motion and Snape's torso ripped open from sternum to groin. His guts spilled out, dropping to the floor. Another flick and they flew apart, hanging themselves about the room—a living decoration.

A white-hot pain burned its way through to Harry, piercing his thoughts. He clawed at his forehead, flailing in his four-poster.

_Be strong, Harry._

He forced the pain back down. He needed to get back in. He needed to force his way back in!

He gathered his strength, every last bit of energy he had and pushed himself back into Voldemort's head.

Snape was white. If Harry waited too much longer, the wizard would not survive. Should he even bother raising his wand to save him? Harry mused idly. After all, Snape was protecting the future Death Eaters at Hogwarts so they could complete their magical training. And he _was_ the only one capable of brewing the potion that kept that boy out of his head.

He flicked his wrist several times in quick succession. Snape's intestines gathered themselves back into his body, which sealed itself shut. Snape fell to the floor with a sickening thud.

Voldemort stared at him cruelly. "Get out of my sight before I change my mind and kill you," he spat.

Snape crawled across the floor to his robe. "Thank you, my Lord. You are most merciful," he said weakly. He pulled at his robe, covering himself, and still laying down, disapparated.

Harry opened his eyes. "Bugger!" he breathed aloud.

He was trembling, energy and adrenaline rushing through him. His scar hurt, but it was a manageable pain. He blinked.

Snape!

Before he realized he was moving, he had already run through the common room. Ron stirred in his sleep, but did not wake up. Harry pushed his way through the portrait hole, and ran down the tower stairs.

He had made it through a vision. He had been inside Voldemort's head, and he had controlled it. He had pushed the pain down. He had forced himself back in when he had started to wake up!

He ran through the entrance hall and slammed himself against the heavy front door. The cold night air bit into Harry and he realized he was only wearing his pajama bottoms. His bare feet slapped against the walkway down to the Hogwarts Gate.

"Be there," he prayed. He wasn't entirely sure Snape would have enough energy to apparate safely back to Hogwarts. But if he had, he would be at the front gate.

Harry stopped and looked around for the Potions Master, panicking when he didn't see him at first. But then he saw a slight movement in the shadows. He rushed forward and found a pile of Snape lying in the grass.

His breathing was ragged. He looked like he was already dead. His robe was lying on top of him.

"Oh Merlin, Professor!" said Harry, dropping to his knees. He didn't quite know what to do. He was afraid to touch the man.

"Potter!" Snape whispered furiously. "Get back to bed immediately!"

Harry laughed absently. Snape still hated him. That was a good sign. "Can you move?" he asked urgently. He reached under Snape's shoulders to try to help him sit up.

Snape winced in pain, and weakly slapped Harry's hands away. "Don't touch me! Go back to your dormitory immediately," he whispered with authority. His head drooped back down into the grass.

Harry swore. Snape was wasting too much energy trying to keep Harry from helping him. "Professor, I've got to get you to the infirmary. I saw what happened. You've got to let me help you!"

Snape was rolling his head around. "How did you see?" he asked. "I've told you to clear your thoughts before you sleep. I haven't... haven't finished the potion yet." He was beginning to lose consciousness.

"Yeah, Voldemort thinks you have," Harry muttered, and then immediately regretted it. Snape pulled together the last of his energy to glare at Harry with all the hatred he could muster. He couldn't hold out much longer if he kept this up.

"Potter, you get the fuck away from me," he growled. "You will not... speak to your... superiors..." he began to drift again.

They were wasting time.

Harry reached under Snape's shoulders again, pulling him up. Snape struggled against him, but he was fading.

Harry grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly, staring hard into his face. Snape opened his eyes and looked at Harry, hardly focusing.

"Professor," Harry said firmly, speaking slowly and clearly. "You are wasting too much energy fighting me. We can hate each other again tomorrow, but right now, I have got to get you to the infirmary. Do you understand?"

Snape's eyes cleared, and he looked at Harry as though only just recognizing him. He nodded, but said, "Not the infirmary. Get me to my quarters. All my potions are there."

"But—"

"Potter, please."

Harry nodded. He tried to pick up the Potions Master, but even as drained as he was, Snape was still too heavy. Harry reached for his wand, saying, "_Mobilicorpus_." He barely had an instant to curse himself for leaving his wand in his robe on the floor of his dorm room, when Snape slowly levitated on the magical stretcher Harry had conjured.

"Professor, stay awake," said Harry, leading the levitating Snape inside. He was afraid that if Snape lost consciousness he would never make it back. He seemed to remember some muggle First Aid rule about that.

Snape moaned slightly. His eyes were crossing.

"Severus Snape," said Harry authoritatively, leading him toward the Slytherin dungeons. "What are the ingredients of veritaserum?"

Snape opened his eyes and looked at Harry. He began intoning the names of the ingredients, and then the process by which to create the potion.

Harry led him through the halls, down, down toward the dungeons. It was dark and he hadn't been this way since his second year when they had made the Polyjuice Potion.

"Professor?" he asked. Snape looked at him, his eyes clearer. "Which way, sir?"

"Take the next hall to the right. It's the door at the end."

Harry hurried on.

A stone serpent guarded the door to Snape's quarters. Snape muttered "Wormwood" and it slithered out of the way. The door opened, and Harry led Snape to his bed. He helped the wizard lie down, and pulled the covers over him.

"Where are your potions, sir? What do you need?"

Snape raised his hand weakly to indicate a cabinet across the room. "They're all marked. Blood Replenishing. Heal Magical Wounds. Muscle Relaxing. Pain Numbing."

Harry ran across the room and pulled at the cabinet door. It was locked. "Alohomora," he said impatiently. The door clicked open. He grabbed one vial of each and rushed back to Snape's side.

"Help me sit up," he said. Harry placed the vials on the bedside table, and helped Snape sit up over the side of the bed, leaning against the headboard. Harry handed him the Blood Replenishing potion, but Snape was too weak to lift it to his mouth. Harry reached forward and helped him.

As soon as Snape swallowed the potion, he gagged and then retched, vomiting it all back up. They dropped the vial; it shattered on the stone floor.

"Scourgify," said Harry. The vomit disappeared from Snape's front. "Reparo." The vial pieces rushed back together. Harry picked it up and put in on the bedside table.

Snape looked at him, amazed. "Another," he said. "And a Stomach Settling."

Harry obeyed immediately. Snape drank the Stomach Settling first, and was then able to hold down the Blood Replenishing. When he drank the Heal Magical Wounds potion, he immediately began to tense up. Every muscle in his body seemed to contract at once. Harry had to pour the Muscle Relaxing potion through Snape's clenched teeth, but the effect was immediate. After drinking the Pain Numbing potion, he lay back. His eyes were clear, and he seemed to be regaining his wits.

"The Blood Replenishing is beginning to work," he said.

Harry nodded. "Do you need anything else, sir?"

"Sleep," Snape replied wearily. "It helps the potions work faster. Get me the mild Sleep Draught. It's the light blue among them." Harry looked through the row of Sleep Draughts in the cabinet. "I'll need to wake up in a few hours and take another round of everything," he said. Harry nodded, producing the light blue vial. Snape drank it, and was out before he lowered the vial.

Harry placed the last empty vial on the bedside table and stood up. He was suddenly hit full-force with the night's events. He staggered backward as though a physical weight had slammed into him.

He ran his hands through his hair and began to pace. He had been working on automatic pilot during the past hour in his urgency to save the life of Professor Snape.

Professor Snape.

Harry looked at the pale figure lying on the bed. In a flash, the entire vision he had had through Voldemort's eyes replayed itself to Harry. Harry nearly vomited, thinking about Snape's intestines strewn about the room.

He was trembling, reviewing all of Voldemort's thoughts. Snape had successfully lied to Voldemort about so many things in order to protect Harry. Still pacing, Harry began to shake violently as he realized just how much this man did, how much he went through, in order to protect him.

It was coming back to him too sudden, too fast. He felt like he might shatter if he didn't relieve the pressure.

He grabbed a chair and pulled it to the side of the bed, sat down, and stared at the face of the Death Eater Spy for the Order of the Phoenix. It was too much. Harry leaned forward, resting his head on Snape's arm, not realizing that his scar was resting on Snape's Dark Mark—their two symbols of Voldemort's torture colliding.

Harry sat there shaking. And then he was crying. And then he was speaking.

"Professor, I'm so sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for having been such a prat to you all this time, especially after you rejoined the Order. I'm sorry for calling you names behind your back, and for undermining you whenever I could. I'm sorry we stole the Polyjuice Potion ingredients from you in my second year, when we wanted to find out if Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin. I'm sorry for ever disrespecting you, and for every time I didn't do my homework. I'm sorry that I was such a bloody arse when you were trying to teach me Occlumency and that I blamed you for Sirius' death for so long. I'm sorry for every snide comment I ever made. I'm sorry that I looked in your pensieve, and I'm sorry that my father and Sirius were such pricks when you were a student, because I know what that's like. Professor, I've been through that, too. I know you think I was some spoiled, pampered brat, but I lived in a cupboard, for Merlin's sake. Sometimes they wouldn't feed me. And my cousin and his friends beat me up all the time. And they were the bullies at my grammar school so everyone was afraid to be friends with me, so I was picked on all the time. And then there was all this fame for something that I didn't even do—it just happened to me. And I'm sorry for all of this. I'm sorry that I couldn't stop Voldemort's return. And I'm sorry that you had to go back and serve him. I've seen it, Professor, and I'm so sorry you have to go through that. And I'm sorry that I don't understand the prophecy. I'm sorry, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't even know if I'm supposed to live through this. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know...

"But I can't let this continue. I can't let you go through this anymore. I can't let all of this pain continue. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm ready. Even if I die in the process, I'm ready to accept the prophecy—to own up to whatever fate has in store for me. Just so long as you don't have to experience that ever again. I'll die if I can make it stop, if I can end this once and for all. I'm ready to die if I have to, in order to end this war."

Harry sat there, shaking and crying onto Snape's arm. He meant it all. He didn't like it, but he really _was_ ready to die if that was the only way to rid the world of Voldemort's torture.

Snape's hand was in Harry's messy hair, gently shaking him awake. Harry stirred, realizing he had fallen asleep on his professor's arm. He sat up quickly. "I'm sorry, sir," he said absently. He hadn't meant to let himself fall asleep.

Snape regarded him silently for a long moment, and then simply said, "I know."

Harry held his eye and nodded. "Do you need your potions, sir?"

"Yes."

Harry crossed the room to the cabinet and grabbed another round of everything, including the Stomach Settling potion, just in case. He helped Snape drink them all, except for the Sleep Draught, which Snape held lazily as he lay back down.

"Mr. Potter, you may go back to your dormitory now," he said softly. "And if you are caught out of bed by another faculty member, I would appreciate it if you would accept a detention rather than telling them you were here."

Harry nodded. "Of course, sir."

He opened the door to Professor Snape's quarters.

"Mr. Potter?"

Harry turned back. "Yes sir?"

"Thank you."

XIXIX

XIX

X


	8. Matters of Trust

X

XIX

XIXIX "Matters of Trust" XIXIX

Harry lay in bed, thinking over the previous night's events until he eventually realized he was awake. He reached for his glasses and looked at the clock. It was nearly lunchtime. His stomach was hurting, cramped with hunger. He hadn't really eaten since breakfast the day before.

He rolled out of bed and walked to the shower, feeling disembodied. At some point in the night he had sidestepped reality. He was a movie of himself—a fantasy. He was the walking portrait of some famous wizard who had seen too much in his life, and who was slated to save the world.

This couldn't be reality. Harry was no one special, himself.

During an especially long shower, he found that he still couldn't quite sort out his thoughts. Too much new information had spilled into him the previous night. He couldn't sort it out on his own.

There was only one thing to do: find Ron and Hermione.

In the Great Hall, Harry found his two best friends sitting on opposite sides of the Gryffindor table. Hermione was surrounded by female friends. Ron sat amongst the sixth year boys. Harry stood looking at them for a moment, wondering why the table was suddenly segregated by gender.

Ginny looked up from Hermione's side, and glared daggers into Harry. She excused herself from the table and stalked past him out of the Great Hall. Harry looked after her, at a complete loss, and then slid into the seat across from Ron.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Ron, who was looking rather disgruntled himself, said, "Hermione needs 'girl time'. She said she had a lot to sort through, with Victor and all—"

While Ron spoke, Harry closed his eyes and groaned, "Bloody Hell." He had gotten so wrapped up in what had happened to him last night that he had forgotten that his best friends had troubles of their own.

"What's your problem?" Ron asked, a bit snidely.

Harry looked at him. Ron looked really tired. "Nothing. I just needed to pull my head out of my arse." Ron smirked, dropping the defensiveness. "Is she okay? I mean—did you get to talk to her?"

Ron shrugged. "She said she just needs time... like you said, I guess."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Harry started to load up his plate. He listened to Dean, Seamus, and Neville talk about Quidditch, and who had a chance at the World Cup this year.

He decided he would just have to shove the night's revelations aside for the time being. It wouldn't be fair to drop everything on his friends when they were dealing with so much else.

He started to eat, ravenously, and Ron asked, "So where were you last night, anyway? Ginny was in a right state worried about you being out alone."

Harry thought about Ginny asleep in the chair. "I went for a walk..."

His eyes widened slightly as pieces began to click into place. Ginny had been worried about him. She had waited up for _him_, not Ron. And then they had talked about... something... and then he yelled at her.

"Oh no!"

Harry jumped up and hurried out of the Great Hall. He stood in the doorway for a moment, trying to decide if she would have gone to the common room or outside. The Great Hall had been bathed in sunlight. It was a beautiful day.

He ran outside. The air was cold, but the sun was shining for once. Harry looked around almost frantically. He was such an idiot, pushing away the people who cared for him most.

He had a vague memory running through his head of Ginny yelling Sirius' name. Had he told her about trying to contact him? Had she scoffed at him? No, that didn't seem right. It was only last night, but it seemed like a million years ago. Harry did know one thing, though. Ginny would not possibly have done something to deserve him yelling at her. It just wasn't like her.

Harry spotted the flaming redhead standing by the side of the lake. The wind was blowing through her hair. Her robes were billowing out behind her. Her arms were crossed. She didn't have a cloak on, and Harry suspected she must be cold.

"Ginny—!" he called, running over to her.

She stared out over the lake as though she didn't hear him. Her features were stony when he drew near.

He stopped next to her, but suddenly realized he didn't quite know what to say.

"Go away, Harry," she said firmly.

"Ginny..."

"I said go away."

Harry sighed in frustration. "Ginny, listen to me—"

"No! You listen to me, Harry!" She turned to him, her eyes blazing. Harry was afraid suddenly that she was going to pull out her wand and curse him. "You have really been a self-centered prick lately, you know that?"

"I know," he whispered, ashamed.

"And that's fine if you want to turn into Malfoy, but I'll have none of it, Harry! You don't play games with me. You don't lie to me. And you sure as hell don't threaten me!" She was breathing heavily and seemed to be steeling herself for a fight.

Harry looked at her for a few moments, and then said, "You're right. I'm sorry."

Her eyes flickered. She hadn't been expecting that.

"The worst part about it is that I was so wrapped up in wishing that my family was here that I kind of forgot that they were." Harry kicked at the grass. He felt cheesy saying it, but he knew he had to get Ginny to understand how much she meant to him, and how bad he felt for being a prat to her. "Ginny, you're the only sister I have. And you know I would never intentionally hurt you. I was an absolute git, and I'm sorry."

Ginny looked like he had just kicked her in the stomach. Harry put his hand on her shoulder. He tried to look her in the eye, but she kept turning away. Harry cursed himself silently. He had really hurt her.

"Ginny, please forgive me. I can't do all of this alone. I can't tell you how much you've helped me this year. I mean, with the DA, and when Lupin was attacked, and even with simple things like making sure I eat, and writing that letter to Rita Skeeter. I can always rely on you. And I know I blew it last night. I just got too overwhelmed with everything. And I should have just come to you and told you what was happening, but instead I... Ginny please look at me. I need you."

Ginny slowly turned to him, her eyes red. "You really think of me like a sister?"

Harry smiled. "More than a sister. Like, like a twin."

Ginny took a deep breath, sucking in her heartache. "Harry, that's a really big deal what you're saying. Being a twin in the wizarding world is creating a bond closer than most married couples have. The twin witch or wizard will always be there for you, no matter what. It's like accepting someone as an extension of yourself. Did you know that?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I didn't."

"So that's not what you meant at all."

"I meant that I trust you, and that I rely on your strength, and that sometimes I feel you're so much like me that you're like the Weasley version of myself." Ginny smiled weakly. "That's why I asked you to help me with the DA. There are other people I can count on, but not like you. It's different somehow." He shrugged. "Maybe we should be twins."

Ginny looked at him long and hard, obviously thinking things through. Finally, she said, "I can't do that, Harry. But I'll be here for you, and I'll help you however I can—on one condition."

"What's that?"

"That you never lie to me, or keep anything from me. I have to be able to trust you completely."

"Ginny, I promise you that so long as it is my secret to tell, I won't keep anything from you—if I can have your word of confidence."

"You have my word," said Ginny, brushing tears from her eyes. "I'm not your twin, but I'll be your sister." She forced herself to smile through the tears.

Harry pulled his sister into a hug, so incredibly happy and relieved that they could be this close. Ginny buried her face in his shoulder, a strange ache in her heart like she was both holding on and letting go.

She couldn't help it. She pulled away and asked, "So where were you last night?"

"That... is a really long story. Why don't we go find a seat?"

Lunch was over when they went back in, and neither Harry nor Ginny had eaten a full meal. They stopped by the kitchens and were given sandwiches and tea by the house elves. Harry thanked Dobby for the decorations on Valentine's Day. Dobby was quite pleased.

Ginny found an open classroom, and they sat down to eat. Harry told her all about his walk, and how he tried to call Sirius to him. He couldn't tell her about the memory of his parents, because that was Snape's memory. But he did tell her about Sirius appearing to him in the dream telling him to be strong, and about controlling the vision through Voldemort's eyes. He also admitted that he had seen Snape tortured and that he had gone out to check on him in the middle of the night. He glossed over the details of the torture and the bad shape Snape was in when he found him with the simple words, "It was awful." Then he told her about the prophecy. He told her the exact wording, and that he wasn't afraid of it anymore.

"Oh, Harry! Why didn't you tell us?" Ginny was putting on a strong front for him, but he knew from personal experience that this was a lot of information to soak in.

"I don't know. I guess I was kind of hoping that it would just miraculously go away."

"Are you going to tell Ron and Hermione?"

"Not yet. I mean... I don't want to tell them right now because I don't want them to think that I feel my problems are more important than theirs."

Ginny shrugged and took on an ironic tone. "Well, you _are_ trying to figure out how to stop What's-His-Name from conquering the world."

"But that's exactly what I mean! My problems are so far out there that I don't even feel real anymore, Ginny. They're the ones with real pain. Me?" Harry saw Malfoy in his mind's eye and said a little sadly, "I don't guess I have time for the normalcies of life anymore."

Ginny looked down and Harry saw real pain in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you all of this."

Ginny shot him a look. "You absolutely should have told me all of this! You should always tell me. And you should also tell Ron and Hermione about your vision, and about the prophecy. They'd want to know, and besides, it might help Hermione to have someone else to think about right now."

She looked Harry in the eye, and said, "It's really hard to find out that someone doesn't love you back, especially when you'd do anything for them."

Harry nodded. "I guess you're right. Do you think we have time to find them before the DA meeting?"

Ginny looked at the clock. "Probably. Let's go."

They didn't get too far. They had just left the classroom when Nearly Headless Nick floated into the corridor.

"Oh, there you are, Harry!" he said. "I am to direct you to the headmaster's office immediately."

Harry looked at Ginny. "I haven't told him yet. This may take awhile."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I don't know if I should be exasperated that you've waited this long to tell Dumbledore, or flattered that you told me first!"

Harry smiled. "If I'm late, go ahead and start the DA meeting without me, okay?"

Ginny nodded. "Go!"

XIXIX

When Harry reached the gargoyle, he hurriedly looked all around him for other students. Finding the halls empty, he whispered the password and headed up the stairs. He opened the door to find himself looking into the twinkling eyes of Professor Dumbledore, seated at his desk. Sitting across from him, with his back to Harry, was Professor Snape.

"Ah! Harry! Please, come have a seat."

Harry walked tentatively forward and sat in the chair next to Professor Snape. He felt really uncomfortable seeing the Potions Master, after what had happened. He hadn't expected this discomfort, although honestly, he hadn't really taken the time to expect _anything_ yet.

He chanced a glance at Snape, who was regarding Harry impassively. Harry looked away.

"Lemon drop?" asked Dumbledore with a smile.

"No thank you, sir," said Harry.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Professor Dumbledore, might we begin?"

"Of course, Severus," he replied. "Harry, Professor Snape tells me that you may have engaged in some rather remarkable magic last night. I was wondering if you might tell us the whole story."

Harry nodded and took a deep breath. He glanced again at Snape, whose face still lacked any sign of emotion, fixed his eyes on Dumbledore, and began.

"It actually started several hours earlier. I was out under the beech tree by the lake thinking about things when I had this idea that I could call Sirius to me to give me some advice about... stuff."

"You attempted a séance?" asked Dumbledore. Snape made a slight scoffing noise.

"Well, no, not exactly. I just sort of tried to call him. I kept replaying this memory of him and my parents and Lupin..." Harry reddened, imagining Snape's eyes boring holes into him for bringing up the memory Harry had stolen from him. He hurried on, "I just thought that if I focused enough on it, I could bring him to me."

Dumbledore nodded. "And it began when you were experimenting?"

"Yes. No. Well, not right then. He didn't come until after I went to bed." Snape raised an eyebrow.

Dumbledore leaned forward. "Did you say Sirius came to you last night?"

"A dream, no doubt," stated Snape dismissively.

Harry shook his head. "No. It was real. He hugged me and I felt it. He was there."

"What did he say?" asked Dumbledore.

"He said that I needed to be strong, that everything depended on me being strong last night. And then he started fading away, and that's when it started."

"So he told you what you were capable of?" asked Dumbledore.

"No, not in so many words. He just said to be strong. So then, when the vision started—" Harry faltered. He looked at Snape, who nodded impassively. Harry took that as a sign of encouragement. "I realized I was inside Voldemort's head, and I could hear his thoughts. And then when... he..." Harry looked at Snape again. He felt really uncomfortable talking about this in front of the man who had experienced it directly. "Well, the pain in my scar started, and I kind of woke up, but then I remembered Sirius telling me to be strong, and so I focused, and I forced the pain back down, and forced myself back into Voldemort's head. And then when I saw Professor Snape disapparate, I woke myself up and went to find him."

Snape sat up straight and looked at Harry incredulously. "You forced yourself back into.... You _intentionally_ read the Dark Lord's thoughts?!"

"Yeah." Harry looked to Dumbledore, whose eyes absolutely sparkled.

"Well, Harry, you are certainly full of surprises today."

"Wha—I mean," he looked from Dumbledore to Snape. "Isn't that why you called me here?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Not at all."

"Then, what—?"

"Mr. Potter, did you have your wand with you last night?" Snape asked impatiently.

"No sir. I had left it in my robe in my room."

"Did you take my wand and use it for the spells that you cast?"

"No sir!" Harry exclaimed. Were they accusing him of stealing Snape's wand?

"Harry," said Dumbledore firmly, holding his eye. "Did you use a wand at all last night when you were with Professor Snape?"

"No sir. I didn't seem to need it at the time."

Dumbledore sat back, a triumphant look on his face.

Snape leaned onto the armrest closest to Harry, resting his chin in his hand, completely lost in thought.

Harry was just about to ask them what was going on when Snape said with a slight smile, "Merlin's beard, Albus. I thought I had been hallucinating it."

"Hallucinating what?" asked Harry, alarmed by Snape's suddenly human behavior.

"Harry," said Dumbledore with a friendly smile, "Have you ever cast spells before without holding your wand?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I... well, yes, actually. When the Dementors were in Little Whinging. I dropped my wand and couldn't find it in the dark. I cast Lumos on my wand before I picked it up."

"That was almost two years ago," snapped Snape. "And you didn't think to tell anyone?!"

"Well I did kind of have other things on my mind, didn't I?" Harry shot back.

"Harry," Dumbledore interrupted, "Everyone in the wizarding world is capable of wandless magic. For instance, using magical ingredients to brew potions, or working through magical plants or animals. And of course, children will oftentimes exhibit accidental magic.

"But casting spells is a very specific sort of magic that requires the use of a wand. Only a very powerful and focused wizard can successfully cast even the simplest of spells without a wand. In my lifetime, I have only met two witches and one wizard who were able. One of them was your mother."

Harry's eyes widened, and he felt himself take one more step away from reality.

His mother had been able to cast spells without a wand. And now he was too. And this was apparently a big deal. Harry was overwhelmed by the implications. "Are you saying.... What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you have a very special gift, and we will begin your training immediately."

"You're going to train me?" asked Harry.

"Oh, no," said Dumbledore with a smile. "I require a wand for my spellcasting. No, we'll be bringing in an outside tutor."

XIXIX

The DA meeting was already in progress when Harry arrived. Watching Ginny in action, he almost felt superfluous. She had already divided the newest members into groups, and started the entire group on their lesson for the day. She was walking among the eight groups with further instruction when Harry arrived.

He was glad to see that Ron and Hermione's groups were positioned right next to each other. He went to them and motioned to Ginny to come over.

"Guys," he said, looking from Hermione to Ron, "I know you've got a lot going on right now, but I really need to talk to you after the meeting."

"Sure, Harry," said Hermione, looking very concerned for him.

After the meeting was over, the four of them sat quite comfortably in the Room of Requirement, and for the third time that day, Harry told the story of the previous night's events. But this time, he _did_ mention that Snape had almost died, and that Harry had helped him to his quarters, and gotten into his potions cabinet, and cleaned up his vomit, and repaired the broken vial, all without his wand.

"You can do wandless spellcasting and you waited until NOW to tell us?" demanded Hermione.

"I really didn't know it was a big deal."

"Harry, that is a bloody big deal!" said Ron, as exasperated as Hermione. "What did Dumbledore say?"

"He's going to bring somebody in to train me."

Ginny's eyebrows were high on her forehead. She whispered, "Harry, you're going to be more powerful than Dumbledore!"

"Oh!" shouted Ron triumphantly, pointing at Harry. "This is great, actually! You can't use your wand against V-v—You-Know-Who, but now you don't need to!" He was absolutely bouncing with excitement.

Hermione's eyes widened. "Ron, that's brilliant!" Ron beamed. Hermione looked frantic as a million thoughts raced through her head. Finally, she settled on saying, "I have to get to the library!"

"Hold up!" said Ginny. "Harry, you have to tell them the rest."

Harry glanced at the very happy Ron and Hermione and looked at Ginny doubtfully. "Ginny, I don't—"

"Tell them," she commanded.

"Tell us what, mate?"

Harry looked down. "I kind of lied about the prophecy. I mean, not really _lied_, I just didn't tell you the whole truth."

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione's face was dropping into worry again.

So Harry told his friends that the prophecy didn't specifically state that he would win against Voldemort, or that he would even live through it. All it really said was that Harry was the wizarding world's only chance.

The group was very somber when he finished.

"But think of all you can do now," said Ron.

Harry smiled weakly. "Yeah. I guess my chances are getting better."

"Harry," said Hermione reasonably. "You can do wandless spellcasting. Voldemort can't do that. Dumbledore can't even do that. And you're going to be more powerful than Dumbledore after you've finished training."

Harry nodded. "I'm certainly going to do what I can."

"You're going to kick his arse is what you're going to do," said Ginny emphatically.

Harry shook his head and laughed.

XIXIX

When Harry rounded the corner to the potions dungeon the next day, he was not surprised to be met with the sneering faces of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. He was, however, surprised when _Crabbe_ opened his mouth to insult Harry, instead of Malfoy.

"Ah, Mr. Fanclub arrives," he said snidely, with a stupid look on his face. Goyle snickered and Malfoy sneered. "It's amazing you have time for class with all the 'playing' you've been doing lately."

Harry just turned away, giving his friends a "What the hell is he talking about" look.

Crabbe stepped forward, looking rather angry for some unknown reason. "You better stay away from Luna, Potter. You two-time her with that Weasley slut and you're dead!"

In the next instant, Harry stepped forward to stand up for his sister, but Malfoy slammed him back against the wall. Meanwhile, a streak of red pushed past and engaged Crabbe in combat. The hall erupted as people rushed forward to watch the fight.

Malfoy pushed himself into Harry and spoke into his ear. "You can't escape me with your girls, Potter. And I don't think you even want to."

Snape rounded the corner and set about breaking up the fight between Ron and Crabbe, neither of whom seemed to want to stop pounding on the other.

Harry pushed Malfoy back. "Sorry, Malfoy," he said, "But I've got better things to do with my time than be _'haunted'_ by your _'phantoms'_. You're just not worth it."

Malfoy looked stricken for the second longer that Harry looked at him. Then he pushed past to see Snape pull out his wand and magic the fight to a halt with a quick _Locomotor Mortis_. Ron's and Crabbe's legs and arms snapped tightly to their sides and they both fell to the floor.

Snape took 20 points from Gryffindor and sent the two to the infirmary. He ushered the rest of the class into the dungeon and began the Potions lesson by threatening that the next time he arrived to find a fight outside his classroom, he would take 100 points from the House responsible.

"Meaning Gryffindor," Dean whispered very quietly.

Harry and Hermione set about brewing their potion with strict attention to detail, and a pleasant and respectful disposition toward their, until recently, most hated Potions Master. They had decided that with everything Snape did for the Order, he truly deserved their respect.

Snape, however, seemed to pay no mind to that decision. He was breathing down their necks during the entire lesson. When Harry handed in a vial of their completed potion at the end of class, he rattled it slightly against the other vials on Snape's desk. Snape immediately began yelling at Harry about how intolerable he was, and to see him after class.

As everyone filed out of the classroom, Harry approached Snape's desk. Snape regarded him silently with a sneer until the door closed behind the last student. Then he dropped the sneer.

"Mr. Potter," he said softly. "I understand that you may find yourself loathing me less after our recent experience. But I cannot stress to you enough that when there are other students present it is vitally important that we maintain the pretense that we do not get along."

Harry was taken aback. 'Maintain the pretense that we don't get along?' Did they get along now? Because Harry sure hadn't noticed, what with Snape still being such a prick and all.

"We are going to be working together quite a lot in the coming weeks and months. The recent development of strength in your visions can perhaps be aided by the use of a potion or two. I was finding it exceedingly difficult to sever the link, but perhaps we will find strengthening it, or at least controlling it, can be accomplished.

"In addition, it is clear to me that with Dumbledore's help you mastered Occlumency over the summer. While we work on the potion, I am going to tutor you in Legilimency as well. If you really are as powerful as Dumbledore thinks, you should be able to break through the Dark Lord's defenses and find his weaknesses. Perhaps without him noticing."

Harry's mind was reeling. Dumbledore did seem to be quite confident in Harry's potential abilities, and even Professor Snape seemed to be encouraging hope in Harry's newfound strengths. "When do we start?"

"Hmm, now there is the issue." Snape narrowed his eyes. "I would like to begin as soon as possible, but we need to find an excuse for us to be working together. You've made it into Advanced Potions, so I can't very well give you 'remedial lessons' as I did last year."

Harry shrugged. The answer seemed obvious to him. "Why don't I just wear my invisibility cloak, and screw coming up with an excuse?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "Just leave the classroom door open, and I'll give you a sign to let you know when you can close the door and I can uncloak myself... oh, but I guess we'll still need an excuse in case one of your students interrupts."

They thought for a moment. Then Snape asked, "Would you be comfortable working in my quarters? It is password protected, after all, so no student could interrupt."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Very well. You will meet me in here at 7:00 tonight. I will leave the door open. You will stand directly in front of me and open your mind to me, letting me know that you are here. I will lead you to my quarters, and you may uncloak once we are inside. Is that acceptable?"

Harry nodded. "That is acceptable."

"In the meantime, Mr. Potter," said Snape very seriously, "I really must insist that you continue to exhibit your normal behavior regarding me. You are to continue to blatantly disregard the rules that I set, you are to be disrespectful, and you are to continue to call me names behind my back."

Harry fought back a laugh, and instead thought to Snape, 'Whatever you say, you greasy git.'

Snape's lips twitched as he almost—_almost_—smiled.

XIXIX

Hermione was waiting for Harry just outside the classroom with her wand out. Harry looked at her questioningly.

"I noticed Malfoy was hanging around, and thought I should be ready, just in case." She grinned evilly. "He didn't seem too happy that I was waiting for you."

Harry wondered to himself if Malfoy had been waiting around to curse him or try to shag him. Neither would have surprised him.

Ron was in the Great Hall when they arrived for lunch. Apparently, when he left the infirmary, he had decided he had no qualms with skipping the rest of Potions, and having an early lunch.

Harry filled them in on his conversation with Snape, and they all agreed to be as unpleasant as ever to him. When he asked Hermione if she would let him out of the common room portal that night while he was cloaked, Hermione looked away nervously.

"Maybe Ron or Ginny could do that...?" she asked quietly.

Ginny narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?"

"I have some research to do," Hermione demurred. Harry looked at her. She rolled her eyes and admitted, "About the prophecy."

"But last night you said there the library didn't have the books you wanted," said Ron.

Hermione opened her mouth and then closed it. Then she opened it again, but again, no words came out. She seemed to be really struggling with herself to say something out loud.

"Spit it out," said Ginny, amused.

Hermione took a deep breath, and then very slowly, as though she were speaking a foreign language, she said, "I am going to meet with Professor Trelawney."

Harry's jaw dropped. Ron laughed. "Ha! That old bat?! You? Hermione Granger, are going to meet with the biggest phony of them all?!" Hermione buried her face in her hands, ashamed at her admission.

"I _have_ to. She's the only one who has the books I need."

"Well, she's not a complete phony," said Ginny reasonably. "She did make those two prophecies."

"And she also predicted my death about a million times," said Harry. "Hermione, you hate that woman!"

"I know, I know. But it's the only way, so can we just drop it?!" She glared at Ron in particular, who stifled his laugh by clasping his hands over his mouth.

XIXIX

It was Ginny who helped Harry through the portal that night without anyone noticing. She felt an invisible hand squeeze hers as he brushed past her. She went inside and found a comfortable chair to sit in to do her homework while she waited for him to return.

Harry walked into Snape's dungeon classroom five minutes early. He silently moved to stand in front of Snape, and thought to him, "In direct disregard for your rules, I have arrived at 6:55 instead of 7:00."

Snape looked up and glared through the emptiness of space where Harry stood.

He packed up the papers he had been grading, and strode quickly from the classroom. He paused a moment before closing the door and sealing it with a locking charm. He then returned to his quarters, said the password, and entered, again pausing for a moment before closing the door behind him.

"Mr. Potter," he said firmly. Harry waited a second to uncloak himself. Snape noticed the intentional pause, and said, "We have much to accomplish this evening. First off, we should discuss the capability of your visions. If you could, explain to me everything you remember about your most recent vision, and how it differed from the previous ones. It may also help if you lower your Occlumency shields surrounding your memories of these visions. I may pick up on something useful that you would not think to mention."

Harry looked at him slightly suspiciously. Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Mr. Potter, once I begin training you in Legilimency, the only way for me to monitor your progress in your stealth abilities will be for you to practice your skills on me. I assure you that I will be called to trust you as much as I am now asking you to trust me." He looked at Harry seriously. "Do you think you can trust me?"

Harry thought about the circumstances surrounding his last visit to Snape's quarters, and he nodded.

They moved to a sitting area and got comfortable as Harry began to tell him every detail he could remember of the vision. He explained the feeling he had of summoning his energy, gathering his strength to force himself back into Voldemort's mind. Snape watched him piercingly, but not unkindly. When Harry finished, he sat back, lost in thought.

Presently, he began speaking his thoughts out loud. "Perhaps something to help control the pain, since that seems to be the weakest point of control of your visions. A Pain Numbing potion would dull your senses, and anyway, you were able to force the pain to a manageable level... But if we could somehow focus your energy so that the pain never rises... but that leads back to our previous problems with severing the connection. I wonder... perhaps a Lucid Dreaming potion, altered with Focus Energy. But then I don't know that you'd even be able to sleep under such a combination... And if I added a Sleep Draught, you may not be able to wake up if need be."

Snape got up and began to pace. After a minute, he smiled to himself and shook his head.

"What?" asked Harry.

"I was thinking that in order to control all the variables, we would almost have to have you sleeping in a laboratory."

Harry smiled tentatively. "Almost... right?"

Snape smiled slightly as well. "Almost."

He sat back down across from Harry and began explaining the theory of Legilimency. The theory itself was actually quite similar to that of Occlumency. In practice, though, the magic was quite different.

Snape began by thinking words directly at Harry, maintaining eye contact. When Harry was able to see these thoughts fairly accurately, Snape pulled his thoughts back, so that he was merely thinking words with his shields lowered. Harry was able to catch a few, but was finding Legilimency very difficult.

Snape assured him he had done quite well for his first lesson. He also said that Harry would find it easier with the Dark Lord because of their magical connection. He would also find Legilimency to be easier with people who were less in control of their emotions than he was.

XIXIX

Harry was exhausted when he left Snape's quarters, but he had too many thoughts in his head to be able to sleep just yet, so he took his invisibility cloak for a walk by the lake.

He stood by the beech tree and stared up into the clear night, the cold air burning his lungs and clearing his head. The invisibility cloak wasn't very warm, but Harry didn't mind as he looked to the stars, thinking they looked like ice crystals in the sky.

"Sirius, thanks for coming by the other night," he whispered. "Although I wish we could have talked a bit longer."

Harry heard a rustle behind him. He looked through the darkness and saw another figure walking toward him. Harry quietly moved beneath the beech tree, and watched as the person walked to the edge of the lake. It was Malfoy.

He sighed deeply and stared up into the sky. His face was lit by the moon and the stars; Harry thought that he saw tears glistening on his cheeks. Apparently, Harry wasn't the only one to come out to the lake when he needed to clear his head.

Malfoy crumbled into sitting cross-legged, and put his head in his hands. He groaned desperately, "Merlin, I'm a dead man!" And he cried angrily.

Harry knew that he was angry. And that he was hurt, and a little scared. Malfoy was projecting these feelings, and Harry was catching them all.

He stood under the beech tree watching the Slytherin act vulnerable. Harry felt uncomfortable witnessing this. He felt guilty for reading Malfoy's emotions.

Malfoy rubbed his eyes, picked up a rock and skipped it over the lake. "Fuck him," he grumbled. "Who needs him?" Harry very clearly saw his own face in Malfoy's head. He took a step back.

Malfoy looked over. "Who's there?" he called.

Harry didn't answer. Malfoy looked around for a minute, and then returned to his thoughts. Harry could see it all. Part of him was trying to convince himself that Harry was not worth it. A steady stream of bad thoughts about the Gryffindor flowed through his head. Another part kept thinking about how Harry had blown him off today, and how much it hurt, and how Malfoy must not have said the right thing, and was wondering what he needed to do to get Harry alone again. He thought of Harry's face, all nervous and aroused. He shook his head and said firmly, "Give it up, Draco. It's not going to happen."

He leaned back on his hands and stared at the sky. Harry watched him, flooded with thoughts and emotions. It wasn't right that he knew all of that. He sealed his mind and swore to himself that he would not read people without their permission, or without a bloody good reason.

He had sworn off his crush on Malfoy only yesterday, but now he didn't know if he could do it. If he had hurt Malfoy, than Malfoy must actually care. It wasn't just a game and it wasn't just lust. Also, Harry thought with a bit of embarrassment, this was a real problem. His confusion about Malfoy made him feel like a regular teenager. Could he really let that go?

He made up his mind. He silently slid his cloak off and carefully concealed it at the trunk of the tree. Then he quietly walked out from under the beech tree and stretched, yawning loudly as he looked up at the sky.

"Who's there?" said Malfoy again.

Harry jumped and looked over. "Malfoy?" He walked over to him. "What are you doing out here?"

"Where's your posse, Potter?" asked Malfoy snidely.

"Where's yours?" Harry smirked and sat down next to him.

"Well, we're not all lucky enough to have a fan club," he spat.

Harry looked around. "Malfoy, we're alone. Can you cool it with that shit? It's not like we're in class."

Malfoy scoffed. "You're not really upset about that, are you? I've told you before. I have to do that. It's who I am."

"Well, you're an arse."

"It's nothing personal. I told you that. I'm just as caught up in this war as you are."

"I'm not 'caught up' in any war, Malfoy. I fight because I believe in the cause, not because Daddy tells me to."

"That was a low blow, Potter."

"Oh? Now you're concerned about low blows?"

"Hey, maybe you've forgotten, but my life depends on me openly hating you. Feel free to get all high and mighty about it, but you're the one throwing punches without a wand threatening you!"

They glared at each other for a long time.

Harry broke the silence. "You really don't mean what you say?"

Malfoy paused. "It just is, Potter. It just is."

They sat in silence again, looking at the stars, looking at the lake.

"Is it you that's been attacking the DA members?" Harry asked suddenly.

Malfoy looked affronted. "I would not stoop to attack third years," he said seriously.

Harry nodded. "I didn't mean what I said today, about you not being worth my time."

"How did you know I wrote that note?"

Harry grinned, leaned over and whispered, "I guessed."

Malfoy leaned in quickly, before Harry sat back up. Harry paused, struck by their closeness. Malfoy's penetrating eyes locked onto Harry's. "I meant it," he said.

Harry's heart was pounding. His mouth went dry. His stomach was tied in knots.

But slowly, the two leaned into each other. Malfoy sensuously brushed his lips against Harry's. Harry thought the light touch just might drive him insane. His mouth was so arousingly soft.

Harry pushed forward and took Malfoy into a deep kiss. Malfoy gasped. He reached up and pulled Harry to the ground. They rolled in the cold, damp grass, drinking each other in, feeding off of each other. They tugged desperately at each other's robes, letting their hands freely explore the fabric that kept them millimeters apart.

Then slowly and carefully, Malfoy began to pull Harry's robe off. Harry resisted, but Malfoy whispered into his neck, "Come on, Potter. Trust me." He nibbled on Harry's earlobe, and continued undressing him. Then he guided Harry's hands in undressing himself.

Harry couldn't think anymore. He was so lost in the moment, the heat of their bodies coming together with the cold air skimming their bare skin. The night sky was passion in his veins, the stars melting in with Malfoy, pushing himself inside Harry. Harry clawed at him, wondering how he got there, never wanting it to end.

Malfoy trembled as he came inside Harry, breathing into Harry's ear. He looked to his hand in between them. Harry hadn't come. He rolled Harry on top of himself, gently guiding him in.

Harry couldn't believe the feeling. He looked down at Malfoy, who was so beautiful Harry wanted it cry. Malfoy pulled him into a kiss while Harry thrust into him. It felt so natural. He gasped as an explosion of pleasure shot through him.

The lovers lay on their cloaks, wrapped up in each other until the cold air became noticeable again. They silently stood up and dressed.

"It's late," said Malfoy. "It wouldn't do for us to get caught together."

"You go first," said Harry.

Malfoy nodded, and stepped toward him. Very awkwardly, he kissed Harry goodnight. Then he turned around and made his way back to the castle. Harry watched him go. After a few minutes, he gathered his invisibility cloak, and, covering himself, returned to Gryffindor Tower.

Ginny was alone in the common room when he returned. She was dozing over a book by the fire, but stood up when she heard him.

"How'd it go?"

Harry shrugged. He just knew he had a goofy grin on his face. "Okay," he said. "Legilimency is pretty hard."

Ginny narrowed her eyes and glared at Harry.

Harry looked at her innocently. "What?"

"I'm really hoping it wasn't Snape that gave you that hickie!"

Harry turned red, grinning. "Uh, no."

She looked angry. "Who was it?"

Harry panicked for a second. He _had_ promised Ginny he would tell her everything. But it wasn't just his secret... He was about to tell her this, but then she held up her hand.

"Wait a minute... I'm not a masochist. I don't want to know." Harry breathed relief. "Good night, Harry," she said curtly. She turned on her heal and went upstairs.

XIXIX

Harry told his friends over breakfast about his meeting with Snape. Ron kept poking fun at Harry, trying to get him to tell him who gave him the hickie.

"Come on, mate! Was it Luna?" Hermione kicked him under the table. Ron looked hurt. "What'd you do that for?"

Professor McGonagall strode up to the table. "Mr. Potter," she said sharply. "You are to report to the headmaster's office after breakfast."

"Yes ma'am," said Harry. He looked over to the teachers' table, but Dumbledore was absent from it.

"Is something wrong?" asked Ginny.

Harry shook his head. "No, probably my new instructor has arrived."

Harry was right. He walked into Dumbledore's office to see a young wizarding couple chatting pleasantly with the old headmaster. They turned to look at him, their gazes flicking briefly to his scar.

"You must be Harry!" said the woman, with a warm smile. She had stylishly fashioned short brown hair, and very kind eyes. Harry smiled at her and nodded slightly.

"Harry, I'd like you to meet a very old friend of mine," said Dumbledore, gesturing to the young man.

The young man stood up and stepped toward Harry with his hand outstretched. His hair was even messier than Harry's. He had a very friendly smile, and struck Harry immediately as kind of a nerd.

"Harry, it's good to finally meet you. I'm going to be your wandless spellcasting instructor."

He shook Harry's hand happily.

"I'm Nicolas Flamel."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N Thank you, everyone who is reading, and thank you especially if you also review. Could someone please email me the wording of the prophecy? I can't find it on the HP lexicon site. I would really appreciate it.

Wintermoon2: Yay! Katirocks! And you so rock! I love your new chapters!

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: I agree, Luna and Draco are both confusing people. But that's why I like them so much. I don't know about Ginny being a dominatrix, although that is an interesting image. Red hair, black leather...

Wildvictoria: Most gruesome curse? I'm taking that as a compliment. Thanks for coming back.

Spider-monkey Demon: Thank you muchly. Say, I don't know you, do I?

Rach- are your fears alleviated somewhat? And thanks for the compliment

Pamela: GAH! Here! Read it! Hope you enjoy!


	9. Wandless Spellcasting

X

XIX

XIXIX "Wandless Spellcasting" XIXIX

"Nicolas Flamel?" asked Harry. "But I thought you'd be..."

"Older?" asked the young-looking wizard.

Harry smiled nervously and nodded. He had actually thought that he would be dead.

"Don't get him started, Harry," said the young woman sitting across from Dumbledore, rolling her eyes. "Flattery is no good for him. He's an old cuck, and you should treat him as such." She gave Harry a devilish wink. Nicolas laughed.

Harry fought down his smile, drew himself up and then fell into a very low bow. In his most pompous voice, he intoned, "I am very pleased to meet you, sir and madam."

The Flamels burst out laughing. "I like him," said Nicolas. His wife agreed.

Harry grinned. He felt very comfortable with them already, like they were old friends.

Nicolas patted him on the shoulder and motioned to a chair, "Please, come sit down. As I said, I'm going to be your wandless spellcasting instructor, although both Perenelle and I can cast... oh, did I introduce you to my wife, Perenelle?"

"Um, no. Hi."

"Hi, Harry."

"Well, like I was saying, we can both cast without a wand, but Perenelle has focused her energies over the centuries on her potions abilities, so she is going to be working with Professor...

"Snape," Perenelle supplied happily.

Nicolas nodded, "...with Professor Snape on your very unique dilemma with You-Know-Who."

"Yes," said Perenelle, leaning forward. "I haven't been this excited about a new potion in well over a century. Not to make you feel like a lab rat," she grinned slyly, "But I'm going to have so much fun experimenting on you!"

Harry laughed, pretty sure (well, at least _hoping_) that she was joking. He looked at Dumbledore to see if perhaps he knew, but if he did, he didn't let on. He just sat there smiling, his eyes twinkling.

"Harry, you will begin to train with Nicolas tonight. I just wanted the three of you to meet before you headed to class this morning. I believe Professor Sprout will be waiting for you."

"Yes sir," said Harry. He nodded to Nicolas and Perenelle. "It was good to meet the two of you."

"Nice to meet you, Harry."

"See you tonight."

XIXIX

"He asked you to be his twin?!" asked Hermione incredulously.

"He didn't even know what it was until I explained it to him. And he thought it was a good idea, so he asked me almost immediately."

"You said no, didn't you?"

"Kind of..."

"What do you mean, 'kind of'?"

"I said I'd be his sister."

"Ginny!" Hermione groaned as she looked at her friend.

"Hermione, you should have heard him talking about how much he relies on me," said Ginny, defending herself. "He needs me. And I have to help him however I can. I mean, he did save my life. And it _is_ kind of important that he doesn't burn out, which he seems to be in very serious danger of doing."

"But Ginny, you're in love with him. You know what happens when you start a bond like that. You two probably _are_ going to wind up being twins, and that is a strictly non-romantic bond!"

Ginny pushed her dinner around on her plate with her fork. "Well, he feels strictly non-romantic toward me anyway," she grumbled. "I mean, Merlin! Did you see that hickie?!"

Hermione rolled her eyes in disgust. "If he is going out with Luna, he certainly doesn't have to flaunt it like that."

"It's not Luna," said Ginny.

Hermione cleared her throat slightly. Ginny glanced up to see Ron coming over to sit next to Hermione. "So anyway, 'Mione," she said casually, "What was it like when _you_ started menstruating?"

Ron froze in his tracks a foot away. His face paled and he seemed to panic for a second. Finally, he said, "I'm gonna go sit over _there_." He pointed to nowhere in particular and walked away very quickly.

Ginny and Hermione giggled. "Works every time. So how do you know it's not Luna?"

"She told me in the library yesterday that he's not really her type, that they didn't seem to have much of a spark at the Three Broomsticks. And anyway," Ginny shook her head with a weird smile on her face, "You are not going to believe this. She said she has a thing for..." She started to chuckle.

"Who?" asked Hermione, intrigued.

"Vince Crabbe!"

"AUG!" she squealed, and they burst out laughing. "Are you serious?!"

"Deadly. She said she's been tutoring him in transfiguration, even though he's a year ahead of her, and that he's really not that bad a guy. But she's worried that, because of his father, he's going to join the Death Eaters too, so she's putting off any sort of relationship with him."

"I don't believe it," said Hermione.

"I told you that you wouldn't."

"Although, it does make sense now why Crabbe was being such a prick yesterday."

Ginny scowled. "I can't believe those guys. Just because the Slytherins shag everybody they go out with, they think that I have. Bloody prats, the lot of 'em."

Hermione looked over at Harry. "But who is it? It can't be Cho. She won't even come to the DA meetings this year."

Ginny shrugged and drank the rest of her pumpkin juice. "Hey, whatever happened with your meeting with Trelawney last night?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes in distaste. "Ginny, that woman is so infuriating, up in that tower with all her smelly incense! I don't know why anyone would choose to take her class instead of Firenze's."

"Well, her class is easy, and I for one don't care enough about Divination to want to put too much effort into it."

"Way to skim by," said Hermione.

"Thanks," said Ginny.

"Anyway, she said she was worried that my 'non-seeing' aura would cause problems with the 'vibrations' in her books, or some nonsense like that. And she would only agree to let me read them if I agreed to let her tutor me privately in the divinatory arts."

"No!"

"Yes."

"So what are you...?"

"I agreed. It's the only way to get to read the books she has, and she does have quite a collection."

"Way to sell out," said Ginny.

"Thanks," said Hermione.

XIXIX

When Harry came to dinner that night, he was heading to sit by Ginny, but Ron flagged him down. "Over here, mate! You do _not_ want to be a part of that conversation, trust me."

Harry shrugged and sat by Ron. They talked about Nicolas and Perenelle, and about Snape. They talked about how stressed out they were with their classes, and how it was going to get worse next week when they had Quidditch practice every night to ready themselves for the Hufflepuff game. They talked about Quidditch, and whether the Chuddley Cannons really did have a chance at the World Cup this year.

Ron kept looking over at Hermione, but Harry could tell that Ron clearly did not want to talk about what was going on with her.

Harry kept looking over at Malfoy, but Ron had no idea that anything had gone on between them, so he was unaware of how upset Harry was about Malfoy's fresh round of insults he had fired at Harry's friends today.

Harry tried to act like he wasn't watching Pansy drape herself all over Malfoy, and he wondered if he hadn't made a really big mistake the night before. He hadn't meant for it to happen, it just kind of... did. And it had been really good.

But as Harry watched Malfoy talk to his friends with his arm slung around his girlfriend, he thought about the new lows Malfoy had sunk to in insulting Ron and Hermione today in the halls.

Harry was infuriated.

And hurt.

He had been distracted all day trying to figure out what to do. He and Malfoy hadn't planned on meeting each other again. They didn't have any sort of understanding with each other. He had no idea what Malfoy had thought about him after walking away the night before. Was this a game, after all? Was Malfoy using him?

Harry cleared his head. He was walking up to the third floor to meet with Nicolas for his first wandless spellcasting lesson. The day had gone by in a blur of distraction, but Harry certainly did not want to miss the next few hours.

He walked into a grand room that was absolutely bathed in light. Harry cocked his head as he looked around. The walls were lined with bookshelves that were full of random items. There were two chairs and a small table placed in the exact center of the room. Harry was fairly certain he had never been in this room, but it was oddly familiar.

"Ah, Harry," said Nicolas, rising from one of the chairs. "Right on time. I was wondering what type you were."

"Excuse me?" said Harry, as he dropped his book bag on the floor by the door.

"Oh, you know. Some people are always early, some are always late. You? Right on time. Almost to the second." He grinned widely, and Harry smiled. He really liked him, but Nicolas was definitely a geek.

"And you're always early?"

"Indubitably. When you got nothing but time, you learn how to use it. Shall we?" He motioned to the table, and the two sat down.

Harry felt his feet kick something under the table so he looked down. His toe was nudging a large iron handle to a trap door. Harry's eyes widened slightly and he looked around, recognizing the shape of the room. "This is where you hid the Sorcerer's Stone!" said Harry.

Nicolas nodded. "I've always liked this room. It was a common area for all four Houses when I was a student. Perenelle and I used to come here to study together."

"You went to Hogwarts?" asked Harry, amazed.

"Oh, yes. I graduated in 1343. Came back to teach two hundred years later. But Perenelle likes to travel, so we didn't stay very long."

"What House were you in?"

"I was in Hufflepuff. Perenelle was in Ravenclaw."

Harry just stared at him, wide-eyed. Then he blurted out, "How old were you when you created the Sorcerer's Stone?"

Nicolas chuckled. "I assume you are referring to our young appearance?" Harry nodded, too curious to be embarrassed. "I was 56, as a matter of fact—a very old wizard by standards of the day. The Elixir of Life that I brewed maintained us at that ripe old age for nearly a century. During that time, Perenelle developed a fascination with brewing potions, and eventually was able to develop an improved Elixir that restored our youth. Brilliant work, actually." Nicolas shook his head, a wry smile on his face. "I've tried for centuries to get the historians to make note of that accomplishment, but they only care about the Stone and the original Elixir. Improvements on it make no difference to them!"

"How long have you and Perenelle been able to spellcast without wands?"

"Hmm... I suppose it was about the time Perenelle developed the second Elixir of Life that we realized we could. Of course, our power has continued to grow throughout our lives, so we should have realized it would happen at some point.

"You see, witches and wizards have varying degrees of raw magical power. This magical power is dispersed, and is very difficult to focus. The shape of each wand and its magic core helps to focus this magic, drawing it from the witch or wizard in order to complete the spell." Harry nodded.

"But after living a century and a half, Perenelle and I had so much raw magical power that it is actually quite easy for us to focus it. However, if either of us were to cast a spell that would require most or all of our raw power, we would probably go ahead and use a wand so that we wouldn't have to worry about focusing our power so much; we could just focus on the spell."

"Sooo..." said Harry, "That means you two are way more powerful than Voldemort. Why don't you kill him?"

Nicolas paused. "We're not fighters, Harry. If the outcome of a duel were solely dependent on who was the stronger witch or wizard, Perenelle or I could easily defeat You-Know-Wwho. But that's just not the case. Our energies are based on healing, friendship, life and love. We wouldn't last a minute against him."

Harry thought about how he had immediately fallen into friendship with the two, and how they had started joking around after only sharing a few sentences of conversation. He didn't suppose that people who radiated so much kindness could very well tackle a powerful dark wizard like Voldemort.

"Can I ask another question?"

Nicolas nodded.

"You said it took you a hundred and fifty years to be able to do wandless spellcasting. But Dumbledore told me my mother was able to do it, and she was only 21 when she died."

Nicolas nodded sadly. "Your parents were great people, Harry, and very powerful. Your mother had only just revealed her abilities when they had to go into hiding. If I remember correctly, she was changing you when it happened. She turned away for a second and you decided to crawl off the table. She cast a Catch charm before she realized she didn't have her wand in hand."

Harry was staring at the table.

"Oh, I'm sorry to embarrass you with baby stories. I remember, just barely, how much teenagers hate that."

"No, it's okay," said Harry. "It's actually the first one I've ever heard."

Nicolas nodded and they sat in silence for a moment. Then he said suddenly, "Well, why don't we start simply." He looked around at the bookshelves. "_Accio_ jewelry box," he said, and a jewelry box with a hinged lid flew from a shelf into his empty hands.

"Now, Dumbledore tells me you already used Alohomora without a wand, so why don't we start there."

Harry nodded. Nicolas made sure the lid was locked shut, and then Harry said, "_Alohomora_."

The lid was still locked.

"_Alohomora_," said Harry again.

He tried the lid again, but it was still locked.

"Harry, I want you to focus all of your thoughts, all of your energies, on opening this jewelry box."

Harry nodded and narrowed his eyes. I _have_ to open this box, he thought. "_Alohomora_."

The lid remained locked.

"_Alohomora_."

"_Alohomora_."

"_Alohomora_."

"Okay, okay, okay! Harry, close your eyes. I want you to meditate for a moment. Imagine that your raw magical power is a light surrounding you, like your aura. I want you to focus on it, and feel your way around it. Go to the center of this power, and hold onto its core."

Harry took a deep breath and imagined his power, searching for its core. It seemed to flow through his veins. He could feel it pulsing within him, in time with his heart. His heart was a glowing light, pumping his magic as it pumped his blood.

He put his hand on the jewelry box lid. "_Alohomora_," he said softly. He opened his eyes, and looked at Nicolas for a second, before turning his attention back to the box. He carefully pulled at the lid with his thumb.

It was still locked. Harry could feel his frustration mounting.

"Damn it!" he said loudly. This was a simple spell. He had already done it.

"Harry," Nicolas said soothingly, "I want you to go back to your magical core."

'Yeah, yeah, yeah,' thought Harry, 'Magical core.' His thoughts glanced to his lighted heart pumping magic, and he nearly yelled in frustration, "_Alohomora_!"

Immediately, he felt a shock wave run from his heart through his arm and to his hand, which was still touching the jewelry box. The lid exploded off its hinges and flew across the room, splintering into pieces as it struck the stone wall above a bookcase.

Harry and Nicolas both jumped. Harry looked at the pieces of jewelry box lid that lay on the floor, and then turned back to Nicolas apologetically.

"I, I—"

Nicolas narrowed his eyes and nodded firmly. "Good!" he declared. "Next time, try a little more control.

Harry breathed relief.

Nicolas looked around. "_Accio_... Actually, why don't you try it? Bring that vase over here."

"_Accio_ vase," said Harry, focusing his magical core toward the pale blue vase on top of the corner bookcase.

The vase stirred, and fell off the bookcase. Harry focused, and it swooped back upward just before hitting the floor. It came a few more feet toward them, and then crashed.

"Hmm," said Nicolas. "Harry, take out your wand."

Harry complied. Nicolas got up and motioned Harry to follow him. They walked to the nearest window and turned to face the room. Nicolas looked around, as though sizing up the room.

"Here, let me see that," he said to Harry.

Harry handed Nicolas his wand. Nicolas promptly turned around, opened the window, and threw the wand through.

Harry experienced a second of horror as he watched his wand fly out into the darkness, quickly disappearing from view. He threw out his hand after it, as though he could catch it if he stretched far enough.

"_Accio_," he breathed.

His wand immediately flew into his outstretched hand. Harry turned on Nicolas.

"Why did you do that?!" he demanded.

"To see if it would work," said Nicolas simply. "And it did." He flashed a goofy grin.

Harry gaped at him. "You should have warned me."

"No, it wouldn't have worked if I had warned you. But did you get it? Did you feel it? Try it with that clock over there."

Harry's heart was pounding. "_Accio_ clock," he said absently, holding out his empty hand. The clock flew into it.

Nicolas smirked. "Good. Now try it without the wand."

Harry blushed and shoved his wand into his pocket. "_Accio_ statue," he said.

A small statue of a gargoyle flew across the room. Harry smiled. It was getting easier to focus.

They worked on simple spells for the next hour. They especially enjoyed the few minutes they spent breaking things for Harry to put back together. Before Harry left, Nicolas reminded him to always have his wand with him when he cast spells unless he was with people he could trust to keep the secret. It would be a simple mistake for Harry to spellcast without a wand in front of someone who might report it to Voldemort.

XIXIX

Harry grabbed his book bag on the way out the door and headed through the halls. He hadn't made up his mind all day about whether or not to go to the lake tonight. Part of him had wanted to, but part of him thought he would be an idiot if he did. But when Harry left the meeting with Nicolas, he felt powerful and confident. It wouldn't matter if he and Malfoy had a fight about Malfoy's behavior. Harry could handle that.

It wouldn't matter if he didn't even show up.

Harry paused before taking out his invisibility cloak. He could handle that, couldn't he? It wasn't as though he and Malfoy had any sort of understanding between them.

He started to close his bag around the cloak.

No. He was going. He pulled out his invisibility cloak, covered himself, and headed out into the night.

He walked silently through the grass to the beech tree, and sat down below it. He was alone by the lake. He pulled the cloak off of him and stowed it in his book bag. He ran his hands through his hair and looked out over the lake.

Just minutes ago, he had felt so good. He was ready for anything that Malfoy might fire at him tonight. But as the minutes wore on, his confidence waned.

Harry sighed. He had to admit to himself that while he had thought that he wanted a real problem with Malfoy, he would actually prefer to feel real without the problems. He glared at the lake. He was stupid to have let it go this far. Now he was sitting out by the lake in the cold and Malfoy was probably in the dungeons shagging his girlfriend.

Harry heard a shuffle in the grass behind him, coming toward him from the castle. He didn't look up. He pretended not to hear. He was utterly indifferent. Malfoy had not gotten to him at all. He didn't care if that was even him.

The shuffling feet stopped right next to him. Harry didn't look up, but in his periphery, he could tell who it was. He fixed his eyes on the lake. Malfoy sat down next to him.

Harry stared at the lake. Let Malfoy apologize for being a prick. Let him say 'sorry to keep you waiting'. Let him say he broke it off with Pansy, and bugger to his father and anyone else who wanted to keep him from being with Harry.

Let him say _something_.

But they sat in silence for a long time. Harry cursed himself for breaking first, and looked up at him. Malfoy was staring at the lake. He looked pretty upset. That caught Harry off guard. Once again, his focus on his own thoughts had kept him from realizing someone else was hurting.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Malfoy shook his head, his eyes still on the lake. "Bloody awful day, is all." He fell silent again.

Harry debated if he should try to use Legilimency to find out more. But it wouldn't be right.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"Yeah, right," said Malfoy angrily.

"I mean it," said Harry.

"What do you care?" spat Malfoy. Harry was taken aback. "About me personally? Not a whole lot. Remember?" He turned to Harry. "I don't know why I came here. You put on a good show, talking with me like you really give a damn what I have to say. Even after the veritaserum you spoke with me like we were old friends. Right after telling me you didn't give a shit. It's all an act with you, isn't it, Potter?" He stood up to leave.

Harry stood up too and glared at the angry Slytherin. "It just so happens that I lied, Malfoy," he spat back. "I happen to think you're an okay guy when you're not parading around in front of your friends like the world is yours to step on. So don't feed me any bullshit about how my life is a show."

"You think I'm stupid, you bloody prat? You can't lie when you're on veritaserum," snapped Malfoy, his voice rising.

"I did. The effects weren't that strong."

"Bullshit. I couldn't stop from telling you things."

"Maybe you wanted to tell me things," Harry replied snidely.

"Bugger off!"

Harry could feel his temperature rising. He couldn't believe Malfoy's nerve. "What crawled up your arse, Malfoy?! You're having a bad day? So bloody what! Don't take it out on me. I'm not the one picking fights in the halls, insulting your friends!"

"You stupid arse! How many times do I have to tell you—I have to do that!"

They stood glaring at each other with their fists clenched, breathing hard. Malfoy sneered at Harry, and Harry sneered back. Then Malfoy stepped forward and pulled Harry into a violent kiss.

Harry pushed him. "Sod off."

He stalked to the trunk of the tree to grab his book bag. Malfoy grabbed him from behind, turned him around and kissed him again, clawing at Harry's back, pulling him in. Harry pushed him back, but Malfoy held tighter. He pushed Harry backward into the tree trunk. He slid his hand down Harry's back, grabbed his behind and pushed his hips into the trapped Gryffindor.

Malfoy pulled back a bit and leered seductively at him. He could feel that Harry was aroused. Harry ran his hand up Malfoy's side. Malfoy loosened his grip in reply, and Harry shoved him. Malfoy stumbled backward.

"I said sod off!"

"What the fuck is your problem?" asked Malfoy.

Harry glared at him for a second. Then he reached down to grab his bag and stormed off.

"Potter!" called Malfoy, running up behind him. "Potter, look, I was just blowing off steam. I shouldn't have done that."

Harry kept walking. Malfoy was jogging backwards next to him.

"Potter, come on. Let's go talk. I'll be nice, I promise."

Harry shook his head. He refused to make eye contact with him.

"Potter, please. Come on." They were getting near the castle. Malfoy stopped and looked after him. "I'm sorry," he said, dejectedly.

Harry turned around and caught his eye. He opened his mind. Malfoy's thoughts were a mix of cursing himself for being so rough on Harry, and cursing himself for breaking down and apologizing, when a Malfoy never apologizes. Harry stared at him for a few moments, and then closed his mind.

"Okay," he said.

Malfoy cocked his head toward the lake, but Harry shook his head.

"I'll meet you tomorrow night and we can talk then, _if_ you lay off on my friends tomorrow. You can still insult me in order to fulfill your obligatory arsehole quota. Deal?"

Malfoy nodded. "Deal."

Harry turned and walked inside. He told his friends all about his evening with Nicolas. When Ron asked him why he was in such a cruddy mood when he had done so well, Harry replied simply, "I saw Malfoy on the way back."

His friends nodded. They understood.

The next day, as promised, Malfoy laid off of Harry's friends, and only picked on him. He was arrogant and snide and insulting, and true to his word.

Harry met him at the lake the next night. They talked for two hours, and then shagged for another.

Harry found it rather easy to keep from mentioning the things he could not trust a Malfoy to know, since Malfoy spent most of the time talking. He told Harry everything about his life. Harry began to wonder if he had ever had someone listen to him before who was truly interested in what he had to say. Himself, Harry was fascinated. They had led remarkably similar and remarkably opposite lives.

He only wondered that they had never discovered this before.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading. Please review.

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: But Harry is of such high moral standing. It wouldn't be right for him to sacrifice who he is just to play with a new toy! So long as he can control his gift, he should definitely not abuse it. But yeah, he's gonna be way-powerful.

Wintermoon2: Thanks for the prophecy. Very useful indeed. I decided to throw the Crabbe/Luna thing in there, because, um, remember high school? There were always crushes in the most unlikely places. And it always seems that the Slytherins are segregated, but surely they're bound to go for Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs too. Although, probably not many do Gryffindors. Openly, at any rate ;) When ya gonna update?!!

Vasquaz: Ginny's trying to be strong and selfless even though she's in love and wants to get her way. She's just pulled in different directions, doing the best she can.

Spidermonkey-Demon: Thanks! And sorry that we don't actually know each other. I haven't finished your story, by the way. I'll get to that as soon as I can! Hopefully I can keep the wandless magic interesting. Others have done so well with it (see Blast From the Past by Wintermoon2), and I'm afraid I'll get trite. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Pamela: GAH! Here it is! Again! Have fun! By the way, do you have an account here? And if so, which Pamela are you?

GotRyceB: Harry's not blind, he's just a 16 year old boy with lots of things to think about. And he thinks of Ginny as his sister... okay, maybe he's a little thick. Oh, and sorry, but this is an angsty story. I can make no promises on the ending. :(

Gemini72: Oh really? Do you mean it? Hey, EVERYBODY!!! Gemini72 thinks I should be getting way more reviews! Did you hear that, hundreds of people who are reading without reviewing? Personally, I think that Gemini72 is right! Rock on. Thanks.

Chang Wumei: I'm glad you like it! More to come! And Ron probably has a chance with Hermione. We'll just have to hope that he does better than Harry did with Cho, no?

Flounder2: Thank you so much! Your review made me happy and giggly. I hope you continue to read and enjoy!


	10. Power Without Control

X

XIX

XIXIX "Power Without Control" XIXIX

'I'm with Hermione in an empty classroom and she's suggesting spells for me to try to cast without my wand. It's fun to experiment, but she can't give me direction the way the Nicolas can. My spellwork is really sporadic and shaky.

'I'm disappointed by this, even though the very fact that I can do wandless spellcasting makes me more powerful than Voldemort, more powerful than Dumbledore.

'I can't believe that this is my life. I don't feel unusual. Wandless spellcasting doesn't feel unusual. I could do this two years ago, but it never occurred to me it was something special. I feel like I'm in a fog of some sort. A dream.

'I'm a fantasy of myself.

'Hermione's telling me about what she is learning about prophecies. Trelawney made her read tea leaves. Hermione claimed to have seen a grim in hers, an obvious dig on Trelawney's last attempt to teach her how to read tea leaves. Trelawney must not have gotten it. She let her read a book as a reward.

'Hermione says that prophecies predicting someone's downfall have a 70 rate of accuracy. But she hasn't yet found data about prophecies that specify someone as the cause of someone else's downfall. Apparently, person-specific prophecies are often destroyed after the person's death if the prophecy didn't come true. They are assigned "false prophecy" status, rather than "inaccurate prophecy" status for some reason. She's still trying to figure that one out.

'My friend who doesn't believe in Divination is reading books owned by a person who has predicted my death thousands of times, searching for statistics that will validate that the prophecy of my battle with Voldemort is true, and can be accurately translated to mean that I will conquer him and not die.

'That's irony for you.

'When we're done we go to dinner, and Ginny tells me all the plans she has for tonight's DA meeting. Asking her to help me was one of the smartest things I have ever done.

'Ron tells me some ideas he has for the Quidditch practices. Next week we're having practice every night in preparation for the Hufflepuff game. Then three weeks later is the Slytherin rematch. Ron comes to me with practice ideas kind of sheepishly, like he's afraid I'll think he's stepping on my toes. But they're really great ideas, and I'm so distracted lately. I can't focus on anything. I'm always lost.

'When I'm in class, I think about Legilimency. When I'm at Quidditch practice, I think about wandless spellcasting. When I'm in the common room, I think about my upcoming potions experiments with Snape and Perenelle. When I'm in DA meetings, I think about the war.

'And then, I'm always thinking about Malfoy. I can't take watching him like this during meals, with his girlfriend hanging all over him. That's it. Starting tomorrow morning, I'm sitting on the other side of the table.

XIXIX

Just over a hundred people showed up to the DA meeting that night, including a large group of first and second years who had previously been too shy to go to the meetings. Ginny and Harry split their two divisions into seven platoons based on skill and ability. The youngest platoons were led by third or fourth years. The oldest platoons were led by the most powerful veteran DA members.

The platoons spent the first hour practicing spells by dueling. Harry and Ginny walked from platoon to platoon within their divisions, amazed by the swift progress.

The platoons spent the next two hours battling each other. One by one, each of Harry's platoons scrimmaged against a comparable platoon from Ginny's division. The rest of the DA lined the walls, watching the battles through the shields they had cast around themselves, yelling support.

Ginny's platoons won five of the seven matches. Afterwards, she chastised Harry for not encouraging cohesion among his groups.

"But we get new members every meeting," Harry countered. "The groups change from day to day."

"All the more reason to encourage group unity. They're not going to get the opportunity to choose who is around them when they are attacked by Death Eaters. They have to be able to join together with anyone and everyone who is there to form a temporary camaraderie when faced with a common enemy."

"But we can't keep re-dividing them every time get new members. It just takes too much time."

"I know," agreed Ginny. "We might want to keep the platoons as they are now, and just keep adding members to them as necessary. If they get big enough, we can split the platoons into squads. Then maybe we could randomly pair the squads from time to time, so that they still feel comfortable working with whoever happens to be there."

Harry laughed. "Lupin was right. This really is becoming an army."

Ginny narrowed her eyes. "It won't if you can't get your division to work together. Maybe you should get each of your platoons to choose a mascot or something. That might help overcome some of the inter-House rivalry within the platoons."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, if they have a common symbol, maybe they can get past the House symbols that separate them."

Harry glanced at the clock and then wondered if it had always been there on the wall of the Room of Requirement. Ginny sighed.

"Harry, at some point I expect you to tell me who it is that you are always sneaking off to see." Harry looked at Ginny guiltily. "Whoever it is, is distracting you from a lot of things you're working on. Your mind is always somewhere else, and you are always frustrated about something. It's not like you to keep secrets, so I know that this... relationship or whatever it is can't be good."

Harry opened his mouth to make excuses, but Ginny cut him off.

"I'm just saying that I'm here for you. I'm your sister and I expect you to come to me, okay?"

"Okay," said Harry quietly.

He slipped on his invisibility cloak. The door opened and closed, and Ginny was alone. She sighed. It was really hard to shut out her own feelings in order to be there for Harry for _anything_, including romances and heartache.

She thought about the Order, and the latest news. She and Ron didn't get much information from their parents, but their older brothers wrote them regularly with news in code. Things outside were getting worse.

If the prophecy was true, and Harry was the only one who could put an end to all of this, then it was more than worth it to her to help Harry in any way she could. She'd do it even if the fate of the wizarding world didn't depend on him. He was worth it.

XIXIX

Harry made his way out of the castle. So far, he was always the first one out to the lake, so he hadn't had to worry about Malfoy realizing Harry was invisible during his walk down to the beech tree. But this time, he saw a figure waiting for him.

Harry took a detour so that he was coming to the beech tree from another direction than the castle. He slipped off his cloak, and headed to Malfoy who was watching the castle doors.

"Oh hey, Potter," he said. "Where have you been?"

"I went for a walk after the DA meeting. No rest for the weary, and all." Harry winked and Malfoy made a face.

"Why do you bother with the DA?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "Someone's got to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. I can't believe Fudge was thick enough to suspend that class. Now, of all times!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "No, what I mean is, why you? Don't you have enough to deal with as is? I mean, Voldemort is a rather formidable enemy, and instead of preparing yourself, you're trying to prepare all these kiddies he doesn't give a damn about. He's after you, not them. When are you going to wise up?"

Harry smiled just slightly and shrugged his shoulders again. He couldn't bring himself to trust Malfoy enough to tell him anything about his extra training. "Everyone is in danger, not just me. I have to do what I can to protect them."

Malfoy shook his head with condescending disbelief. "Classic Gryffindor. Shame, really." He sighed. "Whatever. It's your ass, not mine. All I know is that if it were me, I'd be training 24 hours a day. I'd suggest you do the same."

"Maybe I will," said Harry.

"You ought to," said Malfoy. "He's not going to wait for you to say you're ready, you know. The less prepared you are, the better for him."

Harry looked at him suspiciously. "Do you know something?"

Malfoy scoffed and said sarcastically, "Of course. The Dark Lord told me all of his plans to kill you, his greatest nemesis, right after he tortured me for befriending you."

Harry stepped closer, and gently took hold of Malfoy's waist. "Well, you should have known better than mixing company like that."

Malfoy looked him in the eye, suddenly serious. "You haven't told anyone, have you, Potter?"

Harry shook his head.

"Good," he said. "I'm putting my life on the line to be here with you. You owe me for that."

"What—for the _privilege_ of shagging you? Are you saying you're here out of pity?"

"Of course not, Potter! You know what I mean."

Harry nodded, but he wasn't sure he did. Did Malfoy really think he was so much better than Harry that Harry owed him, especially after Malfoy had pursued him for so long?

Harry considered pursuing the topic, but then Malfoy started kissing Harry's neck, and all of his thoughts disappeared. He was lost once again.

XIXIX

The next morning at breakfast, the owl post brought a letter each to Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. They opened their letters in sleepy silence, each of their eyes widening as they read through them. As they reached the ends, they all looked up at each other, and yelled out at the same time.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny all yelled out, "Brilliant!"

Hermione yelled out, "Arsehole!"

They looked at each other for a second, stunned.

Then Hermione dove in. "Victor wants me to set up a meeting with you, Harry. Acting like I'm your goddamn secretary, or something!"

"What a git, 'Mione," exclaimed an indignant Ron. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, shut up, Ron!" she grumbled. "You always wanted us to break up. You'll forgive me if your comfort seems a little self-serving at the moment."

"That's not fair! You're one of my best friends. How could you possibly think that I don't really care about your feelings?!" said Ron, barely concealing his anger.

Hermione looked up at him in silence for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry, Ron. You're right. I had no right to say that."

"It's okay," he said, calmly.

"What was your letter about?" she asked.

"Huh?" Ron looked down at his hand, clutching some apparently forgotten good news.

Ginny cut in. "Fred and George are having their Grand Reopening next week! They sent us invitations!"

"Of course we can't go 'cause we have school," said Ron, "But still, it's brilliant that they're reopening!"

"It's going to be a huge party on Diagon Alley," said Ginny.

"That's great!" said Harry.

"Yeah," said Hermione, looking from Ron to Ginny to Harry. "Why didn't I get one?"

"Dunno," said Harry. "But I didn't get one either. This is from Lupin. He's been released from St. Mungo's!"

"Brilliant!" they all yelled out.

They toasted their pumpkin juice to their good news. Harry held up his glass to Professor Dumbledore, who toasted his as well. As an afterthought, Harry turned around and held up his glass to Malfoy, just like he would have done before he started sleeping with him.

Malfoy scowled at him, and Harry knew he had a hard day of fights with the Slytherins ahead of him. There was no way they would let him get away with mocking their Death Eater parents like that.

But Harry had maintained the charade, so Malfoy was safe for another day. Snape would be proud.

XIXIX

Harry and Ron both fell asleep in divination that day. They had sat a little bit away from the rest of the Gryffindors so that Lavender and Pavarti wouldn't keep them awake with their giggles about how cute Firenze was when he was stargazing. This turned out to have been a major mistake when they woke up to find that they had been quietly hit with painless hexes.

Ron was startled to find when he awoke that he could not see. An image of a serpent covered his entire field of vision. Harry found that his hair had grown quite long. In the darkness of Firenze's classroom, it had grown long enough to cover much of the forest floor surrounding him. It was so long in fact, that Harry had trouble standing up due to the weight on his head.

The Slytherins laughed nastily as they exited. The hexes had been cast quietly in the middle of class. Because of their painless nature, Harry and Ron had slept through them and class had not been disrupted in the slightest. There was now no way to prove who had cast the spells.

Harry used his wand to cut of about 15 feet of his hair so that he could walk Ron to the infirmary. They hadn't walked the length of the hallway, when it had grown at least another ten feet. Harry cut it again, but this time, was seen by Filch, who gave Harry a detention for making a mess in the hallway. During the time it took for Filch to yell at Harry, Harry's hair had grown another 20 feet.

Filch followed Harry and Ron to the infirmary. Each time Harry cut his hair so that he could continue to walk without stumbling under the weight, no matter how fast he cleaned it up with a Cleaning Charm, Filch would hit him with another detention. Eventually, a few DA members came along and helped Harry by just carrying his hair behind him so he wouldn't have to cut it anymore.

Harry had three detentions and nearly a hundred feet of hair by the time he and Ron got to the infirmary. Madam Pomphrey came in, highly put out to be seeing Harry and Ron again. "Can't you two stay out of trouble?" she demanded.

"We choose not to," said Ron wryly.

"Yeah," said Harry with a smile. "Anyway, it's the easiest way to get sent to come and visit you."

"Oh you!" said Madam Pomphrey, swatting at Harry. She performed a simple counter curse on Ron, whose vision returned nearly to normal within minutes. He still had a vague after-image of a serpent, but Madam Pomphrey assured him it would fade completely within an hour.

She gave Harry a Hair Growth Slowing potion that was often used when a witch or wizard got a haircut they particularly liked. The bad news was that it would take a full day to slow his hair growth completely back to normal. In the meantime, Harry would just have to keep cutting it. Harry groaned.

The Great Hall erupted in laughter when Harry entered for dinner. There was a certain amount of snide jeers from the Slytherin table, but most of the rest of the laughter was a good-natured ribbing that Harry took as well as could be expected. He sat once again with his back to the Slytherins.

Hermione had put a Self-Braiding charm on his hair, so that even as it grew it stayed pulled back in one neat braid. He was very thankful of that when he began eating, because it stayed out of his way, and out of the Gryffindors' food. The potion had begun to slow Harry's hair growth, so that throughout dinner, his hair only grew sixteen feet total. Ginny cut his hair twice while they ate.

One of the side effects of the hex was a voracious appetite. His body was using a lot of energy to keep the hair growing. Harry ate as slowly as he could, but Ginny remarked that he looked ravenous.

Snape swept past the Gryffindor table, pausing for a moment to sneer at Harry.

"Mr. Potter, you are well aware that the school's dress code states that male students' hair must be kept trimmed above the collar of their robes. Ten points from Gryffindor, and you will serve a detention with me tonight."

Harry could hear the Slytherins laughing. He and his friends scowled, and complained loudly to the rest of the Gryffindors of the injustice. But quietly, Harry was relieved Snape had done that. He had been nervous that his hair would grow out beneath the invisibility cloak tonight and he would be spotted going into the dungeons for his Legilimency lesson. He was sure that Snape had thought the same thing.

That night, Hermione was helping Ron catch up on his Transfiguration homework, so Ginny and Neville walked Harry down to the dungeons for his 'detention.' He told them it would probably be well past curfew by the time he was done, so he would be safe walking back alone.

He entered Snape's classroom and closed the door behind him. Snape was sitting at his desk, sneering at him.

"Mr. Potter," he said as Harry approached, "For your detention this evening, you will be scrubbing the floors of this classroom. You may not use magic, and that includes wandless spellcasting. You may go when you have finished."

Harry's eyes widened just slightly and he caught Snape's eye, and quickly read him.

He was joking.

'Very funny,' Harry thought at him.

'I thought you would think so,' Snape thought back with a small smile. "I see you have been practicing," he said aloud, after casting a silencing charm so that no one could listen from outside the classroom.

Harry blushed. "A little," he said guiltily.

Snape sneered at him. "Honestly, Mr. Potter. One does not need to be a Legilimens to know what you are thinking and feeling, when you offer the information so freely to anyone who so much as looks at you."

Harry looked at him quizzically. "Sir?"

"Your body language, Mr. Potter, your facial expressions, and your words tell all. You feel guilty about practicing on whomever it was that gave you those 'hickies', I imagine. Dumbledore helped you master Occlumency, but I wonder why he bothered when you continue to insist upon wearing your heart on your sleeve."

Harry gazed at Snape impassively. "Is this better?" he asked.

"Much. Your enemy is at this school, Mr. Potter. You are surely aware that the Dark Lord has students watching you. They watch for your reactions to every move he makes. He is watching for signs of weakness. For this reason, it was a particularly impressive move that you resurrected the DA when you did, rather than cowering morosely when attacks began to happen in your name."

"It was Hermione's idea," admitted Harry.

"Then you have chosen your friends well," said Snape. "You have also once again allowed honesty to get in the way of better judgment. If you must insist on being humble, be humble with your friends. To everyone else, you must project strength of character. The Dark Lord must never know when you are having a bad day, because he will then learn how to create more bad days for you, thus weakening you until you are in no position to fight him."

Harry nodded. "That makes sense."

They began their lesson in Snape's office, setting up a simple Alarm Charm to alert them if anyone should enter the classroom. Harry had a huge stack of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw first year essays to pretend to work on grading if someone should enter. He sat directly across from Snape, who sat behind his desk with the Gryffindor and Slytherin essays.

Snape began by explaining to Harry what to look for to pick up more complex thoughts than simple words or phrases. Harry was finding this lesson much easier than the last. He felt like he was getting the hang of Legilimency. Pretty soon, they had moved on to abstract ideas and emotions.

When Snape mimicked the mental processes of 'love', Harry was caught for a second.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded, rising from his seat. He carefully raised his Occlumency shields until they were as strong as he could muster. "You said I could trust you!"

"And you can," said Snape impassively. "You had a strong reaction to that last one, and as our minds were linked, I could not help but catch your current emotional associations with that concept."

"You were digging! I felt it!" Harry was nearly shouting now.

Snape's eyes flickered imperceptibly, but it was enough for Harry. He slipped into Snape's mind for that moment.

"What do you mean 'that powerful'? How powerful am I?! What did you see?!"

"Harry, please sit down," said Snape quietly, motioning to Harry's chair.

"No! Tell me what you saw!" Harry was fuming. He felt betrayed.

Snape stood up and leaned over his desk. He glared Harry down, his eyes blazing. The sight called to mind Professor Dumbledore when he dueled against Voldemort. "Mr. Potter," he said authoritatively, "Sit down."

Harry squared his stance and glared back at Snape evenly. "Tell me what you saw."

Snape stood up straight and folded his arms across his chest. A small smile played on his lips as he looked at Harry. Slowly the smile grew. Then he started to laugh.

Harry was taken aback by seeing Snape laugh a genuine laugh, but he stood his ground. He glared at Snape while Snape sat back down and conjured some tea and scones. He poured them both a cup of tea, and again asked Harry to sit down. Harry did so slowly, still eyeing the Potions Master.

"Have something to eat, I know you're hungry," said Snape. Harry shook his head once, and leaned back in his seat, waiting for an explanation.

"Harry, your hair has grown at least twenty feet since we've been here, but beyond that, you have been _projecting_ hunger since you arrived here. Even now, with your Occlumency shields as strong as they are, you are projecting hunger. Some of the feelings that people have are so visceral that it takes many years of effort to be able to fully cloak them. I commend you on your strength of will, but as there is food in front of you, I see no reason for you to wait any longer to satisfy you appetite."

Harry continued to glare at Snape impassively.

"Indeed," said Snape after a long pause. He sipped his own tea and waited another moment before continuing. "In the same way that you are currently projecting hunger, for the past week you have been projecting much frustration over romantic difficulties. You have concealed quite well the nature of these issues, so naturally we have been concerned."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, myself included. As I have previously explained, you are being carefully watched, and _any_ difficulties you have will be reported to the Dark Lord. While our minds were linked, you had a visceral reaction to the concept of love, projecting to me a combination of other emotions, including lust, guilt, fear, and the ever-present frustration. I attempted to sort through your projection to determine if you were in any sort of trouble."

"And what about your thoughts dealing with my power?"

"You were able to feel me sorting through emotions you were projecting. That takes an amazing amount of power. And, I might add, after our link had been severed, you must have looked past my Occlumency shields in order to know that I had been thinking about your power. That is something that the Dark Lord cannot do, and he is an extraordinarily powerful Legilimens."

Harry took a deep breath and released it slowly. He softened his glare at Snape while he thought through all of this information.

"So I'm more powerful than Voldemort at this as well?" he asked carefully.

"You're more powerful than he is. He has more control than you do. For that reason alone you are not yet ready to face him. But if you agree to continue training, you will gain more control, and you will have nothing to fear of him."

Harry looked Snape in the eye. His shields were up, but Harry could see through them. He was telling the truth.

"I can feel that, Mr. Potter."

"You just implied that that was a great feat. You must be quite powerful."

"You felt it when I sorted through emotions you were projecting. _That_ is a great feat. You are carelessly rummaging through my mind. Noticing _that_ takes only skill, of which I have plenty."

Snape was still holding his eye even though Harry had not withdrawn from his mind. He did not lower his shields, but he clearly knew that Harry could see past them. "You trust me," said Harry.

"Yes I do," said Snape. "Do you still trust me?"

In answer, Harry leaned forward and took his cup of tea. He sipped it slowly, looking Snape in the eye. Snape knew how hungry Harry was, and wondered why he wasn't eating.

"I'm projecting strength of character," said Harry.

"Beg your pardon?" asked Snape.

"That's why I'm not eating. There is no reason for me to let you know that I am hungry. I'll let my friends know when I am hungry."

Snape narrowed his eyes, but Harry could tell he was amused.

A light tone sounded. Harry quickly picked up a stack of papers and pretended to be grading them while Snape waved his wand, clearing away the tea and scones. Perenelle walked through the door.

She looked at the two with a big smile and said, "Oh, look at you two, grading papers like old chums!" She turned to Harry. "How's my long-haired guinea pig?" she asked with a light laugh.

"Perenelle, I'm starving," said Harry as he stood to hug her hello. He smirked at Snape who conjured more tea and scones, and a plate of sandwiches for Harry. Snape attempted to glare at Harry while doing so, but when Perenelle turned around, a smile forced its way onto his face.

"Severus! How do you do?" They leaned across his desk and kissed each other lightly on the cheek. Harry's eyes were wide as he watched Snape and Perenelle make friendly small talk. Snape was actually beaming with happiness.

Presently, Perenelle turned back around. "Merlin! You are hungry!" Only then did Harry realize that he was eating, and indeed was already working on his second sandwich.

"Yes, Harry was just telling me about his strength of character," said Snape, with a friendly smirk and a raised eyebrow.

Harry swallowed and said good-naturedly, "I was actually talking about trust and friendship, Sev."

"Harry, I am still your professor," Snape began.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! My bad!" The two looked at Perenelle. "The room seemed kind of tense when I walked in, so I was a bit liberal with exuding friendship. You can go back to calling each other 'Professor Snape' and 'Mr. Potter' now."

Harry looked at her wide-eyed. "You can do that?!"

"Sure thing, kiddo. Kind of neat, huh?"

Harry laughed. "Yeah!"

Perenelle walked over to stand behind Harry, and began to run her fingers across his still braided hair. "We've got to do something about this, though," she said. "You both need haircuts."

Snape narrowed his eyes at her, and this time, succeeded in his intended glare. "Perenelle, I have told you—"

"And Severus, I have told you, if you refuse to take care of your hair, the potions fumes are going to continue to make it all greasy, and will ruin it! If you let me cut it short, it won't take two seconds to apply the protective tonics in the morning—"

"I do not wish my hair to be short."

"Then take the time to apply the tonics."

"I'm a very busy man."

"Then let me cut your hair."

"Perenelle," said Snape definitively, "No."

Harry looked up and saw Perenelle make a mock-pouty face at Snape. Then she turned her warm eyes back to Harry.

"Maybe Severus won't let me help him," she cast a quick glare at the Potions Master, "But you will, right, Harry?"

Harry smiled. "Can you make it stop growing so fast?"

"Well, let's just see, shall we?" She undid the braiding charm, and ran her fingers all along Harry's scalp, massaging it softly. Her eyes were closed. Eventually she muttered "Capillus Tardus."

Harry took a deep breath. He wondered if he really could feel his hair stop growing, or if he had just imagined it. He did feel his hunger die down.

"Now, let's cut this overgrown mop!" Perenelle said happily. She walked around Harry a few times, studying him purposefully, and finally reached toward him. She pulled at his locks with her left hand. Then, with determined precision, she swept the fingers of her right hand across his hair where she wanted it cut. Harry's seven-foot-long locks fell to the ground in clumps. When she was done, she handed Harry a mirror.

His hair was shorter than he had ever worn it. It still stuck up in all directions, but at its new length, it looked to be styled in carefully messy spikes. He looked really good.

Harry smiled up at Perenelle. "Thanks!" He stood up and hugged her.

With a wave of his wand, Snape cleared up the last of Harry's fallen hair, and snapped, "Are you quite ready for the potion now?"

Harry looked up at him, caught off guard by his sudden return to Snape-ness. He nodded impassively, and sat back down. "What have you got for me today?"

"It's a variation of a simple lucid dreaming potion," said Perenelle. "We've spliced it with a very mild bonding potion to see if it aids in your locating Voldemort."

"And if you do," Snape said sternly, "You are NOT to try any of your newfound Legilimency skills. You have not yet mastered the art of treading lightly. He may recognize your capabilities. If he cannot use them to his advantage, he will certainly find a way to keep you from using them to yours."

Harry nodded. "Understood."

"And Harry," said Perenelle, "When you wake up in the mornings, or in the middle of the night if it happens, use this pen to write down your dreams. It is charmed to aid in memory retention."

"Harry," said Snape, looking Harry in the eye. He lowered his Occlumency shields completely as a show of good faith. In return, Harry did not look into his mind. "It is also charmed so that you can't leave anything out. This is not because we don't trust you, but because we may not realize something is important until later. For that reason, Perenelle and I have sworn an oath of secrecy in regards to the dealings of the making of this potion. Anything you write with this pen, or tell us, goes no farther unless you choose it to. Do you agree to this?"

"Yes, I do. Wait a minute, does this mean you can't take any credit for making these potions?"

"We're not doing this for the glory," said Perenelle. "We're doing it for you."

"But this will be a major accomplishment," said Harry.

"For which I would be killed," said Snape.

"And if I took credit for it, you would be killed. And I wouldn't want to lose my favorite guinea pig," said Perenelle with a smile.

Harry marveled that they were putting so much effort into helping him, expecting nothing in return. He wanted suddenly to hug them both and promise that after he defeated Voldemort he would tell the world how much they helped.

"Mr. Potter, kindly take your heart from you sleeve. It is rather disgusting to see such baseless gratitude."

Harry sneered in his very best Snape imitation, and said, "Quite."

Perenelle laughed.

XIXIX

Harry left Snape and Perenelle for the night once the conversation turned to arguments dealing with the complexities of potions brewing. As he slipped down the hallways, he checked his watch and realized it was probably too late to go to the lake. Malfoy doubtfully would have waited that long for him. It was a shame, really. Harry wanted to show off his new haircut.

And Harry had Malfoy (or one of his friends) to thank for it. He thought about Snape giving him detention in the Great Hall, and then pretending that he really was going to make Harry serve detention. Harry had an idea.

He slipped on his invisibility cloak and headed through the hallways, back past Snape's classroom, from which he could still hear voices. He continued past the cold and darkening dungeons, until he found himself standing in front of Snape's doorway, staring at a stone carving of a serpent that would only slither out of the way to Snape's password.

"Do you understand parsletongue?" Harry asked.

"Yes," said the serpent. "No one has spoken to me in that language in fifty years."

Harry shuddered, realizing the last person must have been Tom Riddle. All the same, he continued, "I am a friend of Professor Snape's."

"The invisible one he has brought here," said the serpent. Harry was still cloaked.

"Yes, that's me. I was wondering if you would be willing to play a bit of a joke on him with me."

"Doing what?"

"The next time he changes his password, refuse anything he suggests. Come up with ridiculous phrases instead."

"Professor Snape is very serious. This will be a great joke."

"Thank you," said Harry.

He turned and headed back to the common room.

He noted with a smile when he entered through the portrait hole that quite a few members of Gryffindor House (mostly females) dropped their jaws at the sight of Harry.

"Wow, Harry," said Ginny breathlessly. "You look incredible!"

Harry blushed bright red. He felt a bit uncomfortable that Ginny would say that, but still, he reasoned, if even his _sister_ thought he looked good, Malfoy was surely going to... well, something good.

He sat by the fire with his friends and played exploding snap until it was late. He trudged up the stairs and changed into his pajamas. Just before he climbed into bed, he cleared his mind, and then drank one vial of the potion Snape and Perenelle had given him. He laid out the pen and a piece of parchment on his beside table.

Harry climbed into bed and stared up into the darkness, waiting for sleep to take him.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading. Please review; I love it when you do!

Wintermoon2: Yay! Yes, it does have to do with his emotions, but the ability is there regardless, he just hasn't learned how to control it yet. And I'm trying to keep in mind that they're all teenagers, despite the terrific things they have done. Hence, Hermione and Ginny's way of getting rid of Ron when they wanted to talk alone. By the way, I have to email you soon- I had a minor epiphany about your sequel and I wanna see if I'm right!

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: Thank you! I'm trying to find a balance of how much fun Harry would let himself have, because he does have a lot of worries on his mind, but he can't be stoic all the time. And I'm glad you liked the subtlety. Please keep reading.

Pamela: Thanks for reading again! I'm glad you're enjoying! And don't worry about the account thing. That doesn't make you a whore. Of course, if you really are a whore, there is nothing wrong with that...

GotRyceBo: Haha, yeah, thick as cream. But sweet cream, so that's okay, right? I like Malfoy too. I can't wait until he gets more airtime in the story. Thanks for reading!

Vasquaz: That's an interesting scenario. I don't think that's going to happen in this story, so let me know when you write about it, so that I can see how it plays out! Thanks for reading!

OTAKU SQUARED: HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER. I HOPE IT IS TO YOUR LIKING! THANKS FOR READING!

Spidermonkey-Demon: What do you think are the chances that JKR will pay me royalties if she brings back a character she owns in a way that I came up with in a fanfic? Slim? None? Better than me winning the lottery? That means it's still possible, right?

Yuki Kurai: Great friend to have a good fight? Yes, yes indeed. I like that. I think that just might come up in the story now. Hmm... thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying, and yes, this will be a long story.

Plus, first announcement- I'm in the planning stages of the sequel already, because I think too far ahead. I hope everyone sticks around for it.

Thanks for reading, please review!


	11. Of Dreams and Sneaking

X

XIX

XIXIX "Of Dreams And Sneaking" XIXIX

Harry was standing in the middle of what he recognized as the room in which he and Nicolas had practiced wandless spellcasting. The room was huge, though. It was easily the size of the Great Hall. The walls were lined with shelves full of items.

He walked forward, and noticed that his footsteps echoed strangely, filling the room with a ghostly hollow sound. Comprehension dawned on him.

He was dreaming.

He looked around the room, wondering what to do now. Usually his dreams just carried themselves forward. Usually, Harry wasn't fully aware that he was really lying in bed and that everything was in his head. The Lucid Dreaming potion was definitely working.

Well, it was a dream. What _could_ he do? Could he fly?

Harry began to run, and took one flying leap. He soared into the air for a second, before heading toward the stone floor. He closed his eyes in concentration, forced himself into the air. He was flying.

He turned over, dove back toward the ground. He tumbled across the bouncy stone floor, and jumped to his feet.

What else could he do, now that he knew he was asleep?

He thought for a second about getting laid, but then remembered that Snape and Perenelle would soon be reading all about this. In fully honest detail. Perhaps he would skip the sex.

Well, he also had a Bonding potion in him, so he supposed he should see how that would work out. Was he ready to try to get into Voldemort's head?

But the Bonding potion gave him an idea. He scanned the shelves, willing it to be there, and it was. "Accio mirror," he said, and a small mirror flew into his hands. He looked into it.

"Sirius, are you there?"

Harry smiled as the face of Sirius Black replaced his own reflection. Sirius smiled up at him. "Hey, Harry. How are you?"

"Alright. I'm asleep."

"I noticed."

"Are you really here?"

"You called me. I came."

"Can you always do that? Come here when I call you, I mean."

Sirius furrowed his brow. "It is kind of difficult. But I'll always try."

Harry smiled. "Sirius, I have about a million things I want to talk to you about. I don't even know where to start."

"Well then, let's start with the most important. You accepted the prophecy."

Harry closed his eyes, thinking about the night he lost Sirius.

"I don't blame you, Harry," said Sirius, knowing what Harry was thinking. "I never did. So you can stop with all of that."

"I just... I miss you so much sometimes."

"Kid, I miss you too. Your parents say hi, by the way."

Harry looked at him in surprise. "Are they there!"

"No, not right now. But I told them the last time I saw you, and they said to tell you they love you and they're proud of you. We're all watching over you. You know that, right?"

"I hadn't really thought about it."

"Well, we are. You got tough times ahead."

"I know." Harry felt distant again, even in his own dream. "Sirius, do you know more... I mean, can you see... do you know what's going to happen?"

Sirius smiled kindly. "The prophecy is real, Harry. You have the power to defeat Voldemort. It's all a matter of what you do with that power."

Harry cast a friendly glare at his godfather. "You realize that's not much of an answer, right?"

Sirius laughed. "Sharp as a dragon's claw, you are. I can't really say anymore just yet. But I can say that you need to tread carefully with your new, um, relationship."

Harry's eyes flashed dangerously. He opened his mouth, but Sirius cut him off.

"Don't worry. I know not to mention who it is. Tell that greasy git that he can kiss my furry tail if he thinks I'm going to reveal my godson's secrets to him!"

Harry laughed. "You're not upset about it then?"

"Of course not. Just keep in mind who it is you've chosen. Keep your eyes open, you know?"

"You mean I should use Legilimency on him?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "That's your call."

"I'm not going to get any straight answers or advice from you tonight, am I?" asked Harry with a sarcastic grin.

"Not unless you want me revealing your secrets to that pointy nosed, greasy haired..."

"Friend of mine," Harry finished, eyeing Sirius reproachfully. "But, no, I don't you want you to reveal my secrets to him."

"You and Snape," Sirius laughed. "That's something, let me tell you. How's your wandless spellcasting coming?"

"Pretty well. Why didn't you ever tell me my mother could do it?"

Sirius shrugged. "I didn't know myself. Lily had apparently wanted to keep it a secret until she was trained. She figured it would only make you three more of a target. She only told James and Dumbledore, well, and Nicolas and Perenelle when they came to England to train her. But then she had to go into hiding."

Harry was withdrawing into memories that weren't his own. He imagined the fear surrounding his parents' decision to go into hiding. It must have been an awful time.

Sirius changed the subject. "How do you feel about Legilimency?"

"Okay, I guess. I mean, I'm really getting the hang of it, but I just feel so guilty whenever I use it on anyone but Snape."

"Good. Shows you've got character. But don't let that stop you from using it on Voldemort."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, that is a special circumstance, isn't it?"

"It is indeed. Have you gone into his head yet?"

"No. I wanted to talk to you first."

"I'm honored."

"You should be."

They laughed.

"I guess it's time then," they said at the same time.

"Sirius, I'm sorry I didn't ever use the mirror," said Harry, feeling like his heart was breaking.

"No problem, Harry. I understand now why you didn't."

The room began to grow dark.

"Harry, before you're gone... You've got courage, and you're strong. You've got a good heart. Use all of these things, okay? No matter how much it hurts. They'll see you through."

Harry nodded. "Sirius, I—" The room went dark. The mirror was gone.

_miss you._

Harry knew that feeling. It was quite familiar.

He reached his hand out and stroked his pet snake that was curled around a thick branch that hung from the ceiling. He was sitting at his desk, lost in thought. He was alone in his study except for Nagini.

Harry was tempted to make his way deeper into Voldmort's thoughts, but he didn't dare after Snape's warning. He stayed on the surface, just getting used to the feeling. He wanted to know it for when he needed to come back.

He stood up, walking into the bathroom. It was a luxuriously large room with a circular tub that was eight feet in diameter. He turned on the faucets, and felt the warm water as it poured forth. He stood up, looked into the full-length mirror, and began to undress.

Harry woke up.

"I did _not_ need to see that," he said aloud.

XIXIX

Harry sat at the breakfast table facing the Slytherins. He hadn't gotten to see Malfoy the night before, and he wanted to see if he could make eye contact with him—let him know he was sorry, and see his reaction to Harry's new haircut.

Filch had cornered Harry on the way to the Great Hall and told him he would be serving his detentions for the next three nights. He seemed positively filled with glee, so Harry knew that he had three very long nights ahead of him. He was wondering how to let Malfoy know this when his friends arrived to breakfast.

"You're up early," said Ginny, ruffling his short hair.

"Bad dream," said Harry simply.

"Yeah, how did it go?" asked Hermione.

"Well it was good at first. I even got to talk to Sirius." Harry launched into an explanation of everything that had happened in his dream. It was especially fresh on his mind since he had spent nearly an hour writing about it before the pen had been satisfied that he had told everything about the dream there was to tell.

"EEEWW!" they all yelled out when he got to the part about Voldemort undressing for his bath.

"So you can understand why I couldn't get back to sleep after I finished writing about it. I had to write down every little detail about his body, including his—"

"That's enough," stated Ron, pushing his plate away.

Harry laughed and winked at Ginny, who handed over a sickle. During the summer last year, Ginny and Harry had made a bet on who could disgust Ron enough to get him to stop eating. After a few weeks of making everyone sick except Ron, they had mostly given up, but kept trying from time to time. After three quarters of a year, Harry had finally won the bet.

He looked up to see Malfoy coming into the Great Hall with his arm around Pansy. Her hair was ruffled, and she looked dazed and happy. Malfoy was wearing a cocky smirk. He didn't even glance over to the Gryffindor table, and he sat with his back to Harry.

Harry growled softly, and looked angrily down at his plate. But then he remembered what Snape had said about projecting strength of character. He forced the scowl off his face and rejoined his friends in conversation.

XIXIX

The Gryffindor Quidditch team had practice Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and Harry had detention Saturday and Sunday nights, so that left Harry with precious little time over the weekend to complete his homework. He had absolutely no downtime.

Filch was indeed glad that Harry had "earned" three detentions, because Filch had just swept, mopped, and waxed the stairs of the North Tower, and wanted Harry to do the others during his detentions.

It was long, slow, arduous, boring, tiring, back-breaking, pointless work. Harry knew that if Filch would let him use magic, he'd be done with all of the Towers in one night. As it was, Mrs. Norris watched him very closely, ready to whisk off to fetch Filch at the faintest whisper of a spell. Harry only finished the East Tower Saturday night.

That night, Harry returned to Voldemort's head. Once again, Voldemort wasn't doing anything very exciting, so Harry just hung around, soaking up the surroundings and getting used to the 'feel' of Voldemort.

After a very long time, a few Death Eaters came in. They reported that they had failed again to gain control of Fudge. The man was just too well protected for anyone to get close enough to use the Imperius curse on him. Voldemort grew angry, and the pain in Harry's scar pushed him into the waking world before the imminent torturing began.

Harry wrote down everything he could remember. It was very early in the morning, but he couldn't get back to sleep. He made his way to the common room and worked on his homework. This had apparently been "essay week," because every single teacher he had had assigned at least four feet.

He eventually fell back asleep, his face pressed down on the still wet ink of his History of Magic essay. Ginny had a good laugh when she woke him up that morning.

"What's that about Native American dancing rituals?" she asked, squinting at his cheek. Harry grumbled and made his way upstairs to clean up before heading to breakfast.

Once again, Malfoy sat with his back to Harry, and did not so much as glance at him. Once again, Harry pretended that this did not bother him in the slightest.

He worked on his homework all morning, practiced Quidditch all afternoon, and cleaned stairs late into the night. He trudged up the now pristine steps to the Gryffindor common room, exhausted and aching all over. He really hoped Voldemort would be in a non-violent mood tonight. And that he would have no desire to take a bath or otherwise undress his person. Harry really wanted a full night's sleep.

No such luck. Voldemort was highly agitated when Harry arrived in his head, and a searing pain throbbed in his forehead. But Harry held on, forcing down the pain, when he realized that Snape was in the room. He had the immediate impression that the Potions Master was in no danger, but he held on to make sure.

Snape was informing him that Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel were current guests of Dumbledore's at Hogwarts, and would be staying for an unspecified amount of time, and for an unspecified reason. All Dumbledore would tell him was that his old friends had come for a visit. Both of the Flamels had shown a great interest in Snape's potions laboratory. They were far more powerful than Snape, and affected him in strange ways, causing him to smile and be amicable against his own desire. He feared they may come to suspect him of an allegiance with Voldemort if they continued to use such magic on him.

Harry was very interested to hear that the Flamels were at Hogwarts, under Dumbledore's protection. This meant one of two things. Either they had decided to recreate the Sorcerer's Stone after realizing they did not want to die after all, or, they had somehow surmised that Voldemort had planned on abducting them and forcing them to create one for him.

Voldemort had not been able to find their previous hiding spot, but now he knew exactly where they were. He wondered if it would necessary to attack Hogwarts, of if he could simply abduct the Flamels from the grounds with a few well-placed operatives, perhaps with the help of Polyjuice Potion. Or, perhaps easier still, if Snape could manage his way into the good graces of the Flamels, and came to find out they were in fact creating another Stone, he may be able to simply steal it from them as soon as it was completed.

Harry instructed Snape that he was to continue to allow the Flamels to cause Snape to be amicable, and that he was to find out if they had come to Hogwarts with the intention of creating another Sorcerer's Stone. Snape nodded in obedience, and Harry ordered him back to his post.

He returned to his study and began to pace, excited at the prospect of finally achieving immortality. The longer he paced, the less Harry's scar burned—the less he had to focus on keeping the pain down. Finally, Harry was just skimming the surface of Voldemort's thoughts with very little effort. Voldemort was reviewing and revising his plans for the future, trying to decide what exactly was necessary in order to get the world back on track, in order to fix the many things that had gone wrong so long ago. He was relieved at the idea of immortality, because it gave him the time to actually make the world a better place.

Harry woke himself up, outraged and confused. Did Voldemort really think that everything that he was doing was for the overall betterment of the world? The urge to dig deeper had been almost overpowering, until Harry had finally had to force himself to wake up so that Voldemort would never know he had been in his head.

Harry rolled over and grabbed the pen and parchment. A quick Lumos lit Harry's darkened bed enough for him to see what he was writing. He wrote for a long time, capturing every thought Voldemort had had regarding Snape, the Flamels, Hogwarts, the Sorcerer's Stone, and his plans for the future.

Harry checked his watch. It was just after 3:00am. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep again that night. He threw on some clothes, gathered his parchments full of dreams. He slipped on his invisibility cloak, and headed for the dungeons.

Harry walked quickly, wondering if he should really do this. He finally decided he didn't care if he should or not, he was going to.

When he reached the stone serpent, Harry hissed in parsletongue, "Is Professor Snape in?"

"Hello, invisible one," replied the serpent. "Yes he is. Shall I call him for you?"

"Please do," said Harry.

Harry stood waiting for a few moments, wondering if Snape had already fallen asleep, and how he would react to Harry's visit.

Presently, the door opened, revealing a tired-looking Snape in night robes. Snape stood back for a second indicating that Harry should enter with a slight move of his hand. Then he stepped out into the hallway and hissed angrily, "There is no one here, you infernal serpent! Do not wake me with such pranks again!"

He stepped back inside, and cast a silencing charm on the room. Harry stepped out from his cloak. Snape was glaring at him while he set his things down on the table in the sitting area, but as soon as Harry looked up at him, his eyes turned to concern.

"Harry, you look exhausted."

"I am," Harry agreed. "I can't sleep more than a few hours on this potion."

Snape nodded. "I was afraid of that. And the few hours you do get are probably not productive sleep, since you are presumably doing magic to enter the Dark Lord's head rather than simply resting."

"If that is the case, I haven't had any real sleep since Thursday night. Class is gonna be a bitch tomorrow."

"Especially mine," said Snape with a raised eyebrow.

"Did you know that Voldemort had plans to abduct Nicolas and Perenelle?"

"Not specifically, but we realized there was a good chance of it after he returned to power. They were hidden by the Fidelis Charm before they came to Hogwarts. They are just as safe here."

Harry shook his head. "Voldemort wants you to swipe the Sorcerer's Stone if they make another one. And if they don't, he's going to send some Death Eaters to Hogwarts, disguised with Polyjuice Potion, to abduct them so he can torture them into making a Stone for him."

Snape massaged the bridge of his nose and sat down. Harry sat across from him. "Well, we knew it was only a matter of time before he made a move against Hogwarts. And I suppose it _is_ more his style to make it such a subversive attack. Think of the fear it would inspire." He laughed dryly. Harry gave him a wary smile. Snape caught his eye for a second, but looked away quickly.

Harry was growing more and more tired by the second. "I'll just leave these dream notes, if that's okay. After you read them, let me know what you think the Order should know so that I can inform Dumbledore." Snape nodded, and they stood up.

As they walked to the door, Snape asked, "Mr. Potter, did you have any trouble with the serpent guarding my door when you arrived this evening?"

Harry shook his head, looking down at the invisibility cloak he was preparing to put on, just in case he couldn't pull off the innocent look. "Why?" he asked.

Snape looked almost calculating. Or maybe that was Harry's imagination. "It didn't say anything... strange to you?"

"No," said Harry. He slipped on the invisibility cloak to cover the smile he was about to break into. "Although it does seem to like that I'm invisible. It called me your 'invisible friend', or something like that."

The puzzled and perturbed look on Snape's face was priceless. The serpent's passwords must really be getting to him.

XIXIX

Snape had not been lying when he implied his class would be a rough one. He didn't let it show, but Harry could tell that Snape was tired after his late-night meetings with Voldemort, and then with Harry.

He snarled his instructions, insulted his students, and docked more points from Gryffindor in a single class period than Harry could ever remember him doing. But even without all of these telling behaviors, Harry sensed Snape's thoughts were slower than usual. He only looked once, however, because Snape immediately began yelling at him for stirring his potion too slowly, and docked 20 points from Gryffindor for the mistake. He also held Harry after class, yelling about his ineptitude until every other student had filed out of the room.

Then he quietly told Harry that his dream notes had given Snape and Perenelle sufficient information to begin work on the next potion. He therefore had no need to continue the current potion for the rest of the week. And that he should go to Dumbledore's office after dinner and report to him Voldemort's thoughts in dealing with Nicolas and Perenelle.

Then he yelled at Harry to get out of his classroom and not come back until he had learned to follow directions and brew a decent potion.

Outside the classroom, Ron and Hermione were waiting. Harry also noticed Malfoy and Blaise Zabini were hanging around nearby. Harry spoke loud enough to make sure Malfoy overheard him.

"Ron, I forgot to ask if you would Captain the team at practice tonight. I have another detention with Filch, and I just know he's going to have me cleaning steps until dawn for the third night in a row!"

Ron gave Harry a weird look. "Mate, you asked me on Friday if I would. I told you it was no problem."

Hermione looked at him, concerned. "Are you okay, Harry?"

Harry ran his fingers through his short hair as he passed by Malfoy and Zabini. "Yeah, just tired, I guess." He glanced at Malfoy, who never once looked in his direction.

That afternoon, Harry was studying in the library with Luna. Harry had been surprised when he realized that, despite Luna's quirks, she was amazingly brilliant when it came to her studies. She absorbed information even better than Hermione. Studying with her was interesting because she thought about things differently than anyone else. Whenever he asked Hermione a question, she would delve into a long explanation of established theories. Luna had her own theories, which were far more interesting than those in the books, and which Harry often found very memorable.

Luna was deep into an explanation of the evolution of the use of dragon scales when Ginny stormed into the library and flung herself into the seat across from Harry.

Harry looked up into the scowling eyes of his red-headed sister, and for a moment, feared for his life. But he gulped his fear down, and asked calmly, "Is something the matter, Ginny?"

"Yes!" she snapped.

Luna looked at Ginny with a spacey smile. "Dragon scales can also be used in Problem Solving Draughts. This was discovered in 324AD when Kermit the Questioner couldn't sleep for five days while he wondered about the meaning of life. Some say that his frustration led him to trying every magical component he could think of in his potion to help him find the answer, but I think it was a hallucination caused by sleep deprivation that inspired him to add dragon scales to—"

"I don't need a Problem Solving Draught!" said Ginny angrily. "What I need is for Harry to pick up a quill and a piece of parchment and write Victor Krum and tell the Bulgarian son of a bitch to stop writing to Hermione to set up a meeting time for him with Harry!"

Harry slapped his forehead. "I forgot! Don't tell me he wrote her again? It's only been a few days!"

"Well, he's impatient. And a jerk. No 'Hi, how are you. I miss you.' Just 'Vie haven't you set up a meeting for me vith Harry? Are you still mad?' " she spat, imitating Victor's accent. "I mean, what a git! It's only been two and a half weeks since he dumped her!"

"He misses her," said Luna airily. "And he's worried. He doesn't know how to say that, so he writes to her about Harry instead. He's probably trying to keep a friendship open by reminding her that they have things in common—like wanting to help Harry fight the Dark Lord."

Ginny's jaw dropped. Harry was floored. They sat there in silence for a moment looking at Luna, and thinking over this new insight.

Finally, Harry opened his bag, and said, "At any rate, I'll write him right now."

Ginny nodded. "And I'll... Luna, will you come with me to talk to Hermione? She thinks Victor doesn't care about her at all, and I think it would help to hear your point of view."

Luna nodded, and left with Ginny, while Harry set to work on his letter to Victor. He politely explained that Hermione was very busy, and suggested Victor just write him whenever he needed to talk to him. Hermione might like to hear from him, but not about business matters with Harry. He could meet him during the next Hogsmeade weekend, or, if he were coming to visit Dumbledore again, Victor could request Harry's presence at the meeting.

He re-read the letter a few times, and then packed up his bag to head to dinner. But as soon as he stepped out in the hallway, he was met by a very angry Crabbe.

"I told you to stay away from Luna!" he yelled, and then punched Harry in the side of the head.

Everything went black.

XIXIX

Harry missed dinner, but woke up in time for detention. He was really sore, and Madam Pomfrey told him she had had to mend several broken ribs. Harry had faint bruises on his face and torso, but Madam Pomfrey assured him they would completely fade away before he went to bed that night.

Harry was relieved that he had not been cursed at all, and that his wand remained unharmed. Harry decided this was probably not a resurrection of the anti-DA attacks so much as a jealous Crabbe attack. Somehow, that made him feel better.

Dumbledore ambled into the infirmary as Harry was getting ready to go. They sat down and Harry told him every thought Voldemort had had regarding Nicolas and Perenelle. Dumbledore repeated what Snape had told him—they hadn't known this for sure, but it was not unexpected.

Harry was exhausted after detention, and extremely happy that he didn't have to take any potions before bed. He slept the full night.

After Quidditch practice the next night, Harry snuck down to the lake to wait for Malfoy, but he never showed up. Harry was pissed off, and even more frustrated, as he headed back to the Gryffindor common room.

Hermione was asleep in a chair by the fireplace, surrounded by stacks of books. As Harry walked over to her, he noticed that one of the open books was actually a box disguised as a book. Inside was a huge stack of letters to Hermione from Victor Krum.

"Hey, 'Mione," Harry said softly, rubbing her tear-stained cheek. She roused, and looked at him with huge red eyes. "You and Victor wrote to each other a lot, didn't you?"

She nodded as she sat up and began gathering her things. "He'd send them by evening post so I could read them by candlelight. He thought it made his words more romantic."

"Did it?"

"Yes," she whispered, tears welling up again. Harry sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug.

"It's okay, 'Mione," he whispered softly.

"I know," she sniffed. "It's just that we shared everything. And I guess that Luna has a point about him trying to keep our communication open, but it would just be easier... I don't know, if it was all or nothing."

Harry nodded and sat back in his seat. "I know what you mean," he said.

Hermione eyed him glumly. "You too, huh?"

Harry nodded, really wishing he could speak openly about it. "He won't talk to me," he said sullenly, trying to convey all of the pain and confusion and frustration he felt in that simple statement.

"He?" asked Hermione. "Harry, are you gay?"

He shrugged. "I don't think so. I mean, I like girls too." He laughed dryly. "After Cho, I'd say I'm just not very good with girls, but, I'm not doing too hot here either."

"Who is it?"

Harry shook his head slowly. "He doesn't want me to tell anyone."

"Was he muggle-born?" asked Hermione. Harry looked at her like he was about to laugh, so she clarified, "I mean, does he have some taboo against his sexuality?"

"No, it's... it's just because it's me."

Hermione nodded. "People might think he was just using you." Harry stared at the fire. She was wrong the way she meant it, but her words struck true in Harry's heart. "Do you think he's using you?"

Harry just looked into the fire.

They leaned on each other's shoulders across the armrests of the chairs they sat in and stared into the fire. They didn't say anything, but Harry felt very close to his best friend, sharing the intimate feeling of heartache with her.

XIXIX

Wednesday night after Quidditch practice, Harry pulled on his invisibility cloak and headed to the third floor for a wandless spellcasting lesson with Nicolas.

"Well, you seem to be in a bad mood," said Nicolas pleasantly when Harry arrived.

Harry tried to smile, but it didn't work out so well.

"Ah, troubles of the heart, eh? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Alright, then let's get to work. No use wallowing around, right?"

Harry thought about how Perenelle had used magic to lighten the mood in Snape's office, and he wondered why Nicolas wasn't doing the same. As it was, Harry was hurt and frustrated, and was getting quite irritated at Nicolas' perpetually jovial mood.

"Well, it's late and I daresay you're tired already after Quidditch practice, so why don't we skip the review, and head straight into some more complex spells." Harry nodded. "How are you at Transfiguration?"

"Okay," said Harry.

"You're lying," said Nicolas. "Professor McGonagall tells me you're quite good at it, and that she has noticed a marked improvement this year over last."

Harry shrugged. "Okay, I'm pretty good."

"That's better. Now, why don't we start easy." He raised his hand and a statue of a gargoyle flew into it. Harry recognized it from his last lesson. "See if you can manage to transfigure this stone statue into a wooden sculpture of a mouse."

Harry scoffed to himself. That would be no problem. He raised his hand, but at the last minute, decided to one-up Nicolas. He transfigured the statue into a real mouse.

Nicolas looked delighted. "You didn't even need to warm up! Have you been practicing, then?"

"A little," said Harry, nonchalantly. He was feeling a strange flux of emotion within him. His Malfoy-inspired heartache hadn't declined, and now he also felt irritated at his friend Nicolas, and felt like he needed to show off to the man. He didn't know why he had the sudden desire, the sudden _need_ to impress him, but he did. "Can't you come up with something more challenging?" Harry growled. Why was he growling?

Nicolas stood up swiftly. "Transfigure this table into a horse," he commanded.

Harry looked at the table, and it became a horse. The horse looked alarmed, and started to buck. Harry transfigured it into a glass of water—a very difficult change even with the use of his wand.

Nicolas looked at him wide-eyed.

Harry felt his emotions calm, and he looked down to the glass of water.

"Pardon my language," said Nicolas, "But bloody hell, Harry!"

"What did I do?" asked Harry. "Was that good?"

"Well, two weeks ago, you were having trouble with a basic Summoning Charm. You just transfigured a horse into a glass of water with glance! That is unbelievable progress!"

Harry looked at Nicolas, and could tell he was hiding something. He felt friendly with him again, and didn't feel right about prying into his mind...

_Wait, what happened to all that anger I felt toward him a minute ago?  
_  
"What did you do to me?" Harry demanded.

Nicolas regarded him for a moment, and then looked down to the glass of water. It became a table, and Nicolas sat back down. He motioned for Harry to take his seat, which he did.

"I allowed your emotions free reign," said Nicolas simply.

"So you two can just manipulate people however you want?" asked Harry.

Nicolas furrowed his brow. "No. Well, I guess we could if we tried. Mainly, we just exude what comes naturally to us—love, friendship, peace, all of that. And we are capable of lowering people's control over their emotions. We typically use those two abilities together in order to help smooth over situations of needless conflict."

"Sometimes fights need to happen," said Harry reasonably.

"And sometimes they don't. You and Snape do not need to fight right now, for instance, which is why Perenelle helped to smooth your troubled feelings last week."

Harry nodded.

"I had noticed that when you were in a heightened emotional state, your powers seemed to increase dramatically. Or perhaps you just felt freer in using them. So I lowered your control over your emotions without enveloping you with, as we call them, the sweeter emotions. And suddenly, you were able to transfigure a horse into a glass of water."

Harry suspected he already knew the answer, but he asked anyway, "Again, why didn't you tell me first?"

"It wouldn't have worked if I had told you."

"Of course."

"No really, you wouldn't have believed me if I told you you could do that. But now you have done it, so now you have proof. Now let's see if we can get you to do that kind of thing without your emotions running rampant."

Harry eyed Nicolas warily, and Nicolas grinned at him. Harry couldn't help it. He grinned back.

"Are you making me happy again?" he asked accusingly.

"I am having no more effect on you now than I normally have on people."

"Swear?"

"Swear."

They practiced more complex spells, and Harry found that he had more power than he had ever before suspected. Even spells that he normally would have found difficult using a wand, he was able to cast effectively, just because he believed he could do it.

After they were done for the night, Harry was exhausted. He snuck out to the lake anyway, just in case Malfoy was there.

He was not.

Thursday and Friday were a blur of academics, Quidditch game preparations, and personal hurt and frustration over a blonde haired boy who wouldn't look at Harry except to berate him.

Harry was trying to figure out how to talk to Malfoy, but short of attacking him and hoping they landed detention together, he just didn't see how that was possible. Harry was always surrounded by a protective throng of DA members (especially after Crabbe's attack), and Malfoy was always flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, and often had Pansy draped around him like a second robe.

There was simply no way to get the boy alone.

During Divination, the Slytherins kept up a steady stream of whispered insults to Harry and Ron. Harry had an idea. He waited for Malfoy to verbally attack him, and then whispered back furiously, "Quit _haunting_ me, Malfoy!"

Malfoy showed no signs of registering Harry's use of the word. He just burst out laughing with the rest of the Slytherins. Harry stared at him hard, willing himself not to use Legilimency to figure out what he was thinking. It just didn't seem fair. He kept thinking about how Sirius said that not using Legilimency at his whim meant that he had character.

He stared into Malfoy's eyes, which were not lovely, but narrowed with his derisive laughter. Harry thought about how kind his eyes could be when they were alone, when Malfoy was smiling at him, telling him secrets and asking him about himself. He made up his mind.

Harry blinked once, and then opened...

He cracked a grin, and noticed that Malfoy's snide smirk faltered for a hair of a second as he watched Harry smiling at him. He had been thinking about how he wanted to maul Harry, who looked so good with his new haircut. Then, when Harry grinned, a wave of very explicit thoughts raced through his head.

Harry smiled, and leaned back against the tree behind him. As a cover for his sudden smile, he turned to Ron and whispered, "Imagine Hermione having private Divination lessons with Trelawney."

Ron snorted at the accompanying mental image, and he whispered back, "Mark my words, Hermione is going to eat that woman alive before all is said and done."

Harry put his hands behind his head, glanced over to Malfoy, and said with a smile, "Ron, I don't doubt it for a minute."

XIXIX

When Harry arrived to breakfast the next morning before the Hufflepuff game, the rest of his team was already assembled at a table in the Great Hall. He slid into a seat between Ginny and Christopher, and began to load his plate.

He was tired, and cursed himself for going out to the lake the night before after Quidditch practice. He had specifically ordered his team to bed to get enough sleep, but then he snuck out to the lake to wait in vain for Malfoy to appear.

"You're eating?" asked Ginny incredulously.

Harry looked down at his plate. While lost in his thoughts, he had already eaten half his breakfast.

"Yeah, why?"

"You never eat before a game."

Harry shrugged. "I guess my nerves are getting better, huh?"

Just then, a large group of loud Slytherins, with Malfoy in their midst, walked in, carrying a number of signs portraying a badger devouring a fluffy lion cub. One sign said, "Potter and the Pussycats". Another said, "Gryffindors are Pussies."

The Slytherins were cheering for the Hufflepuff team, and yelling out, "Potter is a pussy! Weasleys are pussies! Billings is a pussy!" and so on. The Hufflepuffs, rather than rallying behind the anti-Gryffindor spirit, blushed and hid their faces.

Ernie MacMillan jumped up immediately and strode over to the Gryffindor table where the Quidditch team was sitting, and stated loudly, "The Hufflepuffs had nothing to do with that!"

Harry waved him off. "Off course you don't, Ernie. It's okay."

Ginny held up a basket of pastries and asked kindly, "Muffin?"

"Um, okay," said Ernie uncertainly. He took a muffin, and returned to his seat. The Hufflepuffs began leaving the Great Hall in embarrassment when one of the fourth year Slytherins yelled out, "Badgers eat pussy!"

Professor McGonagall swept down from the head table and gave him a detention for lewd language at the breakfast table. The Slytherin tried to point to the picture of the badger eating the lion cub, but she took ten points from Slytherin for talking back. Then she ordered the rest of the Slytherins to take their disgusting signs out of the Great Hall.

The Slytherins left, but took a detour so that they walked past the Gryffindor Quidditch team, whispering disgusting insults involving the word 'pussy'. When Crabbe passed by Harry and Ginny, six Gryffindors had to jump up to hold back Ron and Ginny to keep them from pummeling the overgrown oaf.

Harry and the rest of the Gryffindors focused on calming down their team members. He looked up to see Professors McGonagall and Snape step into a small room in the back of the Great Hall. As soon as the door closed, the Hall went quiet as McGonagall's voice carried through the door, screaming at Snape for not maintaining better control of his House.

The Gryffindors all started to chuckle, and they headed outside for the game.

The Slytherins' tactics to unsettle the Gryffindor Quidditch team backfired. The Hufflepuffs were far more outdone. The Hufflepuff team all personally apologized to the Gryffindor team before the game started. The Gryffindors said not to worry about what they Slytherins were doing, but the Hufflepuffs were embarrassed, and it really hurt their game.

Harry really hoped he would find the snitch early on. The Gryffindors were creaming the Hufflepuffs, who weren't really putting up much of a fight. They faltered every time they heard a yell referring to their opposition as 'pussies'. The Slytherins never seemed to catch on to what they were doing, because the worse Hufflepuff did, the more they yelled.

Harry caught the snitch fifteen minutes into the game. The final score was 260 to 30.

He didn't even feel like celebrating.

XIXIX

Harry spent most of the day in the library doing homework with Hermione and Neville. When he trudged down the steps to the dungeons that night for his Legilimency lesson, he was mentally exhausted.

He walked through Snape's open classroom door, and into his office. He stood before him and thought, 'Why'd you let them do it?'

Snape caught the thought, and what it was referring to, and he sighed. 'Sometimes you let your strategy get the better of you. It's a good lesson for them to learn that sometimes you should change course mid-way through. They stuck to their strategy today, and it didn't work. Hufflepuff lost. It was a mistake they will hopefully never make again.'

Harry was sullen. 'It wasn't fair how we won the game.'

'Your victory was a result of a Slytherin mistake' thought Snape wryly. 'You should be happy.'

'Well, when you put it that way, I can almost forget that we won because the Slytherins bullied the Hufflepuffs into submission. Why, I feel better already.'

'Sarcasm is unbecoming of you, Mr. Potter.'

Harry rolled his eyes.

'You've got too much heart, Harry. Just take your victories and be happy.'

Snape stood up and walked out the door. Harry followed him through the halls and to the stone serpent.

Snape came to an abrupt stop in front of his door, and glared at the stone serpent loathingly.

Harry wondered for a second why they had stopped, but then he remembered his password prank. Snape must really not want to say whatever it was in front of Harry. For the first time all day, Harry felt a little perk of glee as he waited in anticipation.

"I would like to change my password," Snape said authoritatively.

"I'm sorry," hissed the serpent. "That option is not available at the moment."

Snape cursed under his breath. Harry stifled his laughter.

"That is not the correct password," hissed the serpent.

"I am aware of that," said Snape, his voice dripping with poison. "I am also aware that it is my prerogative to change the password to my quarters whenever I see fit. I would like to do so now."

"I'm sorry. That option is not avail—"

"Oh, for the love of—!" barked Snape, frustrated. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the serpent.

'Man, if looks could kill,' thought Harry to himself.

Finally, Snape opened his lips just barely, and through clenched teeth, he growled, "I love that dragon fresh feeling."

Harry clasped his hands over his mouth. The serpent slithered out of the way and Snape's door swung open. They entered and Snape closed the door quickly. Harry flung himself on the floor laughing. Snape towered over him, watching two disembodied feet kick around on his floor.

He cast a silencing charm and yelled, "Oh, get up!"

Harry stood up and stumbled over to the sitting area, still laughing. He pulled off his invisibility cloak and sat down, wiping tears from his eyes. "Thanks, Professor. I really needed that," he said.

"I'm glad my misfortune amuses you, Mr. Potter," said Snape. He waved his wand and a tea set appeared.

"Allow me, sir," said Harry, leaning forward to pour their tea. "What are we doing tonight?"

Snape glared at Harry as he sat down. "We're going to try to teach you some subtlety."

Harry looked at Snape apprehensively. "Is this going to hurt?"

Snape smirked viciously. "After that little display, most definitely."

The only way for Harry to understand the technique of treading lightly in someone's mind, was for Snape to show him. He trampled through Harry's thoughts, so that Harry felt everything. Then he tiptoed, explaining to him what he was doing differently.

Harry and Snape slid through each other's thoughts and emotions, careful for the time being not to look at anything too personal. Harry found that he did have enough control over this new power to be able to navigate to a certain extent.

Snape was not as powerful as Harry, but he had far more skill and control. In fact, Harry was dumbfounded as he slid through Snape's mind to begin to understand just how much skill and control the wizard had. A lesser wizard would have gone mad after experiencing even a hundredth of the things Snape had been through. Harry never delved deeply into these memories. He would just glance over them, get the gist, and move on.

Harry closely guarded any thought or feeling he had regarding Draco Malfoy, and the password prank, but he allowed Snape access to all other memories as a show of good faith. Despite his earlier threat, Snape never abused this access. He just glided through, explaining to Harry the different techniques he was using to get to different places.

Harry made incredible progress during this lesson. Snape informed him that if he kept up at this rate, by summer he would be able to put on an invisibility cloak, walk up and stand in front of the Dark Lord, and read his most intimate thoughts without him ever knowing he was there.

"I doubt that," said Harry.

"I don't," said Snape.

Snape walked him to the door. Harry had his invisibility cloak slung over his arm as he looked at the man whose mind he had been linked to all evening. He was almost as tall as the Potions Master now. Harry wondered when that happened. Snape used to be so tall and intimidating, but now...

He stuck out his hand. "Well, Harry, it's been a pleasure."

Harry took his hand and shook it. "As always, Severus."

Harry felt a strong emotion well up in him—something akin to grief. He realized it had Snape's 'feel' to it. It was Snape's emotion.

Without thinking, Harry stepped forward and pulled Snape into a hug. Snape froze for a second, but then hugged Harry back firmly.

They pulled back after a moment, and Harry flung his invisibility cloak on.

"I'll see you in class, Professor."

"Good night, Mr. Potter."

XIXIX

Harry had an idea as he walked away from the dungeons. He checked his watch, and once he was certain it was not too late to try this, he headed to the Owlery. He had a quill and a scratch bit of parchment in his robe pocket.

He wrote a quick note.

_Meet me at midnight in the locker room on the far side of the Quidditch field._

Come alone.

-Phantom

Hedwig had flown down and perched on Harry's shoulder. Harry tied the bit of parchment to her, and directed her to find Malfoy in the dungeons.

Hedwig looked at Harry reproachfully. Harry said, "I know, I know. But will you please do it?"

Hedwig hooted softly and nipped Harry's ear. Then she took off.

Harry went for a walk around the lake. The nights were definitely warming up, but it was still quite cool outside. Harry shuddered in a breeze. He checked his watch, and headed to the locker room.

He opened the locker at the end of the row by the back wall, and stood silently next to it, still cloaked. He hoped that Malfoy would come. He hoped that he caught the Phantom reference, and wanted to come. He really hoped he didn't bring backup. Harry was going to stay cloaked until Malfoy came, and Harry was sure that they were alone.

Harry looked at his watch. It was after midnight.

How was Hedwig going to get into the dungeons underneath the lake? Was that even possible? Surely Slytherins had some way of receiving things by evening post. Didn't they?

Harry heard footsteps. One person. One set of footsteps, walking quickly down the first row. Harry peered around. It was Malfoy. As soon as Malfoy stepped back out of sight, Harry slid off his cloak and stuffed it in the open locker.

He walked quietly forward, wanting to sneak up on him. But Malfoy heard him and turned around. He was fuming.

"What the fuck are you playing at, Potter? Everyone at this school knows your ruddy owl! Do you _want_ my father to kill me!"

Harry ran forward and jumped him. Malfoy tried to fight him off at first, thinking he was being attacked, but Harry was persistent. He wrapped his arms fiercely around the struggling Slytherin, found his lips, and pressed himself into him.

Malfoy responded. He grabbed Harry's arm roughly, reached his other hand up and clenched his short hair. He pulled Harry's head back, and bit into his neck. Harry gasped. He slid his hands down Malfoy's back, grabbed his behind firmly, and lifted him off the ground. Malfoy wrapped his legs around Harry's middle. Harry turned and pushed him up against a locker.

The room echoed with the bang.

Harry thrust into him. Malfoy clawed at his back. Harry lowered him and stepped back and they all but tore each other's robes off before pressing themselves back into each other.

They slowly dropped to the floor, tearing off shirts and shoes and pants as they went. They wrestled and bit, clawed and pulled. They struggled with desperate, gasping kisses as they fought against each other on the floor for dominance.

Malfoy moaned as Harry pushed into him. Their knees ached against the cold, hard floor, but they couldn't stop. They wouldn't stop. The pain and the consequences were a million miles away.

Harry groaned as he came, collapsing on the Slytherin. Malfoy turned over, pulled him up, and walked Harry into the third shower stall. He rotated the faucet head, and tantalizingly warm water splashed down.

Harry was on his knees again, and Malfoy was moaning. He was running his fingers through Harry's hair, and slamming his hand against the wall. He shuddered, gasping. His eyes were closed and he felt soft lips against his. He slumped against the wall, wrapping his arms around Harry, and taking him into a passionate, salty kiss while the water rinsed their sweat away.

Harry pulled back and looked at the gorgeous blonde whose hair was dripping into his eyes. Malfoy reached up and rubbed Harry's short hair fondly.

"Next time," he said softly, "Use another owl, okay?"

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: This is my longest chapter yet. I hope you all liked it. Please review and let me know what you think.

And I want to direct everyone to The Showers, by Wintermoon2. It's, um, steamy. And apparently a little too steamy for the folks at who took it down a couple of days ago. But you can still read it at and at inkstained fingers. If you liked my shower scene, then whoa boy! You really need to go read The Showers. It's sexy and funny, and involves an older Harry Potter.

What about my shower scene? Too steamy? I didn't use any graphic words, but is it too graphic regardless?

Also, I want to direct everyone to Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by DK Stories, and to the sequel, whose name I forget at the moment, but so far, it's damn good too. In fact, it keeps getting better and better. I was thinking about putting some muggle interference into my story, but there is no way I can do it as well as DK Stories.

Wintermoon2- Sorry I made you late last time. I hope you don't have any pressing engagements right now, because you're almost certainly late for them if you did.

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat- Yup, I think Draco likes the hair. And a lot of the training is going to fall on Snape. At this point, I think he's closer to Harry than Ginny in terms of trust. It's just the nature of what they're doing together.

Spidermonkey-demon- You know, JKR wrote me today and offered me a million pounds in royalties for Nicolas. I said, A million pounds of what! Then she hung up on me.

Yuki Kruai- Thank you! Here it is!

Vasquaz- Thank you!

Snake-Boi- After I read HPSS, I pretty much assumed Nicolas and Perenelle would be old and very close to death without the potion. But then I got to thinking, what if the potion kept/made them young? Wouldn't they still have a whole lifetime ahead of them? I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks for reviewing!

Rise of Chaos- Thank you, thank you, and thank you! And yes, I do feel immensely special that I'm on your favorites list. I'm dancing with joy! And you're responsible!

Silent-sounds- Hey, there there. Here's another chapter. I'm glad you like it so far, but there's no reason to cry. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Kurai-princess- Thank you, and here it is!

Draconisdagger2000- I'm glad you like it, and I'm glad you like the Harry- Snape friendship. I've wanted to explore that for awhile. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Pamela- Why, thank you! Again! And, how did you like that password action? More to come, most probably. And, um, I think the whole point of being a whore is NOT being in relationships. But third grade is a little young to have started all that. Have you been saving up your, um, gratuity, or just spending it wildly on whatever you want?

Simply Slytherin- Wow, that's a huge compliment with the Cornish Pixies and all. I hear they're even tastier than Cornish hens, and passing up that feast must have been quite a sacrifice. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Kittyfd13- Thank you for reading/reviewing! I'm glad you like the pace and all. I've been worried that I wasn't pushing it enough. Harry's had a very busy couple of weeks here. But he's not complaining, and neither are you, so I'm happy. Hope you continue to enjoy.

.

peace out, y'all

kati


	12. Choices and Innocent Mistakes

12 A/N: First off, I have to defend Harry. A friend of mine voiced concern that Harry was a bit of a wimp, because he went down after one punch by Crabbe, and woke up with healed broken ribs and fading bruises. So let me just say, Crabbe caught Harry off guard with a punch to the temple, which caused the blackout. Then Crabbe proceeded to kick the ever-living snot out of the unconscious Harry. Pretty dumb if you think about it. Crabbe gave Harry the beating of his life, but Harry doesn't remember it, and was healed up for the most part before he woke. But you know, that's Crabbe. Also, in a few minutes when you read about Harry wincing from pain as he sits up, it's not because he's a wuss. He's just never experienced that particular sort of pain before, and it caught him off guard.

On with the show:

X

XIX

XIXIX "Choices and Innocent Mistakes" XIXIX

Harry was dead on his feet as he set his book bag down to begin his wandless spellcasting lesson.

"Perenelle is not going to be happy," said Nicolas with a smile.

"Why not?" asked Harry dully.

"She and Severus have been working long hours to ensure that your next potion doesn't hinder your sleep. But it looks as though it's all for naught, since you're not sleeping anyway."

Harry grinned and rubbed his hair. It was a habit he had picked up since Perenelle had cut it so short. Most of the girls he knew, and Malfoy, had also picked up the habit of rubbing Harry's hair. Of course, Malfoy only rubbed his hair when they were alone.

"I've been staying up late with a, uh, _friend_."

Nicolas beamed. "Well I assume that means that your love crisis has been resolved?"

"Um, yeah," said Harry, just a little shyly. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Nicolas laughed. "I have not been a member of the Hogwarts faculty for hundreds of years. I have long since stopped concerning myself with who is out of bed after hours."

"Does that mean you won't tell anyone?"

"Yes, that means I won't tell anyone. Except Perenelle. She was worried about you." Nicolas sighed. "And while I am required to tell my wife everything, I cannot swear secrecy for her, so I imagine you'll have to talk to her about it yourself."

Harry groaned, hoping she wouldn't bring it up in front of Snape. She seemed to enjoy watching them spar, so long as it never got too serious. Harry suspected that she enjoyed mixing personalities in conversation as much as she enjoyed mixing potions.

"Well, Harry!" said Nicolas, clapping his hands. "Are you ready to try dueling?"

Harry was instantaneously wide-awake, knowing that Nicolas would not wait for an answer to begin. He barely dodged a stunning spell that he hadn't seen coming his way.

Dueling without a wand was far more difficult and interesting than dueling with one. After years of training, Harry was keen to notice the slightest shift in stance, flick of the wand, or movement of the lips of his opponent. He was always ready to attack, counter-attack, block, shield, or dodge.

But wandless dueling was a new challenge for him. Everything changed when there was no wand to keep an eye on. And Nicolas and Harry were both powerful enough that they could cast many of their spells without uttering the incantation aloud.

This changed everything. Aiming the spells was very difficult at first. He had to focus his entire being and use pure instinct to guide his movements and spellcasting. The world seemed to take on an ethereal quality, so that Harry could feel the spells flying though the air. He could feel the air. He could feel Nicolas' movements, feel the words he breathed, his thoughts.

Harry opened his mind into Nicolas, and ducked the moment it occurred to him to throw a fireball. Nicolas adjusted his aim as he actually cast the spell; Harry noticed his misjudgment at the last moment, and dodged out of the way.

"TIME OUT!" he yelled.

Nicolas froze.

Harry stood up and turned to his book bag by the doorway, and cast a protective shield over it.

"Sorry. My homework is in there. I didn't want it to be incinerated." He readied his stance again, but Nicolas stood straight and looked at Harry quizzically.

"Harry, were you inside my mind?"

"Yeah, at the end, there." Harry noticed a weird look on Nicolas' face. "I'm sorry. I should have asked first. It's just that it didn't occur to me until a moment ago that I could probably use Legilimency to my advantage during a duel."

Nicolas nodded slowly. "I saw you react to my fireball before I cast it."

He looked upset. Harry cursed himself for not sticking to his own guidelines about Legilimency use. He should have asked first. "I—I'm sorry. I won't—"

"Harry, Perenelle and I erected permanent Brain Barriers hundreds of years ago. We went through a month-long ritual to ensure that no Legilimens could enter our minds. That way, no wizard or witch could ever take our knowledge of the Sorcerer's Stone and use if for dark purposes. Over the centuries, I've had a few people try, but... Harry, I didn't even feel that! If you hadn't reacted early, I never would have known!"

Harry's hands were at his side as he stared at Nicolas. He didn't know what to say. He felt tired again, and as he thought over what Nicolas was telling him, he felt old as well.

Finally, Nicolas said, "I think we should adjourn this lesson into Dumbledore's office."

Harry nodded. He felt overwhelmed. Things were happening so fast. It seemed as though he found new powers every day. Not quite a month had passed since his dream about Voldemort torturing Snape. He remembered Sirius telling him that everything depended on Harry being strong that night. Well, things certainly had changed since then.

They walked in silence to Dumbledore's office. Harry muttered the password and they made their way up the stairs.

"Albus?" called Nicolas as they entered the empty office.

Fawkes flew over and landed on Harry's shoulder. Harry stroked the phoenix lovingly and walked to a chair to sit down.

Dumbledore walked into the office from the back room. He smiled brightly. Fawkes let out one long, clear note, and Harry's heart rose. He smiled back into Dumbledore's twinkling eyes.

"Ah, Nicolas! Harry! What can I do for you?"

"Albus, perhaps you could call Severus and Perenelle as well? I feel this concerns the two of them."

Dumbledore nodded, and turned back toward Harry. "Fawkes, would you mind?"

Harry flinched slightly as the phoenix disappeared with a flash of flame. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Lemon drop, anyone?"

"Oh, yes! Thank you," said Nicolas eagerly, leaning forward. Harry smiled as Nicolas sucked on the candy, visibly relaxing at last. He had seemed just slightly agitated since their duel, which was enough to concern Harry, who had grown rather used to his and Perenelle's "sweeter emotions". Nicolas and Dumbledore spent the next several minutes discussing their favorite wizard and muggle candies.

Fawkes returned after delivering the messages, and the three waited. Perenelle arrived first, and the room immediately grew quite warm and cozy. Harry felt a powerful surge of every good feeling he knew, and suspected that Perenelle had picked up on Nicolas' agitation and reached out to him. In fact, as she joined the sweets conversation, she physically reached out and took Nicolas' hand, squeezing it tight.

When Snape arrived, he put up a valiant effort to maintain his scowl, but it was all in vain. He soon had a pleasant smile on his face, and even accepted a lemon drop from Dumbledore. Harry was floored. Snape noticed, and what just about to jokingly snip at Harry, when Nicolas suddenly stated the reason for their impromptu meeting.

"Albus, he broke through my Brain Barrier."

Snape's jaw dropped and he snapped his head around to face Nicolas. The lemon drop fell out of his mouth and into his lap. Harry snorted, but then quickly clasped his hands over his mouth to hide the unbidden laugh, remembering that this was a serious conversation.

Snape waved his wand, and the lemon drop and the accompanying spot of sticky on his robe vanished. He turned to successfully glare at Harry.

"Mr. Potter, what have I told you?"

"I know, I know," said Harry, hurriedly trying to compose himself. "Get my heart off my sleeve."

"Really, Severus," said Perenelle, almost sternly. "You're too hard on the boy! If he really did complete magic as complex as that, he deserves a good laugh at his professor." She looked up at Harry and winked. Harry felt a flood of good feelings coming from her and laughed out loud, barely able to control himself enough to breath, much less to stop laughing.

Perenelle turned to Nicolas. "Wow, he really does seem to be picking up my sweeter emotions more than usual."

Snape leaned toward her and sneered, "I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear over all the giddiness."

Perenelle narrowed her eyes and pointed a finger into Snape's face. "We're working on your sense of humor next," she declared matter-of-factly.

"My sense of humor is fine," he growled.

"Harry," said Dumbledore, concerned. Harry was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath and holding his ribs like they were hurting him. "Harry, can you fight it down?"

Harry shook his head. His face was red and wet with tears.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," barked Snape. "Potter! Control yourself!"

Harry jolted. He felt something snap into place, and he was suddenly able to close his mind to the onslaught of joviality. His gasping breath calmed, and he wiped the tears from his face. He moved to sit back up straight, and winced slightly at the unexpected pain. His whole torso hurt from having laughed so hard. Harry had never experienced that before.

"Harry, are you okay?" asked Snape immediately.

Harry nodded as he pulled himself upright. "Just a little sore. Thank you, Severus. I kind of lost control there."

"Indeed."

"Albus," said Nicolas, "We really ought to determine if this is a testament to Harry's ability, or a failing of our Brain Barriers."

Dumbledore nodded seriously. Harry suddenly understood then that Nicolas had not been upset with him for getting into his head. He was merely concerned that Voldemort might be able to do the same should the unthinkable happen, and one of the Flamels be abducted.

Dumbledore pulled out his wand, and looked directly into Nicolas' eyes.

Harry watched with rapt attention. He focused his senses the way he had while they were dueling, until he could feel the magic passing from Dumbledore to Nicolas.

Dumbledore sat back and shook his head. He turned toward Snape.

"Severus, would you mind?"

They all stood up. Harry and Perenelle stepped off to the side. Nicolas stood in the center of the room. Dumbledore and Snape stood side by side across from him, and both extended their wands. They held them together, so that they were both holding the two wands and their hands were touching.

Harry was stunned by the combined force of their magic. Their energies flowed together seamlessly. Harry watched as it surged toward Nicolas, but did not enter. Their magic was unsuccessful, and Dumbledore stood back in satisfaction.

"It appears that your Brain Barrier is firmly intact. I believe that leaves only one more test to perform." He turned toward Harry. "Can you tell me the name of the first person I ever kissed?"

Harry looked at Dumbledore and said almost immediately, "Agnes Whimple."

Dumbledore started to chuckle and mused, "Agnes, really? I should have known..."

Harry looked at him quizzically. "Didn't you—?"

"Oh, no!" said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. "I knew I had been kissed because the perpetrator left a little love bite. I believe you call them 'hickies' nowadays. But unfortunately, she also left a memory charm. If I remember, Agnes had been betrothed from birth to a fellow named Hector Brice whom she didn't particularly care for... Well, that certainly explains a lot."

Harry chuckled, not really sure if Dumbledore meant that it explained a lot about Harry's abilities, or about a long-forgotten first kiss.

"Professor Dumbledore," said Snape, "Mr. Potter has quite obviously far exceeded my abilities. I do not feel there is anything left I can teach him."

"Nor I," said Nicolas. "His wandless is quite powerful, and he took to dueling within minutes. I'm dreadful with dueling. I couldn't possibly pose any sort of challenge to him now. I mean, he has a few minor issues of control—"

"Precisely," interrupted Dumbledore. "We knew when we began these ventures that Harry would far surpass our own abilities. Harry, we have nothing new to teach you regarding these new powers of yours. All we can offer at this point is practice and guidance while you master control."

Harry nodded. "I'm not yet ready to face him. These powers are still new to me, and I feel like I'm making it up as I go along. I want to be sure of myself the next time I go up against Voldemort."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "What happened to that Gryffindor 'jump in feet first, and consequences be damned'?"

Harry narrowed his eyes and drew himself up to his full height, squaring his stance. "Well, last time, I lost my godfather. And several of my friends were nearly killed. The next time I face Voldemort, I intend to fulfill the prophecy."

XIXIX

"Potter, what's wrong with you?" Malfoy's voice was light and snide, but Harry thought for a moment that he had heard a twinge of true concern in it.

The two were lying in the grass behind the bleachers on the far side of the Quidditch pitch, staring into the stars. Since Harry had owled Malfoy over the weekend, they had fallen into a nightly pattern of shagging passionately and immediately, and then talking for hours about nothing in particular.

Harry had been connecting the stars into strange patterns and making up mythology to go along with his new constellations. His mind was split in two. His surface self was a normal teenage boy, entertaining his lover with on-the-fly stories of fictional adventures from days of yore. His thoughts below the surface, behind the stories he was telling, were a whirling centrifuge of recent events. Below the surface was the real Harry Potter—powers, prophecy, and all.

He glanced over at Malfoy and realized he must have been getting a little too deep. Nights with Malfoy were all about forgetting. They were about taking a break, and pretending he had had a childhood. They were about pretending he had a future.

"What do you mean?" he asked, yawning.

"I don't know," said Malfoy defensively. "You just seem a little... preoccupied."

_Must get away from serious conversation._

Harry grinned. "Am I not making any sense? I must be tired. How do you sleep in class so much and still keep your grades up anyway?"

"Pansy," said Malfoy simply, still eyeing Harry suspiciously.

"Oh," said Harry, losing his smile and looking back up at the sky. He didn't really want to think about her right now.

"It's one of the perks of having a girlfriend in your year. They take notes for you when you sleep in class. I don't know what you were thinking when you decided to hook up with TWO fifth years."

"Huh?"

"I mean, okay, they're kind of pretty... But Weasley and Loony Lovegood, Potter? I would have thought you'd had higher standards than that."

"Stuff it, Malfoy. They're good friends of mine."

"Right. Well, you might want to decide to be less 'friendly' with Luna. Crabbe's about ready to kill you. It's bad enough that you're with her, but that you're two-timing her with Weasley... what?"

Harry was laughing up into the night. "You don't really think...?"

He looked at Malfoy and saw a flicker of hurt in his eye. Harry wondered if it was because Harry was laughing at him, or because he was jealous of Harry's 'girlfriends'. He didn't look into his mind to find out. That was against the rules. He decided to tease instead.

"Aaaww... were you jealous?" he asked in a baby voice.

Malfoy turned his head angrily to look back up at the stars. He swung his arm out to the side, hitting Harry's hip. "Shut up, Potter. Of course not. I was just offering some advice—"

Harry rolled over onto his elbow, grinning down at the ruffled Slytherin. "Yes you are! You're jealous!" Harry poked him in his side.

Malfoy glared at him. "I am not. I just—"

"Yes you are." Harry poked him again. "You want me all to yourself."

Harry made to poke his ribs one more time, but Malfoy rolled over swiftly, grabbing him and wrestling him until he had Harry pinned with his back to the ground.

"Go ahead and admit it," choked Harry through his laughter. Malfoy was putting a lot of weight on his chest, which made breathing, laughing, and speaking very difficult.

"Shut up, Potter."

"Just say it. You lov—"

Malfoy pressed his lips against Harry's, cutting short the rest of the claim. He didn't pull back until he was satisfied that Harry had finished trying to speak.

"So you're not going out with Weasley or Luna?" asked Malfoy with a warning look in his eye.

Harry shook his head, grinning dazedly.

Malfoy's glare melted and he looked at Harry as though he were a puppy. He reached up and rubbed Harry's short hair. "You are too cute!" he whispered. He caught the look of surprise in Harry's eye and pulled himself together, glaring at Harry once more. Harry snorted.

Malfoy's lips twitched, but he managed to keep from smiling. Harry tried to compose himself and play along with the interrogation, but he wasn't nearly as successful.

"Potter, I watched you kissing Luna. That was an intimate couple kiss."

"I, uh... It didn't work out between us," said Harry. "We're just friends now."

"What about the Weasley girl? You two are practically joined at the hip."

Harry smirked that people actually thought he and Ginny were together. "Ginny's my sister," he said.

Malfoy's glare broke again—this time into a look of surprise. "Really? You mean she's your magical sister?"

Harry nodded, satisfied with the look of relief that seemed to wash over Malfoy's face, unbidden and unnoticed.

"And you're going to be twins?"

Harry shrugged. "Someday, I guess. We haven't really discussed when that's going to happen, but I suppose that is still the plan."

Malfoy slumped his shoulders, loosening his grip on Harry. "Oh." He was silent for a few moments, and then asked, "Well if you weren't thinking about them, what's got you so distracted tonight? Did something happen with the Dark Lord?"

_No serious conversation._

Harry pulled on his own patented Malfoy smirk. "Don't change the subject, Malfoy. What about you and Parkinson?"

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't be daft, Potter. You know I'm going to marry her."

"You're what!"

Malfoy looked at him like he was extremely dim-witted. Ginny looked at him like that a lot, and it always gave him the feeling he was missing something extremely obvious.

"We've been betrothed since I can remember. Our families made an alliance when we were toddlers. Everyone knows this, Potter."

_I didn't._

"Do you love her?"

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "I like her enough. We get along well, especially in bed."

"Too much information," groaned Harry.

"You asked," said Malfoy delightfully.

"Not about that," said Harry, rolling out from under Malfoy and sitting up.

"Where are you going?"

"To my room. I'm exhausted. I've got to get some sleep sometime this week, and it isn't going to be in Divination tomorrow with you lot there," grumbled Harry while he dressed.

"Potter, you're not mad—?"

"No, I'm tired."

"Because you know you and I aren't... It's not... It's just for now. It's just sex."

Harry didn't look at him. "Yeah, it's just sex," he said, like he didn't care. He could hear Malfoy getting dressed behind him and he thought, 'If it's just sex, then why were you so concerned about Ginny and Luna?'

Malfoy walked up quietly behind him. "Potter, are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Harry turned around and looked at him, trying to act nonchalant. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Really, though. Did something happen with the Dark Lord?"

"Nothing I can't handle," said Harry coldly.

"Do you really think you're going to kill him?"

Harry's two selves were warring. His deeper self was a turbulent jumble of arguments for and against his probable victory. His surface self just wanted to shove it all away and be pissed off at this beautiful blonde before him. Even now, with them shagging every night, Malfoy was still running hot and cold on him. This shouldn't be bothering him this much. Malfoy was just a distraction.

_Is he just a distraction?_

"Of course," said Harry, without much conviction. "Look, I'm really tired. I'll see you tomorrow."

Harry turned and started walking. After he had gotten about thirty feet, Malfoy called out to him, "Hey, Potter!"

Harry stopped and turned.

"In Divination tomorrow, sit on the other side of the classroom and I'll distract everyone enough so you can sleep, okay?"

Harry smirked and gave Malfoy a small salute. He turned back toward the castle and mumbled to himself, "Just sex my ass."

XIXIX

Harry received a message from Perenelle the next morning that she and Snape had nearly completed Harry's next potion. They would give it to him that evening after his Legilimency lesson.

Harry had seen excitement in Snape's mind's eye whenever he looked at Harry this week. He knew Snape was excited about the potion, and it made Harry wonder what he was putting in it. But he was careful not to look too deep to find out. Every time Snape noticed Harry looking into him outside of their Legilimency lessons, he would immediately begin yelling and taking points from Gryffindor.

Yesterday, Harry had thought to him, 'Give me a break. You know I need to practice.'

Snape took an additional five points from Gryffindor for Harry's attitude, and thought back, 'Practice on your enemies, Harry, not me. My thoughts about the students and the lessons are not suitable practice material for you.'

Harry conceded that point. Snape's thoughts seemed to be pressing for Harry to practice his Legilimency on the Slytherins, especially Malfoy. He was surprised at first that Snape would press Harry to 'spy' on his House, but then he realized that Snape may have wanted Harry to figure out which of the Slytherins he should keep an especially close eye on.

As he and Ron walked toward Divination discussing the upcoming game against Slytherin, Harry was trying to decide if he should take up Malfoy's offer and sleep, or take up Snape's offer and practice Legilimency on people with a clean conscience.

As tired as he was, he was leaning toward sleep, until a firm set of hands grabbed him from behind and threw him against the wall. Harry recovered himself almost instantaneously, and found himself pointing a wand at a startled-looking Crabbe. Seven other wands from nearby DA members were also pointing at Crabbe, who slowly raised his hands into the air in a gesture of surrender.

"Sorry," he said. "I tripped."

"An innocent mistake," growled Ron, leaning in with his wand.

Crabbe nodded, apparently missing the sarcasm. "It was an accident."

"A most unfortunate accident, I'm afraid," Ron answered. "Now why don't you get on your knees and apologize to my best friend for 'accidentally' attacking him."

Crabbe and Harry both looked at Ron in surprise.

"And while you're down there," Ron continued, "You can apologize for every disgusting thing you've ever said about my sister."

The DA leaned in menacingly. They were very protective of their leaders. Crabbe swallowed visibly and sunk to his knees. But before he could say anything, Professor McGonagall swept around the corner, heading their way. In a flash, every DA member had tucked their wands into their robes, and were walking away as though nothing had happened.

Harry and Ron walked into class, passing the still kneeling Crabbe. Ron whispered to him, "You stay away from Ginny and Harry, or next time you won't be so lucky."

Crabbe looked into Ron's eyes and saw the threat was real. He nodded.

As Harry and Ron slipped into the forest classroom, they heard a stern voice behind them demanding, "Vincent Crabbe! What are you doing on the floor?" They snickered, and found a seat across the room from the Slytherins.

"Thanks, mate," said Harry. "That was awesome. You had Crabbe on his knees!"

Ron shrugged. "I swear if I hear one more disgusting rumor about you and Ginny, I'm going to kill someone. And since Crabbe's the one who's been doing the most talking, he's a likely candidate."

Crabbe walked into class late, and Firenze took five points from Slytherin. Ron was glaring at the Slytherins. He leaned over to Harry and motioned to them. "I wonder what it's like to be such an arse. Do you think they even know what prats the lot of them are?"

Harry shrugged, but then decided to find out. He slid eyes his across the room, letting them fall on a group of Slytherins. Crabbe was leaning back against a tree with his eyes closed in a determined but stupid-looking scowl. Harry gently opened his mind, and pried into the mind of Vince Crabbe.

He was in a terrible mood—angry and frustrated and heartbroken and angry. He thought about kneeling before the DA, and how the Dark Lord would never accept him now that he had shown such weakness. The Dark Lord would never understand what a threat the DA were to the other students now. No one would dare go up against them. Even eight to one, the Dark Lord would say that Crabbe was weak and powerless. He had nothing to offer _him_ now.

A dot of hope pushed its way through to Crabbe's consciousness. He was thinking about Luna. He saw her face clearly, smiling at him. Then her face changed. She was shaking her head sadly. "I could never be with someone who supports something so evil, Vince. We all have choices to make, and they affect us. I can't be with you if you follow in your father's footsteps."

Vince thought about his father, and about the Dark Lord. He thought about sinking to his knees when faced with eight wands, and how that would be completely unacceptable to them. Maybe he didn't have to turn away. Maybe they would reject him. Then he could be with Luna. He saw her face again, smiling at him once more. His heart melted with affection.

Harry pulled back into himself and looked across the classroom at Vince Crabbe. He felt so close to the Slytherin, reading his most intimate thoughts in that way. He felt sorry for him. He felt sick to his stomach. How could he fight against someone who was so conflicted.

He turned to Firenze and feigned interest in what he was saying while he thought over his glimpse into Crabbe's life. Eventually, Firenze's words made it below the surface of Harry's consciousness.

"... and thus we can see the grand struggles before us. Such an alignment of the planets signifies that we will find benefit in examining our loyalties, and making our decisions accordingly..."

Harry stared hard at Firenze, suddenly curious if it was possible to use Legilimency on other species. While Harry agreed with Snape that it was not fair for him to use Legilimency on teachers so long as he was a student, he reasoned that this was a special case. This was an experiment.

Harry had only to try, and he was in.

Firenze's mind was a complex web of star charts and planetary movements. He did not seem capable of thinking anything that was not directly related to the goings on of the cosmos. Every word he spoke was backed up immediately in his mind by a lifetime's worth of memories of every change in the sky and the implications of each change.

Harry was in awe. Looking into Firenze's mind was like looking into the universe itself.

And then Firenze stopped speaking, and he looked down from the stars. He turned himself so that he was looking directly at Harry. His thoughts swept quickly through sixteen years of change in the sky, settling finally on a star-lit sky that Harry understood was soon to come. 'My loyalty lies with you, Harry Potter,' thought Firenze.

He looked back up to the sky, and continued to speak. Harry was shut out of his mind.

XIXIX

Harry did manage a nap that afternoon before dinner. After dinner, he once again slipped on his invisibility cloak, and headed down to the dungeons to meet with Snape.

Snape seemed to be in a rough mood when Harry arrived. He did not indulge Harry with any jokes or even insincere glares. Immediately upon sensing Harry's arrival, he nodded, stood up, and swept out of the room without so much as a thought hello.

He paused only momentarily before grumbling "Sweet dragon loving" to the serpent at his door.

After casting a silencing charm, he snapped, "Sit down, Mr. Potter." Harry complied after removing his invisibility cloak.

"What are we working on this evening, sir?" asked Harry, who had learned that sometimes things went better between himself and Snape when he used properly respectful terms from the beginning.

"Covering your tracks," replied Snape shortly. "I want you to discover what I am thinking without me ever knowing you looked into my mind. I will remind you that I am a very skillful Occlumens, so keep in mind the variety of ways I can perhaps discover your intrusion."

"Yes sir," said Harry, and he set to the task.

He opened up his backpack and pulled out his Potions textbook and held it up in front of him so that if he glanced over the top, he was looking into Snape's eyes. Harry had found that he didn't have to look into people's eyes, but it did make it easier. At the moment, he felt like showing off, but wanted to be able to quickly glance up in case Snape's thoughts were exceedingly complex tonight.

Staring at the book, he 'felt' forward toward Snape, easing around him, getting used to the familiar feel, and slowly and carefully slipping in. Snape had his Occlumency shields up very high tonight. Harry soon realized that Snape was furious, and that his fury was feeding his power, lending energy to the task at hand. Snape was a man of such skill that emotional energy rarely went to waste. Indeed, Harry realized that breaking past his shields without Snape knowing was going to take quite a bit of effort.

Slowly and methodically, he maneuvered his way around, delving deeper until he made it in. Harry nearly dropped his book.

Snape's thoughts concerned a memory of a recent encounter with Harry. Harry was naked and moaning. Snape was pounding into him.

Harry began to sweat, confused and upset by the Potions Master's thoughts. This had to be some sort of sick game. As Harry tried to figure out what to do, a nagging thought pushed its way forward in Harry's mind. This wasn't Snape's memory. It had Malfoy's 'feel' to it. Snape was replaying a memory he had gotten from Malfoy.

"Oh fuck," said Harry.

"It would seem so," mused Snape darkly. "I commend you in slipping past my shields unnoticed. Only your physical mannerisms and your slip of the tongue revealed to me your accomplishment."

Panicked, Harry set his book down and looked up imploringly. "Professor, I—"

"What? Didn't mean to? I seem to remember warning you against such a relationship, Mr. Potter. So I hope you won't mind my asking WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME ARE YOU THINKING!"

Harry leaned forward and put his head in his hands. They sat in a stony silence for several minutes while Harry tried to organize his thoughts. He had put so much effort into hiding his 'thing' with Malfoy from Snape, and it never once occurred to him that Malfoy could not hide it as well. A lot of people would not understand what was going on between Harry and Malfoy. Harry hardly understood it himself.

Finally, Harry looked back up and spoke. "It's not a 'relationship', Professor. It's just sex. It's stress relief. It's a distraction. We're not in love, and I'm not sharing information about the Order or about my training with him. It's just sex."

"I doubt that, Mr. Potter. I cannot imagine that two young wizards would put their own lives in so much danger for the sake of 'just sex'. I might remind you that you have greater things to _die_ for than a tryst with Draco Malfoy."

Snape's last sentence hit Harry like a kick in the gut. He felt a fury to match Snape's well up within him. In his mind's eye, he was destroying the room in a fit of rage. In reality, he clenched and unclenched his fists, and then stood up and began to pace the room.

Snape was saying something to him, but Harry couldn't hear him. His ears were pounding. He could feel the beat of his heart, the flow of his blood. He could feel his energy, his life, vibrating through every last cell in his body.

He had to show him, somehow. If Snape told anyone about this, it could be disastrous. The Order would not understand why Harry was shagging the son of a Death Eater. But Snape might.

Harry turned back to Snape. He was standing. He was yelling. Harry couldn't hear his voice. He couldn't make out what he was saying, what he was thinking. It didn't matter.

Harry strode forward and took Snape's hands in his. Snape stopped yelling, and instead just looked at Harry in angry confusion. Harry turned them and they sat down so that they were facing each other.

"Severus," said Harry, "Look at me."

Snape looked into Harry's eyes and Harry locked him in. They were linked much more powerfully than they had ever been before. Through his hands, Harry could feel his pulse and Snape's pulse as they synchronized. He could feel Snape's energy flowing through him, and he connected to it. Through his eyes, Harry fed Snape a steady stream of himself, beginning from his very first memory.

He continued the feed through ten years of loveless life with the Dursleys, through his wonder and embarrassment upon discovering the wizarding world and his own fame, through meeting Voldemort while rescuing the Sorcerer's Stone, his isolation when everyone thought he was the heir of Slytherin, how his suspicions of Malfoy led the three of them to brew a Polyjuice Potion with stolen ingredients, how he readily faced expulsion to find Ginny, everything, everything that transpired when Harry met his godfather and helped him to escape, his fear of the Dementors, his isolation as he faced the Triwizard Tournament without his best friend at his side, the rise of Voldemort and the death of Cedric, his jumble of feelings as he learned to cope with death, his closeness to Sirius, his short relationship with Cho, his dreams of the Department of Mysteries, and how his fear of losing a parent and guilt over not saving Cedric led him into a trap, led him to losing his godfather, all of his anger, all of his grief, all of the time he spent rebuilding himself, Dumbledore teaching him Occlumency and Harry having one more barrier between him and the rest of the world, all of his powers, all of his memories, all of his enemies, and the prophecy looming large ahead of him, all of his confusion, all of his grief, all of his anger, all of his alienation from the rest of the teens at this school who were happy and had parents and love problems and insecurities about pimples instead of Dark Lords, and Harry, ever-stepping further and further away from what reality _should have held_ for him...

And Malfoy, who was beautiful and complicated and who allowed Harry to forget for hours at a time that he wasn't just some kid with an impossible crush on a boy with mood swings and a girlfriend, who made Harry laugh and moan with pleasure, and how it was worth it just to feel 'normal' for a little while...

Harry and Snape were nose to nose, their eyes glued to each other, millimeters apart. Their eyelashes were brushing each other's; their hands were clenched together.

"Sev, can you blame me?" whispered Harry.

"No, Harry, I can't" whispered Snape.

"But?"

"But it's too dangerous. You must keep in mind who you are dealing with. Draco does not do anything without self-interested motivations." They were pulling away from each other slowly, gently breaking the link. "Harry, this isn't love we're talking about. And it isn't 'just sex' either. I advise you to end this before you find out how truly dangerous a Malfoy can be."

"Sev, it's not like that."

"Harry, it is. Look for yourself if you don't believe me."

Harry looked away. There was a grief welling up between them that was partially Harry's, partially Snape's. Harry understood suddenly that Snape really did understand everything that Harry had gone through in his life, because Snape had seen so much worse. Of course he wouldn't begrudge Harry this bit of happiness. He was angry because of who it was, not what it was. And he would not be able to get past that.

"Are you going to tell the Order?" asked Harry quietly.

"Not at this point, no. But I do expect you to reexamine your choices in this matter."

"Are you going to tell Lucius Malfoy?"

Snape gave Harry a wry smile. "Lucius Malfoy is no Occlumens. He would have to report his son to the Dark Lord, who would then torture Draco, perhaps to death, and use him to get to you if possible. Nor can I mention this to Draco, because if anyone were to discover that I knew of this and did not report it to the Dark Lord, I too would be tortured."

"Sev, how did you ever get into this?"

Snape looked at Harry sadly. "That, you don't want to know."

"Professor Snape," hissed a voice that Harry recognized to be the serpent at Snape's door, "You have a visitor—Ms. Perenelle Flamel."

Snape rose and walked to open the door for Perenelle.

"Ah, Ms. Flamel, to what do I owe this honor? Do come in." Snape bowed slightly, and Perenelle walked in.

"Well, Severus," she said as she entered, "I had a stroke of brilliance regarding your potion dilemma..."

"And what was that, pray-tell?" asked Snape as he closed the door.

"That we go ahead and experiment on our little guinea pig," said Perenelle with a smile.

Harry walked over to her and hugged her deeply.

"Whoa, Harry, are you alright?" she asked, hugging him back.

"Long day," he said. "You don't want to know."

"Really," said Snape. "You don't." He conjured some tea and they sat down and began discussing Harry's next round of potions.

The potion was a deep, opaque teal. It had elements of lucid dreaming, bonding, pain inhibiting, sleeping, focusing, calming, and rejuvenating in it. They were hoping the delicate balance they'd struck would allow Harry the benefits of the first potion, but would allow him to remain asleep even if he severed the connection with Voldemort, and would allow his sleep to be more productive as far as restoring his body went.

Snape told Harry that he may carefully look into Voldemort's deeper thoughts and memories during this round of potions, but that he was to move slowly and avoid any areas that were heavily shielded.

As they spoke, Harry and Snape slowly pulled away from each other, distancing themselves from the closeness they felt while they were linked. Harry knew that, among other things, Snape was uncomfortable with such emotional intimacy. And for his part, Harry knew that he had no intention of breaking things off with Malfoy at this point.

Hidden beneath his cloak, Harry left at the same time as Perenelle. He made his way out of the castle and toward the Quidditch pitch where Malfoy should have been waiting, but the area was empty. He checked the locker rooms, the bleachers, and then walked to the lake.

Malfoy was nowhere around.

Harry made his way back to Gryffindor tower, doubts crowding his mind. But he shut them out of his head as Ginny pulled him into conversation with a group of his friends. Several people noted that they missed having Harry around in the evenings.

Harry had a good time with his friends. Part of him was arguing inside him that he didn't need Malfoy in order to feel normal. But another part of him kept slipping in memories of the adventures, struggles, and loss that he had experienced with everyone surrounding him. He didn't have those memories with the blonde.

When he walked up to his room that night, he saw a note on his pillow.

"Oh yeah," said Ron, "That came for you while you were out."

Harry opened it and saw a quick, scribbled note.

_Something has come up tonight._

Meet me tomorrow.

-Phantom  
  
Harry smiled to himself. Judging by the sloppy handwriting, Malfoy had been in quite a hurry. But he still took the time to write Harry a note. He must have been worried that Harry would stop showing up the way Malfoy had when Harry missed one night.

Cute.

Harry climbed into bed with a smile on his face. He drained one vial of the potion, and settled himself down to sleep.

_FLASH_

Did Harry even close his eyes? He recognized right away that he was asleep, that he was dreaming, that he was inside Voldemort's head. He was in the study and he was pleased. Lucius Malfoy was kneeling before him.

He was a very powerful wizard—one who could get things done. He was the only Death Eater who had been caught red-handed, and yet managed to free himself from Azkaban without a prison-break. His contacts in the Ministry made him extremely useful. His lack of conscience took care of the rest. No wizard could defy Lucius Malfoy.

And here he is, bowing to me.

"Yes, my servant?"

"Master, the Ministry will stall any overseas aid. Our outposts have nothing to fear. No other magical government is prepared to resist us. Once we have control afar, the Ministry will send aid, weakening forces at home. Then nothing can stop you from seizing control."

Voldemort was amused, and Harry carefully slipped deeper to get a firmer hold on the plans. What countries were they in? Who in the Ministry did they influence? Harry felt sure he was getting close to these answers when Lucius continued speaking.

"And my son sends word. He overheard from the mouth of Harry Potter himself that he has begun a twin bond with Arthur Weasley's youngest. The daughter."

Harry focused himself to keep from panicking. He calmed himself, and carefully removed himself from Voldemort's head.

In his dream, he transported himself into the wandless spellcasting room, and began blasting it to bits in a fit of rage, a steady stream of expletives pouring from his mouth. He knew, but didn't care in the least, that sooner or later Snape and Perenelle would be reading all about this.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: I know, I know. Harry and Malfoy are one of those frustrating on-again, off-again couples. They just can't seem to make up their minds. I guess it goes with all the baggage that they're both carrying around. Abuse, neglect, and Dark Lords breed dysfunctional relationships.

I _will_ say that this probably is not the end of things between them. Probably.

Also, folks. It is time to decide. Longer waits for longer chapters, or shorter waits for shorter chapters- what do you think?

Wintermoon2- Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Snape's grief has to do with intimacy issues and now he's forming a link with Harry Potter, who was never his favorite person. Is there more to it than that? Yes. Are you going to have to wait to find out what? Yes.

Aiguma- Thank you! I like them all too. It's hard to write Harry's temper moodswings. I wanted to continue with the anger he felt, but I wanted him to have learned something after he lost Sirius, and not just mope around letting his emotions take over him completely. I mean, if he hadn't learned from all the loss he's experienced, he'd be in St. Mungo's mental ward. Thanks for reading/reviewing.

Nemati- Thank you very much. As it so happens, it is fun to write this, which of course means that my other, more publishable book is suffering... oops.

Localfreak- Hahahahahahahaha! If you haven't seen Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill, you have got to go right out and rent/buy the DVD/VHS. It's a scream. Complete with Sean Connery playing the part of Noah in the Bible. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat- I'm glad you love the snake! And I'm glad my shower scene isn't too graphic. I'm still a tad pissed that Wintermoon2 had the Showers taken down from her account. Not fair, not fair. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. I love hearing from you.

Yuki Kurai- Thank you, and here's some, um, more Harry and Draco, and a potential promise of more to come.

Simply Slytherin- Hahaha! Thank you! But of course Harry had it in him- recently deflowered by the Slytherin Sex God (his unofficial title), and then a week with no play? What else could he have done? And I concur with the Sirius statement. That was why I wrote it. After he died, the hardest part for me was when Harry found the mirror. It wasn't just a beckoning device. He could have just talked to his godfather anytime, and he missed out. Made me cry. Anyway, thanks for the Gryndilow wards. And keep up the SMASHING good reviews. You know I love them!

Tsuyuno- Thanks. Hee hee. They're an egalitarian couple. Taking turns and what not. Thanks for reading/reviewing.

Desertrain- You rock! You stayed up to read my story! And then you told me about it! And you liked it! Yay! I feel so special! Hope you like this chapter too!

CS WhiteWolf- Thank you for the amazing compliment! And I've always been fond of Harry/Severus friendships, even more, just because of their dynamic personalities. And you're right about the beginning of their friendship usually being with Harry being abused. The ones I like best were stories when they started off as friends, with a vague history of reconciliation in the background during the war, but now it's over, etc. So I wanted to fill in the blanks of those stories. Of course, you could make the argument that this friendship started with Snape being abused, but I try to look at it like they were thrown together by circumstance and necessity, and are discovering that their rough lives give them a lot in common, and that their opposing personalities play off each other nicely. Anyway, thank you for the review. It was a major ego-boost.

Phayze- Thank you, I will!

Joyce- Thank you! Here's one more chapter, and um, we'll see what we can do about the Malfoy request, 'kay?

Pamela- I wanted to put better password action in this Chapter, but taking into account Snape's mood, he just wouldn't have anything to do with the game tonight. But more to come- I hope you enjoy them!

DKstories- Thank you! You stayed up late for me too! You rock! Of course, I already knew that after reading your stories. Speaking of which, I'm trying to rush to get in all the components of my ending in place before you finish the Destiny of Prophecies. I'm pretty sure I'm not going the same way as you, but I do want to say that I had this story mapped out before I got hooked on your fics, so I really don't think I'm stealing anything from you! And you're worth the reference. I'm hooked.

GotRyceBo- Thank you. I'm glad you liked Chapter 11, and I hope you like Chapter 12. No promises on happy endings with Harry and Malfoy, though. Sorry. But we'll see what we can do.


	13. Hope and Betrayal

A/N: Back again! I received slightly more votes for shorter waits for shorter chapters, although I must say that the longer waits for longer chapters people had more compelling arguments. People who wanted shorter chapters were just impatient. But hey, I hear you. I am too. So, I'm going to try to go for the shorter waits for shorter chapters, BUT, if it turns out it will be a longer wait, I will provide you with a longer chapter. For instance, I went out of town for a week and didn't get any writing done while I was gone. So when I came back, I created the long chapter below. Fair enough?

X

XIX

XIXIX "Hope and Betrayal" XIXIX

Harry woke to the sounds of frantic yelling.

He opened his eyes blearily, but then leapt into action when he realized his bed and quite a bit of his dorm room were on fire. His roommates were already awake and casting water spells on everything.

Within minutes, they had extinguished the flames. The boys looked around at the soggy and sooty room, blackened with burn marks.

Dean picked up a limp and dripping textbook. He turned to Harry, red in the face, and threw it at him. "DAMN IT, HARRY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "You have GOT to start controlling your dreams!"

Harry looked at Dean, lost for words. He had no idea what was going on. "What—?"

"You were casting fireballs in your sleep, you stupid git!"

Harry stumbled backward and looked around. He had been dreaming of destroying the wandless spellcasting practice room, and in his dream had just started casting fireballs. He had never heard of anyone casting spells in their sleep. But of course, hardly anyone slept with their wand in their hand, and almost no one was capable of casting spells empty handed.

All he could think to say was, "Holy fuck."

XIXIX

The sixth year Gryffindor boys spent the next hour cleaning the room enough so that they could go back to sleep. Dean and Seamus also spent that hour swearing at Harry. Harry couldn't blame them. Ron and Neville joined in the swearing too, but they seemed to have a bit of underlying worry for Harry that helped to calm their anger at least somewhat.

Once the room was dry and his roommates were back in bed, Harry made his way down to the common room with his charmed quill and some parchment. He poured out every remembered detail of his dream, and now felt more than a bit embarrassed at the thought of Snape and Perenelle reading all about his temper tantrum.

He was also more than a bit upset at Malfoy's betrayal.

Who was he kidding? Harry could never have had a normal relationship with Malfoy. They weren't a secret because of Malfoy's girlfriend, or because they were in competing Houses. They were a secret because Malfoy was the son of Death Eaters, and Harry was Harry Potter. It had to end like this. Or worse.

Harry was furious with Malfoy, but also with himself. Snape was right. He did have better things to die for. How could he have been so stupid to have fallen for a lying, arrogant, manipulative, vicious, weak-willed, slimy, stuck-up, condescending, prick of a bastard, Junior Death Eater git like Draco Malfoy!

When he was finished writing, he sat on a couch and stared into the fireplace, throttling pillows that he pretended were Malfoy's neck. He growled softly with the idea of hexing him into the next century. Eventually he exhausted himself and went back up to bed, where he tossed and turned in restless sleep.

He knew he had slept late when he woke up because the room was flooded with sunlight. There were no curtains on his bed, as they had been burned away the night before.

Harry lay staring at the wall for several minutes wondering how he could face Malfoy without killing him. He also wondered how he could face Ginny. He had betrayed her. Now that Voldemort knew she was his sister, she would be a greater target. What had possessed him to tell Malfoy about her?

He groaned and reached for his glasses. As the world leapt into focus, he noticed Ron lying on his bed, apparently absorbed in a book.

"What's going on, Harry?" he asked without looking up.

Harry knew what he meant, and had no clue how to even begin to explain. "Nothing," he said.

Ron reached into his robe pocket and drew out his wand. He cast a locking spell on the door, and a silencing spell on the room. Finally, he looked over at Harry.

"You were throwing fireballs in your sleep, Harry. That's not nothing."

Harry looked down.

Ron sat up and faced him. "Are we still friends?"

"Of course!" said Harry, meeting Ron's eye. "Why would you ask that?"

"I know you've got secrets, Harry. I know there are things going on in the Order that you're not telling us. Maybe that you can't tell us. I know your boyfriend doesn't want you to tell anyone who he is, including us. I understand this.

"But, Harry," Ron shook his head, "The trio is falling apart. I mean, Hermione's off doing her research thing. She's only just now starting to really speak to me again since she and Victor broke up, but she's still so far away. And you, well, you're doing your 'Savior of the Wizarding World' thing with your training, and whatever else..." he waved his arms around carelessly. "But what am I supposed to do? I'm not content to be the jealous bloke on the sidelines. And I'm sure as Hades not going to sit by while my best friend slips away from us and starts casting fireballs in his sleep." They both smiled slightly. "What I'm saying is, we're a team, the three of us. The four of us, I guess, with Ginny. It's always been that way. And we've always come through.

"If it's true what Hermione's been reading between the lines in the Daily Prophet, What's-His-Name is making his way across the board, and he's intent on a checkmate. We have got to get off our arses and work together. Hermione's brains, your courage, my strategy, Ginny's strength..."

Harry nodded, a fire burning in his eye. "You're right. Ron, I've been a total dipshit. But it stops now. We've got a lot of work to do, and the stakes are getting higher, and more personal."

_Ginny's in more danger._

Harry hesitated, and looked out the window. How could he expect his friends to walk into such danger for him? Had he been unconsciously pushing them away so they wouldn't get hurt? He thought again about the Department of Mysteries, and Hermione going down clutching her chest, Ron getting tangled in brains, Sirius falling through the curtain... He shook his head slightly.

Ron picked up on Harry's thoughts, and said, "Harry, we're doing this with you and that's final. So don't even start with worries about danger or risk. Our lives are in danger because Voldemort is alive, not because we're friends with you."

Harry looked back to Ron, slightly shocked. "Ron, you said his name!"

Ron flushed, and then grinned. "Well, it had to happen sometime, right?"

XIXIX

Harry got ready for the day, and Ron went to find Ginny and Hermione so that they could all meet before lunch. But as they headed past the Great Hall to find a secluded space outside to talk, they were intercepted by Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter," she said, "You will come with me to the headmaster's office immediately."

Harry turned to look at his three friends apologetically, and said, "I'll see you at lunch, okay?" They nodded, and watched their friend make his way down the hall with their very angry-looking Head of House.

As they entered Dumbledore's office, Harry was greeted by a group of familiar faces. Sitting in chairs that had somehow been crammed comfortably into the room, were Snape, Perenelle, Nicolas, Victor Krum, Angelina Johnson, Fleur Delacour, Bill Weasley, Tonks, and Remus Lupin.

He greeted them all with hugs and handshakes, pausing to bask in Lupin's fatherly pride as he assured everyone he had been doing well. He sat between Lupin and Perenelle who seemed to be trying to outdo each other in showering Harry with affection.

"Is this a serious meeting?" Harry muttered to Perenelle.

"Yes, I believe so," she whispered back.

"Then you might want to cool it with your sweeter emotions." Harry indicated the group in the office, who were chatting and laughing light-heartedly as though none of them had a care in the world.

"Oops! Yeah, I guess you're right." She nudged Nicolas, and Harry felt their powers subsiding to normal levels. He wondered if they purposefully raised their sweeter emotions when they met new people, or if it was an unconscious action. He was just about to ask, when Dumbledore called the meeting to order.

"We are all aware that Death Eater activity has increased dramatically just recently, against both the wizarding and muggle communities. This meeting was called so that we might bring together our knowledge of the foreign attacks, and perhaps come to understand Voldemort's plan." Everyone nodded. "Mr. Krum, why don't you begin?"

Victor nodded, and began a long list of Death Eater activity in his area. Bulgaria and Albania were both experiencing economic crises, which led to rioting in the streets. Voldemort was using the muggle financial situation to his advantage by having his Death Eaters in the area strategically assassinate both wizarding and muggle leaders. He was doing the same in Tajikistan, Turkey, Greece, and Russia, as well abducting wizards and muggles alike.

Uncertainty and fear had put each of these countries on edge, so that muggle governments were often facing risk of rebellion, and wizarding governments were overwhelmed with containing illegal uses of magic by obliviating masses of muggle memories and covering large-scale attacks by making them appear to be no more than muggle terrorism, as well as dealing with direct attacks on the wizarding world.

Fleur jumped in that France, Spain, and Portugal were having similar difficulties, although the governments were better equipped to contain such things. They were not yet reaching desperate levels.

Bill, who was currently working in Germany, agreed that things were much the same in Germany, Austria, and the Czech Republic. Of the three, Germany was having the least difficulty staving off the Death Eaters, but all three countries were swimming in fear.

Angelina and Tonks then updated the state of things in the United Kingdom. Attacks against the wizarding community were as yet only mild attacks, when compared to what was happening elsewhere, including in the muggle community in England. As the government that had previously fought the Dark Lord, the local Ministry of Magic was by far the best equipped to deal with an outright fight against the Death Eaters, but they were currently tied up with numerous minor attacks against the wizarding community, as well as covering up even more numerous, and oftentimes lethal attacks against the muggle community.

"It's as though Voldemort is trying to keep us busy, keep us from resting, but not actually trying to escalate the war in England," concluded Tonks.

Harry motioned that he wanted to speak. "I have it on good authority that that is exactly what Voldemort is trying to do," he said. "He plans to continue attacking weaker governments afar until the Ministry has no choice but to send aid. Then, while half the Ministry is tied up with muggle attacks, and the other half is overseas, the war will begin here. The plan is that by the time he gains control of England, every other government in Eurasia will have been weakened enough so that no one will pose a significant threat. He will steadily and relentlessly chip away our strength until we pose no challenge. And in the meantime, everyone lives under a shroud of fear."

Harry noticed Dumbledore's almost imperceptible glance over at Snape, who sat brooding quietly. Harry felt a pang of worry, but shoved it away when Dumbledore spoke.

"It appears we have a great many things to account for while we plan our resistance. Is anyone opposed to eating here while we discuss our options?"

Harry thought about his plans to meet with his friends, but they would have to wait. This was a meeting at which Harry had to be present.

Dumbledore conjured some sandwiches and pumpkin juice, and the group spent the next several hours arguing over the various tactics they could use to stop the Death Eaters.

While Harry listened to his friends and fellow Order members speaking about the difficulties with fighting the subversive Death Eaters, what felt like a muted panic grew within him, eating at his stomach. So many people were out risking their lives, so many people were living in fear, so many people were dying, waiting for Harry to get his act together and vanquish Voldemort once and for all.

As Voldemort grew in power and his Death Eaters grew in number, Harry stumbled through his training at the very safe Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. He felt guilt pressing in on him.

'Harry,' he heard. He looked over at Snape, who was not speaking. How had he gotten past Harry's Occlumency shields?

'What, Severus?'

'It's going to be okay. Don't rush your training, or you will not succeed. Voldemort has sixty years of magical experience on you. The world can wait until you are ready.'

Harry nodded just slightly. 'Thanks.'

'And Harry, get your heart off your sleeve.' Snape's lips twitched with a slight smile.

Harry put on his mask of confidence and returned his attentions to the conversation.

They decided that Eurasia would have to appeal for aid from other continents. This would not be easy, as very few alliances from so far away were strong enough that a large number of witches and wizards would willingly travel half a world away to fight a dark menace that had nothing to do with them. As yet, there was no indication that Voldemort planned to spread his reign beyond continental boundaries.

Harry would never have thought they would be good candidates, but Nicolas and Perenelle immediately volunteered to help seek aid. Having lived for over six hundred years, they spoke many languages without the use of a Translation Charm. They were good with words, and hopefully, their sweeter emotions would come in handy as they tried to convince foreign ministries to help.

Harry agreed to their reasoning, but objected nonetheless. "Leaving Hogwarts means leaving security. We've already established that Voldemort means to gain control of you in order to obtain a Sorcerer's Stone. Traveling to foreign ministries leaves you wide open for attack."

"Then they won't go alone," said Tonks. "I'll appeal to the Ministry to be assigned as one of a number of bodyguards. We'll appeal to every wizarding government in Eurasia who desires foreign aid, to send the services of a bodyguard. It's time that the Ministries begin working together, and with the Order of the Phoenix as well."

"There is far too much by way of politics that divides the Ministries," said Lupin. "I don't know that they are ready yet to unite."

"Damn it, this is no time for politics," exclaimed Angelina. "We have a common enemy and we must unite or we will be destroyed!"

"Quite right," said Professor McGonagall. "We are at war, and we cannot win standing separately. So how do we go about uniting the governments?"

"And vhat do I say to my people vhen I return?" asked Victor. "That aid is coming and they should vait? Even vith foreign aid, that only offers my people a hope of a longer var before they die. They need more hope than that. They need an end to be in sight."

"We all know where this ends," said Harry, with more confidence than he felt. "The problem is that I don't want to think that people are fighting a war, dying in battle, just to buy time so that I can finish training."

"But you can't fight until you've finished training," said Bill reasonably. "Everyone knows that. You're our last hope."

"Hope is vhat ve need," said Victor.

"'Arry," said Fleur, "I know zat, cooped up in zis school, zat 'ou may be unaware, but ze world outside ze school is behind 'ou. I zink zat people will come togezer in support of 'ou, and give 'ou whatevair time 'ou need, if 'ou just give zem some hope."

"What? Do you mean that Harry should hold a press conference and tell everyone that he's training hard, and to just keep fighting those Death Eaters?" asked Angelina.

"Zat is exactly what I mean," replied Fleur.

"That is not a bad idea," said Victor. "My people hear rumors of a prophecy about the Boy Who Lived, that he can stop this var. Is this true, Harry?"

Harry looked to Dumbledore who nodded with a twinkle in his eye.

"Yes, Victor. It's true."

"Then you must tell the people," said Victor.

"Yes, 'Arry. 'Ou must tell ze people!"

"Now wait just a minute!" interjected Lupin. "I agree that the wizarding world needs to unite, but that doesn't mean that Harry has to become the icon they unite behind!"

"Remus," said McGonagall, "He has been since he was one year old!"

"He already has his own fan club," agreed Angelina.

Harry nodded purposefully. "I'll do it."

"Harry!"

"Remus," Harry said quietly. "We all knew this was coming. And Victor and Fleur are right. People need hope. Things are getting so desperate now. If there isn't an end in sight, then what's the use of even bothering to fight?"

Lupin shook his head.

"What did you tell me in the hospital?" asked Harry. "You said people would unite behind me. Well, now's the time for unity."

Lupin put his hand on Harry's shoulder, and Harry could see his eyes were tearing a little as he said, "You really are a perfect mix of James and Lily, you know that?"

Harry smiled, but then felt a wave of upset feelings wash over him. Just as soon as he felt it, it was gone, but Harry had noticed that it had Snape's 'feel' to it. He made a mental note to talk to him about it later.

XIXIX

After the meeting, Harry hung around to talk to everybody for a short while. Victor asked a lot of questions about Hermione's well-being. Harry assured him that she was fine.

Before Harry left that afternoon, Professor McGonagall gave him a detention for destroying his room the night before. She informed him he would serve it tonight with Professor Snape.

Harry hurried back to the common room to find his friends. They finally made their way outside for a private talk.

Harry told them everything he had learned in the Order meeting that afternoon. He also explained to him about how the Death Eater activity discussed fit in with the dream he had had in Voldemort's head the night before.

"Was he casting fireballs at Lucius Malfoy?" asked Ron hopefully.

"No," said Harry, his eyes darkening. "But I need to talk to you all about that too."

He looked at Ginny. 'I've betrayed you,' he thought, 'And now you might be in danger.'

"What?" she asked, regarding Harry and the strange look he was giving her.

"Lucius also reported to Voldemort that... um..." he paused. This was really hard. "Malfoy knows about how you're my sister, and he told his dad that we're going to become twins. Now Voldemort knows as well."

"Oh, Merlin," whispered Hermione.

"Bloody Hell," said Ron.

Harry held eye contact with Ginny, oceans of guilt flowing through him. He would tell her later how Malfoy found out. But he wasn't ready yet. Thoughts of Malfoy still tasted like bile in his throat. His eyes began to well up with tears.

"Harry, it's okay," said Ginny.

Harry shook his head. "It's not, really. All these people are dying. And everyone I care about is in danger, because of me."

"Harry, you're not killing people," said Hermione sensibly. "We have no control over Voldemort or his Death Eaters. And we can't help that time has given him a bit of an edge."

"Luckily though," said Ginny, "Your power has given you a bit of an edge. And we're not going to lose that edge by letting a guilty feeling Harry Potter jump into battle before he's ready."

"I have an idea," said Ron. "How many people are in the DA now? 150?"

"Yeah, just about," said Ginny.

"Well, we've been training them to fight. What about training them in strategy. We can stage mock wars, all over the grounds of Hogwarts. And this way we can help map out strategies for the real battles to come. If we hit on anything really useful, we can send it on to the Order, and to the Ministries. They're going to need all the help they can get trying to figure out how to unite witches and wizards from so many different places."

"Ron, that's brilliant," said Harry. "Ginny, can we do this?"

"Absolutely," she said. "Hell, we can start tomorrow. Tonight, we should plan—oh, wait, I guess you'll be with your boyfriend tonight."

Harry glowered. "We broke up. I'm all yours." Ginny startled, and stared at Harry for a moment, distinguishing between what she heard and what he meant.

"Okay then, tonight... Are you okay?"

"Not really. We left things on really bad terms."

"Just tell us who it is and we'll hex him to oblivion," said Ron.

Harry smirked viciously as he thought about the four of them engaging Malfoy in battle, and cursing the hell out of him. But first, his friends would curse the hell out of _him_ for ever having gone out with Malfoy. And later, Lucius Malfoy or Voldemort, one, would torture Malfoy and then cast the Killing Curse on him. And as angry as Harry was, he did not believe that Malfoy deserved to die.

"As tempting as that is," began Harry, "I think I'll pass."

"Alright then," said Ron. "We'll just go ahead with the battle plans, and with any luck, he'll get caught in the crossfire."

Harry smirked.

"Battle," whispered Hermione.

"Huh?" said Ginny.

Hermione was lost in a daze. The others stared at her expectantly, knowing that something brilliant was coming together in her mind.

Ron leaned over and whispered very quietly into Harry's ear, "I bet she runs off to the library as soon as she comes to."

Ginny shot them a curious glance, and was about to inquire about their whispers when Hermione suddenly jumped up and declared, "I have to go see Trelawney!" She grabbed her things and ran off, the other three watching her go.

"Well, that's a new one," said Ron.

XIXIX

Harry, Ron, and Ginny walked back up to the common room deep in conversation about their various plans. Harry and Ginny sat down to write a letter to Rita Skeeter about doing another interview that would be translated and internationally distributed. They made sure to flatter her respectfully by reminding her of the success of their last interview and telling her that unless she was too busy, they couldn't think of asking another reporter.

Harry was amazed at Ginny's revisions, and joked that maybe she should just go ahead and write the article herself.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said. "Rita Skeeter is a _name_ in the reporting world. And she's known for being quite vicious. So when she writes something good about someone, people listen, and they believe. Harry, if she pulls off this article, the wizarding world will be filled with so much hope and determination that the Death Eaters may as well just lay down their wands and crawl to Azkaban."

When dinnertime arrived, Hermione had still not returned from her visit to Trelawney.

Ron looked up from his chess set. "Do you think she's okay?"

Ginny shrugged. "You know how Hermione gets when she's reading. And you know she didn't go up there for the conversation."

"Did you come up with anything, Ron?" asked Harry.

Ron had been pouring over his chess set as a means of developing battlefield strategies to try out tomorrow. "As a matter of fact, I did. And, I think I've come up with a new Quidditch tactic that we might be able to use against Slytherin."

Harry groaned at the thought of facing Malfoy on the Quidditch pitch. The game was still two weeks away, so he still had time to get himself ready.

For now, he mentally prepared himself for dinner. It would be the first time he saw Malfoy today. Harry thought about what Snape might suggest, behavior-wise. He had to project strength and confidence. The best thing to do would be to ignore him, to sit with his back to the Slytherins. He could hurt and be angry on the inside, but if he let this show, and someone figured out why... too many bad things could happen.

Hermione didn't show up at dinner, and Ginny kept telling Ron not to worry. Harry wondered idly if Ginny knew something they didn't. He wondered if Hermione and Victor were meeting up this evening.

Ginny kept her eyes on Harry for almost the entire meal. She had the same calculating look Hermione often wore when trying to figure out a particularly complex problem. Harry kept waiting for the ball to drop, but Ginny said nothing to him.

As they joined the mass of students leaving the Great Hall after dinner, Harry pretended not to notice as Malfoy made his way toward him through the crowd. Ron wound up being swept a few people ahead of him, but Ginny stayed fast at his side.

As Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle shoved their way through the crowd, Malfoy pushed against Harry, quickly giving his behind a squeeze. Harry knocked his hand away, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Watch it, Malfoy," he spat angrily.

Malfoy kept his face masked pretty well, but Harry could see through it now. He seemed taken aback by Harry's reaction, knowing he wasn't pretending.

"What crawled up your arse and died?" snarled Malfoy, who then proceeded to shove his way through the crowd. Harry watched him go, seething with anger. He barely processed that he stumbled when Crabbe shoved violently past him.

Ron was waiting with Neville at the bottom of the Gryffindor Tower stairs for them. Harry made for the stairs, but Ginny grabbed him firmly by the arm.

"Guys, we'll meet you up there in a minute," she said pointedly. "Harry and I have something to discuss."

Harry felt his heart sink into his stomach. Ron gave Harry a sympathetic look. He knew that Ginny's tone indicated that Harry was in trouble. He motioned to Neville that they needed to get out of there, and fast.

Still holding his arm, Ginny led Harry through the hallways until they found an unlocked classroom. It was Firenze's.

Ginny glanced around and sighed, seemingly at the trees themselves.

"Ginny, what—?"

"Ssh," she said. She pulled out her wand and said, "_Retegere Hominum_!"

A light began to glow off in the corner of the room. Ginny and Harry made their way to it, and found two third year Ravenclaws snogging behind a tree. The broke away embarrassedly, scrambling to their feet.

"We have a DA meeting tomorrow afternoon outside," said Ginny authoritatively. "Don't be late."

The two lovebirds nodded, flushing bright red, and quickly left the room. Ginny cast a locking spell on the door, and a silencing spell on the room. Then her calm demeanor diminished almost instantaneously, and she turned angrily on Harry.

"Draco Malfoy, Harry!" she nearly screamed. "Draco Malfoy! What in Merlin's name are you thinking!" She swatted at him, slapping his shoulders and head while Harry ducked away.

"Ginny," he said weakly.

"Don't even try to deny, you prat! He grabbed your arse! I saw it!" She stamped her foot. "You told him, didn't you? Didn't you!" She swatted at him again.

He looked at her from between his arms that he held up to block her attack. "Yes," he admitted. "I told him."

"Why?" she asked, her voice breaking.

'Please don't cry,' thought Harry. 'Scream and hit all you want, but please don't cry.'

"He was asking about you. I thought he was jealous, so I was telling him there was nothing to worry about. I didn't... I thought..." Harry was beginning to choke up, himself. "I just..."

Ginny narrowed her reddening eyes at him. As she realized what he was trying to put into words, her face dropped for a second, revealing a sadness that she had been holding in for some time.

"Oh, Merlin, Harry," she said brokenly. "You're in l..." She turned away, and the tears started to fall.

Harry was trembling, his own heartache growing, compounded with the sight of Ginny in tears.

Suddenly, Ginny's sadness turned to rage, and she caught Harry off guard with a punch in the chest. Harry staggered backward slightly, and Ginny kept hitting him about the torso, this time with closed fists.

"How dare you! How dare you fall in love with him!" she screamed.

Harry didn't back away this time. Instead he grabbed her, and pulled her close until she stopped hitting him. She buried her face in his chest, clinging angrily to his robes, and cried.

"I'm so sorry, Ginny," Harry whispered hoarsely.

"How dare you," she whispered.

They stood together, clutching each other desperately, crying against each other, letting out their hurt.

Eventually, Ginny pulled away, wiping her eyes with her fingers, and sniffing dejectedly.

"Are you okay?" asked Harry, wiping his face with the sleeve of his robe.

"Is it over?" she asked.

"Yes. I betrayed you, Ginny. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you."

Ginny shook her head. "You didn't realize... You never do." She sighed. "Damn it, Harry, you lie to yourself way too much, you know that?"

They looked into each other's eyes, and Ginny said, "No, of course you don't know that. Look, we'll get through this. We know that Voldemort knows, so we just won't be caught off guard. That's one more thing to plan for, is all."

"You're not mad?"

"What, are you joking? Of course I'm mad! I'm ready to beat the ever-living shit out of you. And Malfoy. But that won't solve anything, and as it happens, I've sworn myself to help you as much as I can, and landing you in the infirmary would be kind of counter-productive, don't you think?"

Harry couldn't believe his ears. "I don't deserve this kind of loyalty."

"Yes you do, Harry. You screw up royally sometimes, but you are most definitely worth the trouble. I'd stand with you even if there were no prophecy. You remember that."

Harry just looked at her. He didn't need to use Legilimency to know she was telling the truth.

"I'm keeping your secret, just like I swore I would," she continued. "But I'm still mad at you. So don't expect a lot of sympathy from me right now, okay?"

Harry nodded. "Thanks, Ginny. You're too good to be true, you know that?"

"As a matter of fact," she said dryly, "I do."

XIXIX

They sat down in the common room with Ron and Neville, and began planning out battle strategies to try out in their DA meeting Sunday afternoon.

"We're going to have to tell Dumbledore about this before the meeting," said Ginny. "Can you imagine what would happen if some teachers stumbled onto an all-out battle among DA members? If it was Snape, he'd have the lot of us expelled and then thrown into Azkaban."

"Don't worry about Snape," said Harry.

"Harry," said Ron quietly, "I know he's on our side, but he _is_ still Snape."

Harry shrugged. He didn't feel like arguing the point. "Anyway," he said, "Five sickles says Dumbledore already knows what we're planning. I swear he knows about everything that happens at this school."

"Everything?" asked Ginny just a bit snidely.

Harry's eyes widened just a bit as he looked at her. 'Oh shit,' he thought.

"What?" asked Neville suspiciously, looking between Harry and Ginny.

Harry looked at his watch. "I've got to get to detention." He gathered his things, and headed out the door.

He didn't realize he had gone alone until he was heading down the stairs to the dungeons, and he heard Malfoy's voice behind him.

"Hey, Potter!"

Harry pulled out his wand and turned to face his enemy.

"Cool it," said Malfoy, with his hands in the air. "Where you headed?"

"Detention with Snape," snarled Harry.

"Why?" asked Malfoy. His forcibly friendly voice revealed that he knew Harry was mad at him, and was trying to get on his good side.

"Setting my dorm room on fire," he replied simply.

"Oh, Merlin," said Malfoy with a smile, "You weren't trying to brew any potions, were you?"

Harry turned away and continued down the stairs. He didn't think he could handle friendly banter with Malfoy.

"Potter, wait!" he called, jogging down the steps after him. "I was just joking. Come on." He grabbed Harry's arm gently, and tugged him around. "What's wrong?"

Harry was breathing heavily in his anger. He looked in the eyes of his betrayer, and fought down the hurt. He wouldn't give Malfoy the satisfaction of crying in front of him.

"I can't do this anymore, Malfoy. It's over."

Malfoy stared at him for a second, and then stepped down so that they were sharing a step. He carefully moved into Harry's personal space, and breathed, "Don't say that. It's really not as bad as all that, is it?" He leaned forward to kiss him, but Harry turned his head away. He stood solidly, unmoved by Malfoy's advances.

Malfoy straightened, his gentle, hurting eyes growing cold as he covered himself with his mask. "Whatever," he said, but his voice shook slightly. He cleared his throat and continued angrily, "It was just sex anyway. You're not even that good of a lay. I could have anyone at this school, Potter. I don't need you."

Harry held his eye. "Apparently not," he said.

Malfoy's eyes flickered, surprised. Harry took a chance, and continued down the steps with his back to Malfoy. He listened hard for any movement that might signal an attack, but he heard none.

He entered Snape's dungeon classroom silently.

Snape regarded Harry for a long moment before leading him into his office. He placed a Silencing Charm on the room, and an Alarm Charm to alert them should anyone enter the classroom.

Harry slumped into a seat, and gave the floor a surly glare. Snape handed him a stack of first year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw essays. Harry understood that the essays were just a cover if anyone entered, but he began to grade them anyway. He didn't feel like talking just yet.

Snape began grading essays as well, as though that were the whole reason behind Harry serving detention with him after destroying his dorm room while he slept under the influence of Snape's potion.

After a few minutes in silence, a tone sounded. Harry continued to grade essays without looking up. He was only somewhat surprised when he heard Malfoy's voice just behind him.

"Professor Snape," he said, walking toward his desk, "Vincent spilt and entire bottle of ink on my essay." He held up a six-foot roll of parchment that was almost completely covered in black ink. "I was wondering if you would grant me a 24 hour extension to re-write it. I've been working on it all week."

Snape reached forward and examined the still-wet parchment carefully.

"That will be fine, Mr. Malfoy. Please have it in to me by dinner on Tuesday."

Malfoy hesitated for a moment.

"Is there anything else?"

"No, sir," he said, and turned to leave. He glanced down at Harry and spat, "You dropped something, Potter." With that, he swept out the door.

Harry looked down to see a folded piece of parchment by his foot. When he heard Malfoy leave the classroom, closing the door behind him, he carefully opened the note, and read it with shaking hands.

_The haunting continues_

It's your words that get to me

You heard me like no one else

I thought you had listened

I thought you understood

Was I fooling myself to think you were different?

Don't make me miss you

Come to me tonight

Harry crumpled the parchment and shoved it in his robe pocket. He made to continue grading essays, but instead covered his face with his hand and began to cry bitterly.

Snape sighed. He stood up and locked the door as he made his way around his desk. He sat in the chair next to Harry and pulled the heartbroken youth into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered.

"You were right," Harry choked. "He betrayed me, first chance he got."

Snape nodded, holding Harry tighter. "I assume you found this out in your sleep last night?"

"Yeah. Lucius was reporting to him about it."

"About what?"

"That Ginny's my sister; that we're going to be twins."

Snape stiffened. "Do Arthur and Molly know this?"

Harry pulled away. "I don't know. I haven't told them."

"Harry, she's going to be a prime target now, especially if you go through with the bond. If he can get to you through her, he will."

"I know," said Harry sourly. "I'm not sure I could go through with the bond now. Ginny's life could be at stake. I can't risk losing her."

"I'm afraid that her life is already at stake. Voldemort will assume that you are going to complete the bond, whether you do or not. We'll have to be careful."

Harry slumped back into his seat once again. The sat in silence for several more minutes.

"Why the fireballs, Harry?"

Harry reached into his bag and pulled out the account of his dream. He handed it to Snape. "I was angry and afraid I would lose my focus and slip up, so I went to the wandless spellcasting practice room, and proceeded to destroy it."

"Hmm," said Snape, glancing over the parchment. He raised an eyebrow as he read over the destruction Harry was dealing to the room. "It was wise of you to remove yourself from the Dark Lord's head, rather than pushing yourself while upset. As far as spellcasting in your sleep, all I can say is that you should perhaps come up with another way to vent your anger while dreaming."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I graded all those papers, and that's the best advice you have?"

Snape glared at him. "Mr. Potter, grading a measly five papers does not warrant the effort of better advice."

Harry smirked.

XIXIX

Ron and Ginny were arguing over the chessboard when Harry returned from detention.

"Harry!" said Neville thankfully when he entered the common room. "Please help. They're about to come to blows!"

Harry made his way to the two yelling redheads and realized immediately that they were just blowing off steam. For one thing, even though they were yelling at each other, they were agreeing with everything the other said.

"Guys," said Harry calmly. "Could you calm down? You're scaring the first years." He indicated a group of younger students huddled in the opposite corner doing their homework, casting fearful glances in their direction. Ginny glared at him.

'Okay, still mad a me,' thought Harry.

"Where's Hermione!" shouted Ron.

'And that's what he's upset about.'

On cue, the portrait door opened, and Hermione climbed in.

"Harry!" she exclaimed. "We got big problems."

"What else is new?" he mumbled, as she made her way over to him, her arms loaded down with books.

"What are these?" asked Ginny.

"Sybil loaned me some books."

"SYBIL!" they exclaimed.

"Yes, Professor Trelawney!"

"We know who you mean, Hermione," said Ron. "But since when do you call her Sybil?"

"And since when is she letting you take books from her tower?" asked Ginny.

"Since today," she answered exasperated, ignoring the shocked looks on their faces. "Honestly. All this time, the woman's been sitting on the answers, and no one ever thought to look for them!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Harry.

"Battle, Harry! War. I kept researching prophecies about people's downfalls. But this is greater than that! This isn't about whether one man lives or dies, this is about a war that could potentially be the fall of wizard-kind. Seers have been foretelling this war for thousands of years, each seeing a varying degree of disaster."

"What!"

"Look," she said, opening one of the books and flipping through the pages. "In 1483 _BC_, Briant the Blind foretold of a battle that would determine the fate of the wizarding world. Of course, they used a wholly different set of calendars at the time, but when you transfer it to our modern calendar, the war begins in 1995."

"When Voldemort returned to power."

"Right! That was the earliest mention of this battle that I could find, but there are countless others. The dates of the battle vary, as do the results, but we are clearly on the cusp of something huge, and potentially disastrous! Elionne of Everywhere envisioned the Darkness taking over, standing over the Green Death of the Lightning Storm. She had no idea what that vision meant, but she related it to a battle that would lead to the deaths of many thousands, and the eventual decline of the wizarding world to nothing. Her timeline places the battle beginning one year from now."

"The Green Death of the Lightning Storm? So I am going to fall."

"No! Not necessarily, at least. For every vision of our failure, there is another of Voldemort's destruction. A man who called himself Creed in the first century AD wrote that the Dark Riddle would fall to oblivion, being destroyed body and soul. Many others don't even see past the battle. They merely say that the survival of our world depends on the outcome."

"But we still don't have any answers. All we have are more prophecies with conflicting information about whether I kill Voldemort or not!" snapped Harry angrily.

"Harry, don't you see!" asked Hermione. "We have the answers here. Thousands of years of prophesy of this battle. We can't be sure of when it happens, because as far as I can tell, the prophecies vary time-wise from three years ago to one year from now. But we can find the differences between the ones where we fail, and the ones where we succeed. We'll know which mistakes to avoid, which actions to take! This is hope, Harry! In our hands!"

Harry sat quietly, staring at the books while the others watched him, waiting for his reaction.

Finally, he said, "Well, then, what are we waiting for?" He reached forward and opened a book.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading! Please review! If you do, I'll do a little dance in your honor!

Simply Slytherin- I concur. I feel really sorry for both Harry and Malfoy. And I feel especially sorry for Malfoy because I know what is going on from his point of view. I know what Harry doesn't, and unfortunately therefore, what my readers don't. But for now, Malfoy will be Malfoy. And there's nothing we can do about it.

Wintermoon2- Oh, girl, you are good! Your review was... Like when you said... and... And I just about died when I read... Are you psychic or just...? Kick ass! And give us some more fight for the future, damn it!

LizBethy- Wow! Thank you! I am very glad you are enjoying it. I hope you keep reading, and continue to enjoy it.

Snake-boi- Don't hate me for making you wait! I couldn't help it! But I agree. I didn't like it when Draco told Lucius about Ginny. I went grr too. I even tried to talk him out of it, but he said just what you said, "come on, it's important." And I couldn't stop him. He's got a mind of his own, you know. Thanks for coming back!

Ravenfrog- That is a great two cents. A very well thought out two cents, I might add. I'll pass on your requests to the 'boys', but they don't listen to me much anymore. Half of what they do nowadays they do without even consulting me first. But I love them, so I'm not complaining. But thank you thank you for letting me in on your preferences. Enjoy.

CS WhiteWolf- Thank you. I do feel complimented. But Snape's discovery of Harry and Malfoy's relationship didn't have anything to do with the Death Eaters. He just happened to be around while Malfoy was projecting unbridled lust for Potter. So Snape picked up the memory and decided the best thing to do with it was to confront Harry, for the reasons he listed last chapter. And Harry and Snape are obviously becoming closer than they were, but that's not really saying a whole lot seeing as how they were moving away from unmitigated hatred of each other. I think it's kind of amazing they became friends so fast, but you know, extreme circumstances and all. We'll see what happens. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat- Thank you. I like the whole password thing too, and I agree, Harry is very special. If he and Ginny become friends, though, she won't be as powerful as him unless they link themselves together magically. But they will have a mind link to rival what's going on with Voldemort, and more recently, with Snape. Thanks for reading.

LindsayPotter03- Thank you! I put up 12 chapters before someone pointed out that Krum was from Bulgaria! And I looked at that and thought, I knew that! I'm going back and fixing it now. Thank you for telling me.

Tsyuno- What does XD mean? I'm not real hip to the online lingo, but I'm working on it... But yeah, Harry is hella pissed off, and Draco is an idjit. We'll just have to wait and see if they ever wind up shagging each other again. See you next review!

LindsayPotter03 (again)- Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and the comic relief. I've been trying really hard to keep the flow workable, so thank you for mentioning it! Thank you for reading/reviewing! I hope you continue to enjoy.

Celedriel-greenleaf- Thank you, and hear hear!

Shadow Bandit- Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and my depiction of Draco. To ease your wonderings, no Draco did not resist the veritaserum, although, to be fair, he didn't really try that hard. He just assumed it couldn't be done. Harry's got a rough road to travel, emotionally speaking. I think he's up for it, but it's not going to be easy. He appreciates your support, though. And so does Ginny. Draco said he was happy you were slamming your fingers in a drawer, but I hit him over the back of the head. Thank you for reading/reviewing!

Wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon- Thank you, and hear hear!

Silent-sounds- How about longer waits for shorter chapters? No? How 'bout this chapter, and I'll update as soon as I can? Yes? I'm glad you like Harry. He's my boy. Thanks for reading/reviewing.

Meggplant- Yay! Thank you! I'm glad you love it! And let me say that I love your suggestion, and you will probably see some of that coming up, just as soon as I convince the 'boys' to play along. Because that is a good idea. So thank you for reading/reviewing! I hope you continue to enjoy!


	14. War Games

A/N: Hey! I want to say a special thank you to everyone who reviewed. I received more reviews last chapter than any of my previous chapters, and it made me squeal with delight. As promised, I did a little dance for each of you. I also want to thank the other 96 of my readers who did not review. I love it that you are reading, but if you want me to do a little dance for you, you've got to hit that 'GO' button below.

X

XIX

XIXIX "War Games" XIXIX

Harry awoke from strange dreams of battle and prophecy a little before lunchtime. He, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Neville had stayed up most of the night reading through the books that Hermione had brought from the North Tower.

Harry had been exhausted when he went to bed just before dawn, and the thought of visiting Voldemort's head made his emotions flare erratically, so he decided to skip the potion for tonight. He wasn't sure if Snape would be angry or not, but decided it was worth the risk of Snape's wrath to be able to sleep well for the next few hours before the DA meeting.

During lunch, Harry and Ginny informed Dumbledore of their plans for the DA meeting. Dumbledore smiled knowingly, and assigned several professors, and Madam Pomfrey, to oversee the mock battle.

Harry sat with his back to the Slytherins while he ate. He could hear murmurs of excitement rumbling through the Great Hall. Just over half the students of Hogwarts were now in the DA—all of the Gryffindors, and more than half of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. None of the Slytherins were members. A self-imposed ban kept any of them from joining, although word was that more than a few were interested. They were just too afraid of each other to come forward.

Harry knew that their meeting today was going to have the audience of the rest of the school, and he was slightly worried about it. He knew that he could expect the Slytherins to taunt and jeer, and while he knew that that wouldn't affect the older DA members much, he worried about the younger ones. Harry noticed that the pre- and early teens tended to be very image conscious, and he worried that their fighting abilities would falter if they tried to impress people who were going to make fun of them regardless of how well they did.

After lunch, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron went outside to survey the Hogwarts grounds and make last-minute adjustments to their battle strategies.

The object of the battle was for each division to obtain the wand of the opposing leader—either Ginny or Harry. Ron had reasoned that in the real final battle, it would have to come down to Harry and Voldemort, so any battle they staged would have a similar premise.

For this first one, they had just wanted to get a feel for what the DA was capable of, and they had worked on strategy together. Today, it did not matter who won, what mattered was how the DA reacted to the situation of strategic battle. For future battles, Harry and Ginny would arrange the battle together, but design their strategies separately, later hashing out what had worked and what hadn't.

As the DA members made their way toward their leaders, Harry noticed the line of teachers that formed along the foot of the castle. He also noticed that many windows and balconies were full of students. Already, the Slytherins were laughing and throwing insults.

When everyone had gathered, Harry and Ginny quickly explained the basic premise and structure of the battle. Then Ginny led her division, Unicorn, around to the other side of the castle—their starting point. Harry led his division, Sphinx, to their starting point—a secluded area between the lake and the Forbidden Forest.

As they walked, Harry whispered to Ron, "I have an idea. I want you to lead your platoon in a 'special forces' mission."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "That wasn't part of the deal. Ginny won't be expecting it."

Harry grinned. "Exactly."

Reaching their starting point, Harry quickly divided the platoons into stations and missions. Of the younger platoons, he assigned Team Raven to lookout. From their station, they should be able to detect the movements of the enemy and communicate what they saw to the rest of Sphinx. From their cover, they could also take out Unicorn stragglers, but they were ordered not to engage more than two at a time, as they might blow their cover and lose their lookout advantage with the distraction of battle.

Harry assigned his youngest, but quickest platoon, Team Niffler, to stay on the sidelines of the fight. Their goal was rescue. Whenever they saw a member of Sphinx go down, they were to either perform the counter-course to restore them to battle, or to move them off the field so that one of the attending professors could care for them.

He assigned three more platoons to strategic locations throughout the grounds with the goal of creating holes in Unicorn's defense. He kept two platoons to himself. Each of these platoons was split into attack and defense squads. Their goals were to get Ginny and protect Harry.

"Time," yelled Harry to his division. "Get to your posts!" The platoons split, and moved stealthily across the grounds. When Harry could no longer see them, he took a deep breath. He had to trust them to complete their jobs now.

As they made their way toward the castle along the edge of the forest, Harry watched in satisfaction as the first clashes of battle began. His and Ginny's divisions were evenly matched power-wise, so the battles would come down to strategy.

Harry was pleased to see that the younger groups, who were now clashing, were doing very well for themselves. They were thinking on their feet, casting spells creatively and with confidence, and effectively dodging and blocking spells. Harry could faintly make out the jeers of the Slytherins, and cheers of the others students, but no one on the 'battlefield' seemed to pay them any mind. They were far too caught up in what they were doing.

As the 'casualties' mounted, Harry was further pleased to see Team Niffler, as well as Ginny's rescue squad, Little Phoenix, moving deftly through the fights, dodging spells, and reviving or removing from battle their fallen comrades.

Unicorn seemed to be moving as a slightly more unified front than Sphinx, and Sphinx was slowly retreating. Harry didn't want to be the first to show himself on the field, but his division needed backup. He motioned to his personal platoons that it was time for attack.

As they made their way forward, focusing fully on the conflict before them, the sounds of the Slytherins melted away to the background, so that Harry wasn't even sure they were still there.

Harry's presence upped the stakes of the battle. Everyone focused their attention, and fought with intensity unparalleled in previous DA meetings. The spells, hexes, jinxes, and curses were flying fast. Harry's adrenaline was flowing. He could feel his power flowing through him. He could feel the magic as it coursed through the air around him. He felt like he was always one step ahead of the rest of the battle, and he used that to his advantage. Sphinx was regaining ground.

In his peripheral vision, Harry saw backup from Unicorn move in from around both sides of the castle. His division would be surrounded. He yelled for what was left of his division to fall in together, back to back, to take on both fronts at once. Harry looked for Ginny. Seeing no sign of the tell tale long red hair, he fell in line with his forces, and continued the fight, glancing around for his target.

His platoons were putting up a good fight, but Harry's early appearance gave Unicorn the upper hand. After disabling four students in a row, he sent up red sparks, the signal that Ron's 'special forces' platoon should make its way in.

With a huge battle cry, The Hippogriffs swooped down on broomstick from the Quidditch stands where they had been concealed. Not anticipating such an attack, Unicorn faltered just long enough for Harry's group to again regain themselves. While Unicorn was busily disarming The Hippogriffs, Harry heard Ginny's voice call out "Alpha! Omega! Phoenix, now!"

He turned toward the sound of her voice, but she was nowhere to be seen. Harry had little time to ponder that, as, out of nowhere, ten more members of Unicorn appeared. Led by Luna, Team Phoenix removed the Illusion Charms that had kept them concealed, and allowed them to sneak up on the battle.

Still fighting, Harry smiled, realizing that he had been right not to feel guilty about The Hippogriffs' unplanned aerial assault. But something stirred in his mind as the battle shifted with the surprise newcomers. Suddenly, Harry was positive that he had not yet seen Ginny because she was masked by an illusion.

He turned to the general direction from which he had heard her voice, raised his wand and his free hand over his head and spread them apart, bellowing, "_FINITE INCANTATUM_!"

All sound deadened, and Harry felt the air around him tense and relax with the shift in magic. All the spells being shot seemed to halt in mid-air and fall harmlessly to the ground. And Ginny Weasley appeared five feet in front of Harry, where previously 'Colin Creevey' had stood. Her wand was raised, and she had apparently been in the midst of casting a fully body-bind on Harry. The magical ropes fell to the ground and disappeared.

Everyone froze for a moment in confusion, unsure of what had just happened.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

Harry had meant to cast the spell on Ginny only, but the power he put into the spell expanded its target radius drastically. Ginny, as well as the person on her right and two on her left, were blasted backwards, crashing into the people behind them. Harry caught four wands deftly in his outstretched hand, and then ran over to Ginny.

He pulled her into his arms. "Ginny! Are you okay?"

She looked up at him, a bit cross-eyed, and said, "We didn't agree on an aerial assault..."

Harry grinned. "Nor on hiding ourselves in illusion."

She smiled dopily. "Pretty smart, huh?"

Madam Pomfrey and the other present staff members ran onto the battlefield to attend to the students in the aftermath of the training session. Madam Pomfrey was livid, screaming about how Dumbledore should never have allowed such a dangerous game to take place.

The DA members who weren't down were busy jumping around and whooping. Their first battle had been a complete success. They scurried around, checking on the members of the division they had just been fighting, making sure there were no hard feelings for hexes cast. Even the injured were laughing as the staff members saw to their needs, and in some cases, prepared them for transport to the infirmary.

Madam Pomfrey only screamed more.

As she shooed Harry out of the way so she could tend to Ginny, Harry scanned the windows and balconies of the castle. He quickly caught sight of the familiar blonde hair. Malfoy was looking down at him with a completely blank expression. The Slytherins around him were still jeering, but Malfoy just stood there, watching.

Harry turned back to the DA, making his way around to talk to everyone personally about the battle, to make sure everyone was okay and knew how well they had done. Several celebrating Sphinx members tried to lift Harry up onto their shoulders to parade him around, but Harry would have none of it. They chased the blushing Gryffindor for a minute before he turned on them with his wand raised threateningly. Laughing, they tackled him. Other DA members jumped into the pile, wrestling jovially.

XIXIX

Voldemort was terrorizing muggles that night. Harry understood that they were government officials in an Eastern European country, but he was too sickened by what was happening to trust himself to stay and find out more. Even when he pulled out of Voldemort's head and tried to go to a 'safe place' in his dreams, his mind kept replaying the awfulness of the torture.

The worst part was that Voldemort was really enjoying himself, truly believing that he was doing the world a great service. Exterminating vermin. That's how part of Harry had felt while he was seeing through Voldemort's eyes. Their torture was a means to an end. The end was the salvation of the wizarding world.

Harry's mind was still reeling when the owl post came the next morning. He looked foggily up from his uneaten breakfast as two letters dropped in front of him. Harry reached forward and opened the one on top.  
_  
Dear Harry,_

I am flattered that you would think of me for a second exclusive interview. As it happens, I do have publishing contacts in magazines and newspapers across Eurasia. I am sure that many, if not all, of them would be interested in buying my interview of you.

I will be in the area for the next week. I can be there as soon as you reply with a date and time.

Also, please advise: Has Dumbledore's threat that I 'stay out of Hogwarts if I know what is good for me' been voided, or should I enter Hogwarts grounds in my 'alternate' fashion?

Sincerely,

Rita Skeeter, most lovely and intelligent journalist

Harry smiled slightly, knowing that Rita's 'alternate' fashion was in her unregistered animagus form. He was also smiling because while he had known that Dumbledore had banned Rita from Hogwarts during his fourth year, he hadn't realized that he had threatened her in order to keep her away from Harry.

He handed the letter over to Hermione and Ginny, and opened the other letter.

_You move like water,_

steady and consistent.

I drift like air,

breathing for you.

Your heart is earth

powerful rhythm.

It burns like fire

to see you so far away.  
  
"Harry, what's wrong?" asked Ginny, alarmed. Harry was shaking violently as he stared at the familiar handwriting.

How dare he send Harry poetry, trying to woo him back after what he had done!

Harry took a few deep breaths as he crumpled the letter and shoved it into his pocket. "Nothing," he growled. "I'm fine."

He took a gulp of his pumpkin juice, and then angrily stabbed at the untouched sausages on his plate, devouring them with a vengeance as Ginny, Ron, and Hermione looked on with raised eyebrows.

XIXIX

Harry felt sick to his stomach as he walked to Potions. He dragged his feet, but Ron and Hermione pulled him along.

"Harry, hurry up!" hissed Hermione. "If we're late Snape'll land us all in detention!"

"And take about a million points from Gryffindor," agreed Ron.

They had made it a habit of being early ever since Snape had taken 20 points from Gryffindor when Harry was _almost_ late earlier in the year. But Harry could feel something coming on, and he dreaded standing in that hallway with Malfoy, waiting for class to begin.

He trudged along as slowly as possible, but to no avail. Hermione had made sure they left with plenty of time, and they were early once again.

Harry leaned against the wall, staring into the darkness of the ceiling. He would _not_ look at Malfoy.

The Slytherins were talking about how silly the DA had looked outside, playing make-believe.

"Pretending to be grown-ups with a bunch of first year spells," laughed Malfoy derisively.

"Bunch of losers and weaklings," grunted Crabbe with a stupid guffaw.

"That's not what you were saying outside of Divination on Friday," said Ron simply.

"Shut up, Weasel!" he shouted.

"Hey," said Ron with a smile, "Don't take your love problems out on me. I can't help it if Luna doesn't—"

"Ron!" snapped Harry reproachfully. In one fluid motion, he stepped away from the wall and grabbed Ron by the arm, pulling him around. Ron looked surprised at Harry's anger.

Hermione gasped, and Harry glanced over to see Crabbe stalking towards him and Ron with clenched fists.

But just then, Harry heard the familiar swish of Snape's billowing robes. Crabbe stopped short as he saw Snape round the corner behind his pummeling targets. He stood glaring at Ron and Harry. Ron glared back; Harry averted his eyes.

His gaze fell on Draco Malfoy, who was scowling at Harry. Harry could see confusion and pain in his eyes, buried within the scowl. He looked away.

As the students began to file into the classroom, Ron hissed, "What the hell was that about?"

"Leave him alone about that," muttered Harry angrily. "He's having a really hard time with this whole Luna thing."

"So what! He's Crabbe, for Merlin's sake!"

Harry scowled. He thought back to his brief trip into the mind of Crabbe. His love for Luna was only surpassed by his fear of Voldemort, and worry about the hard position he was in due to his familial connections.

Could Harry really explain all of this to Ron? Would Ron understand or care?

"Just leave him alone, okay? Please?"

Ron narrowed his eyes and shook his head, muttering about having mental cases for best friends.

Shortly after Potions began, Harry felt a nudge inside his mind. He glanced up to Snape, and again wondered how the man was getting through his Occlumency shields. He wasn't thinking any words to Harry. Harry just felt this general idea of encouragement to know his enemies—to peak into the minds of the Slytherins. He shrugged.

In the lulls between steps in brewing, while Harry took notes, he carefully began to probe the minds of his Slytherin classmates—all except for Malfoy. He was not ready yet to find what thoughts and secrets he was guarding.

Harry was dizzy and quite nauseous when he left class.

Once again, everything was changing.

XIXIX

Harry was thankful that Voldemort didn't torture anyone that night. He met with a few Death Eaters about recent attacks. He was in Bosnia, and their Magical Ministry was just about ready to fall. Within a week, it would be his.

Harry was pleased. The people of this land were most definitely coming around. It was a shame that so many had to be... encouraged... to do so. After all, as the most powerful wizard alive, he was their rightful master. Under his power, the united wizarding world would rise in glory, finally achieving their destiny as gods on Earth.

And leading them all, the supreme god, would stand the Great and Terrible Lord Voldemort!

Harry awoke, grabbed his enchanted quill and some parchment, and bolted out the door. He had no idea what time it was, but this could not wait until morning. When he reached the gargoyle, he quickly mumbled the password and ran up the stairs.

He found the door to Dumbledore's office locked, so he beat on it with his fist. Presently, a very old and tired looking Dumbledore opened the door, dressed in purple polka-dot footy pajamas.

"Ah, Harry, do come in!" Harry briefly noticed that, as tired as he looked, Dumbledore's eyes still twinkled.

"He's in Bosnia. He'll have control of their Ministry within a week."

"Tell me what you know."

While asleep, Harry had managed to ascertain Voldemort's location. Unfortunately, his safe house was protected by the Fidelis Charm. Harry could tell anyone where it was, but because he was not the secret keeper, the knowledge meant nothing.

"Who is the secret keeper, Harry?"

"A man named Karaszewski—he's an apothecary from Slovenia. But I don't know where he is." A/N—pronounced car-uh-shev'-skee

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he leapt into action. He and Fawkes were busy contacting Ministry officials as well as members of the Order of the Phoenix. Harry sat down with his quill and parchment, writing down everything he could remember.

As Order members began arriving by portkey and floo, something tugged at Harry's memory. There was something he hadn't noticed while he was in Voldemort's head—but something he had experienced. He only caught it now because the quill forced him to write every little detail. Since Harry hadn't thought to look for this information, the detail had been so minute that he did not notice it until writing it down.

"Sir!" he called out suddenly. The room fell silent as Harry looked up at the now familiar faces of the Order members. "This feeling or notion that I just remembered..." Harry wasn't quite sure how to explain the sensation of Legilimens. Dumbledore nodded to show that he understood. "I think that Karaszewski is in another safe house, also protected by the Fidelis Charm. It's sort of a _chain_ of Fidelis Charms to protect Voldemort from capture. I don't know how long it is, but as we run through the chain, he'll have plenty of time to escape."

Dumbledore nodded in the silence that followed. Then he said, "Then we must focus our efforts on protecting the Ministry in Bosnia from collapsing."

"But I know where he is!" Harry demanded, rising from his seat. "I can go! We can get him tonight!"

"Harry," said Dumbledore warningly. "We must be wise in our action."

"But we can finish this war! We can prevent devastation!"

Dumbledore put his hand on Harry's shoulder and said seriously, "Your time has not yet come." He eyed Harry, and Harry wondered briefly if Dumbledore knew about the prophecies of the coming war. Before he could ask, Dumbledore continued, "Ministry officials will begin arriving shortly, so unless you want the papers to know about your active link with Voldemort, I would suggest you return to Gryffindor Tower. We will talk tomorrow night following your lessons."

Harry nodded, and took his leave.

XIXIX

Harry knew there had been no direct attack against Voldemort or the Death Eaters in Bosnia—not because anyone told him, but because the Daily Prophet was silent about it. Ministry officials had been involved. If there had been any victories, they would have made sure that they were printed. Similarly, had there been any defeats, the Prophet would have pounced. Harry surmised that the Ministry and the Order were currently focusing on surveillance work.

He didn't eat all day. In his mind, he kept replaying his two most recent dreams of Voldemort. He thought about torturing those muggles. He thought about his plans with the Death Eaters. He thought about Voldemort's greed for power, and his fervent desire to rule over wizarding world, to have the wizarding world rule over the muggle world.

He really did feel that his rightful place was as a god to wizardkind. And toward his subjects, both those loyal, and those that he tortured to insanity or death, he felt—an emotion akin to love.

'He's got a really fucked up perception of love,' thought Harry. His eyes focused and he realized he had been staring at Malfoy across the Great Hall. He must not have been paying attention. He hadn't meant to sit on that side of the table. He hated watching them. Not just Malfoy, but all of the Slytherins.

He couldn't believe what duplicitous lives they led. He hated them—had hated them for so long. But now, after even the most cursory of peaks into their minds, he found himself feeling sorry for them. They all had their reasons. They all had their public and private selves. They were all afraid, and angry, and confused. And worst of all, if you took away their concerns with the war, they were just like any other teenager—even just like Harry. Malfoy had been right. They really were "caught up in this war."

Ginny nudged him sharply. He was staring at Malfoy again.

Harry was in a rotten mood when time came for his wandless spellcasting lesson.

While they waited for officials to arrive as bodyguards for their trip to appeal for foreign aid, Nicolas and Perenelle both insisted on continuing to help Harry prepare himself.

As Harry set his bag on the floor by the door and cast a shield charm over it, he looked up to the smiling face of Nicolas Flamel, and something felt wrong. The magic in the room was off. It was almost as if—

"_Protego_!" he yelled, as three spells flew at him at once. His shield was erected just in time. The spells bounced off of him. Harry's blood was flowing as he sensed the room. Someone to his left had had to dodge one of the rebounding spells. He could feel it.

He dove forward, casting a disarming spell to his left, and dodging a stunning spell that came from his right. He knew that magic as it flew past him. It was Snape. Grinning inwardly, he sent a Batbogey Hex his way. It was juvenile, he knew. But he had dreamed of hitting Snape with that one in his earlier days at Hogwarts.

Nicolas was now standing against the wall, shielding himself. He clearly did not mean to be a party to this fight.

The battle raged on. Harry quickly ascertained that he was down five to one. He focused all of his attention until he was sensing the intricacies of even the slightest whisper of magic in the room. He was sending spells off in quick succession, but the world seemed to slow down for him. He had plenty of time to cast defensive and offensive spells.

Within minutes, his aggressors had revealed themselves. Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Tonks, and Mad-Eye Moody had let down their illusions once they realized that the illusions were not hiding them from Harry. They were a waste of magical resources.

But Harry was up against some strong magic. He realized quickly that he wasn't going to be able to beat them by strength alone. It would have to come down to strategy.

As a diversionary tactic, he pulled out his wand. The slight shift in stance told Harry that his aggressors had fallen for it, and believed that the appearance of his wand meant that he was growing tired.

Snape immediately stepped up with a Blasting Spell that Harry deflected. He thought, 'You should have known better,' while casting a Stunning Spell that sent Snape flying clear across the room.

He was surrounded by the remaining four. Harry cast a shield at his back while simultaneously hitting Tonks with a full body bind, and Mad-Eye Moody with a Locomotor Mortis. Pausing only an instant to ascertain that they had not deflected the spells and were in fact out of commission, he turned, lowered his shield and disarmed McGonagall and Lupin before they knew what hit them.

He turned, and yelled to Nicolas, "Check on Severus! I hit him with more force than I'd meant to—" As Nicolas nodded and moved to comply, Harry felt the slightest shift in the magic of the room.

Harry had three wands in his hand and needed to get rid of at least two. In an instant, he realized that if he sent them back to McGonagall and Lupin, they might once again take up a role of attack. He made a choice and threw their wands up to the ceiling, yelling, "_Glutinare_!" A thick glue formed around them, and they stuck to the ceiling, far out of reach of their owners.

But before the gelatinous plopping sound signaled that they had reached their destination, Harry had begun an intense duel with Albus Dumbledore.

Harry was aware of the awestruck faces of his professors, fellow Order members, and friends as they watched him and Dumbledore do battle. He was aware of the movement in the air, and how the room seemed to vibrate at different rates, with each person's pulse. He was aware of every dimple in every stone on the floor, every crack in the paint on the walls. He was aware of the flickering glow cast by every candle in every chandelier that lit the room. He was aware of the swish of Dumbledore's robe, and the splash of the five sweat drops that hit the floor, and the rustling sound of Dumbledore's beard as he moved.

Time lost all meaning as they threw spells across the room. Harry's magic seemed to expand, to fill the room until he _was_ the room. He felt the pressure of Lupin's step as he readjusted his position. He was drawn in as the sharp intake of breath when Snape awoke and saw Harry dueling the headmaster. He was the space around Dumbledore.

He slipped into Dumbledore's mind and always knew his next move. Even with this edge, Harry pushed himself to keep up. The man was fast. Harry was certain that Dumbledore had not breached Harry's own Occlumency shields, but he deflected every spell with little effort. A standard duel would not work. They would end in stalemate. Harry needed to try something different.

Harry took control of his broadened consciousness—he took control of the room. He breathed in and the air began to move, began to swirl around in twisted spirals, began to obey. He pulled the air toward him so that his robes billowed out behind him. He heard a sucking sound that grew to a roar, and watched as the air pulled itself away from Dumbledore.

Dumbledore stood there, perfectly preserved in the midst of a vacuum. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He was suspended in a void that could destroy him—

If Harry could keep it up.

The extraordinariness of the magic he was casting was using him up, and Harry knew he couldn't last. He dropped his control of the room. A deafening BANG sounded as the air collapsed back in on itself. Dumbledore stumbled, and Harry took that instant to cast a disarming spell and a stunning spell in rapid succession.

Harry wavered for a moment, holding Dumbledore's wand in front of him and gazing at his fallen headmaster.

And then the world went black.

XIXIX

Harry felt light and carefree. He heard a murmur of voices, but he couldn't make sense of any of their words. He listened to the tones, trying to figure out if something was wrong. Yes, he could definitely hear alarm. People were upset about something. One of them kept repeating, "Harry, Harry." Harry wondered what that word meant. He felt movement. Was he moving? Did whatever was wrong have something to do with him?

He tried to ask, and everything went quiet. And then, that word again. It was so familiar. It meant something. It was a name. It was his name.

He opened his eyes. A pale smudge surrounded by a black smudge occupied his field of vision.

"Sev?" he murmured.

Harry heard a sigh of relief. And then he heard more words, more voices. It was too confusing to understand it all.

He heard a crack, and then more voices, followed by another crack. There were more words. Sev was talking to him, but Harry couldn't understand. He just wanted to go to sleep, but the voices were so insistent. They kept pulling him back.

After a third crack sounded, Harry began to choke as he felt a cold liquid draining down his throat. He coughed and sputtered, and managed to swallow some of the foul tasting potion.

"Harry, can you hear me? Do you understand?"

Harry looked into the now clear eyes of his Potions professor, and nodded.

"Oh, thank Merlin," he heard. That was Lupin's voice. Harry looked up and saw Lupin standing behind Snape. He looked around to see everyone in the room swarmed around him and Snape and a house elf he didn't recognize. The house elf was carrying a tray of potions. Snape reached over with his free hand and grabbed one.

"Harry, do you think you can drink this?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," said Harry, realizing he was laid out on the floor, leaning into the chest of a kneeling Snape. Snape was holding him in one arm, and administering Harry the potion with his other.

It was less foul than the first, and Harry felt his strength returning to him. He made to sit up, but was stopped short as a jolt of pain rushed through him. Harry felt frozen in pain; every muscle in his body tensed.

"Help me!" snapped Snape.

Lupin was there, and helped Snape pour the next potion through Harry's clenched teeth. Harry relaxed immediately, reached up and clung to Snape. He felt defeated. He began to tremble, and Snape held him close.

"It's okay, Harry," he said softly. "You're okay. You just expended an unprecedented amount of energy in a very short time. You went into magical shock. Your body is trying to re-regulate you energy levels now. The Heal Magical Wounds should help with that."

"Sev, I'm so hungry," he whimpered into Snape's chest.

Without a moment's hesitation, the six other witches and wizards in the room conjured a feast each. Snape was slowly rocking the weakened Harry. He helped him to sit up so that he could eat, and then stood up.

He spoke in low tones to the house elf with the potions; she once again disappeared.

Harry set about devouring as much food as possible. Tonks sat on the floor next to him.

"Harry, that was incredible! Are you okay?"

Harry nodded, his mouth full of food. Dumbledore conjured a table and chairs and a tea set and he, McGonagall, and Moody all sat.

Lupin had grabbed Snape by the arm and led him across the room. Harry knew they were going to talk about him, so he strained his ears to get their conversation.

"What is going on between you and my son?" hissed Lupin angrily.

"Harry is not your son," replied Snape in calm, low tones.

"He might as well be, so you had better—"

"Mr. Potter is my student."

"Well you weren't acting like he was just your student a moment ago! And him calling you Sev! And curling up in your arms!"

"Mr. Potter has been studying Legilimency with me. He is a wizard of incredible skill and during our lessons, I believe he has forged some sort of mental bond between the two of us."

"That better be all, Severus Snape, or so help me you will live to regret it."

Lupin turned on his heel and stalked over to Harry. He crouched down and asked kindly, "Harry, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," said Harry through a mouthful of food. He swallowed, and then turned to Dumbledore. "Are you okay?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Fine, fine. I've been dealt worse, just, not for a long time... Has your appetite abated enough for you to talk?"

Harry looked down at the tray of food he was working on. He had already eaten enough for two people, but while he no longer felt ravenous, he was still quite hungry. All the same, he nodded.

Lupin helped him up (he was still a little unsteady on his feet), and Tonks carried his tray over to the table to the seat next to Dumbledore. Lupin sat on his other side and put his arm protectively across the back of Harry's chair, behind his shoulders, glaring at Snape, who sat across from them.

Harry noticed that everyone was looking tentatively back and forth among Harry, Lupin, and Snape. Harry glanced at Lupin, who now looked a bit flushed, as though it had only just occurred to him that everyone in the room had heard his accusation against Snape. Snape, for his part, was masked as always.

'So this mental bond... Is that why you can get past my Occlumency shields to communicate to me?' thought Harry, staring at the food he was eating intently.

'It's one of my theories that could explain that phenomenon, yes,' replied Snape.

'What are your other theories?'

'Well,' thought Snape with a friendly mental smirk, 'That I have underestimated my abilities and am actually an extraordinarily powerful wizard.'

Harry snorted into his food. Snape raised an eyebrow while Harry coughed, laughing. He reached for his goblet of pumpkin juice and looked at Snape over the rim. Lupin caught the look and realized they were speaking telepathically, and stood up in outrage.

"Now, see here!" he began, waving his finger at Snape.

"Remus, sit down," commanded Dumbledore.

Harry reached up and tugged on Lupin's arm. "Remus, it's okay."

"But—"

"Come on, I'm sure we have a lot to talk about," he turned to Dumbledore and said pointedly, "Right, professor?"

"Quite right, Harry," he said, his eyes twinkling. Lupin sat back down, returning his arm to the back of Harry's chair, and continuing to glare at Snape. "First of all, let me say that that was a very impressive bit of magic you performed tonight."

"Thank you," said Harry.

"Just don't do it again," barked Moody.

"What?"

"Mr. Potter," said McGonagall, "I can't even begin to speculate on the extent of your powers if, at 16, you are already able to expand your consciousness to fill a room this size..."

"And then control it!" said Tonks.

"Not to mention casting four and five spells simultaneously," added Nicolas.

"But if you don't pace yourself," continued McGonagall, "You can cause irreparable damage to yourself, and lose control over a vast majority of your powers before they are even fully developed."

"What are you talking about?" asked Harry, who had paused his eating.

"Harry," said Lupin kindly, "We're afraid that you are progressing too quickly. The extent to which you are wielding powers that you only just realized you have... it's... amazing. And more than a little scary."

Harry looked down at his hands, now resting in his lap. He felt a muted fear at the idea of losing his magical abilities from overextending himself. "So," he said quietly, "This magical shock or whatever that I just went into..."

"There will be no long-term side effects," said Snape calmly.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

"But you will feel a bit 'off' for the next few days," said Dumbledore. "And I would like you to take a hiatus from your training this week to allow your powers to rebalance themselves. I believe you have a Quidditch rematch coming up this weekend with Slytherin. Why don't you take this week off to prepare yourself for the game?"

"What about Voldemort?" asked Harry suddenly.

"He can wait," said Tonks.

Snape, who understood what Harry was getting at, said, "Don't take the potion. Natural sleep will help you more now than anything else."

Harry turned to Dumbledore. "But what about Bosnia? I can help—"

Dumbledore waved his hand. "You already have. We have Ministry and Order forces watching the area. Voldemort's threat in Bosnia has acted to further encourage many of the surrounding Ministries to send an official to act as bodyguards on the Flamels' trip to seek foreign aid. Once aid begins to arrive, we should be able to sufficiently clamp down on the Death Eaters in order to give you the time that you need to safely complete your training."

"When are you leaving?" Harry asked Nicolas.

"Thursday morning," Nicolas replied with a smile.

Harry furrowed his brow. "I still think you and Perenelle would be safer here," he said.

Nicolas grinned. "Oh, there is no doubt about it. But the question is 'would the world be safer if Perenelle and I stayed here?' We may not be fighters, but we can help in this war. And we will."

Harry nodded, and then couldn't take it anymore. He dug back into the food before him.

"When can I continue training?" he asked, his mouth full.

Snape sneered and began to rebuke him, but Harry shoved him out of his mind, turning to Dumbledore, who chuckled, eyes twinkling. "Why don't you meet with Severus Saturday evening for a brief Legilimency lesson? He can then ascertain if you are ready to continue your regular training."

"But we have a game that day. Everyone will notice if I'm not at the victory party!"

"I doubt the Slytherins will want you to attend their victory party, Mr. Potter," said Snape with a sneer.

Harry looked over to retort, but the fire in Snape's eyes as he and Lupin glared at each other made him change his mind.

"Fine, Saturday night," he said.

XIXIX

As his appetite died down, everyone began to take their leave, until only Harry and Lupin remained in the practice room.

Harry couldn't imagine what exactly was happening in his body that his magical energy was metabolizing so much food, and so quickly. He had been eating for over an hour, and was still nibbling as he and Lupin sat and talked.

"Listen, Harry, what I said to Snape—"

Harry waved him off. "You're just being protective. I understand."

"No. You don't really. I've known Severus a long time. I have my reasons for being worried."

"Like what?"

Lupin smiled, but shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe they're just old grudges. But will you do me a favor and watch out for him?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't have any reason to watch out for him. I'm more powerful at Legilimency than he is at Occlumency. He can't hide anything from me."

"But you're also good enough and trusting enough that you won't go looking for secrets. If you care about him, he can hide things from you. Don't forget that Snape is a Slytherin through and through." Harry sighed. "Look, just humor an old man, will you? Be careful?"

"Okay," said Harry quietly.

They sat in silence for a few moments, and then Lupin said, "Harry, I'm going to Albania tomorrow."

"Why?" asked Harry, a bit alarmed. He knew there was currently a very high rate of Death Eater activity there, but he hadn't heard of any Order missions that would necessitate a trip by Lupin.

"We think Mundungus Fletcher is there."

"So?" said Harry nastily.

"So, I'm going to go look for him, and try to bring him back into the fold."

"Why? You were almost killed the last time he slipped up. And then that time in Little Whinging, with the Dementors..."

"You're right. And both of those errors were grievous and could have been disastrous for the both of us, but that doesn't mean he deserves to die, or be tortured for the information he has. We don't know that he realizes how dangerous it is in the country he has fled to."

"Why does it have to be you?"

"Because I'm the one he almost got killed. He's shamed, Harry. He won't come back with anyone else. It has to be me."

"I'm not going to be able to talk you out of it, am I?" asked Harry, scowling slightly.

Lupin shook his head, and said calmly, "No. I'm afraid not."

Harry sighed in frustration, and they sat in silence once more. Eventually, Harry built up his courage to ask Lupin about what he had said earlier.

"Remus, do you really think of me as your son?"

Lupin smiled broadly. "Of course. You don't know, but, before your parents died, we were all so close. Sirius and I doted on you just as much as James and Lily. Lily used to joke, saying, 'How did my son get three fathers, but I only got one husband?'" Harry laughed. "That drove James nuts, let me tell you."

"I can imagine," said Harry. He paused for a moment, and then asked, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

Lupin looked distant for a moment, sad. "I lost my four best friends in a matter of days." He took a deep breath. "I wanted to get custody of you, but there was no way the Ministry was going to hand over The Boy Who Lived to a werewolf. So I just drifted for a few years. And by the time I saw you again, you were old enough to make your own decisions about who you wanted in your life. I just tried to be here for you, if you needed me."

Harry felt solemn. He and Lupin both stared at the table, hiding the tears in their eyes as they thought about the many things that had gone wrong over the last sixteen years.

Finally, Harry spoke quietly. "Remus, I need you in my life now. Will you please be careful in Albania?"

Remus reached over and pulled Harry into a very powerful hug, and for a very long moment, Harry felt at peace.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N- You have just finished reading "The Chapter that Wouldn't End." It was supposed to be a short chapter- half as long, actually, but it just wouldn't stop! I even finished it- claimed it done- this afternoon, and somehow wound up with two more pages tonight!

But I hope that everyone enjoyed it. And before anyone asks, we'll find out more about the prophecies and about the minds of the Slytherins in upcoming chapters.

Also, be warned- the next section is going to be very long, but hopefully, very good. I'll see if I can't break it into two chapters in order to alleviate the wait, but if the flow doesn't work right, I'll whimper, but I'll also keep it whole.

So, just to peak your curiosity, and perhaps make the wait unbearable, but perhaps help you understand what the wait is all about...

Malfoy is really pushing to get back on Harry's good side. Do we finally learn what the hell has been up with him lately?

And what is it about Snape that has Remus so concerned? Will Harry actually 'watch out for him' and try to find out?

And about this trip to Albania...

Oh, and by the way, everyone should go read The Shadow Bandit's "A Moment in Time." It's my most recent addiction. Love it love it love it! So you go enjoy it too!

wolfen-alysha-draco-drago- Yay!

Simply Slytherin- Your love for Draco can hold in this story. He's still Draco, just seen from Harry's eyes. Hold on, 'kay?

GotRyceBo- Wow, I didn't know I could illicit such strong emotions in people. Thank you for telling me. You're right about Harry and Draco's love being a twisted sort of love. It really is. Them's got baggage.

Wintermoon2- Here here! For all those good things. And as far as your psychic abilities go, I think you'll be loving the next couple of chapters. Ooh, things are really going to start heating up, in more ways than one!

Maximum Poofy-Confused Queen- Thank you, I'm so glad you like it! Here's some more for ya!

The Shadow Bandit- Thank you. Harry's not digging in Malfoy's mind yet because he feels so hurt and betrayed. He's afraid of what else he'll find- either that he's betrayed him even more than previously thought, or, something that will make him love him/feel sorry for him despite his betrayal. He's trying to keep his pain at a minimum if he can handle it. Thanks for weighing in with your thoughts!

Isis-mystic- I asked Harry what he thought, and he said that Malfoy could be consumed in dragon flames for all he cared. Malfoy refuses to admit that he and Harry were ever together in the first place, stating, "I'm a Malfoy."

Helena- Ah, your secret's out. But only time will tell how Draco's going to turn out. I'm sure not going to. :)

Nemati- Thank you, here you go!

Firestar- Thank you. I'm glad you like the characterization, and the character interactions. Makes me feel good.

Illucia (Chapter 7)- hmm, very good question. Pertinent, I'd dare say. I actually thought more people would have asked it, but you're the only one so far. Keep reading. The answers are coming.

Meggplant- (laughs) thank you. Of course, Malfoys are not sporadic people. Everything they do they do with reason. What remains to be seen is, will that reason be the end to he and Harry? Glad you enjoy...

Malfoysnogger- There is always more to Draco than meets the eye! But you'll have to wait to find out more. The answers are coming. Personally, I hate loose ends.

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat- I'm glad you like the poem. I haven't been a poet for some years now, and groaned when Draco told me that he was secretly into poetry. I wonder if anyone other than Harry knows this- after all, it doesn't seem like a very "Malfoy" thing to do, writing poetry... Thanks for letting me know what caught your eye in the chapter- good to know what people are thinking about.

Celedriel-greenleaf- thanks for reading and supporting the characters!

Ningchan- Ah! Don't fall! (laughs) thanks.

Illucia- Thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying everything. I passed on your questions to Harry and he said he didn't want to think about it yet. Unfortunately, you'll just have to wait. But thank you for patiently waiting, and reading despite the update status.

Tsuyuno- Ah, of course. :p Thank you.

Chibi- thank you!

Rysta cat- Thank you! Of course, I love hearing how much people like my story, but I do also love hearing constructive criticism, so if you come up with anything, please pass it on! Thank you for reading!

Perona- Wow! Thank you! I'm glad you like the characterizations, and are willing to wait for updates. Hopefully you won't be waiting TOO long for the next one, but, it's gonna be a doozy, you know? Hold on, though! I'll get more up as soon as I can.

Headphone Therapy- HAHAHAHAhahahaha! I was wondering when you would come back! You were the first person that reviewed this story- did you realize that? So thanks for coming back! I'm glad you've enjoyed the progression, the relationships, and the characterization. And the grand scale thing- it seemed plausible to me when I took into account what was going on in Eurasia between '95 and '97. Large scale violence and general badness. Anyway, glad you're back- glad you enjoy!

CS Whitewolf- Gah! Put those fireballs away! Here's another chapter for you! But yes, prophecies ad Draco/Harry confusion. It will all be sorted out- one way or another. But about the "Sybil" thing- who would have thought it from Hermione, right? Hopefully we'll find out more about that as well. Thanks for reading/reviewing.

Pat2- Wow! Thank you! I appreciate it, and I love you too. Sorry to have made you cry. Hopefully it was a good cry and not a bad cry? Thanks for reading/reviewing.

Sapphire-wolf1- It's not that Draco forgot, it just hasn't occurred to him that Harry could have found out. That's why he's so clueless as to WHY Harry broke it off with him- last he knew, everything was swell.

Yuki-Kurai- Harry can't talk to him about it. If Draco betrayed him and is working for the V-man, then Harry doesn't want to give him anymore information. The slip about the dreams during the veritaserum fiasco is protected by blood oath, so Draco can't give Voldemort that knowledge. But, if he confronted Draco about this betrayal, questions would come up as to how he knew, and that conversation would NOT be protected by blood oath. The most logical thing would be for Harry to jump into Malfoy's mind to find out more, but he's to hurt right now to go there. Maybe when things have settled a bit... eh?

Hayley- Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!


	15. Paranoid Thoughts

X

XIX

XIXIX "Paranoid Thoughts" XIXIX

"Just because you're paranoid don't mean they're not after you."

Kurt Cobain

Harry felt paranoid. As soon as he woke up Wednesday morning, he felt off. Something was most definitely not right.

He thought immediately about Lupin, leaving for his trip to Albania. Maybe he was hurt and Harry was picking up on it because of the link they had…

But then Harry forced himself to calm down. Last he knew he did not have any sort of magical abilities that would alert him to a problem with his father figure.

He headed for the showers.

'Anyway, I'd know if I had formed some sort of link with Remus. I realized it with Sev even though I didn't realize _what_ it was…' He paused in the midst of soaping himself and gasped. 'Maybe I just haven't had time to realize it with Remus. I better talk to Sev about this, and soon!'

And then Harry's heart began to pound.

'What if it's Sev? I don't know where he went last night. I didn't take the potion. Voldemort could have killed him for all I know. And I most definitely have a link with him!'

_Link_.

'Oh Merlin! What if it's Ginny!'

In a near blind panic, Harry hastily rinsed the soap from his body.

Barely taking the time to wrap a towel around his waist, the sopping wet Harry bolted down to the Common Room, yelling all the way, "Ginny! Ginny!"

The Gryffindors turned to watch him in alarm as he frantically scanned the room for his sister. "Where's Ginny!" He was nearing hysterics.

Lavender and Neville hurried over to him. "Harry! What's wrong?"

"Where's Ginny?" he demanded, pushing past them to the stairs to the girl's dormitories. "Ginny!" he yelled up the stairs.

"Harry?" he heard. It was Ginny's voice, muffled as though she were very far away. Not stopping to think that as a fifth year student, she would be five floors up the tower, Harry's mind began to formulate horrific and bizarre explanations for the distance of her voice, including, but not limited to, her having been sucked through a vortex into another plane of existence.

"GINNY!" he screamed, trying to head up the steps. The steps turned into a slide and Harry began to slip. Neville caught him, saving him from a potentially 'revealing' embarrassment as he did so.

"Harry, calm down. Lavender, go get Ginny." Lavender turned to run up the re-formed steps. Harry made to head after her, but Neville held him back. "Harry, there is no way the steps are going to let you up wearing nothing but a towel. Just calm down, Ginny will be down in a minute."

Harry was frantic, but knew Neville was right. He began to pace as a crowd formed around him, straining their necks and questioning in muted voices what was the trouble.

Momentarily, Harry heard a thumping of running footsteps and turned to see Ginny rushing into the Common Room.

"Harry! What is it? What's wrong!"

Harry ran the few steps to her, and pulled her into his arms. "Ginny, what happened? Are you okay?"

Ginny flushed in the embrace of the wet and nearly naked Gryffindor, but her concern ruled. She pulled back and looked Harry in the eye. "I'm fine, Harry, what's wrong?"

And Harry locked into her.

Immediately, Ginny understood the paranoia that Harry was feeling, and as a relatively calm outside observer, she could see its source.

Harry's eyes cast about. "It's not you? Then it must be S—"

Ginny slapped her hand over his mouth, smothering the word 'Sev'. She had felt it coming and knew there were too many people listening who would wonder when and how exactly Snape became 'Sev' to Harry.

She stared him hard in the eye, one hand holding his mouth, the other secured on his arm. "Harry," she said firmly. "I need you to trust me now. Do you trust me?"

Harry looked in her eyes and could tell that she understood something that he didn't and wanted more than anything to help him. This was Ginny. He nodded once.

"Then come with me back to your room." Ginny's penetrating eyes glanced around. "Neville, come with us."

She led Harry and Neville back up to their room, and closed the door behind them.

"Where are the rest of the guys?" she asked Neville, sitting Harry on his bed.

"They've already gone down," he said.

"This doesn't leave this room," she stated. Neville nodded seriously. "Harry," she said, turning back to the frazzled boy, "This feeling you have that something is wrong is a side effect of your magical shock from last night."

He made to protest, but Ginny leaned in, holding eye contact. "Nobody is hurt. Nobody is sending you distress calls through any mental or emotional links."

"How do you know?" he asked, but his voice was much calmer.

"Because I can see into you. I can see where this feeling is coming from. You don't feel right because your magic is all out of whack. You can't trust your instincts right now, so please trust mine."

Harry's breathing was heavy and his eyes began to tear up. "I trust you, Ginny," he whispered.

Ginny smiled.

"I'm going to step outside so you can get dressed and ready. If you need me I'll be just outside the door. Neville, will you help him? He's feeling rather awful at present."

"Of course," he said. Ginny squeezed Harry's hand and stepped into the hall.

Harry looked around, feeling much calmer. He still felt like something was wrong, but Ginny would never lie to him about anything so important, so he bit down the side effect emotions. He stood up and began to gather his clothes, thinking over what had just happened. He groaned loudly.

"What? What?" asked Neville, running to his side.

"I just caused a huge scene in the Common Room wearing nothing but a towel!" he whined. Harry felt himself blush bright red at the thought of facing the Gryffindors after that. It didn't help any when Neville stood back and laughed.

"Merlin, Harry!" he said with a smile. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean, is that all! Just one more bloody thing for everyone to laugh at me over!" Harry yelled defensively.

"Harry, mate," said Neville soothingly, "No one's going to make fun of you for something like this. They're going to be too busy making up reasons for you to have been upset enough to run into the Common Room wearing only a towel. And trust me, that will make much more interesting rumors than the whole towel business."

Harry looked at Neville skeptically. "I doubt that."

"No, really. I mean, you're Harry Potter. Now if Neville Longbottom had run into the Common Room wearing nothing but a towel and screaming for Ginny Weasley—the rumors would be all about what I did and not why, because the why couldn't possibly be nearly as interesting to talk about." Neville winked and Harry laughed.

"But you're not going to tell the real reason why, are you?"

"What? So that rumors of your magical shock will get to the V-man and he can devise a way to capture you in the next few days, are you nuts? My uncle went into magical shock a few years back. He was messed up for almost a week—couldn't cast any spells properly. Acted all weird too… No, if anyone asks, I'll just play dumb. And no one will even bother asking Ginny. Or Ron or Hermione, for that matter."

As Harry finished getting ready, he felt himself calm considerably. But he still had this nagging feeling that something was wrong somewhere. He kept glancing over his shoulder, wondering who was watching him, what he was forgetting.

Ginny was standing directly outside his door, and Harry felt more than a little guilty when he saw her. She was only half-dressed, and her clothes were wet from when he had hugged her. But she waved him off when he tried to apologize.

He waited in the Common Room with Neville while she finished getting ready, and then they headed down together.

When they walked into the Great Hall, Harry sighed with relief when he saw Snape sitting surly at the head table. But after a quick glance around, Harry froze in horror. Most of the Slytherins were eyeing him and Ginny, and Harry had a bad feeling about it. Ginny grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the Gryffindor table where Ron and Hermione were waiting.

"What happened?" asked Hermione, indicating that the rumors had already started.

"We'll tell you later," muttered Ginny. "Harry, eat something. I daresay you're going to be really hungry this week."

Harry nodded and began to load his plate. He glanced over his shoulder, and sure enough, many Slytherins were still watching him. They must be plotting something. Harry started trying to figure out what, but then realized he might be imagining the whole thing.

He leaned over to Ginny and whispered, "Are the Slytherins really watching us, or is that just me?"

Ginny cracked a small smile. "Actually, they've been watching the both of us since Sunday. You've just been too tied up trying not to stare back at one in particular that you failed to notice that he's not alone."

"Shit," hissed Harry, panic rising once again, "What are they playing at, do you think?"

"Nothing," said Ginny calmly. "They must have just realized that the DA is too big and too powerful for them to beat. The next reasonable step is for them to want to join. I think they've been sizing the two of us up. I predict they'll send one of their prefects to come and talk to us pretty soon. Do you think you'll be up for it?"

"Yeah," said Harry. 'Merlin, I hope it's not Malfoy,' he thought.

"Me too," said Ginny. "I'm likely to kill him if I ever get the chance."

Harry looked at her sharply. It wasn't like her to say something like that.

That was when he noticed that her mouth was full. She couldn't have just said that out loud.

'Ginny, can you hear me?' he thought when she glanced over to him.

She choked on her food.

XIXIX

That afternoon, sitting in the library, Harry whispered, "So why can't you hear my thoughts now?"

"Because I don't know Legilimency, and I'm only your sister and not your twin. The fact that we were linked even after we had both calmed down some shows that our brother-sister bond is pretty strong."

"But it will only work in times of high stress?"

"I think so," she said. "At least, so long as we're not twins. Twins are linked even across vast distances. If we become twins, we'll be able to communicate even when we're not together, and we'll always know where each other are."

"Ginny, I'm not so sure we should go through with it. Voldemort knows and—"

Harry cut off when he glanced up and saw Malfoy enter the room and sidle over to a seat nearby. Malfoy was looking straight at him, and Harry knew what was coming. They were the only three people on that side of the library.

Harry looked up at Ginny apologetically, and then suddenly wished they were full-fledged twins, because she misread his look and began to pack her bag.

He reached up and caught her arm. "Don't go."

She looked down at him with a slight scowl. "Oh no. You dug your grave. You lie in it." Then she sighed and said quickly, "Figuratively speaking, of course. Don't hesitate to curse the ever-living shit out of him if he tries something."

With that, Ginny turned to leave. She cast a sneer toward Malfoy, but he missed it. He was watching Harry intently.

Harry felt ruffled. He did not want to have a civil conversation with Malfoy. He turned to the books that were splayed out in front of him, unread. He began to wonder if maybe Malfoy wasn't there to talk about the DA. Maybe he was plotting something. Maybe there were Slytherins, or even Death Eaters hidden all around him.

'Magical shock side effects, Harry. Calm down.'

He heard a shifting sound, and sensed Malfoy draw near to him, and then slide into the seat across from him. Harry continued to stare at his books, pretending not to notice.

"Potter," said Malfoy quietly.

Harry did not move. He felt a bit silly acting like he could not see or hear the Slytherin speaking to him from only a few feet away, but he didn't know what else to do.

"Potter," he repeated, just as quietly, "Can we talk?"

"Talk," said Harry without looking up.

"A group of Slytherins are interested in joining the DA. As Prefect, they requested that I speak to you about the matter."

"So you can bully me into letting them in?"

"Actually, I prefer subtle manipulation." Harry could hear the joke in Malfoy's voice. He was trying to get back to a place where he could speak to Harry without pretense. Harry responded with silence. Malfoy shifted in his seat, cleared his throat, and continued in a more businesslike tone. "The younger Slytherins are afraid to approach you about this."

"Are they afraid of me, or of what the older Slytherins might do to them?"

Malfoy didn't answer. Harry wanted to look up, but he was afraid. Lines of Malfoy's poetry crept through his head. '_Don't make me miss you_.' '_It burns like fire to see you so far away._' What if Malfoy really did miss him? They were alone now. What if they spoke comfortably and Harry had to admit that he missed him?

'Betrayal, Harry. He betrayed you and Ginny. He put Ginny in danger.'

'What if he had to?'

Harry didn't want to know that. He had read many of the Slytherins. He knew their dance, knew the games they had to play to survive. He felt sorry for them. Hell, it was pretty hard to remind himself to continue to pretend he didn't like them. But he didn't want to like Malfoy now. He didn't want to understand what had happened. Maybe it had only been a game, part of the dance, but it struck pretty close to home.

And Harry was afraid.

"Potter," said Malfoy reasonably, "The younger Slytherins need the extra training. None of them have ever had a real Defense teacher, and you know that when the shit hits the fan, they're going to be in a lot of danger. Among the upper classes, there are varying degrees of interest. Some, although they would never admit it to me or anyone else, truly want to be members of the DA, and I might add, have every intention of joining you when the time comes."

Harry chanced a glance, startled by this admission. Harry knew it of course, but Malfoy had never spoken of what his classmates really wanted—only what they had to do.

Malfoy was staring at the table. He did not seem to notice that Harry was now watching him.

"Others," he continued, but then stopped. He had a very pained look on his face. Eventually he looked back up, and caught Harry's eye. Emboldened by the eye contact, he began again. "Potter, I have to be honest with you here. Several of us, myself included, are under orders to gage your abilities in strategy and power."

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Harry.

'Betrayal. Remember the betrayal.'

"Because I…" Malfoy sighed, and leaned forward across the table. "Potter, I don't know why you ended things. You may hate me, and I guess I probably deserve it, but I feel obliged to tell you that you're being watched. Closely. I volunteered to be the one to talk to you so I could tell you that."

He paused. "Now I know that, as the guy you shagged and dropped, that my opinion amounts to skrewt shit, but I think you ought to consider upholding the ban against Slytherin."

'Betrayal.'

Harry regarded Malfoy with cold eyes and an impassive expression. "Malfoy, there is no ban against Slytherin. As far as _Ginny_ and I are concerned…"

'Remember, the girl you sold to Voldemort?'

"Anyone is welcome so long as they do not threaten or endanger any other member. Even you," he added acidly. Malfoy winced. He looked miserable, and Harry immediately felt sorry for that jab.

Malfoy must have noticed a change in his expression. He leaned forward even further across the table toward Harry. "Are you never going to talk to me again?"

"What's the point?" asked Harry, trying to think of betrayal, but lost suddenly in a different sort of pain.

"The point is… Look, we don't have to do anything. And we don't have to talk about anything important if you don't want, just… Come tell me a story about the stars." Harry melted a little, remembering the last night they spent together when he made up constellations and mythology to go with it. "Meet me tonight."

Harry shook his head. "I have Quidditch practice."

"Skive off."

Harry grinned despite himself. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Malfoy smiled back. "Well, I figure if you don't practice this week, maybe I'll have a chance at beating you. No, really, after practice."

"I have a lot of research to do."

"Just for awhile."

Harry paused. "Maybe."

Malfoy grinned widely. "I'll be waiting."

XIXIX

Dumbledore lifted the ban and the threat against Rita Skeeter, so Harry met with her for the interview that evening over dinner in an empty conference room. When he walked in, she was already waiting with a chubby young man with a big nose and an even bigger camera. Harry didn't recognize him as her previous cameraman, and wondered immediately if he was a spy.

He shook his head, reminding himself that the entire interview was going to be published for all of Eurasia to read. There was no reason for Voldemort to send a spy.

Rita was dressed in a fine green suit covered by a black lace cloak. Her hair fell to her shoulders in relaxed curls, and Harry noticed that her smile looked considerably more genuine than it had during their first encounter two and a half years ago.

"Harry! How are you?" she gushed, jumping up and running over to shake his hand. She pulled him into a half-hug that Harry was too bewildered to return. When she pulled back, he smiled broadly at her.

"Hi, Rita, how's the fan-mail?"

She laughed appreciatively. "You wouldn't believe it. You receive several thousand pieces a week, from all over the world. The younger witches find you absolutely fetching, and the rest of the wizarding world really seem to be looking to you as their hope for salvation."

Harry nodded seriously. "Good." He caught her eye and blushed slightly. "I mean, that's kind of what I want this article to be about. Things are going really poorly in certain countries throughout Eurasia. We've been afraid that people will lose hope and begin to bow down to Voldemort," Rita flinched, "And accept a life of slavery and fear. We wanted something to be published that told people that this isn't the end. Now is the time to band together and fight, and together, we will rid the world of this great evil once and for all."

Rita dove into her purse and pulled out her Quick Quotes Quill. "Wait, wait! Save it for the interview!" And then she whispered to herself, "Merlin, this is good!" She led Harry over to the table in the center of the room, and set her quill to work. "Now, Harry, what words of wisdom do you have for our readers when fear is knocking on their door? These are dangerous times, like you said. Why should people put themselves at risk to fight a band of Death Eaters that are on the prowl?"

Harry sighed. "Unfortunately, that's an easy question to answer. They should put themselves at risk because they already _are_ at risk. When the Death Eaters are out, nobody is safe. It doesn't matter if they are after someone else tonight, because tomorrow night, it could be you.

"The good news, though, is that those Death Eaters, they're just like you and me." He laughed at the look Rita gave him. "Well, maybe not _just_ like you and me, but they're shop owners and bankers and lawyers and chefs. They have money concerns and children who disobey them from time to time. All that separates us from them are the choices that they make. They chose to follow Voldemort, but that choice doesn't give them any extra strength, any extra ability, or any more power than any of us. They're not the elite—they're just ordinary wizards and witches who made very unfortunate decisions."

Rita nodded. "So when our readers are face to face with the Death Eaters in their menacing black garb…" she trailed off.

"They should keep in mind that that menacing black garb is simply a tool of fear. They put their robes on and they sure look scary, but without their costumes, they are ordinary people with ordinary abilities."

There was a loud crack and Dobby appeared with their dinner.

"Harry Potter, sir! Dobby has prepared Harry Potter, sir's favorite dinner!"

Harry looked at the plates with a large smile. Dobby had outdone himself with roast beef, boiled potatoes, fresh bread, and green beans. Harry wondered suddenly how Dobby came to know Harry's favorite meal.

"Thanks, Dobby! It smells delicious!"

Dobby beamed. "Anything for Harry Potter, sir! Would Harry Potter, sir be liking anything else?"

"No thank you, Dobby. I think we'll be fine."

"Yes sir, Harry Potter, sir!" With another crack, Dobby disappeared.

Rita gave Harry a strange look. "Is he… free?"

Harry smiled. "Yes, and happy. He was miserable with his previous owners, and I helped him to gain his freedom. Dumbledore hired him on a couple of years back."

"Did your ex-girlfriend have anything to do with it? If I remember, she was quite into House Elf liberation."

Harry gave Rita a look of friendly admonishment. "Rita, Hermione was never my girlfriend. Remember, you made that up to defame her when she made you angry."

Rita's smile faltered, and she looked down at her quill, scribbling away. "No!" she snapped. "This isn't part of the interview!" The quill came to a halt, and then began tracing backwards over the words it had just written, erasing them as it did so.

Harry laughed. He thought he saw Rita blushing.

She cleared her throat as they loaded their plates. "Anyway, back to the interview," she glanced at her quill, which took up writing once again. "You don't feel that You-Know-Who or his Death Eaters are anything to worry about?"

"Oh, they absolutely are!" stated Harry. "The Death Eaters may be just ordinary wizards, but the choices they have made make them very dangerous. They thirst for power, and have no qualms with hurting or killing anyone who gets in their way. We should absolutely fear what they can do—but we should keep this fear in perspective. Voldemort inspires distrust. He breeds a fear that leads to hysterics. Even his name spoken aloud causes people to panic—and he uses that. The more people fear him, the more powerful he is, because the more people are afraid to band together and fight him and his Death Eaters.

"Make no mistake—now is the time for caution. But now is the time for all of us to work together and stop this evil from spreading further. We cannot let this fear take over our governments, our countries, our lives. Together, we _will_ vanquish Voldemort, and we will put a stop his destruction."

"Harry, rumors throughout the world state that you are the only one who can defeat You-Know-Who. Do you truly believe that you are able to do this?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Five times in my life, I have stood against Voldemort. And five times, he has failed to kill me. I was no more prepared to face him as a young wizard in my first year at Hogwarts than I was when I was a baby. But I have survived, again and again.

"But the costs of war are rising continually. Many people have been hurt or killed, who never should have been. I am still young, but I will never again be unprepared.

"By targeting me repeatedly, and in many ways—by killing my parents, by attacking myself and my loved ones, by putting my name in the sky next to that disgusting mark—Voldemort has sealed his fate. He will not survive our next encounter. I will make sure of that."

XIXIX

The interview lasted two hours over dinner and dessert. Before Harry headed off to Quidditch practice, Rita had him pose for several shots, and then asked him if he would grant her a second, shorter interview on Saturday after he beat Slytherin in Quidditch. "A short piece for Teen Witch Weekly, with a nice shot of you catching the snitch away from your schoolyard nemesis," she prompted eagerly. "The younger readers love a victorious young Harry Potter. Someone for the kiddies to idolize," she winked.

"Rita, what if I don't win?"

"Oh, well then they'll sympathize with the human Harry Potter who was so close to something so important to him, only to have it slip through his fingers. Trust me, I'll be inundated with mail from thousands of young witches who all want to console you personally."

Harry blushed, but in the end, he agreed.

He arrived late to Quidditch practice, and Ron had already started the team on some drills he and Harry had talked about earlier in the day. Harry suited up and was soon out on the field with his team. They practiced hard, and as they headed in for the night, Harry was exhausted.

But not too exhausted to stop him from heading back out after he showered.

Malfoy was waiting by the lake. Harry took the long way over, taking the cloak off as he approached. He suddenly felt very awkward, and didn't quite know what to say.

Malfoy seemed to be having the same problem. They stood there in silence for a few moments, looking at each other's feet, and occasionally glancing up.

Harry shifted his stance uncomfortably. He caught Malfoy's eye for a second, and didn't know if he wanted to punch him or kiss him. Here before him was the person who had betrayed him, looking so nervous and beautiful.

'Maybe it wasn't betrayal. Maybe there was a reason.'

Here was his chance. Harry could look into him, learn his secrets. But he was afraid that if he did, he would fall in love with, or maybe hate, whatever he found there.

He could always just ask him.

But Harry couldn't trust him, and couldn't risk spilling secrets to him that wouldn't be protected by their oath.

"This is so fucked up," sighed Harry.

Malfoy smirked. "You read my mind."

Harry shot him a look. "I shouldn't have come." He turned to leave, but Malfoy caught him under his arm and pulled him back.

"Wait," he said. "Look, I know I lead a duplicitous life. And maybe it wasn't fair for me to expect someone like you to be okay with it." Harry felt himself burning. Malfoy was in his space, and Harry could feel his body reacting to him. "But I swear on everything, I never mean what I say or do during school. I like who I can be around you, Potter. I like that I can drop the act and just be myself." He was entirely too close. "Don't hate me for what I have to do. Even if we're just friends, don't stop coming around. Let me be myself."

Malfoy shifted so that all Harry had to do was lean forward a bit and they would be caught up in the passion all over again. His words said friendship, but his eyes hinted seduction, and Harry knew that Malfoy was trying to get close to him again. Whatever he said, his goal was intimacy, and who knew for what ultimate reason?

'_He's playing power games with your emotions…_' Luna's voice drifted through Harry's head, and he remembered Malfoy making out with Pansy while eyeing Harry. He remembered Malfoy yelling at him and then pinning him in a violent kiss against the tree. He remembered the tenderness at night, and the cruelty by day. He remembered Lucius kneeling before Voldemort, spilling Harry's secrets, and Malfoy sending him poetry to make it all okay.

'He betrayed you, Harry. Don't kiss him.'

Harry turned his head and stood solidly. "I don't know who you are," he said quietly. "Maybe it's just easier for me if you keep the act."

Malfoy staggered slightly, like Harry had just smacked him. He took a step back and regained himself. He pulled on a cool mask. "Do you hate me, then?"

Harry looked at him and answered truthfully, "I don't know. I don't think so. But I know I can't do this anymore."

"Well that's your choice. But this isn't over, Potter. I'm not giving up just like that."

He turned and walked off, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Okay, here's a short update, sooner than expected. You can thank my nagging roommate for that. Originally, this chapter and the next were going to be one, but I think it is safe to cut them apart here. More action is coming in Chapter 16.

Thank you for reading. Please review. Come on, humor me.

Vasquaz: teehee

Silent-sounds: tasty? Oh, please, behave!

Ann: Well, thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you like the story.

Slice, the battle whore: Ooh, you are going to love the big showdown when, cough, I mean, IF it comes to that. Not to give anything away or anything, but um, it's gonna be way-cool. And don't worry, I am definitely going to finish this one.

Baby Traci: Sad, I know. But these boys are in the middle of something bigger than them, and it makes things hard.

The Shadow Bandit: Thank you, and yipes are you right! Harry will always give all that he has. Kind of makes you nervous for him, doesn't it? Thanks for the tip about the reviews. I won't complain anymore.

Celedriel-greenleaf: Thank you. I always thought that magic isn't interesting to read about unless there is a cost. And Harry is starting to find out what that cost is.

Yukari: Hey! Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you are enjoying the story, the characters, and the Snape-Remus interaction. More on that to come…

Illucia: Thank you, and LOVE the analogy to the wizard chess. Let's just hope that holds true in the final battle. I think he will continue to refine these new powers that he's finding, and I think we will find out more about Draco soon enough.

LizBethy: Ooh, too many stories gets confusing, I agree. Of course, I read too many as well, and them I'm also writing one, and ooh! Melt down! We'll be seeing some more Draco and Sev in the next chapter, so keep reading. Glad you enjoy!

Headphone Therapy: Goal oriented, yes, he definitely is. And um, whoa, belly of this mothercrapper, huh?- um, maybe you should consider a stiff drink before reading the upcoming chapters… I'll try to throw in light moments as I can. And Luna will be coming up soon.

Moonlight4: Thanks!

Malfoysnogger: Ooh! Thank you! And we'll find out about Snape soon enough. He does have a few secrets, after all. And glad you like Draco too.

Yuki Kurai: Here ya go, babe!

Dirty dancer: Pervy Sev? What? I think I like this Sev too much to let him be an all-out perv, but we are going to find out more about him and the Slytherins pretty soon. I'm having trouble dividing up these chapters so they're not too long, but they still get a good chunk of story in them. Hold on! Answers are coming!

Wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon: Thanks!

Maximum Poofy-Confused Queen: Thanks! Glad you like it enough to re-read it. Great compliment. My ego just might explode. And don't cry- Remus only just left. No time to have been hurt yet.

Isis-mystic: Harry doesn't know yet, and Snape won't tell me.

CS WhiteWolf: Um, ahem, maybe. The boys aren't letting on yet, but when they do tell me, you'll be the first to know. And are you saying that I should write a huge battle scene into this story? That Harry should get a chance to stand behind his declarations that he's going to accept the prophecy and vanquish Voldemort?

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: Aw, I'm sorry you don't like Ginny, because she is way-important to Harry. And I tell you, I think Harry and Draco would live happily ever after if Draco would just stop being such a prat. But the Dumbledore battle- I liked that one too. Thanks for reviewing!

OxBeachFlirt01- Yay! Glad you liked it! (By the way, my friend Wintermoon2 predicted Harry's wandless ability in Blast From the Past- she even wrote in a squeal when OotP was released, yelling "I was right!" It's a way-cool story, you should go read it) Anyway, yes, the poetry/asshole duality made sense to me. I also kind of think that if Voldemort dropped dead today and the war ended and Draco's parents chilled out and he didn't have all that pressure on him from everywhere, that he would still kind of act like that, out of habit if nothing else. Thanks for reading!

Lol: Thanks!

Midnightocean: Thanks, here it is!

Tsyuno: Was that enough for you? Hope so! XD

Emeline: Eep! Hope all the words were good and printable and what not! Really though, thanks! I appreciate it!

Madkornfan: Five months! OMG, if you lived with my roommate, she would have skinned you alive four months ago! Glad you're enjoying it. I'm trying to keep the updates fairly quick.

Pat2: Wow! Thanks for the references! I loved the Ginny/Harry scene too. I wasn't going to have her find out for several more chapters, but then, she saw what she saw, and the shit hit the fan. Draco's got issues, but hopefully he'll resolve those. Fingers crossed, but no promises. Snape's got issues too, but Harry doesn't know much about those, because thus far he respects Snape too much to go snooping. But whatever their relationship, I love it. Glad you're enjoying so much. Makes me happy!


	16. Possession

A/N: Alright guys, here's the chapter many of you have been waiting for—the payoff, so to speak. Now we find out what's up with the boys.

X

XIX

XIXIX "Possession" XIXIX

Hagrid gave Harry permission to miss class Thursday morning so that he could see Nicolas and Perenelle off.

He stood with the Flamels and Dumbledore at the Hogwarts entrance, waiting for their foreign escorts to arrive.

"Harry," said Nicolas quietly. "We have something we'd like to give you."

Harry's cheeks reddened slightly. He hadn't thought to get them anything, although now that they were leaving, gift giving seemed obvious. He wished more than anything that he had a present for them.

"I, uh," he stammered.

Perenelle broke in, grinning. "Harry, we have over six hundred years of accumulated stuff. We really don't need anything more."

Nicolas stepped forward, smiling. "But we would like very much for you to have this." He held out a small package wrapped in maroon and gold silk.

"Thank you," Harry whispered as he fumbled to open it. His eyes grew wide as he saw what was inside.

He held up a small gold locket with the Flamel family crest on it. At the top, a diamond and emerald set was fused into the locket, with two thin tendrils of gold worked down the sides of the locket.

Harry looked up, at a loss for words.

"It was my great-grandfather's locket," said Nicolas kindly, indicating the Flamel family crest.

"And my great-great-grandmother's wedding ring," added Perenelle, pointing out the jewel set and the gold tendrils.

"Perenelle, Nicolas, I can't take this," said Harry reverently.

"Harry," said Nicolas, "We'll be over seven hundred years old when we pass on to the next world. We never had children, and have held onto our heirlooms all this time."

"We've loved many people in many ways," continued Perenelle, "And we love you as our own child."

"And you simply must accept it," finished Nicolas.

Harry's eyes were burning with tears. He hugged Nicolas and Perenelle both very deeply, whispering his thanks, and returning their love.

"Open it," said Perenelle, wiping tears from her eyes.

Harry opened the locket. Inside was a very tiny painting of Nicolas and Perenelle on their wedding day. The detail was exquisite, and the tiny portraits waved up at Harry. "They can speak," said Nicolas, "But you have to put a Sonorus Charm on it to be able to hear them."

Harry laughed.

The other side of the locket held a recent photograph of the three of them talking in Dumbledore's office. Harry hadn't been aware of the picture being taken, but realized it must have been the day they met with the Order members, because he could see Lupin and Snape talking in the background.

The images of Harry, Nicolas, and Perenelle spoke and laughed easily. Seeing them now in third person, it was obvious to Harry that they were like family. Harry remembered how Perenelle and Lupin had showered him with affection that day. Almost without noticing, Harry continued to add parental figures into his life.

"Who took this picture?" asked Harry.

"Tonks," said Perenelle. "We wanted a picture of you…"

"But you're known for being rather camera-shy," continued Nicolas. "And anyway, we wanted a natural shot."

Harry nodded, rolling his eyes. "And if you had told me first, it wouldn't have worked."

"Right," laughed Nicolas.

"Harry, I want you to wear this always," said Perenelle as she helped Harry fasten it around his neck. It was surprisingly light—almost like it wasn't there at all. "Not just to remember us by while we're away, but we've put every sort of protective charm we could think of on it. So don't take it off. Not for Quidditch, not for showers, not for sex—"

"Perenelle!" gasped Harry, blushing as he glanced to Dumbledore, who just smiled with twinkling eyes.

"I mean it, Harry. Promise us you won't take it off and we'll sleep better at night."

"I promise," said Harry. "I just wish I had something to give you to make sure you were safe." Nicolas and Perenelle smiled at him fondly.

"Ah," said Dumbledore. "I do believe your escorts are arriving."

Harry looked up to see a large mansion appear out of nowhere. It was both amazingly huge, and seemed to take up no space at all. After a moment, a group of witches and wizards poured out of the front door and headed their way. Among them were Tonks and Fleur Delacour. Harry didn't recognize any of the others.

Harry stayed near the Flamels as everyone spoke about their imminent journey. The Flamels' escorts spoke lightly through their translation charms, and seemed appreciative of the fact that the Flamels did not need to use the translation charms themselves. But they seemed to be far more interested in the young man standing with them, and the scar on his forehead, than in the Flamels.

Harry walked with them to the front door of the mansion and hugged them closely. They said their goodbyes, walked inside, and closed the door behind them. The mansion slid from existence, and Harry stood alone with Dumbledore.

"Sybil tells me Ms. Granger has discovered something of interest in her books," Dumbledore said with a smile.

Harry nodded. "About a million different prophecies of a war that determines the fate of the wizarding world."

"In what way?"

"Well, so far as we can tell, if Voldemort wins, the devastation that follows will pretty much wipe magic people off the face of the earth—and kill an amazing number of muggles as well. If we win, further damage is stopped, but the damage done by the war may still be… world changing."

Dumbledore nodded seriously. "I take it that it is unclear who will be the victor."

"Some saw it one way, some another. We're analyzing the prophecies best we can, looking for clues as to what actions to take and to avoid in order to swing it our way."

"And?"

Harry sighed. "We're still looking."

"Perhaps we should contact the Department of Mysteries and have them look into it."

"Would they?" asked Harry.

"I certainly think it is important enough to warrant a bit of their time, don't you?" Dumbledore chuckled.

XIXIX

That night, 17 Slytherins showed up at the DA practice, including Malfoy, flanked as always by Crabbe and Goyle, and wrapped in the slender arms of Pansy Parkinson.

After a week of using Legilimency on the Slytherins, Harry had had a pretty good idea of who would show up tonight, and he and Ginny had already discussed how to divvy up their numbers. Crabbe would be in Ginny's division, Unicorn, in Luna's platoon, Phoenix (Neither of them stated this out loud, but Harry and Ginny both had a bit of matchmaking in mind when they agreed upon this arrangement). Goyle was to be in Harry's division, Sphinx, in Seamus' platoon, Onyx Fire.

Harry and Ginny had long discussed the distribution of Malfoy and Pansy, and had decided that for safety's sake, Malfoy would be in Harry's division even though Harry would be uncomfortable. Ginny was still just a little too hex-happy where Malfoy was concerned for him to safely be a member of her platoon. Pansy was the trade-off. Ginny would take her so that Harry wouldn't be distracted by any remaining jealousy (which he swore was waning, but Ginny wasn't so sure).

But just for a little fun, they were both placed in platoons led by muggle-borns. Malfoy was in the Night Owls, Hermione's platoon. Pansy was in the Dragons, Justin Finch-Fletchly's platoon.

They had divided the rest of the Slytherins as they did every other member of the DA. Close friends were separated and each new member was sorted into a platoon of comparable age and ability.

More than a few people looked leery of the new members, so Harry began the night by saying, "The first battle of Dumbledore's Army was a complete success!" The DA erupted in cheers. Harry smiled broadly as he waited for the noise to die back down.

"The DA has grown by leaps and bounds this year. In our numbers, we have found strength. But in our hearts, we find solidarity. Dumbledore's Army will stay united in these times of division, in these times of distrust. We are here to train so that we can defend ourselves and those around us during conflict. We are not here to create or perpetuate petty rivalries. When we are together, House lines do not divide us. Merlin forbid, if we ever find ourselves in battle, we will not have the luxury of choosing who we stand beside as we fight. We must therefore be prepared to fight alongside whichever allies present themselves. So, too, must the DA unite.

"Tonight, we are working on ways to prevent your enemy from spellcasting." The DA began to divide into their platoons, and Harry and Ginny began to explain the specifics of silencing or otherwise impeding spoken word from an enemy trying to curse you.

Harry prepared himself for what was coming. He knew that he had to make the speech, but he also knew it would only serve as a warning. He and Ginny both foresaw that the DA would need to see his words backed up by action, and that, chances were, someone was going to get hurt tonight.

But he wasn't prepared for whom.

As he made his way around the room, he paused near the center to work with Lavender's group. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dueling pair of third years in Unicorn turn and point their wands at an otherwise occupied Pansy Parkinson. Harry turned and yelled out "Hey!" just a moment too late, and Pansy was on the floor coughing up blood.

Harry rushed to her side.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" he screamed at the third years. They were a Ravenclaw girl and a Gryffindor boy. Their eyes widened with fear, and without thinking, Harry looked into them and saw their excuses. They were both friends of Christopher Billings, and believed for all the world that Pansy was the one who had attacked him. They were seeking belated revenge.

"It—it was an accident…" stammered Ryan, the Gryffindor. Daena, the Ravenclaw, looked at her feet.

"Bullshit," said Harry angrily. "I saw you." Pansy was choking, trying to get on her feet. Harry put his arm around her to help her up. "You two are suspended from the DA for one week. If this happens again, you're out. Now get out." He turned to Ginny, who had made her way over to them, and said, "Can you take over? I'm going to help Pansy to the infirmary. I think they caught her with a Consumption Hex." He cast a glare to the door where the two offenders were leaving.

Ginny nodded. "Go. I'll take care of things here."

Harry pulled one of Pansy's arms over his shoulder, and walked her out of the room. In the hallway, she tried to push him away, saying, "I can walk on my own." But then she fell into a fit of coughing, blood splattering down the front of her robes.

"Don't talk, it'll just make it feel worse." He took up more of her weight, getting some blood on him as well. "Madam Pomfrey will fix you up, but you'll be weak for a day. Dean was hit with a Consumption Hex in our third year and… oh…" Harry reddened, remembering that it had been Pansy who had cast it.

She looked over with a wan smile, and they continued on in silence. It was only after they reached the infirmary that it occurred to Harry that Malfoy had not come over to help his girlfriend in the Room of Requirement.

He sat with Pansy, cleaning the blood off her face until Madam Pomfrey brought her a potion that killed the disease within her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, as she stood to leave.

"Yeah," she said weakly. "I really need a shower." She smiled, appraising Harry. "You do too, by the looks of it." Harry looked down at himself, splattered with Pansy's blood, and smiled too.

"Here, look, if you do decide to come back to the DA after tonight, take this." Harry held out a fake gold coin that Hermione had charmed. "We're going to have another battle on Sunday, but the time and place are going to be a surprise. It'll grow warm when battle time comes, and the place will be printed around the edge, right here."

Pansy looked at him suspiciously. "Why did you have one in your pocket?"

Harry grinned sheepishly. "We kind of anticipated that I would be taking someone to the infirmary tonight. Honestly, though, I didn't expect it to be a Slytherin. I kind of thought it would be because of a Slytherin…" Harry knew he was blushing as he spoke this admission.

Pansy eyed him evenly, as though summing him up. Harry peaked into her mind, and found that was exactly what she was doing. She was also thinking, 'You don't have to worry about that with the DA, Potter,' but she didn't say it out loud, because the rest of the thought was, 'We'll get you some other time.'

"Yeah, I'll see you later," she said and headed off down the hall.

Harry sighed. After having used Legilimency on Pansy several times, he did rather like her, but he knew she would never stand with him. She was not one to hold opinions on her own, and the opinions of her family and friends told her she must side with Voldemort. Sweet girl underneath it all, but her strength went no deeper than the masks she wore.

Shame, really.

XIXIX

The Gryffindor Quidditch team had practiced hard all week, and as the team suited up, Harry was satisfied that they were ready.

"Those bastards never should have called a rematch!" snarled Ron.

"They'll be begging for mercy!" yelled Ginny.

"Crying like babies when we're done with 'em!" growled Christopher.

The team roared, and Harry was sure that the waiting crowd grew quiet for a second—they must have heard.

"Right," he said, moving to stand before them. "Slytherin ought to know by now that they can't beat us!"

"YEAH!"

"We've got them on skill, we've got them on—"

_FLASH!_

"Collin!" yelled Harry angrily, the flashbulb interrupting his pep talk. But when he looked to the door, he didn't see Collin, but a chubby young man with a rather large nose, and an even larger camera. Next to him was none other than Rita Skeeter.

"Great speech, Harry," she began, walking into the locker room.

"Rita, how did you get in here?"

"Very carefully," she said with a smile.

"What if my team hadn't been dressed yet?"

"Then we wouldn't have taken their picture. But as they are… Stephen, get some shots of the pre-game excitement!"

Harry stood by helplessly, but then saw the raw determination in his teammates' faces as they posed for the shots, and he just shrugged and went with it. The presence of a reporter and a photographer seemed to make his team feel like big-leaguers. They were in great spirits when they heard the announcer's voice calling them to the field. They roared again in great Gryffindor manner, and were off.

Harry had had a nagging worry about playing against Malfoy with their recent tryst behind them, but as soon as he hit the air, all concerns melted away, and there was only the game.

Harry saw immediately why they had called a rematch. The Slytherins had apparently cooked up some new moves that they wanted to try out against the one team that had managed to beat them this year. But the Gryffindors were ready with some new moves of their own. The hours Ron had spent pouring over his chessboard had done wonders for their already good strategy, and the Slytherins just weren't able to keep up.

Forty-five minutes into the game, Gryffindor was up 270 to 110, and Slytherin was really starting to play dirty. Ron had had more bludgers hit at him while the quaffle was on the other side of the field than Harry could keep track of. Ginny had nearly been knocked off her broom several times, but after one deftly executed maneuver, the Slytherin chaser who had been pushing against her lost his balance and went into a spiral fall that ended with a sickening thud on the ground below. Not seriously hurt, the chaser was back in the game, looking a little shaky on his broom, and steering clear of Ginny.

And still, Harry and Malfoy circled the pitch in search of the snitch. Harry was slightly disarmed by Malfoy's silence. Normally, they would be slinging insults and curses at each other all throughout the game, but this time, they flew past each other as though they were only vaguely aware of the other's existence.

Harry heard the crowd booing, split with cheers from the Slytherin stands, and knew they had scored again. If Malfoy caught the snitch now, they would be tied.

"Penalty shot to Slytherin… and it's in!"

Shit, Harry's comfort zone was lost. If Malfoy caught the snitch, Slytherin would win. Where was the snitch?

In answer to his mental pleading, he saw a small glint far below, inches it seemed above the ground. Harry turned into a nearly vertical dive, and saw from the corner of his eye that Malfoy was headed downward as well. He was coming from the side and had a much less steep dive than Harry. Harry wondered briefly if he would be able to catch the snitch and pull up in time to avoid crashing.

There was no time to slow down; Malfoy was gaining momentum and they would reach the snitch at the same time. The wind was roaring in Harry's ears as he stretched out his hand toward the snitch that was skimming the top of the very short-trimmed grass.

Malfoy was almost there. "Potter!" he yelled, his voice stretching out through time.

In slow motion, Harry felt his fingers just barely wrap around the snitch. His left hand pulled up against his broom, but he knew it was too late and he was crashing. He felt a violent jolt as Malfoy crashed into him, grabbing him, changing the trajectory of his crash so that the two boys went rolling across the field, violently tumbling against each other, against the earth.

They lay tangled in a pile, breathing heavily against each other in the shock of the crash. Their teams landed, as did Madam Hooch, and carefully peeled the boys apart.

Harry's fingers were still clutching the snitch. The stadium shook in the applause that went up as the winner was announced.

Without thinking, Harry said weakly, "Malfoy, thanks."

"Sod off, Potter," he groaned. But Harry knew better. Malfoy had purposefully crashed into him to keep Harry from crashing straight downward. Harry had also heard the fear in his voice when Malfoy had called out his name. Everyone else would have only heard a yell of anger or frustration. But Malfoy had known Harry was going to crash, and he softened the blow.

When Harry had pulled himself together enough to stand, the Gryffindors mounted their brooms for a victory lap. Professor Dumbledore awarded them the Quidditch Cup and every Gryffindor student poured onto the field to carry around their winning team on their shoulders.

Harry's head was spinning. He sent the rest of his team off to the showers, and walked to the center of the field to meet with Rita Skeeter for the short interview he had promised. Stephen the photographer snapped pictures of him while Rita asked light questions about the game, the team, and the Quidditch Cup.

By the time the interview was over, the rest of his team had headed back to the castle, and Harry had no doubt that the party was already getting started, and would last late into the night. He groaned inwardly as he headed to the showers, remembering that he had agreed to meet with Snape tonight.

Harry winced slightly as he pulled off his Quidditch robes. He was very sore from the game and from his crash with Malfoy.

Malfoy.

He had saved him from a pretty bad crash. Harry couldn't quite figure out what was up with that boy. One minute he hates him, the next he's trying to seduce him. Then he betrays him, then he saves him. It was driving him crazy.

Harry moaned as the hot water fell over him, easing his sore muscles. He lowered his head, letting the water fall over his shoulders and neck, gently massaging his frustration away.

"Thinking about me?"

Harry's head shot up when he heard the drawling voice. Standing before him was none other than Draco Malfoy, grinning seductively and holding Harry's towel.

"If I'm not mistaken," he continued, "You gave me some pretty great head right there." Harry looked around and realized he had walked into the third shower stall, the same one he and Malfoy had been in that night.

Harry wanted to tell Malfoy that he always used this shower stall, that it had nothing to do with him. But now that he had thought about that night, he could feel himself getting hard and didn't think his objections would sound very convincing with visible evidence to the contrary.

He turned into the water, grabbed the soap, and asked with as cold a voice as he could muster, "What do you want, Malfoy?" But as he washed himself nonchalantly, he knew that his voice had been huskier than he had intended.

"Oh, you know what I'm here for," Malfoy said, his voice low.

Harry shook his head, continuing to shower. "Enlighten me." He was unconcerned, unaware, unaffected…

He froze when he felt Malfoy's hands on his sides. Harry whipped around angrily and found himself caught up in a pair of very passionate eyes. Harry faltered, forgetting what he was about to yell.

"I think you know," whispered Malfoy as he leaned forward. Harry vaguely registered that Malfoy was still clothed and dry under the running water before he was taken into a familiar and much missed kiss.

Harry responded, wanting this so badly, willing himself to not think, to just enjoy the moment, to indulge in the fantasy, to lose himself…

_Ginny._

Harry grabbed Malfoy's shoulders and gently, but firmly, pushed him away. Malfoy looked at him longingly, and Harry knew his own eyes were full of pain as he said once again, "It's over, Malfoy."

Malfoy shook his head slightly. "No it's not, Potter. I told you that already. You don't have the option of ending things with me. I'm a Malfoy, and I'll fight for you if I have to."

"Malfoy, there's nothing to fight for. You're a Malfoy. I'm Harry Potter. It's too dangerous for us to be together," said Harry as he thought, 'Not to mention you betrayed me, you rat bastard.'

Harry's gaze hardened noticeably as he turned his pain into anger. Malfoy stepped back out of the water, still dry. He must have used an Impervious Charm. He fixed Harry with a penetrating stare. "It's hardly dangerous for you, Potter," he scoffed. "And I've taken measures to stem my own danger, so you don't need to worry about that."

Harry glared at him. 'Hardly dangerous' for him? After giving his secrets to Voldemort, how dare he say that!

"It's dangerous to me because I don't trust you," he intoned threateningly.

Malfoy took another step back, and covered his reaction to Harry's harsh tone by reaching down and picking up his towel once again. When he looked back, his smirk was firmly in place.

"About that," he said, "I told you, I know that I lead a duplicitous life. And I know that must be hard for you to understand."

'You condescending bastard.'

"But I cannot openly be your boyfriend and not get killed. I have to marry Pansy. I have to fill my, what did you call it, 'obligatory arsehole quota' by being cruel to you and your friends. But I don't think that should get in the way…"

"Do you really think that is what this is about!" snapped Harry.

"I know that is what this is about," replied Malfoy calmly. "You ended things right after I told you about my engagement to Pansy. What I'm telling you is it will be a marriage in name only. Just like our relationship now. We're both free to date others, just so long as we don't do it openly, and we still produce an heir… what!"

Harry was groaning in frustration. He ran his hands through his hair and turned to lean his head against the wall. He reached up and shut off the water. He wanted to scream at him, '_I know that you told about Ginny! You betrayed me and my sister to Voldemort! THAT'S what this is about!_'

But he couldn't. Because then Malfoy would tell Voldemort that they knew, and then Voldemort would know that Harry could still connect to him in his dreams. And then he might find out about Snape, and so many other secrets could all come unraveled.

'Merlin, what was I thinking to have started all of this?'

Harry turned back to Malfoy, and realized exactly what he had been thinking. Malfoy was eyeing him, and Harry was suddenly very aware that he was naked. He squared his stance, walked over to Malfoy and snatched his towel out of his hands. He wrapped it around his waist and headed to his locker to dress.

Malfoy followed him. "I mean it, Potter. Do you think I'd say all of this to you if I didn't? And anyway, I have some information for you that just might make you change your mind about me."

"I doubt that," said Harry with his back to Malfoy. He was pulling on his clothes as quickly as possible.

"I don't," came the drawled response. "Someone you know is in danger." Harry's heart started to pound. "And seeing as how the last time someone went werewolf hunting you nearly killed me in the hallway, I'd say this someone is rather importa—"

Harry turned around and grabbed Malfoy by the collar, slamming him into the locker behind him. "If you know something about Lupin you better spill it now," he growled.

"Easy, Potter, of course I'm going to tell you. Why'd you think I brought it up?"

Harry pushed into him, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Quit stalling."

"Okay, okay. In Albania. A group of Death Eaters was searching out a former member of the Order of the Phoenix who went into exile there. He's a known drunkard apparently, and they figured they could use him for information, but they were having trouble finding him until a certain werewolf sniffed him out for them. They're planning to get both of them tonight."

"Where are they?" snarled Harry.

"In the capital city—that's all I know."

"How many?"

"Five or six at least—they try to keep everyone outnumbered at least two to one, three or more if possible."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"When tonight? What time!"

"I don't know!" shouted Malfoy.

Harry slammed him into the locker again and looked into his eyes, quickly and carelessly pulling out any memory he could find associated with this attack against Lupin. Goyle's father was in on the attack and had told his son about it, who then passed the information on to Malfoy. Malfoy had told him everything he knew, which wasn't much, but would certainly be useful in orchestrating defense.

"Potter!" exclaimed Malfoy in alarm. "You're a Legilimens!"

"You're an Occlumens!" demanded Harry. Malfoy didn't answer, but Harry was immediately overtaken by memories of Snape teaching Malfoy how to shield his mind from invasion. Malfoy had not yet developed the skill, but understood enough to be able to tell when someone was rummaging carelessly through his mind.

Harry thought briefly of Lupin telling him to watch out for Snape. Was this a betrayal? Harry was panicked and angry. He had to get to Dumbledore. He didn't have time for this.

One more time he slammed Malfoy into the locker behind him, and he growled out, "If I ever find out you tell anyone, you won't have to worry about whether or not we're through, because I'll fucking kill you. Go ahead and betray me again."

A fearful comprehension dawned on Malfoy, and Harry saw flashes of the memory of him telling his father about Ginny. He had decided that that information would appease the Dark Lord's hunger for knowledge about Harry without actually giving him useful information that he could use against Harry in battle. It hadn't occurred to him until just that moment that he was putting someone in danger whom Harry thought of as an extension of himself.

"I'm sorry," he said shakily. "I didn't know."

"You fucking well knew! You just didn't care!" Harry pushed himself away and grabbed his things. Malfoy stood there trembling as Harry stormed past him to the door. He tugged at the handle and found that Malfoy had placed a lock charm that was specific to him—only he could unlock the door without blowing it apart.

"Open the fucking door!" Harry shouted.

Malfoy jumped to comply.

"Potter," he began, but Harry was gone.

XIXIX

Harry sat in Dumbledore's office, fidgeting. Dumbledore was busy contacting the Order's allies in Albania so that they could locate Lupin and Mundungus Fletcher and aid in resisting any Death Eater activity against them.

Harry felt helpless. Having passed along the information, there was nothing to do but wait.

Dumbledore had asked him how he came across this knowledge, but Harry had refused to say. He only revealed that he trusted the validity of the information, scant though it was. Dumbledore had accepted this, understanding that Harry was guarding someone else's secret, and would not betray their confidence.

He then began contacting Albanian Ministry officials by floo and Order members in the Albania area through Fawkes. And Harry waited.

"Harry, there's nothing more you can do right now. Why don't you go down to dinner, and then return to Gryffindor Tower?"

"And do what? Celebrate our Quidditch victory?" snapped Harry.

"And get some food and rest to maintain your strength."

Harry looked out the window for a long moment. "Will you let me know if anything happens?"

"You will be the first to know, I promise."

Harry skipped dinner, returning instead to Gryffindor Tower. He paced in his room until the growing noise of celebration signaled to him that dinner was over, and the party had returned to the common room. He gathered up his invisibility cloak and headed downstairs into the mayhem.

He spotted Ginny quickly and made his way to her through the throng of happy bodies. He felt really out of place amidst such joviality.

"Harry! Finally!" Ginny squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close. "I was afraid that Skeeter woman had eaten you alive!" She pulled back and caught the look on his face. Her smile faltered. "What's wrong?"

"Lupin's in danger."

"Oh, Merlin—was he attacked again?"

"Not yet. But he's going to be, tonight. Dumbledore's sent some people after him, and he'll let us know when something happens."

"He'll be okay," said Ginny definitively.

"I hope so," said Harry.

Ginny pulled him into another hug. "He will be."

Harry nodded. "Look, I gotta get out of here. Will you make excuses for me, if anyone asks?"

"Of course," said Ginny. "Where are you going?"

"To get some answers."

XIXIX

Having checked the Potions laboratory and finding it empty, Harry slipped quietly down the halls until he was standing before the stone serpent.

Harry stood silently before it for some time, wondering if he really wanted the answers he might find inside.

Eventually, the stone serpent said, "Invisible one, do you wish to speak to Professor Snape or just stand in the hall all night?"

"I would like to speak to the Professor," said Harry, only just then making up his mind.

"Then I will call him for you."

Harry waited with a budding dread growing in his stomach. Presently, the door swung open, and Snape indicated that he should enter. He then stepped out into the hallway and grumbled loudly about pranks. When he reentered the room, he cast a silencing spell and turned to the newly appearing Harry.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Well, I feel like my life is being turned on its side right now," said Harry as he folded his cloak.

"You know that I did not expect for you to come to our scheduled meeting after today's… events."

Harry shook his head and asked, "Why didn't you tell me that you were teaching Malfoy Occlumency?"

Snape sighed. "The information was not pertinent. I could think of no reason for you to know, so I did not tell you."

"Simple as that?"

Snape regarded Harry evenly and in silence. Harry glared at the lack of reaction.

"Does Voldemort know that you're teaching him?" he shot.

"The Dark Lord has insisted that I teach several students so that they can begin working for him without fear of discovery."

"And that is why you've been pushing me to read them—so that I learn about them before they close themselves off."

"Partly, yes."

"But you know that I'm a powerful enough Legilimens to get past their shields. What was the rush?"

"Harry, have a seat," said Snape, making his way to the sitting area. They sat in large comfortable chairs directly across from each other. "Once these students are trained reasonably well in Occlumency, the Dark Lord will have them working for him—even inside Hogwarts. Not all of these students desire to serve the Dark Lord, as I am sure you no doubt know. But they will not defy him unless they have some other place to put their hope for their future. The obvious alternative is you. However, Slytherins and Gryffindors are known for their inability to get along (Slytherins and one Harry Potter in particular). I knew that this relationship would not change unless one of the parties came to understand the other."

"So I'm a pawn in your game to save the Slytherins from serving Voldemort?" asked Harry, a bit angrily.

"I would have thought you'd want to help them."

"Had I been given the choice, I would have agreed with you. However, I find it rather offensive that I was not offered that option." Harry cast a glare at the Potions Master. "You have no idea what it's like to know them so well! I can't hate them anymore. In fact, I really like most of them. I know what they dream about, and I understand their fears. I relate to them—I want to help them, and they still hate me! They have no idea how close I am to them. Do you have any idea how hard that is!"

Snape held his eye. "I do," he said calmly. "I know my students well, and a vast majority of them despise me."

Harry paused. He had not expected that answer. But not ready yet to end his rant, he pushed on. "Well it was dangerous that you failed to inform me that the people I was practicing on are studying Occlumency. I could have been found out at any point."

"Harry, your skill at Legilimency far exceeds their Occlumency abilities. There is no reason for them to ever find out… unless…" he trailed off, catching the look on Harry's face.

"One of them is telling me that Remus is going to be attacked, and I carelessly drudge up everything I can find in my haste to save him," finished Harry.

Snape squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"That's right. Malfoy now knows I'm a Legilimens." But then Harry was suddenly aware that that wasn't all that was bothering Snape at the moment. "What—?"

Snape raised his Occlumency shields in response to his unfinished question, but Harry didn't need to slip past them to know what Snape was trying to keep from him.

"Malfoy knew about the attack, and you didn't," he said quietly. He thought back to the brief worry he felt pass between Snape and Dumbledore when they had met with the Order members from all throughout Eurasia. They must have learned information that Snape, as a member of Voldemort's inner circle, should have known—but didn't.

Harry sat forward in alarm. "What else has he been keeping from you? How long has this been going on!"

Snape looked away. "It is not any of your concern, Mr. Potter," he said calmly.

"Bloody hell it's not, Sev! I wasn't taking the potion this week! Anything could have happened to you!"

"It is far more important that you recover from your magical shock—"

"Oh, bugger my magical shock! If I had known, I would have found out if he still trusts you."

"Which is exactly why you didn't know," said Snape sharply. "Harry, you are reckless when you worry—and recovering your strength is far more important than assurances of my safety. I accept the risks that come with my position."

"But why take risks when I'm perfectly capable of finding out if you're safe!"

"And risk your recovery?"

"We met with the Order on Saturday—_before_ the magical shock. I felt the worry that went between you and Dumbledore. Why didn't you tell me then?"

Snape looked away from Harry's penetrating glare for a moment, but then turned back with a fire burning in his eyes. "Mr. Potter, your concerns about Remus Lupin's safety in Albania have apparently made you reckless once again."

"This has nothing to do with Remus!" shouted Harry. He felt raw. Snape had touched a nerve. "He'll be fine! I'm not going to lose him too!"

Snape was silent and Harry's voice seemed to echo in the room, punctuated with Harry's heavy breathing. Then, Snape said calmly, "Harry, I want you to return to Gryffindor Tower and calm down. We will further discuss the side effects of your magical shock at a later date."

'That's not what we were discussing,' thought Harry angrily, and something clicked into place. Snape had baited him in order to close the conversation. Harry tried to calm himself without much success. He paused, and then asked again, "Why didn't you tell me you might be in danger?"

Snape closed his eyes and said quietly, "This conversation is over."

Harry heard Lupin's voice in his head, clawing at his heart. '_If you care about him, he can hide things from you_.' Harry was tired of secrets, and decided in that moment he was going to get some answers.

He stood up suddenly and closed the distance between them in two angry steps. Snape stood up reflexively to fend off attack. Harry grabbed his hands, wrapped his fingers between Snape's, and pulled him close, forcing himself through Snape's shields and into that deep link they had experienced before.

Snape's thoughts were swirling with Harry's last question. '_Why didn't you tell me you might be in danger?_' And a grief that Harry recognized was there, weaving through Snape's unspoken answer, '_I have much to atone for_.'

Harry wanted to know everything, and he invaded Snape, pushing into him with all the magic that had been lying dormant in him for the past few days.

For weeks Snape had been concerned that Voldemort suspected something. He had only recently mentioned it to Dumbledore, and only because his death would greatly affect the Order.

Harry went deeper still.

Snape was not concerned for his life for the sake of his life. He did not dwell on such thoughts, but deep within, he knew, he _hoped_ that he would not make it through the war. He could not imagine life after. There was not another soul on this Earth except for other Death Eaters who could understand the things he had been through. The Death Eaters had no future after serving the Dark Lord. Snape had no future after… after everything…

Harry pushed further, and suddenly found himself staring into a pair of penetrating emerald green eyes. He was also staring into a pair of jet black eyes.

He felt panicked. Harry would know all of his secrets. He was looking for Snape's secrets. Harry had no right to do this… no right…

Harry felt Snape's grief well up within him—his own grief. And now, experiencing it firsthand, Harry instinctively knew the small tie it had to another emotion, buried deep within, locked away and forgotten. Harry was compelled to know more. He fought his way down into himself, into Snape's self, searching for the connection between the feelings that maddened him and the young face he was looking at, locked into.

And there it was—a younger version of Harry's face, but with deliberate flaws. It was Snape's first crush at Hogwarts, and James tormented him endlessly. Eventually, Snape turned his attentions to another student, with flowing red hair, and brilliant green eyes. She strung him along, and then ended up with Potter.

And the night he found out they were together, Lucius came to him and took him to the Dark Lord, who promised him everything, but delivered nothing but servitude and torture and violence of an unspeakable nature. And Severus Snape locked away all of his heartache, and he closed off his emotions.

And he became the perfect weapon.

Harry's body began to tremble as the part of his mind that was Snape remembered years of the torture and death he inflicted on others, and the pain he himself underwent. All the pain he delivered; all the pain he deserved.

And he felt a great fury welling within him as he stared into the young face that called to mind so many forgotten feelings that he now repressed automatically. And Harry understood now why Lupin had been so concerned. He had watched Snape show an emotion toward Harry that Snape would not even admit to himself that he felt—he had so long ignored such things. Even now, Harry sensed these feelings enveloped in Snape's fury. But Snape himself was unaware.

Harry could feel—he could see—his body shaking with the exertion of magic, with the newfound knowledge, with the dawning comprehension.

He could think of only one course of action.

He calmed Snape's rage, supposing he was working a magic similar to that of Nicolas and Perenelle. Then he slowly drew himself from the Potions Master's mind. Once he was only himself, he stumbled forward, letting go Snape's hands.

Snape caught Harry against his chest. He held him up by the shoulders and glared into his eyes.

"You possessed me," he whispered harshly. "What did you see!"

"I'm sorry," breathed Harry weakly.

"What did you _see_?" repeated Snape, shaking the limp Harry Potter.

Harry's eyes flashed with the horror of Snape's memories. He could just barely make out the image of Snape's furious face before him.

"Sev," he whimpered, "I'm so sorry…"

The memories took him.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: I hope that answers most of your questions. This chapter was originally going to be about 10 more pages (combined with the 15 pages from last chapter to bring it to a whopping 45!) But then I had this brilliant idea which will be the next chapter- and I had to end it here.

Speaking of next chapter, I may find myself in need of a beta for it. Anyone interested? If you are, email me (see my profile) or drop me a line in a review. It's going to be another doozy, I think, and therefore another wait.

Sorry!

Let's see… answers to questions that I anticipate will be asked if I don't say this…

Yes, Draco willingly told his father about Ginny. He knew he had to tell him something, and thought he'd be protecting Harry if he gave Voldemort this inconsequential information about the Weasel Girl instead. He never thought of it as betrayal, and never suspected Harry would find out about it anyway. The steps he has taken to protect himself that he mentioned is a reference to his Occlumency lessons with Snape. He is cocky enough to believe he'll be able to pull one over on Voldemort once he's trained. Will he? Wait and see.

Yes, that part where Harry possessed Snape really did mean that Snape has romantic feelings for Harry that are so far repressed that he doesn't even know about them. Yes, it is tied into his pubescent crushes on Harry's parents. Yes, it also has a great deal to do with Harry himself- Snape's gotten to know him VERY well in the past couple of months, and Harry's such a cool guy… Yes, this VERY repressed feeling that Snape has is related to that grief that's been welling up from time to time, although No, that is not all that that grief has to do with. Snape is passively suicidal (meaning he will not kill himself, but rather, expects himself to die in the war and will not go out of his way to save himself when the time comes.) So, as an emotionally closed off man who fully expects to die fairly soon, becoming so close to someone like Harry hurts. It also has to do with all those things he has to atone for. And No readers, lean forward, you keep asking about this there will be no statutory 'booty' in this fic. But no promises beyond that. (grins evilly)

And sorry if I caused anyone to unexpectedly crave crackers at the beginning of the chapter. I really did try to keep the cheese level to a minimum.

Thank you one and all for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know one way or the other.

Peace,

Kati

CS Whitewolf: I hope that clears up some of your questions. And, in my opinion, both Harry and Draco need a good boot up their behinds. But I"ve been trying to figure out how I can write that into the story and it not just be totally off the wall… it doesn't work. And I hadn't really thought about killing Voldemort without magic. Hmm… kitchen knife… piano wire… feed him too many WOW potato chips… Thanks for the review. I'm glad you still like it!

Celedriel-greenleaf: he had too. Don't be so hard on the boy. One might think you're Snape in disguise.

Pat2: Yay! Complexities! Yay! Not predictable! Yay!

Wintermoon2: You got the Narcissa Black thing too! You rock! And don't sweat the no review- although I now feel compelled to apologize if I forget to review any of your chapters. I get confused sometimes reading them in the group, and on fanfiction, and saving them to disk so I can read them on my laptop… and I forget if I reviewed. So, same to you! And really loved the PSL update- mentioning that even though I know I reviewed this time.

Malfoysnogger- ooh, finally got some answers about Draco, eh? And Harry finally built up his courage- and it only took a potential tragedyimagine that!

Slice: (giggles) (blushes) (snickers) Thank you.

Perin: sorry, had to happen! Glad you enjoy though.

Roxxanne: no, he's not. But he is in the DA. Thanks for the tip- PLEASE let me know if you catch more.

Nemati: Glad you liked it. Here's some more.

LadyLilyPotter: Why thank you. I'm glad you're reading, and I'm glad you like it.

Illucia- Right on all counts. Troubled hearts, yo. And yeah, Rita's nifty, I think. Thanks.

Tsyuno: Mortal peril, guilt trips! Gasp! What madness is this, complete with an archvillain laugh?

LizBethy: Ah yes, young angst. Gets you right in the heart, doesn't it?

Wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon: Woohoo! Thanks!

Rosalba- Agreed. Doormat!Harry sucks. And here you go- more Draco signed, sealed, and delivered.

Blue Bunny2: Yay! Glad you like it. And A Moment In Time! It's good, isn't it?

Madkornfan: Aw, but she's great! But, yeah, poor arrogant, deluded Draco. Thinks he can screw the boy-who-lived like he's any old student! Things are always more complicated with Harry.

PeachDancer82: Woohoo- glad you like the Harry/Ginny bond!

Yukari: I'm trying! I'm trying! There's only so much I can do and it still be plausible in this context! Thanks for reviewing.

Saccy: Kick ass! I can't even get my own husband to read it!

Emeline: how's that angst for you?

Silent-sounds: It was meant to be. But more stuff is meant to be later on, so chin up, buckaroo.

Firestar: Yay! Glad you like Ginny. Love me some strong female characters, and Ginny just kicked so much ass in Book 5. Thanks!

Kiki: Thanks!

Elebereth: Thank you! Glad you like it. And, it had to be Ginny because she's so strong, and she's so in love with Harry that she's even willing to sacrifice her chances with him to help him.

Ladybird (Chapter4): Thanks! I thought I had fixed that already, but I"ll make a point to get it! Let me know if you see any other mistakes.


	17. Voices

A/N: Squeals! I've gotten over 200 reviews now! You guys rock!

I want to send out a very special thank you to my betas for this chapter- CS Whitewolf and VirginSuicide. I can't tell you how much they helped me pull this chapter together. It was really quite trying to write. You guys are fantastic!

And, Headphone Therapy, I think we can safely say we are officially in the belly of this beast.

Speaking of which, I feel compelled to warn you guys that some violence follows.

/words/ mental voice that sounds remarkably like Harry

(words) mental voice that sounds remarkably like Snape

_…words…_ montage of memory flashes

"words" voices out loud, per usual.

X

XIX

XIXIX "Voices" XIXIX

The air was brisk; the sky was clear. A haunting glow from the full moon lit the way, and only in hindsight did it stand as a beacon of warning—_your doom lies this way_.

The night brushed past him like déjà vu, the memory of a memory. Anger pushed him forward and all reservations were forgotten as revenge pulsed through his veins.

"Tonight you get yours," he whispered through his satisfied smirk.

He crept now in stealthy silence, barely making a sound lest he disturb the resting willow. Inching closer, ever mindful, ever watchful, his eyes running rivers over the trunk and the root system, looking for the supposed key to entrance. The branches quivered and one swung down, straight for him. He tumbled forward, pressing the small knot amongst the roots and continuing his dodging roll in case the tree continued to attack.

But what do you know? As the branch swung upward, preparing no doubt for another swipe at him, it suddenly stiffened and froze as if put under a body bind curse. His eyes glinting with malicious glee at the small victory, Severus could make out an opening that led into darkness.

"Lumos," he said, climbing down, excitement growing. It was real. That fool Black had really screwed up when he let Severus overhear tell of their nighttime activities. Once he caught the Marauders red-handed, the Headmaster would have no choice but to expel them.

In hindsight he cringed. Humiliation and anger were seamlessly woven into the event. But his memory swept forward in his great haste. He mistook the echoing noises ahead for drunken revelry, and he did not hear the footsteps running behind him.

It was only when he reached for the trapdoor handle at the end of the tunnel that a moment of fear made him pause with caution. He stood unmoving for several seconds, hand extended, listening to the sounds emitting from the room above. Surely those harsh, dangerous-sounding echoes could be of no party. His mind was in turmoil as to whether or not to proceed; his wariness to confront the cause of such noise clashed with his almost painful desire to see the Marauders expelled.

A panicked voice broke him from his reverie.

"Severus, no!"

Potter.

Present and past selves both swelled with undeniable loathing. Potter: who had so publicly rejected him so long ago. Potter: who had so thoroughly humiliated him time and time again. Potter: who had stolen Lily. Potter: the bane of his existence; the thorn in his side. What gall he had to try to stop him now!

Out of spite, Severus swung his gaze from the fast approaching dark-haired boy, and wrenched open the trapdoor. All was silent and still for one sanctified moment as his eyes focused from the dull glow of his wand to the deep darkness of the room above.

But then his heart stopped beating as an imposing shape advanced with frightening speed across the room and through the shafts of moonlight that filtered through the boarded up windows. Severus swallowed hard as his eardrums splintered with the hellacious roar.

And then, in a moment of panic that would forever cause countless hours of cursing out unfathomable regret, Severus froze.

He froze as a werewolf—claws extended, teeth bared—lunged at him.

And he separated from himself, so that it seemed as though he were watching a slow-motion reenactment of the attack, and his disembodied self accepted without question that in the blink of an eye, he'd either be a werewolf—or dead.

He would have been… except that a white stag leapt over him and trampled down the werewolf, driving it back into the house above. Severus could hear the blood-curdling howls, and the drumming of hooves as the two fought—teeth to prongs, claws to hooves—and the stag won! The werewolf retreated, and the stag returned, climbing in the form of James Potter back into the tunnel, securely closing the trapdoor once again, and shaking back to reality the petrified Severus.

"Severus, oh Merlin, answer me! Did he get you!"

Severus blinked once as his mind translated the words. He shook his head in response.

James hung his head and his body drooped as he sighed relief. "Sirius told me he had you overhear how to get down here. I couldn't let it happen. I'm gonna beat the shit out of him when we get back. And I wouldn't blame you if you organized a band of Slytherins to get him again later," he growled.

"You saved my life," said Severus dully, as his future self mentally smacked himself for ever voicing that misguided statement.

"I was almost too late," said James guiltily.

"I owe you a life debt."

James shook his head. "Just don't tell anyone about this and we're even, okay?"

Severus narrowed his eyes and snapped, "Secrecy does not repay a life debt and you know it."

But James never asked for another thing, and Severus loathed him even more—leaving him in his debt, and then dying, so that Severus had to carry the debt on his shoulders until his brat of a son was old enough to start drawing the attention of those who would repeatedly try to kill him.

Severus remembered all of this.

And now, so did Harry.

XIXIX

"What happened?"

Albus Dumbledore knelt down next to the unconscious Harry Potter who was laid out across Snape's couch.

"He was upset about Lupin, and other things. He came to me demanding answers, and when he wasn't satisfied with the ones I gave him, he… Albus, he possessed me."

"Merlin's beard," whispered Dumbledore, looking up at Snape, who had temporarily stopped pacing to look down sadly at Harry. "Was it intentional?"

Snape shook his head. "No, I don't think so. His magic is still erratic from the shock. I was going to prescribe a few more days break from his training, but… anyway, that, combined with his heightened emotional state… No. I think he was merely trying to use our link to get the answers he wanted."

"What answers did he want?" Dumbledore turned back to Harry and gently put a hand on the young man's forehead.

Snape opened his mouth to answer, but found himself unable.

To tell Dumbledore of Harry's discovery about him training the Slytherins would lead to how Harry knew, and why that even bothered him, which leads back to Malfoy… and Snape's knowledge of their relationship and all the events surrounding it was now protected by the oath he took to train Harry.

Nor could he tell Dumbledore about Harry's concern for Snape's own well-being, because Harry's concern extended into Legilimency and potion use.

Dumbledore looked up and furrowed his brow as he watched Snape try to speak, and fail.

"I'm sorry, Albus. The oath covers everything." He sighed heavily, and then continued pacing, whispering angrily, "Damn the broad wording we chose for the oath!"

Dumbledore nodded. "Severus, what CAN you tell me?"

Snape paused in his pacing once again and looked at the headmaster. "I don't believe he's in a magical coma. I am fairly certain his state has nothing to do with overextending himself magically."

"Then what is it?" Dumbledore's concern grew as he studied the tragic look on the Potions Master's face. It was highly uncharacteristic of him to show such emotion.

Snape swallowed hard and whispered, "The look on his face, Albus, when he came out… I think he saw everything. I think he gained the full detail of my memories of being a Death Eater."

XIXIX

/My father was a hero after all./

(Your father was a prat. He wimped out of a would-be lethal prank.)

/He saved my life. Your life, I mean./

(He terrorized me for years, and then held a life debt over me.)

/But he never asked for anything, except discretion. He was trying to make amends./

(He failed.)

/So you became a Death Eater/

(I did NOT become a Death Eater because of James Potter!)

/Then why/

(It was power, given and taken away by my father)

_…disappointment, never good enough, masked feelings, will not cry again… _

(It was fear and humiliation in school)

_…looking up at the laughing faces, youngest in the year, smallest, picked on constantly, hiding spaces in the dungeons, highest grades in all my classes, hexed in hallways…_

(It was anger and disgust at the world)

_…filthy mudbloods, tainting thousand-year-old bloodlines, endangering the entire wizarding community with their ties to the muggles, inferior beings must be contained, venting anger, sneering faces, casting curses, power, power, power, power, power, power, power…_

…first kill, apparate in, sleeping family, muggle children, two Death Eaters, two initiates, screaming children, Unforgivables, naked mother, burning candles, sick pornography, they shit themselves, father stabs them, his eyes wide open, tears running, he cannot stop himself, mouth is open, his nose drips snot, the room is red and stinks of death…

/And I stood there and laughed. You laughed, I mean./

(Yes, I did.)

XIXIX

"How long has he been like this?"

"Since yesterday evening."

"Why isn't he in the infirmary?"

"He's safer in my care."

Lupin took one look at Snape's carefully placed indifferent sneer and lunged across the room. He grabbed him by his chest and threw him into the wall. Snape dropped to the ground and Lupin climbed on top of him, pinning him down. His teeth were bared and he snarled, "I told you to stay away from my son!"

"REMUS LUPIN!" bellowed Dumbledore as he flicked his wand, prying the ferocious man from his victim and flinging him across the room, quickly casting an invisible barrier around him so that he could not again attack.

Lupin pounded against the barrier, yelling, "There is no reason for Harry to be in your bed, you sick fuck!"

"Calm yourself, Remus," demanded Dumbledore, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Albus," he pleaded, "We've got to get him out of here. He needs to be in the infirmary!"

"In the infirmary, where everyone in the school will know his condition? So they can report to their parents, who will report to Voldemort?" Dumbledore shook his head. "No, Remus, Harry is far safer here with Severus."

Snape pulled himself to his feet, carefully straightened his robes, fixed his glare, and turned back to the two men as though nothing had happened.

Lupin stood seething. "Albus, what has he done to my son?"

"Remus," said Dumbledore threateningly, "Control yourself or we will continue this discussion elsewhere."

Lupin glanced at Harry's form in Snape's bed and nodded, biting back his protective instincts.

"Harry is in a coma. We believe it is the result of his mind trying to assimilate memories he obtained when he possessed Professor Snape yesterday evening."

"He WHAT!" shouted Lupin, glaring at Snape. "How could you let him do that—and so soon after magical shock!"

Snape deepened his glare. "Mr. Potter did not offer me much of a choice in the matter."

"The possession was accidental," supplied Dumbledore.

"No one _accidentally_ performs magic that powerful," said Lupin snidely.

"Remus," warned Dumbledore.

Lupin backed down. "What have you done to revive him?"

"All of the basics," said Dumbledore. "Severus also attempted to bring Harry back by contacting him through their link."

"And?" asked Lupin, struggling to refrain from trying to attack Snape again at the mention of his link with Harry.

Dumbledore shook his head. "His mind is closed off from us. But he does seem to be somewhat aware of his surroundings."

"Why do you say that?"

"Thus far, Harry has only allowed Professor Snape to administer food, water, or potions. When Poppy and I tried, he would not swallow, and in fact, stopped breathing as well and would have suffocated had we not removed the potion from his mouth."

Lupin felt a pang of jealousy and anger at this news. "I want to try," he declared.

"We hoped you would," said Dumbledore. "If Harry will allow you to feed him, then we can transfer him to your care."

Lupin paled slightly as a thought hit him. "His absence will be noticed."

"It already has been," said Snape calmly.

"Word will reach Voldemort. What are the students being told?"

"His closest friends have been told that, for safety's sake, he will be in hiding temporarily. Beyond that, we are allowing rumors to propagate," said Dumbledore, a tight smile forming on his face. "So far, most of the rumors center around special training in exotic places."

Lupin sighed heavily and rested his forehead on the invisible barrier. "You know his friends are going to start digging for answers. They can't not solve mysteries that have nothing to do with them. They are definitely going to try to find the truth about Harry's disappearance."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, but, you are now the fourth person to know the truth. So our main concern is whether Harry's mind is as closed off to Voldemort as it is to Severus. If he were to infiltrate Harry's mind in the state it is in now, there is no telling the harm that could be done."

"But it's not a magical coma!" said Lupin. "Shouldn't he be able to protect himself?"

Snape answered cautiously. "He is… able… to protect himself with Occlumency. We just cannot be sure that he _is_."

XIXIX

/How did you become like that? Laughing at all that pain/

(My father had a great deal to do with it.)

/My father was a bastard … I mean, your father./

(He reminds me a bit of Uncle Vernon.)

/Uncle Vernon never beat Aunt Petunia. Or me. Father was cold and cruel. He could never be satisfied. Growing up with him was like… you were afraid…/

(I was always afraid of making a wrong move, because anything could send him off. I don't know what was worse—the rage or the silence. He enjoyed watching pain. He enjoyed causing it. But when he couldn't, he would just take away everything. He could suck the life out of you—suck out the joy, until you were a shell focused only on gaining his approval, winning his love. But he had no love. He had no soul.)

/Like a Dementor/

(Hmm… He is what I think of when they come around…)

/So he taught you how to enjoy causing pain./

(He taught me most of the curses I know. Delighted in it, as a matter of fact. That was our father/son time together… preparing me to impart pain. My mother believed in the purity of bloodlines. She thought Voldemort had some good ideas. My father… he just liked Voldemort's methods.)

/I hate him. I hate him so much./

(The hate dulls with time.)

XIXIX

Ginny Weasley stared up at the Head Table, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't buy it," she said finally.

"Me neither," agreed Ron, glaring into his breakfast. "If Harry knew he was going into hiding, he would have told us. He would have at least somehow let us know he was okay."

"And anyway," continued Ginny, "Look at Dumbledore, going on like nothing has happened. It's a total act. That twinkle in his eyes… it's fake. Something's wrong."

Hermione picked at her food. "I just wish I knew what to do about it." She had spent the last few days so worried that she felt she was always verging on tears. Ron put his arm on her shoulder, and she let him, but turned to Ginny. "Are you sure he didn't say anything else?"

Ginny shook her head, staring intently at McGonagall. "Just said he was going to get answers… I don't think McGonagall knows anything. She looks like she's covering worry too, but, she clearly trusts everything is okay. Dumbledore's the one who knows the truth."

Ginny had also been watching Malfoy, who had sneered his "Thank Merlin he's gone" just like the rest of Slytherin, but Ginny saw something else buried in his expression. He was nervous. He might know something, but Ginny couldn't think of any safe way to ask him. If his disappearance was to do with Voldemort, Malfoy wouldn't tell her anyway, but if it was something else… her questions might wind up giving him answers. She couldn't risk it.

"What about Snape?" she asked.

"Terrible mood this week," said Ron. "I don't fancy trying to pump him for information. You'd wind up with a year's worth of detention."

Ginny sighed heavily and stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Hermione.

"I'm owling Mom. Maybe she'll accidentally slip something in that will help us figure out what's going on."

"Don't you have Potions? You'll be late," said Ron.

"I don't care," said Ginny. "I can't stand not knowing. And anyway," she leaned in closer and gave her brother a sly look, "Maybe Snape'll tell me something in detention." She grabbed her bag and swept out of the Great Hall.

Ron stared after her incredulously. "Is that supposed to be bravery? _Willingly_ provoking Snape to get answers?"

"I suspect it's more loyalty than bravery," said Hermione. "The magical sister bond must really be bothering her right now." She turned back to her breakfast. "And anyway, it's Harry."

XIXIX

"Harry?"

_…lifetime of suspicion, no one will ever trust me again…_

"Harry, I don't know if you can hear me, but…"

…it's never open mistrust—it's all looks and body positioning, whispers, even at Hogwarts, even in the Order…

"I know you were worried about me going to Albania—and I guess you were right. You saved my life with that information, so, thank you."

…students think I'm evil, but that's to be expected, scared faces, nervous fidgeting, distracted mistakes…

"I can't stand seeing you like this. I want to help. I want to fix it all for you. I wish I could have given you a normal life. I wish you could have been a normal boy."

…cupboard under the stairs, Uncle Vernon yelling, I didn't make my hair grow back, suspicious looks, I'm a parslemouth, Heir of Slytherin, Tri-Wizard Tournament, Harry Potter killed Cedric Diggory…

…Marauders torturing me, students laughing, father's lessons, curses, pain, Voldemort's power so appealing…

"But instead you're laying here with all these powers, and all these worries, and now, all these new memories…"

…Dumbledore offers me a job as a sign of good faith, but blocks the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, forever banned I suppose because of the Dark Mark—no matter how I've proven myself, always on the outside, bitter and solitary, but he allows a known werewolf, who nearly killed me, seething anger, and the Order throws suspicion my way, they value the information I bring, but in their minds, they hope I die on the next mission so they don't have to fear betrayal any longer…

"We'll work through this, Harry. We'll get through it. But you have to wake up. Please drink this. Please wake up for me."

/It's Remus. He's okay./

(Don't drink it.)

/He wants to see me./

(That's his voice, but it doesn't mean it's him. It could be a voice illusion. He could be offering you poison. Unless you can feel and recognize the magic of the person offering, don't imbibe a thing.)

/You're right. I should protect myself. Lupin can wait. After so many years of suspicion… he can wait./

Lupin waited for a while, but Harry did not swallow. He did not breathe.

He sighed heavily, and waved his wand, clearing the Revival Potion from Harry's mouth. He began to breathe the moment the liquid was removed.

Lupin choked back his tears, looking at the relaxed face of James and Lily's son. He slid down in his seat and closed his eyes heavily, trying not to think about everything the boy must be experiencing. All the things Snape had ever done running though his mind, all those memories…

Lupin shook his head, but failed to clear the thoughts away. Harry was powerful, but surely he wasn't capable of a full…

The door opened, and an instant later, Lupin found himself face to face with Severus Snape, his wand pointed directly at Snape's heart.

"No change?" asked Snape calmly.

Lupin shook his head, lowering his wand. "No," he said quietly. "I thought the Revival Potion might work if I could convince him to take it and let it wake him, but he still won't drink a thing from my hand. Are you sure he can hear us?"

"No." Snape walked over to the chair next to Harry's bed and carefully sat down. "Get some rest."

Lupin nodded, relieved of his shift. Snape would watch Harry until 2:00am. Lupin stood watch overnight and during the day, while Snape slept and taught classes. Snape came in from time to time to give Harry food and drink. He would only swallow when it was Snape. But no potions revived him. They got no response from him at all.

Lupin stepped through the door Snape had just entered through, and left the small cottage in the mountains of Brazil. He closed the door behind himself and glanced around Snape's quarters. He was hungry, and he needed to sleep. He summoned a house elf to bring dinner, and sat down at the table.

The house elf arrived with food, and served him eagerly, oblivious to the bright orange door that clashed with the rest of the room. Dumbledore had moved it into Snape's quarters Sunday night after Lupin arrived. It was a portal to the cottage, which was at the same time a part of Hogwarts—and therefore protected by its wards—_and_ located in South America—and therefore hopefully far enough from Voldemort to lessen his link with Harry.

The Fidelius Charm protected the door itself, as well as the cottage. Only Dumbledore, Lupin, Snape, and Madam Pomfrey knew of its existence.

Snape and Lupin watched Harry for any signs of improvement or decline, and guarded him in case something happened. Dumbledore had always trusted Snape, so Lupin had always put his faith in that, rather than the man. But seeing the care with which Snape looked after Harry this week, Lupin began to wonder if perhaps he should trust the man after all.

XIXIX

Hermione returned form the North Tower with more books, and Ginny greedily snatched at them. "Find anything else?" she asked, almost frantically.

"More prophecies. I can't believe the extent of them. Now that we know what to look for, it's almost as if we open a book and it jumps out at us."

"We've got to catalogue all of this," said Ginny immediately. "It's no good to keep reading without keeping records. We should make charts, and cross-reference everything."

"Slow down, Ginny," said Ron. "You're starting to sound like Hermione."

"Well, what do you want me to do!" she snapped. "I've got to do something! I can't just sit here and not help! Four days he's been gone! Four days! I can't make him come back, so the least I can do is make sure he's more prepared for this goddamn battle when he does!"

"Ginny, calm down," urged Hermione softly. "He'll come back and we'll have the charts ready for him when he does."

"This is driving me crazy."

"I know."

"Snape knows something," she said. "Have you noticed how dark his eyes are? He's not sleeping."

"Are you really going to ask him?" asked Ron in a tone that clearly said he didn't think it was a very good idea.

"Harry trusts him. So do I."

XIXIX

/So they mistrust you. So what? It's not like you _should_ be trusted, after all the shit you did./

(Et tu, Brute?)

/Don't give me that. I've seen it./

…years of torture, hunting people, kissing hems, spreading fear, serving darkness, lording power, cursing innocents, killing, killing, killing, the blood is on my hands…

/You enjoyed it, even./

_…grief…_

(I did.)

…years of danger, restitution, double agent, cunning spy, thirteen years the Dark Lord rested, still mistrusted, never a chance, never a new beginning, never enough time past, never enough proof of a clean life… I'll never be enough…

(You're right. Who could ever forgive what I've done?)

/You haven't even forgiven yourself/

(No.)

/Then why _should_ anyone trust you/

(I suppose I always figured that their forgiveness would come first. Their trust. After the world absolved me, then I would forgive myself.)

/Do you deserve to be forgiven/

(That's not for me to judge.)

/You're the perfect judge. Should you be forgiven/

(I've spent 17 years living my life to make myself worthy of forgiveness… And I…)

/What/

(You're sixteen. I became a Death Eater at sixteen. In the three years before I turned spy, I did unspeakable things.)

…screams still echo, every scream, every face of every victim, every look of terror, every plea for mercy, every curse, every dead, lifeless body, every person that lived on with their memories of torture—it all echoes—it never goes away…

(Some pain never dulls. And the things I've done while working as a spy… It's all the same. Is it better that I torture people because sometimes I can secure information used to imprison other torturers? Is it better that I kill because sometimes I help trap other killers?)

XIXIX

"Professor Snape?" Ginny paused her scrubbing of the dungeon classroom floor to fix Snape with a desperate look. This had to work. He would see that she was sleeping as little as he. He would tell her… something, at least.

"Yes, Ms. Weasley?" An impassive face—but dark, tired eyes—turned to her.

"Do you know anything about twin bonds?"

His gaze flickered, and Ginny knew that he was finding it harder to hold his mask together. When he said nothing, Ginny continued.

"Because I know that magical brother-sister bonds are made with a mere expression of interest, and that they continue to grow stronger so long as both parties continue to remain committed to the relationship."

She paused to watch him, but Snape remained as inexpressive as ever.

"And sometimes it gets to the point where we can even hear… I mean, where _they_ can hear each other's thoughts…" No really, that was an accidental slip of the tongue.

Snape looked back to the papers he was grading. "And, Ms. Weasley? I assume there is some point behind your drivel," he snapped.

Ginny took a deep breath and pushed on. "I was wondering about twin bonds. I mean, I know they have to be forged with a conscious choice of sharing everything, and that the twins will always know if the other is safe, but… Can the bond be forged over distances? If both people were willing?"

"No, Ms. Weasley. Twin bonds also involve the exchange of blood."

"Oh," she said quietly, staring down at the floor, but not scrubbing. She waited in silence for some time, and then sniffed loudly, continuing to scrub.

'He's not going to ask,' she thought, 'But he knows about our bond, and he's thinking about it now.'

Ginny sniffed again and Snape shifted slightly in his seat. That was her cue.

"Professor, do you know where he is?" she whispered softly.

Pause. "Who, Ms. Weasley?" But the cold in his voice was obviously forced.

"Harry," she said, her voice breaking a little.

"I was told he is in hiding," he recited.

"And I know that's not the truth," she said, looking up at him, begging him with her eyes to tell her where her brother was.

"Are you suggesting the Headmaster is lying?"

"Please," she said. "It's been six days. I know something is wrong. I can feel it. Like I'm cut off…" She looked away from his eyes, hoping against hope that Snape would find his heart.

He drew a long, slow breath that she could only just barely hear. Finally, he said in a low voice, "He is safe."

"Is he?" she asked, meeting his eye again.

"As safe as he ever is. You may return the cleaning supplies to Filch and return to your dormitory." He stood up and swept into his office, closing the door behind him. Ginny got up to leave. Her small victory tasted sour in her mouth.

XIXIX

/Why didn't you stay with Voldemort/

(My mum died.)

/You make it sound so simple, but it never is./

(My mother died soon after she found out I had become a Death Eater like my father.)

/You blamed yourself./

(She killed herself. She knew potions. She would never have accidentally taken that combination.)

/I… You… It wasn't just you…/

(No, it wasn't just me. My father brought home some Ministry officials he had abducted per Voldemort's order. They were in the dungeons for days, and she finally caught on that perhaps Voldemort's ends did not justify his means. She later asked me if I would have done what my father did.)

/And you told her you already had./

(I respected her with the truth. She confronted my father.)

…his rage takes over, he raises his wand, she cowers in fright, 'I'm your wife, damn it', and he laughs, 'Severus, this is your blood,' he says, and spills hers on the rug, 'Notice the color, the smell, notice the look on her face…' and Severus did, 'I feel you have a choice to make, Severus, as to whose son you truly are,' and Severus drew his eyes from his mother's excruciating pain, taking in the angle of his father's wand, his vicious smile, 'It is your fate to become one of us as you see us now… Choose,' and the power was exciting to see, but his mother was on the floor in agony…

(And then she killed herself. And then I killed my father.)

…Death Eater mission, raiding Azkaban before the Dementors were put in charge, freeing Death Eaters, guards intercepting, reinforcements coming, father's voice—he's casting curses, no one will know—they'll blame the guards, a well-aimed curse to crush his windpipe, he falls, the guards are watching, but I just walk away, they gape in shock…

(A stupid mistake to leave witnesses. The others brought my father's body back with us, so there was no evidence, but the story got around. It got back to Voldemort.)

XIXIX

Snape didn't speak as he entered the cottage. Lupin was there in an instant, ready to kill if it had been anyone other than he, Dumbledore, or Madam Pomfrey. Snape didn't even flinch; his eyes were on Harry. Silently he swept forward, taking Lupin's seat.

"I thought you had detention," said Lupin, coming up behind him.

"It ended early," he replied simply. "Go get some rest."

Lupin eyed him intently. "No, it's okay. I'll watch him."

Snape didn't move.

"Severus, have you slept at all this week?"

Snape kept his eyes on Harry, and remained silent. Lupin drew a chair up next to his. They sat in silence for some time, Snape watching Harry, Lupin watching Snape.

"You need to sleep, Severus. It's not healthy."

Finally, Snape looked up at him. Lupin noticed that his eyes were tinged with a very faint redness, and he wondered if Snape had been crying.

"He's assimilating my memories, Remus," Snape whispered.

"It's not your fault, Severus." It was the first time he had said it aloud, although he had known it for truth since that conversation with Dumbledore.

"At first I had hoped that when he possessed me he had only gone deep enough to have seen… maybe this year… maybe the last few, but…" Snape looked back to Harry. "After this long unconscious… he did it all the way. A full possession."

They both knew it was true, but neither had wanted to admit it.

"It never occurred to me he could have, or I would have warned him against it," he said firmly. He turned to Lupin with a wild look in his eye, and continued in a loud, almost jovial voice, "But who would have thought that even _Harry Potter_ would be capable of a full possession at just sixteen years of age!"

He stood up and began pacing.

"Did you know the youngest was thirty-nine? He possessed three different people, and lost himself—couldn't differentiate the other memories from his own! Only the great Rowena Ravenclaw herself ever fully possessed someone and came out unscathed, and with no apparent use of a pensieve, even!" He laughed maniacally, and Lupin wondered briefly if Harry could hear Snape's meltdown. "Do you think our young Harry will come through with the gifts of yet another founder!"

He slumped suddenly back into his seat, and turned to Lupin, washed over with oceans of guilt and pain, "Do you think he'll come back?"

Lupin sat forward, and took hold of Snape with his very determined eyes. "Of course he will, Severus. This is Harry."

Snape scoffed brokenly. "Ginny Weasley can feel how far away he is."

"Ginny? Are they bonded?"

Snape opened his mouth, but couldn't answer. "The Oath," he said instead, and Lupin nodded.

"He just needs time, Severus. He'll be okay."

XIXIX

/I don't want to see it./

(You have to. This is your memory now.)

…'You disappoint me, Severus,' 'Yes, my Lord,' and pain beyond pain, 'He served me well, far better than you, I might add,' and agony eternal, 'Your childish attachment to your mother has cost me dearly. You may not kill my followers without my command,' 'Yes, my Lord. I am sorry, my Lord,' ragged breathing, coughing blood, 'Oh… you will be'…

(And they entered, and each came forward and sought revenge. Teaching me a lesson about my father, but I saw their faces. They didn't care about him, and they didn't care that it was me. I was just one more body, one more means of releasing what was locked within.)

…stripped and wandless, dungeon cell, chained to the wall, or the floor, hung in mid-air, sometimes upside-down, one by one, casting curses, slash the skin, burn it all, the meat of my body, break me down, healing spells, the scars run deeper, food and water, revival potions, so I last longer…

(But I was one of their numbers, which made it that much more satisfying.)

…'Oh, your father used to be fond of this one,' hissed Bellatrix with her maddening laugh, drawing fingernails across naked flesh, she tilts her wand and I ejaculate endlessly, the pain sickening, their laughter deadening, and I don't even know if I'm screaming anymore, as I think of my father towering above my mother ('Choose') and Lucius says my father's name as he strikes me and curses me and I kneel before him, bloodied but not begging…

…days it lasted, never ceasing, some have been here, where I am—they laugh harder, taunting, jeering, pound into me, body aching, my soul blackens, I've seen the worst, and I survived, never again, never again, never again…

(And then I went to Albus.)

/Did you ever second guess that decision/

(Never once.)

XIXIX

Ginny nearly screamed in frustration, flinging the book she had been reading across the common room. Hermione and Ron, who were just returning from their nightly rounds, entered in time to see the book smack against the floor. Hermione shared a look with Ron before leaning down and picking up the book, but she decided not to remind Ginny that Trelawney had made her promise not to cause any damage to her precious works.

Ron slid into the seat next to his sister, and Hermione across the table. She pulled the charts Ginny had been working on all weekend over to her and immediately saw what had upset her so much.

"What does this mean?" she asked.

Ginny shrugged dejectedly. "I'm not sure. But I've found thirteen different prophecies that seem to say that one day, the only hope for salvation just lays down, closes his eyes, and never returns."

"But what does that mean?" ask Ron.

"I don't know. But there are six more that say he does return, but only after another offer, or another memory, or, I don't know!" Ginny wrapped her head in her arms and slumped onto the table.

"We have to go to Dumbledore with this," said Hermione, gathering up the parchments. "It could have something to do with whatever has happened to Harry."

"It _does_ have to do with Harry," said Ginny, her voice muffled through her arms. "I can feel it… I just don't know what it means. I don't know what to do."

"We go to Dumbledore," stated Hermione definitively.

Ron pulled Ginny to her feet. "She's right. And luckily, we're Prefects, which means that a 1:00 am visit to Dumbledore's office on a Monday night is more than acceptable." He put his arm around Ginny's waist and said kindly, "Come along, Genevieve. Maybe we can trade this info for some answers."

XIXIX

/How can you live after that/

(I survived for some time. But not anymore. I became a spy again because I had to. But I have no future after this war. I've given all I have to offer.)

/Thirty-six years ago, I was a boy named Harry Potter. I was an orphan and an outcast. An awkward kid with a penchant for attracting murderous dark lords. I narrowly escaped with my life several times. And I was tired. I was tired of being so far removed from everybody. I was tired of people dying. I was tired of always being the Boy Who Lived, and never just Harry. I was just some stupid kid with way too much good luck and bad luck for his own good./

(Who are you now?)

/I don't know. An amalgam maybe. Some guy with far too many bad memories./

(It's the memories that wear me down. They make me who I am, but I don't want to be that person anymore.)

/I don't want to be him either. I want my parents back. I want Sirius./

XIXIX

Ginny Weasley lay shaking on her bed.

She wasn't getting any answers. Dumbledore had thanked them for their work, and told them everything was okay, that Harry was okay. Ginny wanted to kill him.

She floated through classes the next day, barely registering anything.

She hadn't even bothered to go to class today. She felt like a huge chunk of her was missing. Like she was slipping away.

Maybe she was only his sister, but Ginny knew without doubt that Harry was not okay.

XIXIX

"Something's wrong."

Snape slammed his way into the cottage, pushing Lupin aside as he once again reared to attack. He swept swiftly to Harry's side, sitting on the bed and staring hard down at him, studying the unconscious young man. Snape took his hand and held it tight.

"Nothing's changed," said Lupin behind him.

"Something has. Harry, can you hear me?"

/I have no future after this war. I'm so close now. All I have to do is reach out and I know they'll come for me./

Snape jumped when he heard Harry's voice speaking into his mind. "Harry, what are you doing?" he shouted in alarm.

/I remember you didn't believe me, but I did contact Sirius. He came to me. They'll all come this time. I'll go to them if I have to./

"Oh Merlin." Snape rounded on Lupin. "Go get Dumbledore," he yelled. "Now!"

Lupin bolted from the room without question; Snape could hear the firecall in his quarters through the open door.

"Harry, don't call them. Stay here with me. It's time for you to wake up now. Just hold onto my voice and come back."

/Sev, there's no future there. All there is, is a past I don't want./

"There is a future, Harry. _Your_ future. That past is mine. We can sieve it out, but you have to wake up. Come back. Give me back my memories."

/It's too late for that, Sev./

"No, it's not, Harry! We can fix it. I was there. We can fix it together."

/No we can't. It's too much. I'll never be enough. I see that now./

Snape was shaking, his face drawn in panic. "Mr. Potter," he snapped. "You will wake up this instant!"

/That was thirty-six years ago. You can't scare me now./

Snape choked. "Please," he whispered, begging.

/You deserve it, Sev./

"What?"

/Forgiveness. I've decided. I know it all now. I know why your future closes in, and I know why you grieve. I know why you blame yourself for everything. But I forgive you. You deserve it./

Snape shuddered, leaning over the pale figure, tears dripping onto his face and neck.

/I want you to forgive yourself. Do you think you can/

Snape heard his own rasping breath. He heard Dumbledore and Lupin gasp as they entered to see Snape crying over Harry's prone figure. He heard Harry's voice in his head, and for the first time in his life, he was absolved, and by the one person with the best authority to do so.

"I can now," he whispered.

/Good. Goodbye./

And Harry stopped breathing.

"Harry!" Snape screamed into his face. But he was shut out once again, and he knew that Harry had no intention of coming back.

Panicked, he turned to Dumbledore. "Ginny Weasley!" he coughed. Dumbledore and Lupin stared at him, pale in their fear of losing Harry. "Get Ginny Weasley! NOW!"

Lupin rushed forward and took Harry in his arms, trying to revive him. Dumbledore was gone. Snape watched him step into the fire.

XIXIX

"Ginny, you must come with me."

Ginny turned in her bed to see Albus Dumbledore stepping through the fire in her dormitory. Her eyes were drifting, and she felt very far away.

Dumbledore swept forward and pulled her up. "Harry needs you," he said quickly.

The words hit her like adrenaline and she was up in a flash. She and Dumbledore stepped into the fire and Dumbledore said, "Professor Snape's quarters."

She felt herself spinning, and tumbled forward into the dungeon bedroom.

"Where is he!" she demanded fiercely.

"Harry is in hiding through the orange door," Dumbledore answered.

"What orange door!" Her voice was nearly a scream as she turned around frantically. And suddenly, an open orange door appeared before her. Ginny rushed through and into a cozy bedroom. The first thing she saw was Snape. He was leaning against the wall, clutching a bureau for support. His hair covered his face. Lupin was sitting on the left side of the bed, rocking back and forth, clinging to—

Harry!

She ran to the bed, hurriedly climbing onto the right side, running her hands through Harry's hair, clutching at his shoulder, his back.

"What the hell is wrong with him!" she demanded.

"He's dying," said Lupin, his voice cracking.

Ginny let out a horrified noise, like her heart was breaking.

"He's in a coma," said Snape, from across the room. "He took my memories, and now he's lost in the worst of them. He can't remember his life well enough to want to live it any longer." He was standing by Ginny's side, holding a knife out to her. "You have to finish it, Ginny. Give him everything. It's our only hope."

Ginny nodded, taking the knife.

"W—what?" started Lupin.

"Twin bond," said Ginny, holding Snape's eye.

"No," said Dumbledore, stepping forward. "I cannot permit this. If you start the bond and he dies, part of you will die with him."

Ginny rounded on him. "Who the hell are you to stop me! '_Harry is fine, Ms. Weasley_.' You call this fine!"

"Ginny," he began calmly.

She turned back to Harry and said, "Anyway, the bond's already started."

"I can't condone this," said Dumbledore.

"Then get out," snapped Ginny. "Remus."

Lupin nodded and placed Harry into Ginny's arms. He stood up and pulled Dumbledore away. Snape pressed back against the wall, and then it was only Harry and Ginny.

She carefully pulled him close, breathing him in, focusing on her attachment to her brother. And very slowly and carefully, she began to carve a circle into the palm of her left hand.

"Harry," she said quietly, reaching out to him with her spirit, "I hope you can hear me, because it's time. The first time I saw you, wandering around, lost in the train station, you were an oddity to me. You were the Boy Who Lived, and a million other stupid titles that distanced you from everyone, and took away from who you are. I was a child who didn't know any better. But I do now."

She took his right and began to slowly and carefully carve a triangle.

"You are Harry Potter, the shy boy who cares entirely too much what the rest of the world thinks of him. You're the awkward boy that always underestimates himself, and who saved my life. You're the true friend, whose loyalty never wavers, whose bravery surpasses all. You are the Potter version of myself."

She pressed their bloody hands together, intertwining their fingers, squeezing tightly.

"And I know you're lost in there. I can feel you slipping away. But I offer myself to you. I ask you to become an extension of myself, my magical twin. And I offer you my memories, so you can remember who you are, and finally join the Weasley family like you've always wanted. Take this, Harry, and come back to me."

…family dinners, yelling brothers, hexing squabbles, hugs goodnight and bedtime stories, broken arm, they all come running, love and comfort, coming home, only girl, they're overprotective, Hogwarts letter, special diary, telling secrets, Harry Potter, memory lapses, fear, connection, crush and idol, Harry Potter, rushes down and saves my life, Tri-Wizard Tournament, Harry Potter, almost lost him, feel it change, Order Headquarters, Harry Potter, crush is over, friendship growing, Harry Potter, risk my life, Ministry of Magic, Harry Potter, entirely worth it, he'll end the war, Harry Potter, believe in him, Harry Potter, I fall in love, Harry Potter, I'm with you to the very end…

"Ginny," he breathed.

The new twins pulled each other into a bone-crushing embrace, trembling against each other.

Lupin and Dumbledore sank into the bedside chairs, washed over with relief. Severus slid down the wall and to the floor, shuddering horribly.

Harry was the first to break the silence, when he whispered, "You're in love with me, Ginny. You never should have agreed to this bond."

"You idiot," she whispered back. "You know you're worth it."

And they smiled into each other.

"How long was I gone?" he asked, finally pulling away a little.

"Ten days," said Dumbledore, his voice shaking.

"Wait, what day is it?"

"Wednesday," said Ginny, "April 1st."

"Oh." Harry sat up and turned to the shaking figure on the floor across the room. He gazed at Severus calmly with eyes that were no longer as expressive as they once were, and said quietly, "Happy birthday."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N:

Yuki Kurai- Draco' a smart boy. He knew what he was doing, even if he wasn't thinking about it.

Elebereth- Yup, that's exactly what he's doing.

Ladybird- Draco/Harry- they think it's love (and who am I to judge?) but you're right about there not being trust. But in there situation, how can there be? Right now at least. Sev/Harry- you're also right that they'll understand each other better than most, but that they'd still have plenty of issues to work through. But um, Sev/Remus? No, not this story. They may become friends, but I don't see more for them after so many years of animosity (we're talking like 26 years here- in my story, Sev's 36, Remus 37). And there was never an underlying attraction that perhaps Harry and Draco had- they just hated each other. Thanks for the review!

Illucia- You called that one! All of them, actually. Yes, this is a H/D. The H/S opening is necessary. You'll see why later… (grins evilly)

Celedriel-greenleaf- I know! Never a healthy relationship for Sev.

Shadow Bandit- Yes, indeed. What _will_ Harry do with the information? More Draco coming up. And thank you for reviewing.

VirginSuicide- You rock. You totally rock. I know I've said it already. But you do. Thanks for the awesome review, and for betaing for me.

CS Whitewolf- And you rock too! Another awesome beta/writer that I'm glad to be working with! Thank you for all your help.

B- so, indeed.

Malfoysnogger- Yes, Harry and Draco both understand each other better now… so let's see what happens after all this new craziness!

Firestar- Yay! Glad I got to cheer you up! I feel for the Slytherins too. I really hope there is something we can do for them. And that Draco took the opportunity of Harry's absence to wake up!

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat- Yeah, always back and forth- what's with him anyway? And Pansy sends her thanks for your condolences about the TB.

Wintermoon2- thanks for the beta offer, but I got a couple who are wonderful like you, but not quite as busy (so get to work with your stories! One update is not enough for me, even if Azhure did write an epic!). But um, yeah. I'm keeping secrets. For now. But here here on the parental collection, and for Harry holding his own. Confused young man- too much going on. He's doing the best he can.

Slice- oooh! I'm telling your mom! No I'm not. Anyone that would risk punishment to read my story is awesome, and I'm keeping your secret! (even if you call me a cliffhanger whore, because, well, it's true). Glad you're lovin' the character interaction. And Perenelle's ability to make Harry blush in front of the headmaster.

Nemati- I know, I know. Long wait… I'm sorry. But it was worth it, right? Brilliant idea, yes?

SheWolfe7- Yes, that is very aptly put. Draco is so Malfoy and never did (bother to?) understand Harry. Thanks for the review!

Wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon- (blushes) thank you.

Yukari- I'd like to see what Draco's going to do to get Harry back as well. It better be good, is all I have to say!

Hacen- 10! Woohoo! I rock! I'm awesome! I'm perfect! I'm the best! … ahem… um… I mean… er… thank you very much, kind reviewer.

Anon- I will always continue. Until the end, at least.

Madkornfan- Hey, I can't help it if Voldemort's got throngs of Death Eaters out to destroy Harry and everything and everyone he holds dear. And I can't help it if he's entered an angsty relationship with his rival. And I can't help it if he's going to go off and possess Snape just because he doesn't know any better. Not my fault, here! (thanks for the review)

Relle- thank you! Hope I didn't make you late!

Dragenphly- Thank you, but you know, that's really not fair of you. Sure, Draco's a fuck, but that's why we love him so dearly. But I do dig the Harry/Sev rooting. (And even the both rooting) but you'll just have to hang on to see where all that's going.

Rosalba- H/D- well, when you consider all the issues they got, it's got to get worse before it can get better. They have a lot to confront. What happens next depends on how they deal with each other and their issues. H/S- whew! You have got some very strong beliefs in that department… But let me tell you something… um, I can't really tell you much. You'll have to wait and see. But, snarkiness will continue. And mentorness to a degree. But even without the no sex promise, something's got to happen after Harry's discovery. And it could be a million things (from Harry being uncomfortable to steamy snogging sessions…) but I'm not going to say what. Glad you like the Flamels, and glad you love Ginny's extra pep-up. I was glad of how cool she was in OotP, and just had to build on that. And glad I was IC with the betrayal. Gotta love Malfoy… he's so… … … something, anyway. Thanks for the review! Thanks for sharing your POV.

Rowenna- ooh, yes. Okay, the Philosopher's Stone was destroyed, but Nicolas and Perenelle had been drinking the Elixir of life for a good several hundred years- the new and improved Elixir of Life that Perenelle designed returned them to their youth. So, even with the stone destroyed, and even if they are already out of Elixir (which they haven't told me, one way or the other), they're still only in their late 20s, early 30s physical age-wise, so they still get to grow old before they die. Harry had always assumed that they'd be old and white-haired like Dumbledore, and just took it for granted that they would die right after the stone was destroyed, which is why he was so surprised that not only were they alive, but young as well.

Silent-sounds- Oh, did I forget to say Happy Birthday? I updated that day on purpose- and then forgot to mention it… oops… ;)

Pure Black- thanks!

Verily (chapter 7)- Thanks! And, yes, I had been saving the Serious thing- because you're right, we've all wanted to use it. And thanks for mentioning the pile of Snape line! I was quite proud of that one, actually! You made me giggle.

Emeline- eep! Don't go crazy! Here it is! Here it is!

Driven to insanity- sorry I missed the 'tomorrow' deadline. I did the best I could. But I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I hope you continue to read, even though it is angsty.

Kiki- I love 'em all too! Thanks!

Terence- gasps bows Me love cookies!

Michael16119- Thanks for the beta offer, and thanks for the compliment! I try hard to keep it interesting, glad to know I'm succeeding!

Chris Tsuda- Thanks! And I enjoyed your artwork, by the way. Amazing stuff!


	18. The Calm Before

A/N: Yo! Sorry about the wait, once again. I even rushed my beautiful betas but while I was out of town, tragedy struck, and my parents' internet connection got screwy and I couldn't update, even though the chapter was done, and betaed and all. Boo me.

Anyway, this has been well worth the wait, believe me. I have a feeling I'm going to get positive reviews for this one.

Special thanks to my betas, VirginSuicide and CS Whitewolf, who both put up with me hurrying them along and then not returning their emails for a week. You're both awesome, and I'm lucky to have you!

Peace out,

Kati

X

XIX

XIXIX "The Calm Before" XIXIX

Harry knew that Severus was watching him, and he awoke.

He and Ginny were tangled together in bed, sleeping hard after a difficult week and a half, dreaming each other's dreams. Harry opened his eyes and gazed across at the man who was now so much a part of himself.

"Did you sleep?" he whispered.

"Fifteen hours," said Severus. "Albus called in a substitute for tomorrow as well. I'll return to classes on Monday."

"Has _he_ called?" asked Harry, glancing down at Snape's arm.

"Not yet, but he will."

"Don't go," said Harry calmly, his face impassive. "His trust is fading. It won't be long now before he decides you're not worth the risk. Better that you bow out now."

"It will be no safer. I'll be number one on Death Eater hit lists. Above you, even, since I'm the one with all the information."

Harry smirked. "If they only knew…"

Severus smirked as well.

Harry looked down at Ginny's head resting on his chest, and began to absently stroke her fiery red hair. "But at least we'll know for sure that they are trying to kill you. Anyway, we no longer have need of a spy in Voldemort's inner circle."

It was true. Harry's growing powers were now combined with Severus' skill and control. He, Ginny, and Lupin had spent Thursday together in the cottage, trying to sort through the mess of Harry's mind. But they had also done a few experiments, and found that one of the more useful side effects of his possession of Severus was that Harry had gained all of his knowledge and will power. They were planning to wait a few days to test his Legilimency powers on Voldemort, but Harry was quite sure that after he got his memories sorted out, there would be no stopping him.

Voldemort's time as Dark Lord was limited.

"It appears your possession of me has made my skills superfluous," said Severus through his smirk.

Harry's eyes were sharp; his face was hard. "Your skills would be put to better use helping me, rather than _flouncing about_ playing double agent."

Severus' smirk nearly broke into a smile. He choked down his laughter. "Flouncing about?"

Harry regarded him smoothly.

Severus bowed his head slightly. "I'll speak with the headmaster."

"Good."

They sat silently for some time.

Eventually, Severus said quietly, "Harry, I believe we will have quite a few things to discuss…"

"Not now, though, Sev," Harry replied quickly. "I don't need any apologies or explanations or justifications. I remember these things like they're my own memories. I'm beginning to be able to differentiate them, but…" He looked up to the ceiling as though it might have the words he was looking for. "I accept what happened in your life the same way I accept what happened in my life. I don't like all of it, but I understand it—as well as you do, at least."

Severus nodded.

"I'm going to try the pensieve tomorrow. Will you be there?"

"What would you prefer?"

"Just the two of us. Ginny won't like it. But you didn't sign on as her twin, and it's personal. Anyway, she's missed too much class this week. Her OWLS are coming up soon and—"

"Is that you talking, or me?"

Harry shrugged and sighed. "It's hard to tell just now."

"I'm glad you're back, Harry."

"Me too, Sev."

XIXIX

Ginny returned to the Gryffindor common room Friday morning, and was immediately attacked by Ron and Hermione.

"What happened!"

"Where were you!"

"Is Harry okay!"

"Disappearing like that—!"

"GUYS!" Ginny shouted. Ron and Hermione paused, startled by her tone. "Harry's okay. He'll be back soon enough. I can't tell you anymore right now, but it's true enough that Harry is in hiding for his own safety. And he's safe."

Ron looked Ginny hard in the eye, and Ginny knew that he could tell something was different. "Something happened," he said.

Ginny glanced around the common room at all the faces of people pretending they weren't listening. "Yeah," she admitted. "But now is not the time to talk about it. I'm going to go shower, and I'll see you at breakfast, okay?"

Hermione cocked her head to one side, and took on the dismissive air of someone discussing a shopping list. "Okay. We've all got a break this afternoon. We'll talk then."

Ron's eyes widened as he looked between the two young women. "Hermione, you can't be serious! Harry's gone for almost two weeks. Then Ginny disappears for two days and you're willing to wait until this afternoon to find out what happened?"

Hermione turned to him with a scowl and hissed, "Ron, snap out of it! Ginny's not trying to shield us from any truths like Dumbledore might! She says Harry's okay, so Harry is okay. That's good enough for now. We'll talk this afternoon."

She turned on her heel and headed for the portrait door. As she opened it, she turned back and looked at Ron pointedly. "Are you coming?" she demanded.

Ron slumped his shoulders, his jaw slack. He took a step toward Hermione, but then turned back to Ginny. "Why is that whenever I talk to you and Hermione I always feel like I'm missing something?"

Ginny grinned wryly. "Because you're a boy and you don't pay attention. Now go. Hermione's waiting."

Ron shook his head and left with Hermione. Ginny went upstairs to get ready for the day. She still didn't think she should have left Harry so soon, but he had been adamant that he be alone with Professor Snape while he sieved through his new memories. They would call her if something went wrong. She was sure of that because, if for no other reason, she would know anyway.

It was just as well. She had a few things to sort through herself. She knew that Hermione had seen with a look that Ginny needed time, and was probably explaining it to Ron right then. Honestly, he was just as oblivious as Harry sometimes.

Ginny sighed as she stepped into the shower. In a lot of ways, she was just as much a mess as he was. Part of her was still in love with Harry, but another at least equally strong part of her felt like he was kin. It was a strange sensation, and she could only hope at this point that her romantic interests would pass with time, because the twin bond surely wouldn't.

She had also absorbed a lot of Harry into herself, and in consequence, a lot of Professor Snape as well. The memory transfer that she and Harry had undergone as part of their bonding was not nearly as strong as what happened to Harry when he possessed the Potions Master. It was more like memory glances, distinctions, and feelings of self. It broke her heart how mixed up Harry was just now. She wondered again where Harry ended and Severus Snape began.

But one thing was for sure—he had changed. She could feel it. It wasn't all for better, but it wasn't all for worse. Ginny hoped that he would be able to find and hold onto what it was that made him essentially Harry.

The common room was empty; everyone had already headed down for breakfast. Ginny kept feeling small pangs of grief that she was pretty sure were coming from Harry. He must have already gotten to work with the pensieve.

XIXIX

"Shouldn't I keep those days they tortured you, though?"

Severus looked up from the empty pensieve, startled. "Why?"

Harry shifted in his seat to meet the pair of eyes he felt he was looking through. He hadn't expected Severus to question him on something that seemed to be self-evident. "Why didn't _you_ sieve it out?" he asked.

"Because I wanted to remind myself of what I've come through."

Harry shrugged. "That's a good reason. You're stronger with your convictions because of the pain in your past."

Severus took a deep breath, and Harry knew what was coming. "Harry, I'm bitter and distrustful because of the pain in my past. You don't want to add that to your personality, trust me."

Harry glared at him. "Sev, we don't have time to waste playing _Let's Make Sure Harry Had a Nice Childhood_. We've got to be logical in our approach to this. Now, if I'm going to beat Voldemort, it would stand to reason that I hold onto your knowledge of him, right?"

"Yes, but—"

"And that includes your memories of serving him, right?"

"Yes, Harry, but—"

"Well, that includes years of torturing and killing other people, and all of your reasons behind those deeds. If I don't also hold onto the memories that _define_ why you turned from him, where will that leave me?"

The two glared at each other, and for once, Harry was sure that he could win against Severus in a battle of wills. Severus narrowed his eyes further.

"Harry," he said, speaking slowly, "Those memories also define _me_. I understand the useful value of holding onto certain knowledge, but I am telling you that you are running the risk of losing yourself in the process."

"And I'm telling you that now is not the time to worry about that."

Severus reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. "There are other things to consider than simply what is useful knowledge and what isn't."

"With war coming to a head, you think I should worry about becoming too 'Snape-like'?"

Severus scoffed. "With war coming to a head, you should worry about your own sanity!" Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance. Severus tried a different tactic. "As a student at this school, you should not have access to my memories of being a teacher."

Harry started to argue, but Severus cut him off, "You may keep my knowledge of potions, which may very well come in handy, but you may _not_ know what to expect from my tests. Nor should you know my observations or opinions of other students."

Harry nodded, conceding the point. "Just as well… I don't know how I'd _ever_ look Neville in the eye again." Seeing his friend from the perspective of the Potions Master was _quite_ a different experience than what Harry was used to.

Severus closed his eyes for a long moment before continuing. "Harry, those few days were by far the worst days of my life. I have spent much of the last seventeen years coming to terms with what happened to me during those days. If you cut out the fourteen years of my memory of being a teacher, that will set you back into a time when my grief over being tortured was reckless. If you lose yourself in that mess, you will be endangering yourself, and that is folly."

Harry thought back to Severus, aged nineteen to twenty-three. He conducted his affairs with a cold, harsh demeanor that bordered on brutal. His breakdowns tended to be in private after times of high stress, but there were some close calls. His calculating cruelty held him together as a spy. His obsessive repression pushed him through his Masters in Potions studies.

But at the time, he was not the cool, collected Potions Master that Harry knew. He was a tumultuous jigsaw of fragments, glued together underneath a carefully composed mask—an exaggeration of the turmoil Harry felt whenever he grasped at the memory of himself through the overriding prominence of his memory of being Severus Snape.

"Okay," said Harry mildly. "But I'm holding onto the memories of him torturing you since you became a spy this time around. That way I can maintain myself, but still have memories of worse pain to offer me strength while we're battling."

"Harry—" said Severus, his voice tight with exasperation.

Harry sighed and reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a long day if they had to argue over every single memory. When he didn't hear Severus continue, he opened his eyes to find Severus regarding him with a raised eyebrow, and Harry became aware he was emulating Severus' mannerisms.

With a slight scowl to show he knew what Severus was thinking, he slumped into his seat, slouching like a teenager. Then he looked up and defiantly tried for his old goofy grin, but it felt strange on his face. He wrinkled his nose like he had a bad taste in his mouth, and sighed in defeat. Maybe he was lost in Severus' memories.

But then Severus laughed, and with the surge of happiness brought by that accomplishment, Harry was able to offer a much more genuine grin.

"See? Still a happy young sixteen-year-old!" said Harry in a slightly ironic tone.

Severus smiled. "Let's keep it that way, eh?"

Harry leaned forward and touched his wand to his temple, but then stopped. He knew it was unreasonable, but he felt a minor wave of panic at the thought of erasing years from his memory. "Sev, promise me you won't destroy these memories just yet."

"_I_ still have them," said Severus, tapping his own temple with his forefinger.

"You know what I mean."

Severus looked at Harry kindly. "This pensieve is yours. I am merely guarding it so long as you are a student and it holds memories that originated in my life. But I would not dream of tampering with _your_ pensieve."

Harry decided not to respond to the obvious referral to their last encounter over a pensieve filled with Severus' memories. He once again raised his wand to his temple, and noticed that his hands were shaking. He reached forward and clasped Severus' right hand in his left, took a deep breath, and began pulling out memories.

It was a strange sensation to pull your thoughts out of your head. Harry started with the worst. He conceptualized days of being tortured, and then pulled with his wand. The thoughts, previously interwoven with the entire mesh of his two lives, began to untangle and slip away. And then, with one last tug and a _snap_, they were gone. Harry dropped the long, silver thread into the pensieve and watched with a hallowed awe as it slipped and swirled in nearly liquid wisps.

Severus squeezed his hand, and Harry realized he had tears in his eyes. He looked up.

"How should I go about sieving your teaching career?"

Severus furrowed his brow. "I never tried it with anything so expansive."

"Should I break it down then?"

"I suppose."

"How about… early years… and… the-hell-that-became-of-my-life-after-The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die-enrolled-as-a-student?"

Severus raised both eyebrows and nodded slightly. "Sounds reasonable," he said lightly.

Harry laughed. Then, turning back to the pensieve, he concentrated on the years of teaching prior to his other self becoming a student. He thought of tests, and grading homework, and intimidating students in class, and cauldrons blowing up as inept morons completely lacking the ability to follow directions or pay attention to detail attempted to brew even the simplest of potions.

He tried to pull years of teaching into a single concept; then slowly began to pull at it with his wand. The unraveling of his thoughts was dizzying. He felt unsteady as a huge chunk of himself began to slip away. He squeezed Severus' hand to anchor himself, and felt his will strengthen. With one final tug, and a mind-numbing _SNAP_, Harry's early teaching career dropped to the pensieve, and Harry dropped to the floor, vomiting on the rug.

XIXIX

When he came to, he was back in bed. He pulled himself up and looked around the cottage bedroom. He was alone, but the orange door was closed which meant that he was not alone in the house.

He could feel Ginny's worry for him, quickly covered over by relief when she felt him wake up. Harry was reassured by her presence with him, even over distances as vast as from Hogwarts to Brazil. He couldn't help but smile.

He found his glasses on the bedside table, kicked back the covers, and stumbled into the living room. Severus was lounging in a chair, reading. He looked up when Harry came in.

"Are you hungry?"

Harry nodded, running his fingers through his hair groggily. Severus closed his book and swept into the kitchen. Harry followed, sliding into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Well, that was a lesson. How long was I out?"

"Only a few hours. I sent word to your unbearably over-protective twin before she had a chance to storm down here and blow our cover."

"I thought this place was protected by the Fidelius Charm," said Harry, leaning weakly over the table.

"It is. But current rumor holds that you were swept far away from Hogwarts. Last I heard, the Dark Lord is surveilling the auror training camps. If Ms. Weasley were to come banging on the door to my quarters, demanding to see you, it would surely raise suspicions among the Slytherins as to your location—particularly the suspicions of one Mr. Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" asked Harry, watching Severus conduct the symphony of pans and slicing vegetables and cooking meats.

"Yes, he's been watching Ms. Weasley quite closely since you disappeared, trying to get clues as to your status and location."

Harry groaned and put his head on the table. "Oh Merlin. How the hell am I going to face him again?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?" he asked.

"You could say that," said Harry, sitting back in his chair. "Ginny hates him. She'll kill me if I give him another chance."

"Twin bonds prevent against causing the other harm," said Severus sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, Ginny's crafty," muttered Harry. "She'll find a way."

Severus walked over with a salad and pumpkin juice. "But why would you give him another chance?" he asked evenly.

Harry gulped down the pumpkin juice, feeling a bit of his energy return to him. His mouth salivated with the smells of cooking food. He began to stuff his mouth with his salad.

Severus sneered at him. "How is it that you gained all of my knowledge and memories, but somehow failed to acquire my good table manners?"

Harry paused and looked up, his mouth full. "Noboszy's purfext," he said.

Severus looked away. "Disgusting," he spat.

Harry swallowed hard, choking down his laughter. He continued to eat his salad at a much calmer rate as Severus finished preparing his meal. He laid the food on the table and sat across from Harry, who carefully filled his plate in the most socially acceptable manner possible.

"You're not eating?" he asked.

"I ate an hour ago."

Harry nodded, and set to enjoying his meal. Severus was watching him, and Harry knew he was still waiting for an answer. He shifted in his seat and said as though there had been no pause since the question, "Because I know him well, and I care about him."

Severus closed his eyes for a moment. "Harry, are you confusing our memories?"

Harry thought before he answered. "No. I cared about him before. He's told me a good deal about his life, and he's shown me what I believe to be his true self. One of them, at any rate." He took another bite as he tried to figure out how to say what he meant. "I believe that he did not intentionally betray me. I think that when he told his father about Ginny, he was trying to protect me, in his own fucked up way."

Harry felt a bit disappointed that Severus did not react to his attempt at humor, but he didn't show it. He continued, "The way he talks to me when we're alone—I always suspected, and your memories of teaching him Legilimency confirmed, his feelings for me are among the most genuine feelings he's ever had. He's still Malfoy. I don't know if I can trust him—_you _don't know if I can trust him—but I feel compelled to give him one last chance, to let him know what the stakes are, and to let him prove himself."

Harry and Severus held each other's eye for a long time, but neither of them used Legilimency. They had an unspoken agreement not to mess with their link at least until Harry's mind was sorted out.

Harry thought about the feelings Severus had for him. When he possessed him, those feeling were locked so tightly that he had to fight to get to them, and he knew Severus at least _had been_ unaware of them. As he looked into the black eyes that were currently as unreadable as his own, he wondered if the past two weeks had made any difference. But he knew he would never ask.

"That is your choice," said Severus finally. "But I nonetheless encourage you to sieve out my memories of my godson, as they could be confusing to you in this regard."

"Duly noted," said Harry. "I don't really want memories of changing his diapers, anyway."

Severus' face was hard, and Harry knew he was struggling not to smile. He turned back to his meal.

Eventually, Severus continued. "I also think you should sieve the memories of the Marauders."

Harry looked up, waiting for an explanation.

Severus held his eye and said levelly, "I know you have precious few memories of your father and his friends, but I doubt those are memories you should keep. I think it would be better if you had fewer memories, but were able to continue to love them."

Harry nodded once, and said slowly, "I'm also going to sieve your romantic interest in my parents." He paused, and then said, "It's awkward."

Severus nodded once and opened his mouth, but then closed it again. The room was suddenly very thick with tension. Harry laid down his fork and knife.

They looked at each other for a long moment, and Harry knew that Severus was trying to decide if he should say it out loud, or just hope for an unspoken understanding. After a long pause, he said slowly in a voice that was barely a whisper, "And my feelings for you?"

Harry felt himself flush, and he remembered how he used to get embarrassed rather easily, and how he had always worn his emotions on his sleeve. He looked away.

"I'll leave the final decision to you—for this conversation as well… But I would like to keep that." He dropped his voice, and cursed himself inwardly for proclaiming his embarrassment by blushing so much. "It's selfish, really. I have very few memories of being cared for. It's nice."

Severus regarded him in silence, and then said, "Okay."

XIXIX

They spent the weekend in the cottage sorting through the mess of Harry's mind, trying to strike a balance between Severus' knowledge and will, and Harry's sense of self. It occurred to Harry that this must be a trying, if not completely humiliating, experience for Severus—sorting through and discussing the 'useful value' of each memory.

But if it bothered him at all, Severus never once let on. He sat tirelessly through long hours of sieving, talking Harry through the shifts in his self-perception and trying to find a way to maintain his own skill level in Harry with the fewest "bad memories" as possible.

Dumbledore, Ginny, and Madam Pomfrey each made periodic visits. There was a full moon this weekend, so Lupin had moved to another location. Harry knew, judging by the concern his visitors showered upon him, that Lupin would not be at all happy that he had to be absent from Harry during this weekend. But Harry also knew that after sieving certain memories, he would like Lupin much better when he returned than when Harry had first awoken.

At Ginny's urging, Harry wrote Ron and Hermione a note saying that he missed them terribly, but that he was okay, and he would explain everything when he returned, which would probably be on Monday.

Whenever Ginny would come in, she and Harry would sit down and discuss everything that had happened while they were separated. During their first visit, Harry noticed that Dumbledore was barely able to conceal his mirth and Severus was barely able to conceal his annoyance. He finally asked what the problem was, to which Severus replied with a scowl, "You are speaking your twin gibberish."

Dumbledore went on to explain that Harry and Ginny had apparently already developed a twin language—a feat that took most twins years to accomplish. They seemed to slip into twin language whenever they discussed things that were personal between the two of them. Harry and Ginny couldn't tell the difference.

Monday morning, when Harry walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, Hermione nearly bowled him over, hugging him fiercely. Ron slapped him on the back with a huge smile, relief very evidently washed over him. The other Gryffindors, as well as members of the DA from other Houses (except for Slytherin) also crowded around and greeted him warmly, asking him where he had been, how was his training, and was he ready to kick You-Know-Who's arse?

Harry laughed and talked lightly, trying to remember not to shield his happiness too much since that was what Severus did, not what Harry Potter did. But it was strange to come back to school. The students seemed so young, even his friends, and Harry knew that with Severus' knowledge his classes would be a breeze if not dreadfully boring.

But he understood the necessity of remaining in school. Not only would it help to maintain the pretense that Harry was just a normal sixteen-year-old (so that Voldemort would underestimate him), but he would also still need to take his NEWTs next year if he was to pursue a career in the wizarding world after the war was over and he graduated.

He looked across the Great Hall and caught Malfoy's eye and gave him a significant look. Then he sat down to breakfast with his friends, resuming the life of Harry Potter.

During Potions class, he laughed at a mumbled joke Ron told him, and Snape promptly gave him detention, yelling at him for his lack of respect.

After dinner, he locked himself, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny in his dorm room, and told them everything—everything he could remember, at least. His mind was still rather muddled, far more muddled than he had anticipated, in fact. He was thinking now that it might potentially be weeks before he felt confident enough with his mental abilities to return to Voldemort's head. But with Severus' knowledge and skill, he felt confident that he would have far superior control of his powers.

"It's all going to be over soon," he told them. "But for now, while I sort out this mess in my head, we need to work with the prophecies. Ginny told me that you spent the last two weeks charting and cross-referencing them?"

Ron and Hermione nodded. Hermione said, "It's extensive, but a lot of it is also very vague."

Harry furrowed his brow. "We'll work on that and see what we can come up with. We also need to figure out how the hell I'm going to vanquish Voldemort. I don't think we should rely solely on the prophecies for that, especially if they are so vague."

"Harry," said Ron, "No one is going to send you to Azkaban for using the Killing Curse on Voldemort. But even if you can't because of your scar—your link or whatever—there are still plenty of ways to kill a wizard."

"Right," said Harry, "But last time he was killed, his soul lived on. I don't want to have to do this every couple decades for the rest of my life. We need to find a way to destroy his soul—or banish him or something."

Hermione made a face like she was going to be sick. "I've been researching that for months," she admitted. "I haven't been able to find anything so far. We're going to need access to the Restricted Section for that, I think."

"Then we'll get access to the Restricted Section," said Harry.

Hermione looked down. "Harry… it's quite possible we're only going to find something among dark magic texts."

Harry nodded. "I know. But first of all, Ron's right. No one would send me to Azkaban for using an Unforgivable Curse against Voldemort. I'm sure there would be no legal repercussions for destroying him with dark magic. But as far as my own morality…" he sighed deeply, remembering his life as a Death Eater spy, "Magic is inherently neutral. It's how you use it that makes it light or dark. Any spell I use to destroy Voldemort, body and soul, well, you can almost guarantee that it was only used for dark purposes previously. But to use it to destroy the greatest evil of our age—that can't really be considered dark magic. It's worth the risk."

They sat in a thick silence, each knowing the risks that accompanied the use of dark magic—the corruption of your soul, the hardening of your heart. They looked to each other, silently agreeing that it was, indeed, worth the risk.

Finally, Harry said, "I have something else to tell you."

Ginny felt his slight sting of embarrassment, and looked up sharply. "Harry, no!" She knew what was coming.

Harry looked at her sadly, and continued. "At Severus' request, I've been reading the Slytherins for several weeks. Many of them are looking for an 'out' so that they don't have to follow Voldemort. I'm going to offer it to them."

Ron nodded reasonably, but Hermione looked at him suspiciously. "There's more, isn't there?" she asked, and Harry nodded.

"I'm starting tonight with my ex-boyfriend," he said quickly.

"Your ex-boyfriend is a _Slytherin_!" choked Ron. Hermione's eyes had doubled in size.

Harry paused a moment, carefully avoiding Ginny's eye. "He's Draco Malfoy."

Silence followed, and Harry wondered what would happen next.

It was Ginny. "You're going back to him, aren't you," she said evenly. It was not a question.

"Yes," said Harry, turning to look at her, to soak in the fury and pain of betrayal and rejection. But her face was inexpressive, and to Harry, that was worse.

She stood up and walked out.

Harry followed her, but she swept swiftly down the stairs, across the common room, and up the stairs of the girls' dormitory. Harry rested his head against the doorway to the stairs, trying to capture Ginny's feelings, but unable. She didn't seem to be able to distinguish her own feelings, herself.

'I'm sorry, Ginny,' he thought to her. 'I love him.'

'I know,' she thought back, and Harry was suddenly aware that she was crying. 'Give him another chance,' she thought, and Harry knew she understood his reasons, even though they had never discussed them. 'But be careful, and give me some time.'

Harry stood there against the wall, feeling dejected. Then he felt Hermione pulling on him, and he turned around and hugged her closely. Ron was standing behind her.

"She hates him even more than you guys," said Harry with a weak smile.

"He reported to his father about the twin bond?" asked Hermione softly.

Harry nodded. "He hates her too, I guess."

Hermione patted his back and whispered, "It's hard being with someone your friends hate."

Ron shifted uncomfortably.

XIXIX

Harry made his way down to the lake, this time without his invisibility cloak. He saw Malfoy standing under the beech tree, watching him approach. When he drew near, he could see the careful smirk, the guarded eyes, the pale glow of moonlight on his blonde hair.

Harry abandoned all pretences. He strode forward and grabbed Malfoy up in a powerful embrace and kissed him passionately. Malfoy froze for a second, but then responded, pulling Harry against him, clinging to him desperately.

"Potter," he gasped, "Where were you?"

"Away," breathed Harry, tugging at Malfoy's robes, pulling them off. Malfoy responded in kind, flinging Harry's robes into the grass.

They dropped to the ground, discarding clothing as they went.

"I thought something had happened," said Malfoy into Harry's neck.

"Something did." Harry rolled on top of the blonde, running his hands across the smooth skin, dragging his nails just slightly. Kissing him deeply, he slid in between Malfoy's legs, rubbing their bodies together, feeling the heat flowing between them.

"I need you," he whispered deeply into Malfoy's ear as he slid himself in, pushing forward slowly, gently. "Tell me this is real," he said, grazing his teeth across Malfoy's throat, clutching at him underneath his shoulders. "I need you to tell me this is real."

Malfoy rocked underneath him, clawing at Harry's back. "I missed you," he whispered desperately.

"Tell me," pleaded Harry, pulling against him, squeezing him close, their bodies pressed together until he couldn't tell where he ended and Malfoy began. "Say it, Malfoy."

"Potter," he gasped, trembling as Harry thrust into him again and again.

"Say it!" Harry was only just holding on.

"This is real," he whispered, and they shuddered against each other, coming together, burying themselves in each other.

"This is real."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Do I cater to my fans?

Yes, yes I do.

Thank you for reading! Please review!

CS Whitewolf: Thank you, chickie! And as far as Harry's "no longer as expressive" eyes go, he's just absorbed a Snape into him. Must… fight… scowl… And no cupboards for Harry and Draco- horny boys with issues will find a way to fuck, you know? Thanks once again!

Riantlykalopsic: Eep! Wow! Thank you!

Pat2: Blushing furiously here! My mom always said I wrote like a punch in the gut. But I still can't believe it when people tell me how much my writing affects them. So really, thank you very much for saying so, and for telling me what hits you most about the story, and for sending other readers my way! I love getting reviews, but reviews like that are just, wow. Thank you. And this story's got a few more good twists left in it- I hop you enjoy those as well.

LadyLilyPotter: yay! Thank you. And as for "after effects" of the bond… um… just keep reading. (heehee)

Wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon: Here! Here! Take it!

SheWolfe7- Thank you! The answers are coming (well, more answers- you kind of know Draco's reaction to Harry being gone, now)

Wintermoon2: Yo, yo! Thank you again! And I've thought of something you can do for me, and I'm going to request it here while I'm thinking of it. Send me your address so I can send you the stuff for your paper. Or is it too late?

Yuki Kurai: Ooh, Virginia, yes. Hmm, here's the deal. I couldn't remember while I was writing, and my lovely beta CS Whitewolf pointed it out to me, but we both agreed that we like Genevieve better. Can you live with me for changing that bit of cannon? Please? I promise, I'm normally really good about fixing mistakes like that… I just want to keep this one. And thanks for telling me! And thanks for reading!

Slice: Hey, Damn Woman here. And here's what I got to say to you: um, thank you. And no! My story is not going to get so complicated that Sev sleeps with Ginny (and I'm sorry, but, ew!) Complications from here on out will probably deal more with the war than with relationships. Not to say there won't be relationship complications- there will be quite a few- but even though I love them both, Severus will never ever ever ever ever ever ever sleep with Ginny Weasley in this story. Ever.

Headphone therapy- I daresay you liked this chapter a bit better than the last, yes? And about the Genevieve thing… sure! He was kidding. Sometimes my family members call me Katherine even though Kati is long for Kate. But I've already spoken, and unless there is a huge fan uprising, Ginny will continue to have been called Genevieve in Chapter 17. Although I really don't think it's going to come up again. One time only Genevieve-ness, it was.

Elebereth- Thank you, and keep reading and find out! Yay!

Isis-mystic: Thank you. And Harry didn't talk to Draco at all because he was in a coma. And while I did splurge and give some other perspectives in Chapter 17, I'm not going to do that with Draco in this story because he has to stay somewhat of an unknown. It keeps Harry angsty, and the story interesting. If we knew what he was thinking too, it would get boring.

DracoLuciusLover: Woohoo! Thank you! And um, you don't "love" Draco and Lucius at the same time, do you?

Nemati: Thank you!

Dragonphly: Not too nice. I think he's just going for decency. Because you're right. Harry could at least match Draco, if not ground him to nothingness. Glad you like!

Terence: Yay! Cookies galore! And agreed. Draco/Harry rocks.

B: (screams) It was an accident! I didn't mean to blow anybody the fuck away! (tears shed) B was so nice.

Shania Maxwell- Wow! Thank you!

Kat- You like Ginny and the angst love of H/D, AND you said "wibbles" You rock.

Relle- Bad dog! No growling at Ginny! Go sit in the corner! And happy birthday. Snape says so too.

Rowenna: Hmm, I hope you liked this chapter (coughH/DGETTINGSOMEcough) Thank you muchly!

Katy Kinneas: Don't cry. I will not discontinue this. I may wait a bit before I start the sequel, but this will be a complete story in it's own right, so don't worry 'bout that. Tell your parents I'm sorry I made them worry… um… something like that… anyway, yes, I am so very glad that you like my story!

Roxa- Here it is. More to come!

Pure Black- Harry shut him out of his mind. He tried as soon as Harry went under and Sev realized that it was not a magical coma and that Harry was therefore still capable of magic, but the couldn't use the link until Harry wanted to at the end- Harry's more powerful than he is- there just wasn't much he could do.

Mi Su- Okay, they're on shagging terms again. All is right with the world.

Silent-sounds: More with Draco in it. Gotcha.

Anon.- Eep! Wow! Thanks!

Stiffo2004: Yay! Two day reader! Thank you! Okay, in answer to your questions, Yes, Draco/Harry still exist and, hmm, maybe, Harry might fall in love with someone else. You'll really have to ask him about that- he's not telling me; Um, I'm not sure if he's the actual heir of the founders, or just has their abilities. It's not really important to my story- so take it however you like it. Thanks for reading!

Emiline: You don't like them romantically or as twins? And really, what is it with people hating Ginny so vehemently? I don't get it! Ginny rocks! But thank you for reading!

Beth- Hey. I emailed you, and I meant it. You really did make my night with that review. Even now, very happy to re-read it. Again. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. "the whole i love you i have to pretend i hate you i betrayed you but not on purpose and i really just want to get in your pants" is the best summation of their relationship I've heard. And your expectations for the future- I can't say that they will be perfectly fulfilled, but I can say, based on everything you had to say about the story's past, that you will be very happy as you read on. Really, I can't tell you how much your review touched me- knowing how much you were affected in those four hours of reading my story- it's an amazing feeling, and you rock for making me feel it! Thank you.

Jaime- Cruel, am I? Well maybe I'll just go back and edit out that last scene of this chapter then, eh? What do you think about that? No play for Harry and Draco. Feel good about your name-calling now?... Who am I kidding? It's an idle threat. I'm gonna keep writing. More H/D to come…

Riley Cat: Yay! Thank you! I love Sev, myself. He's a complete person in my head. And the more I read on the more I like the Slytherins, and want them to be real people too. I'm also digging more on the Harry/Sev pairing, but I stand by my words of no sex for them this story. But no promises beyond.

Brenna8: Gah! Here! Read it read it read it!

Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: Ew! You threw up! Do you want Sev to make you a stomach settling potion? Because he'd do that for you, you know. But that's a great point you made. Bond with Ginny. Bond with Sevvie. No bond with Draco, but they're still getting play. Hmm… makes you think, huh?

Tygrressatheart- Eep- Here! It's yours! Read it! Enjoy it! More to come, and from what you're wanting, I'd say you'll like it!

Mayhem El-Diablo (chapter 8)- Thanks! Enjoy your dinner!

Mayhem El-Diablo (chapter 15)- Thanks! Enjoy shopping!

Mayhem El-Diablo (chapter 17)- Thanks! Enjoy falling off the chair! Oh, ahem, I mean, er, glad you liked it. More to come, so I hope you continue to enjoy it!

Nation El-Diablo- Hey, are you related to Mayhem? Anyway, thanks!

Hayley- Well of course he is a real character. Cute too. Bit of a bully, but human underneath. You know how it is.

Takuto-kun- Really, though, what is it with people not liking Ginny? Bothering me. But I'm glad you like the story, and I too am a fan of legilimency. It's neat.


	19. Choosing Allies

A/N: Hello! And welcome to another fun-filled installment of A Boy, Lost! For this Chapter, it would be good of you, gentle reader, to note that I made up my own little lore about the American Magic Government. First of all, it wouldn't be a Ministry, because we don't do 'Ministries' here. So it's a Government- a democratic republic, to be exact. But actually, it's not really _A_ Government. It's five. Over here, we have five magical governments—in the South, the Southwest, the Northeast, the Midwest, and the West. I decided upon this because, in my limited travel in the US, I've noted that we do business very differently in different parts of the country. So I split up the magic accordingly. Also, 150 years ago when the South said they wanted to secede- the North said, "Fine. Be gone with ye!" At least the magical government did- they thought the whole "Civil War" thing was a bit silly, and didn't much concern them, actually. The North (which later became the Northeast) moved their capital from DC to Salem, Massachusetts. I have way more lore up in my head- but that's really all you need for this chapter, and quite possibly, for the whole story. So that's all I'm going to tell you. But feel free to let me know if you are dying with questions, comments, or criticisms.

X

XIX

XIXIX "Choosing Allies" XIXIX

"Potter, wake up."

Harry roused at the soft whispering and the gentle shaking of his arm. He sat bolt upright when it suddenly occurred to him that he was lying naked on naught but his robe in the grass by the lake.

"Shit! What time is it?" he asked slightly panicked as he scrambled for his scattered clothes.

Malfoy chuckled. "Relax. It's only about 1:00. But I was about to fall asleep too, so I figured we'd best head in if we didn't want to risk being found here in the morning."

Harry paused, casting Malfoy a suspicious grin. "What—did you just sit here while I slept for two hours?"

Malfoy looked down and away, and Harry could have sworn he was blushing. "Well," he said quietly after a pause, "You've never fallen asleep before, so I figured that after… whatever… happened, that you probably needed some rest."

Harry caught Malfoy's chin, turned his face back around and kissed him. "Thanks," he said quietly, looking deep into his eyes. Malfoy gave him a small smile, which Harry returned. Then he said, "But you shouldn't have let me sleep. I wanted to actually _talk_ to you tonight, too."

Malfoy grinned. "'Bout what, Potter?"

"Er…" Harry sat back. He wasn't exactly sure how to start this conversation. He knew where it needed to go. He just wasn't sure how to get there without being somewhat… insulting. For instance, 'Who's side are you on, anyway?' just might rub Malfoy the wrong way.

"Well, here's the thing," he said. "Um… The war is coming to a head. I'm sure you realize that, right?"

Malfoy nodded, his gaze suddenly serious.

"Well, I'm kind of _automatically_ on one side, and your family ties kind of push you to be on the other."

"You don't trust me!" shot Malfoy accusingly, his eyes narrowing slightly.

Harry was silent for a moment. "Malfoy," he began slowly, "You told me that night in Se—Snape's storeroom that you didn't support Voldemort. You just stayed alive. I need to know what that means for us."

Malfoy looked quite angry. "You know bloody well what it means," he said. "It means I live a double life or else I'm tortured like a traitor."

"And I sympathize. Really, I do. But I need to know that when it comes down to it, you're going to be on my side and not your father's. I know that's a lot for me to ask, but things are getting worse. The stakes are getting higher. You can call it selfish, and I might even agree, but I'm preparing to go up against Voldemort. And I can't help but feel that the fate of the entire wizarding world depends on the outcome. I just don't have time to worry about this. I don't want to leave it up to chance. I want to know."

Malfoy looked at Harry for some time as though searching him for answers. But Harry could tell he wasn't attempting Legilimency. Finally, he said simply, "You've changed."

Harry nodded, his eyes serious as well. "Yes, I have."

"What happened while you were gone? Where were you?"

Harry shook his head slowly, and said nothing.

"Are you okay, at least?" asked Malfoy.

Harry paused. "Yes."

"There's no middle ground, is there?"

Harry almost laughed, thinking, 'Not when you're shagging the savior of the wizarding world, there isn't.' But he just said, "No."

Malfoy was quiet for some time. Finally, he said, "I saw you, that day, during the DA battle. You ceased all the magic around you for like a ten-foot radius. No one else seemed to realize what happened, and I couldn't imagine how dense everyone else had to have been to have missed that." He sighed. "I know you're a lot more powerful than you put on, Potter. But the last time I asked you if you really thought you could beat Voldemort, you didn't sound so sure of yourself."

"And you betrayed me and Ginny the next day."

Malfoy looked down, ashamed. "I'm sorry," he said.

Harry said nothing.

"Look, if you were just asking me to stand against Voldemort, I'd announce to the school tomorrow that I think he's just a filthy mudblood. But to stand against my father… Potter, I would need to go into hiding because he really would kill me, I think, if I stood against him. That would be devastating to him. It's pride. It's family pride, and I'd be turning my back on who I am. I'd be turning my back on my family. Maybe all you see of my father is a Death Eater, but he's _my father_! We're bound by blood… and love, even. I can't just… It's a lot that you're asking."

Harry nodded, and reached over and took Malfoy's hand in his. "I don't need to know tonight," he said. "But I do need to know, whatever the answer."

XIXIX

Hermione and Ron were bickering about Transfiguration homework when Ginny slid into the seat across from Harry in the Great Hall. Next to her, Neville looked up from his breakfast and exclaimed, "Ginny! You are positively glowing this morning! Have a good night, did we?"

Ginny turned bright red and looked down at her plate. All of the sudden, Harry was hit with a huge shock of her embarrassment and turned an even brighter shade of red when he realized that she was experiencing _his_ afterglow from last night.

He gulped down his pumpkin juice, thinking to her, 'Did you feel… everything?'

'No!' she snapped mentally, 'Not everything, anyway, but can we drop it?'

Harry put down his glass of pumpkin juice and started to laugh.

"Fuck, Ginny, we need to figure out how to deal with all of this!"

She sneered at him playfully, laughing, "Shut up! I do _not_ want to talk about this at the breakfast table!"

Neville looked back and forth between them with wide eyes, and then hissed, "You two are speaking another language! Are you twins!"

"Oh, damn it!" said Ginny, still smiling and blushing. "That's another thing we have to figure out. Um, Neville dear? Mind keeping another secret for us?"

Neville shook his head, chuckling. "You guys never cease to amaze me." He put his forefinger over his lips and said, "Mum's the word."

Harry looked up as a flutter of wings signaled that the owls had arrived with the morning post. A gray and brown owl dropped a letter on his plate and soared away. Next to Harry, Hermione gave a knut to the owl that delivered her newspaper.

Harry opened his letter and found a hastily scratched note that said simply:

_We're okay. We'll write more when we get a chance._

_Perenelle and Nicolas_

"What the—" began Harry, but just then, Hermione shrieked.

"Harry!" she turned to him, her eyes consumed with fear. "Oh, Merlin, this is awful!"

As Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Neville leaned forward in concern, Harry heard similar reactions from across the Great Hall as various students opened their papers.

Harry looked at a picture of macabre spread fiercely across the front page, and read the headlines:

DEATH EATER ATTACK IN AMERICA—19 DEAD, 67 WOUNDED 

_-You-Know-Who attacks foreign emissaries in apparent plot to kill Boy-Who-Lived_

Harry clutched the note from the Flamels. "Nicolas and Perenelle are okay," he said, his voice numb.

Ginny stared at him, her face horror-struck.

Hermione read aloud, "Terror has seized the United States as a group of at least 50 Death Eaters, along with You-Know-Who himself, laid siege to the Salem, Massachusetts Government Headquarters of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The death squad took the scene by surprise, apparating into a ball being held in honor of Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel, who are traveling the world appealing for aid in the fight against You-Know-Who. Oh no," she added in a whisper.

"The Flamels are reportedly very close to Harry Potter, who left school two weeks ago and went into hiding. Survivors of the attack in Salem claim that You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters were looking for the Boy-Who-Lived. Unfortunately, news that he returned to Hogwarts yesterday morning had not reached them, or perhaps this devastatingly gruesome attack might not have happened." Hermione looked up to him, her eyes wide. "Harry, it's not your fault."

Harry's face was stony while his insides whirled. "Who died?" he asked.

Hermione scanned the article, "Sixty-seven were wounded, including family members of government officials… According to Nymphadora Tonks—good, she's alive—the Flamels' bodyguards, with the help of Government security, were able to drive back the Death Eaters who held the Unicorn Lance Convention Hall, in the upper levels of the government building, under siege for four hours. Three of the bodyguards were killed… oh no!… including Fleur Delacour!"

Ginny gasped, "Oh, no! Bill!" There were tears in her eyes.

"Bloody hell," breathed Ron, aghast.

Hermione was shaking. "I—I can't," she stammered. Neville took the paper from her and continued to scan through it. Hermione buried her head in Harry's chest. Ron stood up and stormed off.

"Five Death Eaters were killed and another seven captured—four of which are in critical condition," continued Neville. "The Flamels, who recently destroyed the only known Sorcerer's Stone, were locked in a high-security room along with Salem Government President Elvira Solaris and several cabinet members. Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel had been in hiding since You-Know-Who's return, with the fear that should he access their knowledge regarding the creation of the Sorcerer's Stone, he would be unstoppable… um…" Neville paused as he turned the newspaper pages.

"Oh! Listen to this. Early reports indicate that this, the worst attack the wizarding world has seen since You-Know-Who's return, has hit the American Governments especially hard. They were not involved in the previous war against You-Know-Who, and were wavering in their decision to join a war so far from their borders. But since the attack yesterday, three of the five Governments have already scheduled a vote, and are appealing to their citizenry to aide the European battle against the 'monstrous Dark Lord capable of such appalling violence'…"

Harry was fingering the locket that Nicolas and Perenelle had given him before they left. He stood up suddenly and turned to the Hall. He wasn't sure if he was surprised or not when the Hall went silent around him. "DA meeting tonight at 7:00," he said very loudly. He made sure to slowly sweep the Slytherin table with his eyes so that they knew they too were included in the invitation. Then he exited the hall, his robes billowing out behind him.

XIXIX

The students seemed to drift through class that day in a shocked sort of stupor. With small attacks happening here and there throughout the United Kingdom, nearly every student knew someone who had been attacked. But thus far, Voldemort had kept to his pattern of "keeping the Ministry busy" with vandalism and mostly non-lethal attacks while the more serious attacks happened on the continent. The fact that the war was now worldwide, and the severity of the pictures and news accounts of the Salem attack, really hit the students hard. A muted fear seemed to have settled over the castle. Many students, rather than doodling or sleeping in their classes, were writing letters to family members and friends far away.

Dumbledore had apparently made an announcement after Harry left breakfast that the students were safe at Hogwarts, and reiterated the necessity of unity once again, but the halls of Hogwarts were unusually quiet as Harry made his way from class to class.

But something else bothered him as well. Ron was missing.

He had disappeared during breakfast, and had not been found in Gryffindor Tower. Nor did he attend any of the day's classes. He had been very obviously upset when he left that morning, but it was unlike him to disappear altogether.

Harry mentioned it to Dumbledore during lunch, but Dumbledore had said very calmly not to worry about Mr. Weasley, and Harry had understood why Snape always appeared to be annoyed whenever Dumbledore spoke.

The sixth-year Gryffindors were very quiet during dinner. Harry, Ginny, and Hermione stared at their plates and picked at their food, silently reminding themselves that Dumbledore had said not to worry. 'But,' Ginny thought bitterly, 'He also said that during Harry's absence, and Harry almost died.'

Harry took her hand and squeezed it. Ginny just stared at her plate.

Then Christopher slid into the seat across from them. "You guys hear about Snape?" he asked quietly.

"What about him?" asked Harry.

"Someone tried to kill him about an hour ago," said Christopher in a dull voice, clearly not enjoying the attempt on his least favorite professor's life.

Harry whipped his head around to the head table, and saw that Severus was missing from his normal seat, as was Dumbledore. He turned around and looked at the Slytherin table, and noticed that only about half of them were at dinner. Malfoy looked at him, his face blank.

"What happened?" Ginny was asking.

"Is he okay?" said Hermione.

"Yeah, he's okay. My friend Daena, in Ravenclaw, told me that her older brother Fabian was in Potions when four Slytherins came in and raised their wands against them—cast _Crucio_ on Snape, and then attacked the class! But it was a Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw class, and most of them are in the DA so four people were really no match for them. It was just kind of a shock because the four Slytherins were all in the DA too. So it wasn't until after they started casting curses that anyone jumped to action."

"Who was it?" asked Harry.

"Well, that's the thing. They thought that it was John and Irving, those seventh year blokes, and Portia and Susannah in fifth year, but apparently, Snape had set up some wards around his Potions lab that nullified the effects of Polyjuice Potion—and within two minutes, they changed into four adult Death Eaters, with Dark Marks and all! But Snape and the class had them down in no time. I don't think anyone was even seriously hurt, except for the Death Eaters. Dumbledore took them to his office and supposedly the Minister himself is here with a team of Aurors."

Harry sat back and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and attempted for the first time since he had regained consciousness to connect to Severus through their link. He found it surprisingly easy, and knew immediately that he was in his quarters with a large group of his students.

He stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Christopher.

"I have to check on a friend," replied Harry. "I'll see you guys at the meeting."

He walked swiftly through the halls and to the dungeons, without stopping to consider what he was doing since he didn't want to think better of it. If Death Eaters were trying to assassinate Severus, the cat was out of the bag—so what would it matter if Harry openly visited his quarters? He wouldn't let his thoughts pass that point. He wouldn't let himself consider _what_ it might matter.

In front of the stone serpent, he spoke in English, "I would like to see the professor."

"You are not a Slytherin student," said the serpent. "Is he expecting you?"

"Yes," hissed Harry in Parsletongue.

"Oh," said the serpent. It was silent for a moment, and then Severus opened the door.

"Mr. Potter," he said formally.

"Professor."

They stared at each other silently for several moments. Harry was aware of students craning their necks to see him.

'It was reckless for you to have come," thought Severus. 'Don't you _ever_ bother thinking ahead?'

'Gryffindor to the last,' thought Harry. 'The students I cannot trust are all at dinner. I assume that means the students here are all on our side.'

Severus nodded once, acknowledging Harry's point. "Do come in," he said.

Harry walked in, looking around at the faces of at least three-dozen students who had come to show their support for their Head of House. Most of their faces were blank, but Harry saw suspicion, respect, and frank curiosity when he looked at them. The seats in the sitting area were all taken except for one, which Severus returned to. No one made a move to offer Harry a seat, which actually pleased Harry. They hardly knew him, but they didn't awe him with titles like "the Boy Who Lived". He would have to prove himself to them, and that made Harry feel normal.

"Professor, I just heard what happened, and I wanted to extend to you my concern and support."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter. That is very kind of you."

'Do they all know you were a Death Eater?' thought Harry.

'No, not all of them.'

Harry held his eye, looking for permission to carefully proceed with his intended conversation. Severus was silent for a moment more, but then nodded very slightly.

"Where are Portia, Susannah, John, and Irving?" The Slytherins were staring hard at him, trying to decipher if the concern in his voice was real.

"In the infirmary. They had been instructed under Imperius to be caught 'attempting to escape' after my death. But the curses broke when we apprehended the Death Eaters."

"Are they okay?"

"They will be, but they'll be questioned tonight by the Aurors."

Harry shook his head and sighed heavily. "You'd think they'd give them some time after such an ordeal."

"They're strong," snapped one student snidely.

"Of course they are," said Harry. "I've seen them in action in the DA. But I still think they deserve a rest after having Death Eaters cast Unforgivables on them." He shook his head again. "Death Eaters at Hogwarts," he said as if to himself, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "This war can't last."

"And what are you going to do about it?" sneered another student—Jane was her name—but Harry could tell she really wanted to know.

"I thought that was obvious," said Harry, looking surprised although he wasn't. "I'm going to kill Voldemort."

Many of them flinched at the name, but they stared strong at Harry as though they hadn't. Harry stood steady, returning their gazes.

Finally, Jane replied, "You have a lot of nerve saying that to this audience." Harry knew her, although they had never spoken. Her mother had died during the last war and her father was sent to Azkaban, leaving Jane to be raised by her aunt and uncle, whom she called Mum and Dad. They did not support Voldemort, but many among their network of family and friends did, so they largely remained silent. Her words were not a warning. They were a challenge against Harry's character.

Harry gave her a wry smile. "I don't buy the 'Slytherin equals Death Eater' line, so don't try selling it to me. It does no one any good to spout such divisive nonsense."

Several of the Slytherins eyed him suspiciously. Then, Millicent Bulstrode said, "You've changed."

Harry raised his eyebrows and nodded in agreement. "I've been getting that a lot lately."

"Why are you here, anyway?" asked one of the younger students, a third year named Cynthia.

Harry turned to her. "Professor Snape," he said, nodding to him, "Was attacked by Death Eaters because he made a choice to stand against Voldemort. I'm here for the same reason you're here—to show my support."

"But you're a Gryffindor," she persisted.

"I'm a Hogwarts student," said Harry. "And I've spent a _lot _of time scrubbing the Professor's floors in detention. I've kind of gotten used to him."

Several of the students laughed tentatively, glancing at Severus, whose face remained unreadable.

"The storm is brewing," said Harry. "And we have got to stick together on this, or when it hits, it will be devastation the likes of which we have never seen before. The time for House rivalries and petty grudges is over. It's time we stand together—one school, one front."

"Behind _you_? Against the Dark Lord?" asked Millicent warily.

Harry shook his head. "_Beside_ me. Unlike Voldemort, I don't require servants. I'm looking for allies." He eyed the Slytherins steadily, clearly indicating he saw allies in the room.

"During the DA meeting tonight, we are going to discuss the reality of the war in regards to our training. You are all invited to attend, or to wait until the regularly scheduled Thursday meeting if you desire. Professor," Harry turned to Severus and inclined his head, "It is good to see you well. Thank you for allowing me to speak."

Severus stood up and crossed over to Harry, his hand extended. Harry took it and they shook firmly. "Mr. Potter, thank you for coming." He walked Harry to the door.

Walking to the Room of Requirement, Harry couldn't help but be concerned that Malfoy had chosen not to visit his godfather this evening. Those who intended to become Death Eaters, and those who were still not sure or who were too afraid to do otherwise, had all gone to dinner rather than sit with their Head of House. Harry could only assume it was because Severus was now officially a traitor. It bothered Harry that Malfoy would not go to him.

He, Ginny, and Hermione sat together as the DA arrived for their meeting. They watched the door intently, but Ron did not pass through it, and the three felt as though a dark cloud was pressing down on them.

Malfoy came, with Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle. Several other Slytherins also arrived—all of whom Harry knew were watching him for Voldemort. The Slytherin DA members on Harry's 'side' were all either in the infirmary or in Severus' quarters. Harry watched Malfoy, but the blonde did not make eye contact.

When it seemed as though more or less the entire DA had arrived, Harry stood up to speak, and the room grew quiet.

"It's terrible times we live in," he said swiftly, his voice thick with the seriousness of his words. "If this war hasn't yet touched everyone in this room, it will. The more time that passes, the more dangerous things become. And it will continue as such until Voldemort is gone."

Several students gasped. Harry waited patiently until there was silence once more.

"Dumbledore's Army began because incompetence was threatening our academic standing, but more importantly, our Defense education. The truth is that we are in danger because of the times we live in, but ignorance increases that danger. So here is some more truth for you:

"Voldemort has staged and perpetrated the worst attack the world has seen since his return. Many people were wounded and killed, including a friend of mine. Then this afternoon, four Death Eaters entered Hogwarts disguised as students and attempted to murder Professor Snape. The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff fourth years were able to subdue the attackers, and we owe them our gratitude and respect."

Harry placed his hand over his heart and bowed sincerely to each of them as the room thundered in applause.

Harry waited for the noise to subside.

"It is time for everyone to face the fact that what we are doing here is practicing for the battles ahead. When this war touches us, we must be ready, and we must stand—a united front—against anything and everything that comes against us. Now is the time to make choices. We must choose to be prepared. We must choose to stand strong. We must choose our allies."

The door opened and everyone turned to see a stream of several dozen Slytherins enter. Harry smiled slightly, his face set with determination.

The newcomers filed through the crowd to where Harry stood, and one by one, reached out and shook his hand. Harry caught each of their eyes, welcoming them. The rest of the DA made room for them to sit.

Harry said, "I want to extend a special welcome to the newest members of the DA. They are part of us now, and are to be treated, and protected, as such." He paused to allow the significance of his words to settle in.

When he continued, he looked to the group of Slytherin 'spies'. "It is time to choose sides in this war." He looked into each of their eyes in turn. They all looked away, except for Malfoy who had not yet met his eye.

"It is time to choose your path. Those of you who wish to defend yourselves, come to the regularly scheduled meetings for training, dueling, and platoon scrimmages. Those who want to be ready for the reality of war, respond to the 'galleon calls' on the weekends. This training is optional. This training indicates a willingness to fight should there be a large-scale attack at Hogwarts. This training is not for defense. This training is for war.

"It's dangerous times we live in," he repeated. "But I choose to _live_."

He scanned his eyes across the room and yelled, "This is _our_ life! This is _our_ time! It is time we stand and _fight_ the greatest evil of our time!" The room roared. "We will not cower in fear! We will _fight_!"

XIXIX

Harry and Ginny spent the next few hours talking with the DA. Everyone had their concerns—their stories of loved ones who had been attacked. Harry listened to them all, and urged each of them to remain strong since Voldemort's greatest weapon was fear.

Malfoy did catch Harry's eye before he left, and Harry nodded slightly to indicate he understood and would meet him tonight.

Finally, after everyone had left, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione headed back to Gryffindor Tower. When they climbed through the portrait hole, the first thing they noticed was their redheaded friend sitting in a large squashy chair, staring sullenly into the fire.

"Ron!"

Hermione ran to him, jumped into the chair with him and flung her arms around him.

"Don't you ever do that again! We were so worried. We didn't know what happened."

Run hugged her back, tightly. "It's okay, 'Mione. It's all okay."

Harry and Ginny took seats next to them.

"Where were you?" asked Ginny sternly.

Ron brushed Hermione's hair out of his face. "I was at Hagrid's, writing to Bill."

Hermione sat back. "All day?"

Ron nodded. "I wasn't sure what to say. Hagrid let me stay there while he taught class. I spent most of the day talking to Fang while I sorted out my thoughts." He smiled weakly at Hermione, but then turned back to the fire, his eyes drawn with sadness.

"Are you okay?" asked Harry in a very quiet voice.

Ron shook his head, and began to quietly ramble. "Bill told me over the summer that he and Fleur were going to get married after the war." Ginny put her hand over her mouth. She had not known. "He said he's been in love with her since the first time he saw her—and not like the Veela-infatuation that most guys get—it was all Fleur. And he knew her so well. He told me everything about her. And I guess I just kind of feel…" He swallowed hard, and a tear escaped his left eye and dripped down the side of his face.

"It's this fucking war. Like there wasn't enough shit to deal with in life, this fucking Dark Lord has to come and start killing people, and now Bill's lost the person he was going to spend his life with, and I can only imagine his pain right now—and Hermione, I love you," he said suddenly, looking up at her. "I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you. I've loved you since the first time I saw you, and I was such a brat our first year, and I was just a big arse about you and Victor, and I'm sorry I ever made fun of you about your studies, and about the House Elves. I just—I've wasted all this time trying to hide from my real feelings when I should have just told you everyday that you're the only woman I'll ever want to be with and—"

Hermione cut him off with a kiss. Then they buried their faces in each other's necks and with all of Hermione's hair, Harry couldn't tell if they were laughing or crying or both. But they held to each other in a death grip, very gently rocking as they whispered to each other inaudibly.

Ginny grabbed Harry's hand and tugged him away. At the foot of the stairs to the girls' dormitory, Ginny whispered, "Do you think Malfoy has an answer for you?"

"I don't know. Maybe." He caught her eye and asked seriously, "Are you okay with me going to him tonight?"

Ginny shrugged and looked away. "You love him. You gotta try." She looked back to him and asked, "But will _you_ be okay if it's not the answer you want?"

Harry breathed deeply, knowing he should consider the possibility, but then he shook his head. "It will be."

He retrieved his invisibility cloak and headed out to the lake. Malfoy was not yet there, so Harry laid himself out so that he could watch the stars. He expanded his consciousness to feel the world around him, grounding himself with the energies of the earth, steadying himself with the lake, breathing deeply the air. He knew he would need to be relaxed when he went to bed tonight.

Awhile later, he felt Malfoy approaching. He sat up and closed his eyes in anticipation. Malfoy sat next to him.

"Some speech," he said dryly.

"I thought you'd enjoy it," said Harry, his eyes still shut.

"Was it the same speech you made in Snape's _private chambers_?"

Harry shook his head. "Different audience. Different speech."

"How did you know where to go? You're not in Slytherin." Harry tried not to smile at the hint of anger and jealousy in Malfoy's voice.

"You'd be surprised what I know about this school," he said.

"Look at me!" snapped Malfoy. Harry turned to him and opened his eyes, taking him in. Malfoy was obviously very upset. "Is something going on between you and Snape?"

Harry regarded him evenly. "Why would you ask that?"

"He's been acting differently around you in class for some time. And while you were gone, he was very obviously worried. And last night you almost called him by his first name. And then the concern you showed when you heard he was attacked. And you knew where his rooms were! So what's going on?"

'Nothing I can trust you enough to tell you about,' thought Harry despondently. He said nothing.

Malfoy scowled. "Snape's a traitor now, and if the Dark Lord knows enough to want to kill him, I don't see how it would be a problem for you to answer my question. _Is there something going on between you two_?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Harry knew he was going to touch a nerve when he said it, and indeed Malfoy's anger swelled until his face became stony and unreadable. He turned away from Harry and stared at the lake. Harry could just barely hear him taking very deep breaths.

Eventually, Malfoy asked, "Is he okay?"

"He appears to be."

Malfoy sighed heavily and dropped his head to his chest. "They tried to kill my godfather, and I can't go to him." He turned to Harry, his eyes mournful.

"You choose not to go to him," corrected Harry. "You are perfectly capable."

"You know what I mean!" shot Malfoy.

"And you know what I mean," said Harry. "Make the choice, Malfoy."

Malfoy got up angrily and stormed off, and Harry sighed.

"Maybe tomorrow," he said aloud.

He heard Ginny's sleepy voice in his head, 'He'll come around.'

"I hope so," said Harry.

'Goodnight, Harry," she thought, and Harry felt her drift off to sleep.

He lay back down and stared up at the stars once again, calming himself, and drawing energy into him, collecting his strength.

He eventually returned to Gryffindor Tower. All of his dorm mates were asleep as Harry very slowly and methodically prepared himself for bed. In his nightclothes, he sat on the edge of his four-poster, and filched through the drawer of his bedside table.

He pulled out one vial of the potion Perenelle and Severus had prepared for him. They would both kill him if they knew what he was about to do, but in the last twenty-four hours, Voldemort had tried to kill both of them.

Harry knew his mind was still a mess. He knew that he was still trying to sort himself out after the possession. He also knew the stakes were higher now, and he couldn't wait another couple of weeks to find out what else Voldemort was planning.

He drained the vial in one swallow, put his glasses on the table, lay down, and went to sleep.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Special kick-ass thanks to my betas, CS Whitewolf and VirginSuicide, who both rock beyond belief! Everyone, please take a moment of your time to whisper thanks to them through your monitor. I'm sure they'll hear you. Really.

And thank you for reading! Please review!

Nation El-Diablo: Um, you say _mayhem_ is sanity-challenged? Yeah, well, glad you liked the chapter. Have fun climbing lampposts!

Rowenna7: Pardon your French. And Spanish. And um, English. Glad you liked!

Raintlykalopsic: You know, now that you mention it, it would have been tragic if Harry had lost Sev and Ginny because of jealousy-spurned-lover-heartache stuff. Because they are way-cool and very good for Harry.

Brenna8: Hurray for ferret sweetie! Yay!

Slice: Okay, um, don't be mad then after this chapter. They're not really broken up, they're just having issues right now, and kind of stagnated until Malfoy figures out what he wants to do, and actually goes about doing it. So don't go off on some rant about how you're distraught over Malfoy storming off and therefore Sev should shag Madam Pomfrey, alright?

DracoLuciusLover: Ooh, you bad! But hey, enjoy yourself, yo! Glad you like the chapter.

SheWolfe7: Well, there's the offer, and the Legilimency attempt is coming up next chapter. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Mayhem El-Diablo: Okay, then tell me what your names reference, because I'm curious. Ginny's sorting through her things, and I'd say she's doing a rather good job of it. But a "I need time alone" here and there is to be expected.

Shania Maxwell- Ooh! You must have loved Harry leaving the Great Hall, then, with his robes billowing! Mini-Snape indeed!

Liber-Creperum-Liber Diabolus: Hey! Glad you liked it. And I'm not scared, and that's all that matters, right? Me? Right? I'm all that matters?

Elebereth: Why thank you!

Wintermoon2: Boo… I don't like it when you have bad days. Sadness. But I'm glad my chapter helped at least somewhat. And yeah, Harry and Sev may one day pursue the topic further, but I don't think either of them are ready for that just yet. So snippets of admittance are about as good as we're going to get for now. Glad you liked the pensieve bit. I was worried about that- wondering what it might feel like to do that, how it would work and all of that. So I'm glad I got your approval!

DracoInaRaincoat: Hey! I'm glad you like it. I do my best, yo.

Beth: Glad you liked the chapter- and even brought it to work! Rock! That makes me happy. And I'm glad the cute/awkwardness came across well with Sev and Harry. I really try to keep their relationship (well, all of the relationships) interesting. So I'm glad theirs is still working.

Isis-mystic: Me too! But they still got some bumps ahead.

Dedmun: A must-read? Really! Aw, I'm swooning! Thank you!

Yukari: A take it that was a good day for you, then? Glad you liked it!

Silent-sounds: Squeals! Awesome. Thank you.

Pure Black: Hmm, I see your point. Other than Harry having gone and fallen in love, I totally agree with you- because Draco's in danger now with the situation he's put himself into. And he can put Harry in danger, but I don't think that's his intention- and Harry doesn't think it is either, which is why he's gone back to him. I'm still hoping Draco will get his head out of his arse, though.

Nemati: Why, thank you!

Takuto-kun: I can dig, although in the official JK stories, I kind of hope Ginny and Harry wind up together (because I'm pretty sure she's not going to hook him up with Draco or Sev). And I most definitely will go on. Thank you.

Hayley: Yeah, I think he's just tired of all the secrets and double lives. Not so much willing to put up with it anymore.

Relle: That's fine, sit in the corner and pout all you want! Me and Ginny and Sev are gonna go eat some CANDY! MMmmm…. candy… tasty. Would Relle like some candy? Hmm? Tasty tasty!

Devils-fire: Yay! Thank you!

The Great Sarini: Thank you, I do appreciate it. And good luck with your thesis! You got my respect. I'm scared of grad school.

Kiki: One word- handkerchief. :) oh, and thank you!

Driven to insanity: Yay! Glad you like. As for why Harry and Draco call each other Potter and Malfoy, well, I have to say I'm glad you asked- because it was one of the first things I decided about this story when I first decided to write it. When I was in high school, I dated Chipmunk, Hootie, Nu, Brandon, Brez, Dream, Paul, Flip, and Prentup. (Yes, I was one of those girls who had a new boyfriend as soon as the old one was gone). Anyway, they called me Hermy, Destiny, Destiny, Kati, Hermy, Kitten, Kati, Kati, and Herms, respectively. The point being that if we already had nicknames for each other, we continued with those nicknames. It was kind of a symbol of our closeness that we had them, and I never once felt distanced from them because if they didn't call me Kati. And the only one I ever talked to about it said that he liked it that I still called him Brez, instead of using his first name like most girls did. So that's why. I'm just drawing from my own experiences. I thought it was more poignant for Mr. Potter and Professor Snape to become Harry and Severus, because that counteracts the professional distance they had had.

Emiline: Ah, gotcha. And Snape's got budding romantic feelings for him. And thank you. I'm glad my writing is improving. And glad to find another fellow Snape liker.

Chaos-Chick3 (Chapter 1): Are they red and gold? I'll have to go fix that! Like I said, always let me know stuff like that- I'm working on memory here! Thanks!

B: Welcome back to the living! You're looking well.

Wyall Jared: Thank you!

Dragenphly: True dat. Twincest- yech! Hmm, good call about adding in more about the lessons. I'll see what I can do, but, um, it's getting kind of late in the story now. Thanks!

Bridge: Hey! If you ever get this far, good luck with your story!

Maxie: Yay! Edge of your seat! Yay! Thank you!

Mourning Dove: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You reviewed SIX days after my last update, and you're already complaining about the wait! I'm only part human, for Merlin's sake! There's only so much I can do so quickly! And OOH! I made you a H/S convert! Whoopee! You wouldn't have minded… okay, ahem… Severus leaned in and pressed his lips to Harry's. A soft moan escaped… um I better clarify that that's not a tease from next chapter, or else my readers will have my head when it's not there. And repentant Draco- I didn't want to put any of that in until Draco was actually saying it. This fic is not from his point of view, so if I said what he was thinking, it would just be weird. But I'm glad you like the story. Please keep reading.

Chaos-chick3: No! I haven't read his stories. You would recommend them, I presume? Where should I start? What are the titles, etc.? Glad you like the story. Makes me happy. And thanks for the SW,SH review! It's the first I've gotten on that one. I'm thinking of re-writing the summary so that people know what sickness lays within. Then maybe they'll read it, right? ;)

Tygressatheart: No apologies. I love hyper reviews. They make me giggle. But thank you muchly. And give Draco some time. It's hard for him what he's going through. And I agree that having Sev's feelings for him will probably strengthen their relationship. And um, did you mean friendship between Ginny and Hermione, or "friendship" between Ginny and Hermione? Just curious, yo. Thanks for the review.

LCM: Thank you. And don't worry about Harry getting too many new powers, unless you think he has too many already. I know it's hard to tell with chapter updates on-line (you can't see how many pages are left), but we're getting down to the wire here. The shit is already starting to hit the fan, so Harry really doesn't have much time at this point to discover anymore powers. But I have consciously tried to balance any powers he gets with hardships (control issues, magical shock, emotional hurts and feeling so separated from everyone, losing himself, etc.), because I agree- it is very boring when there is unlimited power to draw from with no 'cost', so to speak. And about the gay sex thing- as a matter of fact, I do know how it works. I didn't really want to get into the icky details (and even though I'm a girl, I do know what those icky details are)- preferring to airbrush it over. It's not just because of the R rating, although that is part of it. It's also because I don't feel that graphic writing fits in with the style that I'm using for this story. I'm thinking now that you're specifically referring to the Chapter 18 sex scene, and not so much the others, because I was kind of thinking when I wrote that that I was making it too "easy", but I wanted to focus on the words being said more than what was being done. So let me ask you- by trying to keep my language from being distracting, am I inadvertently being distracting with inaccurate descriptions? Should I go back and revise? Pardon the long response, but I get few reviews that actually offer criticism, which compels me to jump on them for more.

Sweet-Dreams2: Thanks!

Teira: Thank you for staying up so late to read my story! I am honored! I'm glad you like the character balance and the magic theories. Hope you continue to enjoy!

tWiSt3d: And thank you for sacrificing the feeling in your arse to read my story! I am equally honored! And hang on for Harry/Draco. They really need some support right now, going through a tough time, as it is.


	20. Choosing Sides

A/N: I had to write this chapter twice, because the first time it was boring. Thank you very, very much to my readers, especially those of you who reviewed. I was flat dumbfounded at the number and quality of reviews I got, and you guys really helped me to keep going even when the chapter didn't want to work out so well.

Moreover though, I want to extend a super special thanks to my betas who both helped me out despite hectic schedules. Virgin Suicide and CS Whitewolf, you are awesome! Everybody, give them a round of applause! (yay!)

Oh, and also, "havering" is a word, even though MS Word and both refuse to recognize it as such- it means talking loosely- saying silly, foolish, or just plain stupid things. You'll know what I'm talking about in a few minutes.

X

XIX

XIXIX "Choosing Sides" XIXIX

It was an ocean of thoughts, memories, ideas, and intentions. Harry swam through them like a jellyfish, reaching out with long tendrils, sucking them in and moving on. He himself was as pliant as the memories. He was translucent against them. They flowed in and out of his consciousness as though they belonged there—as though he belonged there.

But he was poison to that on which he fed, and everything he reached for slipped away. Each plan that he wanted, each name he searched for, each location he journeyed to find was gone before he could grasp hold of it.

'Where am I?' he wanted to know. He melted into his knowledge of self, but though he clung to it fiercely, his sense of his physical location was pulled away from him.

"Ah, there you are, boy," he said aloud.

Harry looked down into the pensieve and knew that something was not right. There was a tinge of magic that was not quite his own. It had to belong to that blasted boy.

He smiled triumphantly. "Thought you'd come spy on the enemy, eh?" He rose to his full height, carefully picked up his pensieve, and walked purposefully across the room. He placed the pensieve on top of his bureau and slowly lifted his gaze to eye level.

He stood staring at his snakelike features in the mirror. His reflection looked piercingly into him. He opened his thin lips and hissed in parsletongue, "Your time is coming to an end. And your professor is living on borrowed time. I _own_ him, and he dies when so ever I decide."

Harry's fury welled at the thought of the failure of his Death Eaters to overcome schoolchildren. Severus Snape had a painful future of torture and eventual death awaiting him.

"And you needn't come back searching for information," he continued, his anger turning to a vindictive triumph. "I'll be holding my memories in a safer location from now on," he said, smiling nastily. He turned his head, sweeping his eyes across the room in the mirror's reflection, focusing on the perfect container for his thoughts.

Harry knew the boy in his head would be desperately trying to cling to that information. He raised his wand, and began to tug, and his thoughts spiraled once again.

"_Stupify!_"

The world went black.

Ginny crumbled to the floor, her head spinning. Small flashes of light played before her eyes as she drunkenly looked around the darkened room.

She shook her head, trying to clear the spell away, and slowly crawled forward.

"Merlin, Harry," she whispered. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

As the fog cleared from her head, she rose to her feet and tiptoed around the room to ensure everyone else was asleep. Finding that none of the sixth year boys were light enough sleepers to have awoken at her intrusion, she turned back to Harry. Filching through his trunk, she quickly found his invisibility cloak.

She pulled the covers down off his bed and with a wave of her wand, hissed, "_Mobilicorpus!_" and Harry's unconscious form levitated lightly into the air.

Quickly wrapping the invisibility cloak around him, she slipped from his room, down the stairs, through the common room, and then out of Gryffindor Tower, carefully guiding the floating Harry all the way.

"Tootsie pop," she whispered, and the gargoyle leapt aside.

XIXIX

Ginny was curled on the floor in the corner, nursing a cup of tea when Severus stormed into the office.

"What happened?" he asked sharply, quickly rushing to Harry, who was laid out on a big squashy couch that Dumbledore had conjured.

"I stunned him," said Ginny evenly.

"Don't be ridiculous! Twins can't stun each other!"

"I did it to protect him!" she shot, feeling both helpless and infuriated at once.

"Severus," said Dumbledore calmly. "Harry apparently used the potion tonight in order to find out if Voldemort had any more plans for attack."

"Idiot boy!" hissed Severus. "I'm going to kill him."

Ginny was on her feet, her teacup shattering on the floor. In an instant, she was across the room with her wand pointed down at Severus. "You stay away from him," she intoned threateningly.

Severus stared at her blankly.

"That's enough, Ginny," said Dumbledore soothingly.

Ginny jumped and looked around as though only just realizing where she was. She lowered her wand and then sunk to the floor, resting her head against Harry's knees on the couch. "I can't believe this," she mumbled. "What are we going to do?"

"What happened?" repeated Severus, but this time he spoke with a quiet fear as he watched Ginny's unnatural behavior.

"Ginny awoke feeling that something was wrong with Harry, like he was changing."

"Becoming evil," said Ginny faintly. "Becoming Voldemort. So I went to his room and stunned him to bring him out of it."

Severus looked from Harry to Ginny, his mind working fast. "Are you sure it wasn't just Legilimency?" he asked.

Ginny nodded. "I haven't even felt it the other times he's done Legilimency, although, granted, he's not done much since we've been twins. But I know the feeling of Tom Riddle in your mind. Harry was not in control."

"The Dark Lord possessed him, then?" said Snape, not wanting to believe it possible even with Harry's recent state of mental confusion.

"No… It was more like whatever memories Harry saw in Voldemort's head, he absorbed until they became his own."

Snape swore and turned to Dumbledore. "Albus, what can we do? If he has absorbed the Dark Lord into himself, we can't very well give him his wand and ask him to kindly slip that part of himself into a pensieve and not curse us to oblivion."

"Harry doesn't need his wand to do magic," said Ginny despondently. "We can't wake him up at all."

"We don't know the extent of the damage done," said Dumbledore reasonably. "The change you felt may have ended when you severed the link with Voldemort. We may find there is in fact nothing to worry about."

"Are you willing to risk that?" asked Severus.

"Actually," said Dumbledore, "I was rather hoping you would tell me that it was possible for you or Ginny to use that potion to contact him while he is unconscious. Perhaps we won't have to risk anything."

Before Severus could open his mouth to respond, he and Ginny both jumped and turned around to Harry's unmoving form.

"Harry?" asked Severus quietly.

Ginny gently took Harry's hand. She pressed the symbols of their twin bond together and took a deep breath, focusing on Harry, trying to get a feel for him.

Slowly, she smiled. "I think he's okay," she said, turning to Dumbledore. She frowned suddenly when she saw he had his wand trained on Harry, but she knew it was probably a good idea until they were certain.

They sat in silence for several minutes while Harry slowly bubbled into consciousness. Ginny and Severus were both focused intensely on the young man and any thoughts or feelings that they could connect to. And each of them relaxed more the closer Harry came to waking.

Finally, he squeezed Ginny's hand and opened his eyes. He looked down to his twin.

"Ginny, you stunned me," he groaned quietly.

She nodded with a faint smile.

Harry turned to Severus. "I told you she was crafty and would find a way to attack me."

Severus' face was blank for a moment, but then he smiled. "Yes, you did."

"How are you feeling, Harry?" asked Dumbledore clearly.

"Dirty," replied the slightly dazed youth. "I want a shower, but I think I really just need my pensieve. You're not going to believe this."

XIXIX

Ginny and Harry sat cross-legged on the couch, facing each other. They held each other's hands tightly and focused exclusively into the other's eyes. It was for protection, really. Severus had gone to get the pensieve. Dumbledore sat across the room, ready in case something should happen.

Focusing solely on his twin, Harry could feel the part of him that was his own self. Any other way, Harry felt the snake rearing within him, and had to struggle hard against the almost overwhelming compulsion to kill Dumbledore and Severus.

When Severus returned, he slid the pensieve onto Harry and Ginny's ankles, and Harry pulled out his wand, still focused on Ginny's eyes.

"I'm sorry to taint your memories like this, Sev," he said without humor, adding, "But I guess it is preferable to slaughtering you."

Harry took a deep breath, and slowly shifted his focus to the well of fury and murderous intent—the passions of Voldemort that he found himself struggling so hard to control. Ginny gripped his other hand tighter as she felt the change within him. She was afraid she was going to lose him.

But Harry maintained his control long enough to touch his wand to his head, and gently pull it all away.

As the wisp settled into the pensieve, Ginny caught Harry's eye and asked, "Is that all of it?"

"No," said Harry. "But I'm keeping the rest."

"Bloody hell, Harry, no!" she snapped. "You get that sick son-of-a-bitch out of your head right now!"

Harry smiled. "Ginny, I've been in his head before. I've known a lot about him for a while. There's no harm in what I've kept. I took all the bad things out."

But Ginny was livid. "Harry," she said acidly, "There are _only_ bad things about him. I'll not be bonded to the fucker that used me to try to kill people."

Harry glowered. "I am not him," he said darkly. "And there are things about him which are not bad. Take away the psychopath part, and he's just some wizard trying to make the world better. But in order to conquer the psychopath, it's useful to me to know the wizard underneath."

"Would you mind filling us in on your conversation?" said Severus dryly.

Ginny turned to him and pointed at Harry. "He's trying to tell me that What's-His-Name isn't all bad."

"Call him by his name, Ginny," said Harry sternly.

"Voldemort!" she screamed. "I'm not afraid of his name, Harry! I thought you would know that. But that arsehole does not deserve a name like that—that inspires so much fear and awe! He's a sick, twisted, _common_ criminal with delusions of grandeur. The only thing that sets him apart is his willingness to do horrific things to anyone and everyone, and I will NOT have you havering on about how he's _not so bad, once you get to know him_!"

"Actually, Ms. Weasley," said Severus calmly, "You've got that backwards. I joined the Dark Lord because the ideals and principles he espouses are intelligent and largely protective of the wizarding world. It's once you get to know him that you realize that he is 'sick', 'twisted', and has 'delusions of grandeur.'"

"And Ms. Weasley," added Dumbledore, "Do not make the mistake of underestimating Voldemort. He is a very powerful wizard, and a force to be reckoned with."

"But that doesn't mean Harry should start absorbing him into himself!" snapped Ginny.

"But it could be useful to me," said Harry softly. "I'm very familiar with Voldemort's wrath. I've experienced it first-hand. I'm not keeping anything dangerous. I just want to understand him."

Ginny bristled and glared at him. "I know you, Harry. Anyone or any_thing_ you understand you come to care for. If you dive into Voldemort's psyche…" she trailed off, looking for the right words. "How are you going to kill him if you love him?"

Harry didn't have an answer for that. But he was rescued when Dumbledore spoke up.

"Harry, do you think you might tell us what happened tonight?"

Harry turned to look at him, glad for the temporary reprieve. He smiled awkwardly, thinking darkly, 'Well, it turns out that I'm not ready to practice Legilimency on Voldemort.' But then visions of Ginny and Severus attacking him filled his head, and he decided he should try a more clinical approach.

"Voldemort's removing his memories from his head and placing them in another, safer, receptacle."

Harry watched the other's faces go blank as they assimilated this news.

"Where?" asked Dumbledore.

"I don't know," said Harry. "He took that thought from his head as soon as I grabbed it—and since I was in his head, it left my consciousness as well."

"So he knew you were there?" asked Severus.

"He knew after your defection that in all likelihood you had not created a potion to sever the link between him and me. So he was removing all vital information when I was there. Then he noticed a twinge of magic in one of the memories that was not his own, and surmised it to be mine."

"But he didn't actually feel your presence then?" Severus clarified.

"No. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if Voldemort had realized what bad shape I was in, and had actually tried to take charge of me."

"Harry, if you try something like that again," said Ginny, "I'll kill you, myself."

"Which may actually be possible," mused Severus, "Since she was able to stun you."

Dumbledore turned a thoughtful eye to Ginny and asked, "Considering how strong your bond is, Ginny, how is it that you weren't knocked out by the curse as well?"

"By will alone," said Ginny with a look on her face like she never wanted to do that again. "I almost was, but I had to help Harry."

Harry squeezed her hand, and for the first time ever, purposefully used the twin language to say, "Thanks Ginny. You really saved my life. I was in over my head."

"Give it time, bro," she said back. "You're way more powerful than he is. He better not win because you do something stupid."

She was joking, of course, but Harry felt the full weight of her words, and the impact was almost brutal.

XIXIX

Harry didn't have trouble in his classes anymore. He remembered everything Severus had learned when he was in school—and the man had been more of a perfectionist bookworm than even Hermione. So Harry charmed the prophecy charts so that they blended into his class notes, and he poured over them whenever he found his class work to be boring.

Ginny had done a brilliant job cross-referencing the prophecies by category and outcome, and as Harry sat in class pretending he was paying attention, he began to formulate predictions of what might come to pass.

Based on what he knew of Voldemort, the outcomes where he came out victorious but still went on to destroy the whole of the wizarding world, and much of the muggle world, simply did not make sense. Sure, Voldemort had no problem torturing and killing people in the most gruesome of ways, but his ultimate goal was not annihilation. It was domination. Voldemort wanted to gain control of the world so that he could enforce his will upon it, and his will was to create his concept of utopia—muggles bowing down to wizards bowing down to Voldemort.

So in what way did it make sense for him to go about killing all of his subjects?

But then Harry noticed that mentions of betrayal abounded, and it suddenly occurred to Harry that Voldemort was under the delusion that his future subjects still fought against him because they had not yet been properly persuaded. Harry knew this for a fact. He had already experienced the warped sense of love Voldemort felt for the people he killed.

Harry sat in class and pulled up the knowledge, the feelings, and the memories he had taken from the Dark Lord, and he began to imagine what would happen if, in a battle of magnificent proportions, Voldemort looked around and realized the world was against him. If he did manage to kill Harry, he could kill Dumbledore. He could kill anyone. And he would. He would seek vengeance against the world for betraying him by not serving him. It would feel like betrayal to him. And Voldemort did not take kindly to betrayal.

XIXIX

"Find anything today?" asked Hermione at dinner.

"Yeah," said Harry wryly. "Voldemort wants to kill everyone because he loves them."

Ron snorted into his food. "Well that's just about the most _fucked up_ thing I've ever heard!"

Ginny eyed Harry suspiciously. 'Don't feel sorry for him,' she thought to him. 'He's a murderous bastard no matter what his mummy and daddy did to him.'

"What do you mean, Harry?" asked Hermione.

Harry looked at Ginny warily. She was not going to like this one. "First of all, this is in the 'Voldemort wins' scenario. He's standing over my lifeless body, and it finally dawns on him that the world thinks he's a horrendous fuck-up. That doesn't jive with his own self-concept of course, so he decides that the world has betrayed him because they should love him, and he goes off on a murderous rampage."

"Bloody hell," said Ron. "Dude's got some issues."

"Well that's in the Voldemort wins scenario," said Hermione, rolling her eyes at Ron. "Did you find anything about how to keep that scenario moot?"

Harry avoided Ginny's eye. "No. Not today."

XIXIX

That night, he and Ginny slipped underneath the invisibility cloak and headed down to the dungeons.

'Hermione hasn't found anything about destroying souls,' thought Ginny to Harry. 'I think we should spend our free time this weekend scouring the Restricted Section. All of us.'

'I agree,' thought Harry. 'Hermione is the best at research, but it couldn't hurt to have more people looking.'

'You should talk to Dumbledore about the Department of Mysteries,' thought Ginny.

'They'll let us know if they find something about the prophecies, won't they?'

'I don't know. I'd like to think so, but I meant about destroying souls. If there is magic capable of it, they should know about it right?'

'Who knows?' smirked Harry. 'For all we know, they really just spend their days playing cards and twiddling their thumbs.'

Ginny grinned, 'And their reputation just comes from the mystery?'

Harry shrugged with a sly smile, and hissed in parsletongue, "We're here to see Professor Snape."

"I'll tell him you're here, invisible one," replied the stone serpent.

After a moment, Severus opened the door, and Harry and Ginny entered. They settled in the sitting area with tea and scones and soon had begun the process of trying to sort through the mess that was Harry's brain.

Harry needed to get his Legilimency skills back up to par. He had practiced a little with some of the students during class—and had had very little difficulty. So he surmised that the problem was that it was the bond with Voldemort that caused Harry to take any memories he saw from Legilimency and weave them into his own memories. It was much the same as what had happened with the possession of Severus, except that Harry was not possessing Voldemort.

This was a major problem. Especially now that Harry had talked Severus into retiring from his role as spy, he needed to be able to find out what Voldemort was planning. He needed to find out what attacks were coming up. And he needed to find out what Voldemort was doing to himself and his memories and if Harry could get around it somehow.

So his plan was to practice Legilimency on the other two people to whom he was bonded.

Severus set up the pensieve nearby, and Harry sat down with Ginny. She didn't have any Occlumency shields up, and it occurred to Harry that perhaps she should.

'Ginny, do you want me to teach you Occlumency and Legilimency?' he thought to her.

'Sounds like a plan, bro. Have you started yet?'

'Just now. I'm about to dive into your childhood. Anything you want me to avoid?'

She smiled. 'I think you and I are beyond secrets, don't you agree?'

Harry grinned, and dove in.

XIXIX

"Well?" asked Severus, when Harry finally turned away.

Harry shook his head in disappointment. "No good," he said. "Now I remember when I used to be a little girl."

Severus scowled. "Can you tell what's different?" he asked.

Harry shook his head. "No. I'm doing the same things I was doing with the other students today, but once I view a memory with Ginny, it becomes mine. Speaking of which, Ginny," he turned a raised eyebrow to his twin, "_Prince Harry Potter and Princess Cantara?_"

Ginny looked at him blankly for a second, and then suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. "Oh Merlin!" she laughed, blushing crimson, "I completely forgot those existed!"

Harry laughed with her. "I can't _believe_ those existed!"

Severus gave the two an unimpressed glare and Harry realized he had been left out of the conversation.

"Sev," he said, still laughing, "Did you know there were children's books written about me?"

"A whole line of them!" squealed Ginny. "The _dashing_ Prince Harry and… oh, whatever! Fill in a cookie-cutter story. There was always a beautiful princess he falls in love with and a dark magic creature that he conquers at the end!"

"And you _read them_!" accused Harry playfully.

"I was five!" giggled Ginny defensively.

"No excuse! You were obsessed with those stories!"

"Harry, you were the dream and fantasy of every little girl in our generation. Still are, if your fan club is any indication."

"As fun as it is to reminisce about girlhood fantasies," snapped Severus sternly, "I do believe we have a slight problem with our young _Mr._ Potter remembering himself to have once been female."

Far from having the intended effect of startling Harry and Ginny back into work-mode, the two crumpled on the floor, laughing hysterically. Severus tried not to smile.

XIXIX

"So why Malfoy anyway?" whispered Ron at breakfast on Thursday.

Harry looked quickly down to his food, realizing that he had been watching the blond across the room. He glanced up at Ron who was looking from Harry to Malfoy and back to Harry with his brow furrowed as though he just couldn't make sense of the situation.

Harry shrugged. "He's funny. He's smart. He's good-looking." Ron made a face, but Harry said reasonably, "You have to admit that. He is."

Ron looked back to the Slytherin table but didn't say anything. Harry took the lack of insults as a show of defeat.

"And, well, we're a lot alike, actually. We see the world the same way, and he's good to talk to."

"But he's always insulting you," argued Ron.

"He has to," said Harry. "We made a deal about it. He can insult me but not you guys. That way he can still be the arse everyone expects, and I don't have to worry about what he's saying about my friends."

Ron looked thoughtful. "You know, it _has_ been awhile since he's called 'Mione a you-know-what."

Harry nodded. "His gift to me. He's really not a bad guy, you know."

"Yeah, whatever," said Ron. "Do you trust him, though?"

Harry turned back to his food. "I want to. Ask me again later."

"Ginny still hates him," said Ron quietly.

"I know," sighed Harry. "But she's doing her best to be supportive because she knows how I feel about him. In fact," he dropped his voice to an even lower whisper and leaned in to Ron, "I have a feeling if we don't get a handle on blocking the twin bond better, she's going to wind up in love with him too."

Ron cut a look to Ginny and said, "That'll be the day. Of course, a week ago, I would've said the same about you. I'm sorry, Harry. But this whole thing is just…"

"I know," Harry repeated. "At this point, if you can just try not to kill him, and of course not tell anyone, I won't ask for more."

Ron gave Harry a sly look. "At this point," he said. "I'm not promising more."

Harry caught the glint in his eye and grinned, "Thanks, mate."

Ron nodded, and they both looked up when they heard a flutter of wings.

"Bugger! Not again," groaned Ginny.

"What?"

"The Git's owl."

Percy's owl swooped down and dropped two letters on the table before them, and flew off without waiting for any treats or replies. Ron grabbed the letters and handed one to Ginny.

They quickly read through them.

"What does he want?" asked Harry. "If he's still trying to save you from me, you can write him back and tell him it's officially too late."

Ginny smirked at him, 'Keep your voice down! The twin bond's a_ secret_, Harry. Remember?' Then she said aloud, "He wants to meet us at the next Hogsmeade weekend. All of us."

"Really?" asked Hermione, unfolding her newspaper.

"Yeah," said Ron, staring at the letter. "I think he wants to make amends."

"Really!" asked Harry.

"Seems so," said Ginny. "I guess with the recent attacks…"

"And Bill's loss," added Ron sadly.

"That he wants to make up with us," finished Ginny.

"That's great," said Harry firmly. "So we'll go—all of us. Right, Hermione?"

"Absolutely!" she said.

"You're going too?" asked Ron. "After all the shit he did to you and said about you?"

"Ron, he's family," said Harry, not realizing he had just officially claimed the Weasleys as his family.

That was when Hermione gasped, "We won!"

All around the Great Hall, people were gathering around newspapers reporting the good news that Voldemort's latest "…large-scale attack was successfully fought back thanks to the foreign aid coming from North and South America," read Hermione out loud. "Just days after a devastating attack in Salem, Massachusetts, Ministry Officials from around the world, in conjunction with the Order of the Phoenix, led by Albus Dumbledore, have begun to work together with a series of warnings, alarms, and alerts that notify witches and wizards from all over when there is an attack by You-Know-Who's infamous Death Eaters."

"Must be like the 'galleon calls'," said Ginny.

"Kosovo was flooded with witches and wizards from at least eight different countries, each of whom have independently pledged to fight until He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his Death Eaters have been stopped."

"Amazing," said Harry. "Nicolas and Perenelle are really doing it."

"Ha!" said Ron almost triumphantly. "That's why Percy's writing now. It finally occurred to him that the Order's not just a bunch of loonies."

"Don't be silly, Ron," said Hermione. "Of course we're a bunch of loonies."

Ron grinned at his girlfriend, flung his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her on the cheek. "This calls for a celebration!" he declared. "Let's skip all our classes!"

"Ronald Weasley, don't you dare!" shot Hermione, with a horror-struck look on her face.

Harry and Ginny burst out laughing.

XIXIX

Harry managed to speak with Dumbledore before the DA meeting that night, and Dumbledore confirmed Ginny's suspicions that the alerts mentioned in the article were indeed very much like the 'galleon calls'.

"We've actually gotten a lot of ideas from the DA," said Dumbledore with his eyes twinkling. "Angelina Johnson is head of the greatest of our aerial assault teams. There are five. And Moody has been working on mass illusion charms so that we can conceal our numbers, which works to our benefit both when we have more fighters and when we have less."

"That's great, sir," said Harry.

"Indeed it is. It seems as though young minds have fresh ideas. We're just lucky to be able to borrow some."

Harry also asked Dumbledore if the Department of Mysteries might know of some way to reverse whatever magic Voldemort had done that seems to have made it impossible to kill him both body and soul. Dumbledore told him that he would inquire on the matter, but Harry got the distinct impression that there was something Dumbledore was not telling him.

The DA was in a much better mood that night than they had been on Tuesday, and they worked harder than ever before. Harry had a feeling that, the reality of the war having been firmly driven into them, they were all going to respond to the 'galleon calls' and would not hesitate to fight in a real battle should one ever come to Hogwarts.

Harry made a point to shake hands with and talk for some time with each of the four Slytherins who Voldemort had tried to set up in his attempt on Severus' life. He asked them if the Ministry had treated them all right, and assured them that sometimes the Aurors were just bastards, and he was sure it was nothing personal.

"Harry," said Luna as Harry made his way through the room. "Might I have a word with you?"

Harry nodded, glancing over her group. He was surprised at how much discipline Luna inspired in her platoon, when most of the time she looked more like she had wandered in front of them by accident than being their declared leader. But Phoenix was a formidable platoon, all the more so with Crabbe as a member. Ginny had mentioned that he tended to scare the others into perfect submission to Luna's will—not that she had had a problem with that previous to his joining.

Luna took Harry by the arm and led him to the corner of the room, and dropped her voice.

"What is it, Luna?" asked Harry quietly, concerned by her forceful behavior.

Luna cocked her head suddenly, looking at him searchingly. "You've changed, you know?" she said.

Harry nodded rolling his eyes a bit. "People keep saying that."

"Because it's true, Harry. I think you're older now than you were before."

Harry imagined people giggling if they had heard Luna say that, but he knew exactly what she meant, and moreover, she was right.

"Anyway, my dad had a reporter out doing a story on the migration habits of the winged snarkblatzes, and the reporter came back with news of a migration of all sorts of dark creatures from around the globe—all headed toward England." Luna's eyes were uncharacteristically focused on Harry as she spoke.

"Are you sure, Luna?"

Luna leaned forward, her eyes wide. "Harry, something terrible is coming. And with the Death Eater attacks lately… I thought you should know."

Harry looked down and away, thinking hard. "What sort of creat—"

A loud bang sounded throughout the room as the door slammed shut. Harry and Luna turned, and Harry noted with satisfaction that nearly everyone in the room had their wands trained on the door.

The room was nearly silent for a moment until Luna called out, "Where's Vince?"

Harry swept the room with his eyes, but he did not see Crabbe. He did, however, catch Malfoy's eye and raise a single, questioning eyebrow. Malfoy nodded and looked away.

XIXIX

Harry lay back on his elbows, looking up at the stars. He had been out by the lake for quite awhile, and was beginning to wonder if Malfoy was really going to come. Finally, he heard the familiar footsteps behind him. He expanded his consciousness out into the night air and touched upon Malfoy's magic, pleased at the feel of him.

Malfoy lay down in the grass next to him, his hands behind his head. They lay there quietly for a long while, not moving, until eventually Malfoy asked in a hard tone, "So why did you ask me out here?"

Harry smirked, still looking up at the sky. "Better things to do, have we?" he asked lightly.

"I've got a million better bloody things to do than lie on damp grass in silence. So if you've got something to say to me, go ahead and bloody say it!"

Harry took a slow breath, allowing the words to fade into the night, before rolling over and catching Malfoy in a deep kiss. "Malfoy," he breathed into him. He slid up next to him so that their bodies were aligned. Malfoy didn't fight the kiss, but he didn't push himself into it. Harry pulled back.

"Potter," said Malfoy, holding his eye, "You trust me or you don't. You can't have it both ways."

Harry smiled and said with a light sarcasm, "_I_ can't have it both ways? That's sweet."

Malfoy sneered. "Oh, I think you have it in more ways than you'd care to admit."

Harry eyed him suspiciously. "Is this about Snape?" he asked, careful not to use his first name.

"Interesting question," said Malfoy, sitting up. "Strange you should automatically think of him."

"Right," said Harry, growing rather exasperated. "How's Pansy, by the way?"

Malfoy smiled with a sick satisfaction. "So that _is_ what this is about," he said.

"I don't _know_ what this is about," said Harry. "Why don't you tell my why you're being so—" He cut off, feeling as though he had been kicked in the gut with a sudden realization. His voice was hoarse as he asked, "Have you made your choice then?"

The next moment stretched into eternity as Harry waited for Malfoy to tell him he had chosen his father.

"Sod off, Potter! I told you I needed time!" spat Malfoy, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

"I thought you were… never mind." Harry looked away. "What's wrong?"

When he turned back to Malfoy, he was glaring at him, seething. "You told your friends about me, didn't you?"

'Oh shit,' thought Harry, suddenly feeling panicked.

Ginny must have felt the change in his emotions, because she thought to him, 'What's wrong?'

"Yes, I told them," said Harry.

'Oh shit,' thought Ginny.

"Are you _trying_ to get me killed?" demanded Malfoy. "If word gets around school, it's going to get back to Voldemort—"

"You're worried about Voldemort!" shot Harry. "Tell me something, Malfoy, how're your Occlumency lessons going with Severus!"

'Low blow, Harry. You better curb your temper.'

'Stay out of this!'

Malfoy glowered and made to get up, but Harry caught his arm and pulled him back down. "It was Voldemort who ordered Severus to teach you guys Occlumency, but Severus doesn't follow him anymore, does he? Tell me, Malfoy, have you even spoken to your godfather since the Death Eaters tried to kill him? Do you think he's going to keep teaching you a skill you can use against us?"

Malfoy tried to break away, but Harry held him strong and dropped his voice as he said, "Do you think you can stand up to Voldemort's Legilimency, or do you think he's just not going to care that you've been shagging his greatest enemy?"

Malfoy stopped struggling and just looked at Harry. Harry knew his words would probably bring the desired result, but he also knew that Malfoy was floundering for control, which he would not likely take kindly to.

'Say something, Harry,' warned Ginny, 'Or he's going to blow.'

Too late.

"You think I'm so weak, _Potter_, that you have to protect me!" he spat. "Maybe you just prefer someone with a bit more experience." He broke free from Harry's grasp and snarled, "I don't need you to baby sit me, and you sure as hell don't seem to need me." He got up and stormed off, yelling over his shoulder, "Say Hi to _Severus_ for me!"

"Bloody hell!" Harry slammed his hand into the grass, turning away from Malfoy's retreating figure to look out over the lake.

'Go after him, Harry.'

"I told you to stay out of it!" snapped Harry aloud.

'Trust me on this one. He wants you to go after him, and if you don't, you might not get another chance.'

Harry growled, staring at nothing. "Damn it!" he cursed, jumping up to run after Malfoy who was already entering the castle.

He slammed his way through the door and saw Malfoy near to the other end of the Main Hall. His shoes squeaked against the marble floor as he ran. Malfoy stopped and turned around. He paled as soon as he saw Harry running toward him, and looked about for witnesses.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he hissed, as Harry grabbed him and pulled him into the nearest classroom.

Harry closed the door behind him and cast a silencing spell on the room. Panting, he rounded on Malfoy. Malfoy's face was a cold mask, but Harry was familiar with it and didn't let it deter him as he breathed out, "I don't need you, Malfoy. I can do this without you—and I will if I have to. But I _want_ you. I want you on my side. I want you… to choose me."

He stepped forward and grabbed Malfoy up in another kiss, and this time Malfoy responded. He pushed Harry back against the door, pressing his body into the Gryffindor, kissing hard, dragging his teeth across Harry's open mouth.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, Malfoy pulled away. He pushed Harry away from the door and left through it.

XIXIX

Harry made his way angrily across the common room. When Ginny, Ron, and Hermione looked up, he realized that he had been stomping. He threw himself into the chair next to Ginny and put his head down on the table.

After a long silence, Ron said, "Well…"

Harry sat up abruptly and cut him off. "I don't want to talk about it," he said. "What are you guys working on?"

"Killing souls," said Ginny grimly. "This is really sick stuff, you know that?"

"We can't find any concrete and documented magic that has ever successfully destroyed a soul," said Hermione. "The closest we've come up with so far is the legend of how the Dementors came to be."

"What's that?" asked Harry curiously.

"Well, at some unspecified time 'long ago', some unspecified dark wizard was trying to destroy souls. He thought he had succeeded, but his 'experiments' were forever hungering for souls that they themselves did not have. They eventually ate his."

Harry shuddered at the thought of the Dementor's kiss. "Such vile creatures," he said.

"Yeah, but too bad they're on Voldemort's side. If they worked for the Order, we could sic 'em after Voldemort," said Ron.

"Ron," said Ginny sarcastically, "I think What's-His-Name is capable of the Patronus Charm."

"I was just saying that—"

Harry groaned and got up, in no mood to listen to his friends bicker. "Guys, I'm going to bed. What do you say we go to the library on Saturday to work on this?"

They looked up at him and nodded, their eyes showing varying levels of concern and annoyance.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I know I'm being a prat. But I can't work on this right now."

Hermione smiled and said, "No problem, Harry. Get some sleep."

Harry made his way to the stairs, but then turned around and caught Ginny's eye. "Thanks, by the way, for earlier."

Ginny smiled her 'you're welcome', but she wasn't entirely sure she should be helping Harry to win over Malfoy—not if he was going to be distracted and in a bad mood all the time.

XIXIX

Harry was indeed distracted and in a bad mood all day Friday, but he did his best to hide his temper from his friends, who in turn pretended not to notice when it slipped through a bit.

Friday night they wordlessly agreed to enjoy themselves, knowing they had a hard weekend ahead of them. Between homework, researching disheartening subjects, and a 'galleon call' on Sunday, there would not be a whole lot of time for rest and relaxation during their two-day break from classes.

Ron and Dean played chess while Harry, Ginny, Lavender, Seamus, Hermione and Neville played a game of exploding snap. At one point, Harry glanced over to a group of first years and longed for the days when the Weasley twins would keep everyone entertained by playing pranks on the younger students. So he took it upon himself to casually leave a few Canary Creams on a table not too far from them.

The mood was light that night, and Harry enjoyed the temporary reprieve from his other worries. He slept well.

Saturday, he woke up early and headed down to breakfast with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. They wanted to have a full day to spend in the library, and didn't expect many of the students would yet be up.

As they neared the Great Hall, Harry felt rather than heard footsteps behind him of other students making their way to breakfast. Hermione and Ron were walking ahead of him, bickering about the relative usefulness of enchanted quills for research purposes, when Harry most definitely heard another set of footsteps running toward them.

"Potter! Look out!"

Harry turned and dodged a stunning spell that was coming his way. It hit Hermione in the back. Ron caught her as she toppled forward like a rag doll.

Harry and Ginny turned on their attackers, wands drawn and ready. Crabbe and Goyle were advancing on them. Crabbe had a notebook in his left hand.

"_Stupify_! _Accio notebook_!" Harry looked up and saw Malfoy running up down the hallway, casting spells on Crabbe and Goyle. Goyle hit the floor with a thud, and Crabbe's notebook flew out of his hand toward Malfoy, who dodged it rather than catching it.

Crabbe fell to his knees, finding himself at the business end of three wands.

"You don't deserve her, Potter," he said thickly. "Luna belongs with me."

"Crabbe, you moron!" Ginny shouted, stepping so that she was partially blocking Harry from him. "Of course Luna loves you! This," she said, indicating the situation they were in, "Is _exactly why_ she won't go out with you!"

"She's with Potter!" he protested.

"_I_ am with Potter, you stupid fuck!" snapped Malfoy.

Harry and Crabbe both looked to him with eyes wide, but then they all turned when a shriek alerted them that someone else was in the hallway.

"You!" screamed Pansy. "So help me, Draco Malfoy, I will _kill you for this_!" She raised her wand and said, "_Avada_—"

"_Expelliarmus_!" yelled Harry automatically without raising his wand. Pansy's wand flew to him and he caught it deftly. Their wands were now all turned to her. She looked panicked for a moment, but then dove toward the notebook.

"No!" shouted Malfoy as she wrapped her fingers around it and disappeared. He ran a few steps toward her, but it was too late. "Fuck!" he yelled, turning to punch the wall.

"What the hell just happened!" yelled Ron, still holding the slowly reviving Hermione.

"That was a portkey," yelled Malfoy back. "Took her directly to the Dark Lord. Crabbe and Goyle were supposed to stun you and take you to him," he said to Harry.

"Bloody hell," said Ron. Ginny and Harry looked at each other as the gravity of the situation finally hit them. They had thought the attack was just another spat of inter-House rivalry.

Malfoy stormed over to Crabbe and aimed his wand right at his heart. "Show me your Mark," he demanded. Crabbe sat there, stunned, and Malfoy yelled, "Show me the fucking Mark!"

Crabbe reached down and pulled up his left sleeve.

The doors to the Great Hall opened and Harry, Ginny, Malfoy and Ron all turned their wands to the newcomers, but lowered them at the sight of Dumbledore with several teachers.

Dumbledore swept over and looked down gravely at Crabbe, who seemed frozen in his position, revealing his Dark Mark.

Snape knelt down next to Goyle and pulled up his sleeve, revealing another.

McGonagall turned to Malfoy who pulled up his sleeve and said angrily, "Don't look at me, I'm not with them!"

Harry looked to him seriously, and quietly said, "You saved my life."

Malfoy dropped his scowl as he turned to Harry. "Yeah, well, hide me from my father, and we'll call it even."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Next chapter- More Harry/Draco! Yay! And let's see if we can't get the shit to hit the fan properly, eh?

I cannot tell you guys how much I enjoy your reviews, and I am firmly committed to answering them all, because I like it when people answer my reviews, and I'm not cool enough to have a group list so we can just email and talk back and forth. But, I got 50 reviews this chapter, so if some of my responses seem a bit short and shallow, that's why. Others are more in depth because of good points, questions, or fun silliness that I couldn't resist. I am by no means asking for less reviews. If I get a hundred, I will still respond to all of them, because you have no idea how much I love getting reviews- even if they're not entirely complimentary, or not complimentary at all- because I love knowing what my audience is thinking and if the questions you're asking are the ones I want you to be asking or things that I haven't even thought of. Thank you so much!

Shania Maxwell: Thank you!

Brenna8: Yeah, what a mess!

Relle: Ginny just cast a protective spell on you so you don't die from eating crayons. And Harry has asked me to remind you that if Ginny dies, part of him will die too. And Severus thinks that eating crayons is a disgusting and childish habit. And Ron thinks your drawings are great.

Flounder2: Have you been looking in my pensieve?

Dee dee: Harry's trying to get used to being part-Snape. Give him time. And as for Malfoy, I personally think you're right, but Harry got sick of all the games and guessing, and wouldn't listen to me. And there wasn't a character in the story that would back me up, so he's just kind of been doing his thing. But whatever, it's all working out now, right?

Wyall Jared: Oh, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the ride!

Nation El-Diablo: Mmm… roasted Esook… Care to share?

Rowenna: To help with the bond. And I hope that satisfied your craving for H/D?

Isis-mystic: Good question. I suppose the Death Eaters got in the same way Barty Crouch got in- however that was. But this time the wards were set up to negate polyjuice because they were anticipating an attack on the Flamels (as Harry found out in Voldemort's head earlier in the story). I was meaning to make that more official and less subtle, but um, didn't. My bad! Forgive me?

Marie Falcon: First of all, glad you like Ginny. I always love it when ppl like her. Second, I had to spend more time on the Harry/Snape relationship because it is important, and not a relationship that most readers will take for given (like Harry/Draco). I also had to consciously make the H/D relationship troubled, because most readers will automatically assume them to be soulmates from the outset, and that makes angst a little difficult. Third, no, I can't pair Snape up with someone his age. Not in this story. It has to be Harry, because there is no way I could expect Snape to be so lenient with allowing Harry to keep memories that 1) are his and personal, and 2) nearly killed Harry by driving him suicidal while comatose, and 3) are none of Harry's friggin' business. Even if they were friends. It had to be more than friendship, and Snape had to have realized that while he feared for Harry's life so that he would be much more willing to acquiesce to Harry's desires. Even if having Snape's skill and control might help him to vanquish Voldemort, Snape would never allow anyone to get that close to him if he didn't already feel that close to them. At least, that's the way I see it. Does that make sense?

DracoLuciusLover: Merlin, that would be so boring if nothing ever happened to Harry:) j/k Glad you like!

Sheree: That is some damn good advice, the whole honesty thing. But no one told Harry that, hence ongoing angst. And I hope I explained Ginny's change a little better this chapter. Her romantic feelings for Harry are receding, and even if she doesn't like Draco, Harry loves him. She said she needed time, and she's trying.

Headphone therapy: Can't he be both? (and I have to mention I laughed my ass off when I read your summation of Harry's new personality!)

Firestar: Thank you, and absolutely right!

Riantlykalopsic: Thank you!

Takuto-kun: Vielen Dank! Deutsch ist sehr schwierig für mich, aber ich versuche wenn ich haben Zeit. Ich freue mich Sie wie die Geschichte. Krankheit ist gut.

B: What in tarnation gave you that idea! The story is drawing to a close, and I admit it may be awhile before I start cranking out the sequel, but this will be a full story. Promise.

SheWolfe7: He sure does! Yay!

D EDMUN: Yup, me too. Thanks!

DracoInARaincoat: EEK! You number one must read! Serious? I'm blushing like mad! You're awesome! Thank you!

Slice: Love TQaF, but you know that, right? Glad you're digging dream-boy Potter. I do what I can, yo. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I refuse to promise no more. And sorry 'bout the Pomfrey mental image. Couldn't help it. ;)

Ura: Thanks!

Kiki: Thanks!

Liber Creperum-Liber Diabolus: Many apologies, and many thanks.

Elebereth: Heehee, if Ginny and Draco get into a duel, Ginny will have an unfair advantage, because any spell Draco hits her with also hits her twin, so he'd perhaps be less inclined to fight full force than she.

Pure Black: Thanks!

Anni: Yeah, rock on! Thank you!

ScarletSerpent: heehee. First off, thank you. And secondly, I think the only plot bunny I wound up borrowing was the detention thing. And have no fear about me ending this like Blast From the Past. That ending is the very reason I started writing this story- I needed to make things better in my mind because I was far too upset when I finished the story. Very strong, emotional, powerful, and upsetting. But Fight the Future rocks, if you haven't started it. Highly recommended.

Tygrressatheart: a bit jealous? No, he's just hiding it well. He is Slytherin, after all.

Dracos-hot: Whoa! You are so totally awesome for saying that! The fact that something in my story reminded you of something so great, so well-written, so classically timeless and powerfully told… just tickles me pink! That was like, my favorite scene, too, in the trilogy, so, you just hit the jackpot with that one. I am yours forever. I know I am nothing near on par with Tolkien, but knowing that something I wrote even _reminded_ you of something so great, wow. Best compliment. Thank you.

Sinilu silverspell: Forget it! I'm not posting any more chapters! Except, um, this one. And the next few. But after the story's done, forget it! Until the sequel. But then that's it! So help me, I will _not tolerate_ vague insinuations of veiled threats! And that's final!

ManicReversed: Thanks!

Wintermoon2: Ooh! Glad you liked it! But really, it was nothing compared to your latest chapter in FtF. I mean, wow. Good luck with your end of term. If I can offer any assistance with distraction by fanfiction, just let me know. ;)

tWiSt3d: yeah, I was kind of hoping they'd do some more shagging too, but they got all these other issues bothering them, and then they argue, and their whole relationship is a mess, and honestly, if I was friends with either of them, I'd totally be telling them to just break it off, even if the sex is good. They just got so many things going against them, you know? Glad you're enjoying, though. And thanks.

Dragenphly: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy it, even the rough bits.

Mainiac: Thank you. I'm glad you like it, and I'm pleased you're enjoying the ride.

Jaquelle: Thanks!

Verily: Mmm, Shiraz-Cabernet. That's the whole reason behind the cheese, baby.

Gwaeren: I sure HOPE I'm Kati, because I'm wearing her underwear. But thanks for asking! And yes, always let me know about mistakes. I've gotten less anal about them the longer the story gets ( I think I reposted Chapter One like five time, fixing minor errors- now I usually don't bother to go back unless they're glaring), but I do want to know because at some point, I really will get around to fixing it. Really. Glad you're enjoying it!

Mini-ricer: There, there.

Distraught soul: Not kidding with your name, are you? ;)

Madkornfan: Okay! Bye!

Anne Dragon Malfoy: Wow! Thank you!

Little Miss Imperfect: I do what I can, yo. I hope this chapter cheered you up a bit, because man, _next chapter_ is going to be so intense and crazy! You're not even going to _believe_ what's happening _next_ chapter!

Charmed88: Well, thanks for joining! I hope you managed the wait as the minutes stretched on, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!

Emeline: No, thank _you_ lots! And I wish our wars really were like theirs- with a definite begin and end, and a single bad guy to take out. Because it's total bollocks when our leaders point to one person as if all the world's problems were caused by something so simple as one man. I'll stop. I'm about to rant, and we definitely don't need that here. But thanks for reading and reviewing. Glad you enjoy!


	21. Equal and Opposite Reaction

A/N: I completely forgot something very important last chapter!

Challenge: Story with Ginny/Harry pairing. On the eve of the final battle, Ginny thinks back to the stories she used to read as a child (see Chapter 20) about Prince Harry Potter. She compares the fantasy she used to hold to the reality of war, longing for such simplicity as the 'happily ever after' fairy tales.

This challenge comes from Virgin Suicide (who came up with the cookie-cutter fairy tales about Prince Harry) and me. If you are interested, drop me an email with the heading "Prince Harry Challenge" or something equally non-spam-like, so that I don't delete it. (Any subject titles having to do with enlarging anything will be deleted without being opened :)

And let me extend some super thanks to my betas Leamaryu, Virgin Suicide, Dowland, and CS Whitewolf. They did a super-fine job with this chapter, and it is now not only a work of fanfiction, but a work of art. Let's give them all a round of applause!

X

XIX

XIXIX "Equal and Opposite Reaction" XIXIX

They sat solemnly in Dumbledore's office, listening to Draco Malfoy's story. Several Aurors, including Mad-Eye Moody had already arrived. They had taken Crabbe and Goyle into custody and were questioning them in another room. Harry and Malfoy were sitting side by side, scowling as if daring Dumbledore or any of the Heads of House to say something about their relationship.

Much to Harry's relief, Ron, Hermione and Ginny all looked similarly resolute, even though Harry knew they still felt less than friendly toward Malfoy himself. They were supporting Harry.

While Malfoy talked, Harry kept his eyes on Dumbledore and on Severus, both of whom had their gazes locked on Malfoy, reading him in order to make sure he was telling the whole truth. Both of their faces were solemn and revealed very little, but Harry was able to pick up quite a lot even without using Legilimency on them—particularly from Severus.

As Malfoy was finishing up, the door slammed open and Moody stormed in. "It's a set-up," he barked.

"Very astute of you," said Severus calmly.

Moody sneered at him, but said nothing in reply. He turned to Dumbledore, pointing at Malfoy, and said gruffly, "What have you discovered about him?"

Dumbledore was silent for a moment as he regarded Moody. "Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter have secretly been, ah, friends for some time," he began pleasantly. "This morning, while he was with Ms. Parkinson, he overheard Messrs. Crabbe and Goyle discussing their plan to bring Mr. Potter to Voldemort. He excused himself from Ms. Parkinson, and ran to stop the attack. Ms. Parkinson escaped with the portkey they were intending to use, after attempting to cast the Killing Curse on Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore's eyes were hard as he finished his narrative.

Moody shook his head. "Do you really believe that _Lucius Malfoy's son_ just _happened_ to overhear a plot against _Harry Potter_ and ran to the rescue—turning his back on his own name in the process?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore and Severus simultaneously.

Moody scoffed. "It was a set-up to gain Harry's trust. Crabbe and Goyle were set up to take the fall, and now the Parkinson girl is off to report to You-Know-Who that everything went according to plan."

Malfoy glowered at Moody and opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off when Harry snorted loudly. "Do you really think Malfoy's that stupid?" he laughed, "That he would try to pull off some ridiculous plot like that, and then _lie_ about it to Albus Dumbledore!"

"Snape's been teaching them Occlumency—by the Dark Lord's orders!" growled Moody.

"With my approval," added Dumbledore, holding Moody's eye seriously. "And they were not very far in their training, I might add."

"You questioned Vincent and Gregory under veritaserum," interrupted Professor McGonagall. "Did they say the attack was a plot to win Harry's trust for Draco?"

"Vincent Crabbe revealed he was under orders not to discuss with Malfoy the plot to capture Harry, that he did not believe it when Malfoy revealed he was in a relationship with Harry, and that there was no other explanation for his actions, seeing as Malfoy was supposed to receive his Dark Mark in the coming months. In fact, Crabbe couldn't understand why he received his mark _before_ Malfoy."

"The Dark Lord was postponing his Call to young Mr. Malfoy due to his indiscretion of having feelings for Mr. Potter," said Severus coldly to Moody. "I believed we discussed this during the winter holiday."

"_He_ knew?" Malfoy asked Severus, his voice breaking just slightly in a very un-Malfoy way.

"He suspected that his warning to you was not going to be sufficient. Time was your test. You failed, obviously," mused Severus.

"Kudos to you," said Harry with a grin.

Malfoy glared at him. "This isn't funny, Potter. If he knew, I could have been killed at any point for being with you. The Dark Lord doesn't look kindly on traitors." He shared a look with Severus, and Harry suspected Malfoy would be having a conversation with his godfather very soon.

The office door slammed open again, and this time Remus Lupin entered, rushing forward to Harry. "Oh, Merlin! I came as soon as I could. What happened! Are you okay?" He knelt down before Harry and put his hand on the back of Harry's head, staring hard into his eyes as though looking for signs of damage.

"I'm fine, Remus," said Harry, smiling at the fatherly concern. "Malfoy stopped the attack before they got me."

"Malfoy?" said Remus curiously, turning to the blond youth sitting next to Harry, looking like he owned the world.

"We haven't yet cleared up the issue of his involvement," barked Moody.

"Yes we have, Alastor," said Dumbledore definitively. "Mr. Malfoy is not standing accused of an attack he thwarted. That line of questioning is closed."

"He…" Lupin looked from Harry to Dumbledore to Malfoy. "He thwarted…?"

"He saved me, Remus," said Harry, quirking an eyebrow as he turned to Malfoy, who wore a similar smirk.

Lupin's eyes widened and he turned around to Severus, who nodded once. "Oh… _Oh_," he said, slapping his hand to his forehead.

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny shared looks as they watched the proceedings. Ron seemed pleased that he knew before Lupin.

"Now I get it," continued Lupin. "That 'complex situation' you were talking about that day in St. Mungo's. I had thought you were talking about Ginny at the time. Then I thought you were talking about Severus." Lupin shook his head and laughed, wondering _what_ he had been thinking. He missed the slight glare that Malfoy shot from Lupin to Severus at that remark, but Harry didn't.

"Snape! Ew!" said Ron, just a little too loudly. A few people snickered. Hermione nudged him sharply.

"No, Severus and I are _just friends_," Harry said markedly for Malfoy's sake.

He suddenly felt a pang of hurt come from Severus. His face was as unreadable as ever, but Harry wasn't fooled. 'Well, maybe more than _just friends_,' he thought. 'I mean, we _are_ bonded.'

'Don't try to placate me, Mr. Potter,' thought Severus lightly with a bit of sarcasm. 'I know my place in your life.'

Harry felt there was more to the joke than what was on the surface. He narrowed his eyes slightly, still looking at Severus. Lupin and Malfoy both noticed and turned to the Potions Master.

'Sev, I—'

Severus cut him off by saying aloud, "Headmaster, we have lost three students this morning. I really must go address my House."

"I believe we all should," said McGonagall. "No doubt the rumors are already flying. Breakfast will be over soon. We should each hold House meetings to discuss this morning's events."

Dumbledore nodded. "That will be…"

He trailed off when the door slammed open for the third time and Lucius Malfoy strode boldly in, his eyes flashing dangerously. Severus moved at once to stand between the door and the couch on which Harry and Malfoy sat. Lupin stood up at Harry's side.

"Dumbledore, explain yourself," commanded Lucius. "I have received word of TWO Death Eater attacks at Hogwarts during the past week—one involving the Head of my son's House, and this one somehow involving my son. I want to know _when exactly_ you allowed Hogwarts to deteriorate to such a dangerous state!"

'That condescending bastard!' Harry heard Ginny's thoughts yelling in his head. He looked over and saw his friends readying to attack should they be given the opportunity. To say they still held a bit of a grudge after the incident at the Ministry last year would be a gross understatement. They were all clutching their wands beneath their robes, glaring at Lucius with undeniable loathing.

Draco sat beside Harry looking calmly past Severus at his father, but Harry had felt him tense slightly the moment he entered.

"Lucius, my dear boy," said Dumbledore pleasantly, as though he was unaware that nearly every person in the room was poised and ready to kill the newcomer. "Would you care for some tea?"

"No, I do not want _tea_!" he intoned in cold fury. "I want _my son_ out of this school immediately!"

Harry jumped to his feet and shouted, "Over my dead body!"

Lucius turned his steely gaze to Harry and Severus stepped forward to come between them once more.

"Hold your tongue, _child_," said Lucius bitingly. "Your fame gives you no right to come between my son and I… Draco," he said sharply, still focused on Harry, "Come along."

Harry felt a moment of panic. Was there anything he could do to keep Lucius Malfoy from taking his son? Draco was still a minor, after all. Harry had thought he and Dumbledore would be able to work something out—but there was no time now.

Severus squared his stance slightly and Harry realized that perhaps he was not the only person interested in Draco's safety.

"I am afraid," said Dumbledore seriously, all friendliness having drained from his voice, "That is impossible."

"In what way is it impossible for me to withdraw my son from this wretched school?"

"It is impossible because Draco has expressed a fear that his life is in danger because of you—or will be, once you learn the circumstances surrounding this morning's events."

"That is ridiculous!" shot Lucius. "My son is in no danger from me. He is in danger here! And I intend to withdraw him immediately."

Dumbledore shook his head. "Draco's fear was heard by several members of this staff—myself included—and until _we_ determine that he is in no immediate danger, he is a ward of the school and will remain here in our custody."

Lucius paused before saying, "I am going to the Minister about this."

"These laws are as old as Hogwarts," the headmaster replied. "The Minister has no jurisdiction here."

"We shall see." Lucius fixed Dumbledore with a glare that would freeze lava. Then he turned and stormed out without ever once looking at his son.

Malfoy breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. Harry caught his eye.

"Albus," said Moody, "We need to escort the prisoners to Azkaban to await trial."

"Of course," said Dumbledore. Moody nodded his head and left. "Perhaps the rest of you would like to get some breakfast before you meet with your Houses? But Remus, I would like a word."

The students and professors filed out of the office. Severus was the first to leave, and had disappeared down the hall by the time Harry had made it down to the gargoyle at the base of the steps. Harry knew something was wrong, but he had other concerns at the moment.

He turned to Malfoy and said urgently, "Do you know who you can trust?"

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at him.

"In your House, I mean. Do you know who you can trust?"

"I've got a good idea," said Malfoy calmly.

"Don't be alone, ever. If you can't be with one of us," Harry looked to each of his friends in turn to make sure it was okay for him to offer their services. They made no argument, although none of them looked exceedingly happy about it. "Be with someone from the DA," he finished. "We'll be in the library after the House meeting, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he drawled uninterestedly. Then he fixed Harry with a sly grin. "So, ah, walk me to breakfast?"

Harry smirked but said nothing because just then, Hermione let out a horrified gasp.

"Oh no! I nearly forgot!" She turned to Harry, her eyes wide. "Harry, we've got to go—_now_!"

She grabbed Ron's arm and took off running. Harry sent a confused, if not slightly panicked, look at Malfoy, and then took off behind Ginny. Malfoy shrugged and ran after them.

Hermione ran past the Great Hall and slammed her way through the front door. Running down the walkway, they saw the small team of Aurors with Crabbe and Goyle nearing the apparation point. And standing at the gate blocking their way was Luna Lovegood.

They could hear Moody speaking gruffly to her, apparently ordering her out of the way, but Luna shook her head as though she didn't understand him. Then Crabbe fell to his knees. When the group drew nearer, they realized he was crying.

"Please, Luna… forgive me. I didn't have a choice. I thought you had left me… please…"

Luna looked down to her feet, saying nothing, but resolutely blocking the gate.

"That's enough," said the youngest Auror, pulling out his wand. "Young lady," he said, turning his wand on Luna, "You are going to have to move out of the way so that we can…"

Crabbe looked up at the Auror who was pointing his wand at Luna, and a wave of undeniable fury washed over him. He jumped up from his knees at the Auror. In his shock, the Auror turned his wand on Crabbe instead and opened his mouth.

Hermione screamed, "Nooo!" and bolted forward.

Crabbe and the Auror both faltered, glancing her way. Crabbe lost his footing and stumbled ungracefully to the ground. Moody cast a full body bind on him. The young Auror gazed around, perplexed, looking from Moody to Crabbe to Hermione to his wand.

"Merlin's beard," he said in shock.

Hermione rushed over to Luna and wrapped her arms around her. "It's okay," she said. "Crabbe's okay. Come on, let's go back to the castle." She led Luna away from the gate and toward the group of waiting friends.

Luna's eyes were wide and she looked lost. Harry stepped forward and rested his hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay," he said quietly.

"Potter! You get your hands off of her!" bellowed Crabbe from the ground. "I'll kill you!"

"_Stupify_!" said Moody, and Crabbe settled into a silent lump where he lay.

Luna spun around to look at the unconscious Crabbe, her body shaking. Without warning, she burst into tears. Hermione pulled her close as the Ravenclaw sobbed in hyperventilating gasps.

"It's…all… my…fault…" she choked out.

"No it's not, Luna," said Harry firmly.

"You're better off without him!" shot Ron, but Luna only cried harder.

Ginny elbowed Ron sharply, hissing, "You're not helping, Ron!"

The Aurors conjured a stretcher for Crabbe, and opened the gate, leading the prisoners off of Hogwarts grounds.

"Harry…" sobbed Luna. "I never should have kissed you, Harry. I never should have…"

Moody held up a small teapot and said, "_Portus_," tapping his wand against it. He and the Aurors began arranging themselves and the prisoners so that everyone was touching it.

The students watched on in a silence broken only by Luna's ragged breathing. One moment the Aurors and Crabbe and Goyle were there. Then space closed around them, and they were gone.

"Let that ogre _rot_ in Azkaban!" snarled Malfoy quietly.

Upon hearing the insult against Crabbe, Luna turned to Malfoy, her eyes flashing with an emotion as close to anger as Harry had ever seen in her eyes. She opened her mouth, but closed it again, saying nothing, and then abruptly turned and ran back into the castle.

"Luna," whispered Hermione urgently, following after her.

Ginny took a few steps toward the door, but then thought better of it. She stopped and stormed back to Malfoy, and slapped him across the face.

"Listen to me, Malfoy," she intoned dangerously in a very low voice. "Let's get something straight. I don't like you. I know you sold me out to your father and I know that your father was behind my possession by Tom Riddle's diary. You can't even begin to imagine what that did to me, and I want you to know that I swore revenge against your family for that."

Malfoy's eyes widened slightly, and Harry wondered briefly if he had even been aware that his father was directly involved in the opening of the Chamber of Secrets.

"But Harry loves you," continued Ginny, speaking swiftly, "And I love Harry, and for his sake, I am willing to rescind that vow against you. I'll even make an effort toward civility." She stepped even closer and her eyes darkened as she said, "But so help me Hera, if you hurt anyone I care about, I _will_ hurt you."

She glared at him a moment more, before calming her expression and adding in a neutral tone, "And thanks for saving Harry this morning." She cuffed his arm in a friendly manner, and then ran after Luna and Hermione.

Malfoy turned to Harry with raised eyebrows. Harry opened his mouth, but was cut off when Ron stepped up.

"I second that," he said tiredly. "All of it. I'll put aside our family rivalries because there are other things more important." He looked over his shoulder at the front door, and then turned back to say, "But I still don't like you. I'm going to breakfast."

He walked casually back to the castle, and Harry said with a sigh, "Actually, that's a vast improvement from when they first found out."

Malfoy smirked and nodded understandingly. "Ginny's kind of scary, isn't she?" he said.

Harry smiled with something akin to pride. "Yeah. I'm glad I'm on her good side."

Malfoy cut him a look. "Lucky you. Let's go eat."

Harry and Malfoy made their way to the Great Hall side by side, and as they entered, Harry knew everyone was watching them. He turned to Malfoy and said loud enough for people to hear, "Malfoy, thank you for saving me this morning."

He reached out his hand and Malfoy grabbed it, shaking it firmly with a smile—a genuine smile, not his patented Malfoy smirk. "Anytime, my friend," he responded, just as loudly.

They turned and headed toward their tables amidst the murmuring of the other students. Harry pretended not to notice.

XIXIX

Professor McGonagall conducted the House meeting in the common room. She explained briefly what happened this morning, and then urged everyone to write to their parents. She had already notified them of the attack, inviting them to contact her or Dumbledore if they had any questions or concerns. But, she said, they would all certainly be interested first and foremost in knowing of their children's well being.

There were also going to be some changes made at Hogwarts. There would be a nightly patrol by teachers after hours, and the prefects were to make their rounds in pairs. Any person who was neither a student nor one of Hogwarts' faculty members would raise an alarm in the wards as soon as they entered Hogwarts grounds. For that reason parents would, from now on, have to schedule visits with Dumbledore. Heads of House would take a nightly attendance at curfew, and after each student was accounted for, the dormitory entrances would be sealed until morning. Students were urged to stick together despite those and other measures taken for their safety. And next weekend's Hogsmeade visit would be cancelled, she announced to victimized groans.

McGonagall then opened the floor for questions, which, Harry was pleased to note, she answered honestly and to the best of her abilities. She held nothing back from her House.

All the same, after she left, the room turned to Harry for more answers. He, Ron, and Ginny told their housemates about what happened this morning outside of the Great Hall. And Harry confirmed that he and Malfoy had been in secret contact with each other on and off again since their truce just before the winter break, and that Malfoy was indeed trustworthy. Ron and Ginny remained silent on the matter—a point that was not missed by anyone.

XIXIX

"Can't we at least wait until after lunch?" Ron complained as they headed to the library. "We _have _had a rather busy morning."

Harry rolled his eyes at him, annoyed by Ron's laziness, and Ginny frowned. "Ron does have a point, Harry," she said.

Harry looked to his twin, wondering what she was talking about. He knew quite well that despite this morning's events she was still anxious to find answers that would help Harry to vanquish Voldemort. So he said simply, "Ginny, you know we need this information. We've got to find it while we have time, and as it is, we've lost the entire morning-"

Ginny stopped and looked hard at her twin. "That's just the thing, Harry! Crabbe and Goyle tried to abduct you this morning, and take you to _Lord Voldemort_," Harry noted the stress she placed on his name in order to stress the importance of the situation, "And you just brushed it off like it was just a minor annoyance, and not an attempt on your life! You're not acting like yourself."

Harry narrowed his eyes and said with dry sarcasm, "Well, I haven't actually been _myself_ lately, have I?"

"Stop!" Hermione stepped between the two of them as though it were about to come to blows. "We're all upset about what happened this morning. But we have to go meet Malfoy in the library right now. We can unwind after that."

"Shit, I forgot you invited Malfoy," groaned Ron, but then he caught himself. "I mean—sorry, Harry." Ron looked at Harry bashfully. Harry nodded his understanding, but said nothing in reply. Hermione wrapped her arm around Ron and looked him softly in the eye. "I know, I know," he muttered. "I'll be good."

She smiled and tugged him on toward the library. "Come on," she said. "We do have a lot to get done."

Ginny moved to follow but Harry grabbed her wrist. "You guys go ahead," he said. "I want to talk to Ginny a minute."

When they were alone, Harry and Ginny moved to the wall and spoke underneath a painting of a Veela and a unicorn. Harry leaned against the cool stone wall and closed his eyes, his face pointing up toward the ceiling. He took a deep breath to help him figure out what to say, but in the end, he couldn't see a reason why he shouldn't just be straightforward about it all.

"Ginny, are you still in love with me?" he asked, turning to look her in the eye.

She paused to think, and then shook her head slightly. "I'm afraid for you," she said, and Harry could hear that she was speaking their twin language. "I feel what a mess you still are, in your head. And it all calms down when you're focused on Malfoy, but then you're focused on Malfoy and not any of the things you should be thinking about right now."

Harry let the words wash over him, feeling the subtleties of meaning through his link with Ginny. And he saw everything that she was worried about—both what she said aloud, and what she held back. It did have to do with his behavior lately, and it had a lot to do with Malfoy. But Ginny was very shaken by the morning's events. She put on a really good strong front. It had even fooled Harry.

He hugged her tightly. "I'm okay," he whispered into her. "If Malfoy hadn't been there, you would have saved me, I know it."

"I thought it was a prank," she whispered back, her voice shaking slightly. "And anyway, if that stunning spell had hit you, I would've been out too."

Harry shook his head. "Ginny, _you've_ stunned me before and stayed awake through it. That's not even possible, but you did it."

"We weren't taking it seriously at all though," she said, and her voice was angry. "And then Malfoy said he was with you and your thoughts scattered so that you didn't even recognize it when you saved him from the killing curse. Like it was no big deal for you to hear those words."

Harry squeezed her tighter. "You know I've heard those words hundreds of times. I've said those words."

"No you haven't, Harry! Snape has. That's not really you!"

"But it feels like me. And it gives me strength." He paused, remembering his own life, and trying to separate it from the life he took from Severus. And for a moment, Harry was afraid. "I'm calm when I'm focused on Severus. I'm calm when I'm focused on you."

He pulled away and looked her in the eye. "Ginny, my head isn't straightened out yet. We both know that. But it is getting better. The problem is that life is also just really, really messed up right now. It stands to reason that I'm so confused—because everything is so confusing."

Ginny nodded and spoke almost inaudibly, so that Harry heard her thoughts more than her words, "I almost lost you this morning. And Malfoy's been messing you up for so long, but was the one to save you. And just… my sense of you keeps shifting. It's like I'm bonded with twenty different people."

Harry smiled despite himself. "And I have one consistently strong twin to keep me grounded."

Ginny gave him a friendly glare and thought, 'Stop trying to flatter me, Harry Potter.'

Harry grinned. "Malfoy thinks you're scary," he said, and Ginny laughed. "Really. Of course, I agreed with him and said I was glad I was on your good side, and he said I was lucky for that."

"Shut up," laughed Ginny.

Harry smiled, but looked her in her eyes seriously. "As messed up as I am right now, do you ever regret becoming my twin?"

"No," she said immediately. Then she paused to make sure. "No, I don't. I'm just… Harry, I'm not used to being afraid. I don't really know what to do about it."

"Neither do I, Ginny. Neither do I."

He slung his arm over her shoulder and they walked to the library in silence. Their minds were opened to each other, and they enjoyed the closeness of just being together, and being open, and being alive.

When they entered the library, Malfoy was already there, talking at a table in the corner with Hermione. Ron was browsing the shelves. When Malfoy saw Harry and Ginny approaching arm in arm, his eyes flickered with jealousy, but he quickly checked it.

"Potter," he said, with relief evident in his voice, "Granger's been telling me about the prophecies and your studies into dark magic to find a way to kill Voldemort's soul."

Ginny turned to Hermione with eyebrows raised. Hermione pretended not to notice.

"Honestly," continued Malfoy, speaking eagerly, "I really wish you had told me all of this earlier—not that I blame you for not telling me, mind you. Under the circumstances I wouldn't have told me either. But I'm glad you've been doing _something_.

"The thing is," he said, "Killing souls is legendary magic—in the sense that it's the stuff of legends. It's not real. And that Dementor story is babble. Dementors have been around longer than wizards."

"How do you know?" asked Harry.

"It's that muggle thing… the… what did you call it?"

"Grim Reaper," supplied Hermione. "Turns out it's real. Before wizardkind organized itself into modern civilization, Dementors were apparently unchecked in bringing living death to people. It's just a myth now to muggles."

"Thanks to wizards," said Malfoy pompously.

"What about killing souls?" asked Ginny, doing her best to ignore Malfoy's superior tone.

"It can't be done. Not by wizards, at any rate. It is believed that Dementors actually do completely destroy the souls they consume, because there's not a known case of a successful séance with someone who was given the Dementor's kiss."

Harry shuddered involuntarily, remembering being limp and helpless as the Dementors closed in on him, and one removed it's hood. Ginny grabbed his hand, and Harry washed away the memories and pulled himself back to present.

"What you should be focusing on," said Malfoy, his eyes catching ever so briefly on their clasped hands, "Is trying to sever Voldemort's link with the living. Most souls, after their bodies die, are sucked into another plane of existence. But Voldemort's done something that keeps him here. Have you really not talked to Severus? He should know a good deal about it."

Harry sat up abruptly and Ginny turned to him. "Harry, do you-?"

Harry shook his head and said in their twin language, "Give me a second." He thought through Severus' memories that he had, but he couldn't remember anything about how Voldemort kept his soul from dying. "I can't believe that never occurred to me," said Harry. "But no, I don't remember anything. Those memories are gone if they were ever there."

Malfoy raised his eyebrows. "Have you talked to him or not?" he asked.

Harry turned to him and said in English, "No, I haven't. I'll do so."

Hermione sighed, "Well, that's settled. I'm gonna go find Ron." She jumped up with a satisfied smile, and began searching through the shelves for her boyfriend.

'She's acting strange,' thought Harry and Ginny to each other at the same time.

'Do you mind…?' thought Harry.

'I'll find out,' replied Ginny, and she got up to follow Hermione.

Harry watched her go, and then turned to Malfoy. "Did you talk to Severus?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Is everything okay between the two of you now?"

Malfoy nodded. "I think so."

Harry noticed that he was avoiding his eye, but he let it drop for the time being.

XIXIX

At lunch, Harry looked over the Ravenclaw table for Luna, but she was absent, as were several other fifth years, and Professor Flitwick.

"She's having a hard time of it," said Hermione quietly, and Harry nodded his understanding.

"Hermione has something to tell us," said Ginny pleasantly.

Hermione narrowed her eyes.

"Go on," urged Ginny.

"What is it?" asked Ron.

Hermione turned to him and sighed deeply as though screwing up her courage to announce something truly embarrassing. After a very long pause, she whispered, "I'm a Seer."

"What!" Ron and Harry exclaimed simultaneously.

"Well, at first when I went to Sybil for those lessons, I was just pretending so that she would let me read her books, but then—then, I started having minor visions. It was like," she paused, briefly furrowing her eyebrows, "Something would dawn on me and I would know it to be true, but it was something I had no way of knowing."

"The battle prophecies," Harry realized. "You knew they would be there, and you knew where to look before you checked."

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, stuff like that."

"And today…?" asked Ginny proudly, although she clearly already knew.

"When I was hit with that stunning spell, I Saw everything that happened while I was out—and then I Saw what would happen in Dumbledore's office, and then I Saw us outside with Luna and Crabbe," Hermione shuddered. "And that we were going to go to the library with Malfoy and that he would help us get on the right track with our research," she breathed. "And he really _does_ want to help," she finished, turning to Ron as though pleading for him to accept Malfoy into the fold.

Ron nodded. "It was just hard sitting there with him, that's all."

Hermione smiled. "Anyway, it was the most intense and vivid vision I've had yet. I'll have to talk to Sybil about it this afternoon. She'd want to know."

Ginny grinned at her and Hermione rolled her eyes. "Okay, so I was wrong about her. She's not a complete phony." Harry and Ron laughed and Ron put his arm around her.

"Hermione, this is bloody brilliant!" he said. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

Hermione smiled sheepishly. "I thought you would make fun of me."

"No way for that," said Harry. But then he grinned devilishly, "So what am I about to say?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You're about to apologize to me for that."

"You're right. I'm sorry," he said, and in such a sincere tone that Hermione had to laugh.

"Hermione," said Ginny slowly, as though trying to work something out in her head, "What was it about Luna and Crabbe anyway—I mean, something else was supposed to happen, wasn't it." It was not a question.

Hermione nodded solemnly. "That Auror nearly killed Crabbe. And Luna wouldn't have made it after that. She blames herself, you know. If he had died… well…"

"Merlin…" whispered Harry. "You saved Crabbe's life."

Hermione shrugged. "A lot of that going around today, huh?"

"I don't know how you can be so blasé about it, 'Mione," said Ginny.

"No kidding," said Ron, looking at his girlfriend with awe.

Hermione turned back to her lunch, taking on a sensible air that clearly stated she wanted the subject dropped. But then she said, "Oh yeah, Harry, you have to talk to Snape soon, but don't push anything with him, okay?"

Harry gave her a weird smile. It was strange getting cryptic advice from Hermione the Seer. "Okay," he said.

He looked up to the head table and saw Severus deep in conversation with Professor Sinistra. He would try to talk to him this evening. He turned his head to the Slytherin table, caught Malfoy's eye and smiled. Malfoy smirked back and nodded his head in acknowledgement.

Merlin, it was nice finally being able to do that.

XIXIX

It was only because Harry wanted to go alone that he used his invisibility cloak when he headed down to the dungeons that evening after dinner. It was before curfew, but more importantly, word had spread around the school of Harry's visit to Severus' chambers on the night he was attacked—and that they had even shaken hands. So Harry had nothing to fear by revealing that they were on speaking terms.

However, he didn't want to waste his energy expanding his consciousness to fill the hallways so he would know who was lurking around every corner. The invisibility cloak was a simpler form of safety, so it was what Harry chose to use.

He figured Severus would be in his quarters, but as he passed the Potions classroom, he noticed that the door was ajar. He pushed it open a bit further and peered in. Severus was busy brewing in the front of the classroom, entirely absorbed by his work—so absorbed actually, that Harry wasn't sure if he had noticed the door move when he entered. He walked quietly to the front of the classroom and stood nearby, watching Severus for what seemed a long time. He was clearly meditating on something. He was brewing to relax, and Harry couldn't help but notice that Severus looked much calmer than he had seen him all week.

Harry wondered if he should disturb him or leave, and finally decided to let him know he was there, and offer to come back another time. He gently opened his mind and Severus startled, dropping a vial he had just emptied into his potion. It shattered on the floor and he swore.

He looked up to glare at the empty space before him, and Harry noted that there was real anger in his expression.

"I'm sorry," whispered Harry quietly. "I'll leave you alone." He turned to go, but Severus waved his wand and the door closed and locked.

"Is there something you need from me, Mr. Potter?" he asked calmly, but Harry heard the bite in his voice.

"I wanted to talk to you about killing Lord Voldemort."

"I see." Severus cast a Stasis Charm over his cauldron and repaired the broken vial. He then walked into his office, indicating that Harry follow him. Harry did so, removing the invisibility cloak behind Severus' back. Severus seated himself at his desk, and Harry sat across from him. "What do you want to know?"

"Can it be done?" he asked. "More specifically, can whatever Voldemort has done to himself be undone? I can't find any memory of it."

"That is because I have no memory of it. He had been experimenting on himself for decades before I joined the fold. I do not know the extent of the magic that is holding him to this world."

"Is there any way to truly destroy him?" asked Harry.

"If there is, Mr. Potter, you'll be the one to do it, I'm sure."

Harry cut him a look. "That's not helpful to me, Professor," he said, following suit with the use of formalities.

"I am sorry to disappoint."

They held each other's eye for a long moment. Severus' face was completely inexpressive; his voice had been as calm as he could make it.

Harry sat forward and opened his mind so that Severus could read him as he liked, and he thought to him, 'Sev, what's wrong?' He let his concern flow freely, with his Occlumency shields down completely so that Severus could look anywhere without Harry knowing it.

Severus averted his eyes—a clear sign that he was not going to look into Harry's mind—and Harry wasn't sure if he should be pleased that his trust would not be taken advantage of.

"I was worried about you," he said quietly.

"I assure you I am quite alright," replied Severus.

"You don't seem to be."

"Not everything is as it seems, Mr. Potter," and Harry couldn't help feeling that Severus was referring to Malfoy.

He raised his shields again and Severus turned back. Looking him in the eye, Harry asked, "What do you want me to do, Severus?"

"I don't want you to come sneaking down here again. If you require my attention, you can walk down before curfew and knock on the door like any other student."

Harry opened his mouth, but closed it again as Hermione's words echoed through him. '_Don't push anything with him…'_

"Okay," he said. He looked away for a few moments, and then asked, "What do you suggest I do about Voldemort?"

Severus blinked once, slowly. "I'm trying to find something," he said. "I'll let you know."

Harry nodded. "And my training?" he asked.

"Continue to practice with Ms. Weasley. I will speak to the headmaster about continuing your lessons, as I do not feel I can help you any further."

Harry looked at him in disbelief. "But—!"

"Mr. Potter, I believe our link causes more harm than good at this point. You will benefit more if Professor Dumbledore were to instruct you."

Harry just looked at him, his mouth slack, and he knew he wasn't covering the hurt in his eyes. Severus was washing his hands of him. Harry wanted to know why, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. His pride was stopping him. Or was it Severus' pride within him?

He reigned in his features until his face was as inexpressive as the Potions Master's. "Very well," he said. "I thank you for all the help you have given me, and I'm sorry to have wasted your time this evening. I'll see myself out." He nodded briefly. "Professor."

Ginny was waiting for him just inside the common room, and she hugged him tightly. Hermione and Ron were there a moment later.

"What's wrong?" asked Ron.

Harry turned to Hermione. "Would it have gone worse if I had pushed him?"

Hermione nodded, her face twisted in sympathetic sadness. "Yes," she said quietly. "Much."

Harry looked around the room, but saw nothing. "Thanks then," he mumbled absently, and headed up to bed.

Hidden behind the curtains of his four-poster, he tried to work on some homework assignments, but was so distracted that he hardly got anything done before evening roll call.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Oops. The shit hasn't hit the fan all the way yet. This chapter would be as long as the Bible if I held out for the fan-hitting shit. So, um, soon, okay?

SheWolfe7: Thank you! And yes, the final push is coming… any time now…

Malfoysnogger: Hopefully, things will continue to get more interesting.

Charmed 88: Well, if you lived through your spacers and are reading this, thank you.

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TheTrueSilver: Thanks!

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Teira: Thanks! Glad you enjoy.

BratPrincess-187: Thanks. And yeah, but you know? I'm thinking the engagement is off now. :p

Isis-mystic: Yeah, Harry's in love. Who knows if Ginny will follow suit. Hopefully they'll get a handle on that before anything weird happens. And you can thank Virgin Suicide for the story book thing- her idea totally!

Redmeadow: Thank you. Seriously. Most anti-Ginny people just say, Blech! Ginny, but I don't get reasons behind it. So thanks for clarifying.

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Dracos-hot: giggles and blushes Wow you know how to make a girl feel good about her fic! Glad you like it so! And as far as not updating on days you have to work… um… that could be difficult. Why don't you just quit your job and drop out of school and just wait around on the computer all day for me to update? I mean, ahem… yeah, sorry. Can't help you there. Peace, chickie!

Anni: Thanks! And I could promise that Draco's not going to die in the end, but what's the fun in that? ;)

Relle: Ginny offered me sweets to exchange myself with you for a day. So I'll take over your life and you take over mine, and I get candy, and you're at the mercy of Ginny… bwahahahahaha!

Pure Black. See what I can do, 'kay?

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Sati White: Thank you. As a matter of fact, when I finish the push to end some fanfics I'm working on, I'm going to start cranking out my original novel. It's been a long time coming.

Takuto-kun: Glad you like it, and damn! I forgot to go read the Krankheit translation! Must go do that straight away! And hmm… my German sucks. I'll try again another time, but not up for it right now. Later.

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Chekiita: Yeah, he is, isn't he? But you gotta love him

Firestar: Well put. Thank you.

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Slice: rolling on the floor engaging in a tickle fight with Slice No, no, no! You rock! Your reviews always make me laugh maniacally! And I need a good laugh this week, so thank you muchly! Sorry for the long wait, and hey, loved the latest of TQaF—I don't think I reviewed (bad me!) But I did love it! I mean, if the V-man can make Sev lose control like that, he is one scary mother-fucker!

Jeannie81: Thanks! That's exactly how I imagined it too (which, I guess grins sheepishly is why I wrote it like that…). Thanks for the review!

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Hake Balms: Hey, thanks for the in depth review! I'm glad that so many things caught your attention. I love getting reviews that mention certain parts people like or dislike, and it made me quite happy to read yours! And sorry 'bout the cliffhangers. I can't help it most of the time. My chapters are vicious and the threaten me if I don't end them where they want to end… But really, thank you muchly for the review!

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	22. And So It Begins, Part One

A/N: This is a very long chapter, in part to make up for such a long wait. I've been working 60ish hour weeks for the past month, and didn't really have much time to write. Anyway, this is only the first part of this chapter. The entire chapter is written, but I'm out of town right now, and I couldn't give my betas time to do their business. Dowland suggested that I break up the chapter 1) because it is so long; 2) to give the betas time to at least beta the second half; and 3) to alleviate your wait, faithful readers, because I'm going to be away from writing for about a month. This way you get another update in the meanwhile.

But Thanks especially to CS Whitewolf who somehow did manage to make time to beta even though I gave her no time, and then didn't complain when I originally forgot to thank her.

And thanks also to Dowland for betaing, and telling me when I suck and when I rock.

X

XIX

XIXIX "And So It Begins, Part One" XIXIX

"Don't ask," said Ron. "Just make the call."

Hermione pursed her lips disapprovingly and repeated once again, "We have to tell him beforehand."

"We told him last week," Ron reasoned. "He already knows."

"We didn't say when. We just said today, and he said we needed to discuss it with him again when we chose a time."

"I'm telling you," Ginny said, not really taking sides, "He's not going to allow it."

"Which is why we shouldn't ask," whispered Ron pointedly. "If we don't ask we're not disobeying."

Hermione was exasperated. "That's the worst logic, Ron."

"Alright, stop," Harry commanded, tired of listening to their bickering. He took a deep breath and reviewed, "Okay, we need to train the DA for war, which, if these attacks are any indication—"

"And they are," added Ginny.

"Agreed," said Hermione.

Harry nodded. "Then war is upon us. But we've had four Death Eaters polyjuiced to look like students and three more Death Eater students attack in the last week, and there is no way in hell that Dumbledore is going to let us have a galleon call today because it offers too many opportunities for an actual attack."

"He might," said Hermione, but Harry could tell not even she believed it.

"Alright," said Harry. "So… I'm going to ask anyway, because miracles do happen."

Ron rolled his eyes, but Hermione nodded her approval.

"In the meantime," continued Harry, "Can you guys organize some platoon scrimmages? See if you can come up with some obstacles for the Room of Requirement. We still need to train, even if we can't have a large-scale war game."

"On it," said Ginny. She shoved away her breakfast plate and looked at Ron and Hermione expectantly. Hermione pushed away her finished plate away as well. Ron looked down sadly at his unfinished second helpings.

"Oh, all right…" he said, getting up.

Harry glanced up at the head table and noted that Dumbledore had not come down to breakfast. His gaze lingered on Severus momentarily, and though Harry knew he could feel him watching through their link, Severus did not indicate having noticed.

Sighing, Harry followed his friends out of the Great Hall. They turned toward the Room of Requirement, and he turned toward the Headmaster's office, broadening his consciousness to feel everyone in his proximity. After a minute of walking, he smiled. Malfoy was rushing up behind him, and moving rather silently, Harry noticed.

Except for Malfoy, he was alone in the hall. He paused his step and cocked his head as though he heard something, giving Malfoy a chance to catch up with him. Two strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him back against an inviting chest. Malfoy had his wand in his hand and laid it flat against Harry's neck.

"Come with me if you know what's good for you," he whispered urgently, pulling Harry backward.

Harry let himself be led into a darkened classroom with no exterior windows. With a wave of his wand, Malfoy closed and locked the door, and lit one of the torches. Another flick of his wrist and he cast a silencing spell. He pushed Harry away and pointed his wand at his heart. Harry raised his hands in surrender.

Malfoy smiled maliciously.

"Silencing spell?" whispered Harry. "You put one on your shoes too?"

"And my robes," said Malfoy, training his wand on Harry. "They rustle when I run. It's very loud. Take your clothes off." Malfoy glared at him expectantly.

Harry smirked. "Definitely good for me…"

Half an hour later, two very happy sixteen-year-olds made their way down the halls toward Dumbledore's office. Malfoy was looking at Harry doubtfully, but said nothing. Harry responded anyway.

"I just have to ask him if we can have a galleon call today. It's nothing official, and he's not going to kick you out of his office."

"I could meet you afterward."

"You could also come with me…"

"Why are you even bothering to ask? You know he'll say no. Just go ahead and do it."

Harry laughed. "That's what Ron said."

Malfoy groaned. "You did not just compare me to the Weasel."

"Watch it, Ferret Face."

"Sod off, Scar Head."

The gargoyle leapt aside as they reached it. "Funny," said Harry. "I guess he was expecting me." The two climbed the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Come in, Harry," called Dumbledore from within.

Harry pushed the door open and saw Dumbledore and Lupin sitting inside drinking tea. They had apparently just finished a rather large breakfast.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy," said Dumbledore. "I suppose I should have been expecting you as well. As it was, I figured that Mr. Potter would have rushed to my office this morning before breakfast with his Gryffindor friends to inquire about a 'galleon call' for the DA."

Harry smiled shyly. "No, we went on to breakfast so that we could argue about whether or not you would permit it, after recent events."

"And what was the verdict?"

Harry shrugged. "That miracles do happen, so I should go ahead and ask."

Dumbledore laughed, "Yes, miracles do indeed happen."

"So we can have the galleon call?"

"Not a chance," said Lupin, unable to hide his amusement at Harry's fallen expression. "But maybe we can do something just as good."

XIXIX

The DA was going to practice every weekend against a variety of dark creatures in the Room of Requirement with Professor Lupin in lieu of large-scale war games. Harry loved the idea, remembering the warning that Luna had given him about the migration of dark creatures. When he mentioned it, neither Dumbledore nor Lupin seemed surprised.

But when Harry told his friends later, Hermione scoffed. "Did she say _what_ creatures?"

"Well, no," said Harry. "We were kind of interrupted when Crabbe stormed out… shit, probably because I was talking with her alone."

Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'm not saying it's a bad idea. I think it's a very good one actually. But _Luna_, Harry…"

"I thought you were friends with her now," shot Harry defensively.

"I am, but you have to admit that she does have a tendency to…"

"To what?" he snapped, quite peeved at Hermione's insinuations.

Hermione sighed. "To believe in things that don't exist," she said finally.

"Like unicorns?" he countered. "Or vampires?"

Malfoy gave him a weird look. "Uh… Potter?"

Exasperated, Harry turned to him and said, "Malfoy, I know that unicorns and vampires exist. My point is that Hermione and I were both raised in a world that doesn't believe in them."

Malfoy laughed. "Muggles don't believe in vampires! Ha! I guess that's how vampires get away with killing so many of them!"

Harry and Hermione both turned unimpressed gazes to Malfoy before looking back to each other.

"Do you at least accept my point?" asked Harry with a forced calm.

"Yes. Do you accept mine?" asked Hermione pointedly.

"You know she's right, mate," said Ron.

"It's not just Luna's word anyway," said Harry. "Lupin and Dumbledore obviously think there is reason for us to be training against dark creatures."

"And I said I think it's a good idea," said Hermione.

Harry held her eye and then nodded. "I'll ask Luna what creatures are involved in this migration…"

"Okay," said Ginny loudly, interrupting before things could escalate again. "Is everything settled? Can we get to work now?"

XIXIX

The Room of Requirement had changed quite a bit that afternoon when the DA responded to the galleon call. The main room looked like one of the classroom hallways of Hogwarts, complete with both locked and unlocked doors that led into a variety of classrooms. Harry and Ginny led the DA in platoon scrimmages in the "hallway" and in and out of the "classrooms."

At the end of the hallway was one special classroom, marked by a red door. This room was off limits to the scrimmages as that was where Lupin was supervising the training against dark creatures. Today the Room of Requirement was providing a fully-grown mountain troll. The older platoons were taking turns with Lupin, learning and practicing techniques to topple, and then entering the room to do battle with the troll. After each group left and the door was closed, the Room of Requirement replenished the fearsome creature.

"You've got a good thing going here, Harry," Lupin said, as the DA was leaving.

"I've got a good group," said Harry. "Good leaders, too."

"You inspire them," said Lupin, but Harry shrugged him off.

"Are you going to be around for awhile?" he asked.

Lupin nodded. "Albus has asked me to stay on and supervise the DA. Do you mind?"

"I think it's great that you're staying. I'm sick of visiting you at St. Mungo's!"

Lupin laughed. "And I'm sick of being there. But no—I meant about supervising the DA."

Harry shrugged. "I don't suppose it would hurt to have back-up."

"Not that you're hurting for it. Your circle of friends is quite formidable. And Albus told me that the DA has united the school in a way he hasn't seen in many decades."

"Really?" asked Harry, somewhere between embarrassed and proud. "Wow."

"So how are other things? How's your… erm…" Lupin cast about for the right words, but awkwardly settled on, "How's your head?"

Harry looked away. "Still sorting that out. I'm going to work with Ginny some more this week."

"What does Professor Snape say?"

"To work with Ginny. And when I'm ready he'll have Dumbledore continue my Legilimency training."

Lupin narrowed his eyes slightly. "Why isn't he still training you?"

Harry's eyes were dark, and he still did not meet Lupin's gaze. "He said our bond is getting in the way of my training."

Lupin was silent for a moment, and then asked quietly, "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No," said Harry immediately. "You'd probably just make it worse." He gave Lupin a small smile, and Lupin let it drop.

XIXIX

By breakfast Monday morning, rumors were spreading around school that Harry and Malfoy were not only friends, but were seeing each other, and had been for quite some time. Half the school didn't believe it. Among the other half, strong opinions abounded.

Most of the school claimed not to like Malfoy, but most of the school had at some point or other had a crush on him, so there was some obvious overlap there. Most of the school had a crush on Harry, but most of the school had at some point or other rather openly hated him but would no longer admit to ever having felt that way. What resulted were some very heated arguments dealing with who was too good for whom, who was using whom, and who did not deserve whom. These arguments were always preceded or followed by someone else stating the blatantly obvious fact that, by Merlin, there was no way Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were together. At least, not '_together_' together.

Per usual, all of this was going on behind Harry's back, so of course, he was very much aware of all of it, and thoroughly mortified. Ginny was glaring at their friends to get them to stop teasing him, but it wasn't helping because Harry could feel her own amusement through their twin bond.

"I think it's romantic," said Dean in a sweet falsetto to a table-full of snickers.

"Shut it, Dean!" snapped Ginny, only barely choking back her own laughter.

"That's it," grumbled Harry. He grabbed his book bag and stalked from the Great Hall. But not five feet into the hallway, Malfoy caught up with him, having rushed to exit breakfast with Harry.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" he asked, but was met with a glare.

"Away from that mess. Doesn't it bother you?" Harry asked when Malfoy just smiled at him.

"Potter, you really gotta learn how to deal with notoriety." Harry rolled his eyes and kept walking. "I mean," continued Malfoy, "You're Harry fucking Potter. Of course it's a big deal when people start wondering if you're shagging Draco Malfoy. That's big news, you know?"

"It's nobody's fucking business," said Harry.

"That has nothing to do with it. Look," he grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him to a stop. His eyes bored into Harry's for a moment before he asked, "Do you want the rumors to stop?"

"Yes."

"Then stop hiding. If we're seen together, then people will know we're together. Presto… nothing more to talk about."

Harry cut him a look. "Malfoy, I'm Harry fucking Potter. There's always something to talk about."

Malfoy nodded. "Okay, point made."

"And anyway, what brought on this change? A few days ago you were pissed beyond reason that I told three people. Now you want the whole world to know?"

Malfoy stepped back and leaned casually against the wall. "Things change."

"Apparently," muttered Harry mockingly.

"I'm serious. You were right about how I couldn't hide our relationship from Voldemort. I was going to choose you discreetly, but then when I heard what Crabbe and Goyle were supposed to do… well, that idea was banished. I had to act, and now people know."

Malfoy sighed deeply and caught Harry up in a penetrating stare. "Before, I wanted to keep it a secret for my own safety. But now Voldemort knows. My father knows. I've turned on them. I'm shagging their enemy." Malfoy put a hand over his heart and said with overacted seriousness, "My life is at a fixed rate of danger, regardless of how I go about squashing rumors at school in order to keep The Boy Who Lived from getting too embarrassed to shag me."

Harry grinned and looked away. Malfoy looked really alluring and Harry was beginning to wonder if there was a hiding place nearby that they could use.

"So, what will it be, Potter?" asked Malfoy, his voice as smooth as silk. "Drawn out embarrassment as rumors make their way through the school, or a moment of humiliation after which time there is no denying to anyone what is going on between us?"

Harry looked up, taking in the sight before him. Malfoy was leaning cool against the wall like he didn't have a care in the world. His eyes were fixed on Harry. He licked his lips and Harry stepped forward without realizing he had done so.

"What do you have in mind?" asked Harry.

They heard the muffled noise of crowds leaving the Great Hall, growing louder and heading their way.

"Come here," whispered Malfoy.

Harry took another step forward and dropped his bag to the floor as Malfoy reached up and snaked his fingers around Harry's neck, pulling him in, tasting him gently. Lost again, Harry hardly noticed when the crowd finally reached their hallway. And as he pulled away he found that he didn't much care what their reactions were.

He slipped his hand into Malfoy's and said, "Come on, walk me to class."

Harry and Malfoy were together in between classes as much as possible. It was a bit of a rush to Harry, getting to stand next to Malfoy in public and not having to feel jealous or slighted because someone else was draped on the blond. Harry knew that people were still watching them and talking _a lot_ about them. So he took time to reason out that talk about their relationship was serving, for a lot of the students, as a distraction from the war. It was a lighter topic of conversation when so many conversations dealt with such horrible things. So Harry tried not to focus on it too much. He just hoped that, like every other time, the focus on him would pass.

The only time he found himself in a hopelessly awkward situation was when Malfoy slid into the seat next to Harry and gave him a peck on the cheek before Potions. Severus was as aloof as ever, and Harry did not dare try to speak to him through the link. But he could not help but feeling that Severus' recent coldness to him had something to do with Harry's relationship with Malfoy. He wished there was some way he could distance himself from Malfoy just during that class, but Malfoy was already sitting next to him, already smirking suggestively, and then class had already begun.

During dinner, Ron and Ginny composed a letter to Percy to tell him that Hogsmeade had been cancelled and that he would have to contact Dumbledore if he wanted permission to come on campus to meet them this weekend.

While they worked on that, Harry sidled over to the Ravenclaw table and crouched down next to Luna. Word had it that she had gone to her classes today, but this was the first meal she had eaten in the Great Hall since Saturday morning.

"Luna, how are you?" he asked gently.

"Oh hi, Harry," she said absently as she and the girls surrounding her all turned to look down at him. "Do you want a roll?" she offered.

"No thank you," he said. "I was just wondering how you were doing."

She shrugged. "Better than some, I suppose."

Harry nodded. "Well, hey, we were going to meet in the library after dinner, do you want to join us?"

Luna gave him a small smile and scratched her head. Harry wondered briefly if she had understood what he just said. But then she asked, "Is Draco going to be there?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm…" Luna fingered one of her braids. "I have some things to do, you know?"

"That's fine," said Harry understandingly. "What about tomorrow afternoon? Just you and me."

"Yeah, okay," said Luna, looking around.

Harry smiled, glad she would talk to him at all. He wondered if she blamed him for coming between her and Crabbe, and for Crabbe's subsequent acceptance of the Dark Mark. He wanted to talk to her about all of that. He wanted to know how she was really doing.

He didn't know how he could possibly ask her about the migration. In the grand scheme of things, it was certainly more important, but standing next to his friend, Harry found himself more worried about her personal difficulties. And he didn't want to upset her any more.

That night in the library, four Gryffindors and one Slytherin sat in the Restricted Section of the library for just over an hour looking for Dark Magic that might sever Voldemort's unknown link to the world. It was frustrating to look for counter-magic when they didn't know what the original magic had been.

Tempers were beginning to run short when Hermione mentioned the leitmotiv of fear in the prophecies. She had a feeling it was important. Malfoy pointed out a bit snidely that Voldemort's greatest weapon was fear, so of course it was important. Then Ron said that Malfoy should not take that tone with his girlfriend and it degenerated from there until Harry walked Malfoy back to the dungeons.

They had a good snog in the hallway outside the Slytherin common room, and then Harry headed back to Gryffindor Tower alone. But along the way, he stopped by the Potions classroom to see if Severus was in his office. He was.

Harry knocked on the office door, feeling hurt and annoyed that he couldn't just use his link to alert Severus to his presence. But as it was, he had been trying to keep it as closed off as possible since he had spoken with Severus the other night.

Harry had had a million ideas about ransacking his professor's brain to find out why exactly Severus was doing this, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything so childish and desperate. So he grudgingly complied with the unspoken request to leave their link be.

"Come."

Harry opened the door slightly and peered in as tentatively as he would have, were he any other student in the school. "Professor?" he asked.

Severus did not look up. "What do you want, Mr. Potter?"

"Um…" Harry opened the door a bit further and stepped just inside the office. "Well, actually I came for… That is, I wanted…"

Severus looked up at him with his most disdainful glare. Harry hadn't seen that one in awhile. He cleared his throat and began anew, dropping the 'tentative student' act.

"I need to practice Legilimency and figure out how to separate my target's memories from my own."

Severus looked back down. "I thought I had made it clear that—"

"I need the pensieve," interrupted Harry. "I'm going to practice with Ginny, but I need the pensieve."

Severus did not look up, but he had stopped writing.

Harry continued, "I know you don't really want me down here, but I doubt you'll want me to take your memories up to Gryffindor Tower, so… what do we do?"

Severus sat back in his seat and fixed his eyes on a point about four feet to the left of Harry's shoulder. He was silent for a long time and Harry knew he was weighing the pros and cons of different actions. Harry had already weighed them. He knew what Severus was going to decide.

He would only feel his memories were safe if they were in his own keeping, and definitely not in a dorm room. Plus, Harry's problem had to remain a secret or else the Dark Lord might find himself with the unexpected knowledge of an extreme advantage.

"Wednesday night. Seven o'clock. You and Ms. Weasley are to be concealed under the invisibility cloak. You may practice in my quarters until curfew. Is that acceptable?"

Harry looked at him in silence, waiting for Severus to turn from his focal point on the wall. As soon as he met Harry's eyes, Harry nodded and said, "It is."

XIXIX

Harry was angry when he went to sleep that night, and he shortly found himself in Voldemort's head. But it wasn't anything like Voldemort's head. It was oceans of near-nothingness. It was a confusing vacuum of dark emotions, dark magic, and dark intentions. It was as far from human as Harry had ever experienced while in Voldemort's head. He was careful not to 'touch' anything while he was there. He did not dig. He did not look around. He disentangled himself and who he knew he was from the shadows that wrapped around him. He hastily surrounded himself with as many walls as he could manage to make, and woke himself up.

He was on the floor, shaking and sweating. Neville and Ron were standing over him, and Seamus and Dean were looking on from their beds. Neville crouched down.

"Harry, what is it?" he asked.

Ron handed him his glasses, and Harry looked around at his dorm mates. He had never in his life felt as scared as he was at that moment. He ran his hands through his hair and looked around absently.

"He is the essence of Dark Magic now," whispered Harry. "I don't know what he's playing at. I don't understand what he's done. There is nothing human left in him. It's only power… it's… it's only a shell."

Harry looked up to Ron, who understood strategy better than anyone he knew. "Why would he separate his consciousness from his control? How could that possibly be good for him?"

Ron crossed his arms and leaned back against the post at the foot of his bed. He narrowed his eyes and asked slowly, "Did he move it to someone else?"

"I don't know," said Harry. "Maybe."

"Well we know it's a power ploy of some kind, because it _is_ Voldemort." Neville, Seamus, and Dean all winced. "But to what end, I don't know. Maybe a way to achieve immortality—moving himself into another body? Or maybe… maybe he's trying to break your link. His words did seem to suggest that last time."

"What's going on?" asked Seamus, clearly not following the conversation.

"I don't know," said Harry honestly.

Neville looked at him intently. "It's coming," he said.

Harry nodded. "I just wish I knew _what_."

XIXIX

He never did get back to sleep that night, and as soon as McGonagall opened the wards that locked Gryffindor Tower, Harry was on his way to Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore served him some tea, and Harry explained to the best of his abilities the feeling of hollow power, of Dark Magic without intent, of the gulf of evil that seemed to be all that was left of Voldemort.

Dumbledore could not offer Harry any other theory on what the Dark Lord was up to, or perhaps, thought Harry cynically, he _would_ not. He was frustrated as he made his way through his classes, and it didn't help any when Malfoy threw a subtle fit at not being allowed to go with Harry to the library to meet with Luna.

"I am only saying," he said coldly, "That it is odd that Lovegood would want to meet with you alone so soon after her break with Crabbe."

Harry sighed deeply. He knew that Malfoy was not about to make a scene in the middle of the hallway, but he was making his jealous possessiveness clear, and Harry rather thought he could do without that at the moment. Even with the addition of Severus' collected control, Harry was still too much himself to be any match for a Malfoy in a public argument filled with so many subtleties.

"Look," he said, dropping his voice, "Luna and I are just friends, so if you could drop the insinuations, I would appreciate it."

"Of course, love," responded Malfoy without emotion. "Whatever you say. I'll just go work on my Potions homework. I hear Snape will give private tutoring in his quarters to certain students."

Harry tightened his mouth. "Right. This again. Tell you what. You go do that, Malfoy. And tell the Professor I said hi, will you? I'll see you at dinner."

Harry didn't wait for a response. He turned abruptly and headed to the library, and only as he sat down did it occur to him that Malfoy would be fuming, because 'nobody turns their back on a Malfoy,' no matter how much of a prick he's being. He groaned and put his head on the table. Why did he get the feeling he was going to have to apologize for Malfoy being a jealous prat?

"Hi, Harry," said Luna's voice above him.

Harry looked up and tried to smile.

"Rough day, huh?" she said. Harry nodded and she sat down across from him. "I've had a few of those recently myself."

"How are you doing?" he asked.

Luna shrugged. "I'm having a bit of a bad week, actually. I wrote my dad and he's going to come up and get me for the weekend. Well, just for Saturday night, really. But it will be nice to have a bit of a break, you know?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Spend some time at the Scribbler. Go to this little muggle restaurant in London that Mum used to love. Maybe go visit her grave. I dunno."

"Sounds nice."

"Yeah…"

They talked for two hours before Luna excused herself to go get caught up on homework. Harry hadn't been able to bring himself to ask her about the dark creature migration. He decided that whether or not it was true, it was best that they be prepared for it, which was exactly what Lupin was helping them to do.

XIXIX

Malfoy made his way to the Slytherin table in the Great Hall without glancing to see if Harry was already at dinner. But Harry had expected this and excused himself from his friends. He walked across the Hall and slid into the seat next to Malfoy. Malfoy ignored him.

Harry didn't bother to say hello, because he knew Malfoy would not respond to something so inane while he was angry. Instead, he began with, "I'll blow off my friends tonight if you have some time to spare."

But Malfoy didn't respond. He began to load his plate, acting casually as though Harry simply were not there.

"They're kind of pissed about it," said Harry, "But I figured I've already ignored you too much today."

Malfoy poured himself some pumpkin juice.

"I didn't bother eating at the Gryffindor table," said Harry, trying again. "I figured that you would either take pity on me and invite me to eat over here, or else you would punish me by making me starve."

No response.

"And if the latter were the case," he continued conversationally, "Then I would accept my fate of a hungry evening. But you should know that I fully intend to follow you around tonight, making one-sided conversation until you respond to me."

Malfoy sliced into his roasted chicken and began to eat. The other Slytherins seated around him were smirking surreptitiously, pretending for Malfoy's sake that they couldn't see the young Gryffindor who was doing his best to do the impossible—charm a Malfoy.

"So…" said Harry. "Did I ever tell you everything that I learned in my muggle elementary school?" A few of the Slytherins slipped for a moment and looked at him in blatant surprise that he would say such a thing at their table. Harry continued. "See, when I was five years old, I went to kindergarten. The first thing I remember learning is how to color inside the lines. Muggles, you know, have these things called crayons, which are little sticks of colored wax that you rub on paper in order to make pictures. I remember this one time we were coloring pictures of a rabbit in the forest, and mine was the best picture. The teacher even put it up on the board in front of the whole classroom. But then my cousin Dudley—real arsehole, mind you, even at that age—well, he was pissed off because I had done so much better than him, so—"

"Potter, shut up. Eat some dinner."

Harry grinned broadly into Malfoy's hard, disapproving eyes. "What? Don't want to know about my life?"

"Not about stupid shit like that. So eat something or go away."

Harry gave him a small salute and began to load his plate. The moment he looked away, Malfoy's expression softened slightly. Several of the Slytherins dropped their jaws.

XIXIX

After dinner, Malfoy took Harry to the Slytherin common room where they curled up on a very expensive-looking couch. They talked absently about minor worries—classes and Quidditch and next year's NEWTS and the like—intent on ignoring for at least a short time that they both had far more important concerns pressing down on them.

After awhile, the chairs and couches around them filled up with DA members who wanted to talk about their upcoming meetings, and which dark creature Lupin would bring next. When Harry had the gall to converse with them, Malfoy took it upon himself to glare until the other Slytherins began thinking of things they needed to be doing. Then he pulled Harry into his dorm room and locked the door.

Malfoy opened the trunk at the foot of his four-poster. Harry sat on the bed. As he looked around, he had the unsettling feeling that he was not actually in a dorm room, but in a museum. The place was elegantly decorated, and had a cold, pristine air that made Harry imagine little "Do not touch" signs on everything. He even felt guilty about sitting on the immaculately embroidered Slytherin green comforter on Malfoy's bed. He realized he had folded his hands in his lap like a small child about to be in trouble. He grinned and leaned back in a purposefully comfortable position.

"You said tonight was for me," complained Malfoy as he searched through his trunk, but Harry could tell he wasn't really angry.

"Hazard of dating Harry Potter. I'm either everybody's best friend, or everybody's worst enemy. There's no in-between, really. Few people are ambivalent."

"Yeah, well, part of being a Malfoy is that people leave you and your boyfriend the hell alone when you want them to."

"And you managed that quite well," said Harry with a smile.

Malfoy looked up with a smirk, but then narrowed his eyes and looked at Harry critically.

"What?"

"You, um," Malfoy cocked his head. "You don't fit in here."

Harry laughed. "Oh. I'll just be going then." He didn't move.

"No, I mean… you look out of place."

"I feel out of place."

Malfoy nodded sagely. "When we first made that truce in December, Persephone Hadens—you know her?"

Harry shrugged. "A bit. Seventh year, right? She came on Sunday to the DA, but she didn't really seem to care much whether she was there or not."

"Oh yeah," said Malfoy, and then he laughed. "Yeah, that's her. Just so you know, she's not with you or against you. She doesn't care about Voldemort or the war. She doesn't want power or prestige. Just wealth. All of her cunning goes to the end result of making her life as comfortable as possible. Plans on marrying rich, and living happily ever after."

"Ah," said Harry.

"She'll probably come to a few DA meetings, because that's what people are doing now, but she has no loyalties, or opinions really, for either side of the war. Anyway, my point is that in December, she came to me and said that a truce may be all well and good, but that I oughtn't have an actual _friendship_ with you because you would never fit in here."

Harry considered this as he looked around. "Maybe she's right." But then he thought about the Sorting Hat and corrected himself. "Then again, maybe not."

Malfoy grinned and turned back to his trunk. "Not that I'm putting a whole lot of stock in her opinion, mind you. She also told me Sunday morning that I shouldn't have turned against my family by saving your life like that—because without the Malfoy name, what good am I?"

Harry heard a couple of sharp snaps, and Malfoy pulled two letters out of the trunk. He looked back up, meeting Harry's eye, and said reasonably, "The thing she doesn't understand, though, is that being a Malfoy really isn't about having the name—at least, not if you do it well, which I do. Being a Malfoy is about attitude.

"You see, power is all an illusion. Nobody has power over other people. I have no power over the other Slytherins. My father has no power over politics. Voldemort has no power over the world. But we make people _think_ we have power over them, and then we do."

Harry sat up and looked at Malfoy seriously. "I never really thought about it like that. But like, the teachers here have power over the students."

Malfoy laughed. "What power? 'Do your homework.' Well, what if I don't want to? What can they do to me?"

"Bad grades. Detention. Expulsion."

"Yes! But that's really my own choice, isn't it? I know that I can do my homework or I can get bad grades. But what if I don't care if I get bad grades—how is that then punishment to me? Detention? So what. Expulsion? The same—life doesn't end when bad things happen, but a lot of people can't see that. People fear discomfort. That's where power comes in."

"But you're just changing your perception," reasoned Harry. "You're not actually changing anything."

"Potter, perception is _everything_. I choose to do my schoolwork because I want to learn. I want to be a powerful wizard. The professors don't make me do anything. I _choose_ to do it. And if I _choose_ not to, they can't hurt me. Maybe my life will change as a result of my choices, but it wasn't because of them. It was because of me."

Malfoy sat cross-legged on the floor, looking up at Harry. The letters were in his lap.

"My House mates found other things to do than talk with you because I wanted them to. A well-placed glare and a perceived threat to comfort go a long way. A sturdy reputation goes further. But these things are not real power. They're just perception. But they work."

"What about Voldemort?" asked Harry. "He _does_ have real power. He tortures and kills anyone who goes against him."

"Yes. Yes, he does. Two things about that. First," said Malfoy, holding up one finger, "The only true powers are creation and destruction. Creating something that isn't, or destroying something that is. That means that the only real power over another witch or wizard is the power of death. Voldemort knows this, and Voldemort uses this. Death is the only thing he fears. And that is why he fears you, a sixteen-year-old boy."

Harry nodded. "That's why he feared a one-year-old baby."

"Exactly," said Malfoy. "Although at the time, it was just a perception that you would one day be able to kill him, because you certainly weren't able to then. Well, at least not _fully_."

Harry was silent, thinking over the conundrum of real power versus the perception of power. Voldemort feared death, so he feared Harry. So Harry _necessarily_ had power over Voldemort whether he tried or not.

"The second thing," said Malfoy, holding up another finger, "Is that Voldemort tortures and kills _anyone_ who goes against him. But he couldn't possibly torture and kill _everyone_. There are too many witches and wizards against him. If they all rose up as one, he wouldn't stand a chance. But because he has tortured and killed in the past, people know he will continue to do so. People fear pain. They fear death. They will not rise up and risk themselves until they see there is no other way, and maybe not even then. Like I said: a perceived threat and a sturdy reputation. _That_ is where Voldemort's power is."

"But people are beginning to rise up," said Harry slowly. "They're banding together, risking their lives. That means that his 'power' is faltering."

"We know this," said Malfoy. "And Voldemort knows this. He is not going to let this continue. A Voldemort who is desperate to maintain power is a scary Voldemort. Something terrible is going to happen soon."

"I know," said Harry quietly. "It all points to that."

They sat in silence for several minutes, lost in thoughts of coming terror and what might possibly be done about it. Then Malfoy grabbed the letters out of his lap and stood up.

"On a lighter note," he said cheerfully as he sat on the bed next to Harry, "I have chosen to live."

"Good choice," said Harry. "What are you talking about?"

"The perception of power," said Malfoy. He dropped the letters into Harry's lap. "From my parents. Very lovingly and subtly informing me that if I don't leave Hogwarts I will be disowned."

Harry looked at him in surprise, although later he wouldn't have been able to explain _why _he was surprised. Malfoy held a carefully disinterested smirk on his face.

"I'll be killed if I go home," he said pleasantly, "And I'll be poor if I don't. And although I am sure it will be very uncomfortable to be poor, I have taken the power away from my parents in this situation by deciding that I don't care if I am poor, so long as I am still alive."

"Merlin's beard, Malfoy," whispered Harry. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, so am I. But they must not realize that I know that being a Malfoy is more than having a name and a lot of money. Because that's really all they can take from me."

Malfoy took the letters back from Harry unread, and locked them back somewhere in the depths of his trunk.

"But enough about that, Potter. Fancy a shag?"

Harry snorted and pulled Malfoy into his arms. Wrapped up in each other, they lay very still for a long time, content to be with each other. An hour before curfew, Harry checked his watch and said as though there had been no pause, "You know? I think I do."

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: To Be Continued…

Ryanaven: Why thank you. I'm glad you enjoy it. I hope this long wait for the update didn't hurt too badly. The next wait won't be quite so long, though. Promise.

The Shadow Bandit: Thanks. And well said about Lucius, but really, what else could be expect from him? Must keep up appearances, and all.

Draco Spanks Harry: Yeah, I guess now that you mention it, this story HAS had a lot of shit hitting the fan. So um, more to come, then.

Lady Liza Lupin: Hey, thank you. I do appreciate that.

Emeline: Hope that helped a bit with your H/D jonesing. There is always more to come.

Isis-mystic: Thank you. You'll know about Severus soon enough.

Elebereth: You, too, will know about Severus soon enough.

Hayley: Thank you.

SeppukuKoishii: Thank you. And we'll see what happens, yo.

Raven Deathstar: Thank you, and of course I will continue!

BlueXstar: Thank you! And wow, your bum must have been sore after that.

Jetta-monkey: Thank you. And hope you did well on your exam.

Tsyuno: Thank you.

Marcus-Au: Thank you very much. And all of the answers to these questions you will find, or just make them up for yourself. Either works for me. But please keep reading.

Soft Willow: Thank you.

Wintermoon2: Oh, you know I can't give away anything. But I'm really itching to. I wanna scream it all at the top of my lungs, but then people would look at me funny and wonder what the hell I was talking about. Ah well. Love ya, and see you soon!

Tarivi: (Chapter 13): Thank you very much. I'm glad you like it. And your English is fine. Thanks for reviewing!

Liber Creperum-Liber Diabolus: Mmm… popcorn…

Lady Kacey: Hey, thank you very much. I'm glad that you have enjoyed the story. There is still more to come, and a sequel in the works in my head (we'll see about that when the time comes). Peace out.

Slice LIVES: First off, I'm sorry 'bout your account, and second off, I hope you made it to Hawaii. Thanks for the long review. It's good to hear from my readers what works and what does not. Personally, I really think that Jealous!Draco works (people who are the most jealous tend to be people who cheat, and he DID kind of cheat on what's-her-face with Harry…). It just makes sense to me that he would act that way. Yeppers, have a good one.

Dracos-hot: Thanks for all the chapter-by chapter reviews. I couldn't believe that you not only liked it enough to read and review the first time, but then went back to read it again with more indepth reviews. Love it! You rock! And totally made my day, several times. So Hurray for Dracos-hot! Yay!

LadyLuck13: (Chapter 1) Indeed.

Nelia: I think I'm in love with you. Or maybe it's just that you stroked my ego so well with that review… I don't know. But really, um, wow. When I set out to write this story, those are all the things I had in mind that I wanted to accomplish, and I can't even tell you how I felt to have someone else tell me that I accomplished those things. I nearly cried. So really, if you ever need anything… a kidney or something… just let me know, okay? Peace.

Tigerlily0688: (Chapter 17): Thank you. I really enjoyed writing that one.

LadyLuck13: (Chapter 5): Evil gothic organ music played in the background as the characters strode boldly forth.

Marcus-au: Eep! Thank you. You agreed. I'm… oh…. Thank you.

Tigerlily0688: (Chapter 21): You know, I think that too, sometimes, that Ginny would be better for Harry. But being young and in love is so rarely about going out with the person who's best for you, you know? It's all about who can make life really interesting. And who's hot. ;)

Firestar: Hey thank you. I'm glad to know I've had an original idea or two when there really are so many stories out there with the same basic premise as mine.

Dracos-hot: (Chapter 14) lmao! The part where you say you've read a shitload of fics and your favorites tend to have more sex than mine, but I somehow still managed to make in on the list… really… rofl!

Shania Maxwell: Thank you, and she is, and I will.

Dracos-hot: (Chapter 17): No really, you are way-cool. Really.

Moonlit chaos: Thank you, I'm glad you like it. And your questions will have answer soon enough, chica.

Althalui: Thank you muchly.

Chaos-Chick3: I hear you. I'm also too lazy to leave a long resp…

Danizzle: Thank you. So much.

Dragenphly: Yeah, you know it really was like they were breaking up. Hmm. I guess it's the bond. That ups the ante, you know?

Verily: (Chapter 19): Malfoy thinks, 'Merlin he's so hot up there. What time is this meeting gonna end? Is he ever gonna quit blabbing I can drag him off and shag him silly?'

(Chapter 20): Is Malfoy's abrupt change making more sense now? It had nothing to do with Ginny's telling Harry to run after him—it was all about Malfoy realizing that if he wanted to survive, he really did have to follow his heart. And no, the 'You've changed' thing was in reference to him becoming more Snape-like… people realizing that's he's grown up a bit, and gotten a bit colder.

(Chapter 21): I hadn't noticed picking up the pace, but I'll keep an eye on that. And as for the cheese, what I cut out (not really) was, "Then Malfoy looked into Harry's eyes and sighed, saying, "Potter, talk dirty to me, sweet-cakes."

(Chapter 21): You know she saw that coming, right?

Inu400: thanks

Arisony: heehee. Let the smut live.

Jewelkitten: Thank you. I'm glad you've enjoyed it thus far.

Victoria Myer: Thank you. Okay!

Dahlias: I love you too, whoever you are. And yeah, they had it coming, and um, well, I don't deal with happily-ever-after, at least not in this fic. Happily ever after just isn't realistic. But as for how things are when the story ends… well, you'll just have to wait and see. (evil grin)

Dancing Wolf: Thank you!

Infinite 13: Thanks, but um, damn I wish you had suggested that many chapters ago, because now it's a little late to start adding in more characters. :(

Jellycatty: no probs, babe.

Dakota Reynolds: Thank you.

Jellycatty: No, really. I really am. Promise.

DC: Thanks

Charmed 88: Wow, thank you. You know, I love all of my characters equally, and I'm still not gonna give away what happens in the future. That's all I'm saying about that.

Distraught Soul: you'll know soon. Really.

Tygressatheart: Thanks. And you'll know soon too. Really.

Lanallel B.: (Chapter 16): If you got this far, then, well, I wanted this story to have realistic relationships, and that means that the guy you're with isn't the only one to have feelings for you, and sometimes is not the only one you have feelings for. Especially when you're talking 16-year-olds. And there's nothing wrong with that, that's just life. Hope it doesn't bother you TOO badly. Peace.

Butterflypersona: Thank you, and yeah… Lupin is a bit strong. That's kind of how I see him. Total sweetheart, unless you get him angry. Grrr.

Jade Beauty: Thanks.

Sen-Tay: No, no! You rock!

Alarivana Ciaernu: Erm… um… it'll all stop in just a few chapters… when the story ends.. um… sweats… it's okay… there, there…?


	23. And So It Begins, Part Two

A/N: The elusive Part Two of this chapter. I hope you guys like it. I made some minor changes in the last chapter—namely, I made Harry sixteen again (whoops!) and I also thanked CS Whitewolf for betaing Part One. I can't believe I missed either of those things.

This chapter, special thanks to CS Whitewolf and Virgin Suicide for betaing, and thanks to Virgin Suicide, Dowland, and my roommate for telling me repeatedly to get off my ass and get the next chapter going, already. Hopefully that won't be too long in the waiting.

Peace out, homies.

X

XIX

XIXIX "And So It Begins, Part II" XIXIX

Harry drummed his fingers on the table. Ron looked at him warily.

"I don't see why you don't just talk to him," he said, and Harry knew that he really didn't. He knew that Ron also didn't see why Harry cared so much about Severus anyway.

Ron knew about the night Harry saved his life, and about the Legilimency lessons, and the bond, and the possession. But even factoring all of that in, to Ron it was still just Snape, who, regardless of everything he had done for the Order, was still just an evil bastard and a mean teacher.

"It's his move," said Harry simply. "There's nothing I can do anyway."

"But you're obviously unhappy about it. Why just let it lie?"

"There are a lot of things I'm unhappy about," said Harry matter-of-factly.

Ginny looked up from her homework and asked Ron, "Why didn't you write Percy when he was being such a git?"

"Because he was being a git," said Ron indignantly. "I couldn't have chang… oh."

"Come on, Harry, it's time," said Ginny, closing her books.

"Yeah, don't mind me," said Ron sarcastically. "I'll just sit here alone while you go off doing important things, and Hermione's off in Trelawney's tower, and everyone does something useful except me…"

"Oh, bugger off, Ron," said Ginny.

"Harry!" exclaimed Ron, affronted. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that?"

"Shut up, Weasel Girl," said Harry, grinning.

Ginny and Ron laughed, but then Ron stuck his finger out and said, "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that that Malfoy bloke is being a bad influence on you."

"It would seem so, wouldn't it?" said Harry as he and Ginny headed out of the common room. Ron grumbled to himself as he began his homework.

"Do you want me to do all the talking?" asked Ginny helpfully as they headed down the tower steps.

"No. Thank you, but no. I'm tired of playing passive aggressive games. This is all on him, you know? I'm not going to make it easier on him by hiding behind you."

"Good," smiled Ginny. "I was trying to make it easier for you, but I didn't actually think it would help anything in the long run."

Harry smirked at her as they covered themselves in the invisibility cloak in the middle of an empty hallway.

On the way to the dungeons, they talked (silently, with direct thoughts) about the promise shown by Harry's recent visit to Voldemort's vacuous mind. Harry had neither gotten lost within, nor absorbed anything. It could either be a sign that his mind was finally growing stronger in itself, or that Voldemort's recent activities had somehow weakened their bond. This practice with Ginny should help them to determine which was the case.

Harry took a deep breath, and they entered Severus' office. Harry opened his mind to him casually, as he would have done prior to the recent rift in their relationship. Severus did not acknowledge in any way that he felt Harry's mind. But after a moment, he gathered his things and swept out of the office.

Harry closed their link again, only then allowing himself to feel any disappointment. Ginny squeezed his hand.

When they reached Severus' quarters, Severus brusquely stated, "Stinky serpent piddle."

Harry barely choked back his laughter, realizing that his practical joke had not ever ended. He quickly let Ginny in on the joke, and Severus had only just closed the door when Ginny burst out laughing. Harry pulled the cloak off, laughing himself. But Ginny was doubled over, clutching her sides.

"When you are quite through," snapped Severus in his most authoritative tone.

Ginny's laugh died and she straightened up. Harry glared at him in annoyance, but not in the way he had ever glared at 'Professor Snape'. He glared at him as though he were embarrassed by the way a friend was behaving.

Severus hesitated only slightly before striding to a locked cabinet on the far side of the room. Harry counted that as a minor victory. Ginny raised an eyebrow at him.

"Hey," he said in their twin language, "I'll take what I can get."

She grinned, but Severus said sternly, "You will not speak in your twin language while you are here. I would like to monitor your progress, Mr. Potter."

"Reconsidering, are you?" said Harry snappishly.

Severus did not respond, nor even look at him, as he carried the pensieve to the table in the sitting area.

'He really can't stand not being in control of a situation, can he?' thought Ginny sarcastically.

Harry considered this, thinking back to his conversation with Malfoy about power. He settled onto the couch with Ginny, facing each other.

'Do you think he's upset about the power I have over him? I mean, we're bonded and I have a bunch of his memories, but I'm just a lowly student.'

Ginny wrinkled her nose. 'Maybe. Maybe he's angry that he doesn't have as much power over you.'

Harry shrugged. 'Or that other people have as much,' he thought, referring to Ginny and, more specifically, Malfoy.

"I thought I made it clear that you were to speak aloud and in English," interrupted Severus.

Harry turned to him and abruptly dropped his Occlumency shields. He thought, 'You are a Legilimens and my bondmate. If you want to know what we are discussing, you need only _try_ in order to find out.'

At the same time, he said aloud, "You said the pensieve was mine. I keep it here while I am a student as a favor to you. If you don't like my being here, I can leave and take the pensieve with me so I'll never have to bother you again."

He turned back to Ginny without awaiting a reply and said in their twin language, "Are you ready? I thought I might search for pranks you've played on the twins—I know there have been quite a few."

Ginny was facing Severus. She glanced at him briefly and replied, "He's really pissed now, you know."

"I know," said Harry, his dismissive tone not quite hiding his regret.

Ginny decided it was best to let it slide. "Well, then. Let's go."

Harry dove in and began searching for memories. Within a few minutes, he was relatively certain that he was not absorbing them as his own memories. He remembered them from Ginny's point of view, of course, but he was feeling pretty confident that he could separate what was his and what was hers.

'Can you feel what I'm doing?' he asked, as he sorted through.

'I can feel it, but I don't quite understand it,' she thought back.

'Try to block it.'

She tried. 'I can't.'

'It's different, but not _that_ different, to what you do when you block our connection say… when Malfoy and I are together.'

Ginny giggled. 'Different how?'

'It's more specific. You're not blocking an entire bond, but specific magic. Focus in on the Legilimency, rather than on your twin.'

Ginny tried again. She was beginning to fumble when Harry was inspired to try to both communicate with her through the twin bond and use Legilimency at the same time. Using the twin bond, he showed her how the magic of Legilimency worked, and how she could counter it with Occlumency.

"Oh," she said aloud, and suddenly, Harry felt her countering his Legilimency with remarkable strength.

She sat back and the twins looked at each other in awe.

"Harry, you have an amazingly strong mind," said Ginny.

"It took me weeks to get as far as you just did in two minutes," Harry replied.

Ginny shook her head. "You do realize that you just did Legilimency at the same time as teaching me Occlumency through the bond, _and_ facilitating Occlumency in _my_ head! For the love of Merlin, Harry! If you can do all that…" Her eyes were wide as she searched for the right words. "I don't think a lesser wizard would have _survived_ the magic you've done in the past weeks. I mean, the possession, the magical shock…"

Severus stood up suddenly and retreated through a doorway that Harry had always assumed was the bathroom. A lingering sensation of guilt trailed behind him. A realization hit Harry like a ton of bricks, and he slumped sideways against the back of the couch.

"Oh, fucking hell."

XIXIX

Harry and Ginny moved to the library where they continued to practice Legilimency and Occlumency. Harry was having no problems distinguishing what was his and what came from outside. Ginny picked up not only Occlumency, but Legilimency as well, in the space of an hour and fifteen minutes. She kept crediting her remarkable progress to her bond with Harry, but Harry really wondered about that. He knew that Ginny was truly very powerful, but that evening, he was awed by her amazing control.

After roll call, Harry insisted that Ginny finish her homework. He worried that her grades would falter because she spent so much time helping him with all of his non-academic concerns. She gave in, but before she went to bed, she forced him into a quiet corner to discus whatever realization Harry had had about Severus.

"It's a lot of things," he said. "I thought it was that something had happened, and I was trying to think of what it could possibly be, but I was wrong there, because I'm pretty sure now that it's not any one thing."

And Harry dove in. It probably did have to do with the shift of power in their relationship, but that wouldn't be enough on its own, because Severus trusted Harry. But if you also factored in Severus' apparent inclination toward guilt, it would make sense that he blamed himself for Harry's recent troubles, and felt that their bond was actually putting Harry in danger. Then, maybe, he decided that it was a really bad idea for a teacher to have such close feelings for a student. Even if the student was Harry Potter, and not exactly a normal kid, he was still (physically, at least) nineteen years younger, despite the fact that Harry remembered having lived two lifetimes. Even if Severus was just using that as an excuse to back away, it was a bloody good excuse from a teacher's point of view.

"What about Malfoy?" asked Ginny. "Do you think there's jealousy involved?"

Harry nodded, "Quite possibly—which couldn't be a good feeling to have, jealousy of your teenage godson's boyfriend. Merlin, I've been such a prat. He has every reason in the world to want to distance himself from me. And of course the only way he knows how to go about it is to go back to the 'loathsome professor' role. Fucking hell."

"What are you going to do about it?" asked Ginny.

Harry shook his head. "What else can I do? I'll just let it lie. It's only temporary anyway, right? I mean, once he realizes I'm in no danger from the bond, and once… I don't know… he gets over me… Merlin that sounds conceited."

"Maybe, but it's true. He _will_ have to deal with his feelings for you. I mean, hell, even _I_ got over you, and if you listen to rumors lately, half the school thought we were gonna be married for sure."

Harry cut her a look, but when Ginny grinned he laughed.

XIXIX

Harry kept a respectful distance from Severus for the rest of the week. He didn't look at him when they were in the Great Hall during meals. They brushed past each other in the hallways as though they were any other student and teacher. Harry had a feeling, although no proof, that Severus knew Harry finally understood what he was doing, and had accepted it.

Harry tried not to worry about it anymore. He did his homework; he went to the DA meeting; he spent a lot of time playing interference between his friends and Malfoy. And he scoured the Restricted Section looking for a way to send Voldemort to the land of the dead.

'This is my life,' he thought dryly as he closed another dusty tome with no helpful information.

He sighed and looked around at his friends. Ginny and Ron looked similarly frustrated with their reading. Malfoy seemed to be absorbed in something, but Harry doubted it had to do with the task at hand. He had a bad habit of getting sidetracked when he came across interesting Dark Magic.

Hermione was reading through Trelawney's prophecy books again. She had looked perpetually worried for the past few days, but refused to talk about it except to say she had a really bad feeling that she was trying to figure out. They had learned pretty quickly that Hermione had quite a temper when they questioned her Seer 'feelings'. For the most part, they were still really sketchy. Trelawney told her that she would get better with time and practice, but Hermione was really sensitive when it came to obstacles that she couldn't overcome with books and reason.

"Come on," said Harry. "It's nearly curfew."

Malfoy glanced at his watch and rolled his eyes. He closed his book and looked around arrogantly. "Well, it has been an exciting Friday evening of studying with Gryffindors. Same time next week?"

Ron glared at him. "You don't have to come, you know. Just because _we_ care whether Harry lives or dies—"

"Ron," groaned Harry. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. When he opened them, Malfoy was smirking at Ron in a way that reminded Harry eerily of previous Potions classes when Malfoy would get Severus to yell at them.

Harry narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend, who gave him an innocent look that wasn't fooling anybody. As the two left for the Slytherin dungeons, Ron grinned behind Harry's back, knowing that Malfoy was about to be lectured for instigating with Harry's friends.

Harry lay in bed, staring lazily at the ceiling. His brain felt too full with concern. He knew he was going to need a lot of quiet time before he fell asleep that night. The rest of his dorm mates were down in the common room, which gave Harry plenty of time to meditate.

Not long before midnight, Ron and Neville came up to bed.

"What time is Percy getting here tomorrow?" asked Neville.

"Just after breakfast," said Ron. "We invited him to breakfast, of course, but he owled that he'd rather talk to us alone rather than in 'the uproar that is breakfast at Hogwarts'," he said, imitating Percy's pompous voice.

Harry grinned.

"Bet it's nice to have your brother back," said Neville cheerfully.

"Yeah," said Ron. "You know, it really is."

Harry focused on that thought. His curtains had been closed, but he could hear the smile in Ron's voice, and he felt truly good for his friend. Himself, he wasn't particularly looking forward to Percy's visit. He just thought of it as a necessary step for the Weasley family. It wasn't right for them to be split.

And with that, Harry finally drifted off to sleep.

He felt as though he had only just closed his eyes when he opened them again. His curtains were pulled back, and Dumbledore was standing over him.

"Wake up, Harry," he said gently, sadly.

Harry reached for his glasses, fearing the worst. When it was bad news, Dumbledore would send for you. When it was terrible, he would come himself.

Harry sat up, leaving his sleepiness behind. "What is it, sir?"

"Harry, come with me."

Harry stared at him in the darkness. He felt heavy with dread. "Who was it?"

"Come with me downstairs," said Dumbledore.

Ron stirred in his bed. "Harry, wuh'srong?"

"Can Ron come?" asked Harry, feeling like a coward for not wanting to be alone when he heard that someone he loved was dead.

Dumbledore paused for only an instant before nodding. Harry followed him downstairs into the common room with Ron stumbling at his heels. He could feel Ron trying to wake up. Harry wondered how early it was.

He started a mental list of who could have died. Lupin was still at Hogwarts, or at least, had been at dinnertime. Nicolas and Perenelle were in Africa with nearly twice as many guards than they had had when they started, as they picked up one or two from every place they went.

He hadn't gotten any further through the list when Dumbledore said, "Harry, the Dursleys have been killed."

For an instant, the dread washed away, and Harry thought, 'Oh, is that all?' But then he was hit with an emotion similar to what he felt for Sirius.

Harry realized that he was sitting on a couch with his hands gripping the cushion underneath him. He wondered when he had sat down. He wondered when he had turned to lead. He wondered how he could be feeling both relief and grief at the same time. He stared at a small tangle in Dumbledore's beard that was lighted by the glow of the fireplace. He wondered if Dumbledore had to brush his beard everyday.

"How?" he said, his voice blank.

Dumbledore shook his head and Harry knew they had been tortured first. "Harry—," he began, but Harry cut him off.

"How?" His voice was hard.

"They were… dissected alive. Vernon and Petunia were taken while en route from a business dinner. Dudley was taken from his dorm room at Smeltings. Their bodies were left in the park near their house."

Harry looked down and remembered Dudley and his friends chasing him around the schoolyard. He remembered Uncle Vernon shouting at him, his face purple. He remembered Aunt Petunia locking him in the cupboard under the stairs.

"Was anyone watching them?" he asked, his voice distant.

"Yes. But a large group of Death Eaters apparated in. Some of them kept the watchpersons busy, while the others took the Dursleys."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"No."

"So the point was to show that not even the Order could protect people, that the Order couldn't even protect Harry Potter's family. Brilliant." Harry's voice was dry. He could not recognize it as his own.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into Ron's sympathetic eyes. "I'm sorry, mate."

Harry nodded, noting the weight of Ron's hand, the freckles on his face. He remembered seeing Ron for the first time with all of the other Weasleys, just outside Platform 9 ¾. But he knew he was remembering it wrong, because he saw Ron and Ginny the way they looked now, and not the way they did nearly six years ago.

"Did they leave the Dark Mark in the sky?" he asked, imagining the message to himself.

Dumbledore nodded.

"This will be in the papers," said Harry, and he thought how wrong that was. The Dursleys had wanted nothing to do with the magic world, but now they were killed by magic. They would be splashed across the magic media as a tragic loss for the Boy Who Lived, when Harry had always hated them and couldn't really tell if he was sad they were dead.

Ginny was sitting next to him suddenly. She didn't say anything and she didn't hug him or touch him or try to reach him through their bond. She was just there, and Harry realized suddenly that was really all he wanted at that moment. He wanted Ron and Ginny to be there next to him. And Hermione. And Malfoy. And Severus. And Remus. And Nicolas and Perenelle. And the Weasleys. All of the family he had gathered over the years that had nothing to do with blood.

They sat in silence long after Dumbledore left. Ginny went and woke Hermione and they all sat a quiet vigil in front of the fire until morning came and Gryffindor Tower began to wake. When McGonagall came to open the wards, she hugged Harry and offered her condolences and said if he needed to talk, she was there for him.

Harry wondered why she hadn't been there when Dumbledore came, but knew there must be a good reason, and he really didn't feel like asking. He was afraid he would sound petulant.

He went upstairs and very methodically got ready for the day. He wore some nice, casual robes he had gotten at the beginning of the year. Thinking matter-of-factly, he knew that Percy was pompous and would be more responsive to him if he looked somewhat presentable.

He walked down to breakfast with his friends. They were among the first to reach the Great Hall. Harry sat with his plate empty before him.

It was Ginny who broke the silence.

"You don't have to come to meet Percy," she said.

"I know," said Harry.

"Yeah, mate," said Ron. "It's kind of a bad time for you. You don't have to see him today."

"What else am I going to do?"

"Spend time with Malfoy," said Hermione as she finished her tea. Harry looked at her kindly for suggesting that, but he shook his head.

"No. I want to make amends with Percy. I'm coming, okay?"

Ginny and Ron nodded. Hermione was swirling the dregs of her tea and peering into her cup. She suddenly looked up to the door of the Great Hall, and a second later Malfoy strode in. He came right to their table and sat next to Harry.

Hermione set her cup aside unread, focusing her attention back to Harry.

"Potter," he said lowly, "Are you okay?" He was looking intently into Harry's eyes.

"How did you know?" asked Harry. Owl post had not yet arrived. How had Malfoy heard anything?

"We get an early post in the Slytherin common room," said Malfoy, understanding what Harry meant. "We like to know things before the rest of the school."

"I'm fine," Harry replied belatedly.

Malfoy slung his arm around Harry's shoulder, not really knowing what else to say. Harry leaned his head into Malfoy's cheek, not really knowing how to feel.

Finally, Malfoy shook his shoulder a bit and said, "Come on, you need to eat. You have a big day ahead of you filled with red hair, and I'm afraid you'll have to do without the glory of my company during such a treacherous ordeal." But for once, there was no real malice in his voice, so everyone reacted with polite smiles and began to fill their plates. Malfoy filled Harry's.

Harry pushed the food around his plate with his fork, but didn't actually eat anything. After several minutes of not eating, he felt a worried nudge inside of him and heard Severus' voice in his head.

'Harry, are you okay?'

Harry sat bolt upright and turned to the head table, but Severus was not there. He opened his mind to their link and felt that Severus was having breakfast in his quarters. He had been up half the night with a first year who was having nightmares. He had just opened the paper.

'I'm okay,' thought Harry.

'Are you sure? Do you… need anything?'

Harry was relieved to feel true concern through the link, but was cautious not to get his hopes up that things would return to normal between Severus and him. He thought suddenly how strange it was that he felt more emotion about that than about the Dursleys' deaths.

'You're in shock,' responded Severus to the thought that hadn't been directed to him. 'It's normal.'

'I'm okay,' Harry thought again, and then he felt the link close.

"Was that Snape?" asked Ron, watching him closely.

Harry felt Malfoy stiffen next to him. He nodded tentatively.

"His voice in your _head_?" asked Malfoy with forced calm. Harry didn't like the sound of that.

"Part of their bond," said Ron, completely innocently.

"I see," said Malfoy. "Part of your bond. With _Severus._"

"Malfoy, now is really not the time…" began Ginny.

But Malfoy stood up and was gone.

"Fuck," hissed Harry.

"He didn't…?" ventured Ron.

"No," said Harry miserably. "I should have told him, but he was being such a jealous prat. I thought it would make it worse." He poked absently at his uneaten breakfast.

Hermione let out her breath. "He knew something was going on, but he didn't know what. I understand why he was jealous."

Harry finally just pushed his plate away and put his head on the table. Then he sat back up.

"If I don't go after him now, he won't speak to me all week."

Ginny nodded. "Go."

Harry looked to Ron. "I will come find you guys. I'll just be a little late."

Ron nodded too. "You don't have to—"

"Ron, I'm coming," said Harry quickly. "I'll find you guys, okay?"

He left the Great Hall, the leaden feeling of shock falling away as he focused on a purpose that had nothing to do with his relatives' deaths. He thought fast, trying to figure out where Malfoy had gone.

Slytherin common room.

It was the only place he could go to where Harry couldn't follow. He would want to fume. He would want to make Harry worry that he wouldn't get him back. Harry broke into a sprint to catch him. Malfoy would be walking calmly as though nothing was wrong. Never show any weakness. Malfoys have power. The perception of power. Fear. Intimidation. Malfoy didn't use those powers on Harry.

But he still had power over him.

Harry was in the dungeons before he caught up. "Malfoy," he panted, coming up behind him.

Malfoy kept walking.

Harry grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to a stop. Malfoy shrugged him off, so Harry grabbed both shoulders and pushed him against the wall. He hunched forward a bit, catching his breath.

"What do you want, _Potter_?" he said with his old sneer.

Harry looked in his eyes and said, "I want to go back in time and tell you about my bond with Severus so that you don't hear about it from Ron five hours after I find out my only living relatives are dead."

Malfoy looked away, and for a moment, Harry thought that he was going to get away without a fight.

But then Malfoy asked, "Why?"

"I didn't think you'd understand."

"No," he said, his voice cold. "Why did you bond with him? Why did you bond with Ginny?"

Harry searched for the words, but there was no easy explanation. "It's a really long story," he said, knowing Malfoy would never accept that.

"Right," came the drawled response. "Let me go, Potter. Leave me alone."

He pushed against Harry, but Harry pushed him back. "No. Look, Malfoy, you're asking the wrong questions. You don't give a damn why I bonded with Severus and Ginny. You're just jealous and you're angry that I didn't bond with you."

"Who the hell do you think you are, saying that to me?" demanded Malfoy. "I hate to break your ego trip, _Potter_, but that is _not_ what this is about. You lied to me, you bloody arsehole! You should have _told me_!"

"But I didn't! Are you just going to—"

"No! You didn't! You prance around with your fucking Golden Boy image, and you two-time your boyfriend," he dropped his voice suddenly, "With his fucking _godfather_."

"I am _not _two-timing you, you jealous prat!"

Malfoy snorted. "Oh, I'm sure any bond you have where you can hear each other's voices _across the bloody castle_ is completely innocent."

"You're being a right idiot, you know that?"

Malfoy eyed him levelly. "I have been; you're right. But not anymore. We're through."

Harry felt a surge of anger course through him. He slammed Malfoy against the wall and leaned in, intoning in a very low voice, "You listen to me, Draco Malfoy. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you break up with me after the shit you put me through. You don't really think that I cheated on you with Severus any more than you think I cheated on you with Ginny. It's _power_ you're jealous of. Not romance. Not sex. You're mad that I bonded with them because you think they have more power over me than you do."

Harry was seething. "Well, fuck you, Malfoy," he growled. "Because the thing you don't get is that those bonds aren't about power. And another thing you don't seem to get is that I'm in love with you, you sodding, arrogant bastard. And you're not breaking up with me because that would make my life hell, and I've had quite enough of that for one day."

Harry pushed away from Malfoy and glared at him for a few seconds. Malfoy's eyes had widened slightly, although he was doing a good job of hiding his fear. Harry wondered what he looked like right then. He tried to soften his features, but he knew he wasn't doing a very good job.

"I'm going to go find my _twin_," he said, stressing the word, "And my two best friends. And I'm going to reunite with someone who might as well be my brother. And I'll see you at dinner tonight, and if you have decided to stop being such a jealous fuck, then after dinner I am going to take you someplace private and shag the daylights out of you."

Harry could feel he was still glaring when he turned to walk away. He hadn't gotten two paces when Malfoy caught his arm. "Potter," he began, but never got further.

An alarm split through the castle, echoing off the dungeon corridor walls. Harry felt a wave of panic sweep over him, and he knew that Ginny was in trouble. He grabbed Malfoy's arm to steady himself and pushed himself into the link as hard and as fast as he could to find out what was going on.

They were walking around the lake, near the Forbidden Forest. Five Death Eaters appeared from the midst of the trees and they were battling. Ginny remembered her older brother's less-than-stellar dueling skills and stepped between Percy and the group of approaching Death Eaters.

And suddenly pain beyond pain ripped through Harry and he crumpled. But that wasn't the worst of it. A sick feeling of the worst emotional pain he had ever felt folded through the last of his consciousness. It was betrayal. The Crucio had hit Ginny from behind.

From somewhere in the depths of his memory, Harry heard Tonk's voice saying, "_We think one of the Death Eaters that attacked Lupin is in Percy's department._" Harry groaned. His head hit something hard.

"Quit struggling, Potter," snapped Malfoy.

Harry felt the cold stone floor below him as pain ripped through him again. Malfoy was trying to hold him up. He had hit his head on the floor. Malfoy was yelling for help.

Harry slipped back into his memory. _"In his department?" barked Moody. "Shares an office with the boy."_

'Oh, Merlin, no!' thought Harry. 'Please, no. Please…'

Ginny was screaming. Her screams took up everything, and Harry couldn't help her.

"Harry."

It was Severus' voice, out loud and in his head.

"Block it out, Harry. The curse isn't on you. Block it out. You have to block the link."

"No," screamed Harry, thrashing. "It's Ginny, it's Ginny!"

"I know," said Severus. "But you can't help her if you don't shut her out. If you hold on to her, they have incapacitated you. They have won. You have to block your link to her."

Harry was gnashing his teeth, trying to force his eyes open. Severus was holding him down. He was pressed up against another body that was wrapped strongly around him. It was Malfoy; he knew it.

"Harry, focus on me. Focus on me, Harry."

Harry opened his eyes, locking himself into his link with Severus, trying to put up a wall between himself and Ginny, but he was finding that to be more painful than the Cruciatus curse itself.

"Come on, Potter," said Malfoy into Harry's ear, lending him strength.

Harry held Severus' eye and blocked out the pain as much as he could. Severus decided not to tell Harry that what he was doing was technically impossible, because now he and Ginny had clearly both done it. Harry heard the thought, but decided to ignore it because doubt would certainly not help him at the moment.

"They've broken the wards," said Harry.

"Yes," said Severus, helping him up.

"Where is Dumbledore?"

"Africa. The Flamels were hit with a large-scale attack not quite an hour ago."

"Dark creatures are coming," said Harry, remembering Luna's words, and realizing he was running out of the dungeons. "An army is coming."

The alarm continued. Severus grabbed his arm and doubled over.

"The army is here," he said through clenched teeth. "So is _he._"

A/N: To be continued. Promise.

Also, I don't think this will ever fit into Harry's POV of the story, but I know a few of you will be wondering—McGonagall wasn't there overnight because she was with her son who was one of the Order members protecting the Dursleys that night. He was not seriously injured, just like Dumbledore had said. It's not really important to the story, but there you go.

Nelia: Well, thank you once again. I'm glad you're digging the H/D interaction, after their fight, and the conversation about power. I find my characters conversing about and doing things that are related to what's going on in my life at the time, which is a neat coincidence that it works so well into the story. But at any rate, hopefully you'll understand more about Severus and what's up with him. I've been missing him a lot myself.

Darkest demon child: Thank you muchly. I hope you enjoyed the second half of the chap too.

Tygressatheart: Draco get over his jealousy? Hmm… don't see that happening any time soon. I love him, but he's a real prat about that, you know? As for the summary—I don't think Harry would have put up with half of the shit that Draco's dealt him if it wasn't for him wanting the "normal life" thing. But that doesn't mean his feelings aren't genuine. The guy does kind of wear his heart on his sleeve. Not good at faking things.

Teira: Wax philosophical? Hmm… maybe instead of a final battle, I'll just have Harry and Voldie argue the existence of God in the wizarding world…. Or maybe not… :)

Draco Spanks Harry: Yeah, Sev will get over himself enough to be there for Harry when he needs him, but pride is such a strange thing. Not to mention guilt. Glad you're liking this.

Lea Black: Hey thanks! I really appreciate that. And ooh, I bet you're hating this cliffhanger. Sorry 'bout that.

Henio41: Thanks!

Libby: No, you got it. Snape isn't so much embarrassed about what Harry might know about him, he just needs some space to figure himself out a bit. He's been in a precarious position here. I'm an H/D shipper myself, but after I got to writing the story and started thinking of all the things that Harry and Sev have in common, I started wondering myself how things would have developed between them if Malfoy hadn't already been in the picture. Oh well, another story for another time. And there's still the future to consider. And I love what you say about Malfoy. As much as these boys try, I don't think either of them are mature enough to just put everything behind them. Not just yet, at any rate. Plus, nicknames have been important to me in my relationships. I just don't see this version of Harry and Draco ever calling each other Harry and Draco, at least not regularly. It works for other stories, but not mine. And Luna, yeah. Strange relationships pop up in highschool that just make you scratch your head, but then after awhile, you kind of see how they work… or don't, as they case may be. And Ginny, yeah, I like her growing up past the crush. It works for me. Oh, and by the way, thank you.

Aki no Yumel: Thank you. Hope you like the Harry/Sev explanation here.

Slice: lol. No, absolutely bad timing for hanky panky, but you know, horny sixteen-year-olds. What are you going to do? But yes, there is more to their relationship than sex. They actually like each other, when they're not being pricks, that is. And Slice, dearie, Running 2 ½ miles is just about the best kind of masochistic to be as far as I'm concerned. But if you do keep running somewhat regularly, do about six every now and again—the first two are the hardest, but then the endorphins start flowing, and by the time you're done you love everyone on earth and life is so beautiful. But, um ahem, it will hurt the next day. :)

Elebereth: Thanks—here you go.

Tsuyuno: Never, sorry. They've known each other far too long as Potter and Malfoy to ever be anything but in my story. Well, maybe when they grow up a bit more. (shrugs)

Curious Dream Weaver: thank you!

Dracos hot: lol. No really, lol. Okay, um, let's see… The threats were really unwarranted. I was going to deal with Sev here anyway. No reason to threaten to make things ugly. And as for happily ever after, there will be resolution, but it will be as close to real-life-like as I can make it. Heehee, and I love what a dick Malfoy is too. Such as sweetheart, in that asshole sort of way… Thanks, dahling.

Pal411: (grin) Thank you. Glad to know my fic isn't bad. Glad you're enjoying it. I'm not going to get a yahoo group, though, because I may not be in the country next year, and so I might not be able to maintain it. So I'll just try to finish this story and the sequel before I head off to my next placement next summer. (crosses fingers)

Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure: Thank you!

Rowenna: Thank you.

Lady Silvrene: Hey—check out my Harry/Sev fics and tell me if you like them. I'm digging those too now, and I've also found a whole string of Sev/Sirius fics. They make an awesome couple as well. But of course, current writers have to do AU to make those work, or else set 'em in the past. Oh, and thank you.

Silmarien: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you like Hermione as a Seer, not many people could dig that. And I agree about Ron. He's one of my faves in the books, and it makes me sad when people make him evil. Oh well. And I'll try to bring some resolution with Luna and Crabbe. Thanks for the great review!

Jellycatty: No kidding. Snape was being an ass. But there are more important things now.

Firestar: Yay! Thanks!

Enc87b: Thanks!

Randomnessdotcom: Thanks!

Tessajalynn-cilory: Eep, yeah, you'll be glad to know that Harry is sixteen once again. My bad on that one. I don't know where my mind was. Thanks for pointing that out. And thanks for reading/reviewing!

Paddycake Padfoot: Ooh, I forgot to check out your profile. I'll do it shortly. Promise. Thanks for reviewing!

Shaya68: It's a nickname thing. They've been Potter and Malfoy for six years to each other, and my versions of these characters don't see any reason to change that, so they don't. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Moonlit Chaos: (grins) Thanks, chica. I'll try to update again soon. I know this is a MAJOR cliffhanger.

Jewelkitten: Thanks, and you know I can't tell you what's gonna happen! ;)

Serenity: Thanks.

Abundant Fear: Yay! I've been reading Tempus Fugit, actually, and you're absolutely right! That Stylophile can write! Ye Gods, I hope I've reviewed… (worries…) Anyway, thank you muchly. And yeah, some malepreg stories work, like um, what was it called? A Moment in Time. It should be in my favorites, and if it's not, I don't know why. But I don't think I could write a mpreg story. Just not in me.

Burnt Kairn: I love philosophy actually. It's one of the many things I do a little bit (I can do almost everything a little bit, but almost nothing really well…) I'm an idealist with existential tendencies. I'm really not sure how that works, but it does. One of my goals in life is to successfully combine religion, philosophy, science, and art into one great work, and make it all make sense and not contradict each other. We'll see how that goes… :)

Dragenphly: I'm sure Voldie and Lucius would love to use Draco, but they handled everything with him so poorly, that they'll have real trouble if they attempt that any time soon. And Luna, creepy… how so? Thanks for the review!

Sweet Suicide 41: Hey, thanks a lot. I've been trying to keep things canon-related, um, I guess as much as a slash fic CAN be canon related…? But thank you.

Chaos-Chick3: you and Draco are clearly birds of a feather, says the pea in the pod.

Atrinoisa: Thanks! And I'm not saying anything about Harry and Sev, I'm just saying, that I think you should read the sequel whenever I get around to finishing this story and writing it.

Omeganight: thanks!

TWiSt3d: Well, we all need a motto, right? And as for Passive!Draco, just keep in mind the difference between words and action, yo.

Ellenos: Nicolas isn't a girl.

Alas, I've transfigured my feet: Oh, thanks on the Colin spelling tip. I'll go back eventually and fix it all. Swear. Thanks!

Vanishing Roses: lol. Thank you! I want to re-read the series too, but alas, my books are several states away. I know what you mean about not knowing whether to feel sorry for Harry or slap him. I felt the same way (especially book five) But I work with fifteen year olds, and I often feel the same way with them, but it always comes down to me just loving them, and you get to love characters sometimes as much as real people, so that's how I justify it all. He really acts like a messed-up fifteen year old.

Amber Fyre Riddle-Snape: Thanks!

Coriander: Thank you, dear!


	24. The Madness of War

A/N: Do you know that I have never had so many reviewers call me evil in one go? Honestly, people. I have feelings too. And it made me laugh with sinister glee at all the psychological pain I was causing my dear readers… I mean… um… (blushes)

X

XIX

XIXIX "The Madness of War" XIXIX

Harry's hand was shaking as Malfoy pressed the golden galleon into it. "Do it," he said as though Harry were too out of sorts to understand that he was meant to take any action at all. Harry stared with a blank expression down at the galleon.

The dull throb of the Cruciatus Curse on Ginny was burning underneath the surface of Harry's consciousness and he really tried not to focus on that because every time he did, his resolve would begin to crumble and he would begin to slip back into the link with his twin.

"Potter!"

Malfoy's sharp voice was punctuated with a smack across the face. The pain was real. It was immediate. It was his own. Harry uncrossed his eyes and turned back to the galleon. He touched his wand to it, and hesitated.

"They could die," he thought, or maybe he said it aloud because Malfoy responded.

"Wake up, Potter! The army is _here_! The war is _here_! And everyone at this school knows it!"

The alarm seemed to rise back from silence, but Harry knew it had been sounding all along.

Malfoy grabbed the hand that was holding the galleon and shoved it up into Harry's face.

"The students will all be panicking right now," he yelled. "You have got to take charge. A Death Eater attack is terrifying. A galleon call is familiar. They'll know what to do. You have to make the call!" It was obvious that something was wrong with his boyfriend, and Malfoy was desperately trying to get Harry to see sense in the situation. His voice was harsh, but Harry—if he could only concentrate enough—would have heard the underlying apprehension and fear.

Inwardly, Harry knew he was right, and he wanted to help Ginny, but she seemed so very far away from him… and when he thought about it, the pain was overwhelming and her screams were deafening.

And then Harry could feel the Crucio surging through his own body as if it were _he_ being held under the curse and not his twin. They were one and the same… her pain was his and his pain was hers. They were in this together…

Harry was fading again, letting the bond take over bit by bit. He was unable to even comprehend blocking it at this moment.

Severus grabbed him, and later, Harry would remember that he reached forward with his right hand directly into Harry's chest, to the place inside where his consciousness seemed to be lost with Ginny's. Severus pulled with all his might at Harry through their link until Harry felt himself standing once again.

Severus was holding his shoulders and staring him hard in the eye. Harry was vaguely aware that Malfoy was looking on with a mixture of relief and jealousy. Harry looked at them both and focused with wavering strength on the present, on the alarm, on Malfoy and Severus, on the golden galleon in his hand.

He blinked at it, realizing and remembering what it was they wanted him to do—call the DA; get them together to fight the Dark Army lying in wait just outside. He stood straighter, resolve firming, pushing the bond as far into the back of his mind as he could. He had to do this. This was it. They had to fight.

He touched his wand to the galleon and summoned the DA to the Entrance Hall. He met Malfoy's eye and nodded. Malfoy looked almost ferocious with determination.

'Well,' thought Harry, 'I'm not alone, so there's still hope.'

Harry was moving; the three of them were sweeping through the halls toward the entrance of the school. Severus had already directed Fawkes to alert the Order members of the attack, to put out the call to allies in the Ministry and around the world, and most importantly, to get Dumbledore back to the school grounds.

He glanced worriedly over at Harry, who—though walking with a renewed sense of determination—still seemed to be in somewhat of a daze. Severus knew that most likely the Death Eaters had no designs on killing the youngest Weasley, that they were just torturing her to keep Harry useless while the army systematically destroyed Hogwarts. The Dark Lord would want him alive; he would want to kill Harry himself.

Severus only hoped that the Death Eaters did not add any other torture to the Cruciatus Curse and accidentally kill Ginny. As strong as Harry was, Severus still doubted he would survive the loss of his twin.

The three moved from the dungeons toward the higher recesses of the school where the DA would be assembling. Malfoy was growing increasingly concerned at Harry's zombie-like attitude when he should be preparing for battle.

"What the hell is wrong with him!" he demanded of Severus, indicating Harry's strange behavior.

"His twin is being tortured," Severus replied in a low, calm voice. "Either he feels the pain as if it is his own, or else he blocks out their bond so that he feels he is only half a person. Ginny's behavior was similarly confused and erratic when she stunned him not long ago."

"Ginny stunned Harry—?" began Malfoy, but as they turned the corner into the main hallway, Severus grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to a stop.

He leaned into the face of his godson and spoke quickly, "Draco, they are manipulating his bond with her. He is not entirely incapacitated; they won't be expecting that. But if she dies, all hope is lost. Our first priority is to keep Harry safe until we can rescue Ginny. The Dark Lord is here, which means he is planning on fulfilling the prophecy _today_."

Malfoy scoffed irrationally as he glanced at Harry. "But Voldemort doesn't want to die…"

With one more look at Severus, Malfoy was hit with the sobering realization that Voldemort just might win after all. Harry was powerful, but he was definitely not in control.

The DA was arriving. Malfoy moved away from the Potions Master and grabbed Harry's arm protectively. Severus nodded and turned to the faculty members still rushing in. Students began arriving in droves and the faculty looked around helplessly at the kids in their care with something like anger or fear in their eyes. They were under attack without their leader and as such were seemingly at a loss as to what to do about it. They looked at the students swarming around them and could only wonder how to keep them alive through the day. They couldn't see what Malfoy and Severus saw.

The students were ready to fight. With their wands clutched in one hand and their galleons in the other, Dumbledore's Army was set in all-out battle mode. They had trained for this for months. They awaited their orders. Hogwarts had been attacked. This meant war.

Malfoy held Harry's arm tighter and led him into the throng. The students gathered around them. Malfoy looked to Harry, who was only just holding himself together. He was in no condition to be laying out battle plans. For one wild moment, Malfoy wished Ginny or Ron or Hermione were there. Any of them could have stood in place of Harry. But Malfoy could not. He turned to Severus, who turned to McGonagall.

"Dumbledore is coming," Severus said to her in a loud, clear voice, and the hallway grew quiet. There were students and teachers everywhere, spilling into the Great Hall behind him, lining up in the stairs, standing in doorways, and still more were coming, responding to the call with grim looks of determination set in the faces. All eyes were on Severus.

"Minerva," he said, "Until Albus arrives, the wards are in your hands. The outer wards have been breached. At all costs, you must protect the inner wards and the younger students."

Severus stopped to scan over the gathering students, "Those members of Dumbledore's Army whose best strength is defense must follow Professor McGonagall."

"Severus, these are _children_!" she protested in alarm.

"Not today," cut in Lupin, emerging from the crowd. "Parvati, Lavender, Eldron, take your platoons with McGonagall. Follow her instructions, find all of the younger students, and _keep them safe_!"

McGonagall watched as the DA jumped to action, falling in line behind their leaders. Lavender stepped forward, her platoon already at ready.

"Professor," she said authoritatively, and McGonagall wondered for a moment why she had never seen Lavender behave so _together_. "My platoon is the fastest and we are strong on defense. We can sweep the school quickly to round up stray students. To where should we report back?"

McGonagall glanced quickly to each professor in her field of vision, and they understood that she trusted the students to do what they were prepared to do. Turning back to Lavender, she replied, "Do you know where the catacombs are, underneath the school?"

Lavender paused for a moment before nodding.

"Professor Sinistra," called McGonagall sternly, "Accompany Ms. Brown and her platoon to gather the younger students. Parvati Patil and Eldron Fisher, you will come with me … Where in Hades is Sybil Trelawney!"

"I'm here," called a not-so-airy voice pushing through the crowds. Trelawney was wearing black lace robes that hung from her like nets and she carried a large box full of candles, stones and medallions. "I told you we would hold a séance together," she breathed as she neared McGonagall.

McGonagall glared at her for less than a second before turning her attention back to Severus. "I'll hold the inner wards secure. We'll call for help."

Severus nodded, and McGonagall led students and faculty through the crowds and toward the most heavily guarded wing of Hogwarts, toward the catacombs—the resting place of the Founders and nearly every headmaster Hogwarts had seen, as well as many former professors.

Lupin had been busy gathering the platoons he knew to be strong against dark creatures. His core fighters would be Luna's platoon, as he knew she had had extra training sessions including defense against creatures he had never even heard of. Plus, her father had just arrived for their weekend visit, and Darwin Lovegood was renowned for his remarkable skills against dark creatures.

Other platoons went to Professor Flitwick and Professor Sprout who were organizing attack and defense against the armies of Death Eaters that were surrounding the schools. The younger platoons had already organized themselves into lookout positions, and were systematically reporting back the location and number of every new group of creature or wizard that visibly entered the grounds.

Thus far, the wards closest to the school had not been breached, but the forest was clearly inundated with intruders, the Quidditch pitch had been overtaken, and the lake was being surrounded. They would have to move quickly or the school would be completely under siege.

Through all of this, Severus gathered several of his strongest Slytherin students, and he and Malfoy were laying out a plan to rescue Ginny Weasley.

"Potter completed a twin bond with her," Malfoy was saying. "Did you know that?"

"Everyone in Slytherin knows that," said Portia significantly. Malfoy caught her meaning and scanned the crowds. He saw immediately that certain members of Slytherin House were missing.

He nodded grimly. "Right. Potter said they were by the lake near the Forest, but that may have changed and he can't access his link to her right now and stay functional."

Harry was struck suddenly by the certainty in Malfoy's voice as he told others he couldn't contact his twin. "She's not dead!" he yelled, all of his anger and frustration bubbling with his lack of control.

"I know, Potter," Malfoy said soothingly. "We're going to go get her now. Stay with me, okay? She'll be fine."

Harry nodded suspiciously, knowing that Malfoy was leaving something out. Why did he even trust this guy? He was having trouble remembering at the moment. Ginny didn't trust him… No, she did now. Didn't she?

Harry shook his head violently to scatter his fractured thoughts. He had to stay focused if he was going to help Ginny.

Severus was addressing the group. "They'll be in the thick of the battle. I want everyone to conceal themselves with an illusion charm."

Severus looked each person in the eye. Every Slytherin in the group was a known 'traitor' against the Death Eaters. Portia, Susannah, John, and Irving had already been targeted in the attack against himself. Millicent had openly turned against her family, and Jane was now an open supporter of Harry's.

"We are all prime targets," Severus stressed. "Keep under cover as much as possible. We will exit the building with the rest of Dumbledore's Army, but we must make our way to the lake. Our number one priority is to rescue Ginny Weasley."

"If we can't save her," agreed Malfoy, "Then it doesn't matter who wins this battle, because the war is lost."

"The Dark Lord is here," said Severus. "We must keep Harry safe until we can rescue his twin. If any of you feel you are not up to the task, now is the time to voice it."

Harry looked around. He found it strange that he was so hopeful that a group of Slytherins would agree to put their lives on the line to rescue two Gryffindors. Each of the Slytherins looked to him with steadfast determination in their eyes, and then turned to Severus and nodded their agreement.

Harry looked to Severus as well. Too much was happening around him and his only thought was to get to Ginny, to help Ginny. Their link was wide open and Harry drew strength from that. 'Come on, pull yourself together,' he thought to himself. He nodded to Severus as well.

Severus held his eye and nodded back.

"I'm coming too."

Harry looked over to see that Neville approaching. He came up beside Harry, standing on the opposite side from Malfoy who was still holding him protectively, and for perhaps the first time in six years, Neville Longbottom held Severus Snape's eye without quailing.

"I'm coming," he said again.

Severus looked at him briefly and then simply nodded before turning to face the small group. "It's time," he said.

The group began casting illusion charms on themselves and entered the masses that were slipping through the front entrance to the school, disguised and—hopefully—unnoticed.

But as he moved toward the door, Harry knew it would never work. The relentless attack against the wards continued but the wards still held. Harry knew the students would be safe until the moment of battle as they made their way toward the would-be battlegrounds of wizards and witches in full Death Eater shroud. But Harry knew also the illusions they were using were useless against many dark creatures. They would not have the luxury of surprise.

Through the moving crowds, Lupin looked over and Harry saw that he was thinking the same thing. A short wave of dread shivered down Harry's spine and he wildly thought that he needed to warn everybody they would be seen by the hoards of dark creatures that would be waiting to tear them apart. He was suddenly very aware of a death grip on his arm and he writhed against it.

"Potter—stop!" Harry turned his eyes to those of his boyfriend, but he hardly recognized him. Malfoy tugged him closer, concerned. "Harry…"

Harry opened his mouth to warn him, but the warning never passed his lips. From behind him, Severus tapped his wand to the top of Harry's head, and Harry felt a wash of cold dribble down his body. Distracted, he looked down to see himself blending into the background. When he looked back up, Malfoy looked like a clear shell. It was a strange sight and gave Harry enough pause so that he could focus once more.

"Potter, stay with me. We're going to rescue Ginny. You have _got_ to pull yourself together; do you hear me?"

Harry nodded, and was then struck by a sudden, heartening sound. As powerful as the trill of a phoenix—but calculated and clear and ferocious—came the battle cry of a Centaur. At the door, Firenze stood with his arms extended, bellowing out the instinctual call that had not been heard from the peaceful race for hundreds of years. But with Darkness storming the Forbidden Forest and threatening the community of magical beings, the time for stargazing had passed.

Firenze leapt forward and joined Dumbledore's Army, and through the door Harry could hear the answering calls of the other Centaurs. As he and Malfoy stepped outside, led by Severus and surrounded by the band of rescuers, the first thing Harry noticed as his eyes scanned the horizon was the momentary confusion caused just outside the remaining wards among the Death Eater army. Seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere, dozens of Centaurs were suddenly rearing to attack. Taking advantage of the confusion, the DA swept forward, and the battle was begun in earnest.

Leaving the safety of the wards, the DA thrust themselves at the throngs of dark forces, executing with deft skill the maneuvers they had practiced for so long. They separated and combined quickly, moving in to attack and defend against Death Eaters or dark creatures, depending on their own known strengths and the strengths of their platoons.

Harry felt separate as he watched the illusions slip into the violent chaos and begin taking out the Dark Lord's army. It was all happening right around him, but Harry felt so far away. Because surely if he were that close to Trolls and Giants and Banshees and Death Eaters, he would be fighting them. But as it was, other people—people he had trained and who had trained him—were engaging in battle while Harry was swept through the masses.

He could hear hexes and curses and shields being cast all around him. Blasts of energy, surges of magic, and an alarming amount of green light flashed in his proximity, but it might as well have been a million miles away. His wand was out, but it remained unused while a Malfoy-shaped background illusion dragged him further and further from the safety of the castle, and closer and closer to—

"Ginny!"

Reality slammed into him and Harry held his wand high. Not a moment too soon, he cast a Blasting Curse that sent several Death Eaters flying. Malfoy still had his arm. Neville was by his side. Severus was nearby; Harry could feel him still tugging with the link, pulling him forth.

"They're moving into the Forest now!" he yelled, and the small group around him changed the trajectory of their course.

The Cruciatus Curse had been lifted from Ginny momentarily, and Harry knew it wouldn't last. He used those moments to incapacitate as many shrouded figures as he could, and also, to contact Ginny through their link. No conscious thought came from her despite the fact that she was awake, barely. Harry knew she was in bad shape, and she tugged after him, begging him to come.

'I'm coming,' he thought to her. 'Soon. I promise.' It was small comfort and he knew it, but he also knew she would take what comfort she could get. She was only just hanging on.

Screams and shouts filled the air, as well as groans of pain and cries for mercy. In the midst of the sounds of war, Harry heard a familiar voice bellowing, "Git yer bleedin' hands off o' me!"

He turned to see Hagrid wrestling with a full-size Giant. He was larger than Grawp even, which Harry was able to immediately judge, since Grawp was wrestling another Giant behind him.

Hagrid turned the Giant toward Harry, and Harry sent a quick succession of curses his way, but the thick-skinned Giant only stumbled. It was enough, though, for Hagrid to topple the much larger foe. He climbed on top of him and punched him straight in the face. If it weren't for their sheer size, Harry would have been reminded of any fistfight he had ever had with Malfoy. Hagrid must have gotten in a really good hit, because the Giant lay still.

"Oh, fuck." Harry turned and found himself and Malfoy facing down another Giant. Harry wasn't sure if this one was larger, or just closer. He raised his wand, but Ginny was hit with another wave of Crucio, and Harry's knees gave out.

He would never remember what happened in the moment before he again blocked his link with Ginny, but when he opened his eyes into the otherworldly feeling that accompanied his half-self state, Harry was nearly overcome by terror as a teeming swarm of large spiders surged forth from all directions. They climbed over and around him and Malfoy, but their target was the Giant.

The two froze as they watched the Giant flail about, roaring in anguish and fear as the spiders climbed onto him with lightening speed. He was soon no more than a hulk of hairy legs and clicking pinchers, a black mass that squirmed and screamed, and then fell and lay still. When the spiders receded, moving on to a new target, all that was left was a dried husk of the Giant, its skeletal face contorted gruesomely.

Harry's hand was tingling and he turned his face absently away from the grotesquery to Malfoy's fingers digging into his arm. He looked up and saw Malfoy staring at the Giant, an emotion in his eyes that Harry would never be able to place. But they were cold when he turned back to Harry and pulled at him.

"Come on," he said, and Harry did.

The rescue mission had been split up in the confusion, but they converged again as they made their way into the Forest. To Harry, everyone looked different except for Severus, 'Who, of course,' Harry thought, 'Has seen this all before.'

He hadn't realized they had let their Illusion Charms fall until they replaced them, moving away from the relative safety of the chaotic battle zone and into the quieter Forest that was practically pulsing with Dark magic. He could feel it in the very air he breathed, like a thick slime coating his lungs, tainting the world about him. They were sure targets to the evil here. But still, they pushed on.

Harry felt the familiar burn in his scar and wondered how long he had been ignoring it, focusing so much on blocking his link to Ginny. But then Severus hissed almost silently, and Harry knew that they were close to Voldemort, that they were closing in on something terrible.

Slowly, the screams that had been invading his head began to sound louder and louder. They followed the screams, which were now punctuated by laughter. Unopposed, they made their way to a clearing and saw Percy Weasley holding the Cruciatus Curse on his little sister as she writhed in agony, her robes shredded by the brambles on the forest floor, her skin being ripped open by their sharp thorns. She was covered in a sick sheen of blood that seemed to escape her pores like sweat. Her screams were almost too much as on and on they went, forcibly torn from her abused throat.

Physically unharmed were Ron and Hermione, who were hanging from nothing, arms and legs stretched wide. Their faces were held, eyes wide open, toward the torture before them. Desperate and furious, they were dripping with sweat and tears and snot and saliva. They were silenced and bound in every way imaginable, to look on helplessly as Ginny was systematically broken.

The five Death Eaters stood around laughing as they held the captives and watched the torture, and it was almost _too easy_ when Harry broke free from Malfoy and ran in, screaming curses. The other members of the rescue mission followed, and although not a single lethal curse was cast, three of the Death Eaters were dead within seconds from the interplay of magic that was cast against them.

Harry knelt beside Ginny's crumpled body, fully aware once more and horrified by the sight before him. She hardly looked human. She was swollen and covered with dirt and blood. Her breathing was ragged, and Harry knew that the only thing she was currently conscious of was her bond to him, open once again. He was hardly aware of what was happening around him.

He didn't notice that as soon as Ron landed, he grabbed up his wand, which had been tantalizingly close. Ron cast a shield charm around his brother, who therefore survived long enough for Ron to cross the clearing and launch a much more personal attack.

Percy froze for a moment too long as he looked around himself in shock. Ron disarmed him and snapped his wand as soon as he caught it. Before Percy could even blink at the loss, Ron's fist connected with his face, and Percy was on the ground groaning as Ron kicked him again and again.

"You piece of shit!" he yelled, as he kicked Percy's face. Percy flipped over on his side.

"I'll kill you!" and Ron felt ribs crack with the impact of his next blow.

"You betrayed your fucking family!" and Percy wasn't even trying to shield himself with his arms anymore. Ron dropped to his knees. He grabbed Percy's collar and hoisted him up.

"_That was your fucking sister_!" he yelled as he punched him again and again.

He dropped the bloodied and broken Percy, who landed with a low moan that only signified he was still conscious. Ron pulled out his wand and aimed it at the older redhead.

"You're not a Weasley anymore," he said with such coldness that Hermione called his name in alarm, and in the years to come, it was Hermione's voice that would haunt him, and not the look of Percy's figure sprawled out on the ground, or the rancid smell of blood and pain in the air, or even the fact that Ron killed his own brother. It was that Hermione called his name in alarm a moment before he cast the Strangulation Curse, and that Ron heard her, and he paused, and he did it anyway.

Hermione came to him but he couldn't meet her eye, and for that reason alone he saw the magic flying through the air, but it was too late to warn anybody that the next wave had arrived. There were screams of pain, and sickening thuds of bodies hitting trees, and for a second, Ron thought all hope was lost.

But then Harry stood up and the sheer force of magic radiating from him sent a shock wave through the clearing and the attacking Death Eaters stumbled and seemed to panic just long enough for everyone to regain themselves.

Without even thinking, Harry had cast a shielding charm over Ginny. Fury was in his veins and vengeance tasted like copper in his mouth. He turned on the Death Eaters and almost laughed. He could see who they were through their masks, and it suddenly occurred to him how pathetic it was that they even wore them. He waved his hands and the masks flew off, baffling the owners. Of all of them, only Lucius Malfoy managed to look unbothered by the unveiling.

With him were, among others, the elder and younger Crabbes, Goyles, Notts, and Parkinsons, and Harry knew that Ron's fight against Percy had been a segue into a much more personal battle.

In fact, he realized, Percy and his crew had been unguarded. They must have thought they were being protected, when in fact they were being dangled like bait.

But here began a fight of personal vendettas—light against dark. Dark wizards against those who had turned from darkness. Traitors against traitors.

XIXIX

"I think this is everyone," Lavender reported as she and her platoon followed the younger children they had rounded up from around the castle.

"Are you sure?" asked Professor McGonagall, her sharp eyes scanning the crowd.

"No," replied Lavender. "I'm not. But we split into two groups and systematically swept the castle with the Retegere Hominum Charm. If there are any other students out there, they're hidden well enough to be safe."

McGonagall accepted that answer and turned to the students who were settling themselves in the dank tunnels located far below the dungeons. A heavy layer of dust covered the walls and most of the floor, but McGonagall had noticed a path of footprints that disturbed the blanket.

The students stood carefully with their hands folded, feeling decidedly vulnerable and out of place. The cobwebs were enormous, but no spiders made their home here. There was no life, save the refugees. This was a place of death.

"Minerva," breathed the airy voice of Sybil Trelawney, "Might we begin? Time will be of the essence." She spread her arms wide and beckoned the students and faculty to follow her farther into the catacombs. She treaded lightly along the path of footprints, moving with knowledgeable ease into the stifling darkness.

The way was lit by wandlight, held high and low as the students uneasily observed their creepy surroundings. Few people even knew of the existence of the catacombs. In fact, they were only referenced once, and rather vaguely at that, in _Hogwarts, A History_; they were alluded to in a footnote dealing with Salazar Slytherin's eventual return to the school after his death.

McGonagall herself had never been to them, but had known their location for decades. Sybil Trelawney, however, knew the catacombs well and she had recently visited with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil to set up for the séance they would perform today.

The tunnel opened into a larger area and Trelawney urged the others forth. There were many of them, all treading softly over the grimy floor, their wands held high. Yet, despite the combined strength of their many _lumos_ spells, the light would not penetrate the oppressive blackness to reveal the entire room. The younger students stood quivering, too afraid even to cry.

"Everyone!" called Trelawney lightly in a gasping voice that she surely thought added positively to the dramatics of the situation, but which only succeeded in making her sound slightly demented. "Everyone, please gather around the circle I have drawn in the center of the room. You will find it is the exact right size," she smiled, "For a group of our number."

Parvati and Lavender led the other students to the circle and they all sat on the slightly less dirty floor around the outer rim of a circle drawn in glowing chalk. Inside the circle was drawn a large five-pointed star. The students stared in awe as they squeezed into spots around the circle. They found that if they sat very, very close to one another, that everyone fit just fine.

McGonagall managed, just barely, to cover her disdain for the proceedings as she pulled a trembling Hufflepuff first year into her lap. Trelawney busied herself by setting up the candles, stones, and medallions in bizarre formations around the outside of the circle, and lining the pentacle within. All the while, she muttered under her breath, randomly punctuating her spells with gasps and moans that sounded anything but genuine.

Settling herself into the tight spot Lavender and Parvati had saved between them, she sang in her weirdest voice yet, "Take each other's hands and close your eyes… Ooooh great spiiiirits of Hogwaaaarts paaaaaast… Hear our caaaaall and coooome to uuuuus…"

With a great swirling of dust, which led to much coughing and sputtering around the circle, a harsh wind whistled through the corridors and into the great room in which the circle sat.

A booming voice echoed through the room. "Who calls?" it asked.

"It is I!" shouted Trelawney eagerly. "Sybil Trelawney, Divination professor here at Hogwarts!"

It seemed like a sigh, although it could have been the wind, but the voice did sound markedly disappointed when it said, "Oh, you again."

McGonagall perked up, recognizing the voice. "Professor Jupiter?" she said, as though greeting an old friend at a soiree.

"Minerva? Minerva McGonagall? How good to see you!"

Trelawney turned a sudden scowl toward McGonagall, who ignored it entirely.

"Hang on a moment," said the voice of Professor Jupiter. The swirling wind seemed to intensify, causing a minor tornado in the center of the circle. Then, suddenly, it stopped, and there stood the apparition of a tall man in his early forties, wearing badly out of style robes and an unfortunate handlebar mustache. He smiled broadly at McGonagall.

"My, how you've grown!" he gushed. "You were only a fourth year student when I died, but I daresay you could have passed your Transfiguration NEWTS that day! Remarkable skill. Did you stick with your studies?"

McGonagall laughed like a young girl as she gazed up at her favorite professor from her own schooldays. "I teach Transfiguration now," she replied. "Have for over thirty years."

Professor Jupiter bowed to her, ignoring Trelawney entirely. "Fantastic! You have had many lucky students, then. So what can I do for you today?"

Trelawney breathed, "We ask your assistance, oh Great Spirit."

The 'Great Spirit' turned to her briefly, but then rolled his eyes and turned back to McGonagall. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Hogwarts is under attack," said McGonagall seriously, back to business once again. "Reinforcements are on their way, but for now, only students and faculty are present to defend the school."

"I see," he said. "I'll wake the others." He glanced around himself into the darkness, and then turned his attentions back to the members of the circle surrounding him. "Now children," he said in a kindly tone, "This isn't going to be pretty, but I want you to remember that everyone who wakes is on our side, and they will not hurt you, no matter how frightening they look." He looked around the circle. "Do you understand?"

The students and professors alike nodded, feeling at ease with the spirit professor. He smiled and turned back to McGonagall. "Minerva, I'm glad you're doing well. I'm very proud of you."

McGonagall nodded as the apparition disappeared, and if anyone had asked, she would have claimed it was the dust that was causing the burning in her eyes. But nobody did, because almost immediately, a low moan pervaded the area, sending a shock of terror straight through to the bones of everyone present.

The dust seemed to vibrate and a rumbling sound accompanied the movement that brought the catacombs to life. The walls seemed to crumble with the opening of the crypts that lined them. A rushing sound indicated spirits returning to their bodies and finding them in various stages of decay. From their resting places, some spirits found skeletons to inhabit, and with much scraping they pulled themselves up and began to walk, their bones clattering as they navigated the tunnels. Some spirits found their bodies had long turned to dust, and they left the dust behind them as they journeyed forth from the afterlife.

A deafening _BOOM!_ echoed through the catacombs as the sealed entrance was forced open, and the students sat in stunned amazement as they watched the procession of hundreds upon hundreds of dead professors and headmistresses and masters.

In the midst of it all, Trelawney leaned toward McGonagall and hissed, "Minerva, you have got to be the single most _infuriating_ skeptic I have ever worked with—taking over a séance like that when you don't even believe in the magic!"

XIXIX

The battle in the clearing of the Forbidden Forest began in a torrent of fury. But as the seconds passed, it splintered into smaller fractions of angry groups who sent as many insults as curses. Outnumbering three to one, the Death Eaters seemed relaxed and confident as they surrounded the small group and engaged them in battle that would certainly prove to be a most welcome victory against their most hated foes.

Except for Harry, the Hogwarts students fought against each other with unrivalled passion. Pansy and Malfoy, keen on exploiting each other's weaknesses, paired off while Theodore Nott, Crabbe, and Goyle, as well as other Slytherins that Harry hardly recognized, set themselves against Ron, Hermione, Portia, Millicent, and Irving. Jane, Susannah, John and Neville lay off to the side, having received the brunt of the initial blast. Harry only hoped they were still alive.

He and Severus were back to back, guarding each other as they fought against seven adult Death Eaters, who hated Severus for his disloyalty, and who hated Harry for repeatedly escaping and defeating their master. The two moved with synchronized swiftness and Harry knew that even seven to two, he and Severus could win. But the Death Eaters laughed about the Dursleys, and about Sirius, and Harry faltered again and again.

He was fighting with a burning energy that he felt straight to his core, but he let himself be distracted by Ginny's state and by the jeers sent his way by the people who had been tormenting his life and who he was therefore weakest against. Feeling it was far too late to finally be realizing this, Harry was struck by the truth Severus had been telling him for years—that he was an emotional moron and it was folly to wear his heart on his sleeve.

The elder Goyle sneered at him and grunted, "Your uncle died cursing your name, boy." And Harry's Blood-Boiling Curse against Crabbe failed completely.

Nott jeered, "Your cousin begged for mercy, crying like a brat."

"Your aunt begged us to spare his life," said Lucius coolly. "Although why, I've no idea—the fat, worthless muggle."

Harry sent a Blasting Curse against him, but Lucius dodged it with bored ease.

"Boy? Didn't your _mother_ beg the Dark Lord for _your_ life?" asked Crabbe.

"The mudblood was so like her sister," agreed Nott with twisted glee.

"The look on her face," drawled Lucius, "When we killed your aunt was _exactly _the look on your mother's face when the Dark Lord killed _her_."

Another shock wave shook the area as Harry's rage rose up within him. He sent a simple disarming spell against Goyle, but the raw power behind it caused Goyle's wand to explode in his hand. Goyle himself crashed through a tree behind him that was as thick around as he was. The tree began to topple in slow motion, and Goyle landed in a sick, broken mess.

As Harry glanced to the fallen corpse, Severus dodged and Harry didn't dodge with him. His left arm was hit from behind. Immediately, bright red lacerations split open on his hand, and Harry could feel them up and down his arm underneath his robe, which quickly began to shine with pools of blood.

'Pay attention, Potter!' snapped Severus in his head, and through their bond, Harry was smacked with fury and concern. He erected a quick shield that reflected a bolt of electric blue light flying at him and instantly sent off a quick succession of stunning spells, none of which reached their mark although they did manage to break up the attack for a moment.

Harry felt a comfortable and warm burst of energy at his chest and noticed that the locket Nicolas and Perenelle had given him had begun to glow. Thin tendrils of white light emanated from it, swirling out toward his arm, enveloping it, and healing it. In less than a second, all effects of the curse, save the bloodstains on his robe and hand, were gone.

Back to back again, Harry and Severus continued the fight. But now Harry was thinking.

He had asked Nicolas why, if he and Perenelle were so powerful, they didn't just go ahead and kill Voldemort. Nicolas had said that they just weren't fighters. "_If the outcome of a duel were solely dependent on who was the stronger witch or wizard, Perenelle or I could easily defeat You-Know-Who. But that's just not the case."_

Harry was far more powerful than those he was fighting. But he was letting his emotions get in the way. They could work for him or against him. They could lend him strength, or destroy his control. And he knew he needed to be strong. Sirius had told him that night in his dream, "_You've got courage, and you're strong. You've got a good heart. Use all of these things, okay? No matter how much it hurts. They'll see you through."_

It was strength that Harry needed now above all else. But he needed to be able to control it. Harry Potter had only ever learned the basics of controlling himself. More than anything, he had mimicked the control he saw in Severus. He had masked his feelings, rather than actually reining them in. Now, with battle raging, Harry took a deep breath and pulled everything he had in him that was the calm, collected control of Severus Snape straight to the forefront of his being, strengthening his resolve.

Against their words, Harry was strong. He would not falter, and the tide of the battle began to turn.

On they fought, secluded from the certain devastation that was taking place outside the Forbidden Forest. So far away did it all seem, that the sudden appearance of Luna Lovegood necessitated a moment's pause from the fighting in the clearing. She wandered into the middle of the battle, looking around her like she was lost between classes. The oddness of her arrival caused a surreal hesitation as everyone stopped for a moment just to look at her.

Then she turned her wide eyes to Crabbe and said softly, "Vince?"

Crabbe's eyes narrowed slightly as he turned to Goyle, junior, and yelled, "Stupify!" Goyle landed with a _thunk_ and Luna joined the battle against the students.

Crabbe, senior, turned to them and yelled in a thundering voice, "Vincent Bartholomew Crabbe!"

Crabbe quailed for only a second before he turned his wand on his father.

As father and son began to duel, Pansy screamed and fell to the ground. Malfoy stood triumphantly over her, and only Severus saw the fire flashing in Lucius' eyes as he turned on his son and raised his wand. A moment too late, Severus sent a shield charm to Draco, who flew across the clearing. Lucius turned to Severus and engaged him, and Harry was left to himself to fight the remaining four adult Death Eaters.

The image of Malfoy flying helpless through the air was fixed firmly in Harry's mind's eye, and a well of passionate, unadulterated fury swept through him. These were the people who had taken from him his parents, had killed Sirius, had killed Fleur, and had killed Cedric. The attempts against Remus and Severus and Nicolas and Perenelle had filled Harry with a reckless power he could not control. Before, he had taken chances he shouldn't have, and he had made more than his share of mistakes.

Again and again, Voldemort and his Death Eaters had attacked Harry's loved ones, his family. But the evil he felt radiating from them now seemed far more twisted and sickening, as family turned against family. Family was the one thing Harry had longed for all his life—and Voldemort used it, turned it against itself.

First Percy had tortured his sister—Harry's twin—resulting in brother killing brother. Now fathers and sons fought without remorse, and Harry was supremely conscious that— among Order members, students, and faculty—every single one of Harry's currently living loved ones were on a battlefield somewhere _right now_ facing the greatest evil of modern times. And Harry knew that this would only be the beginning of the entirety of the wizarding world falling apart.

Time seemed to pause while this realization hit Harry square in the stomach. The world was frozen and Harry felt the disgusting reality of the prophecy dripping around him.

No longer could he be reckless. No longer could he be insecure. No longer could he hold onto the bumbling innocence of the child Harry Potter. After everything that had happened to Harry over the years, after the culmination of two lifetimes of pain and loss—_this_ was the exact moment in which Harry Potter grew into a man.

He expanded his consciousness to the surrounding area, and opened his Legilimency into the minds of his enemy. The hatred that consumed them was daunting, but it was also a weakness for them, and Harry saw that immediately. Feeling more in control than he had yet today, Harry proceeded to take out the four Death Eaters in rapid succession.

Reading their thoughts, he knew their actions before they were begun. He blocked curses as they left lips. He altered the path of his own attacks, knowing which way they would dodge. He was calm now, his emotions in check. And their taunting was now gone. There was only open-mouthed surprise that a sixteen-year-old boy was disabling four of the strongest Death Eaters from Voldemort's inner circle with deft ease.

Stirring somewhere behind him, Neville cried out a warning and Harry turned in time to see Ron, Portia, and Millicent blasted across the clearing. Preparing to face the next wave of attack, Harry expanded his consciousness to encompass the entire clearing, and was stopped short. Like fingers raking his body and mind, Harry's senses were filled with a taunting, grating, high-pitched laughter, and his blood ran cold.

It was inside of him, surrounding him. It was hatred and vengeance and pain and death. It was recognition, and it was maddening to his consciousness. It came from outside of him, and Harry could not control it.

Flashes of memory shot through his head—_Sirius, falling through the curtain... Harry, casting Crucio for the first time... Neville's parents in St. Mungo's... Sirius... Sirius... Sirius... _

Harry slowly turned to face the wicked smirk of Bellatrix LeStrange. The instant his eyes landed on her, a white-hot pain shot through his scar, searing into his brain. The jumble of images pounded into him mercilessly, filling his thoughts and piercing his memories. The fingers dug into him, breaking his perception, and he knew he had to be seeing incorrectly, because before him stood three Voldemorts.

Harry's mind became a swirling mess all over again as he tried to make sense of what was before him, and all the while their taunting laughter continued—the laughter of Voldemort, and Bellatrix LeStrange, and Wormtail. Harry blinked his eyes open and the three separate people were standing there, but a moment later his vision shifted and instead there loomed before him three snake-like faces with red eyes.

The combined weight of their power was heavy in the clearing, and the Dark magic inherent to them prodded at the inferior—though substantial—power that radiated from Harry. Effortlessly, their magic invaded him, toyed with him, and Harry knew it would easily overpower him.

He began to question his sanity as Wormtail, the betrayer, and Bellatrix, the murderer, blinked in and out of existence, trading places with replicas of the formidable Dark Lord, Voldemort. The hate that stirred in Harry toward each of them seemed to both fuel, and be fueled by, their laughter—and he longed to crush them out of existence, but he found himself quite unable to do anything. His mind was putty against the paradox before him.

One Voldemort pulled out his wand, but it was with Bellatrix's scathing laughter that he cast a curse that sent Severus into the air, hanging upside-down, and Harry registered actual shock on Severus' face as the torment began. Laughing, the Bellatrix Voldemort jeered, "I wondered when I'd have you like this again, my darling Severus."

Harry glanced back to her, but rather than Voldemort or Bellatrix, Harry saw his father training his wand on Severus. James Potter turned to Harry and smiled. He winked. "Harry," he said in Bellatrix's voice, "You're next."

Harry grabbed his head, understanding that he had finally gone insane after all, and that Voldemort had won, and that it was all over. He looked around at the Voldemorts laughing in the voices that he hated so desperately, and Harry wasn't sure if he was screaming out loud, but he certainly was inside his head.

And somehow through the insanity, Harry came to understand the feeling of ice-cold dread and darkness that accompanied the arrival of Dementors onto Hogwarts grounds. And somehow through the insanity, Harry came to understand that all the Dementors and Death Eaters that had been at Azkaban were now here.

But Harry could not understand the laughter, or the identity fluxes, or the hatred that smashed into him, violating his consciousness, and breaking through the barriers he had spent so much time and energy erecting.

Lost to the madness, Harry could only scream.

XIXIX

XIX

X

A/N: Extra special, super-duper, fan-diddly-tastic thanks to Whitewolf CS for her amazing beta work on this chapter. It is like a million times better than before, so I'm mailing myself to her inside a cake so I can jump out and yell "Surprise! and Thank You!" and I think all of you ought to do the same.

Darkest demon child: Thanks for the compliment, and thank you for reviewing!

Tygressatheart: Oh my gosh, it's really been over a month since I promised you in my head that I would update soon. My bad. I'll try to do better with the rest of the fic. If you stop pointing at me and calling me EVIL:)

Whitewolf CS: Did you enjoy seeing Percy's ass-whooping as much as you hoped you would? And did I mention that you're a brilliant genius? Thanks (again) for all the help with the chapter.

Deb-sampson: Thanks. Yeah, I'm trying to make the H/D thing a non-soulmate relationship, just a regular relationship. Well, as regular as these two passionate guys with all their baggage and issues can have in the middle of a war. Anyway..,

Alas, I've transfigured my feet: Lol. Hmm… "Harry… use the force, Harry… Let it flow through you… Feel the balance between plot and slash… go jump Draco's bones."

Isis-mystic: Thanks. And, yeah! You hear that Percy!

Charmed 88: eee… calm down. It'll be okay. Only a few more chapters left, and then you'll know the end, see? Um… there, there.

Jellycatty: Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying!

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Aki-Hoshi: Oh my, thank you. I do appreciate your words on my writing. Makes me feel good, and proud of this story, and I've just got to finish it soon. That's all there is to it. Thank you.

Henio41: Thanks

Tsyuno: Well, there's a little more about how Ron's feeling about what's going on. Did it work for you?

BratPrincess-187: cringe I know, I know… another cliffhanger. I just can't help it lately. Anyway, only a few more chapters are left. And yeah, I like it when H/D fight too—their personalities really show through in times of turmoil. Thanks for the review!

Sheree: LMAO! Oh my god. Did you just call Harry a mind slut! Lol! That rocks!

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AbundantFear: Well, I killed the fucker. Have you? I haven't read your fic yet. Does Percy get it in the end? Glad you dig my story. And dude, yeah! Tempus Fugit, with all the twists, and now they're caught… and oh jeez. What's gonna happen?

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Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure: giggles Thanks for the teddy bear!

AriverrunsthroughPhoenix: I know what you mean about Draco saving Harry. Thank merlin we had Malfoy there to throw a jealous fit and storm off away from danger!

Ozumas girl (Chapter 17): Hey, thanks. You know, I don't think I have ever felt so complimented while being yelled at. That must truly be your gift. ;) But thank you.

Flounder2: Yay! You got lost in my story! Makes me happy. Sorry bout the cliffhanger… I know, I know. I'll try harder next time to give some semblance of chapter closure.

Paddycake Padfoot: I suppose that Unbalance!Harry really is a recurring theme in this story, huh? Well, what are you going to do? He can usually hold his own okay. We'll just let him work it through, why don't we? Glad you like my characterization. I've worked on that quite a bit. Makes me proud. And um… do I still get a cookie even though I took so long to update? (puppy dog eyes)

Silmarien: Ha ha! I left another cliffhanger! I bet you're going to threaten my life again! Ha ha… wait a minute…

taintedGOTH: thanks.

Venus4280: Thanks! Glad you're digging the interactions. And Ginny's safe for now.

Pchihuahua: Yo! Thanks for all the reviews! Glad to know my fic has got a new fan! And Lol! I love the Veela Enigma by jennavere! Great writer in general. And um… sorry bout the lack of H/D action this chapter, but they were a little busy. I just couldn't figure out how to work in a sex scene, you know? (big grin)

Hacen: I do make words my biotch. Say my name! Um, I mean… uh… Thank you.

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Pandemona911: squeals Yay! Glad to make you happy. Glad you like it! Thank you!

Rowenna: Thanks! And they still use their last names because it's a nickname sort of thing. It's not an insult sort of thing… at least, not usually. They still throw in the venom every now and again, I guess.

Emeline: Thanks! I love it when they fight too. Like I said, you really see their personalities then.

Dragenphly: thanks for the FRIENDLY ENCOURAGEMENT! (cowers) Yeah, crazy times. Glad you like. Sorry to keep you waiting. Is Luna less creepy now, or more so?

Cmere1: First, I hope school is going okay. Second, glad you're liking the fic. Third, no, I think this is the cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers. (grin) And… whatever number I'm on (counting… hard…) Thanks for letting me know what works for you. I love the encouragement.

Viva La Dani: Hey, thank you. I'm happy to know that my fic has touched your emotions. I really appreciate it.

Icriedwhensiriusdied: Thank you! For liking it and spreading the word and giving me a cookie. And, let's see. I'm a full-time volunteer with inner-city youth in Chicago. I work with gang youth and immigrants. I do tutoring, mentoring, teach about HIV and STD prevention, lead a theatre group and teach and art class. And whatever else needs to be done. You can read about it at my blog Thanks for asking.

Draco-n-Harry-Lover: Thank you again!

Spazticdramanerd: Oh! And I left another cliff, too! How can you stand me? For the love of god, HOW! Lol.

Loverofroswell: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm going to try to finish this pretty soon. This last update just took unbearably long. So, soon, you know?

Futago akuma-tenshi02: Thank you!

Ghostwriterx2: grin Thanks for the encouragement to lengthen the sex scenes, but I've known too many people to be kicked off , and I don't want to lose my account. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Ak-alterego: Oh, yeah. I just kind of skipped the summer and start of term because it didn't much fit in with the plot I wanted to focus on. There were some things that happened that were important, but I decided I could just as well just mention in passing that it had happened. Anyway… Thanks!

Fairylights73: Hey, thanks for the compliment! The story will be a few more chapters, and I make no promises on happy endings. Sorry…

Von: lol! Thanks for reading at work!

Lisa: Hey thanks! Sorry for the long wait. I"ll try not to do it again.

Aki no Yume1: Well, here is what happened next! Lol!

Charlietheotakunymph: Thanks!

Aaron19812000: Oh, the betrayal was Percy turning, because even though it was hinted at, the characters didn't expect it at all. Because they loved their brother even though he was a bastard. Thanks for reviewing!

Lea: Wow! Thanks for the many reviews! Glad you like the characterizations and the subtlety of Ginny's emotions worked in. Harry's a bit dense sometimes, so it's been hard to get other people's feelings relayed to the reader. Glad you approve!

Ganymade: Wow! Thanks!

Nat25: Thanks! Glad you like it, but please don't ruin your eyes!

JWGrey: Thanks! Glad you like it. Hope you were able to patiently wait these last few days for an update! Lol!

Peace out, everyone,

kati


	25. Neither Can Live

A/N: I'm not responding to the Chapter 24 reviews, so that I can get these last two chapters out a day or two quicker, but I do want to thank everyone who has reviewed. It was a great boost to my vain ego, and a kick-in-the-ass inspiration.

And thank you especially to Whitewolf CS who faithfully betaed these final two chapters in one go, despite a super-hectic school schedule and a nasty illness. CS, you ROCK!

Now, without further ado, the final two chapters of A Boy, Lost.

X

XIX

XIXIX "Neither Can Live" XIXIX

Dumbledore's Army was fighting a losing battle, and everyone on the battlefield knew it. There were simply too many Death Eaters and too many Dark creatures for a group of students, even as well trained as the DA were, to be able to fight off. Yet they continued to fight because they knew, as Remus Lupin yelled out continuously, "Reinforcements are on their way!" They need only hold their ground just a little longer… just a little while longer…

But casualties were mounting quickly, and hope was beginning to falter. The amount of magic flying around just outside the remaining wards of the school was dizzying as much as it was disturbing. It oozed with Darkness; it stank of pain and death. And children were dying, being destroyed by adults—many of whom were parents themselves—who would rather live in subservience to a demented Dark Lord than to lay down their wands in the face of such sickening injustice.

'Amazing,' thought Lupin forlornly, 'that _children_ should show so much more character.'

Warriors, they were—fighting bravely, though disguised in small bodies. With seeming nerves of steel, they risked their very lives to protect the school, to protect those hidden inside—their little brothers and sisters—from this massacre of the innocents. Their eyes flashed fire as they shouted curse after counter-curse, resisting overwhelming force, and backed by nothing but each other and terrible odds.

But Lupin saw them die—saw how in the very last moment of life, their strength would fail and their eyes would show the heart-wrenching vulnerability and fear of youth being wasted. Many lay dying on the battlefield, cursed beyond return in the absence of medical attention. They cried out for mercy. They cried out for their parents.

And so Lupin fought harder, spurred on by the slaughter he witnessed, but it was never enough. Then a vague chill in the air alerted him that Dementors were nearing. If they were to continue to stand, they would need the reinforcements he continued to promise.

One moment there was nothing. In the next, a few spirits wisped past. Then a flood of spirits had overtaken the battlefield. But these were not ghosts who had shunned the afterlife. These were spirits returned from the dead. Like vapor, they flowed through the cloaked Death Eaters, chilling them to the core. And like living beings, they exerted tangible force against the Dark army as well. They grabbed them and dragged them to the ground, ripping at their eyes, breaking their wands. They engaged the damned spirits of the banshees in battle. They confused and frightened the Trolls and the Giants.

Next came the rattling of skeletons—their flesh rotted off, leaving only frames of human beings. They were the very essence of death, and Lupin took a moment to note the irony that their arrival brought with it a budding hope of life. Even as he fought he watched as they stabbed with their spiky fingers into the living meat of evil. Curses flew through the gaps between their bones; the skeletons were skillfully positioning themselves so that those curses aimed at them instead hit the Death Eaters and Dark Creatures standing behind them.

Then, a loud _CRACK!_ echoed through the school grounds as a solid force of tiny House Elves apparated as a single unit from inside the castle to the edge of the remaining wards. In front stood one small Elf that looked like every other, except that he wore something that might, conceivably, pass as clothing.

"House Elves of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he squeaked commandingly. "We is being given permission to protect our own!"

With that, the House Elves let out a tremendous scream. It sounded like a high-pitched mockery of a roar, but neither human nor animal mistook it for the battle cry it was. And those who found themselves in opposition to a House Elf protecting its home very quickly learned that loyalty is indeed the basis for very powerful magic.

And suddenly, the future of the battle looked quite a bit less bleak to the remaining members of Dumbledore's Army.

XIXIX

Harry clawed his fingernails into his scalp, pulling up hair and drawing blood. The probing Legilimency that assaulted him from three different people through his bond with Voldemort was far more than he could take. But the continued laughter was worse.

It was that twisted, insane laughter of Bellatrix LeStrange. It was that sniveling, pitiful laughter of Wormtail. And it was that high-pitched, grating laughter of Lord Voldemort.

And pain seared through Harry's brain, as the white-hot scar on his forehead continued to _burn, burn, burn!_ They had broken past his carefully erected defenses, but it was not enough for them to merely break his shields. They were breaking his mind, using his own memories as weapons against himself. His mind flashed with images of fear, pain, humiliation, and failure, and each image seemed to draw forth another wave of manic laughter.

But then an image came to the forefront of his mind, quite unlike the others that had appeared before it. In a panic, Harry fought to suppress it, knowing the damage it could do. But he was out of control. His will to fight was lost in his insanity. And so the image remained at the front of his mind.

It was extended. It was reviewed.

The laughter stopped.

And try as he might, Harry could not stop remembering hanging from Voldemort's ceiling, torn open from sternum to groin, his intestines strewn about the room, a living decoration, while Voldemort ranted about how he, Snape, had once again failed to deliver the Potter boy.

Harry was caught in the memory, caught in the danger that came with Voldemort realizing that Harry had this memory.

"Why Severus," began Bellatrix somewhere between anger and joy, "You failed to tell me you bonded with the boy!"

The Voldemorts had turned enough of their attention to Severus for Harry to shove down the memory and open his eyes to the horror that surrounded him. He had felt closed off, like he was alone, far secluded from the others with whom he had entered the forest. Trapped in his head, it had seemed as though the battle in the clearing had ended.

But the battle raged on, and with the addition of more Death Eaters. Harry saw lumps of people in school robes lying throughout the clearing. He saw Hermione and Neville and a few others fighting desperately against impossible odds. He saw Severus contorted in a gruesome display of anatomy, held at wandpoint by a figure that shifted seamlessly in Harry's perception from Voldemort, to Bellatrix, to James Potter, and back again.

Harry saw all of this and wanted to just lie down and die rather than face such terror. Severus turned his eyes to him and Harry's heart nearly broke for the traitorous thoughts he was having. He couldn't give up now.

"Aaah…" It was Bellatrix, and Harry's eyes turned to her and she smiled nastily, looking between the bonded men. "He means a lot to you then?" she asked, and it didn't matter, really, to whom she was speaking because the answer was the same regardless, and she knew it.

"No, no, no, no, no, No, NO!" Harry was struggling to his feet, struggling to regain control. He was looking at James Potter, who narrowed his eyes evilly at Severus before turning back to Harry. It was Voldemort, whose narrow lips parted in an obscene smile. But it was Bellatrix who turned back to Severus, her wand held high as she opened her mouth…

Harry was assaulted by another image—his godfather falling through the veil.

"Stop!" Neville was standing suddenly beside Harry, aiming his wand at Bellatrix. "I'm warning you," he said, his cheerful voice deepened with hatred and threat.

Bellatrix cocked her head and smiled sweetly as one would to a baby. "Lucius, darling," she called, and he stepped forward obediently. "Take care of Severus, will you?" She snarled down at the bloodied Potions Master. "Show him a good time."

Lucius bowed to her and turned to Severus with a smile on his face that quickly turned to a sneer. Harry felt a surge of defiance through his bond from Severus.

Neville squared his stance. Harry raised his wand as well, but it was only for show. He felt useless to stop Bellatrix from killing Neville.

Bellatrix stepped forward and stuck out her lower lip in a pout. "Oh, is ickle Wongbottom going to wevenge his pawents now?"

Neville's wandhand began to shake in anger.

"Are you going to make me suffer like I made them suffer?" she sneered. "Are you going to send me to that madhouse St. Mungo's with your mommy and daddy?"

"_Incendio!_" shouted Neville, a bolt of fire to match his fury shooting out of his wand to consume Bellatrix. But Bellatrix countered it instantly, putting out the flames, and sending a simple tripping hex that send Neville sprawling in the dirt.

"Tell me, Longbottom," she said, her voice now serious and eerily reminiscent of Voldemort's own, "Do you want a taste of the torture your parents felt?"

From the ground, Neville opened his mouth to speak, but instead, a scream ripped out of him as pain beyond pain took over his body as Bellatrix cast the Cruciatus Curse upon him. Harry raised his wand to her, but Wormtail and Voldemort both turned to him and slammed him with another assault in his mind, breaking his defenses one more time. He fell to his knees again.

Neville's scream seemed to last forever, but Bellatrix had different plans for him than the insanity his parents suffered. He lay on the ground, coughing and panting, tears running across his temples and dripping down to mingle with the dirt. Bellatrix trained her wand on him, but paused in her assault against him, waiting for him to recover himself. As soon as she saw a flicker of resolution in his eyes to move against her, she crushed the moment of hope he had of winning with another curse.

"_Imperio_," she spoke clearly, burning with the urge to dominate and the intent to destroy.

Immediately, Neville's eyes glazed over and a sort of half-smile spread across his face. He shuffled to his feet and stared blankly at Bellatrix.

"Kiss my feet, Longbottom," she said, and Neville dropped to his knees and crawled forward to kiss her muddied boots.

"And those of Lord Voldemort," she continued, and Neville complied, moving to kiss the feet of the Dark Lord, who smiled approvingly.

"Stand before me," she said, and he did.

"Tell me your parents deserved what they got," she said, her voice dropping into a vicious snarl. But Neville paused.

Incensed, Bellatrix bellowed, "_IMPERIO_!" Neville staggered under the weight of the curse, but remained silent. His face contorted as he both tried to speak and tried to resist.

Bellatrix's anger seemed to visibly fume off of her as she whispered dangerously, "Pick up your wand, boy," and she redoubled the strength of her curse. Neville could not help but lean down and retrieve his wand from the forest floor.

Bellatrix was seething, her power radiating full force from her. She glanced darkly to where Harry knelt, her eyes darkening with her vicious intent. "Cast the Killing Curse on Harry Potter," she said.

Voldemort raised an eyebrow at the kneeling hero, and lessened his assault against Harry so that he could experience these next few moments completely. The game to Voldemort was that he sent the continuous and urgent thought to Harry that the only way to protect himself from the Killing Curse would be to cast it on Neville first. He was interested to see if The Boy Who Lived was willing to kill a friend in order to save his own life.

Harry, freed somewhat from the assault on his mind, grabbed for his wand and turned immediately to Neville as he raised his wand under order of the Imperius Curse. For the life of him, all Harry knew to do to save himself was to kill Neville. He knew it couldn't be right, but there was no time to figure it out. There was no time to think. There was only time to react, and the only reaction possible was to cast the Killing Curse on his friend.

Harry didn't know what to do. All he knew was that this was not it. He lowered his wand and closed his eyes.

Neville broke out into a cold sweat, straining desperately to keep his mouth closed, but Bellatrix LeStrange was just too powerful, and his lips parted.

"Avada…"

The knowledge of what to do was fed to him through the Imperius Curse. He wanted to resist. He wanted to stop, but he couldn't. He began the correct wand movement.

"Kedavra." Neville jerked himself violently, but it was done.

A flash of green issued forth from the tip of his wand, and it was so bright that Harry could see it through his eyelids. But nothing happened. He opened his eyes tentatively, just in time to see Bellatrix fall forward into the dirt. Neville stood facing her, his wand hand shaking violently. Bellatrix LeStrange was dead.

A shock wave shook the forest. A horrific rushing sound filled the clearing and a stab of fear drove straight into Harry's heart. There was a stirring of magic around the corpse, and then—_Merlin forbid it!_—a ghostly apparition in the likeness of Bellatrix LeStrange began to lift and pull at the body, her very soul rising up, separating itself from the dead flesh.

A reeking darkness permeated the scene, and Harry could finally see the truth of the situation. As a reward for their service and to keep himself safe from Harry's prying mind, the Dark Lord had deposited pieces of himself into both Bellatrix and Wormtail. But they had used some sort of putrid Dark magic that bound their souls, their minds, their strength, so that if one of them died, everything beyond their physical selves would be transported back to Voldemort.

Harry knew this because a deafening quiet fell over the battlefield for the moments of transfer. Voldemort and Wormtail both ceased their assaults against Harry and he was again able to control his significant power. He could _see_ Voldemort's plan because it was the sole thought in Voldemort's mind as the plan began to come to fruition. And Harry watched it happen, helpless to stop the combination of two into one.

The sick, black, spirit essence of the fallen Bellatrix split from its body and flew with frightening speed to the waiting Voldemort. He stood with his hands open to it, and as it collided with him, absorbing into him, another shockwave shook the forest.

All eyes were on Voldemort, who was radiating the newly combined power. Harry felt frozen with terror and hopelessness. He had been scared of Voldemort before, but now that he saw what was becoming of him, Harry's horror was absolute, leaving him empty and helpless. There was nothing to be done against this.

'Don't give up, Potter!' snarled a voice inside his head with such authority that Harry nearly didn't. But this was too much. He could never survive this.

And then Harry's mind opened and closed and Harry looked up from where he was laying on the ground, his body pulsing with pain. He was looking up at Lucius Malfoy, who had been torturing him but had turned away briefly to witness the evolution of his Lord. Harry was seeing through Severus' eyes. Severus was bloodied but not begging. Never begging.

'Remember what you have come through,' thought Severus. 'You are stronger because of the pain in your past. You have faced fear before.'

'I'm lost,' thought Harry. 'I can't do this.'

And once again, Harry was slammed with an assault in his mind, but this one was not entirely unwelcome. Severus was using the last of his strength, not to survive his torture, but to possess Harry Potter, and firmly re-implant every memory from his life that Harry had sieved out.

Harry had been here before—lying nearly broken before Lucius, kneeling before Voldemort, nearly paralyzed with abject terror at what might come—but two lifetimes he had lasted, and he could get out of this too if he had the strength of will.

Harry opened his eyes and looked into the victorious red eyes of Voldemort as the combination of powers completed itself inside him. The sounds of battle began to resume around them. Then, Harry seemed to _feel_ the thoughts of Wormtail, and he looked over in alarm.

"Foolish boy," Wormtail chastised, turning to Neville.

Neville was struck by the horror of what had just happened, but was somehow still on his feet despite the overwhelming shock that continuously renewed itself in him. He raised his wand in a dumb imitation of Wormtail's action, but he had not recovered himself enough to duel, and Harry could see that in his eyes.

Wormtail began the smooth flicking of his wand and hissed, "Avada…"

Harry jumped to his feet, coming to stand between Wormtail and Neville, and the curse died on Wormtail's lips. His eyes widened, and his face fell just a little as he stared at Harry. He glanced nervously over his shoulder at Voldemort, and turned back to Harry with a fire burning in his eyes.

"Avada…"

He opened and closed his mouth several times, but could not bring himself to complete the curse. His eyes flashed anger, confusion, and fear. Harry saw easily into his troubled mind.

It was betrayal. It was James and Lily, dead because of him. It was Remus and Sirius, begging to kill him, and it was Harry Potter, saving his life. It was a life debt he had not repaid. It was his inability to kill his enemy. It was the look in the Dark Lord's eyes, and knowing that his Lord was unwilling now to raise a hand to save him from the boy he could not fight. It was betrayal, his master's and his own.

The final betrayal would be to himself.

He flicked his wrist and shouted desperately, "Avada Kedavra!" And with a flash of green that did not fly across the clearing, Peter Pettigrew slumped forward, and was gone from the world of the living.

Another shockwave shook the forest floor.

Harry stepped back, shoving against Neville roughly. "Neville, get out of here."

"Harry, I'm not leaving you."

Harry shoved him again. "This is between me and Voldemort. Go."

"But—"

"Neville, go now! Go protect Ginny!"

Neville nodded, having been given a purpose to accomplish. And then he was gone.

Harry was alone now, watching the sick display of Peter Pettigrew's soul separating from its corpse. Voldemort stood waiting, heedless to the proximity of his mortal enemy.

"_Impedimentia!_" shouted Harry, but the magic was rebounded. Wormtail's soul would not be stopped. Harry shifted his perception, opening himself up to the magic flying through the clearing, and he could see the protections inherent to the bonding spell between Lord and servant. The strength of the shields surrounding Voldemort and Wormtail were easily as strong as the love protection left on Harry as the final gift from his mother.

There was nothing to do but wait, and be ready.

Wormtail's soul flew to Voldemort and the force of impact as the two collided sent one more shockwave through the forest, but Harry did not stagger. He waited. He waited for the completion of the bonding union that was strengthening the snake-faced Dark Lord to the height of terrifying powers. And then he raised his wand.

Almost instantly, Voldemort began an assault against Harry's mental defenses. But now, Harry had history on his side. He had many years worth of memories of lying to this demented wizard, and that alone gave him the confidence he needed to control his strength of will. His Occlumency shields remained firmly intact and he spread his perceptions throughout the clearing. He "watched" the others to ensure he was not hit from behind. But more importantly, he opened himself into Voldemort, never fearing for a second that he would lose himself.

Failure was not an option now. This was the end.

Harry knew that the magic he was radiating was powerful enough to seem almost tangible. But Voldemort was the same, and he still had many years of experience in the Dark Arts that Harry did not have, even with the addition of Severus' life.

Harry knew he would have to use everything that he was just to _keep up_ in the imminent duel against Voldemort. And he wouldn't let himself worry about it yet, but he honestly didn't have a clue as to how to finish this. They had never figured out how to sever Voldemort's link to the land of the living.

And time had kind of run out.

Refusing to panic, Harry focused on matters at hand. His consciousness was expanded and Harry experienced the magic as it flew through the air around them. He felt the texture of the air, mingled with Dark and Light magics. He felt the breath of his enemy, the hatred of his enemy, and the intention of his enemy.

Voldemort wanted to destroy him, break him apart piece by piece. He had used the paradox of his split self to chip away at Harry's sanity, but Harry could see the truth now, so Voldemort had lost that edge. But still, entirely sure of his superiority, Voldemort thrust the probing fingers of Legilimency at the young wizard before him, intent on _owning_ him, controlling him entirely.

Harry's scar was burning, and he wondered again, briefly, at their connection. Staring into the eye of such evil, Harry had to be amazed that he had survived this long. But that he _had_ only gave him more reason to believe he would again live to see another day.

Voldemort's red eyes twitched and Harry realized he had let his lips quirk into a smile. He narrowed his eyes with an arrogant, childish look of derision. He knew Voldemort was underestimating him. That could work to his advantage. Harry was about to say something cocky and foolish, but then the texture of the air changed again.

Something was happening.

Harry could not suffer the loss of a moment to look away to this new appearance in the clearing, but something bizarre was definitely happening not too far from them. Harry did not feel threatened by it, so he kept his attention focused on the intense mental altercation between himself and Voldemort.

He was therefore quite stunned to see two spirits coming up behind Voldemort, sweeping _through_ Voldemort, and coming to rest between the two wizards. He was even more stunned, however, when Voldemort's attempts to break into Harry's mind faltered, and Voldemort fell to his knees.

"My Lord Slytherin," said Voldemort, his eyes cast down.

Harry stared in shock, first at the suddenly kneeling Voldemort, then at the two spirits. They were wizard manifestations, dressed in ancient robes and huge wide-brimmed, floppy hats. With long flowing hair and beards, the two wizard spirits looked very similar, although entirely distinct. One was long and lean with sharp, piercing eyes that seemed to stand out as real flesh in the midst of a spirit body. The other was shorter, stockier, with broad shoulders and a strong brow. They looked familiar to Harry. He had seen their likenesses somewhere before.

The taller one stood firm before Voldemort, looking down on him in disgust.

"So this is what has become of my bloodline," he said, shaking his head in shame.

And Harry remembered. He had seen these men before in a painting of the Founders that Hermione had shown him once in Hogwarts, A History. Standing before him were the spirits of Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor!

"My Lord!" said Voldemort, looking up sharply. "In ten days' time I shall own the entire wizarding world! What more is there to be done!"

"You are a disgrace to my seed, you mudblood cur!" shouted Slytherin. "You have taken every principle I stood for and twisted it. You have turned the entire wizarding world against you!"

"The wizarding world worships me!" shot Voldemort, rising to his feet. "They fear and respect me, because I am the only one who can lead them to salvation!"

Gryffindor barked laughter, coming to stand beside Harry. "Tough luck on heirs, Sal," he said, resting his cold spirit hand on Harry's shoulder. "Better luck in the next millennium."

Voldemort turned on him, his wand raised high, "Silence, you!"

Gryffindor and Slytherin swept forward to Voldemort, and a swirling wind began to blow dangerously around them. Voldemort stepped backward in alarm, but he held his wand high and gritted his teeth in defiance of his fear.

"The world doesn't respect you, Tom," roared Gryffindor.

"They hate you," hissed Slytherin in Parseltongue. "The whole world is against you."

"They would sooner follow my teenage heir than you," said Gryffindor.

"They would sooner _DIE_ than follow you," said Slytherin.

Voldemort's red eyes flashed with fury, and Harry panicked, remembering the prophecies. It was loyalty that Voldemort was after—loyalty and servitude. And then he would craft the world into a wizarding paradise, with himself reigning supreme. Voldemort had truly believed the wizarding world would stand behind him in the end, and he would feel betrayed to think that everyone would rather die than do so.

To Voldemort, there was nothing worse than death. And the wizarding world—_his people_—choosing death over him was the worst betrayal possible. Voldemort killed betrayers. He tortured them, destroying them painfully.

Harry saw the change take place in Voldemort's mind. His desire to conquer and control shifted seamlessly into the desire to decimate entirely.

The Dark Lord turned his eyes to Salazar Slytherin, his greatest ancestor, and hissed venomously, "If they will not follow me, then they shall have their wish!"

He raised his wand and shouted, "_MOSMORDE!_"

Out of the tip of his wand exploded the Dark Mark, flying high into the air above the clearing, hung with the damning message, "For You, Harry Potter."

A wash of cold took hold of Harry's body, mind, and heart. The air seemed to freeze as a group of Dementors descended upon the clearing, drawn to the Darkness. Gryffindor and Slytherin were tearing at Voldemort, trying to fight him in the last desperate moments before the Dementors were present, but Voldemort swept them away with his powerful magic, loosed completely in his rage.

The spirit Founders looked to the Dementors closing in, and had no choice but to retreat. The Dementors could even suck the souls of those already dead, as the Founders had witnessed elsewhere on the battlefield this day.

"Courage, Harry Potter!" yelled out Godric Gryffindor as he swept away. "Strength of heart and courage!"

The words struck Harry like adrenaline, and in the next instant he was hit one more time with the memory of prophecies. They flashed through his head in rapid succession, so quickly that time around him seemed to slow almost to a standstill in comparison to the speed of the activity in his brain.

Fear. Hermione had mentioned several times the recurring theme of fear in the prophecies, and her certainty of its importance. And now Dementors were storming in while Harry stood face to face with the most fearsome Voldemort that had yet existed.

Dementors…

Hermione had told the story. "_Well, at some unspecified time 'long ago', some unspecified dark wizard was trying to destroy souls. He thought he had succeeded, but his 'experiments' were forever hungering for souls that they themselves did not have. They eventually ate his."_

They had been trying to figure out a way to kill Voldemort's soul, but killing souls couldn't be done, said Malfoy, "Not by wizards, at any rate. It is believed that Dementors actually do completely destroy the souls they consume, because there's not a known case of a successful séance with someone who was given the Dementor's kiss."

Another day. Another memory. _Harry shuddered at the thought of the Dementor's kiss. "Such vile creatures," he said._

"Yeah, but too bad they're on Voldemort's side," said Ron. "If they worked for the Order, we could sic 'em after Voldemort."

But that wasn't possible. And that wasn't what Harry was supposed to do anyway, was it? Hermione had _seen_ it that day when Crabbe and Goyle attacked them outside the Great Hall. She said she saw that "_We were going to go to the library with Malfoy and that he would help us get on the right track with our research."_

And they had all thought that when Malfoy put them on the right track it was when he told them to focus on severing Voldemort's link with the living. Nobody knew how to do that, because nobody knew what Voldemort had done to tie himself to life.

But that wasn't it. Harry was sure of it now. It was the Dementors. They destroyed souls completely, and Malfoy told them as much that same day.

In the blink of an eye, these memories had smashed through his consciousness and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that it all came down to his own strength, his own heart, and his own courage. It all came back to fear, to the Dementors.

Harry had to face them. It was the only way.

Gryffindor's words were still echoing in the air, "_Courage, Harry Potter!"_ and Harry glanced around himself. Voldemort was shaking in his rage, truly and completely lost in the insanity brought on by what he perceived to be absolute betrayal. The air was frigid and permeated by the stink of death as the Dementors gathered closer, bringing with them a blinding darkness.

'Almost…' thought Harry, as one drew near to him, it's decomposed hand reaching out to him. Harry stood still, knowing that Voldemort thought him to be paralyzed in fear.

It was almost touching him. It took every bit of control Harry had to stand tall, to fight down his darkest memories against the onslaught of morbid despair that pressed in on him.

And then he raised his wand. Turning on Voldemort suddenly, he yelled the first curse that came to his mind, "_Stupify!_"

But Voldemort was ready, and yelled out, "_Crucio!_" at the same moment.

The power behind their magic issued forth bright flashes of light that slammed together midway between them, exploding into a beautiful glowing shell that surrounded the two wizards in dazzling tendrils of interweaving light. The powerful and heartening song of a phoenix filled Harry's ears, stirring his heart, and giving him the strength he needed to go through with this.

The Dementor was trapped inside the golden web with them. It staggered in the midst of the casing made of light, upset by the song of the phoenix.

Harry was holding his wand with both hands, and the stream of magic between the two wizards began moving once again toward Voldemort's wand. But Voldemort seemed unconcerned by the display.

Fast as lightening, he reached into his robe and withdrew another wand, but before he had a chance to cast the first curse against Harry, Harry opened one of his hands and whispered, "_Accio_."

Voldemort's second wand flew into his open hand. Harry gripped it hard, pushing with his thumb. The wand snapped in two. Harry let the pieces fall to the ground beside him.

Voldemort's eyes were wild with fury as he looked at the Boy Who Lived.

"You are a wandless spellcaster, I see," hissed Voldemort in Parseltongue.

"I am," replied Harry simply.

"Are you going to kill me now?" hissed the Dark Lord with a smile.

"Yes," said Harry, "I am." His voice was shaking. He did not want to do this.

Voldemort mistook Harry's tone for uncertainty, and he grinned maliciously. "You cannot kill me, Potter. My flesh may die, but my soul will live." He was breathing heavily, snarling with triumph, "And I will haunt you all the days of your life, Potter. I will destroy you more completely than you could ever dream of destroying me!"

Harry glanced to the Dementor, who was flailing its arms about uselessly against the magic of the golden web that surrounded them. Harry swallowed hard. 'Courage,' he thought. Sirius had told him. Godric Gryffindor had told him. Now was the time for courage. He could do this.

"You can't control my Dementors, you foolish boy!" hissed Voldemort.

Harry turned back to him with a sad look in his eye, wanting anything but what he was about to do. And Voldemort's face fell. He had seen something flicker across Harry's gaze, and Voldemort was afraid.

Harry turned back to the Dementor, and split himself in two. Standing there, holding strong a wand that was bound to Voldemort's, holding Voldemort captive, Harry opened his mind…

In a flash, everything was darkness—the putrescence of a rotted being. The mind of a Dementor felt like scum to Harry. It was sickeningly hollow, desperately longing to suck life into its being, but eternally unable.

The magic in the shell was stabbing into it, destroying it slowly with relentless attacks of goodness that it could not absorb, of life it could not take, of magic it could not flee. The part of Harry that was taking possession of the Dementor shied away from the power that the other part of Harry, standing strong with his wand trained on Voldemort, was emanating.

And a deadening sensation began to take over his consciousness. Entering the mind of a Dementor was like bathing in a rancid sea of maggoty blood. Harry grasped at the delicate balance of control, but he was being sucked in. The Dementor was getting to his soul after all.

Standing with his wand, Harry began to feel very cold, chilled to his bones, chilled in his blood, chilled in his mind, chilled in his heart. Life—his soul—was leaving him.

Harry rallied his strength. He rallied his control. He held onto the memories of his life as a Death Eater spy, remembering everything he had come through before. But memories of torture that he had endured and torture he had committed fed into the Dementor's strength, helping it to gain control.

Harry became aware of a burning sensation against his chest, and he saw tendrils of white light leaping out from his locket, surrounding him, and filling him with the most wonderful feelings of joy and happiness Harry had ever felt.

And again he remembered strength, but he remembered the strength that love had given him. He remembered Nicolas and Perenelle presenting him with the locket. He remembered Sirius asking him if he would like to live with him. He remembered Lupin telling him he thought of him as a son. He remembered Hermione, and Ron, and Ginny, his beloved twin. He remembered all of the Weasleys and the family they had become for him. He remembered Severus, his mentor and friend. He remembered himself through Severus' memories, and the aching love he felt for the man that had grown from the insolent brat he had loathed. And he remembered Malfoy, curled up with him, and blushing when he had been caught watching Harry sleep, and his smile, and his jealousy, and his complicated eyes, and his arrogance, and his dry sense of humor. And Malfoy _chose_ him—chose Harry over his father.

And once again, Harry was in control.

He looked at Voldemort, struggling with all his might against the bond between his wand and Harry's. But Harry's power pulsed through the stream of magic that held them together, and Voldemort was helpless in his resistance.

And Harry looked up at the two wizards, and around at the casing of light that drove into him like daggers, and he held onto the disgusting feeling that enveloped him, the darkness that surrounded him.

Harry Potter was inside the mind of a Dementor. And Harry Potter was in control.

He began to sweep forward to the red-eyed human, a predator stalking its prey. The scaly, inhuman face turned toward his and then looked to Harry's other part.

"No… No, it's not possible!" he shouted desperately.

"It's over, Tom," replied Harry.

Voldemort shook his head, pulling against his wand but unable to let go. "No! It can't… You can't…"

Harry was closing in on him, pushed forward by a human mind, but driven by the desire of the Dark creature within to devour life—to consume what could never be its own.

Voldemort was struggling uselessly, maddened further as he screamed out his denial, "Can't be… It… Wizards cannot possess non-humans! You can't… Mind magic is impossible on magic creatures! No! No, it's not… This isn't happening!"

Harry reached up and lowered his hood, revealing the face of death—but worse than death. It was the ultimate destruction of life. There was nothing after the Dementor's Kiss.

And he began to suck, inhaling deeply huge gasps of air that went right through him. Voldemort was frozen as Harry loosed his magic completely on him, bringing forth every bad feeling, every memory of every misdeed, pulling at the pain of life and devouring it whole. Darkness was the meat, the epitome of existence. Pain was the purpose. Pain was real. Hatred and vengeance and sadness and disgust—this was what made humans truly alive. And Harry fed on it, swallowed it all. Voldemort had much to offer.

And slowly, with determined precision, Harry leaned forward and placed the decomposed flesh of his lips to those of Voldemort, and for one very brief moment, he knew the feeling of what it was to be alive—to truly be alive. As Voldemort's soul left his body uninhabited, it flashed through the entire being of the Dementor, filling it with life, filling it with _feeling_. But then it was gone and all that remained was the sick, hollowness of a putrid, soulless existence.

Harry let go of Voldemort's limp body. It dropped unceremoniously to the ground.

And then Harry slipped out of the Dementor's consciousness, slamming fully back into his own body, which was wrapped in the tangle of the sweeter emotions emanating from his locket.

Voldemort lay in a heap, his eyes a listless, dull red. His wand lay in the grass. The golden web was gone, but it had been replaced by another bright light. Looking around, Harry saw brilliant white beasts galloping around the clearing, driving the Dementors away. He felt a tug on his locket and knew that Nicolas and Perenelle were there, trying to locate him through the gift they had given him.

Harry stepped forward and his knees gave out. He crumpled to the ground. He felt entirely used, wasted. He didn't want to think about the amount of magic he had just performed. All he knew was that, regardless of the consequences, he had one more spell to cast.

Crawling on all fours, he very slowly made his way through the dirt and grass to where Voldemort was laying. He looked into the half-lidded, soulless eyes, and Harry felt something akin to regret. He thought through the memories he had of Tom Riddle, of Lord Voldemort. Things could have been so different with this wizard. But there was no use wondering what good things could have come had Tom Riddle lived a different life. All Harry knew was that things could have turned out much worse.

"Neither can live…"

It had always come down to that, to a prophecy made shortly before Harry's birth. Now, nearly seventeen years later, the two wizards lay side by side on the forest floor, and the time had come to fulfill the prophecy.

Harry held out his wand weakly. This had to be done. He gathered his strength and took a deep breath. "Avada Kedavra," he said with a deft flick of the wrist. There was a flash of green, and then the empty eyes of Tom Riddle were dead.

"Goodbye," Harry whispered, and he lay on his back, conscious that his own heart had stopped beating. And then, lying in the midst of that battlefield, Harry Potter gasped, and shuddered, and began to cry.

The tendrils of white were surrounding him again, pulling at him, but Harry didn't have the energy to go to Nicolas and Perenelle. He didn't have the energy for anything but grief. Voldemort had been the purpose of his existence for so long now that Harry felt as though he had just committed suicide by destroying the Dark Lord. There was nothing anymore. There was…

'Harry, where are you?'

There was Ginny—nearby, barely conscious and calling to him. Harry reached out to her through their bond, and she was the lifeline he needed in order to move again. He rolled onto his stomach and began pulling himself forward, following an invisible trail to her.

He crawled across the clearing, surrounded by Patronuses that stormed through. He crawled past Death Eaters and students that lay incapacitated or dead. He crawled through the running feet of Order Members and other reinforcements that shouted out in all different languages. He crawled to Ginny.

Neville was there, holding her hand and keeping a steady watch, a steady shield against the few random curses that were still being called out.

"Harry!" yelled Neville, swept over with relief. "Harry, you made it! What happened? I couldn't see!"

Harry curled up with his broken twin, trying not to hurt her further, but desperately needing contact with something that reminded him of life. He felt the warmth of the magic from the locket surrounding him and Ginny, encasing them both with a soft, healing energy.

'Did you kick his ass?' thought Ginny through their link, and Harry almost smiled.

"Yeah," he said aloud, answering both of them. "He's dead now."

And Neville was saying something, but Harry was only aware of his twin. Then someone else was touching him. Some other voice was saying his name. And it was a great feeling, but it only reminded Harry that he didn't know if Severus was still alive and that he didn't have the strength to get up and find out.

'Sev,' he thought, calling out through the link.

But there was no answer, and Harry didn't have the strength for any more grief. He buried his face into Ginny's neck, and let the darkness take him.

XIXIX

XIX

X


	26. A Necessary Step to Moving On

X

XIX

XIXIX "A Necessary Step to Moving On" XIXIX

Harry opened his tired eyes, wincing as the blinding white light of the infirmary pierced them through. The only color he was immediately aware of was a fiery red at the base of his field of vision. It was Ginny, her head tucked beneath his chin, holding him tightly in a protective embrace. Even in sleep she guarded over him as he did for her. But Harry knew she was awake now. He squeezed her tight, wondering what day it was, why they were in the infirmary, why they were in the same bed…

And then it all came back to him.

In a flood, the memories of the battle washed over him. _Percy and the Death Eaters attacking Ginny, Ron, and Hermione… Ginny being tortured… The rescue mission… The Dark creatures… The spiders… The Death Eaters… Neville killing Bellatrix LeStrange… Wormtail committing suicide… Harry possessing a Dementor… Sucking out Voldemort's soul… Casting Avada Kedavra… Crawling back to Ginny… Trying to contact Severus…_

"Oh Merlin, no!" sobbed Harry, shaking as he remembered his loss. Ginny clutched him closer, but he was struggling, flailing against the memories. There was a stirring nearby, and Harry was aware of light blond hair leaning over him.

"Potter?"

Malfoy was grabbing at him, trying to calm his thrashing, but Harry was wild. He was fighting against the memories, fighting against the loss of his bondmate, fighting against grief. But his hands swished through these things like air, leaving them firmly intact. All he could really fight against were Malfoy and Ginny.

He pushed at them, trying to get a hold of reality so he could tear it apart.

Ginny was trying to soothe him through their bond, but she was half-wild herself, partially from Harry's grief at the memories, partially from her own. Her brother had nearly killed her, and although she didn't know how it happened, she was pretty sure that he was dead.

Malfoy grabbed Harry's arms, and pleaded anxiously, "Harry, stop! Calm down. It's over. It's over."

Harry reached out and caught Malfoy's shoulders in a death grip. His eyes were huge, aimed at Malfoy's eyes, but barely seeing him.

"Severus!" he shouted. "Where is he? Is he d—?" and Harry couldn't bring himself to finish the question. Ginny was holding him tightly, tears streaming out of her closed eyes. It was too much, too soon after waking. The emotions they felt were overwhelming.

Malfoy narrowed his eyes and said, "He's in class!" Irritation was evident in his voice. "He's fine. He's teaching right now."

And Harry finally stopped struggling. Malfoy's words stopped the flood altogether. Even Ginny's emotions paused in their torrential downpour, and she looked up, blinking her eyes free of tears. Harry eyed Malfoy as though seeing him for the first time. His hair was all messed up and his eyes were heavy-lidded. He looked like he had just woken up himself.

"Malfoy?" he whimpered, distrusting his recognition.

"What's wrong, Harry?" asked Malfoy. The annoyance in his voice softened as he looked down into Harry's unsteady gaze.

"He's okay?" asked Harry.

"Yeah," he whispered. "He's fine."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to open his link to Severus. It opened back to him immediately and Harry felt a huge rush of relief from both ends of their bond.

'You're alive,' thought Harry.

'You're awake,' thought Severus at the same time. 'I'll be there as soon as class is over.'

And Harry laughed out loud. He opened his eyes and Malfoy was right in front of him and he was alive and he was there, and Harry felt like his heart might explode. He turned to Ginny and she was well—her body was recovered. She was no longer that unrecognizable mess of blood and pain that she had been on the battlefield. They were together and their bond was open. And Ginny grinned her huge Weasley grin, because her twin had saved her against all impossibilities, and now it was over.

A surge of hysterical joy to match their previously overwhelming grief tore through them both. Ginny bounced up onto her knees, looking like she was about to break out into song.

"Harry!" she shouted. "You did it! We made it!"

Harry let go of Malfoy's shoulders and grabbed his head instead, running his fingers through his messy blonde hair, touching his face, letting the reality of it soak into him. He kissed him hard, smashing their noses together and ignoring the pain that that caused.

"We're all alive," he laughed, and Ginny was laughing too. Harry was bouncing, clutching at Malfoy's shoulders and hands and face, absolutely ecstatic. Malfoy smiled. How could he not?

"We're alive," repeated Harry, "And Voldemort is really dead, isn't he?"

"You did it, Potter," said Malfoy quietly, nodding.

But Harry kept laughing. Ginny shrieked from the happiness surging through them, and Harry screamed, "WE'RE ALIVE!"

He seized Malfoy's robes and pulled him into the bed with him and Ginny and they laughed and wrestled and celebrated the joy of having made it through. They were alive and there was no better feeling on Earth than that.

Caught up in the tangled mess of Harry and Ginny, Malfoy laughed as well, but much less so than the twins. He had been awake for the previous four and a half weeks. He knew everything that had happened.

Madam Pomfrey rushed in and yelled at them to stop, but it was some time before Harry and Ginny could calm their joviality enough for her to examine them and force them to eat. They kicked their legs over the side of the bed and Harry and Ginny enjoyed the best tasting meal of their entire lives. Malfoy sat next to Harry with his head on his shoulder and his arm around his waist, and Harry kissed his hair in between bites, and looked over fondly at the next bed, which was well slept-in. Malfoy had apparently spent a lot of time in the infirmary waiting for Harry to wake up.

Dumbledore came in after they had finished eating, and conjured a huge, squashy chair to sit in. Harry tangled himself back together with Ginny, and Malfoy sat calmly beside him on the edge of the bed. The twins were mostly healed, but they still had time left before their energy would be fully restored. The contact between them seemed to help, which was why Madam Pomfrey had placed them in the same bed to begin with.

"How are you feeling?" asked Dumbledore.

"Tired," said Harry honestly.

"But good," said Ginny.

"I'm glad for that," said Dumbledore. "We were very worried about the two of you. Nobody knew if you were going to wake up."

"How long has it been?" asked Ginny, and she and Harry settled into a more serious mood, realizing there were certain truths they were going to learn that were not going to be easy.

"Thirty-two days," said Dumbledore.

Harry nodded. "That's a long time," he said.

Dumbledore agreed. "You gave us quite a scare. Between the damage you sustained," he said to Ginny, "And the magic you expended," he nodded to Harry, "We were afraid for some time that we had lost you both."

"Professor," began Harry, remembering back to his experience of magical shock, "Am I… I mean, do I—?"

"Madam Pomfrey assures me now that the both of you will recovery fully, powers and all." And Harry felt a bit of relief, but only enough to realize that the loss of his power was not what he was actually worried about after all. Other losses would be much worse.

"Sir," said Ginny, shifting her position, "My family…?"

Dumbledore nodded gravely. "I'm afraid Percy is dead," he said.

"Good," said Ginny immediately, and Harry's cold eyes were daring Dumbledore to say anything against his twin.

"The rest of your family is alive," said the headmaster instead. "I expect you will be seeing them shortly."

Ginny sighed in relief, and Harry said, "What about Hermione and Neville?"

"Alive as well. Harry…"

"Nicolas and Perenelle. And Remus?"

Dumbledore nodded again. "Harry, Ginny. Now may not be the best time to go through the list of casualties. There will be plenty of time…"

"Were there a lot?" asked Ginny.

Dumbledore was quiet for several moments. "Yes," he said, "There were. The wizarding world has a tough road of recovery ahead." He glanced to Malfoy, who looked away. "But the important thing now is that you regain your strength."

Harry felt his heart lift slightly and he looked to the door. A moment later, in walked Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel. They rushed forward to Harry and Ginny's bed. Malfoy slipped off the edge and stood nearby, like and outsider looking in. The Flamels lavished Harry and Ginny with hugs and kisses. Perenelle sat on the side of the bed, leaning over with her arm around Harry, holding him close.

Harry, though glad to see them, was concerned by their appearances. They looked much older—elderly ever. They seemed to have aged several decades since he last saw them. Their faces were wrinkled and their hair was graying. They had lost the youthful appearance they had gained from using the Sorcerer's Stone.

"Perenelle," said Harry softly, touching her hair with a small frown.

"It's okay, Harry," she smiled quietly. "We used a lot of our life-magic to heal people on the battlefield. It's one of the gifts we have, thanks to drinking the Elixir of Life for so long."

Harry felt tears welling up in him, thinking of their unending generosity. "You gave some of your life…" he began.

Nicolas nodded, but waved him off. "We've had plenty," he said with a friendly smile. "Others needed it more."

Harry reached up to his chest and realized he was still wearing the locket they gave him. He rubbed it between his fingers and looked between them before opening his mouth to speak, "It saved my life, you know."

"Good," said Perenelle, planting a kiss firmly on his forehead. "We hoped it would come in handy."

Harry opened his mouth, but the door opened again, and in strode Severus Snape, tall and strong and… very nearly smiling. When he saw Nicolas and Perenelle, he paused his step and bowed to them very deeply.

"Oh, do get up, Severus!" snapped Nicolas with a blush rising to his cheeks.

Perenelle hopped off the bed and bounced over to give Severus a strong hug. "Good to see you, Sev," she murmured.

"I hadn't heard you had returned," he replied.

"We had a feeling Harry might wake up today," said Perenelle with a wink. Then she gasped and reached up to touch Severus' hair. "Oh! You used the tonic!" she squealed.

Severus bowed his head, "Only for you, my Lady Perenelle." He looked up to Harry and the two wizards held eye contact for a moment. Then Severus walked over and clamped his hand firmly on Harry's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're awake, Harry," he said intensely.

"I'm glad you're alive," replied Harry with just as much emotion before he pulled Severus toward him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you," he whispered.

XIXIX

Eventually Madam Pomfrey rushed the visitors out—everyone except Malfoy. She made no move to even attempt to get him to leave. Malfoy didn't speak much, but he stayed by Harry's side as the twins drifted in and out of sleep. At dinnertime, Ron and Hermione came in to see them, and Malfoy slipped out without a word. Dobby came in with dinner trays, and the four talked while they ate.

"You were right, Hermione," said Harry, "About the prophecies. Your visions were real. It was how I figured out what to do in the end."

Hermione shook her head. "I'm just glad you're alive," she said. She didn't ask what exactly Harry had figured out. She didn't ask what exactly Harry had done in the end in order to vanquish Voldemort. Nobody did, but that was just fine with Harry. It was hard to think about, and he certainly wasn't ready to speak about it.

They were silent for a few moments. Then, Ginny asked, "How is the rest of the school?"

Ron looked up from his plate. "Smaller," he said. His eyes were dark. They didn't look like his eyes anymore. A thick sadness seemed to hang over him. "Classes started up again about a week after the attack," he said. "But nobody really takes them seriously."

Hermione looked like she was going to protest, but then she gave up since Ron was only speaking the truth.

"The teachers are really taking it easy," Ron continued. "Even Snape, if you can imagine it. It's like school is just this way to pick up and keep going. But really, everything is far too messed up right now for anything much to get back to normal."

"Everything seems muted," agreed Hermione solemnly. "People are trying to hard to put the pieces back together, but nobody is ready to push anything."

"What about outside the school?" asked Harry.

Hermione shook her head. "It's kind of bad. They're trying to round up the last of the Death Eaters. They're having trials with veritaserum for just about everyone. Dumbledore was able to put Snape's trial off until summer. He wanted things to die down a bit first. I think he was afraid they'd make Snape a sacrificial lamb."

"Which is total bullshit," said Ron darkly, and Harry was surprised at the feeling behind the sentiment.

"Harry," began Hermione gently, "You should know about Malfoy. He's not really talking much to anybody, but um…"

She dropped her voice, looking down, and Harry saw she was fidgeting with her fingers. "What is it, 'Mione?" he asked worriedly.

"Well, his mother has been given a life sentence in Azkaban. And his father…" She looked over to Ron, who did not meet her eye. She dropped her voice further, until it was barely a whisper. "Harry, he killed his father on the battlefield in order to save Snape."

Harry breathed deeply. Poor Draco. No wonder he had seemed so 'off' all day.

"But it almost didn't matter," said Ron. "Snape nearly died anyway. The Flamels brought him back. Gave him some of their life, apparently." Harry nodded.

"There's more," said Hermione. "Malfoy's been acting kind of crazy since the battle. He'll skip classes to spend long hours in the infirmary, watching over you like he's guarding you, but then he'll go off…" she looked away. "Harry, he's slept with at least a dozen people—"

"I don't care," he said quickly, and he didn't. He knew that whatever Malfoy was doing, he was just trying to cope. It's not like Harry had exactly been there for him for the past month.

Hermione nodded. "I just thought you should know."

"Thanks," said Harry quietly, and he meant it.

XIXIX

Over the next few days, Harry and Ginny had a lot of guests in the infirmary. The Weasleys all came in. Molly and Arthur were caught somewhere between yelling at Harry and Ginny for undergoing such a dangerous bond at such a dangerous time, and welcoming Harry to the family and insisting that he stay the summer with them at the Burrow. Molly brought in mounds of food—home cooking guaranteed to build up their strength. Bill and Charlie came in together, and Harry could see the grief that Charlie was supporting Bill through. Fred and George were only slightly less boisterous than usual, but did manage to keep Harry and Ginny laughing through most of their visit. They thought it was simply brilliant that there was a new set of twins in the family.

Lupin came in looking tired and worn, but so incredibly relieved that Harry and Ginny had woken up and were okay. He told Harry repeatedly how proud his parents would have been, how proud he was, and insisted that Harry stay at Grimmauld Place with him over the summer. It was technically Harry's house, inherited from Sirius, but Harry wasn't sure he wanted it. Lupin had been living there for most of the last two years, and they had an agreement that he would continue to take care of the place at least until Harry graduated. They would work out the rest later… there was plenty of time.

Malfoy was in the infirmary with them too, almost the entire time. He'd slip in and out while Harry was sleeping, so that Harry never saw him either come or go except for the first time Ron and Hermione came by. Every other time they visited, he stayed on, but he didn't say much of anything, not that he was saying much of anything anyway. Harry decided that during their first visit, Malfoy had wanted to give Harry's best friends a chance to tell him what Malfoy had been doing. Or maybe he had just wanted to give them a chance to visit alone. Whatever the reason, he didn't shy away again. And for that, Harry was quietly pleased.

It seemed as though more than half the school came in to visit, coming in twos and threes, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, but always saying they were glad that Harry and Ginny had recovered. Everyone seemed to have been greatly affected by the battle. Harry could see it in their eyes—a sort of wisdom, or maturity, or understanding of pain, that had previously been lacking. The carefree innocence of youth was gone.

But if Harry was overwhelmed by that, it was nothing to the shock of returning to school one week later.

Walking the halls, going to classes, and eating in the Great Hall, Harry and Ginny quickly realized that nearly the _entire_ school had visited them in the infirmary—or, what was left of the school. The death toll had been immense. There were only twelve seventh years left to graduate this year. Cho was not one of them, Harry noticed, surprised to discover he was truly sad about it despite the fact that he hadn't even spoken to her at all through the year.

Grief hung heavy in the halls, but with it, the students latched on determinedly to a feeling of accomplished victory. They had held the school safe until reinforcements arrived. The final battle in the war against You-Know-Who had happened at Hogwarts, and Hogwarts had won.

But Ron and Hermione had been right. School was mainly a formality for the rest of the year. It was a necessary step to moving on. The coursework was light, but persistent. And so life continued, in imitation of itself.

His dorm room seemed a lot quieter, despite Neville's continued snoring. Dean and Seamus' parents had both come to retrieve their things while Harry had been unconscious. Harry had missed all of the funeral services. Gryffindor had lost a lot of students. Its population was down by half. There had even been a number of first and second year casualties, since a bunch of them had joined the DA. And they had bravely entered the battlefield just like they had practiced in order to help wounded students into the infirmary.

Harry thought back often to those few moments in the infirmary when he had felt true joy just at the thought of being alive. The sadness that permeated the school was so complete that it gave life a sort of hollow quality that reminded Harry of possessing the Dementor. He needed that memory of the joy sometimes just to make it through the day.

It seemed sometimes that everyone was withdrawing into themselves, but there wasn't much else to be expected. A war like that was bound to change people. Life was just going to be hard for a while.

Psycho-magicians came in regularly to talk to the students, to help them work through their feelings of loss, but Harry never went to speak to them. He didn't think there were too many people out there who could understand what he had gone through. Whenever they came, he would instead go down to the dungeons to spend time with Severus. They didn't really speak, or do anything in particular. Harry just liked being near someone who knew how he felt.

Severus never asked anything of him, never offered advice or a shoulder to cry on. He was just there for Harry, working in silence when Harry simply didn't want to be alone, and talking about potions and other neutral topics when the silence became oppressive and Harry needed to hear the sound of someone's voice to pull him out of the dreadful sludge of his memory of being a Dementor.

Severus never pressed him to sieve out the memories. Harry didn't think he would be able to leave any of it behind. He seemed to need it—every bit of it. He needed to be able to hold onto every day of Severus' life, even the incongruous love for his parents and hatred of the Marauders. He needed to keep the pieces of Voldemort he had retained during the time when Legilimency turned into possession. He even needed the horror of being the Dementor, just to remember what he had done.

The memories hurt him terribly sometimes, but Harry couldn't justify being without them. He couldn't bring himself to let any of them go. They were so much a part of his experiences now that removing even a single one would be a betrayal of sorts; he would be lying to himself about who he had become. They were shaping him, had shaped him, and would continue to shape him into a man with an uncertain and difficult past, but a wide-open future.

Harry spent a lot of time with Malfoy, walking around in silence, making love often. They never spoke about anything of consequence. They just weren't ready for that. Malfoy never spoke about the battle, his parents, his past, or his future. When he talked it was about the present day—things that had happened a few minutes ago, what he was planning to do in a few minutes' time, and how the lake or the clouds or a random stone in the wall looked to him right now. He noticed insignificant things, but spoke of them as though they were of great consequence. Harry lay underneath the beech tree with him one afternoon with his eyes closed, listening to Malfoy speak for fifteen minutes about a single blade of grass. It was the only thing Malfoy said out loud that entire day.

Ron was having a hard time too. He would disappear for long periods of time and nobody would know where he had gone or when he would be back. He seemed to distance himself from everybody, Hermione too. Harry had asked Hagrid once if Ron was going to his cabin during the times he disappeared, but Hagrid said it was only sometimes, and only when Hagrid didn't try to speak to him.

Hermione passed her time outside of class in the library, or in Trelawney's tower. She spent a lot of time with Luna since Crabbe was in Azkaban. He was serving a short sentence, thanks to Luna's testimony and Crabbe's, both under veritaserum. He would be out at the end of the summer, in time to come back to Hogwarts and re-sit his sixth year. Hermione and Luna shared their love of books with each other. They retreated into their world of the written word.

The only one Harry really spoke to, was Ginny. They shared all of their thoughts anyway. Ginny could help Harry feel _real_ again, feel normal. They'd go flying sometimes, or swimming, and sometimes Harry would laugh. And they'd share thoughts sometimes, communicating silently, and sometimes Harry would cry.

Ginny's persistent strength really showed through during this time. She pulled herself together in a way that no one else seemed willing, or able to do. The remaining members of the DA clung to her—coming to her for therapy almost as much as they went to the psycho-magicians. She made people _believe_ that life could go on, even after everything. And slowly, life did. Harry was really impressed with his twin, doing what she did for everybody. Because he sure as hell couldn't.

Exam time came and Hermione tried to rally up an enthusiasm to study amongst her friends, even though the exams would doubtfully be that difficult. Harry humored her, diving into his books even though he didn't need to study at all. He had Severus' memories, and all of the knowledge that came with them. Ginny tackled her books as well, but Ron couldn't be bothered to even pretend to study. Hermione would always look at him with large worried eyes, but that only seemed to drive him farther away. Harry wanted to tell her that he would come around, but he wasn't sure he believed it himself so he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.

XIXIX

After exams ended, Harry dressed Malfoy in some of his nicer muggle clothes. Malfoy let him, even though the clothes weren't really up to Malfoy standard. But Harry had a feeling that no muggle clothing would be, so he decided not to worry about it. At least they weren't as shabby as the old hand-me-downs that he used to wear.

The two wizards walked hand in hand to the edge of Hogwarts grounds, and Harry held out his wand. With a loud _pop!_ the Knight Bus appeared. Malfoy looked at Harry uncertainly, but Harry urged him on. They boarded and the bus disappeared. Hand in hand still, they sat in huge comfy chairs that slid back and forth in a jarring manner. The bus was nearly empty, so it didn't take _too_ long for them to arrive in Little Whinging.

Harry felt strange being back in the area, but he needed to do this. They walked the streets, avoiding Privet Dr., which Harry never wanted to see again. Instead, they walked to a nearby cemetery and strolled up and down the rows of headstones until they found the Dursleys'.

Their graves were covered, absolutely covered, with every type of flower imaginable. Harry realized that the flowers were all charmed with magic to make them last indefinitely. No doubt, some of his fans had taken it upon themselves to pay their respects to the family of You-Know-Who's defeater. He let out a dark laugh.

Malfoy looked at him, startled.

Harry motioned to the flowers in explanation. "They hated magic," he said. "They hated the wizarding world, and they hated me. And now the Golden Boy's fans will forever visit their graves and leave them magical flowers." He laughed again, shaking his head, but it didn't sound like much of a laugh at all.

Malfoy put his arm around Harry's waist. "Do you miss them?" he asked.

Harry shook his head. "There's a lot I haven't told you," he said. "I mean, I know I told you some of it that day in detention with the veritaserum, but…"

"Wait, I thought you said you lied that day," cut in Malfoy.

"I just lied about not caring about you."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes slightly. "You mean—they really _did_ lock you in a cupboard?"

Harry nodded.

"Like, a _cupboard_ cupboard—not like you're exaggerating and you just had a small bedroom?"

"The cupboard under the stairs _was_ my bedroom," said Harry, wanting to match Malfoy's outrage at the idea, but finding himself unable. It just felt like another part of him, a small piece of the jigsaw puzzle that was Harry Potter. The cupboard had been his, his sanctuary, his refuge from life, from the Dursleys, and when the need arose, from himself as well. There was nothing to feel about it, really.

Malfoy raised his eyebrows in disbelief and then gave the graves an extremely unimpressed look.

"I want to tell you now," said Harry suddenly, as if finally having come to a decision that he had previously been unable to make. "I want to tell you everything."

Malfoy nodded, and Harry began to speak. He told him all about his life with the Dursleys. He told him about what it was like to find out he was a wizard, and then what it was like to find out he was the Boy-Who-Lived. He told him about the night that he lost his godfather, and he told him about the night he first contacted Sirius, and how he had had the vision and then saved Severus' life. He told him about the potion to help his bond with Voldemort, and about the Legilimency lessons, and how he had accidentally bonded with Severus. He told him about the possession, and how he had been unconscious during those two weeks when everyone thought he was in hiding, and how he and Ginny completed their twin bond when Ginny brought him back from the dead.

He told Malfoy—speaking it aloud for the first time since it happened—about the final battle against Voldemort, and what exactly happened.

"You possessed a _Dementor_!" shot Malfoy, his voice unnaturally high, his eyes wide in shock and disbelief. It was the most emotion than he had shown since before the battle.

"Yeah," said Harry, trying not to remember it.

"Merlin's fucking beard, Harry! That's impossible!" When Harry shrugged, Malfoy continued, "No, I don't mean that it's just never been documented before. I mean that there was an entire field of study at one time about how and why humans could not do mental magic on magical creatures!"

"But I did Legilemency on Firenze in class one day," argued Harry without concern. "He didn't seem too surprised about it."

"You did Leg…" Malfoy trailed off, gaping at him. He shook his head, sighing, "un-fucking-believable."

"Anyway," Harry quickly waved the issue aside, not willing to linger on that topic longer than was necessary. "After that I didn't have very much strength left. I'm surprised I was able to cast the Killing Curse on him."

Malfoy nodded soberly. "So you did use an Unforgivable."

"Yeah."

"Did it hurt?"

"No."

Malfoy was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "It hurt me."

Harry looked at him for a few seconds before he realized Malfoy was talking about when he killed his father. It was the first he had spoken of any topic even distantly related to that event.

They didn't speak again for a long time. Eventually, Malfoy began to shudder and Harry held him close. Malfoy buried his face in Harry's neck so that Harry couldn't see him cry, but Harry felt his shirt growing damp, and then he was crying too. Holding on tight, they finally began to let go.

After awhile, Harry found himself whispering, "It's okay."

Malfoy shook his head, not looking up. "No it's not," he said. "It's just over."

XIXIX

After they returned from the cemetery, Harry went to Dumbledore to ask him about his ability to do mental magic on magical creatures. He told him about doing Legilimency on Firenze in class while he was still training, and he told him about possessing the Dementor in order to give Voldemort the Dementor's kiss.

Dumbledore did not seem to be surprised when Harry revealed the details of how he destroyed Lord Voldemort. Instead, he began talking about Harry's fifth year, when Harry had the vision inside the snake that attacked Mr. Weasley.

"It _is_ well documented that wizards cannot do mental magic on magical creatures," said Dumbledore, "But Voldemort had very clearly been able to possess this snake, and then _you_ had a vision not only through Voldemort, but through the snake as well."

Harry shook his head. "But right before I…" Harry paused, needing to distance himself from the memory. "Right before the Dementor's Kiss, he said it wasn't possible to possess magical creatures. If he could do it, why would he be surprised that I could?"

"Harry," said Dumbledore slowly, "Voldemort had been experimenting on himself for decades before he first attacked you, before he transferred some of his power to you. We were able to surmise after Arthur Weasley's attack that one of his experiments had been to _join_ with one of the magical snake species."

"When you say 'join'," began Harry tentatively, wondering briefly if Dumbledore was alluding to some strange sexual ritual.

"I mean he spliced himself with a snake so that he, himself, became part snake."

Harry took a moment to let this sink in. First his mind swirled with uncertainties about the impossibility of such bizarre magic, but then a thought came to Harry's mind that he found to be morbidly humorous. "You mean to tell me," he said, "That not only was Voldemort _not_ a pure-blooded wizard, but he wasn't even a pure-blooded _human_!"

Dumbledore furrowed his brow. "I hadn't thought of it along those lines," he mused.

"Why would he even do something like that?" asked Harry.

"Snakes are cold-blooded," reasoned Dumbledore, "So having the two opposing natures would strengthen him with complexity, making him harder to kill. Several of the magical species of snake can live for many hundreds, or even thousands, of years—basilisks, for instance. Plus, the spirit essences of magical creatures are interwoven with the spirit essence of the world, which means that when they die, their souls do not leave the Earth to move on to the afterlife."

Harry was rubbing his fingers through his hair, staring off into space. "So… Voldemort was part snake then, which meant that he could possess snakes. What does that have to do with me being able to do… whatever it is I can do?"

"Voldemort transferred some of his power to you when he attacked you as a baby," Dumbledore replied by way of a simple answer.

"So I'm part snake?" asked Harry sarcastically.

"Only magically speaking."

Harry stared at Dumbledore through half-lidded eyes. "And that's why I can do mental magic on non-human creatures."

"We believe so, yes."

Harry shook his head. "But that means that Voldemort could too," he said, still unable to make sense out of this new information. "But he couldn't—he could only possess snakes."

"No," said Dumbledore. "Voldemort couldn't possess other creatures because he _knew_ that it was impossible, so he never tried. But nobody ever bothered to tell you that it was impossible. You decided to figure it out on your own. So you experimented on Firenze and didn't think to question your findings."

Harry scoffed. "So you're telling me that if Severus had told me one day during lessons that it was impossible to do Legilimency on magical creatures so don't bother trying, that we might not be here right now because Voldemort might have won the war?"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and smiled pleasantly. "I'm telling you that sometimes experience is a greater teacher than knowledge alone."

Harry put his head in his hands, annoyed suddenly that Dumbledore was getting all sage-like when Harry was trying to deal with this one extra link he had to Voldemort, further separating himself from the rest of the wizarding community. The implications were dizzying. If Voldemort had known he could do that magic, or if Harry had 'known' that he couldn't…

"Wait a minute," said Harry slowly.

He was thinking back to questions he had asked Dumbledore about the Department of Mysteries. He had asked if they might know a way to destroy Voldemort, but had not gotten any answers. At first Dumbledore had told him that they were 'looking into it', and Harry remembered that he had later gotten the distinct feeling that the Headmaster was not telling him everything.

He looked up with narrowed, almost accusing eyes. "How long have you known this about me?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Dumbledore took a deep breath. "We didn't know. We have _suspected_ it of you since Arthur's attack."

"We? Who we?" Harry was feeling his anger rise. "The Department of Mysteries?"

Dumbledore nodded once, and the pieces fell together in Harry's brain, and Harry felt his fury well up within him.

"They _had_ found a way to kill Voldemort, body and soul! You knew! You _knew_ what I was going to have to do!" Harry's voice was rising and he was sitting forward in his seat, feeling ready to jump up and destroy the office once again.

"Harry," said Dumbledore softly, "Could you have done it if you had known beforehand?"

And Harry's anger froze. He thought about the Dementor, his biggest fear. He thought about his third year when he had almost lost his soul to the Kiss. He thought about all the near misses he had had this year, the times he had almost lost himself because of the mental magic he was doing. And he thought about having plenty of time to consider all of these things carefully, having plenty of time to wallow in doubt and dread. He sat back in his chair.

"No," he said, his voice suddenly as soft as Dumbledore's. "I couldn't have."

XIXIX

The Leaving Feast was starting, and Harry was walking down to the dungeons to pick up Malfoy. The thought of leaving Hogwarts made Harry nervous because he knew what the summer would bring.

Dumbledore had protected Harry from the 'Ministerial Inquisition', as Harry thought of it, so long as he was at the school. Somehow, Dumbledore had managed to buy Harry time before he would have to deal with telling the rest of the world how he had killed Voldemort. Harry imagined that the relief felt by the Ministry, as well as the rest of the world, had helped them to grant Harry this leniency, but they weren't going to wait forever for the story to be published in the papers, recounted in books, and told over and over again with whispered awe and reverence.

The time at school had given Harry a chance to pull himself together, but his grace period was nearly over. He would have to testify, probably under veritaserum, about what had happened during the final battle, and that was neither going to be easy nor simple. He hadn't wanted to talk about it before. But now, with all this new information about how and why things had happened the way they did, the story had grown amazingly in complexity.

Harry was also planning on testifying at Severus' trial, just in case the Ministry was planning on making an example out of him to all the Death Eaters still out there. He didn't know how much he would be expected to tell about his work with Severus, if their bond would come up in the questioning, or if it would just be enough that Harry Potter said that Severus Snape was okay.

Harry was not looking forward to it at all.

Malfoy emerged from the Slytherin common room and smiled when Harry gave him a rose. It was charmed so that its petals were silver and its stem was Slytherin green. He kissed Harry lightly on the mouth and they began a slow walk to the Leaving Feast.

"You never told me what you were doing this summer," said Harry as they strolled down the halls. "Where are you going to stay?"

"Oh, um…" Malfoy looked down and Harry wondered momentarily if he was embarrassed about something. "I'm staying at Snape Manor, actually. Severus gained custody of me just this week. He's trying to get my inheritance back, but my parents locked it from me pretty securely. The Ministry will probably seize the entire estate anyway, with my mother in jail."

"I'm sorry," said Harry, squeezing his hand.

Malfoy shrugged. "Whatever," he said flippantly, "You know, my choice and all."

"Yeah, well, I'm going to be going between Grimmauld Place and the Burrow, and if you want to come and visit…" Harry raised an eyebrow in question.

Malfoy smirked. "Visit with _Weasleys_? Are you kidding me?"

"No," said Harry simply.

Malfoy let out a long, over-exaggerated sigh. "If I must…"

Harry knocked him with his shoulder and smiled. _There_ was something to look forward to.

They walked into the Great Hall, but it was filled this time with family members of students—both living and deceased. It was decorated in somber tones. The House colors and typical festivities that adorned the room during the Leaving Feasts from years past were entirely absent.

The Leaving Feast this year was a tribute, was a memorial, was a goodbye.

The teachers weren't sitting at their usual places at the head table. Instead, they were scattered throughout the Great Hall, sitting with their Houses or with families they were close to. The faculty table in the front of the Hall had been removed, and instead there was an enormous memorial display of all of those that were lost from the Hogwarts family. There were photographs, paintings, and items of remembrance. It was covered by flowers and formal-looking bows. Students and family members continued to add letters and poems, things that had been cherished by their loved ones, things that reminded them of those they had lost.

Harry looked around the room, searching out the faces of everyone he still had in his life. He looked to Severus, to Remus, to the Weasleys and the Flamels. He looked to Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna. He looked to Dumbledore and McGonagall.

He looked to Malfoy, and they walked forward together. At the memorial display, Harry took out a picture he had selected from the photo album Hagrid had given him all those years past. It was a picture of his mum and dad on their wedding day, laughing as Sirius dove into the picture just in time and slung his arm around his best friend's shoulder, winking at Lily. Harry placed the picture lovingly amidst the black cloth and flowers.

He took out some pictures he had torn out of an old yearbook of Cedric, Cho, Dean, Seamus and Christopher. He also added yearbook pictures of other students he had known, perhaps not as well, but he felt their loss regardless. He had had classes with them for years, had seen their faces in the halls, had trained them in the DA. He pulled out an old newspaper clipping about the Triwizard Tournament. Fleur smiled brilliantly up at him, and seemed slightly offended when Harry looked away and put the picture down on the table with the others.

He glanced up at Malfoy, who was adding pictures of his Housemates and a photo of his parents. Harry looked around quickly, and then very surreptitiously took out one more photo and slipped it onto the table beside the other pictures he had laid out.

An eleven-year-old boy with dreadfully unkempt hair, huge round glasses, and a lightening bolt scar smiled shyly up at him. In his eyes, Harry could see the wonder he felt at the world around him. He could see hope for what his future held. He could see a shining belief that life was good now that he had finally found a place where he belonged, a place in the wizarding world.

And in the context of the memorial of so many hundreds dead, in a room where so many tears were being shed, and through the eyes of one who had seen the worst of what life had to offer, Harry looked at the photo of this innocent child, and knew he had lost him forever.

Fin.

XIXIX

XIX

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End file.
